We're nearly at the all-star break, which means we're a fair way past the first half of the season but everyone's required to refer to it as the first half anyway. It's also a good time to look back on what has transpired thus far and what I hope to see in the 2nd half, mainly because that's what everyone does at the all-star break. The most exciting part of the second half for a non-contending team is the trade deadline, so here's what the Twins should be looking to do:
First off, the Twins are not contending for the Wild Card, so put that out of your silly little head right now. They are currently 9.5 out of the second Wild Card spot with six teams either ahead of tied with them. It's not happening, no matter how optimistic Dan Gladden wants you to be. In that case, the Twins need to be ready and willing to sell off anybody and everybody who isn't a clear part of their future plans. That means everybody outside of Joe Mauer (untradeable in any case), Brian Dozier, Danny Santana, Oswaldo Arcia, Kyle Gibson, and probably Eduardo Escobar (just in case he's actually good) should be available for the right trade, and yes I'm including Glen Perkins.
Perkins is an elite level closer - yes elite - who is having the unluckiest year of his career (career high BABIP and career low LOB%) and is still putting up good numbers including a career best K/9 and BB/9. Considering he'll make just about $17 million through 2017 with a team option for $6.5 mil in 2018, he's an extremely valuable commodity - assuming you can find a team who overvalues relief pitching. The Twins won't be a contender until at least 2016 in my opinion, so if you can get a monster offer for Perkins you have two more seasons to develop a new closer. The Tigers, Jays, Yankees, and Angels all rank in the bottom 10 in the majors in bullpen ERA and all have deep pockets and are known to make splashy moves when deemed necessary. It's probably worth making a phone call, or at least answering the phone.
The other player I'd consider tradeable, but only for a great offer is Phil Hughes. Not because I think he's suddenly become Cy Young, but because you do need to field a full rotation next season and with any luck they find a way to unload Ricky Nolasco and Kevin Correia for.......something. Hughes has looked rejuvenated this year, and there's enough behind his numbers to at least suggest this isn't a fluke. He's signed to a very affordable deal ($8m per) and is signed through 2016, so if the Twins hold on to him they'll have him through that first season where I'm hoping they're competing for a playoff spot (2016).
The only other guy I would even consider holding out and passing on trading if you don't get a really good offer is Trevor Plouffe. It's pretty clear who he is at this point - a .240ish hitter with good pop, decent plate discipline, and decent defense at 3B - not a monster asset but a pretty decent player. Considering he's under team control through 2017 and is making just $2.4m he's a pretty good value, so there's no reason to rush on him. That being said, with Miguel Sano theoretically on the way and hopefully entrenched at third by 2016, he's not a necessary cog so any above market trade offer should be jumped on.
Literally everyone else is eminently tradeable, although most either have an unwieldy contract (Nolasco) or are just plain old too crappy to be considered desirable by anyone (everyone else). Two guys who should hold enough value who absolutely need to be traded are Josh Willingham and Kurt Suzuki. Willingham is a free agent after this season and it's doubtful the Twins will resign him, so come trade deadline dangle him out there and take whatever the top offer is - there's absolutely zero reason for Willingham to finish the season on the Twins' roster.
Suzuki is a bit more complicated, given that he's having a career year, made the All-Star team, and seems so much like Gardy's kind of guy it's actually painful. On the other hand, he's on a one year deal and some of his numbers look pretty fluky. Suzuki could be an ideal fill-in for a contending team needing catching help, whether just for depth or because of an injury, and Suzuki has hit well enough this year that he could offer help at DH or simply pinch hitting as well. The Orioles lead the AL East but have very little at catcher now that they've lost Matt Wieters, while they're getting chased by Toronto who has gotten nothing this year from the position. The Dodgers are another potential trade partner considering Drew Butera leads all Dodger catchers in plate appearances this season.
In the bullpen there's probably some potential to move Jared Burton, Casey Fien, and Brian Duensing. Burton is putting up career worst numbers but should have enough of a track record to garner some interest from a pitching starved quasi-contender. He's on the hook for a $3.6m team option next year with a buyout of just $200k, so it's not like any team would be making a major investment to acquire him. Fien is putting up his third straight solid season and is under team control all the way through 2018 so I could see holding on to him - maybe he's the future closer if they get a overwhelming offer for Perkins and actually pull the trigger. Duensing has pretty much established who he is at this point, but his ERA is at his career low even if his peripherals aren't any better than usual and he's been very good against lefties in his career so he could draw some interest. Hopefully.
Simply put, the Twins aren't going anywhere for at least another season and they have enough trade chips here that they should make this next month pretty interesting - SHOULD. Willingham and Suzuki really should be traded and if the management likes them that much they'll have the opportunity to bring them back a la Rick Aguilera. At least one out of Burton and Duensing should be traded, and there are other guys who could draw interest including blockbuster potential with Perkins. It should be fun leading up to the trade deadline. Yet somehow I get the feeling it will be all anticipation with no pay-off. Again. At some point this organization needs to realize they aren't developing players like they used to, and get more aggressive with trades and free agency (to be fair we did see a little of this last offseason) in order to get back to being competitive. Or just keep missing the playoffs.
[EDIT: Just realized I somehow completely forgot Kendrys Morales. Absolutely needs to be traded. Hopefully he gets hot again.]
Showing posts with label Brian Duensing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Brian Duensing. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Next Year's Twins' rotation = yucky
With another failed Twins' season nearly, mercifully, behind us it's time to look at next season and speculate on how the Twins' will suck next year. Actually it's pretty obvious, and it's once again starting pitching. A remarkable twelve pitchers made starts for the Twins this season, and with Pavano hopefully gone via free agency, Nick Blackburn and Jason Marquis thankfully let go, and Francisco Liriano traded it's mostly a murky future. Scott Diamond is the only Twin right now who is assured a place in the starting rotation next year, so I figured why not look at this other dorks and try to speculate on next season's horrid rotation?
I'm going to leave aside a few candidates, like Scott Baker (who, if he resigns here is certainly going to be the #1 guy), Anthony Swarzak (only made a handful of starts and is pretty clearly a bullpen arm at this point), the guys who pitched this year out of the pen but have some starting experience in their past (Jeff Manship, etc.), the minor league guys (Kyle Gibson, etc.), free agents (Derek Lowe, who is practically destined to become a Twin, etc.) and the guy I've never even heard of (Esmerling Valdez) and instead concentrate on the five guys who have already been given an extended audition this season (Sam Deduno, P.J. Walters, Cole Devries, Liam Hendriks, and Brian Duensing). A quick primer on some stats I'll be referencing:
ERA - duh
WHIP - also duh
FIP - Fielding Independent Pitching. Stat which measures a pitcher's effectiveness based on the things he can control (strikeouts, walks, home runs). Think of it as what a pitcher's ERA should be if all things (fielding, luck, ballpark) were equal across the league.
xFIP - Expected Fielding Independent Pitching - Same thing, but if you assume home runs are out of the pitcher's control and looks at it as if all pitchers allowed the same number of home runs per fly ball hit off them.
BABIP - Batting Average on Balls in Play. Exactly what it sounds like. An attempt to quantify a pitcher's bad luck. League average is around .300, so anything substantially higher or lower than that is usually an indicator of some good or bad luck for the pitcher.
xBABIP - Expected BABIP. Based off of line drives, ground balls, fly balls, and pop-ups allowed. Used to compare to BABIP because let's face it, a high BABIP could be because of bad luck or it could be because the pitcher is just throwing meat balls and getting laced all over the yard (*cough* Nick Blackburn *cough). If xBABIP and BABIP differ significantly it's a better indicator of luck than straight BABIP.
Got it, nerds? And we're off (stats as of 9/12 when I started this post).
BRIAN DUENSING (5.03 ERA, 1.43 WHIP, 4.05 FIP, 4.51 xFIP, .319 BABIP, xBABIP .315)
Duensing's the guy we're most familiar with given that he's appeared in (158) and started (61) more games than the other guys on this list combined (note: I didn't actually add this up, I'm assuming), and what you see is what you get: a soft-tossing lefty who supplements that by not being particularly crafty. He's been an effective reliever in his career (ERA 3.19) and pretty bad as a starter (ERA 4.57). This, in large part, is due to his complete ineptitude against right-handed batters. He has actually been very good against lefties in his career, and would be most effectively used as a late inning lefty-specialist guy and that's where he belongs. If Duensing is in the rotation for any significant length of time in 2013 the season is probably already a failure.
SAMUEL DEDUNO (3.55 ERA, 1.44 WHIP, 5.06 FIP, 4.65 xFIP, .257 BABIP, xBABIP .326)
An interesting case since he's a 28-year old rookie who never really flashed any significant potential until putting up a 2.14 ERA in 9 starts at Rochester this year, Deduno has shown some signs of brilliance but balanced it out by getting destroyed at times as well. I like the kid because he actually has shown some ability to strike people out, as evidenced by his putting up better than a K and inning in four different minor league stints throughout his career and in his six prior career major league appearances (all in relief). Of course, he balances that out by not being able to consistently throw strikes with a ridiculous 5.5 BB/9 and the fewest percentage of thrown strikes of any Twin still in the rotation (with the exception of this Esmerling guy) - although he also generates the most swings and misses. And it's not as if his control issues are anything new, he's struggled with them throughout his minor league career. Still, he shows some promise and if he can get the walks at least a little bit under or control (or get his K rate back up to his minor league numbers) he could end up being a passable #4 starter. Cautiously optimistic, but he has gotten significantly lucky on balls hit this year, so he has some serious potential to put up a +6 ERA.
P.J. WALTERS (6.05 ERA, 1.54 WHIP, 5.98 FIP, 4.62 xFIP, .302 BABIP, xBABIP .352)
Plenty of warning flags with Walters, starting with the fact that he's a 27-year old on his third team who has only once posted a sub-4.00 ERA above A ball in at least 7 starts. That's a really oddly written sentence but the point is he was traded after 5 years in the minors with the Cardinals and then the Blue Jays just plain old let him go before the Twins grabbed him off the trash heap and none of that speaks well for his future. He doesn't strike anybody out and walks too many guys to balance that out, and his best seasons in the minors were in A ball when he was pitching out of the pen. In retrospect, maybe the most amazing feat of the season was when he pitched that complete game 5-hitter against the White Sox all the way back in May in his third start making everyone think "Hey, maybe we have something here." Sadly, we do not. That was Walters season high in innings (9) and strikeouts (8), and only once would he allow fewer than five hits again and that was the game where he didn't get out of the first against Philly. If you can't tell, I am not a fan of him or his stupid name.
COLE DEVRIES (4.11 ERA, 1.22 WHIP, 4.90 FIP, 4.73 xFIP, .262 BABIP, xBABIP .330)
Devries has been fortunate to find a lot of the same good luck Deduno has (which is sad really considering both of their mediocre numbers), but a lot of nerd stats also say he's been the best starter other than Diamond (which is also kind of sad). I put Devries a step above Walters because he's at least actually shown some flashes of ability here and there and his K/BB ratio is a bit more palatable. Of course he doesn't actually strike many people out, but he doesn't walk many either which, combined with being from Minnesota, means the Twins are going to give him more chances than Blackburn to win a spot in the rotation. He's a soft-tosser for sure, but he does at least have four pitches, and one (slider) actually rates as statistically quite good (second best pitch of all the starters listed here on the team behind Deduno's slider which I'm pretty sure is actually a curve). His fastball is so-so and his curve and change get ripped pretty good, but it's his first season in the big league's so let's see. He also misses more bats than anybody other than Deduno, so that's promising. I'm not particularly encouraged that it took him to 27 to actually reach the majors, but I guess out of this group he's actually one of the better options. Yuck.
LIAM HENDRIKS (6.20 ERA, 1.69 WHIP, 5.49 FIP, 4.70 xFIP, .344 BABIP, xBABIP .354)
Hendriks' traditional numbers look far worse than the other guys, but he hasn't had the good luck Deduno, Walters, and Devries have and his advanced metrics put him right in line with everybody else here. That being said, I don't really hold out much hope for Hendriks unless he can figure out a breaking pitch. His fastball and change are right around league average, but both his curve and slider get absolutely pounded to the point where are those are the two of the three worst pitches on the team (along with Duensing's fastball). However, unlike guys like Devries and Walters, Hendriks is only 23 and as such is likely not a finished product. Where the older guys are likely locked in to "what you see is what you get" mode, Hendriks still has time to develop one of those breaking pitches (or something else). The complete game 3-hitter he tossed against Seattle flashed some of his potential and his minor league numbers have been outstanding (2.65 ERA and 1.06 WHIP in 5 seasons) so with Hendriks patience is probably the key. Hopefully he wins a spot in the rotation coming out of training camp next year which would be a clear sign he's continuing to improve. If he starts the season at AAA next year it's probably a sign we can give up on him as a starter. Although with the Twins' management in charge, maybe we actually can't get any useful info out of that.
So, to sum up:
Duensing: left-handed bullpen option
Deduno: could be a back of the rotation starter if he gets his walks under control
Walters: totally sucks
Devries: back of the rotation starter
Hendriks: most potential of the group, could develop into a middle of the rotation guy
Man. It's very possible the Twins' break camp with this rotation: Diamond, Devries, Deduno, Hendriks, and Walters. How many games would that team win in a season? 40? 50? I have no idea how they managed to paint themselves into this corner.
Help us, Kyle Gibson. You're our only hope.
I'm going to leave aside a few candidates, like Scott Baker (who, if he resigns here is certainly going to be the #1 guy), Anthony Swarzak (only made a handful of starts and is pretty clearly a bullpen arm at this point), the guys who pitched this year out of the pen but have some starting experience in their past (Jeff Manship, etc.), the minor league guys (Kyle Gibson, etc.), free agents (Derek Lowe, who is practically destined to become a Twin, etc.) and the guy I've never even heard of (Esmerling Valdez) and instead concentrate on the five guys who have already been given an extended audition this season (Sam Deduno, P.J. Walters, Cole Devries, Liam Hendriks, and Brian Duensing). A quick primer on some stats I'll be referencing:
ERA - duh
WHIP - also duh
FIP - Fielding Independent Pitching. Stat which measures a pitcher's effectiveness based on the things he can control (strikeouts, walks, home runs). Think of it as what a pitcher's ERA should be if all things (fielding, luck, ballpark) were equal across the league.
xFIP - Expected Fielding Independent Pitching - Same thing, but if you assume home runs are out of the pitcher's control and looks at it as if all pitchers allowed the same number of home runs per fly ball hit off them.
BABIP - Batting Average on Balls in Play. Exactly what it sounds like. An attempt to quantify a pitcher's bad luck. League average is around .300, so anything substantially higher or lower than that is usually an indicator of some good or bad luck for the pitcher.
xBABIP - Expected BABIP. Based off of line drives, ground balls, fly balls, and pop-ups allowed. Used to compare to BABIP because let's face it, a high BABIP could be because of bad luck or it could be because the pitcher is just throwing meat balls and getting laced all over the yard (*cough* Nick Blackburn *cough). If xBABIP and BABIP differ significantly it's a better indicator of luck than straight BABIP.
Got it, nerds? And we're off (stats as of 9/12 when I started this post).
BRIAN DUENSING (5.03 ERA, 1.43 WHIP, 4.05 FIP, 4.51 xFIP, .319 BABIP, xBABIP .315)
Duensing's the guy we're most familiar with given that he's appeared in (158) and started (61) more games than the other guys on this list combined (note: I didn't actually add this up, I'm assuming), and what you see is what you get: a soft-tossing lefty who supplements that by not being particularly crafty. He's been an effective reliever in his career (ERA 3.19) and pretty bad as a starter (ERA 4.57). This, in large part, is due to his complete ineptitude against right-handed batters. He has actually been very good against lefties in his career, and would be most effectively used as a late inning lefty-specialist guy and that's where he belongs. If Duensing is in the rotation for any significant length of time in 2013 the season is probably already a failure.
SAMUEL DEDUNO (3.55 ERA, 1.44 WHIP, 5.06 FIP, 4.65 xFIP, .257 BABIP, xBABIP .326)
An interesting case since he's a 28-year old rookie who never really flashed any significant potential until putting up a 2.14 ERA in 9 starts at Rochester this year, Deduno has shown some signs of brilliance but balanced it out by getting destroyed at times as well. I like the kid because he actually has shown some ability to strike people out, as evidenced by his putting up better than a K and inning in four different minor league stints throughout his career and in his six prior career major league appearances (all in relief). Of course, he balances that out by not being able to consistently throw strikes with a ridiculous 5.5 BB/9 and the fewest percentage of thrown strikes of any Twin still in the rotation (with the exception of this Esmerling guy) - although he also generates the most swings and misses. And it's not as if his control issues are anything new, he's struggled with them throughout his minor league career. Still, he shows some promise and if he can get the walks at least a little bit under or control (or get his K rate back up to his minor league numbers) he could end up being a passable #4 starter. Cautiously optimistic, but he has gotten significantly lucky on balls hit this year, so he has some serious potential to put up a +6 ERA.
P.J. WALTERS (6.05 ERA, 1.54 WHIP, 5.98 FIP, 4.62 xFIP, .302 BABIP, xBABIP .352)
Plenty of warning flags with Walters, starting with the fact that he's a 27-year old on his third team who has only once posted a sub-4.00 ERA above A ball in at least 7 starts. That's a really oddly written sentence but the point is he was traded after 5 years in the minors with the Cardinals and then the Blue Jays just plain old let him go before the Twins grabbed him off the trash heap and none of that speaks well for his future. He doesn't strike anybody out and walks too many guys to balance that out, and his best seasons in the minors were in A ball when he was pitching out of the pen. In retrospect, maybe the most amazing feat of the season was when he pitched that complete game 5-hitter against the White Sox all the way back in May in his third start making everyone think "Hey, maybe we have something here." Sadly, we do not. That was Walters season high in innings (9) and strikeouts (8), and only once would he allow fewer than five hits again and that was the game where he didn't get out of the first against Philly. If you can't tell, I am not a fan of him or his stupid name.
COLE DEVRIES (4.11 ERA, 1.22 WHIP, 4.90 FIP, 4.73 xFIP, .262 BABIP, xBABIP .330)
Devries has been fortunate to find a lot of the same good luck Deduno has (which is sad really considering both of their mediocre numbers), but a lot of nerd stats also say he's been the best starter other than Diamond (which is also kind of sad). I put Devries a step above Walters because he's at least actually shown some flashes of ability here and there and his K/BB ratio is a bit more palatable. Of course he doesn't actually strike many people out, but he doesn't walk many either which, combined with being from Minnesota, means the Twins are going to give him more chances than Blackburn to win a spot in the rotation. He's a soft-tosser for sure, but he does at least have four pitches, and one (slider) actually rates as statistically quite good (second best pitch of all the starters listed here on the team behind Deduno's slider which I'm pretty sure is actually a curve). His fastball is so-so and his curve and change get ripped pretty good, but it's his first season in the big league's so let's see. He also misses more bats than anybody other than Deduno, so that's promising. I'm not particularly encouraged that it took him to 27 to actually reach the majors, but I guess out of this group he's actually one of the better options. Yuck.
LIAM HENDRIKS (6.20 ERA, 1.69 WHIP, 5.49 FIP, 4.70 xFIP, .344 BABIP, xBABIP .354)
Hendriks' traditional numbers look far worse than the other guys, but he hasn't had the good luck Deduno, Walters, and Devries have and his advanced metrics put him right in line with everybody else here. That being said, I don't really hold out much hope for Hendriks unless he can figure out a breaking pitch. His fastball and change are right around league average, but both his curve and slider get absolutely pounded to the point where are those are the two of the three worst pitches on the team (along with Duensing's fastball). However, unlike guys like Devries and Walters, Hendriks is only 23 and as such is likely not a finished product. Where the older guys are likely locked in to "what you see is what you get" mode, Hendriks still has time to develop one of those breaking pitches (or something else). The complete game 3-hitter he tossed against Seattle flashed some of his potential and his minor league numbers have been outstanding (2.65 ERA and 1.06 WHIP in 5 seasons) so with Hendriks patience is probably the key. Hopefully he wins a spot in the rotation coming out of training camp next year which would be a clear sign he's continuing to improve. If he starts the season at AAA next year it's probably a sign we can give up on him as a starter. Although with the Twins' management in charge, maybe we actually can't get any useful info out of that.
So, to sum up:
Duensing: left-handed bullpen option
Deduno: could be a back of the rotation starter if he gets his walks under control
Walters: totally sucks
Devries: back of the rotation starter
Hendriks: most potential of the group, could develop into a middle of the rotation guy
Man. It's very possible the Twins' break camp with this rotation: Diamond, Devries, Deduno, Hendriks, and Walters. How many games would that team win in a season? 40? 50? I have no idea how they managed to paint themselves into this corner.
Help us, Kyle Gibson. You're our only hope.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Six Very Important Things this Morning 9.16.2010
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1. Well that should do it. The Twins won again last night, beating the Sox 9-3, which brings their division lead to 8 games with just 17 left to play. Their magic number is now 10, which essentially means it would take an epic collapse as well as a hell of a run by Chicago to keep the Twins out of the playoffs - something I haven't ruled out. Most impressive last night was Brian Duensing, who wasn't very sharp and that is precisely the reason he was so impressive. Throughout the game he seemed to always be on the verge of giving up the big inning, but kept getting key outs and bid double plays whenever he needed them. It was a very impressive display of "battling" for such a young pitcher with less than twenty career starts. There is no doubt in my mind he needs to be the third starter in any playoff series the Twins are in. When Baker, Slowey, or Blackburn are off, rarely do you see them still manage to go six innings and scatter nine hits the way he did, they generally get killed and don't see the fourth. Behind Mauer, Thome, Valencia, Pavano, and Liriano there's no doubt he's been the most valuable player this year, not only for what he's done since joining the rotation, but his stellar bullpen work earlier this year as well. Finishing sixth as an MVP might not sound that impressive, but did you expect him to be there?
2. How fast did everybody get to the waiver wire? Once again proving that you need to have waivers in your fantasy football league rather than some kind of crazy first-come, first-served style, Ryan Grant was announced to be out for the year on Tuesday, cementing Brandon Jackson as the waiver wire pickup who will win many fantasy leagues for people who drafted like crap. Also setting off a firestorm of whining from every Grant owner who didn't draft Jackson and then had to watch some dork with a bad team scoop him up in front of them when waiver claims were processed, assuring that said owner will be starting someone like Fred Jackson next week. To which I say: You are all nerds. But seriously, anything that hurts the Packers is a friend of mine, which is why Tony Mandarich is still one of my favorite players. The Incredible Bulk or Barry Sanders? Nice decision, Packer-jerks!
3. Mark Ingram is ready to run over your face. Last year's Heisman trophy winner, this year's favorite to win the Heisman, and the guaranteed #1 rookie pick in fantasy football next year was cleared to play after missing the first two weeks of the college season after having knee surgery. I know knee surgery is never something you want, particularly if you're a running back, but he's got an awful nice blend of speed and power, so even if he's 80% he's still going to be better than pretty much everybody, and even at 10% he'd be better than anybody the Gophers have trotted out there since Amir Pinnix left. I haven't decided if he's the next Curtis Martin or the next Ron Dayne at the NFL level, but luckily, I don't have to decide yet. Although I can guarantee you if Dawger gets him in our keeper league, he'll turn into the next Dayne. How's Darren McFadden working out for you, little guy?
4. Hard to believe he could be dirty. I don't believe it either, but it's possible John Calipari and Kentucky cheated in order to get Eric Bledsoe to qualify to attend Kentucky last season. You might remember it was looking iffy that he would get in, and you might also remember his name surfaced earlier this offseason with an investigation into whether or not he and/or his family received money while he was being recruited. This time, the issues arise from his high school transcript which not only shows that, after never receiving higher than a C in his high school career, he received an A or a B in seven of his ten classes senior year, but also that he took Algebra 3 before Algebra 2. And this isn't like taking History of World War II before History of World War I, this would be liking taking a class on spelling before you learned the alphabet. Hard to believe this of Calipari. This reminds me of when I saw Star Wars Episode III and, spoiler alert, suddenly Anakin turns to the dark side at the end. Talk about a shocker!
5. Speaking of dirty coaches, how about the guy in Orange? Tennessee coach Bruce Pearl, noted tattle tail, is now in trouble for lying to the NCAA about possible violations and obviously, those same violations which include phone calls that shouldn't have been made and recruit visits that may have been violations. Right now it sounds like the violations wouldn't be too major, the school is sticking behind Pearl, and he hasn't lost any players or recruits. Which, coincidentally, is how it started for Kelvin Sampson at Indiana when the shit started coming down as well, and we know how that worked out - they still haven't recovered. So is this the end for Bruce Pearl and Tennessee basketball? I don't really care, because this kind of stuff doesn't really bother me, but I think Pearl is kind of a huge douche so seeing him crying at his press conference while he apologized was pretty neat.
6. In case you hadn't noticed, these guys can't lose. Again. The Colorado Rockies, a longshot to make the playoffs not that long ago, have gotten hot in September and suddenly right in the thick of the division race. Yes, again. No, this isn't last year. Or that other year. This is a new thing. They have won 11 of 13, including a 10-game win streak, and are just 2.5 back of San Diego (and 2.5 back of the wildcard). Yes, again. This year. I consider the Rockies my NL club, and with the Twins my AL team, I might as well not even watch the first few months each year. Neither of these teams ever bothers to get going until the last two months anyway. Besides them just being my favorite NL team I want them to win because Rocktober is just plain fun to say.
And I also want to mention that Troy Tulowitzki has hit 11 home runs in his last 13 games because jesus.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Weekend Review - 8/16/2010
Seriously folks, if the crowd can walk in it, it's not a bunker.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Brian Duensing. I don't think anyone is exactly shocked or anything since Duensing has looked like a very good pitcher since he was called up last year, but it was awfully nice to see him put up a 3-hit shutout so soon after joining the rotation. I wouldn't expect this out of him regularly (his BABIP and strand rate are pretty much unsustainable), but he's shown himself to be a good middle-of-the-rotation type who throws strikes and induced groundballs - so he's your typical Twins pitcher. He'll get knocked around some, and he doesn't miss a ton of bats, but he's much better than Nick Blackburn, even if that isn't really saying much. So now they can just cut Blackie - except, of course, for the $13 million they owe him over the next three years. Awesome contract.
2. Kevin Slowey. I suppose if I'm going to highlight Duensing here I should throw some props at Slowey as well since he just went out and threw 7 innings of no-hit ball on Sunday. I guess I'm just much more impressed with Duensing's outing because we've seen this brilliance from Slowey before, and he can't ever sustain it - maybe Duensing can. And I'm fine with Slowey getting pulled after 7 innings even though he had a no-hitter going. It was a 1-0 game, and at this point in the pennant race winning the game is more important than getting Slowey some personal glory. Additionally, he was over 100 pitches already and they just had to skip a start of his due to a sore elbow, no sense in risking re-injury. I disagree with just about every game decision Gardy makes, but I'm with him on this one.
3. The PGA Championship. Now that was one fantastic tournament. Sure, there were parts that sucked pretty bad: Nick Watney's collapse (more on this later), Dustin Johnson's ridiculous penalty that knocked him out of the playoff, Bubba Watson's dumb decision that lost him in the playoff, and the fact that Martin Kaymer won despite a bogey on the last hole. Overall though, this was great. There were 10-20 different golfers that could have ended up winning on Sunday with just a couple of different shots so there was drama all the way to the end, and any tournament that ends up with a playoff is a good one. Perhaps the best was the way the course played (outside of sand traps that aren't sand traps, right Dustin?). There were opportunities to make shots and grab birdies, but there were also plenty of ways you could screw yourself with a poor shot or poor decision. Unlike some of the other majors that are set up where par is a major achievement, this course was set up with the perfect combination of risk/reward. Just a fantastic tournament and a great, great venue. Hard to believe it was in that shithole of a state, Wisconsin.
4. R.A. Dickey. You ready for this one? R.A. Dickey threw a 1-hit shutout on Friday. Yes, R.A. Dickey. And not against some crap team, but against the Phillies. You want to know why he's good all of a sudden? He's basically given up on everything else and is only throwing knuckleballs. He used to throw the knuckler about 2/3rds of the time, but this year he's thrown it 83.7%. He's also given up on throwing a curve, slider, or change, because his fastball makes up the 16.3% of his pitches. The results of this change have been an increase in ground balls and fewer of the fly balls going over the fence, mainly due to getting batters to chase more pitches out of the zone. So, yeah. That'll do it.
5. Cole Aldrich. My sources tell me that Cole was in town this weekend. My same sources also tell me he's a pretty nice guy.
WHO SUCKED
1. This Justin Morneau situation. I won't even say Justin Morneau sucks any more, just that this whole situation sucks. Supposedly he's getting better, but still can't make it through an entire day without showing symptoms, and as such was unable to travel with the team to Chicago because apparently airplane travel makes people who have had recent concussion's heads explode like that dude in scanners. Instead, he stayed home and didn't get better, and is still unable to play. In fact, he's unable to play so hard that there is officially no longer a time table for his return, which is causing all kinds of speculation that he won't be back this year. Which would suck pretty bad. This team might win the division without him, but they aren't going any farther. So if he can make it through the day I say the get him in the lineup. If he's walking around at home after the game and keeps bumping into things because he's all dizzy, well, I'm sure he can afford to replace whatever knick-knacks and porcelain dolls he breaks. The team needs his bat, because he's not a pitch man.
2. Nick Watney. As I mentioned above, Nick Watney had a pretty epic collapse on Sunday. After shooting the first three rounds all in the 60s, and being the only player to do so, Watney went into the final round with a 3 shot lead, only to double bogey the first hole to cough that up, tripled seven, followed that up with back to back bogeys, and then after a par tossed up another double, this time on a par 5. Suffice it to say, it wasn't a good round. That sucks too, because Watney has been one of my favorites and the reason is he seems to always be cool, always keep it together no matter what, so I was more that a bit surprised he went off the deep end here and ended up shooting an 81 to end up in 18th place. I guess he's like every other golfer (other than Tiger and Louis Oosthuizen) and can't handle the pressure of being the leader after 54 holes. Sucks, man.
3. Memphis basketball. Do you guys remember a few weeks ago when I talked about how Will Barton, Memphis's #1 recruit for this year and #11 on the Rivals150, wasn't going to be playing this year due to academic issues? Well it seems that isn't the only issue the Tigers are going to have to deal with this year. It also turns out that neither Chris Crawford (#72 Rivals) nor fellow freshman Hippolyte Tsafack have been cleared by the NCAA to play yet. Finally, it turns out Jelan Kendrick (#15) didn't travel with the team on their Bahamas trip this weekend, dealing with "personal issues" and their are now rumors that he might not rejoin the team. So Memphis had one of the best recruiting classes this year, but nobody can play. I guess Pastner didn't learn enough tricks from Coach Cal. Of course, they still have Joe Jackson (#18) and Tarik Black (#54), so I think they'll be just fine. Unfortunately.
4. Tim Lincecum. It's not like he's been awful this whole season, and his numbers are ok overall (2nd in strike outs, 3.62 ERA) but after dominating to start the year he is fading and fading hard, and was knocked out in the fourth inning Sunday against the Padres. And this follows up his last start when he didn't make it out of the fifth. I'm not exactly sure what's going on, but this Giant team is winning with their pitching, and even though Matt Cain, Jonathan Sanchez, and Madison Bumgarner are all very good, Lincecum is obviously the most important member of that staff, and they aren't going anywhere if he doesn't get it together. This could just be a blip, but he's lost a full MPH off his fastball from last year and is 3 off from 2 years ago, and his curveball seems to have lost some of its effectiveness. Stay tuned. Or don't, it's just the stupid NL after all.
5. J.J. Putz. When your closer is Bobby Jenks you're pretty much screwed. And since Jenks has been little more than a fat batting-practice pitcher they turned to J.J. Putz. Putz had been lights out as a set-up guy all year, and was a dynamite closer a few years ago when he was with Seattle. Seems like it would make sense that he'd be pretty good closer for the Sox, right? Wrong. First on Saturday night he came into the game against Detroit in the top of the ninth with the Sox up 2-1, gave up a 2-run homer to Alex Avila, and walked away with the loss. Then, Sunday afternoon, he came into the game in the top of the 8th, the Sox leading 7-6. A single, triple, and error by Andruw Jones later and the Sox were down 9-7 and on their way to their sixth lost in their last 8 games. Awesome.
Also Happy Birthday to The Bear. Way to be born, douchebag!
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Brian Duensing. I don't think anyone is exactly shocked or anything since Duensing has looked like a very good pitcher since he was called up last year, but it was awfully nice to see him put up a 3-hit shutout so soon after joining the rotation. I wouldn't expect this out of him regularly (his BABIP and strand rate are pretty much unsustainable), but he's shown himself to be a good middle-of-the-rotation type who throws strikes and induced groundballs - so he's your typical Twins pitcher. He'll get knocked around some, and he doesn't miss a ton of bats, but he's much better than Nick Blackburn, even if that isn't really saying much. So now they can just cut Blackie - except, of course, for the $13 million they owe him over the next three years. Awesome contract.
2. Kevin Slowey. I suppose if I'm going to highlight Duensing here I should throw some props at Slowey as well since he just went out and threw 7 innings of no-hit ball on Sunday. I guess I'm just much more impressed with Duensing's outing because we've seen this brilliance from Slowey before, and he can't ever sustain it - maybe Duensing can. And I'm fine with Slowey getting pulled after 7 innings even though he had a no-hitter going. It was a 1-0 game, and at this point in the pennant race winning the game is more important than getting Slowey some personal glory. Additionally, he was over 100 pitches already and they just had to skip a start of his due to a sore elbow, no sense in risking re-injury. I disagree with just about every game decision Gardy makes, but I'm with him on this one.
3. The PGA Championship. Now that was one fantastic tournament. Sure, there were parts that sucked pretty bad: Nick Watney's collapse (more on this later), Dustin Johnson's ridiculous penalty that knocked him out of the playoff, Bubba Watson's dumb decision that lost him in the playoff, and the fact that Martin Kaymer won despite a bogey on the last hole. Overall though, this was great. There were 10-20 different golfers that could have ended up winning on Sunday with just a couple of different shots so there was drama all the way to the end, and any tournament that ends up with a playoff is a good one. Perhaps the best was the way the course played (outside of sand traps that aren't sand traps, right Dustin?). There were opportunities to make shots and grab birdies, but there were also plenty of ways you could screw yourself with a poor shot or poor decision. Unlike some of the other majors that are set up where par is a major achievement, this course was set up with the perfect combination of risk/reward. Just a fantastic tournament and a great, great venue. Hard to believe it was in that shithole of a state, Wisconsin.
4. R.A. Dickey. You ready for this one? R.A. Dickey threw a 1-hit shutout on Friday. Yes, R.A. Dickey. And not against some crap team, but against the Phillies. You want to know why he's good all of a sudden? He's basically given up on everything else and is only throwing knuckleballs. He used to throw the knuckler about 2/3rds of the time, but this year he's thrown it 83.7%. He's also given up on throwing a curve, slider, or change, because his fastball makes up the 16.3% of his pitches. The results of this change have been an increase in ground balls and fewer of the fly balls going over the fence, mainly due to getting batters to chase more pitches out of the zone. So, yeah. That'll do it.
5. Cole Aldrich. My sources tell me that Cole was in town this weekend. My same sources also tell me he's a pretty nice guy.
WHO SUCKED
1. This Justin Morneau situation. I won't even say Justin Morneau sucks any more, just that this whole situation sucks. Supposedly he's getting better, but still can't make it through an entire day without showing symptoms, and as such was unable to travel with the team to Chicago because apparently airplane travel makes people who have had recent concussion's heads explode like that dude in scanners. Instead, he stayed home and didn't get better, and is still unable to play. In fact, he's unable to play so hard that there is officially no longer a time table for his return, which is causing all kinds of speculation that he won't be back this year. Which would suck pretty bad. This team might win the division without him, but they aren't going any farther. So if he can make it through the day I say the get him in the lineup. If he's walking around at home after the game and keeps bumping into things because he's all dizzy, well, I'm sure he can afford to replace whatever knick-knacks and porcelain dolls he breaks. The team needs his bat, because he's not a pitch man.
2. Nick Watney. As I mentioned above, Nick Watney had a pretty epic collapse on Sunday. After shooting the first three rounds all in the 60s, and being the only player to do so, Watney went into the final round with a 3 shot lead, only to double bogey the first hole to cough that up, tripled seven, followed that up with back to back bogeys, and then after a par tossed up another double, this time on a par 5. Suffice it to say, it wasn't a good round. That sucks too, because Watney has been one of my favorites and the reason is he seems to always be cool, always keep it together no matter what, so I was more that a bit surprised he went off the deep end here and ended up shooting an 81 to end up in 18th place. I guess he's like every other golfer (other than Tiger and Louis Oosthuizen) and can't handle the pressure of being the leader after 54 holes. Sucks, man.
3. Memphis basketball. Do you guys remember a few weeks ago when I talked about how Will Barton, Memphis's #1 recruit for this year and #11 on the Rivals150, wasn't going to be playing this year due to academic issues? Well it seems that isn't the only issue the Tigers are going to have to deal with this year. It also turns out that neither Chris Crawford (#72 Rivals) nor fellow freshman Hippolyte Tsafack have been cleared by the NCAA to play yet. Finally, it turns out Jelan Kendrick (#15) didn't travel with the team on their Bahamas trip this weekend, dealing with "personal issues" and their are now rumors that he might not rejoin the team. So Memphis had one of the best recruiting classes this year, but nobody can play. I guess Pastner didn't learn enough tricks from Coach Cal. Of course, they still have Joe Jackson (#18) and Tarik Black (#54), so I think they'll be just fine. Unfortunately.
4. Tim Lincecum. It's not like he's been awful this whole season, and his numbers are ok overall (2nd in strike outs, 3.62 ERA) but after dominating to start the year he is fading and fading hard, and was knocked out in the fourth inning Sunday against the Padres. And this follows up his last start when he didn't make it out of the fifth. I'm not exactly sure what's going on, but this Giant team is winning with their pitching, and even though Matt Cain, Jonathan Sanchez, and Madison Bumgarner are all very good, Lincecum is obviously the most important member of that staff, and they aren't going anywhere if he doesn't get it together. This could just be a blip, but he's lost a full MPH off his fastball from last year and is 3 off from 2 years ago, and his curveball seems to have lost some of its effectiveness. Stay tuned. Or don't, it's just the stupid NL after all.
5. J.J. Putz. When your closer is Bobby Jenks you're pretty much screwed. And since Jenks has been little more than a fat batting-practice pitcher they turned to J.J. Putz. Putz had been lights out as a set-up guy all year, and was a dynamite closer a few years ago when he was with Seattle. Seems like it would make sense that he'd be pretty good closer for the Sox, right? Wrong. First on Saturday night he came into the game against Detroit in the top of the ninth with the Sox up 2-1, gave up a 2-run homer to Alex Avila, and walked away with the loss. Then, Sunday afternoon, he came into the game in the top of the 8th, the Sox leading 7-6. A single, triple, and error by Andruw Jones later and the Sox were down 9-7 and on their way to their sixth lost in their last 8 games. Awesome.
Also Happy Birthday to The Bear. Way to be born, douchebag!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Detroit City is Garbage
I made sure to get all my shit done today in the cesspool that is Detroit so I could pick up some beers, load 'em up with ice and put them in the sink, and watch the Tigers vs. Twins nightcap. Then I get to my room, and guess what? This gay hotel doesn't carry Fox Sports Detroit, which means no dice on the game. They have ESPN on here twice, but no FS. Sweet. Luckily the hotel bar does, and that's where I am right now, drinking $5.50 16oz Miller Lites, which I luckily don't have to pay for. They also claim they have wireless down here, but I can't seem to figure out how to connect.
- We are in the bottom of the third right now, and it's 1-0 Tigers which has already been rubbed in my face by my waitress. I must have been staring rather intently at the one tv the game is on down here, because she was asked if I was rooting for Detroit or Minnesota. After it was 1-0, she came over and said, "My team is winning, my team is winning" and then asked, "whoever wins this game plays the Yankees this weekend, right?" Jesus lady. Braggy fans are bad enough, but at least try to have a clue. Tip amount......dropping.
- Ok, I now figured it out and I'm logged in, although I'm not sure how much good that does me. I now just need to figure out an outlet. My computer has been on since I left Minnesota, on account of I can't turn it off because when we were trying to watch True Blood Season 2 online I somehow downloaded like 20 viruses, most of which I've eliminated but one pesky one keeps hanging on and makes me have to reboot about 10 times to get my computer to restart. It's pretty awesome.
- Now 3-0. Maybe I won't have to worry about power after all. Looking like a short night. Thanks Dunce-ing. Ha. I just made that up.
- Seriously, 3-0? And Verlander looks as sharp as I've seen him, which of course, I predicted early.
- Kubel with a hit, of course. Now if Cuddyer can just stay hot and not look like the fool that he did in his last at bat. Seriously, the need to get a run here soon.
- Nope, and we're scoreless through four. Well, I mean the Twins are, obviously not the Tigers who are treating Duesning like Liriano. Verlander is at 55 pitches (40 strikes, jesus) so he should peter out just in time for Fernando Rodney to shut the door. Awesome.
- In non-related news, Chuckie Knoblauch is in trouble for choking his common-law wife, which seems about right for a hick. Tough break for her. If he had just tried throwing things at her head she would have been golden.
- Dear lord is this guy next to me a loud eater. Take a break tubby, the food will still be waiting for you in a few minutes.
- Duensing gives up a double and a single that inning, but manages to pitch his way out of it and thank god since Gardy had Keppel warming up. They're still playing with fire here, need to get something going. I'd also like to mention that the squeeze play in Game 1 might have been one of the worst decisions of all time. I didn't get to see it or anything, since I was on a god damn plane, but I stand by my opinion. Between that and taking Kubel out for a pinch runner, sometimes I think he tries to lose.
- Verlander with another dominant inning, including two strikeouts on some of the best pitching I've seen since Santana was in town. Just filthy. This guy needs a nickname. Let me think on it. Of course, my little waitress friend had to point out it was still three nothing. And she keeps doing this thing where she rubs her shoulder on mine while kind of moving up and down. It's very weird. I wouldn't mind if she wasn't like, 70. I'm going to start pretending she's hot. Otherwise she's going to start noticing that I shudder every time she comes near me.
- Duensing with a leadoff walk to Raburn, who moves up to third on a couple of outs and then they intentionally walk Cabrera, which probably ranks as the first smart strategic decision Gardy has ever made. No we have Thames, and I'm pretty sure this is either going to be a home run or a strikeout. I'm rooting for the strikeout.
- Ok, a walk. No problem, nothing hurt. Inge is up, and he sucks. Oh crap. Nevermind, Gardy is going with Keppel. I think my heart just broke.
- First pitch, 2-run single. Let's go ahead and put this one in the books folks. I'd recommend Gardy just leave Keppel out there for the rest of the game, save the bullpen for the next two games. Pavano vs. Bodine and Baker vs. Robertson. Twins have the advantage in both games. This was the game the Twins were most likely to lose, so I'm not going to quite wave the white flag on the season just yet. Win the next two and it's tied, with the Twinks facing the Royals and the Tigers going against the Sox. Yes, the Royals are pitching Greinke in a game, but I just read that Ozzie shuffled the rotation and now Peavy will pitch one of the games against Detroit. He gave some stupid reason, but you know he's trying to spoiler, and god bless you for that Ozzie Guillen. God bless you. I'm sorry I called you gay.
- Wow, a hit. And a double even. Denard Span breaks the streak of I think 34 consecutive outs by Verlander (29 Ks). Don't worry, this won't go anywhere. Verlander is still looking like a curve ball pitcher while the Twins look like Jesus Christ.
- Cabrera knocks him in, but I'm still not excited. Also just because he's played well these two games that's no reason to sign him for three years at $5 million per. Settle down, Dawger and PA.
- Mauer doubles, runners on 2nd and 3rd with one out and the best hitter in the AL up. Still not confident.
- Kubel hit it well, but not well enough. Gets a run home on a sac fly, still a runner on for Cuddy. If they can get it to 5-3 going into the bottom of the sixth I'll feel pretty good. Also Gardy can take Keppel out at any time. Verlander up to 95 pitches.
- Cuddy swings right through a fastball, after changing his apparently irrestible candy of a down and away breaking pitch. That puts Verlander at 100 pitches. I'll feel much better if they get to the pen, but of course, Keppel has to hold the lead at three - not bloody likely.
- Great catch by Mauer in foul ground, or in the stands, actually. Looks like a fan got a piece of it, but they called the out. I'm not 100% sure on the rule there, but I don't think that should be an out. I'll take it though. The Detroit fans at the table next to me (chubs left, probably to go order room service and porn) are livid right now. Dudes. Chill. You're winning. Spaz out tomorrow after Pavano tosses a no-no.
- You're probably wondering what I had for dinner tonight. Well, it was pretty non-descript. We were in the air through lunch so had an early dinner at 4:30 at Buffalo Wild Wings. I went with the Desert Heat, their new dry rub. It's excellent. I love a good dry rubbed wing. Usually most places with a rub offer cajun, which 80% of the time just means "really salty" - although Sensor's has excellent cajun wings and so does Boston's - but this is a really unique spice. It's got a hint of sweet and then a good chile pepper taste. Highly recommended. Keppel has gotten two outs and given up two hits. Now we are getting Mahay. Clearly Gardy has punted this game.
- Mahay gets out of it. Time to shine boys, time to shine. *cue Eminem*
- Or just go down as the easiest inning of all-time. Brutal when Gomez has the best at-bat of the inning.
- Snacks just texted me, "If Mauer is a 1B and Cabrera is a catcher, Cabrera is the MVP, right?" So let's look because it's difficult to watch Crain pitch.
Mauer: .368/.442/.598 with 28 homers and 92 rbi
Cabrera: .329/.399/.550 with 32 homers and 100 rbi
Jesus Snacks, I thought you were smarter than this. Mauer's numbers kick the hell out of Cabrera's. Also he leads the league in average, on-base, and slugging. HE LEADS THE LEAGUE IN AVERAGE, ON-BASE, and SLUGGING. Mauer could play DH and Cabrera could be Ozzie Smith at short and this still should go to Mauer. Wow. This is pretty embarrassing. Kind of wish I hadn't started this blog entry right now.
- Crain gives up no runs despite throwing more balls than strikes. Good work.
- According to baseball reference, where we sponsor the Mo Sanford page, Joe Mauer's OPS+ this year is 181, while Cabrera is at 145. That's the same as Barry Bonds career vs. Vladimir Guerrero. Think about it.
- Back to back singles with one out by Span and Cabrera, Mauer up and Verlander still in at 122 pitches. This is quite the showdown right here.
- RBI ground out. Pretty anti-climactic. Gets them to within a Kubel swing of a tie game though.
- Big RBI double by the best hitter in baseball. There is now a permanent ban on Kubel-bashing on this blog. You dumb people keep trying to tear him down, and he keeps showing how he's the next Lou Gehrig. Tying run on second with two outs and the Twin Cities' latest hero in Cuddybear up at the plate. Still not excited.
- Cuddy grounds out like a girl, reaching for yet another breaking pitch outside the zone. 5-4 as we head to the bottom of the 8th. The good news is that Fernando Rodney is maybe the worst 35 save pitcher in history. Just keep it to one run.
- Guerrier gives up a leadoff homer in the 8th to Granderson. Great. Waitress comes over to tell me she just loves Granderson because he has such a cute face. Tip = 0%.
- Down 2, heading to the top of the ninth with suckface Rodney coming on. *cue Eminem again*
- This city is really weird by the way. I'm not going to bash it - yet - but I'll spend a lot more time down here tomorrow so I'm sure that's to come. So far, it's looking very much like a have/have not situation, with a lot of really seedy, run down looking bars right next to pretty high end looking restaurants. I don't think it knows what it's identity is. And the cars are weird too. For being mo-town, like the motor city, there are an inordinate amount of crappy cars and cars with damage that are still tooling around. I'm not a car guy by any means, you pretty much have to be driving the ferrari from Ferris Bueller's Day Off for me to notice, but even I picked up on the multitude of shitty cars here. Weird. It's like if nobody here could play hockey.
- Delmon lead off infield hit. He's just so fleet of foot. Willie Mays Hayes like, you could say.
- Morales strikes out on a pitch at his eyes, and we're left with Tolbert and Punto. Confidence is high.
- Punto with a double over Granderson's head? I have no idea how that happens. Must have been a great pitch. That was like when Katie Holmes took her shirt off in The Gift, completely unexpected and completely awesome. All up to Span here. Please, just please. Come on.
- Nope, lazy fly out. Like I said, that's ok. This was the game they couldn't really expect to win. Now they need to get the next two, no way around it. I'll be in attendance tomorrow, so hopefully I have something to cheer about and get beat down by Detroitians who are angry at life because of the cities crappy economy.
-70 year old super hot waitress just came over and said, "well they still have the doubleheader tomorrow." Ugh. Seems like a good way to end the night.
- We are in the bottom of the third right now, and it's 1-0 Tigers which has already been rubbed in my face by my waitress. I must have been staring rather intently at the one tv the game is on down here, because she was asked if I was rooting for Detroit or Minnesota. After it was 1-0, she came over and said, "My team is winning, my team is winning" and then asked, "whoever wins this game plays the Yankees this weekend, right?" Jesus lady. Braggy fans are bad enough, but at least try to have a clue. Tip amount......dropping.
- Ok, I now figured it out and I'm logged in, although I'm not sure how much good that does me. I now just need to figure out an outlet. My computer has been on since I left Minnesota, on account of I can't turn it off because when we were trying to watch True Blood Season 2 online I somehow downloaded like 20 viruses, most of which I've eliminated but one pesky one keeps hanging on and makes me have to reboot about 10 times to get my computer to restart. It's pretty awesome.
- Now 3-0. Maybe I won't have to worry about power after all. Looking like a short night. Thanks Dunce-ing. Ha. I just made that up.
- Seriously, 3-0? And Verlander looks as sharp as I've seen him, which of course, I predicted early.
- Kubel with a hit, of course. Now if Cuddyer can just stay hot and not look like the fool that he did in his last at bat. Seriously, the need to get a run here soon.
- Nope, and we're scoreless through four. Well, I mean the Twins are, obviously not the Tigers who are treating Duesning like Liriano. Verlander is at 55 pitches (40 strikes, jesus) so he should peter out just in time for Fernando Rodney to shut the door. Awesome.
- In non-related news, Chuckie Knoblauch is in trouble for choking his common-law wife, which seems about right for a hick. Tough break for her. If he had just tried throwing things at her head she would have been golden.
- Dear lord is this guy next to me a loud eater. Take a break tubby, the food will still be waiting for you in a few minutes.
- Duensing gives up a double and a single that inning, but manages to pitch his way out of it and thank god since Gardy had Keppel warming up. They're still playing with fire here, need to get something going. I'd also like to mention that the squeeze play in Game 1 might have been one of the worst decisions of all time. I didn't get to see it or anything, since I was on a god damn plane, but I stand by my opinion. Between that and taking Kubel out for a pinch runner, sometimes I think he tries to lose.
- Verlander with another dominant inning, including two strikeouts on some of the best pitching I've seen since Santana was in town. Just filthy. This guy needs a nickname. Let me think on it. Of course, my little waitress friend had to point out it was still three nothing. And she keeps doing this thing where she rubs her shoulder on mine while kind of moving up and down. It's very weird. I wouldn't mind if she wasn't like, 70. I'm going to start pretending she's hot. Otherwise she's going to start noticing that I shudder every time she comes near me.
- Duensing with a leadoff walk to Raburn, who moves up to third on a couple of outs and then they intentionally walk Cabrera, which probably ranks as the first smart strategic decision Gardy has ever made. No we have Thames, and I'm pretty sure this is either going to be a home run or a strikeout. I'm rooting for the strikeout.
- Ok, a walk. No problem, nothing hurt. Inge is up, and he sucks. Oh crap. Nevermind, Gardy is going with Keppel. I think my heart just broke.
- First pitch, 2-run single. Let's go ahead and put this one in the books folks. I'd recommend Gardy just leave Keppel out there for the rest of the game, save the bullpen for the next two games. Pavano vs. Bodine and Baker vs. Robertson. Twins have the advantage in both games. This was the game the Twins were most likely to lose, so I'm not going to quite wave the white flag on the season just yet. Win the next two and it's tied, with the Twinks facing the Royals and the Tigers going against the Sox. Yes, the Royals are pitching Greinke in a game, but I just read that Ozzie shuffled the rotation and now Peavy will pitch one of the games against Detroit. He gave some stupid reason, but you know he's trying to spoiler, and god bless you for that Ozzie Guillen. God bless you. I'm sorry I called you gay.
- Wow, a hit. And a double even. Denard Span breaks the streak of I think 34 consecutive outs by Verlander (29 Ks). Don't worry, this won't go anywhere. Verlander is still looking like a curve ball pitcher while the Twins look like Jesus Christ.
- Cabrera knocks him in, but I'm still not excited. Also just because he's played well these two games that's no reason to sign him for three years at $5 million per. Settle down, Dawger and PA.
- Mauer doubles, runners on 2nd and 3rd with one out and the best hitter in the AL up. Still not confident.
- Kubel hit it well, but not well enough. Gets a run home on a sac fly, still a runner on for Cuddy. If they can get it to 5-3 going into the bottom of the sixth I'll feel pretty good. Also Gardy can take Keppel out at any time. Verlander up to 95 pitches.
- Cuddy swings right through a fastball, after changing his apparently irrestible candy of a down and away breaking pitch. That puts Verlander at 100 pitches. I'll feel much better if they get to the pen, but of course, Keppel has to hold the lead at three - not bloody likely.
- Great catch by Mauer in foul ground, or in the stands, actually. Looks like a fan got a piece of it, but they called the out. I'm not 100% sure on the rule there, but I don't think that should be an out. I'll take it though. The Detroit fans at the table next to me (chubs left, probably to go order room service and porn) are livid right now. Dudes. Chill. You're winning. Spaz out tomorrow after Pavano tosses a no-no.
- You're probably wondering what I had for dinner tonight. Well, it was pretty non-descript. We were in the air through lunch so had an early dinner at 4:30 at Buffalo Wild Wings. I went with the Desert Heat, their new dry rub. It's excellent. I love a good dry rubbed wing. Usually most places with a rub offer cajun, which 80% of the time just means "really salty" - although Sensor's has excellent cajun wings and so does Boston's - but this is a really unique spice. It's got a hint of sweet and then a good chile pepper taste. Highly recommended. Keppel has gotten two outs and given up two hits. Now we are getting Mahay. Clearly Gardy has punted this game.
- Mahay gets out of it. Time to shine boys, time to shine. *cue Eminem*
- Or just go down as the easiest inning of all-time. Brutal when Gomez has the best at-bat of the inning.
- Snacks just texted me, "If Mauer is a 1B and Cabrera is a catcher, Cabrera is the MVP, right?" So let's look because it's difficult to watch Crain pitch.
Mauer: .368/.442/.598 with 28 homers and 92 rbi
Cabrera: .329/.399/.550 with 32 homers and 100 rbi
Jesus Snacks, I thought you were smarter than this. Mauer's numbers kick the hell out of Cabrera's. Also he leads the league in average, on-base, and slugging. HE LEADS THE LEAGUE IN AVERAGE, ON-BASE, and SLUGGING. Mauer could play DH and Cabrera could be Ozzie Smith at short and this still should go to Mauer. Wow. This is pretty embarrassing. Kind of wish I hadn't started this blog entry right now.
- Crain gives up no runs despite throwing more balls than strikes. Good work.
- According to baseball reference, where we sponsor the Mo Sanford page, Joe Mauer's OPS+ this year is 181, while Cabrera is at 145. That's the same as Barry Bonds career vs. Vladimir Guerrero. Think about it.
- Back to back singles with one out by Span and Cabrera, Mauer up and Verlander still in at 122 pitches. This is quite the showdown right here.
- RBI ground out. Pretty anti-climactic. Gets them to within a Kubel swing of a tie game though.
- Big RBI double by the best hitter in baseball. There is now a permanent ban on Kubel-bashing on this blog. You dumb people keep trying to tear him down, and he keeps showing how he's the next Lou Gehrig. Tying run on second with two outs and the Twin Cities' latest hero in Cuddybear up at the plate. Still not excited.
- Cuddy grounds out like a girl, reaching for yet another breaking pitch outside the zone. 5-4 as we head to the bottom of the 8th. The good news is that Fernando Rodney is maybe the worst 35 save pitcher in history. Just keep it to one run.
- Guerrier gives up a leadoff homer in the 8th to Granderson. Great. Waitress comes over to tell me she just loves Granderson because he has such a cute face. Tip = 0%.
- Down 2, heading to the top of the ninth with suckface Rodney coming on. *cue Eminem again*
- This city is really weird by the way. I'm not going to bash it - yet - but I'll spend a lot more time down here tomorrow so I'm sure that's to come. So far, it's looking very much like a have/have not situation, with a lot of really seedy, run down looking bars right next to pretty high end looking restaurants. I don't think it knows what it's identity is. And the cars are weird too. For being mo-town, like the motor city, there are an inordinate amount of crappy cars and cars with damage that are still tooling around. I'm not a car guy by any means, you pretty much have to be driving the ferrari from Ferris Bueller's Day Off for me to notice, but even I picked up on the multitude of shitty cars here. Weird. It's like if nobody here could play hockey.
- Delmon lead off infield hit. He's just so fleet of foot. Willie Mays Hayes like, you could say.
- Morales strikes out on a pitch at his eyes, and we're left with Tolbert and Punto. Confidence is high.
- Punto with a double over Granderson's head? I have no idea how that happens. Must have been a great pitch. That was like when Katie Holmes took her shirt off in The Gift, completely unexpected and completely awesome. All up to Span here. Please, just please. Come on.
- Nope, lazy fly out. Like I said, that's ok. This was the game they couldn't really expect to win. Now they need to get the next two, no way around it. I'll be in attendance tomorrow, so hopefully I have something to cheer about and get beat down by Detroitians who are angry at life because of the cities crappy economy.
-
Monday, September 14, 2009
Weekend Review - 9/14/2009
This was a really good weekend. Gopher football, NFL season starts, Twins are still playing, and the golf tournaments still matter and aren't the weird World Series of Golf crap and other made for TV events. Other than college basketball season and specifically March Madness this might be my favorite time of the year. If only we could get some nice, crisp fall weather instead of this sweltering heat. Anyway, let's get on with it.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Michigan Football. It's nice to have a chance to write something positive about a Big Ten team, and Notre Dame is full of a bunch of queers, so it's great to see Michigan knock of the Irish 38-34 to break into the top 25. There wasn't a whole lot of defense in the game, and it would have been a lot of fun to watch if the stupid people at the stupid bar would have been able to figure out how to change their satellite to a local channel. Seriously, I thought all that local channels business was straightened out in like, 1999. I know that everyone I know with satellite has their local channels as part of their regular package, so there is no complicated switching of satellite feeds or anything. And they didn't even know how to do it. Yet they advertised drink specials during Vikings' games, which are on local television stations. I should have gone back during the Vikes game to see if they had that crap figured out yet. Arg. Oh, and your friend Micheal Floyd caught 7 balls for 131 yards and a score. It seems he's pretty good. Like the opposite of that stupid bar.
2. Adrian Peterson. It is just sick how good this guy is. Just another how hum day at the office, compiling 180 rushing yards and 3 scores. It's just so fun to watch him. He has the power to barrel right through people, the quickness to make them miss, and the speed to run away from them. Favre and Harvin both looked good yesterday too. Harvin is going to be a handful, running and catching. He has a world of talent (second only to Hakeem Nicks of the receivers in ths class). It's clear that Favre's lack of practice has had an effect on his chemistry with the wideouts, since a couple times he threw to an empty area because the receiver went somewhere else, but that can still happen even with a full practice schedule (see Brady Quinn's interception) and should get better with time. If Favre can contain himself and play just like that all year, there's no reason this isn't a Super Bowl team.
3. Drew Brees. Talk about having your way with someone, Brees violated the Lions yesterday, basically whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, finishing the game with 356 yards and 6, yes 6, touchdowns. One of those TDs went to Robert Meachem, who I told you was going to break out this year. Also Mike Bell had 28 carries for 143 yards (a 5.1 ypc average) while Reggie Bush rushed 7 times for just 14 yards. Seriously you guys, Reggie Bush is a terrible running back.
4. Brian Duensing. I am totally falling in love with this guy. Another start, and another gem, he pitched 7 shut-out innings on Sunday to help the Twins miraculously actually win a game. This runs his totals as a starter (5 games) to an ERA of with a WHIP of . Just incredible. He's the Francisco Liriano we thought we had but didn't but now do again because of Duensing. It's tough to find a gem in this lost season of perpetual disappointment. Seriously, how many Twins are you happy with this year? Mauer, Morales, Duensing, Nathan, Span, Kubel, and Mijares? Tough to put Morneau or Cuddyer in there despite their good numbers. Their dueling late season slumps haven't exactly left a nice impression. Anyway, Duensing is a stud, and is now 3-0 with a 2.00 ERA and a 1.14 WHIP as a starter. A quick check of BABIP, K/BB, and GB% tell me this probably isn't a fluke. If the Sidler was still alive, I'd ask him to do some nerd analysis on this kid, because he looks like the real deal to me.
5. TCF Bank Stadium. The team won, and put out a very good defensive effort against Air Force, a team that runs an offense that can be hard to stop, but I was more impressed by the new stadium. There were a few issues, such as lines of 30 minutes + for concessions (and longer at halftime), souvenir stands running out of t-shirts, and both Dino's Gyros and Subway stations running out of food, but overall it was a fantastic experience. It was the first major sporting event I have ever seen in Minnesota out doors, and that's truly how sports should be. Our seats were in the first row of the upper deck, visitor's side, on the 35 yard line, so we had a great view but it looked like the seating was laid out perfectly, and you would have a great view no matter where you were sitting. I'd like to write more about it, but really you just have to experience it yourself. The best way I can sum it up is that it finally felt like watching a real college football game. If you can snag a ticket, I highly recommend it.
Of course, the real highlight of the night was listening to some 70-year old man say if he ever saw Joel Maturi he would punch him in the face. . It seems he's had season tickets for 56 years, and lost his spot on the 50 yard line and is now on the 15, as we learned on the bus ride from a local establishment to the game. He was not very happy about it.
WHO SUCKED
1. Michgan State Football. I don't live in Michigan, but even I know that when you are Michigan or Michigan State, you don't lose to a directional school - yet that's what Sparty did on Saturday, falling 29-27 to the Chippewas of Central Michigan (aka Chris Kamen U). The Spartans certainly did everything they could to lose. CMU scored with just 32 seconds left in the game to bring the score to 27-26, then elected to go for the win and the 2 point conversion. They failed. Michigan State then botched the recovery of the onside kick, giving the Chippewas another chance. They quickly drove into position for a 47 yard game winning field goal - which was missed. But wait. Sparty was offsides. Given another chance, the CMU kicker drilled the 42 yarder for the upset and the embarrassment. Seriously, this conference is awful. There's no reason the Gophers can't finish in the top 4. Other than the fact that they aren't very good either.
2. Terrelle Pryor. Good god is this guy terrible. The numbers are awful (11-25 for 177 and a pick passing, 10 carries for 36 yards rushing), but they don't even tell the whole story. Ohio State had every chance to win that game and get the "can't beat the good teams" monkey off both their and the Big Ten Conference's back, but Pryor just couldn't make a play when they needed him to. He's not a very good passer, is a tentative runner, and is a deer in headlights against a good, fast defense. Luckily for him, there aren't many of those in the Big Ten so I expect he and the Buckeyes will have a good year once again, and then get destroyed in whatever bowl game they end up in. I also want to admit here that I have no idea why people use "in a minute" as slang to mean "a long time." Like as in, "I haven't seen you in a minute" would mean I haven't seen you in a long time. That makes no sense. A minute is actually a very short unit of time. I think it's the stupidest slang I've seen since saying "hella-" before everything. If you do this, stop.
3. Oklahoma State Football. Remember last week when everybody was all like, wow Oklahoma State what a huge win over Georgia they must be really good lets rank them fifth and put them into the conversation for National Champion contenders? Well they flushed all that right down the toilet by inexplicably losing to Houston. The Cowboys came out flat, falling behind 24-7 at halftime. As good teams tend to do, they came roaring back with three unanswered touchdowns to take a 28-24 lead. Then, as good teams usually don't do, they pissed it all right away, letting Houston score three times in the fourth quarter including an INT returned for a touchdown when OSU was trying to drive for a winning socre to seal the deal and the 45-35 Cougar win. So we don't have to worry about them winning a National Championship anymore. And Dez Bryant is still a superstud.
4. Cincinnati Bengals. Remember how I predicted the Bengals would be a playoff team this year? Nevermind. They couldn't even beat the shitty Broncos at home, and not even after taking the lead on a Cedric Benson TD run with just 38 seconds left in the game. Then, knowing full well that the Broncos were basically going to have to chuck the ball deep, they somehow managed to let Brandon Stokely catch a deflected pass and run 87 yards to win the game. Seriously I have no idea how somebody could let that happen, but then again, it's the Bengals. Really not a shock.
5. Jake Delhomme. Yuck. Wasn't this guy actually pretty good a few short years ago? And now he's an absolute trainwreck, as shown by yesterday's outing - possibly the worst game by a QB in the history of football. Jake went 7/17 for just 73 yards and threw four picks, and was so bad that not only did the Panthers bring in Luke McCown, they also brought in Matt Moore (who?). I really wish I would have watched the game, just to see what that kind of performance looks like. You can go ahead and scratch the Panthers off your Super Bowl contenders list - which I already told you to do. God I'm brilliant.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Michigan Football. It's nice to have a chance to write something positive about a Big Ten team, and Notre Dame is full of a bunch of queers, so it's great to see Michigan knock of the Irish 38-34 to break into the top 25. There wasn't a whole lot of defense in the game, and it would have been a lot of fun to watch if the stupid people at the stupid bar would have been able to figure out how to change their satellite to a local channel. Seriously, I thought all that local channels business was straightened out in like, 1999. I know that everyone I know with satellite has their local channels as part of their regular package, so there is no complicated switching of satellite feeds or anything. And they didn't even know how to do it. Yet they advertised drink specials during Vikings' games, which are on local television stations. I should have gone back during the Vikes game to see if they had that crap figured out yet. Arg. Oh, and your friend Micheal Floyd caught 7 balls for 131 yards and a score. It seems he's pretty good. Like the opposite of that stupid bar.
2. Adrian Peterson. It is just sick how good this guy is. Just another how hum day at the office, compiling 180 rushing yards and 3 scores. It's just so fun to watch him. He has the power to barrel right through people, the quickness to make them miss, and the speed to run away from them. Favre and Harvin both looked good yesterday too. Harvin is going to be a handful, running and catching. He has a world of talent (second only to Hakeem Nicks of the receivers in ths class). It's clear that Favre's lack of practice has had an effect on his chemistry with the wideouts, since a couple times he threw to an empty area because the receiver went somewhere else, but that can still happen even with a full practice schedule (see Brady Quinn's interception) and should get better with time. If Favre can contain himself and play just like that all year, there's no reason this isn't a Super Bowl team.
3. Drew Brees. Talk about having your way with someone, Brees violated the Lions yesterday, basically whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, finishing the game with 356 yards and 6, yes 6, touchdowns. One of those TDs went to Robert Meachem, who I told you was going to break out this year. Also Mike Bell had 28 carries for 143 yards (a 5.1 ypc average) while Reggie Bush rushed 7 times for just 14 yards. Seriously you guys, Reggie Bush is a terrible running back.
4. Brian Duensing. I am totally falling in love with this guy. Another start, and another gem, he pitched 7 shut-out innings on Sunday to help the Twins miraculously actually win a game. This runs his totals as a starter (5 games) to an ERA of with a WHIP of . Just incredible. He's the Francisco Liriano we thought we had but didn't but now do again because of Duensing. It's tough to find a gem in this lost season of perpetual disappointment. Seriously, how many Twins are you happy with this year? Mauer, Morales, Duensing, Nathan, Span, Kubel, and Mijares? Tough to put Morneau or Cuddyer in there despite their good numbers. Their dueling late season slumps haven't exactly left a nice impression. Anyway, Duensing is a stud, and is now 3-0 with a 2.00 ERA and a 1.14 WHIP as a starter. A quick check of BABIP, K/BB, and GB% tell me this probably isn't a fluke. If the Sidler was still alive, I'd ask him to do some nerd analysis on this kid, because he looks like the real deal to me.
5. TCF Bank Stadium. The team won, and put out a very good defensive effort against Air Force, a team that runs an offense that can be hard to stop, but I was more impressed by the new stadium. There were a few issues, such as lines of 30 minutes + for concessions (and longer at halftime), souvenir stands running out of t-shirts, and both Dino's Gyros and Subway stations running out of food, but overall it was a fantastic experience. It was the first major sporting event I have ever seen in Minnesota out doors, and that's truly how sports should be. Our seats were in the first row of the upper deck, visitor's side, on the 35 yard line, so we had a great view but it looked like the seating was laid out perfectly, and you would have a great view no matter where you were sitting. I'd like to write more about it, but really you just have to experience it yourself. The best way I can sum it up is that it finally felt like watching a real college football game. If you can snag a ticket, I highly recommend it.
Of course, the real highlight of the night was listening to some 70-year old man say if he ever saw Joel Maturi he would punch him in the face. . It seems he's had season tickets for 56 years, and lost his spot on the 50 yard line and is now on the 15, as we learned on the bus ride from a local establishment to the game. He was not very happy about it.
WHO SUCKED
1. Michgan State Football. I don't live in Michigan, but even I know that when you are Michigan or Michigan State, you don't lose to a directional school - yet that's what Sparty did on Saturday, falling 29-27 to the Chippewas of Central Michigan (aka Chris Kamen U). The Spartans certainly did everything they could to lose. CMU scored with just 32 seconds left in the game to bring the score to 27-26, then elected to go for the win and the 2 point conversion. They failed. Michigan State then botched the recovery of the onside kick, giving the Chippewas another chance. They quickly drove into position for a 47 yard game winning field goal - which was missed. But wait. Sparty was offsides. Given another chance, the CMU kicker drilled the 42 yarder for the upset and the embarrassment. Seriously, this conference is awful. There's no reason the Gophers can't finish in the top 4. Other than the fact that they aren't very good either.
2. Terrelle Pryor. Good god is this guy terrible. The numbers are awful (11-25 for 177 and a pick passing, 10 carries for 36 yards rushing), but they don't even tell the whole story. Ohio State had every chance to win that game and get the "can't beat the good teams" monkey off both their and the Big Ten Conference's back, but Pryor just couldn't make a play when they needed him to. He's not a very good passer, is a tentative runner, and is a deer in headlights against a good, fast defense. Luckily for him, there aren't many of those in the Big Ten so I expect he and the Buckeyes will have a good year once again, and then get destroyed in whatever bowl game they end up in. I also want to admit here that I have no idea why people use "in a minute" as slang to mean "a long time." Like as in, "I haven't seen you in a minute" would mean I haven't seen you in a long time. That makes no sense. A minute is actually a very short unit of time. I think it's the stupidest slang I've seen since saying "hella-" before everything. If you do this, stop.
3. Oklahoma State Football. Remember last week when everybody was all like, wow Oklahoma State what a huge win over Georgia they must be really good lets rank them fifth and put them into the conversation for National Champion contenders? Well they flushed all that right down the toilet by inexplicably losing to Houston. The Cowboys came out flat, falling behind 24-7 at halftime. As good teams tend to do, they came roaring back with three unanswered touchdowns to take a 28-24 lead. Then, as good teams usually don't do, they pissed it all right away, letting Houston score three times in the fourth quarter including an INT returned for a touchdown when OSU was trying to drive for a winning socre to seal the deal and the 45-35 Cougar win. So we don't have to worry about them winning a National Championship anymore. And Dez Bryant is still a superstud.
4. Cincinnati Bengals. Remember how I predicted the Bengals would be a playoff team this year? Nevermind. They couldn't even beat the shitty Broncos at home, and not even after taking the lead on a Cedric Benson TD run with just 38 seconds left in the game. Then, knowing full well that the Broncos were basically going to have to chuck the ball deep, they somehow managed to let Brandon Stokely catch a deflected pass and run 87 yards to win the game. Seriously I have no idea how somebody could let that happen, but then again, it's the Bengals. Really not a shock.
5. Jake Delhomme. Yuck. Wasn't this guy actually pretty good a few short years ago? And now he's an absolute trainwreck, as shown by yesterday's outing - possibly the worst game by a QB in the history of football. Jake went 7/17 for just 73 yards and threw four picks, and was so bad that not only did the Panthers bring in Luke McCown, they also brought in Matt Moore (who?). I really wish I would have watched the game, just to see what that kind of performance looks like. You can go ahead and scratch the Panthers off your Super Bowl contenders list - which I already told you to do. God I'm brilliant.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Weekend Review - 8/31/2009
Keeping it short this week, since I have to head to the airport soon. Yes, I'm heading out to New Jersey again. There may be some drunk blogging, but I have to take it kind of easy since I have to be all involved in the meetings and can't just spend the whole time hungover. Or at least that's the theory.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Brian Duensing. I'm assuming you probably saw Duensing's start on Friday, but if you didn't, you missed a thing of beauty. Perhaps in was magnified by the type of starting pitching I'm used so seeing out of the Twins' rotation, but I am now really impressed with Duensing, and am starting to think he's got a good future; not an ace, but a middle rotation kind of guy - so the Twins' ace, basically. Against a quality offensive team in the Rangers, he went seven innings and gave up just three hits and walk, while allowing no runs and striking out a career-high eight. He's definitely starting to come around, and he doesn't walk anybody, has a decent strikeout rate, and gets a lot of ground balls. My new favorite Twins' pitcher? Yes. Yes, indeed.
2. Hakeem Nicks. I have been dying to write this guy up, but since we didn't do our Keeper League draft yet, I didn't want to tip my hand. Now that it's complete (yes I got Nicks) I can tell you: this guy is the real deal, and showed it with 6 catches for 144 and 2 tds in the Giants' loss to the Jets Saturday. He has good size and strength, making him an excellent red zone target, has the best hands of any receiver in the draft, and runs excellent routes. The only knock on him at all is his speed, but he was able to get behind the defense and out-run everybody for 71 yards for one of those TDs saturday and had a 55 yarder in the Giants previous game. Oh, and you know who else was thought to be slow coming out of college? Jerry Rice, Cris Carter, and Terrell Owens. And Nicks is from North Carolina, which gives me an excuse to re-post this:
3. Ernie Els. I suppose if I wanted to pick somebody from The Barclays this weekend, it would make more sense to pick little known and little ranked Heath Slocumb (no relation to the fat, crappy relief pitcher of the same name from the 90s) who drained a 20 footer for par on 18 to win - a putt that if missed would have put him into a playoff against Tiger, Paddy Harrington, Els, and Steve Stricker, but I'm going with Els instead. Ernie had seemingly dropped out of the ranks of the elite level golfers, having one just once since 2004, but has really come back on of late. He's been on quite a run, culminating in his runner-up finish this weekend in New Jersey. Prior to that he finished sixth at the PGA, and has picked up a top 8 finish in four of his last six tournaments. Big Easy might be back.
4. Zack Greinke. What more can even be said about Greinke at this point? Ho-hum, he pitched a complete game shutout, 1 hitter against the Mariners yesterday. Greinke is now first in the league in ERA by almost a half run (2.32 vs. Felix at 2.77), first in WHIP, first in OPS against, second in batting average against, third in K/9, second in K/BB, first in complete games, first in shut outs, second in strikeouts, and third in quality start percentage. And yet, because he's "only" 13-8 and plays for the crappy Royals, he won't win the Cy Young Award, in what will be a true travesty. It'll go to Beckett or Sabathia or Verlander, Texeira will win MVP, and anybody with any rational thinking skills who hasn't realized it yet will realize the MLB awards are often a joke.
5. Matt Leinart. Leinart has spent more time in hot tubs since entering the NFL than studying his playbook, and it's showed. Last season the job of QBing the Cardinals was his to take, but he lost out to 50 year old Kurt Warner, and this season a report came out that Leinart was in competition for even the back up job. Well, this weekend he took a nice step towards solidfying that back up role, throwing for 360 yards and 3 TDs against the Packers. Yes, it was the second half and thus the second team defense, but anything is a positive for Leinart now. Although there's pretty much no way he was going to lose the backup job to Brian St. Freaking Pierre - although if that motivated him, bravo Cardinals coach. Bravo.
WHO SUCKED
1. Steve Marino & Paul Goydos. Nobody trusts lower tier golfer types when they have the fifty-four hole lead, and this weekend was a perfect illustration of why. Marino and Goydos were tied at nine under par going into Sunday's final round - 2 shots clear of the rest of the field, when it was all settled, Goydos dropped to ninth, Marino fifteenth. At least Goydos had the decency to take all the suspense out of it right way, double bogeying the third on his way to a four over par 75. Marino actually was part of the crowded group at the top of the leader board but completely melted down with a triple bogey at 15, and then closed out with bogeys on 17 and 18 to finish with a 77 - the worst round of the day.
2. Chicago White Sox. The always suck, but they sucked even worse this weekend, getting swept by the Yankees and getting one-hit by Sergio freaking Mitre. Just how bad are the White Sox these days? They are 1.5 games back of the Twins.
3. Toronto Blue Jays. Didn't they start the year well and look like they might be a factor in the East? Not so much anymore. After getting swept by the Red Sox, they are now 58-70, 23 games out of first. Guess you probably should have traded Halladay, huh Ricciardi? This trade deadline, when you had all the leverage. You think you're getting more for him next year? No. Whiffed on your best chance to rebuild around Travis Snider and the guys you could have gotten from Philly. Have fun in the basement for the next decade, even the Orioles look like they're figured out how to build a team.
4. Trent Edwards. Perhaps you recall once reading on this very blog how J.P. Losman was poised for a good year. Well, I was wrong. That doesn't mean the Bills have got it figured out yet though, as their starter for this year, Trent Edwards, is looking like all kinds of crap. Against the Steelers this weekend, Edwards completed just 6 of 13 pass attempts for just 31 yards and tossed a pick that was returned for a Steeler touchdown. Now, Edwards also had a game this preseason when he was a perfect 10-10, which reminds us that the preseason is generally not overly useful when it comes to evaluating players, but I still feel pretty comfortable saying Trent Edwards sucks.
5. Michael Cuddyer. I know you're thinking Cuddy had a hit in all three games this weekend, how could he have sucked? Well, I'll tell you. Saturday night, sixth inning, Twins down 2-0. Runners on 1st and 3rd. Cuddyer strikes out on a slider outside and in the dirt. Same game, Twins down to their last out - Cuddy strikes out. Sunday, Twins down 3-2 in the 8th, two runners on, Cuddyer strikes out on a slider outside and in the dirt. It's maddening. Look, I have no major issue with strikeouts. A lot of very good hitters strike out a lot. But the way Cuddy does it, he's not even getting beat by the pitcher, he's beating himself because he's either too stupid or too stubborn. I'm starting to think I could strike him out if I had a 1-2 count on him. It's enfuriating.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Brian Duensing. I'm assuming you probably saw Duensing's start on Friday, but if you didn't, you missed a thing of beauty. Perhaps in was magnified by the type of starting pitching I'm used so seeing out of the Twins' rotation, but I am now really impressed with Duensing, and am starting to think he's got a good future; not an ace, but a middle rotation kind of guy - so the Twins' ace, basically. Against a quality offensive team in the Rangers, he went seven innings and gave up just three hits and walk, while allowing no runs and striking out a career-high eight. He's definitely starting to come around, and he doesn't walk anybody, has a decent strikeout rate, and gets a lot of ground balls. My new favorite Twins' pitcher? Yes. Yes, indeed.
2. Hakeem Nicks. I have been dying to write this guy up, but since we didn't do our Keeper League draft yet, I didn't want to tip my hand. Now that it's complete (yes I got Nicks) I can tell you: this guy is the real deal, and showed it with 6 catches for 144 and 2 tds in the Giants' loss to the Jets Saturday. He has good size and strength, making him an excellent red zone target, has the best hands of any receiver in the draft, and runs excellent routes. The only knock on him at all is his speed, but he was able to get behind the defense and out-run everybody for 71 yards for one of those TDs saturday and had a 55 yarder in the Giants previous game. Oh, and you know who else was thought to be slow coming out of college? Jerry Rice, Cris Carter, and Terrell Owens. And Nicks is from North Carolina, which gives me an excuse to re-post this:
3. Ernie Els. I suppose if I wanted to pick somebody from The Barclays this weekend, it would make more sense to pick little known and little ranked Heath Slocumb (no relation to the fat, crappy relief pitcher of the same name from the 90s) who drained a 20 footer for par on 18 to win - a putt that if missed would have put him into a playoff against Tiger, Paddy Harrington, Els, and Steve Stricker, but I'm going with Els instead. Ernie had seemingly dropped out of the ranks of the elite level golfers, having one just once since 2004, but has really come back on of late. He's been on quite a run, culminating in his runner-up finish this weekend in New Jersey. Prior to that he finished sixth at the PGA, and has picked up a top 8 finish in four of his last six tournaments. Big Easy might be back.
4. Zack Greinke. What more can even be said about Greinke at this point? Ho-hum, he pitched a complete game shutout, 1 hitter against the Mariners yesterday. Greinke is now first in the league in ERA by almost a half run (2.32 vs. Felix at 2.77), first in WHIP, first in OPS against, second in batting average against, third in K/9, second in K/BB, first in complete games, first in shut outs, second in strikeouts, and third in quality start percentage. And yet, because he's "only" 13-8 and plays for the crappy Royals, he won't win the Cy Young Award, in what will be a true travesty. It'll go to Beckett or Sabathia or Verlander, Texeira will win MVP, and anybody with any rational thinking skills who hasn't realized it yet will realize the MLB awards are often a joke.
5. Matt Leinart. Leinart has spent more time in hot tubs since entering the NFL than studying his playbook, and it's showed. Last season the job of QBing the Cardinals was his to take, but he lost out to 50 year old Kurt Warner, and this season a report came out that Leinart was in competition for even the back up job. Well, this weekend he took a nice step towards solidfying that back up role, throwing for 360 yards and 3 TDs against the Packers. Yes, it was the second half and thus the second team defense, but anything is a positive for Leinart now. Although there's pretty much no way he was going to lose the backup job to Brian St. Freaking Pierre - although if that motivated him, bravo Cardinals coach. Bravo.
WHO SUCKED
1. Steve Marino & Paul Goydos. Nobody trusts lower tier golfer types when they have the fifty-four hole lead, and this weekend was a perfect illustration of why. Marino and Goydos were tied at nine under par going into Sunday's final round - 2 shots clear of the rest of the field, when it was all settled, Goydos dropped to ninth, Marino fifteenth. At least Goydos had the decency to take all the suspense out of it right way, double bogeying the third on his way to a four over par 75. Marino actually was part of the crowded group at the top of the leader board but completely melted down with a triple bogey at 15, and then closed out with bogeys on 17 and 18 to finish with a 77 - the worst round of the day.
2. Chicago White Sox. The always suck, but they sucked even worse this weekend, getting swept by the Yankees and getting one-hit by Sergio freaking Mitre. Just how bad are the White Sox these days? They are 1.5 games back of the Twins.
3. Toronto Blue Jays. Didn't they start the year well and look like they might be a factor in the East? Not so much anymore. After getting swept by the Red Sox, they are now 58-70, 23 games out of first. Guess you probably should have traded Halladay, huh Ricciardi? This trade deadline, when you had all the leverage. You think you're getting more for him next year? No. Whiffed on your best chance to rebuild around Travis Snider and the guys you could have gotten from Philly. Have fun in the basement for the next decade, even the Orioles look like they're figured out how to build a team.
4. Trent Edwards. Perhaps you recall once reading on this very blog how J.P. Losman was poised for a good year. Well, I was wrong. That doesn't mean the Bills have got it figured out yet though, as their starter for this year, Trent Edwards, is looking like all kinds of crap. Against the Steelers this weekend, Edwards completed just 6 of 13 pass attempts for just 31 yards and tossed a pick that was returned for a Steeler touchdown. Now, Edwards also had a game this preseason when he was a perfect 10-10, which reminds us that the preseason is generally not overly useful when it comes to evaluating players, but I still feel pretty comfortable saying Trent Edwards sucks.
5. Michael Cuddyer. I know you're thinking Cuddy had a hit in all three games this weekend, how could he have sucked? Well, I'll tell you. Saturday night, sixth inning, Twins down 2-0. Runners on 1st and 3rd. Cuddyer strikes out on a slider outside and in the dirt. Same game, Twins down to their last out - Cuddy strikes out. Sunday, Twins down 3-2 in the 8th, two runners on, Cuddyer strikes out on a slider outside and in the dirt. It's maddening. Look, I have no major issue with strikeouts. A lot of very good hitters strike out a lot. But the way Cuddy does it, he's not even getting beat by the pitcher, he's beating himself because he's either too stupid or too stubborn. I'm starting to think I could strike him out if I had a 1-2 count on him. It's enfuriating.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Mali-BOOOO! (Live Movie Blog)
Clearly I haven't learned my lesson yet, because I am once again back with another live movie blog. Tonight I will be taking on Malibu Shark Attack, a
- Ok, before the opening credits even roll, we see a shark eat a grouper, and then that shark gets eaten by a much bigger shark. This leads me to believe we are going to be dealing with some some of freakishly large shark, so you can probably thrown out my hope of a realistic movie right away. Nothing like crushing my dreams in the first ten seconds.
- Our main characters look to all be life guards so far. Remember Baywatch? Nicole Eggert was the hottest one.
- Shit. I just read the DirectTV summary for this: An Earthquake unleashes huge, prehistoric sharks that terrorizes the California coast. Great.
- We just saw a pack of these prehistoric sharks, and they look like goblin sharks. Now while that might be the coolest name for an animal ever, it's a curious choice for an antagonist animal in a movie. Yes, they look scary, but their max length is only about 10 feet and they are skinny for their size (max weight = 350 lbs., like your mom) and as such have very little power. They also don't attack humans, and usually eat small fish and squid (note: not the giant kind). They also aren't prehistoric, they actually live now. I now this because I spent an hour a while back watching a documentary called, "Quest for the Goblin Shark" on The Science Channel. And they found one. And they accidentally get caught in nets all the time. Not prehistoric. Photo evidence:
Scary looking? Yes. A danger to humans? No. Prehistoric? No.
- Oh, and also they don't travel in schools. Mother F. We're five minutes in and already set a record for scientific inaccuracies.
- I just found out I'm going to be able to go to the opening game at TCF Bank Stadium. I'm not exactly the world's biggest college football fan, but I'm pretty stoked.
- One of the female lifeguards looks like Maggie Gyllenhaal if she died her hair blonde and then injected an assload of testosterone into her body while smoking a carton of cigarettes.
- Holy god the acting in this is maybe the worst we've had yet. At least a cute blonde girl finally showed up. And we've already had three shark-related fatalities. Plus, it's on a beach so there's lots of bikinis running about. But still, the acting. Oof.
- Some dude who looks like Michael Madsen just proposed to some old lady life guard. This guarantees the old lady lifeguard is going to be the heroine. You watch.
- Some teenages are now drinking beer and going parasailing, which, if they had watched some other shark movie I can't remember right now, they would know that parasailing is a good way to get chomped by a shark. Which, by the way, are now definitely confirmed as goblin sharks after a few close ups. This is so weird. There are plenty of really scary and awesome sharks out there, but they go with a small, harmless shark and magically give it not only the aggression, but the tools to kill people.
I get why you might not want to do Great Whites, which have been done to death, but why not switch to the Tiger? That thing is totally wicked awesome, but Spring Break Shark Attack is the only movie to feature it. The Bull Shark attacks more people than any other shark, but as far as I know, the only movie made featuring a bull is something called Red Water, starring Kristy Swanson and Mr. Belding (and which I can't find on tv, ever). The point is you don't have to give a species attributes it doesn't possess just because it has a cool name - there are tons of cool sharks still waiting for movies to be made about them.
- During all that those kids what were parasailing got eaten. And now there was another earthquake and there is a tsunami alert. That's another thing that's been bugging me; why do all these shark/croc/squid movies feel the need to toss in a natural disaster, too? When Luke and Han got all effed up in Empire Strikes Back, they didn't feel the need to have a cyclone come whipping into Cloud City.
- Cute blonde girl is now in a bikini top, and she's running down the beach with a young male lifeguard who I am going to call Tackleberry. She is very bouncy and very natural. He runs like a fag. Seriously. You know that kid in elementary school who didn't have the coordination enough to even run and kind of looked special at Track & Field Day running the 50 meters? Like that, but with more gay.
- Preceeding the Tsunami, a Goblin Shark washes up on the beach in front our lifeguards. Somehow old lady lifeguard is smart enough to identify it as a Goblin Shark, but also goes with the, "they are supposed to be extinct" followed in the next sentence by "they are really rare." Which is it, lady? Extinct, or rare? Because you can't have both. And, as discussed earlier, they aren't supposed to be extinct. Not even a little bit. Stop lying.
- I just looked up that blonde girl, and her name is Chelan Simmons. She's done a lot of work, but nothing that really stands out with the exception of Stephen King's It, in which she played the little girl who gets killed first when Pennywise returns. I suppose I should supply a picture (not of when she was a little girl, pervo).
- The tsunami has hit the life guard tower with our heroes still in it. Luckily, it hit with the force of someone taking a bucket of water and tossing it at the tower. Unluckily, it seems the entire beach is now underwater, and they are trapped in the tower (which is half-submerged). I'm guessing this is where the sharks come in.
- There's also a house near the beach where a bunch of construction workers are trapped now too. There was some whole sub-plot going on with them but I wasn't really paying attention so I don't know what it was. Seems better for all of us that way.
- That hot blonde chick got her leg whacked and is now bleeding . the blood which is seeping into the water and attracting the thought-to-be-extinct goblin sharks. The goblin sharks OF DOOM.
- It seems she needs stitches, but since they're trapped the only possibility is to have the manly Maggie Gyllenhaal stitch her up with needle and thread. Ouch. This girl is quite the screamer. Tackleberry is either grossed out or turned on - he's not exactly the king of emoting through facial expressions.
- Wow. Way to drag out a scene of a chick getting stitches for 20 minutes in a god damn shark movie. And this chick is way less hot now. What a whiner. Talk about high maintenance. She's the J-Lo of shark movie chicks.
- Speaking of high maintenance, I miss Super Sioux Fan.
- I still can't get over pack-hunting, aggressive, human-killing goblin sharks. Which by the way are continually circling this life guard stand because a couple of drops of blood fell in the water a half hour ago.
- Oh for christ's sake. The old lady life guard, the one who identified these sharks as "extinct" goblin sharks, just told one of the other life guards that they are "the same species as the Great White." First of all, goblin sharks aren't related to great whites in the slightest, except they both have the word "shark" in their name and both live in the ocean. Second, if goblin sharks were the same species as Great Whites, they'd just be Great Whites. Great white is it's own species, as is goblin shark. As is cat. And dog. That sentence is like saying, "Hey, that cow is the same species as that spider." I'm going to kill this movie.
- And now they use echo-location to find their prey. Like bats. Which, I think this goes without saying, is completely untrue in every way. If you're going to completely make stuff up, I'd go with a shark whose fins were actually chainsaws.
- Sentence just uttered, "this is a species of shark that hasn't been seen in millions of years." Even Mrs. W laughed at that one, and said, "Didn't we just watch a documentary on this kind of shark?" Yes. Yes we did. We were lucky we caught that one. It's not often you get to see footage of a creature that hasn't been seen in millions of years.
- Remember the part where I mentioned that the old lady lifeguard just got engaged so she would end up living until the end? Well the sharks must have echo-located her standing in the guard tower, because they rammed it from the bottom and then ate the crap out of her. So yeah, I was way off. They were probably pissed from all the disinformation and false rumors she was spreading about them.
- I would try to describe how dumb this scene just was, but I seriously don't have the words.
- Hm. It seems the construction people in that house are unaware of our little shark problem, because some chick just decided to go swim to the mainland to try to find a boat. Well, let's just say the construction workers are fully aware of the sharks now.
- Oh, and I guess they can jump now because they just got another construction guy who was standing on the dock. Mrs. W is currently cackling out loud at the effects in this movie. I haven't touched on them yet, but they are wretched. I think Jaws for Nintendo had better animation than this - better plot, too.
- I think I'll probably write more on the Twins' moves at some point, but real quick: We should be very fired up by the Jon Rauch acquisition. The guy is a top flight set up man, and has experience as a closer. He immediately displace Guerrier as the 8th inning righty. Mahay is kind of meh, but at the same time he upgrades the Twins bullpen just by his experience and the fact that almost all the bullpen guys suck. He's 38 and has fallen off a bit this year, but has been a pretty good reliever throughout his career. He should take half the Jesse Crain role, with Guerrier slipping down to take the other half, while Crain takes over mop up duty.
For the starters, obviously I would love it if they can swing a way to get Harden. Even if he only pitches 6 times, that will probably be the Twins six best chances to win the rest of the year. If Harden doesn't work out, I've heard Penny has a decent chance of ending up here (although how sweet would it be to get both). He hasn't been as good as he used to, and he's no Harden, but once again, he'd probably be the team's best pitcher, so I'm all for it. Although after watching Duensing, maybe we just try to pitch him every other day?
- Some studly lifeguard guy is going to make a swim for it from the tower. Apparently he's not scared of this echo-location garbage. The douchenozzles in the tower are going to distract the sharks by yelling. You know, because sound travels through water so well. And there's the, you know, echo-location problem to deal with. And for some reasons the sharks keep trying to get through the hole they already broke in the bottom of the thing to eat the lady who was full of lies.
- I guess stud daddy McGee was just trying to get the flare gun which was at the bottom of the ocean - which he did. But then he shot a shark with it - the only flare which he just risked his life to go after. So basically after all that we're at teh same point we were before, except now there's no flares even at the bottom of the ocean, and that hot chick still hasn't taken her top off. I know it's SyFy, but a boy can dream.
- Ugh, that "same species" comment is really getting to me. What she really should have said was that goblin sharks are of the same order as great whites and also are not at all extinct. See, because goblin sharks and great whites both belong to the order of lamniformes, one of the two main orders of sharks (carcharhiniformes being the other main order, including bulls and tigers), however order is three levels removed from species (order, family, genus, species) so really, they aren't that closely related at all. For reference, poodles and polar bears are of the same order - and thus are just as related as goblin sharks and great whites. As are hippos and giraffes. This movie didn't even try.
- Two of the construction workers got a fishing boat and are coming to get the life guards, even though they never were actually able to fire the flare. As they are driving across the water, they are throwing dynamite into the water to keep the sharks away. Trust me, that sentence sounds awesome, but somehow this movie has managed to destroy the long held equation: sharks + explosions = pimp.
- Recently started watching Mad Men. Pretty good so far. Makes me long for the good old days when you could treat a woman like a piece of meat and get drunk at work. But have you noticed that Dom Draper's house looks exactly like the Nightmare on Elm Street house? Super creepy.
- Did you know there is such a thing as a crocodile shark? Now that is a sweet name. Of course, it's the smallest member of the order lamniformes (the same as the Great White - duhn duhn duhn) at only 3 feet long. But it did wreak some serious havoc by biting a bunch of undersea fiberoptic cables laid by AT&T and causing a ton of damage - which I think was actually the plot of Shark Attack 3 and the worst book ever written, Meg by Steve Alten. THE MAIN CHARACTER ENDS UP WALKING AROUND INSIDE A MEGALODON OMG WTF!!!! Don't ever read that.
- A perch and a barracuda are of the same order. Think about that the next time you laugh at a perch. They're practically the same species.
- The world's smallest fishing boat apparently can fit seven people, and the constructioners pick up our life guard friends. The sharks neglect to ram this smallest of boats despite having rammed several boats earlier that were even bigger. But, bummer of all bummers, they run out of gas. They ran out of gas. They have no more fuel. Sometimes I wish I was just making these movies up in my head, and nobody had actually green lighted scripts like this.
-Ugh. Somehow, despite having no fuel, they magically drifted to the construction house. Well, not quite to the construction house, they stopped about 25 feet from it for no explainable reason, and are now sitting there and "have to swim for it." The sharks show up, and old man who got engaged to super-uninformed and now digesting in a shark's belly life guard lady jumps in and swims away from the house to distract the sharks. Some would say that was noble. Others, like me, would say he just wants his time on this movie to finally end.
- Now they are in the basement of the construction house, which is half flooded of course, and also of course, somehow a shark got in and is now stalking Tackleberry and hot blondie. Luckily, Tackleberry saves blondie and severely injures the shark with a chainsaw. Yep, you read that right.
- Main construction guy somehow blew it up by doing something with some pipes. I seriously have no idea. That made less sense than Christina Aguilera marrying that little troll guy she married.
- For some reason Lifeguard guy just got out of the truck and into the water, and of course a shark came after him which he of course then killed using a chainsaw. Again. This is so weird.
- They just killed the last shark, this time by trapping and then stabbing it to death with various construction tools. Then they are finally picked up by helicopter and this garbage is over, but not before we find out that Studly Lifeguard and main construction guy are both in love with manly Maggie. She says, "How do you boys feel about sharing your toys?" I'm totally not kidding. She just proposed a threesome.
Overall, this was awful. Bad story, faulty science to a degree last seen in a second-grader's story, and put the cherry on top, there were like, no main characters killed. The end total was five still living, which is an embarrasment itself, and that was out of like seven characters we were actually introduced to. I had such high hopes, but this might have been the worst one yet. I'm still not sure why I keep doing this to myself.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Twins vs. Royals
I haven't done this but once I think this year, but now seems like a good time to live blog a Twins game. Since this is supposed to be the big home stand where they can really make a run playing the lowly Royals and Indians for six straight home games. We'll see.
- The guy who never walks anybody ever, Nick Blackburn, falls behind David of Jesus 3-1, then puts one right into the perfect slap zone - waist high, outside corner - and noted slap hitter DeJesus shoots it into left for a single. Captain Slap himself, Joe Mauer, would have loved that pitch.
- Speaking of Mauer, he just attempted to throw out a runner stealing and the throw was about four feet to the shortstop side of the bag. Bert's comment? "Blackburn really gave up too much of a jump to Anderson there." No matter that he could have waited til the ball was half way to the plate before running and still made it.
- 1-0 Royals after Billy "the second coming of Steve Balboni" Butler singles to right. I'm already frustrated. This might be the shortest live blog ever.
- Who would you rather have start at second, Punto or Casilla? I don't see any upside either way.
- After a four pitch walk, Miguel Olivo slaps one past Morneau down the line to score another couple runs, making it a 3-0 Royals lead. In case that's not depressing enough already, BB Gun seemingly is refusing to throw strikes. The good news here is that with 2 outs, the Ryan Leaf of baseball players Alex Gordon is now up. If you can't get Gordon out, you might as well quit.
- Ground rule double. 4-0. And Alex Gordon ripped a pitch. That's his first double of the year. I know he's been hurt, but still, even when he hasn't been he's sucked. I'm so glad I decided to live blog this one.
- Twins finally up, still down 4-0. At least they get to hit off Kyle Davies. That pretty much guarantees they can get to four runs no problem. Well, if they weren't the Twins they could.
- Cabrera has been so hot since he came over, just imagine if Brendan Harris was playing second. And that single up the middle gets his hit streak to 20.
- Wild pitch scores Cabrera after a Mauer single, then Morneau walks. Two on, one out, 3-1 game and the best player on the Twins, Jason Kubel at the bat. I'm calling a double, scoring two.
- Or a force out at seond. Crap. Now it's up to that damn Cuddyer. I'm calling a strikeout on a ball in the dirt. I know, I know, I'm crazy.
- 2-2 count after Cuddy swings at misses at a bitch at his eyes. Here comes the slider in the dirt.
- Nope, just blew a fastball right by him. I know what Cuddy's numbers say, and I'm generally a quantitative over qualitative guy, but I just can't shake the feeling that this guy sucks at hitting. I'm starting to understand why people bitch about Pat Burrell and Adam Dunn when they watch them all season long. Despite the successes, the strikeouts are just so aesthetically ugly that they grate on you after a time. He's just like Phil Rivers throwing motion or Jim Furyk's swing - it's ugly, but it's effective.
- Uh oh, according to Robbie Mcintowkialoliwak, the Royals scouts have figured out Blackburn, and the hitters are waiting on the sinker and just shooting it the other way, and are able to do this because they aren't worried about the fastball getting by them. This makes a god damn lot of sense, because every batter so far, other than the ones he walks instead - as he just did to DeJesus, has gone to opposite field (as did whoever just got that hit. Maier or something like that).
- Jesus F. Duensing is up in the pen. It's the second god damned inning.
- Sac bunt attempt. Blackie goes to third with it, throw is high and Harris can't handle it. Bases loaded, nobody out. I am very, very close to checking out of this game. These guy suck. It's like watching the bad news bears right now, but without the humor and racial slurs.
- Double play, but another run in. 5-1 now in the second.
- Another knock for the Royals when Blackburn falls behind again and it's 6-1. Duensing coming in. I'm done with this, and with this team.
- I suppose I should do some PGA preview, but I don't want to, so instead here is your top six most likely to win other than Tiger Woods:
1. Kenny Perry
2. Steve Stricker
3. Lee Westwood
4. Zach Johnson
5. Tim Clark
6. Camilo Villegas
- A Delmon foul out, a Harris strikeout, and a slap flyout by Casilla and suddenly the worst pitcher in the world has a 1-2-3 inning and three strikeouts through two. Great.
- Hey, did you know the PGA Championship is in Minnesota this week? I just found out. The media coverage hasn't been super annoying or anything. Now Hunter Mahan is in the press box with Dick and Bert, wearing a Twins jersey. It makes me like him a little more for showing up to a baseball game, but the Twins jersey I'm pretty sure dooms him to miss the cut.
- Home run Olivo. 7-1. Delmon Young looked like a hippopotamus chasing a butterfly trying to get to that one (it just barely cleared the fence, Span probably comes down with it).
- Some walks, some hits, and it's 8-1 and already the longest game in history.
- Span strikeout, Cabrera foul out, Mauer single, Morneau fly out. I'm officially bored and stopping this. Sidler, if you're still out there break down this whole Rios to the Sox thing for me, I'm too lazy to do it.
- The guy who never walks anybody ever, Nick Blackburn, falls behind David of Jesus 3-1, then puts one right into the perfect slap zone - waist high, outside corner - and noted slap hitter DeJesus shoots it into left for a single. Captain Slap himself, Joe Mauer, would have loved that pitch.
- Speaking of Mauer, he just attempted to throw out a runner stealing and the throw was about four feet to the shortstop side of the bag. Bert's comment? "Blackburn really gave up too much of a jump to Anderson there." No matter that he could have waited til the ball was half way to the plate before running and still made it.
- 1-0 Royals after Billy "the second coming of Steve Balboni" Butler singles to right. I'm already frustrated. This might be the shortest live blog ever.
- Who would you rather have start at second, Punto or Casilla? I don't see any upside either way.
- After a four pitch walk, Miguel Olivo slaps one past Morneau down the line to score another couple runs, making it a 3-0 Royals lead. In case that's not depressing enough already, BB Gun seemingly is refusing to throw strikes. The good news here is that with 2 outs, the Ryan Leaf of baseball players Alex Gordon is now up. If you can't get Gordon out, you might as well quit.
- Ground rule double. 4-0. And Alex Gordon ripped a pitch. That's his first double of the year. I know he's been hurt, but still, even when he hasn't been he's sucked. I'm so glad I decided to live blog this one.
- Twins finally up, still down 4-0. At least they get to hit off Kyle Davies. That pretty much guarantees they can get to four runs no problem. Well, if they weren't the Twins they could.
- Cabrera has been so hot since he came over, just imagine if Brendan Harris was playing second. And that single up the middle gets his hit streak to 20.
- Wild pitch scores Cabrera after a Mauer single, then Morneau walks. Two on, one out, 3-1 game and the best player on the Twins, Jason Kubel at the bat. I'm calling a double, scoring two.
- Or a force out at seond. Crap. Now it's up to that damn Cuddyer. I'm calling a strikeout on a ball in the dirt. I know, I know, I'm crazy.
- 2-2 count after Cuddy swings at misses at a bitch at his eyes. Here comes the slider in the dirt.
- Nope, just blew a fastball right by him. I know what Cuddy's numbers say, and I'm generally a quantitative over qualitative guy, but I just can't shake the feeling that this guy sucks at hitting. I'm starting to understand why people bitch about Pat Burrell and Adam Dunn when they watch them all season long. Despite the successes, the strikeouts are just so aesthetically ugly that they grate on you after a time. He's just like Phil Rivers throwing motion or Jim Furyk's swing - it's ugly, but it's effective.
- Uh oh, according to Robbie Mcintowkialoliwak, the Royals scouts have figured out Blackburn, and the hitters are waiting on the sinker and just shooting it the other way, and are able to do this because they aren't worried about the fastball getting by them. This makes a god damn lot of sense, because every batter so far, other than the ones he walks instead - as he just did to DeJesus, has gone to opposite field (as did whoever just got that hit. Maier or something like that).
- Jesus F. Duensing is up in the pen. It's the second god damned inning.
- Sac bunt attempt. Blackie goes to third with it, throw is high and Harris can't handle it. Bases loaded, nobody out. I am very, very close to checking out of this game. These guy suck. It's like watching the bad news bears right now, but without the humor and racial slurs.
- Double play, but another run in. 5-1 now in the second.
- Another knock for the Royals when Blackburn falls behind again and it's 6-1. Duensing coming in. I'm done with this, and with this team.
- I suppose I should do some PGA preview, but I don't want to, so instead here is your top six most likely to win other than Tiger Woods:
1. Kenny Perry
2. Steve Stricker
3. Lee Westwood
4. Zach Johnson
5. Tim Clark
6. Camilo Villegas
- A Delmon foul out, a Harris strikeout, and a slap flyout by Casilla and suddenly the worst pitcher in the world has a 1-2-3 inning and three strikeouts through two. Great.
- Hey, did you know the PGA Championship is in Minnesota this week? I just found out. The media coverage hasn't been super annoying or anything. Now Hunter Mahan is in the press box with Dick and Bert, wearing a Twins jersey. It makes me like him a little more for showing up to a baseball game, but the Twins jersey I'm pretty sure dooms him to miss the cut.
- Home run Olivo. 7-1. Delmon Young looked like a hippopotamus chasing a butterfly trying to get to that one (it just barely cleared the fence, Span probably comes down with it).
- Some walks, some hits, and it's 8-1 and already the longest game in history.
- Span strikeout, Cabrera foul out, Mauer single, Morneau fly out. I'm officially bored and stopping this. Sidler, if you're still out there break down this whole Rios to the Sox thing for me, I'm too lazy to do it.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Baseball Olympia
I know, I know, you're sick of hearing about Olympic Baseball, just bear with me for one post and it'll all be over.
Actually, I think it's a little weird that there is essentially no coverage for the Olympic baseball tournament. I suppose since it's going on during the MLB season and there are no major league players involved there isn't that much interest, but I heard Terry Tiffee is on the team so I thought I'd check it out a bit.
The most interesting thing about the USA roster is that Twins AAA pitching prospect Brian Duensing is on the team. Duensing was ranked the #10 prospect in the Twins system going into the season and had just an ok year at Rochester this season. The lefty compiled a 4.32 ERA and a 1.32 WHIP over 131 innings in 23 starts, striking out just 76. He's 25, and has moved fairly slowly through the system. He'll need to take a big step forward in the next couple of seasons to break through, but for now, he's an olympian and you're not.
He pitched well in relief in his only Olympic appearance thus far (USA is 1-1 right now), pitching to four batters and getting them all out, striking out two against the dirty Koreans.
A couple other interesting guys on the US team are Terry Tiffee (former Twin), Matt LaPorta (just traded in the Sabathia trade), and Taylor Teagarden (good catching prospect who was up for the Rangers for a bit and homered off Scott Baker). Thus far, Tiffee is 4-8 in two games, LaPorta is 1-8 with a homerun, and Teagarden is 1-3 in just one game.
Other names you might recognize include Canada's Rheal Cormier and Chris Reitsma, and Taipei's Tsao Chin-Hui and that's about it - and there's really no good reason to remember any of those guys listed above anyway unless you're a real nerd. So, in other words I guess, it's kind of a snooze fest. But USA takes on Cuba tonight at 10:30pm central, so be a real American hero and take a watch. [EDIT: Ok, I guess it's at 10:30 am tomorrow. And also I don't know if it's on TV. So just nevermind.]
In case you're curious, and I was, there are 8 nations involved (USA, South Korea, Canada, China, Chinese Taipei, Cuba, Japan, and the Netherlands) who each play each other once, with the top four teams advancing into a four team, single elimination tournament. Also of interest, this is the last year baseball (and softball) will be an Olympic sport. RIP.
Actually, I think it's a little weird that there is essentially no coverage for the Olympic baseball tournament. I suppose since it's going on during the MLB season and there are no major league players involved there isn't that much interest, but I heard Terry Tiffee is on the team so I thought I'd check it out a bit.
The most interesting thing about the USA roster is that Twins AAA pitching prospect Brian Duensing is on the team. Duensing was ranked the #10 prospect in the Twins system going into the season and had just an ok year at Rochester this season. The lefty compiled a 4.32 ERA and a 1.32 WHIP over 131 innings in 23 starts, striking out just 76. He's 25, and has moved fairly slowly through the system. He'll need to take a big step forward in the next couple of seasons to break through, but for now, he's an olympian and you're not.
He pitched well in relief in his only Olympic appearance thus far (USA is 1-1 right now), pitching to four batters and getting them all out, striking out two against the dirty Koreans.
A couple other interesting guys on the US team are Terry Tiffee (former Twin), Matt LaPorta (just traded in the Sabathia trade), and Taylor Teagarden (good catching prospect who was up for the Rangers for a bit and homered off Scott Baker). Thus far, Tiffee is 4-8 in two games, LaPorta is 1-8 with a homerun, and Teagarden is 1-3 in just one game.
Other names you might recognize include Canada's Rheal Cormier and Chris Reitsma, and Taipei's Tsao Chin-Hui and that's about it - and there's really no good reason to remember any of those guys listed above anyway unless you're a real nerd. So, in other words I guess, it's kind of a snooze fest. But USA takes on Cuba tonight at 10:30pm central, so be a real American hero and take a watch. [EDIT: Ok, I guess it's at 10:30 am tomorrow. And also I don't know if it's on TV. So just nevermind.]
In case you're curious, and I was, there are 8 nations involved (USA, South Korea, Canada, China, Chinese Taipei, Cuba, Japan, and the Netherlands) who each play each other once, with the top four teams advancing into a four team, single elimination tournament. Also of interest, this is the last year baseball (and softball) will be an Olympic sport. RIP.
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