Saturday, March 15, 2008

March to a Title, Game III

I’m here with Mrs. W, Snacks, and my parents as we get ready to watch the Gophers take the next step to winning the Big Ten tournament. I don’t currently have internet access for a bit, so I’m typing this on Word. I’m so old school. Let the March to a TitleTM continue. Eat it Illini.

19:46 – This is going to be difficult, with all the womanly chitter chatter coming from Mrs. W and my mother.

17:56 - Snacks, “That Pruitt guy sucks. He’s just big and fat, but we can’t handle him.”

17:13 – There’s really no reason the Gophers shouldn’t beat Illinois. They’re a terrible team. McCamey sucks, Pruitt sucks, Randle sucks, Frazier sucks.

16:08 – Jesus, talk about coming out flat. It’s like they just assume that they’re a team of destiny. They are, but they still have to, you know, try.

15:02 – Hoff with a steal. What a stud. Well, they basically dropped it right into his lap, but he’s still a stud.

14:24 – Hey, Spencer’s back. I don’t think this is good news. We hit the first timeout, Illini up 7-4.

13:26 – Spencer playing tough. He’s terrible, but he’s trying hard. Kind of like the fat kid in gym class.

13:25 – Gophers 1 for 6 on free throws thus far. This bodes well.

12:26 – Awful. They don’t want to win.

12:24 – Busch gets lost guarding Brock so badly we have to rewind the Tivo so we can laugh at him.

10:59 – I can barely even watch this shit, must less type about it. 13-5 Illini. The Big Ten should be disbanded.

9:36 – Oh, and my mom called Hoffarber “Hoffacre” earlier.

8:46 – They have no answer for the Illini’s height.

8:11 – Snacks calling for the “McKenzie shoots a three every time down the court” offense. He claims it’s the Gophers’ most effective offense. I have to say I agree.

7:52 – This blog is boring because I’m sober.

6:38 – Michigan State and Ohio State go to the Big East. Indiana, Wisconsin, Purdue to the Big Twelve. Michigan, Minnesota, and Illinois to the MAC. Penn State to the MAAC. Iowa to the Missouri Valley. Northwestern’s entire basketball program is completely disbanded and barred from competition. Everybody wins.

4:22 – I start paying attention again in time to see Travis Busch jump a whole 6 inches for a rebound. Yes, we rewound Tivo to watch it again. 23-17 Illini.

2:46 – This game is making me angry. Angry and tired. And bored.

1:25 – Seeing as Shamala has one skill, and one skill only, why would he pass up an open three to pass it back to the point? Once again, the team continues to prove it’s dumb as all hell.

0:00 – 29-23 Illini lead and the half. I’m a little upset that Hoff made that shot last night now, seeing as how we have to watch this disgustingness.

0:00 - Oh yeah, I have the internet again. Huzzah for modern technology!

19:42 - Shawn (Shaun? Shan? Shawon? Sean?) Pruitt reminds me of LenDale White. A big fatass, but surprisingly effective.

16:28 - Getting killed on the o-boards. Why do I even watch this team? I might as well take a run at a brick wall head first.

14:36 - Five second call against Westbrook. F'ing fantastic. Worst. Team. Ever.

13:42 - They interview Tony Dungy, but I have no idea what he's saying because somebody here won't stop talking ever.

11:58 - Jon Williams hits from sixteen to tie the game? We have 32-32, momentum on the Gophers side, McKenzie starting to heat up, Meachem being shut down, things are turning in the right direction.

10:09 - Four fouls on Westbrook. This is very bad news. He's pretty much one of two players on the team who can reliably score.

9:20 - Nevermind all that rah rah crap. The Illini decided to start playing defense, which has the Gophers baffled, and have run out to a seven point lead 39-32, and it isn't even that close right now.

6:55 - Illinois is 11-13 from the line thus far. What kind of crap is that? This team is one of the worst FT shooting teams in the country, but they decide to go 11-13 this game? Maybe this means that when they have the lead in the last minute they'll miss all their free throws and we'll get another miracle victory.

6:51 - Hoff with an old fashioned three point play to cut it to 3. I didn't know he shot two pointers.

6:36 - Yeah, Illinois is ranked 332nd in the country in free throw percentage at 60.6%. Randle hits only 1 of 2, so maybe they'll start missing.

6:10 - McKenzie finds Williams for an easy dunk. Except that he knocks the pass out of bounds, despite having no Illinois player within 10 feet of him. Nice job, ass.

4:23 - from 4:50 until 4:23 the Gophers' entire offense consisted of Al Nolen dribbling. Right, left, then a drive. 27 straight seconds of Nolen dribbling. I'm going to go ahead and call this one over. The dream is dead.

3:54 - Coleman fouls out. This might be a good thing, seeing as how he's done virtually nothing all game.

3:50 - Shaun Pruitt, 6-7 on free throws today. For the season he's at 56%. Ridiculous. Illinois now up 8. I'm depressed.

2:30 - Gophers down 10. I'm done with this.


Bryant Notree said...

Honestly, is there a worse broadcast tandem other than Mike Patrick & Mr. Look at Me? Completely insufferable. You can't even watch the ACC tournament.

P.S. I hate Hoffacre, honestly. He sucks.

Bryant Notree said...

Shaun Pruitt is fat?

The Todd said...

Where the hell was Erin Andrews? I watched the entire second half and got nothing other than Tony Dungy. Bullshit!

WWWWWW said...

She was at my house.

And Pruitt looks like Oliver Miller.

The Todd said...

Thanks for the call ass clown.

Snake said...

WWWWWWW, Gophers hockey wins in OT and your man crush Mike Carman scored the game winner in OT.

The Todd said...

Boo yah!

And the hated Badgers got swept...AND the Sioux also lost in OT and have to play tomorrow. Go Tech!