Friday, March 28, 2008

NCAA Hockey Preview #2


Seriously, what is wrong with you WWWWWW. Sarah Chalke???? Thanks to that disgusting photo I can’t even eat my donut this morning. What really pisses me off is I bought one of those really good raised donuts with white frosting and the cute little spring colored sprinkles. Now that is wasted thanks to Sarah "I am 30 pounds over weight" Chalke. You really need to step it up. Also, screw drivers are gay. Not white wine spritzer gay, just plain old gay. Why is C. Garey so angry and why does he use his entire name as a moniker??? C. Garey, I am only asking why you are so angry and I am in know way judging you. On to hockey.

Midwest Regional (Madison, Wi "greatest city on earth")

Did you know that Bogart once puked crap out of his mouth and onto his arm while road tripping it in Madison. It what just like that episode of South Park where Cartman poops out his mouth. The only difference is Cartman had an actual turd come out his mouth and Bogart had some hybrid combination of turd and #3's. I know this is disgusting, but it is also fascinating if you really think about it. You know this isn’t any worse than the picture of nasty ass Sarah Chalke. God I still feel sick. F U WWWWWW!

#1 North Dakota vs #4 Princeton- I would love nothing more then to start this preview by predicting a Princeton victory but I don’t want to look like one of those bitter guys who say Brett Farve sucks and then tries to prove it. Instead I will just say North Dakota sucks but is still really good? Either way they win this game, but I don’t think it will be a blow out. I still say North Dakota is a one team line. Anyone who shuts down the Duncan-Oshie line will be in the game with North Dakota. NoDak does have a great defense and possibly the 2nd best goalie in the country. Kangas is clearly a better goalie than Lamerioux. North Dakota wins 3-1. God knows I would love to see an upset here! Also, have you heard the internet rumor about the time Duncan and Lamerioux got real drunk and put live pocket gophers "in" each other? Sick.

#2 Denver vs #3 Wisconsin- I still can’t believe Wisconsin is in this tournament. You can take your pairwise rankings a stick them right up Sarah Chalke fat ass. However you do the math Mankato State got screwed. To top it off Wisconsin gets to play at home. F’ing Bucky cheated somehow and he will burn in hell when it comes out. Denver really should win this game but Bucky in the Kohl Center scares me a bit. I am going to pick Denver to win 2-1, but my gut is saying Wisconsin at home. Whoever wins this game wins the region, book it!

Regional Final #1 North Dakota vs #2 Denver- This game will set college hockey back 10 years. Denver will play trap hockey that makes the MLS look interesting. The beautiful part about this game will be another failure by the mouth breather Hakstol. Denver wins 2-1. With all the talents UND loses this year it will be a minimum of three years before they are title contenders again. Suckers!

Northeast Regional (Worcester, MA)



#1 Miami (shit house!) vs #4 Air Force- Miami is the classic team that puts up huge numbers all year and then goes up in a ball of flames every year at the NCAA tournament. This year will be no different. Miami does have a legit stud in Ryan Jones. Jones has scored 30 goals in 38 games this year and made the Hoby Baker top 10 list. All I know about Air Force is I watched them get out played by the Gophers back in December. At that point the Gophers absolutely sucked and where playing without the team members who where playing in the world Jr. Tournament. You know that Air Force will work real hard because that is what idiots in the armed forces do. The problem is these kids are playing for a service school because they aren’t good enough to play for a top tier program or they want to make something out of their lives other than athletics. That’s not exactly American if you ask me. Miami wins 3-2.

#2 Boston College vs #3 Minnesota. Boston College is led by Nathan Gerbe. The beauty of Nathan Gerbe is Dawg towers over him. Gerbe stands 5-6 but is skilled as hell. He is exactly the type of player the Gophers need to start recruiting. Here is a little history for you. Do you know the last time the Frozen Four was in Denver the Gophers won the NCAA title? And.....The last time the Gophers lost to Denver in the WCHA Final Five Championship they went on to win the NCAA Title. What does this mean???? Boston College wins 3-1! This is a game the Gophers can win, but my gut tells me they won’t. That is to bad because the winner of this game will move onto the Frozen Four. Saturday will also be a sad day for The Bear as he will say good bye to his all time favorite Gopher, Derek Peltier. The good news for The Bear is he will be able to have Peltier caddy his golf clubs for him this summer at Meadow Brook.

Northeast Championship #1 Miami vs #2 Boston College. Miami once again wets the bed. Boston College wins 5-2. Eat it Ryan Jones!


34 comments:

snacks said...

Snake, are you kidding? That chick down there is way hot. If she's at all overweight, its only because her boobs are so massive and weigh so much.

Dawg said...

Nice fan loser. You ever heard of a little thing called pride? No way we lose to Chris Hovan's alma mater. The gophs will put the boots to those Southy retoddds this weekend. Learn how to pronounce the letter "r" you Bostonian dipshits!

The half pint from BC doesn't stand a chance against Jesus.

JC 2 - BC 0. JC winds up with 36 saves.

WWWWWW said...

Are you some kind of gay?

Snake said...

I would rather see Suzy Kolber in a germany poop film than look at that road kill you call hot. Snacks, Breasts are for nourishment, not for pleasure, weirdo!

Al, You are a wicked trader. I actually picked the Beantown to win because you cut off your locks during the playoff run. Thus breaking the #1 rule of playoff hockey "never shave or cut your hair during the playoffs." Sampson lost his power when his luscious locks where cut off and so will the gophers. Just like Sampson you cut your hair for some trim! Kangas will never forgive you.....sell out!

WWWWWW said...

Wait, Dawger cut his mop? In the playoffs? That's more effed up than thinking Sarah Chalke isn't hot.

snacks said...

Snake, I take it you have a flat chested wife and are overcompensating by pretending you don't like boobs. You are like the guy who is secretly gay and hides it by openly bashing them.

Dawg said...

Worm - They lost in the championship so I thought it was safe to cut my mangy hair. Since its a fresh start I thought I would go with a new look. Come on Snake even the mouth breathing goalie from SCSU knows the now shaving/haircuts only has to do with winning streaks.

The truth of the matter is I donated my long locks to make a wig for Tommy Pohl so he doesn't have to look like Darth Vader in Return of the Jedi after he takes off his mask.

Theory said...

Sarah Chalke is fricken hot.

anonymous post said...

snacks that gay guy pretending not to be sounds like WWWW's brother, man now there's a real queer. Chick's hot, now quit being a tard.

Snake said...

Snacks, You leave my wife's enormous B cups out this argument!

Dawg, Just fessup to cutting your hair to impress your trim. I saw the SCSU mouth breather last week and he was hairier then Bogarts 2004 scrotum. I purposely attached a picture of Kangas and his flowing mop to show you what you lost. She better be biting the pillow for what she made you lose. Kangas Sellout!

P.S. Sarah Chalke sucks and not the good.

mama dawger said...

He looks hot with his haircut. Leave him alone snake, you should see how much ass he has been getting in the last day and a half. I am a little worried now about all the hot young trim that is gonna be on his tail. Well back to my liquid diet.......

PS. The sioux are gonna rock the socks off of those princeton preppie cakeeaters. There isnt gonna be an upset here. But I forsee a W for BC, wouldnt that be awesome!

Snake said...

Moma Dawger, Thanks for regurgitating my hockey breakdown for everyone. Plagiarist! Give Dawg his hair back!

Dr. Acula!. said...

Chalke = Hot.

Anonymous said...

Dracula = Lame

snacks said...

p.s. you're all a bunch of idiots especially nate for thinking that is a picture of sarah chalke. sarah chalke is the homely chick from scrubs. that chick in the picture is definitely not homely and is not the chick from scrubs.

But yes, dr. acula! is lame. who the hell has two different punctuation marks in their moniker? weirdo.

WWWWWW said...

It was labeled as her, but upon further review I believe is just a really good look-a-like from a weird angle.

But to say Sarah Chalke is homely is pretty much the definitively dumbest statement ever.

snacks said...

wwwww, you are also the guy who thinks pam from the office is super hot. face it, you dig homely chicks that are on tv.

snacks said...

wwwww, you are also the guy who thinks pam from the office is super hot. face it, you dig homely chicks that are on tv.

Mama dawger said...

HEY Snake! You were hoping a UND upset and I was just telling you that there was no way.

Now this may sound kind of creepy but I caught dawg emptying his hair out from a ziplock bag, spreading it on our bed and then rolling in it. All while screaming why?...why?!! I dont know. I guess girls at work have been just throwing their panties at him. He is really causing a scene.

Anonymous said...

WWWW, Pam you really dig Pam?!? I think you have lost all credibility on the rating of chicks, especially if they have ever been on TV...sad

Anonymous said...

Doesn't dawg work at a fat farm?

Snake said...

St. Cloud State stay a perfect zero for life in the NCAA tournament. F'ing loser! Fire Bob Motzko.

WWWWWW said...

Pam is straight up hot. You people are all idiots.

Snake said...

I am with WWWWWW, Pam is hot. If you laid her on her back, did her up in makeup and put her in pink panties she would look just like the tramp below.

WWWWW still has no eye for talent!

Bear said...

Pam is 100% hoseable.

4 letter lie sux said...

Pam would only be hot if you laid her down and then put a paper bag over her head and drew in a face with a sharpie...

The Todd said...

My apologies for the lack of commenting, I know you've all missed me. Believe it or not I got kicked out of my office and am now back to reality in cubeland. AND, my fucking boss is behind me now. I didn't dare grow a pair and pull up DWG while looking like I was working.

Sarah Chalke is hot.

That picture said to be her is hotter.

Pam is good looking but HOT in Blades of Glory...anyone?

I couldn't hate Bucky more right now after backing into the tournament. I mean christ, how the hell did that happen. I would forfeit if I were them, that's just embarrassing. Spineless assholes. Mankato got the shaft there. God, please let Bucky get fucked in round one by the Pioneers.

Stu Bickel's Crank is gonna knock out Gerbe. Hell, at 5'8 and three quarters, I'm taller than that twat.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to rub one out quick to 2girls1cup and then beer bust, here I come.

Go Gophers!

Bear said...

Thank God this fucking disaster of a season is finally over. Good riddance seniors. Could you take Barriball with you? Barriball is the college hockey version of Sully, a little spaz, who jumps around like an idiot and does absolutely nothing productive. His career was over when Hirsch's was.

Maybe in the off-season they could work on completing passes and puck-handling. It was like watching 4th line hockey all year. Blake Wheeler, would it kill you to take the puck to the net once? You're 6'4", grow a pair!

WWWWWW said...

I take it the hockey team lost? I'd like to know more, but predictably, Snake hasn't written anything about the game. Might be time to get a new hockey guy.....

Snake said...

This from the guy who doesn't write during days two, three and four of the tournament! WWWWWW, we are now fighting.

PS. Sconny, way to shit the bed you f'ing losers. Not only do you steal a spot from Mankato, but you have to wet the wet against UND. Losers!

WWWWWW said...

Hey tard, I only missed two of those days, and neither one involved a gopher game for christsakes. I still don't know if the Gophers won or lost their hockey match, I get all my hockey info here.

SuperSioux Fan said...

M-I-N-N-E-S-O-T-A, minnesota,minnesota.....you suck!!!!!
GO SIOUX!!!!!!!!!!

Snake said...

Its called a hockey game not a match tard! I am moving to PJS.

WWWWWW said...

You couldn't hack it over there. They like to use "grammar" and "punctuation" and "facts."