Larry David is My Friend

Still here in L.A., or, more accurately Marina del Rey (or Marina del Gay) and just got back from the Laker game at Staples. The game went to double O.T. and the Bobcats actually won, but that's not the important thing. The important thing happened before the game even started, which stresses the importance of getting to games on time, a skill that has been sorely lacking for me when it comes to Gopher games.

We're sitting there up in the third deck, basically the top of the world and the only seats we could get for under $100, and before the game we see some people standing around with tags around their necks that say "Curb Your Enthusiasm Crew." We assume they're in some kind of fancy skybox or something as a thank you or crew get together or something. Not so. Right before the game is about to start, they turn on the cameras and all of a sudden Larry David and the guy who plays Jeff start walking up the stairs. Of our section. About ten feet away from me.

Awesome. They go up and sit in their seats, two rows behind us, and do this about five or six times to get the shots they need. They then leave before the ball even tips off, but it was a truly excellent experience, especially considering I think of Larry David as pretty much the comedic genius of all-time. I didn't get to talk to him or anything of course, but at one point he looked at me and we made eye contact and I'm pretty sure he gets that we should be friends. So now I consider us so. Probably even best friends, I don't know, I don't want to speak for Mr. David. I have a cell phone video of him walking up the stairs, but I have no idea how to post it or youtube it or whatever you kids do, so I suppose you'll have to take my word for it. But if you're some fancy rich guy who gets HBO and you watch the next season of Curb, in the episode where he gets nosebleeds to a Laker game, look for the really handsome guy who gets all the chicks in a black polo shirt - that's me.

- Overall Staples was pretty cool. Very nice stadium, where the third deck actually has a better view than the Target Center, although I haven't been there in years and haven't sat in anything other than a suite in over five years. The funny thing was we ended up with an extra ticket, because the dude we were going to go to the game with (my boss) ended up having to fly home early, and we wanted to sell his ticket for beer money, since they are $9 at Staples (for a Miller Lite) but you can't scalp tickets there.

So there were a bunch of people just walking around and would say under their breath, "need tickets?" or "got tickets?" We tried to play the game but we aren't really Golgo 13 kind of guys, so the closest we got to selling the ticket was when I tried to get a guy to buy it for one dollar and he wouldn't take it. At that point we just decided to go in and forget it, but when we were in line to get it some dude comes up and asks if anybody has a ticket. We say yes, to which he says, "Can I have it?" And we said "how much" and he said, "no man, I just really want to see the game, I don't have any money." And he looks somewhere between a homeless guy and a hippy, and he's white, so we are like, "ok fine, but buy us a beer." Obviously we don't really expect anything, but we don't want to have to buy him a beer. So we get in and we go into the souvenir shop and the dude ditches us, and we don't see him again. But at about halftime, some mexican kid shows up with the actual ticket we gave that dude. We didn't ask him how that whole thing went down, but I'm pretty confused here because it's not like it's a premium ticket. Very weird.

- Overall it's been a pretty good day out here in Marina del Gay, mostly because our boss is the one who left and we've been able to accomplish twice as much in half the time. I didn't get any more insight into the peculiarities of women of varying ethnicities, but we went to a bunch of stores today, which is what we're out here for - to understand the L.A. market because it's very different from Minneapolis. Although at one point we accidentally ending up at the Crenshaw Walmart (Crenshaw is the neighborhood Boyz N the hood was based on), where it was really busy and we were literally (and I mean literally not the way stupid people use the word) the only white people in building. It was a little scary but not really because it's California and the people here are pretty much hippie pacifists, much like the people in Madison.

Not only did I meet and become best friends with Larry David, but I also got to try In-N-Out Burger for the first time (good, but a bit overrated) and I got to walk out on the pier at Venice Beach and have a beer whilst overlooking the Pacific Ocean, which I've rarely seen. Pretty cool day.

- As far as the game goes, Kobe Bryant shoots the ball the time but also looks about ten times more athletic than everybody else out there, Adam Morrison cut his hair and completely sucks, and the best thing was watching Shannon Brown play well. I've always been a Shannon Brown fan, and tonight he scored 14 points and looked really good, especially since he was matched up on both ends against your boyfriend Kobe all night. Really like that kid.

- If you really want to be entertained, check out the post below this one ("L.A. is garbage") and head down into the comments section. It once again proves what I think everybody knows - the commenters are what really make this sight go. God bless you people.

- Remember on Seinfeld, how there's that whole thing about when George and Elaine have to be together without Jerry it's totally awkward and then have nothing to talk about? Well that's crap. Because in an earlier episode they work together to slip George's ex-boss a mickey, so they should be pretty comfortable around each other.

- Oh, and the guy I was with tonight, who seems like a pretty solid guy despite the constant racist and sexist comments, gave me an interesting statement tonight. He said, "When I have the opportunity to go golf with clients or co-workers I love to take it, because I usually come off as a god." So I was like, "Wow, what's your handicap" and he said, "about a fifteen." A fifteen. And you're a god? I was expecting more of a "3" or similar answer. Hell, my good friend 2P is like a three, and that guy sucks.

- If you're looking for a Gopher/Illinois preview, you should just go ahead and check one of the other blogs. I know you're thinking I should do it, but jesus christ stop being so god damn lazy and do your own research, I'm not your mom.

- Since everybody scared the golf guy away, here's your preview: If Mickelson doesn't win, it's going to be Baddeley or Snedeker. Sleepers: Villegas and Howell.

- By the by, if you're thinking about hoops here, Notre Dame is one of the worst defensive teams ever. Harangody looks like a Neanderthal, but it seems he's pretty effective. After than Mcalarney is a damn good shooter and Tory Jackson is good but a horrible shooter. That's pretty much it, and coupled with their horrid defense they could be an easy out.

- I think maybe my sleeper pick of Baylor is not going to quite pan out. Now, the first time I ever picked a sleeper and put money on them it was Syracuse at 40-1 and it was the year they won, so expect to win every year, but I don't think Baylor has the horses and losing to almost every good team they've played doesn't exactly win me over. It's not as bad of a pick as that Missouri team I thought would be awesome when they had Paulding and those other guys and missed the tourny, but I'm starting to think Baylor has no shot.

- For that one weirdo one time who wanted more baby pics, here you go:

That's her dicking around in her grib. As far as a Wonderbaby genius update, she currently says "hi" to pretty much everyone and everything, and the first time she saw stairs she didn't F around and just booked ass heading upwards. So smart. Much cuter and intelligent than Souix Baby (tm)

- Speaking of Sioux, I miss Super Sioux fan.

- Speaking of babies, you people should really buy more condoms. But only the most famous brand, none of that second or economy brand crap. And if you're a condom buyer, some real advice is to buy them at a place like Target. Honestly drug stores mark them up so crazy, don't ever buy there.

- We drove past Pepperdine today. Pretty sure my heart skipped a beat.

- Have you ever done this steak for the cash garbage on ESPN? That shit is hard. I had a streak of five at one point, but since 2009 started my best is only two, and I'm actually something like 8-12. Way harder than I would have thought.

- Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.

- You want to know who I don't feel sorry for; Brandon Jennings. You should remember him as the #1 recruit before this season who was too effing dumb to get into anywhere, even Arizona, and decided instead to just head over to Italy to play ball, hoping to still get drafted highly next season. Well, he gave an interview this week where he cried about not getting paid on time, and getting treated like a kid and how some nights he didn't even play. well cry me a river you big baby. How about qualifying instead and getting into a school? Thamk god it seems this isn't working out so we don't have to worry about this turning into a whole thing.

- I really can't recommend the King of Kong any more highly. You've got to rent it. So good.

- too drunk now. hope that was good. westbrook still takes carter in a fight. Illini 68, Gophers 61. Here's a picture to make it up to you. Can we still be friends? Although I'm best buds with Larry David so I don't really care.