Thursday, January 1, 2009


Well, my emotions yesterday ranged from disappointed to wildly disappointed to anger to apathy to kind of sleepy and back to disappointed. Not because of the football game, because in all honesty I have no idea who won that game, but the god damn jerk hole basketball team. I think I've finally settled on optimistically disappointed, because although Michigan State is a better team, they still couldn've won that game but just weren't all the way there today.

Some things, of course, are out of the team's control. Kalin Lucas was completely ridiculous today, despite what, in general was pretty solid defense. Chris Allen was hotter than Tiffani-Amber Thiessen in that episode of 90210 where she wore that black lacy thing in the first half. The Spartans, seemingly like most Gopher opponents, were unconscious from the free throw line making 12 of 13. There was little doubt in my mind that MSU was both better and more athletic than Minnesota, and clearly the better team.

However, there are certain things that left me absolutely stunned and bewildered yesterday. The first among these was the complete and utter unwillingness and inability of the Gophers to get the F back on defense, whether after a miss or, even more unforgivably, after a made basket. The highlight dunk reel dunk you've seen on sportscenter that I've been too pissed off to notice who did it was a prime example. The game was still in the balance, and the Gophers had just scored. Whoever that was for the Spartans just ran up the court while three Gophers' backs were turned and put it down for the thunder dunk. And that's just the most emphatic example, because it happened over and over again, a fundamental mistake and an embarrassment on a Tubby Smith team.

Overall defense didn't seem to be much better. When the team was matched up, making the correct switches and fighting through screens when needed they played well, and overall held the Spartans to just 41% shooting, but the amount of breakdowns leading to easy baskets was an absolute killer. One guy switching and the other guy not, getting lost in screens, not helping at the right time or helping at the wrong time (such as Colton Iverson jumping out to double the horrible shooting Travis Walton's 18 foot jumper, leaving Suton open for the jump-pass to layup) all led to easy buckets for Michigan State. Another fundamental issue that just shocked me on a Tubby team.

Lastly, and no big surprise here, but the rebounding and specifically offensive rebounding was really a killer. A 41-22 edge to the Spartans, who also grabbed 16 offensive boards, is just too much to overcome. Some of it was to be expected, as The Daily Gopher says, this was a MSU strength against a Gopher weakness, but my god, how frustrating to watch. Particularly plays like when Hoffarber got Chris Allen to settle for a long jumper, then turned and watch it miss as Allen went right around him to grab his own miss for an easy put-back. Again, some of it is to be expected, the Gophers just don't have the personnel to keep guys like Morgan and Suton (5 o-boards apiece) off the glass all game, but effort plays like the one I described by Hoffarber seemed to abound all game, and that is what led to the disappointment in this team.

Last thing I want to say, because this is making me a bit sick, is that Tubby needs to find a shorter rotation. Far be it from me to criticize the black jesus, but playing 12 games like yesterday just seems excessive, and nobody can really get a rhythm. Busch has got to go. He can score when he's open, no doubt, but he gives anything he scores right back with horrible decisions, poor defense, and the inability to rebound with big ten caliber big guys. Shamala also doesn't bring much to the table, except against the right matchup. There is no reason to ever have Hoffarber and Shamala in the game at the same time, except against slow teams who are playing a zone - like Northwestern. Shamala is basically a poor man's Hoffarber, so when you need to get Hoff a rest, go with someone who gives you a different look like Paul Carter everytime, not just a watered down version of the same player. And some of the combinations Tubby came up with yesterday really give me pause. Where does he expect to find offense with Devoe, Hoff, Shamala, Busch, Bostick, and Williams? How are you going to rebound with Nolen, Westbrook, Shamala, Busch, and Carter? Just bizarre.

Three final points (I promise):

1. You might as well light my big ten predictions on fire. Already.

2. We got the Fargo-Moorhead Acro Team yesterday. Awesome as always, but I really hate it when dudes are on the team. If sexism is to be allowed anywhere, and it should probably be allowed everywhere, the FM Acro Team should be one of the first places on the list.

3. I am, quite seriously, going to kill the guy who sits next to us at Williams. Dude, no matter how loud or often you yell at the refs, it isn't going to change a thing. Also, please stop yelling at Al Nolen to "GO!" when there are still fourteen seconds left in the half. I think he knows what he's doing. The opposing teams also don't travel every time they get the ball, or commit a foul every time they get near a Gopher player. I could go on and on, but I get feel my rage starting to boil over and I don't want Mrs. W to accidentally run into that damn doorknob again, so I just need to stop.

Please, please, please beat Ohio State on Saturday. Otherwise I can't be held responsible for my actions


Dawg said...

I'm pretty sure that picture is from the Ladies Man and not 90210.

Also, thats what you get for being optimistic. It was kind of sickening listening to you dote on this gopher squad. The team and yourslef will do much better if you resume your negative doubting ways. What happened to the guy that predicted the gophers would lose to CSU and Cornell. We want that a-hole back.

Suck it.

WWWWWW said...

1. I'm having trouble finding pictures of the 90210 episode where she was all slutted up in lingerie and went into Brandon's room and pretended to be all innocent like it wasn't no thing. Maybe that's from the ladies man, I don't know. But I like her boobs.

2. You want negative fan guy back, you got him. I'm more than a bit disgusted in myself for starting to believe in a team with one scorer. Hopefully they make the NIT so they can go on a run, if they hit the NCAA tournament they'll get bounced right away.

Snake said...

Who's the one scorer you are talking about?

Dawg said...

Snake -I will tell you who its not. That would be RSIII, who put up the impressive stat line of 0 pts, 0 rebs, 0 asst's, 0 blks, 0 stls and 4 fouls. Worst recruit of all time. Which makes you worse then Snacks at judging talent.

Snake said...

Dawg, Everyone knows you are the worst eye of talent in the history of eye's.

When The 3 is dominating in 2011 be prepared to get abused the same way snacks does for his ridiculous comments about the hoff.

Also, J. Cutler is a coach killer.

Dawg said...

Well there is no where to go but up from that stat line. Otherwise him and Busch will be fighting for that last scholarship next year. My money is on Bubuska and his deadly baseline jumper. Once RSIII gets his schollie taken away maybe your other guy Mo Hargrow can show him how to hot wire cars.

WWWWWW said...


snacks said...

WWWWW, you are not going to get to kill the guy that sits two seats down from us, because I am going to do it first. He is quite possibly the dumbest person on the planet, at least when it comes to basketball. My personal favorite from the Mich. St. game was when he spent about 30 seconds yelling about how the refs should have called a travel before realizing they actually did call one because he is too damn ignorant to notice what actually happened.

p.s. I hope he comes to this site and reads this comment.

From The Barn said...

DWG insiders, please comment on the Gorllas. The world needs to know what you think.

WWWWWW said...

Absolutely, unquestionably, the worst thing ever.

snacks said...

why would anyone like the gorillas?

WWWWWW said...

I doubt anyone does.

Please, please, From the Barn guy, tell me you aren't one of them.


Snake said...

First off what kind of barn has Gorillas?

Second, You have a team full of black athletes and a coach who is black. Then you dress up five white kids in gorilla costumes and put on basketball uniforms???? I am guessing they aren't looking to be honkies but anyone who looks at that and doesn't see something wrong is an idiot. To top it off they all act like complete D-bags. I say ban them from the barn or shoot them.

D. Duke said...

I fully support the gorillas.

From The Barn said...

Oh I'm definitely not, though I occasionally wonder if I am your favorite annoying fan.

The gorillas did nearly get in a shouting match with security after their boom box was confiscated before the game, and they were taunting Dallas Lauderdale (I'm sure that would have ended well).

WWWWWW said...

So not only do they look like idiots, it's now confirmed they act like idiots too? Good to know.

There's no way you're my favorite annoying fan. You seem to actually understand the game and also have beyond a third grader's vocabulary.

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