Two Down, One to Go for 2010

Tubby Smith secured his second committment for the class of 2010 with shooting guard Austin Hollins choosing Minnesota over the likes of Arkansas, Memphis, and Oregon State.

Hollins doesn't have any stars on Rivals, which doesn't necessarily mean he's terrible or anything, it just means they haven't evaluated him - which is really weird.  Scout.com gives him 3 stars and ranks him the #34 shooting guard in the country for his class.  Scouting reports I can find say he's an excellent shooter with good range, but is not the most athletic or strongest player.  One big key I saw on the Scout report is they say a strength of his is his upside/potential.  Has Tubby grabbed a diamond in the rough?

Pairing him with Eliason (with one scholarship still available) is a rather underwhelming class, but might be necessary.  With two consecutive classes ranked in the top 25 nationally, and large classes at that, grabbing some role players and high upside guys makes some sense, and I still have full and complete trust in Tubby so I'm not worried about it. 

I would still love to get a top flight PG like Joseph or McCallum, but those are starting to feel less and less likely to me.  Even if Tubby ends up with another player rated similarly to the two already aboard, this is by no means a step backwards, just a holding pattern.  Hopefully he can grab someone like Shannon Scott in 2011, the Georgia PG who is #12 on the Rivals 150 and already holds an offer from Minnesota, and bring in another top rated class.

Twins v. Gay Sox

Hey folks, with the Twins making a run at the stupid little Tigers, I figured I might as well tackle doing a blog of tonight's tilt against the hated White Sox.  Of course, it's a little difficult because Mrs. W is actually in control of the remote on Tuesday nights on account of The Biggest Loser about fat people crying a lot, I think.  So what am I to do?  I'm streaming the game using Stream Torrent.  What's Stream Torrent?  I have no idea, but it means I can watch the game.  I might be downloading several different viruses which are stealing my identity as we speak, but dammit I can watch the game.

-  Span out tonight with a mild concussion, which sucks but is probably a best case scenario after getting hit by a projectile moving 90 mph in the melon.  Gomez in and, is Gardy's style, plugged right into the spot of the guy he's replacing.  He hasn't been playing much lately, but the improvement he's shown this year gives me hope.

-  And right off the bat he shows why I'm starting to have faith in him, drawing a walk.  I'd be willing to bet Gardy goes with a bunt here with Cabrera.

- Nevermind, Cabrera unloads on one for a 2-run home run in what must be just his second or so homer since joining the Twins.  That moron PA spent an entire segment this morning discussing if the Twins should re-sign Cabrera after this season.  No, of course they shouldn't.  He'll be 35 next season, and will probably get at least $3 million a year to give you the exact same skills you are already getting from Brendan Harris, only more ethnic.  And you could resign Harris for half or a third what you'd need to get Cabrera.  You'd probably like that, racist. 

-  Yet another Kubel double (that guy is better than Jesus at hitting, FYI), a Cuddy single, and a sac fly by Delmon and it's 3-0 Twins already.  I just checked and the Tigers are winning 1-0 in the fourth.  Come on Cleveland.

-  A lead off walk to Podsednik, one of the worst hitters in baseball history and a notorious hacker who never walks.  This is a less than inspiring start for Mr. Manship.  Although I was expecting the Twins to need about six runs tonight anyway, so my world hasn't been exactly rocked.

-  Sure enough, pillow-biter Pods steals second, moves up to third on a grounder and scores on a grounder.  I wish I had sound right now, because I'd be willing to bet that the Hawk is extolling the virtues of small ball right now and holding up the Twins as the ideal of that philosophy, despite the fact that they rank 13th in the majors in homers, 19th in steals, and 20th in sac bunts.  Note:  that's not small ball.  Note2:  small ball is for girls and queers.

-  Just having Matt Tolbert in the lineup makes me physically ill.  It must be terrifying for Danks to get to the end of the lineup and have to face that Harris/Tolbert/Punto bottom of the lineup (Harris is DHing for some reaosn that I can't come up with).  It's like the old Yankee teams, who were forced to trot out Tony Lazzeri, Joe Sewell, and Bill Dickey at the end of their order. 

-  A nice 1-2-3 second inning for Manship with no balls particularly hit hard.  I literally can't remember if I've been impressed by Manship or not.  Like, seriously, somehow I can't remember watching him pitch, even though I know I've seen him multiple times.  Odd.

-  I just found out Placido Polanco (Det still up 1-0, now in the seventh) is a free agent after this year and the Tigers might not sign him.  How good would he look in a Twins uniform?  Based on his last contract (4 years, $4.6 million per year), his age (34), his production (declining), and the economy (toilet), I'd be they could get him for 2 years, $8 million.  Think about it.

-  Alex Rios just parked one about 10,000 feet to make it a 3-2 game.  There is no way 3 runs are going to hold up with Manship pitching.  And now Scottie Podsednik just got on base - again.  I'd be willing to bet he hasn't been on base twice in the same game more than three times this year.

-  Two run home run for David Beckham.  4-3 White Sox.  Is Manship really all we have as an option here for a pennant drive?  I'd rather toss Liriano out there.  Incidentally, just how far has Liriano fallen that I have to explain I'm not kidding that I'd rather have him than Man "look at how far that ball goes the other way" ship.

-  Two more singles, and I get my wish, here comes Liriano.  Actually, my wish was that somebody could pitch decently tonight.  That's also a lie, my real wish is that Sarah Michelle Gellar would show up on my doorstep in a babydoll nightie with a bottle of champagne vodka, feathered handcuffs, some sort of edible body lotion, and a bucket of chicken wings.

-  While I was typing that Liriano got out of the inning.  Now Cuddyer, the next Morneau, leads off the inning with a double.  They need to get him home to tie it up.  Delmoney, Harris, and Tolbert don't fill me with confidence.

-  Delmoney with an infield hit on a Baltimore chop-style hit, which reminds me in a lot of ways getting rid of the metrodome is going to suck.  Not just because the Twins are more comfortable there than any other team, what with the roof and the baggie and all the other intricacies, but because of the mental advantage they have over the Sox and the Tigers.  Players don't say much, but Ozzie Guillen, the Sox announcers, and the fans on both sides are all convinced they can't win in the dome, and the records bear that out.  Make no mistake, the Twins will be giving up a significant home field advantage next season and beyond.  They should be able to make up that difference, however, by spending more on free agents.  Ha ha.  I'm kididng of course.  Their won't be any additional monies spent to bring in talent.

-  Harris gets the run home by grounding into a double play.  So it's tied at 4-4, but that wasn't exactly awe-inspiring.  Also, Jason Bartlett probably goes yard there.  Just saying.

-  Mrs. W made Caramel-Apple Banana Bread tonight, and it's becoming increasingly clear to me that she's not all that bright (hi honey) because she is complaining that all she can taste is the banana.  There are clearly strong apple and caramel flavors, and the banana taste is actually quite minor.  I guess not everyone can be the kind of banana bread connoisseur I am.  I could be a banana bread sommelier, no joke.  Oh, you're having the filet mignon au poivre tonight?  Let me recommend the banana bread with either walnuts or macadamia nuts.  Grilled Salmon with Asparagus?  You'd probably have a good time with the cream cheese banana bread.  Although everyone knows banana bread with chocolate chips is the best, right?

-  In case you're wondering, suddenly my internet feed isn't working.  According to the always exciting yahoo gametracker, the Twins managed to take the lead after a Cabrera walk and a Mauer double.  By the way, it seems the national media is ALL on board with Mauer definitely being the MVP.  We'll see.  I trust the national media less than I trust The Todd around a burrito.

-  Also I want to mention here that it appears Dawger and Super Sioux Fan (and baby Dawger) will be coming over to the W casa on Sunday for a little Vikings/Twins/food day.  And also probably my murder.  If SSF does kill me, somebody throw out the shoe box under my side of the bed.  Don't open it.  Just throw it out.  

-  Liriano walks Beckham with one out (internet feed is back).  This guy is still so afraid to throw a strike.  It sucks, and this is the exact same thing that happened to my dad in the early 70s.  Hot shot prospect gets hurt, career never the same - or in his case, over.  If the pattern repeats itself Liriano will one day be a math teacher with one child who is a lawyer and another who is a drunken blogger.  Geez, dad.  Sorry.

-  I think I see why he hates throwing strikes, because he just threw one and Konerko Konorked it about 400 feet.  Luckily the wall is at 401 so it's just a double, but it's still 5-5 and both Liriano and my self-esteem are in the toilet.

-  The TV claims Liriano just hit 95 on the radar gun.  I call so much bullshit, like Zack Morris talking to Belding levels here.

-  Jessie Crain on his way to the mound.  That's always the answer.

-  Ok, he got the last out.  Also that necklace is fabulous.

-  Cuddyer with ANOTHER home run.  Talk about rising to the occasion.  This is incredible.  Looking at home runs only.  Which as we all know are the most impressive thing about baseball.

-  I think my internet feed is messed up.  It looks like Matt Tolbert just went yard.  That can't be, can it?  Weird how this feed is still running fine, but made somebody else look like a weiner with giant nostrils.  Never really seen that before.

-  Cabrera just made a play going to his right and doing that gay Jeter jump throw.  That better be on sportscenter as a great play, and then replayed for years.  We also should start calling Cabrera "the Captain" and a "True Twin", as well as maybe consider giving him an MVP as like a lifetime achievement award.

-  1-2-3 inning for Crain as we roll to the 7th.  Think about that.  What are the odds?

-  Tiggers won.  Can't afford to give this one away.

-  Mijares out to throw the seventh.  I assume this means we'll see either Rauch or Guerrier in the 8th.  I also want to use this space to admit that Matt Guerrier has had an awesome year and I didn't realize it.  WHIP of 0.91, ERA 2.18, and 70 innings in the books?  That's Paul Quantrill like, man.  I mean that is straight up awesome.  And I wrote this right before he is probably going to pitch an important 8th.  Good on me.

-  Shocker!  Fatties are crying on The Biggest Loser.  Fatties.  Are.  Crying.

-  KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!

-  We're going with Guerrier here.  Hopefully the DWG jinx is no longer in affect.

-  First batter is Konerko.  He konorks one over the fence.  DWG jinx looking strong.  Still 8-6 Twins.

-  Mrs. W just told me Sarah Michelle Gellar had a baby today.  Freddie Prinze's baby.  For both of these reasons, let's substittue Christina Aguilera in my dream scenario above.

-  Guerrier gets it done.  Either get a couple more or let's just hope the suddenly mortal Nathan doesn't F this up.

-  No runs in the 9th for the Twins.  Nathan in.  61 innings this year, 81 strikeouts, 39 hits.  Holy god.

-  That was deceptively easy.  Twins win again.  With the Tigers win, they remain 2.5 back.  The one big thing on the Twins side?  The Tigers are on the cover of SI.  I don't believe in curses (other than the Curse of King Tut, the Curse of the Billy Goat, and throwing salt over your shoulder if you spill it), but I think it's pretty obvious the Tigers are screwed.  Just keep winning twinkies, just keep winning.

Weekend Review - 9/21/2009

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Jahvid Best.  Best running back in college football?  I haven't watched enough to say for certain, but the guy looked damn good.  It's been a long time since I've watched a college running back live with that kind of speed, that kind of shiftiness, and that kind of vision.  He ended up going for 132 yards and a school record five TDs, and honestly it probably could have been worse.  For some reason the Cal coach kept taking him out on third down, even though he showed early that he has excellent hands.  Whatever.

Overall you have to be pretty pleased with the Gophers.  They hung right with a top 10 team until the last ten minutes or so, and if not for a false start penalty on Cal that nullified a drive ending sack, who knows what could have been?  After the last two games, I'm very impressed with the Gopher defense.  Obviously Cal's 417 total yards don't look good, but in the second half the team really tightened up and played well enough for the Gophers to pull off the upset - they just fell a bit short.

What's going to help more in the long run, this loss or a fifty-point win over LA-Monroe?  Yep, this was an excellent loss, if there is such a thing.  And Eric Decker is a full-grown stud.  Great game by the Gophers, and if they play this way throughout the Big Ten season they can pull off a top 3 or 4 finish.

2.  Mike Cuddyer.   Ok, so he only had two hits in the Detroit series, and losing the third game kind of kills the vibe just a bit, but the Twins did what they had to - win at least two over Detroit - and Cuddyer was a big reason in both games.  His home run in the first game gave the Twins the lead, and his homer in the second game took it from a close nail-biter to a big Twins win.  Going into the weekend, Cuddy had gone 8-16 with two homers and 8 rbi since Morneau went down, and played the slugger this weekend as well.  He's not Mauer, Morneau, or Kubel, but if he can keep hitting like this he gives the Twins another big bat that they sorely need, especially with Morrneau on the shelf.  Yes, his mastery of the strikezone rivals Delmoney's and he strikes out like Adam Dunn without all the walks, but the Twins need him and he has so far risen to the occassion.  Keep it up friendo, keep it up.

3.  Landry Jones.  Sam Bradford who?  Sure, it's Tulsa, but nevertheless it's a school record 6 TD passes for Jones, to go along with the 336 yards he tossed for in the Sooners' 45-0 victory.  In total, the Sooners have beaten their last two opponents 109-0 with Landry at the helm, tossing 9 TDs against just 1 pick.  It will be more than a little illuminating when Oklahoma takes on Miami next week, since they are a bit better than Idaho State and Tulsa.  Is Landry like, really freaking good, or is he just able to destroy shitty teams?  We should learn a bit next week.  Also, nice name.

4.  Frank Gore.  Gore, a superstud like I told you, went off for over 200 in just over a half of football yesterday against the Seahawks, helped by both a 79 yard TD run and an 80 yard TD run.  He inexplicably didn't get much after that, finishing with just 207 yards for the game, but he didn't need to.  The 49ers coasted to a 23-10 win, with Seneca Wallace even coming in for an injured Hasselbeck, as they continued their march to the NFC West Division Title - as I predicted.  Gore also led the team with 5 catches and 39 receiving yards, but that's mostly because Shaun Hill has an Adam Weber-like Noodle arm and didn't complete anything longer than 17 yards (that one went to the "next great TE" Vernon Davis - how's that one working out?)

5.  Andre Johnson.  I've talked him up here before (not solely because he's on my keeper fantasy team), but he had another monster week, catching 10 balls for 149 yards and two touchdowns, including a hell of a catch that involved tipping the ball to himself and a tightrope act on the sideline.  He's basically the AP of receivers, fast enough to run by you, strong enough to overpower you, and with maybe the best hands in the league.  You can go ahead and have your Larry Fitz or your Randy Moss, I'd take Johnson in a heartbeat.  Chris Johnson was also big in that game for the losing Titans and could be here for his almost 300 total yards and 3 scores, but I don't really care about him.


WHO SUCKED

1.  USC.  When you are the juggernaut of the west coast, I think it would be prudent to recruit a quarterback or two.  Instead, the Trojans - loaded everywhere else - have had to rely on freshman Eric Barkley, who has been outstanding.  But he was hurt this weekend and couldn't play, and USC was kind of screwed.  They turned to sophomore Aaron Corp, who made his first career start and did, well, nothing.  He ended up 13-22 for just 110 yards and a pick, and couldn't lead the Trojans to anything other than a field goal after the first quarter.  I've read some reviews of Corp's play, and it seems he was the Jake Delhomme of college QBs.  Washington chipped away at the 10-0 a little at a time, and finally ended up winning on a 22-yard field goal with 3 seconds left.  Which is awesome, because USC is just a bunch of homos.

2.  Michigan QBs.  You probably think it's a bit weird to put anything Michigan related here since they beat the feared Eastern Michigan Somethings (Eagles?  Maybe.  I don't know.)  And maybe it is, since the Wolverines rushed for 380 total yards whilst stomping the crap out of the maybe-Eagles, but - and I didn't exactly watch the game - I'd be pretty nervous about this kind of QB performance.  Michigan goes with a two-headed QB approach, Tate Forcier the white passer, Denard Robinson the black runner, but it seems neither one of them can pass for shit.  Forcier was just 7-13 for just 68 yards, while Robinson was 0-4 with 2 picks (and 60 yards rushing.)  Look, they won 45-17, so there's really not much to complain about, but I'm going to go ahead and do it for them.  I'm good at that kind of thing.

3.  Green Bay Packers.  I have no idea why I picked these jerks this week for our Survivor pool.  I mean, I know why, I just really wish I hadn't.  There were three pretty obvious picks this week:  Green Bay at home against Cincy, Washington at home against the Rams, and the Vikes on the road against Detroit.  I won't pick a road team, especially against a division foe, so the Vikings were out.  And how could I possibly pick a team led by Jason Campbell, even against a crappy St. Louis team?  Green Bay was the obvious pick, even though I had said before the season started that the Bengals would be pretty good this year.  I thought the Packers were supposed to be super good and all that?  No?  I'm such an idiot.  Out of survivor in the second week.  Ugh.

4.  Milton Bradley.  Suspended for the season by the Cubs after telling a reporter "It's easy to see why they haven't won here in 100 years" and that the Cubs and Chicago were not a "positive environment."  This shouldn't really be shocking, the guy is insane.  The Cubs took a chance by giving a known head-case a 3 year, $30 million contract this off-season, but it now looks like they are going to have to find somebody willing to take him off their hands after a season full of meltdowns, including being sent home during a game after going after manager Lou Piniella.  Of course, this is the same guy who tried to be like Ron Artest and go after a fan in the stands when he was a Dodger.  It's too bad, the guy is an excellent lead-off hitter when he's not hurt or suspended, and even this year when he can't hit much he's still sporting a .378 OBP (and led the league last year at .436).  Nice job basketcase.  I think he should retire and join up with Carl Everett to have their own talk show.  I'd watch.

5.  Texas Rangers.  This is mostly just rumors at this point, but the Rangers should probably get a spot here just for suddenly being 8 games back of the Wild Card when they were right in the thick of it most of the year.  Kevin Millwood has a $12 million option for next year, that automatically kicks in if he gets to 180 innings pitched.  He would probably only get about $5-$6 a year as a free agent, so obviously this would be big for him and crappy for the Rangers.  He is sitting at 175.2 ips this year right now, and pitches tonight - or does he?

The Rangers are broke.  They had to borrow $15 million from MLB this year just to cover expenses.  According to fan accounts, they have stopped watering the field because they can't afford the water bills.  They also don't have any more Ranger mini-helmets for those ice cream sundaes.  They have Astros, Brewers, and other teams, but they ran out of Ranger helmets and won't order more.  Nolan Ryan is drawing a paycheck month by month, and has said he expects not to be paid after October.  I'm sure there are more stories like this if you look around.  The rumor now is that the Rangers may sit Millwood the rest of the year in order to avoid paying him the option, which would surely cause the player's union to file a greivance (I think his agent is Scott Boras, of all people) and cause some serious issues.  Even worse, rumors are that since their financial situation is so dire, MLB and Bud Selig may be the ones ordering Millwood shut down, and I can't imagine what kind of shit storm that is going to set off, especially with the Labor Agreement needing to be renewed soon (I can't remember exactly when).

The team executives and manager all say that they aren't going to shut Millwood down, and I would say it's pretty unlikely that they do, but this financial mess is going to cause major issues at some point.

CUDDY!!!!

Cuddyer goes yard to give the Twins a 2-0 advantage over the Tigers in the fourth (following a Kubel hit, of course).  Is it time to consider the fact that our very own I Hate Cuddyer Guy is kind of an idiot?  Yes, yes I think it is.

Couple studs right there.

EDIT:  Apparently Joe Mauer's brother just bought a used car dealership using Joe's money (rumor).  You know how they usually charge something like $18,999 for a car?  At the Mauer dealership it will be $18,643.  Get it, 6-4-3?  It's funny because he just grounded into his one millionth double play this year.  You'd think nobody would bitch about Mauer this season, but here we are.

EDIT:  Thank god Bogart taught me the trick of putting a lime (or lime juice) into Cranberry Vodkas.  I ran out of lime juice about a week ago and had to drink them without, and they were so sweet it was like drinking a pixie stick.  I would have burned out on them long ago without his tip and then I'd be sitting here sober like a sucker.  So thanks Bogart, and thanks Jason Kubel for that leadoff double.  Nobody realizes this, but losing you would have been way worse than losing Morneau-for-4 (that's two jokes stolen from the Common Man tonight).

EDIT:  Delmoney!!

EDIT:  I'm so glad Tolbert is in the lineup.  Confidence is high.  Also, DAMMIT!  I wasn't planning on blogging tonight.  Stupid Twins.  and booze.  but not the booze, I'm sorry booze.  I love you.

EDIT:  Duesning out, Mijares in.  Great job by my new boyfriend Brian Duensing, future stud.

EDIT:  Wow, that lady had a shiny shirt.

EDIT:  So seriously, was this Orlando Cabrera worth anything?  I'm starting to think morale, and that's about it.  Also Detroit is walking Mauer to face Kubel.  It appears nobody even bothers looking at stats.  Kubel is one of the best hitters in the entire AL this year.  Thanks for putting another runner on for him.

EDIT:  nm

EDIT:  Dick claims that "Pavano has emerged as the Twins' ace this season."  Shut up.  Just stop it.  How many pitchers have they said that about already this season?   Perkins, Blackburn, Baker, and now Pavano by my count.  Please, please, please don't say it about my guy Duensing.  Please.

EDIT:  Time to trade Joe Nathan.  Like right now, in the middle of this at bat.

EDIT:  Ok, nevermind.  He got the last out, but did a GREAT job of making it difficult.  Please try not to fuck this up now, Twinks.  I'm going to watch the Vampire Diaries now.  See you tomorrow [note:  Mrs. W just told me "Ali Larter is hot as hell......you can't write that in the blog."  Sure thing, honey.  I'm going to see where this goes.]

NCAA Hoops Preview: CONFERENCE USA

Calipari is gone, taking most of an incredible recruiting class with him, and Memphis lost enough talent to be a top 10 team all on their own, meanwhile three other C-USA teams are geared up for a run at the title.  What this means is that looking at this conference is not as simple as penciling in Memphis for the first time in a whole lot of years.  It's wide open.



1. MEMPHIS.  It was very tempting to pick one of the other schools that look poised to knock off the Tigers, but don't forget the guys they have coming back were still signed by Calipari when he could get nearly anyone he wanted, you just don't remember because they were behind so much other talent.  Wes Witherspoon is a 6-8 combo guard/forward play anywhere do anything type guy, and he was #34 on the Rivals 150 when he came out.  Junior guards Willie Kemp and Doneal Mack were #s 53 and 47 when they came out, and forward Pierre Niles was #117.  And don't forget Elliot Williams who transferred from Duke - he was #16.  So yeah, there's plenty gone, but there's still plenty around.   

2.  TULSA.  If you were going to put up a blueprint for a mid-major to make some noise in a season, the Golden Hurricane would be it.  Senior point guard who can score and control a game?  Check, Ben Uzoh.  Monster center who dominates the paint, offensively and defensively?  Check, Jerome Jordan.  A bunch of juniors and seniors who are quality role players and know their responsibilites?  Yep, all over the place.  They have gotten a little press already (I think Katz or somebody had them on their early Top 25), and it's worth noting that the C-USA tournament is in Tulsa this year.

3.  UTEP.  I almost had the Miners in first (which explains why I had a UTEP photo at the ready), but then I remembered that I was mostly putting them there because I have an irrational love of Derrick Caracter, the fat discipline problem who got booted from Louisville - yes, he's at UTEP now.  If he has it together, they will be very tough on the front line, and also return Randy Culpepper, a 17.5 point per game scorer who, although being very Robet Vaden-like, really seemed to hit his stride in the Miners' run to the CBI championship game.

4.  HOUSTON.  I'm not a huge fan of the Cougs this year, but any time a team returns two 18+ ppg senior guards you at least have to pay attention.  Of course, they also lose all the size they had without much coming back to replace it, but you know Penders can coach, you know they're going to play up tempo, and you know they will probably give a few teams fits this year.  Houston is playing in the Great Alaskan Shootout this year, which will be a good litmus test to see where they stand.

5.  MARSHALL.  Randy Moss U returns four starters from last season's 6th place team, although they do lose their top scorer.  The Thundering Herd's strength lies in the backcourt, where they get most of their scoring including Chris Lutz who scored 37 against Tulane and recently won a roster spot on the Phillipines' National Team (note:  I have no idea how impressive this is or isn't.)  Marshall also brings in the best recruit in C-USA not going to Memphis in center Hassan Whiteside (#87 rivals 150), a 6-11 center who should compliment the perimeter guys, although it sounds like his academics might not be in order.

6.  TULANE.  At this point it's now a total crapshoot, as the remaining teams are all pretty much bottom of the barrel.  The Green Wave get the nod at the top of the scrap heap simply because they are the best defensive team of the bunch, and they return a three-year do everything starter at point guard in Kevin Sims.  They also add Juco transfer wing Aaron Holmes, who was ranked #117 on Rivals list coming out of high school in 2006.

7.  SOUTHERN METHODIST.   Slightly better than the rest due to a returning backcourt of Paul McCoy and Derek Williams, who averaged over 25 points between the two of them last year and both of whom had positive assist-to-turnover ratios, a rarity amongst the guards in the bottom tier of this conference.  They also return power forward and former transfer from Georgia Tech Mouhammad Faye, who closed out last season with four straight games scoring in double figures and played for Senegal in the FIBA Africa Championships, averaging 17 points per game.  Oh, and if you were expecting Matt Doherty to turn SMU around through recruiting, it ain't happening thus far.

8.  SOUTHERN MISS.  Partyboy Larry Eustachy seemed to have the Golden Eagles moving in the right direction, but then 3-time All C-USA guard Jeremy Wise decided to jump into the NBA draft (note:  he wasn't drafted) and that knocks the team back down a peg.  With three other starters gone, the new talent Eustachy is bringing in has to help immediately.  Minneapolis boy Angelo Johnson will likely start at the point right away, and there are three new JuCo players who are all ranked in the top 60 by Juco Junction, with Gary Flowers ranked #1 in the country.  As with all Jucos, you never know what you're gonna get.

9.  CENTRAL FLORIDA.  UCF loses Jermaine Taylor, last year's C-USA scoring leader at 26.2 ppg and returns not much outside of 3-point specialist Isaac Sosa, who shot 45% behind the line last year to lead the conference.  The Knights do bring in a nice class, including a trio of 3-star players who collectively had offers from teams such as South Carolina, Alabama, Providence, Iowa, Stanford, and Butler.  One of the newcomers will bring increased media attention - Michael Jordan's son Marcus.  At least until he quits like his quitter brother.

10.  RICE.  Do you know who Rice's coach is?  It's Ben Braun.  The same Ben Braun who had a good amount of success with Cal not that long ago.  It's going to be quite a task to turn the Owls around (they were 10-22 last year, Braun's first season), but he's already starting to make inroads.  He signed a couple of three-stars this year (no small feat for Rice) in PG Tamir Jackson, who also had an offer from UAB, and power forward and likely terrorist Arsalan Kazemi from Iran, who had offers from Cincinnati and Maryland and may or may not be related to the lion from Narnia.  It's still a long road ahead, but looking to get better.

10.  UAB.  Everything was aligned for UAB to make a run at Memphis last year, and at least make the NCAA tournament.  Oops.  And now everybody is gone, with the Blazers losing more than 75% of their scoring from last season and 90% of their shots with Robert Vaden finally graduating.  The recruiting class fell apart as well.  UAB had a verbal from both Rivals #2 DeMarcus Cousins and were thought to be in the lead for hometown PG and #23 prospect Eric Bledsoe, but both ending up signing with Kentucky, as Mike Davis still can't beat Calipari.  After losing out on almost every other recruiting battle, the cupboard is pretty bare.  Transfer Elijah Milsap, who I think is Paul's brother, transferred in from LA-Lafayette and will pretty much instantly become the Blazers' best player.

12.  EAST CAROLINA.  One of the worst defensive teams in all of college basketball last year (ranking 336/344 in defensive efficiency) did very little to address that, at least in terms of signing anybody of relevance.  They also lost their two best players to graduation, with not much behind them to step up.  The bright side is they have junior point guard Brock Young who was second in the country in assists last season with 7.6 per game - the only problem is there is nobody left to score.


So there you have it.  Will C-USA be a multi-bid league this year?  Will Memphis finally be dethroned or can Josh Pastner pick up right where Calipari left off?  Has Derrick Caracter finally grown up?  With coaches like Tom Penders, Ben Braun, Matt Doherty, and Larry Eustachy in the conference, when will it's national profile start to rise?  Will Arsalan Kazemi blow up a stadium?

It's going to be an interesting year in C-USA.

BREAKING: Elliott Eliason commits to the Gophers

According to Rivals.com, 6-11 center Elliott Eliason out of Nebraska has verbally comitted to Tubby and the U for the 2010-2011 season.  It had essentially come down to home-town Creighton, snooty Stanford, or the U for his services.  It couldn't have hurt that he was allegedly in attendance for the opening of TCF stadium, assuming, that is, he didn't want any food.

Academics were a big factor in his decision, as well as the Big Ten conference, some relatives in Minnesota, and what sounds like an excellent job by Blake Hoffarber showing Eliason around, and for some odd reason they brought him to a Twins game as well, which luckily didn't turn him off. 

He doesn't crack the Rivals Top 150, and only rates three stars, but he's been improving according to reports and is starting to get on some more radar screens.  Other teams after him were Washington State, Colorado State, and Nebraska.

From the reports I have read, even though he was the Nebraska Player of the Year last season, he is not exactly an offensive weapon, but is a good rebounder and defender, and excellent passer with a good head for the game (3.75 GPA and 27 ACT speak to his intelligence) and is becoming comfortable in the high post.

I am not overly impressed with this signing, but I am intrigued.  A good, 7-foot center who can not only score but also pass well out of the high post is a rarity, and I'm always interested in smart players since I get really tired of watching athletic idiots run around at times.  Overall, I still have complete faith in Tubby Smith, so I'm sure this kid will be a nice surprise.
 

Oh, Timmy (*slowly shaking head*)

I don't want to get into a whole thing here, but in case you missed it the coach with the highest arrogance/accomplishment ratio on the planet ratcheted it up a few more notches, sending a memo into KFAN studios that he would no longer allow players or coaches to be interviewed by the station because he doesn't like how the station has treated the program (although allegedly fences have been mended, egos have been consoled, and everything has been patched up now - which I'm guessing is when the PR guys got involved and told Brewster to get his shit together).  I have three major issues with this:

1.  Thin skinned much?  This is how you want to turn the University of Minnesota football program into a major power, by shutting down when there's a little criticism?  And trust me here folks, I listen to a lot of KFAN at work, and they are extremely mild in their critiques.  Sure, Barreiro won't hesitate to go after the non-conference schedule if it's weak, but he's been extremely complimentary about it this year.  The one and only thing I've heard him say this year is that fans should expect more from a program that is now supposed to be big-time than to be thrilled with an overtime win over Syracuse.  First of all, he's right.  Second of all, if you're the coach don't you want your fans to expect big things?  Do you want your fans to think, "sweet, we beat Syracuse" or do you want them to think, "Wow, we got lucky, we are a way better team and program than that"?  I know which way I would go.  But if Brewster can't handle a little bit of mild criticism, especially in one of the softest media markets for negative press around, he's got a lot of growing up to do.

2.  Cutting off 25% of your exposure.  Wasn't one of Brewster's big platforms keeping kids in state?  When you have four main media channels (TV, Radio, Print, and Internet) to spread the word about your program, how arrogant do you have to be to cut one of them out and expect to still accomplish your goals?  That's 25% less of an opportunity for recruits to hear you or your coaches talk and walk away impressed.  That's 25% less of an opportunity for recruits to hear your players talk about how awesome playing for the U is, or how rewarding it has been staying home to play in front of your hometown fans instead of going out of state to play.  If you have four outlets to get word out, you need to use all four, or you aren't really trying.  I mean really, are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles really the turtles without Rafael? Would you want a deck of cards without the diamonds? Would Sex and the City have been the same without Charlotte?

3.  How would this help?  What is the upside here?  Do you know what happens when you take a sarcastic, somewhat dickish person with access to radio waves and try to show them up?  You get destroyed.  I'm not saying any of the KFAN personalities would have intentionally gone out of their way to sabotage the program, but anything negative wouldn't have escaped notice.  And I can't imagine anyone other than the biggest Gopher homer or Brewster fan siding with him on this one, particularly if they spend any time listening to the station.  More than anything, I keep coming back to "what was the upside?" and I got nothing.  The only thing I can come up with is this was a power play by Brewster, but, boy did it backfire.

This is now seemingly all pretty irrelevant, since according to everyone involved all parties have kissed and made up, but I know for some fans it's certainly changed perceptions of the coach.  I always figured he was kind of an arrogant blowhard, but you need a measure of those qualities in order to succeed as a college football coach and I thought he was probably mostly harmless.  Now?  It looks like he thinks he's far bigger than he is, thinks he's accomplished far more than he actually has, and he's let two wins and a new stadium go to his head.  It's a shame, too.  This should be the most exciting time for Gopher football fans in a long while, but now, for me at least, it's left a sour feeling.  

Incidentally, if you search "Tim Brewster" + arrogant on the google there are 23,600 entries.  For comparison sake, if you search "Urban Meyer" + arrogant you only get 8,620.  Kanye West gets 160,000. 

-  As far as site news, I know what you're thinking, "Hey WWWWWW, when are we going to get some college basketball previews?"  Since in past years I've bitten off a bit more than I can chew and end up getting burned out, I'm going to take one conference a weak, and give a very simple, easy, high-level breakdown of the teams.  This should keep me interested, and make sure they aren't too heavy on the blah-blah talk.  I plan to put one up every Friday until the season starts, following this schedule (with apologies to the other conferences):

•  September 18th - Conference USA
•  September 25th - Atlantic 10
•  October 2nd - Mountain West
  
•  October 9th - ACC
•  October 16th - Big 12
•  October 23rd - Big East
  
•  October 30th - Pac 10
  
•  November 6th - SEC
•  November 13th - Big 10

What's that?  You don't care?  How about you go F yourself?

- Finally, I want to throw a shout out to my good buddy Klingler.  This superstar, besides making more money than an astronaut, also completed the Ironman event in Madison this past weekend, a simply incredible feat.  I know you're reading good buddy, and I want you to know I'm so hot for you right now I can barely keep my pants on.  Congrats.

Fire Joe Morgan Is Back (Kind of)

The Sidler just sent me some excellent news, and I figure most of you people reading this are like me and are always looking for ways to kill time at work other than doing actually work, so I'm letting you know.

Fire Joe Morgan is back!  Well, not really.  But the guys from over there are guest editing deadspin today.  I don't really ever check deadspin, so I wouldn't have known this without the email and because I'm so kind-hearted I'm paying it forward to you, loyal reader, just like that weird kid in that movie with the guy from Hudson Hawk. 

It's hilarious and awesome, and it makes me mad at them all over again for shutting down the original site.  Head on over.

RIP Patrick Swayze

Who knew Patrick Swayze would rate his own post?  I wouldn't have guessed myself, but after his death today I couldn't help but give him his own space.  Also it's a hell of a lot harder to come up with five good Swayze movie roles than I would have thought, but for your sake I went ahead and plowed through.

Top 5 Patrick Swayze Movie Roles:.  
  
5.  Sam Wheat, Ghost.   Does this make me kind of gay?  Yeah, probably, but I'm ok with it.  It came out right as I was starting to notice girls for the first time, and if that pottery wheel scene didn't make your peenie say "huh?" then you were too young, too old, or too gay.  For years afterwards "unchained melody" by sent my heart all a twitter.  This is starting to get gayer and gayer so I'm just going to stop.  Also Whoopie Goldberg sucked, even back in this.  How did she ever get famous?

"I'm Henery the 8th I am!!  Henery the 8th I am, I am!!

4. Derek, Youngblood.  I don't really like hockey, like not even a little bit, but this was a pretty good movie, although I haven't seen it in quite some time.  The final confrontation between Youngblood and Racki is pretty chill-inducing, even though in real life fighting in hockey is pretty freaking stupid.  And I know that has nothing to do with Swayze but come on, tell me he's not the perfect mentor in this (other than Crash Davis).

"Thank god there is a sport for middle sized white guys."

3.  Jed, Red Dawn.  This is a movie I really, really need to re-watch.  It's been a long time, but I remember it being super awesome.  Maybe it's better left in the past?  I don't know.  All I know is that Jed kicks ass

"WOLVERINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  

2.  Bodhi, Point Break.  Thsi would be the #1 role of all-time for 99% of actors today, and is only #2 because the #1 pick is so freaking strong.  If you haven't seen this movie you need to go rent it right now.  Swayze, Keanu, Gary Busey, and Dr. Cox from Scrubs?  Toss in a suprisingly attractive Lori Petty and a plot that entertwines bank robbing and surfing and you have an all-time classic.  The way Swayze plays Bodhi totally playing Johnny Utah was oscar-worthy.  If only he could have played cancer the same way.  *sad head shake*

"I am an F....B...I....Agent!" 

1.  Dalton, Roadhouse.  If you disagree with this you're a pussy.  No joke.  I don't really like to use bad language like that, but there's really no way around it.  This movie was epic in so many ways.  From the gratuitous nudity (thank you very much both Kelly Lynch and Julie Michaels - who ended up becoming a stunt double, no lie), the awesome fight at the end between Dalton and the whole Wesley gang, especially the part where he rips out that dudes throat, to the full helpings of cheesiness.  Simply awesome.  I wish I owned it on DVD so I could watch it right now.


"You take the biggest guy in the world and shatter his knee cap, he'll drop like a stone." 

Words to live by.


That'll do it.  I really only love two of these roles but once you commit to doing a top five you can't just puss out at four, so I had to do what I had to do.  I also just learned they made a Roadhouse 2 and Jake Busey is in it.  Might be worth checking out.

Weekend Review - 9/14/2009

This was a really good weekend.  Gopher football, NFL season starts, Twins are still playing, and the golf tournaments still matter and aren't the weird World Series of Golf crap and other made for TV events.  Other than college basketball season and specifically March Madness this might be my favorite time of the year.  If only we could get some nice, crisp fall weather instead of this sweltering heat.  Anyway, let's get on with it.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Michigan Football.  It's nice to have a chance to write something positive about a Big Ten team, and Notre Dame is full of a bunch of queers, so it's great to see Michigan knock of the Irish 38-34 to break into the top 25.  There wasn't a whole lot of defense in the game, and it would have been a lot of fun to watch if the stupid people at the stupid bar would have been able to figure out how to change their satellite to a local channel.  Seriously, I thought all that local channels business was straightened out in like, 1999.  I know that everyone I know with satellite has their local channels as part of their regular package, so there is no complicated switching of satellite feeds or anything.  And they didn't even know how to do it.  Yet they advertised drink specials during Vikings' games, which are on local television stations.  I should have gone back during the Vikes game to see if they had that crap figured out yet.  Arg.  Oh, and your friend Micheal Floyd caught 7 balls for 131 yards and a score.  It seems he's pretty good.  Like the opposite of that stupid bar.

2.  Adrian Peterson.  It is just sick how good this guy is.  Just another how hum day at the office, compiling 180 rushing yards and 3 scores.  It's just so fun to watch him.  He has the power to barrel right through people, the quickness to make them miss, and the speed to run away from them.  Favre and Harvin both looked good yesterday too.  Harvin is going to be a handful, running and catching.  He has a world of talent (second only to Hakeem Nicks of the receivers in ths class).  It's clear that Favre's lack of practice has had an effect on his chemistry with the wideouts, since a couple times he threw to an empty area because the receiver went somewhere else, but that can still happen even with a full practice schedule (see Brady Quinn's interception) and should get better with time.  If Favre can contain himself and play just like that all year, there's no reason this isn't a Super Bowl team. 

3.  Drew Brees.  Talk about having your way with someone, Brees violated the Lions yesterday, basically whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, finishing the game with 356 yards and 6, yes 6, touchdowns.  One of those TDs went to Robert Meachem, who I told you was going to break out this year.  Also Mike Bell had 28 carries for 143 yards (a 5.1 ypc average) while Reggie Bush rushed 7 times for just 14 yards.  Seriously you guys, Reggie Bush is a terrible running back.

4.  Brian Duensing.  I am totally falling in love with this guy.  Another start, and another gem, he pitched 7 shut-out innings on Sunday to help the Twins miraculously actually win a game.  This runs his totals as a starter (5 games) to an ERA of  with a WHIP of .  Just incredible.  He's the Francisco Liriano we thought we had but didn't but now do again because of Duensing.  It's tough to find a gem in this lost season of perpetual disappointment.  Seriously, how many Twins are you happy with this year?  Mauer, Morales, Duensing, Nathan, Span, Kubel, and Mijares?  Tough to put Morneau or Cuddyer in there despite their good numbers.  Their dueling late season slumps haven't exactly left a nice impression.  Anyway, Duensing is a stud, and is now 3-0 with a 2.00 ERA and a 1.14 WHIP as a starter.  A quick check of BABIP, K/BB, and GB% tell me this probably isn't a fluke.  If the Sidler was still alive, I'd ask him to do some nerd analysis on this kid, because he looks like the real deal to me. 

5.  TCF Bank Stadium.  The team won, and put out a very good defensive effort against Air Force, a team that runs an offense that can be hard to stop, but I was more impressed by the new stadium.  There were a few issues, such as lines of 30 minutes + for concessions (and longer at halftime), souvenir stands running out of t-shirts, and both Dino's Gyros and Subway stations running out of food, but overall it was a fantastic experience.  It was the first major sporting event I have ever seen in Minnesota out doors, and that's truly how sports should be.  Our seats were in the first row of the upper deck, visitor's side, on the 35 yard line, so we had a great view but it looked like the seating was laid out perfectly, and you would have a great view no matter where you were sitting.  I'd like to write more about it, but really you just have to experience it yourself.  The best way I can sum it up is that it finally felt like watching a real college football game.  If you can snag a ticket, I highly recommend it.

Of course, the real highlight of the night was listening to some 70-year old man say if he ever saw Joel Maturi he would punch him in the face. . It seems he's had season tickets for 56 years, and lost his spot on the 50 yard line and is now on the 15, as we learned on the bus ride from a local establishment to the game.  He was not very happy about it.

WHO SUCKED

1.  Michgan State Football.  I don't live in Michigan, but even I know that when you are Michigan or Michigan State, you don't lose to a directional school - yet that's what Sparty did on Saturday, falling 29-27 to the Chippewas of Central Michigan (aka Chris Kamen U).  The Spartans certainly did everything they could to lose.  CMU scored with just 32 seconds left in the game to bring the score to 27-26, then elected to go for the win and the 2 point conversion.  They failed.  Michigan State then botched the recovery of the onside kick, giving the Chippewas another chance.  They quickly drove into position for a 47 yard game winning field goal - which was missed.  But wait.  Sparty was offsides.  Given another chance, the CMU kicker drilled the 42 yarder for the upset and the embarrassment.  Seriously, this conference is awful.  There's no reason the Gophers can't finish in the top 4.  Other than the fact that they aren't very good either.   

2.  Terrelle Pryor.  Good god is this guy terrible.  The numbers are awful (11-25 for 177 and a pick passing, 10 carries for 36 yards rushing), but they don't even tell the whole story.  Ohio State had every chance to win that game and get the "can't beat the good teams" monkey off both their and the Big Ten Conference's back, but Pryor just couldn't make a play when they needed him to.  He's not a very good passer, is a tentative runner, and is a deer in headlights against a good, fast defense.  Luckily for him, there aren't many of those in the Big Ten so I expect he and the Buckeyes will have a good year once again, and then get destroyed in whatever bowl game they end up in.  I also want to admit here that I have no idea why people use "in a minute" as slang to mean "a long time."  Like as in, "I haven't seen you in a minute" would mean I haven't seen you in a long time.  That makes no sense.  A minute is actually a very short unit of time.  I think it's the stupidest slang I've seen since saying "hella-" before everything.  If you do this, stop. 

3.  Oklahoma State Football.  Remember last week when everybody was all like, wow Oklahoma State what a huge win over Georgia they must be really good lets rank them fifth and put them into the conversation for National Champion contenders?  Well they flushed all that right down the toilet by inexplicably losing to Houston.  The Cowboys came out flat, falling behind 24-7 at halftime.  As good teams tend to do, they came roaring back with three unanswered touchdowns to take a 28-24 lead.  Then, as good teams usually don't do, they pissed it all right away, letting Houston score three times in the fourth quarter including an INT returned for a touchdown when OSU was trying to drive for a winning socre to seal the deal and the 45-35 Cougar win.  So we don't have to worry about them winning a National Championship anymore.  And Dez Bryant is still a superstud.

4.  Cincinnati Bengals.  Remember how I predicted the Bengals would be a playoff team this year?  Nevermind.  They couldn't even beat the shitty Broncos at home, and not even after taking the lead on a Cedric Benson TD run with just 38 seconds left in the game.  Then, knowing full well that the Broncos were basically going to have to chuck the ball deep, they somehow managed to let Brandon Stokely catch a deflected pass and run 87 yards to win the game.  Seriously I have no idea how somebody could let that happen, but then again, it's the Bengals.  Really not a shock. 

5.  Jake Delhomme.  Yuck.  Wasn't this guy actually pretty good a few short years ago?  And now he's an absolute trainwreck, as shown by yesterday's outing - possibly the worst game by a QB in the history of football.  Jake went 7/17 for just 73 yards and threw four picks, and was so bad that not only did the Panthers bring in Luke McCown, they also brought in Matt Moore (who?).  I really wish I would have watched the game, just to see what that kind of performance looks like.  You can go ahead and scratch the Panthers off your Super Bowl contenders list - which I already told you to do.  God I'm brilliant.