Friday, May 8, 2009

Adios Scott Stahoviak

Over at www.baseball-reference.com, perhaps the worlds greatest website, we have been sponsoring Scott Stahoviak, he of the unrealized 30+ home run potential. This sponsorship runs out at the end of the month.

I'm ready to move on. I want to sponsor someone, but I'm open to who, as long as it's a 10 buck guy.

Like Rich Becker. Or Les Straker (whose first and middle name is Les Paul and whose nickname was apparently Bolnalda). Or Dan Schatzeder. Or Pedro Munoz. Or Keith Atherton. Or Tom Nieto. Or Junior Ortiz.

Doesn't have to be a Twin. How about Razor Shines? Eric Fox (who is somehow only $5)? Al Pedrique? Tom Lawless? Tim Raines, Jr? Danny Heep? Garth Iorg?

Seriously, anybody who:

1. I've heard of
2. Makes me laugh
3. Is available
4. And is only $10 for the year

And I'm in. Current leader is Ron Hassey. Nearly 1,000 career hits! A career OPS+ of exactly 100. An OBP of over .400 in 1986. Career postseason average of .323. The only player in history to catch TWO perfect games. Plus, look at this sexy son of a bitch.

He looks like if Seth Rogen and Andy Samberg had a kid. Definitely the leader in the clubhouse.

Surprisingly enough, Chip Hale is already taken.

I am open to any and all suggestions.

15 comments:

The Sidler said...

I'm \for Razor Shines. It isn't every day you get the chance to sponsor a webpage of your favorite AAA hitter of all time.

Now batting for the Indianapolis Indians, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAZOR SHINES!

WWWWWW said...

Tough to beat Hassey. And since I'm not some homo from Indy, the Shines fascination only goes as far as his kick ass name.

Also, Rusty Kuntz is already taken.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know Chevy Chase played for the Indians back in the day.

Anonymous said...

I'd have to vote for Rich Becker, a.k.a. "Mr. Personality" as named by TK.

travis said...

Travis Fryman.

Anonymous said...

Is the book The Stranger about sitting on you hand until it is numb and then masturbating which creates the feeling of a stranger's hand doing the deed for you?

Bear said...

If you're willing to splurge, Chris Hoiles, $15; Paul Sorrento, $15. Brent Gates, $10; Frank Rodriguez, $10; Mo "Big Train" Sanford, $5.

Tubtastic said...

Butch Husky

Nathan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
WWWWWW said...

Hoiles, Gates, F-Rod, and Big Train are all EXCELLENT suggestions.

Ryan said...

Terry Leach!

Snake said...

Steve Lombardozzi for $10- The greatest twins 2nd baseman of your generation. Plus he kicked the shit out of that dirty brewer at 2nd base in 1987. Great name, stud player and hates sconnies. What else does DWG want?

Dawg said...

Randy Bush - $10. Easily the greatest pich hitter in Twins history and had the memorable slide in the 87' World Series. And his last name is Bush which is probably worth $10 alone.

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