Week in Review - 5/29/2012

I think I've solved the issue with the lack of content/posts on the site.  I've decided to bring in a partner.  TRE from www.stillgothope.com.  He's a pretty funny dude and a good writer, he's a Twins and Gopher fan, and this should increase the amount of Gopher football coverage on this site by eleventy billion percent.  He's already written one post, on a weekend no less, and basically called me stupid so he should fit in here just fine.  I've always thought I had a tougher road because I'm the only Gopher blog with only one writer and especially lately I haven't been bringing the quantity or quality, but now we don't have to worry about that anymore.  So welcome aboard, TRE.  If you suck you won't just be fired, you'll be killed.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Justin Morneau.  His batting average last week was actually pretty crappy at .240, but of his 6 hits four of them were HR bombs which is a great sign, and his batting average on balls in play was just .125 which says he was pretty damn unlucky last week, outside of hitting the ball 1000 miles a few times.  If you remember last year, before captain softhead was put down for the season the big problem was that he wasn't hitting the ball with any kind of power.  His ISO (which is slugging-batting average and measures raw power without it being a function of a high average) was .106, which was less than half his career average and nowhere near what he usually does and was a huge reason many people, myself included, were wondering if perhaps the head injury had broken his brain enough where he had turned into a slap hitter.  Well I'm not really worried about that anymore.  Now I'm just hoping they can trade him for BOATLOADS.

2.  Stephen Strasburg.  I've never made it a secret that I'm desperately in love with the Stras but he's kind of like Natalie Portman and the more you learn about him the more you love him and now apparently he can hit, too.  No, I won't waste your time drooling over his pitching again because you already know he's basically unhittable, but after going 1-2 with a monster dinger and 2-2 in his last two games he's .389 this year with an OBP of .421, slugging of .722, and OPS of 1.143.  To put that in perspective he'd lead the Twins in every offensive category and it wouldn't even be fucking close which is actually pretty depressing.  I mean, it's probably a bit fluky considering he was 1-26 in his career before this year and was hitting just .143 six games ago, but since then he's gone 6-11 and four of those six hits have been for extra bases, plus he hit .400 in his (admittedly short) minor league career.  I guess what this really does is beg the question, "could Strasburg get Strasburg out?"  We should ask that tootsie pop owl guy, he seemed pretty sharp.

3.  Mike Stanton.   I'm not going to call him Giancarlo just because somebody tells me to even if it's this guy himself and even if there's a good reason.  I honestly don't know if there was a good reason because I didn't really pay attention and when I first saw the Giancarlo thing I wondered if they were brothers because I'm stupid but the point of this story is that Stanton destroyed the ball this week and even broke the scoreboard off Jamie Moyer (and watch him pimp this home run):

Dude's 22 years old and hitting .291 with 12 dingers already after hitting 34 last year and 22 in his half season rookie year.  Take notes, Twins' fans.  This is what we need to hope Sano is.

4.  Anaheim Angels.  Maybe it's stupid to write nice things about the Angels on the same day Jered Weaver gets pulled because of an injury after pitching to just three batters and getting none of them out, but the Angels seem like maybe they've kind of figured this shit out - finally.  Dan Haren, who had been knocked around all year by such horrendous offensive teams as the Twins and the Twins, finally looked like the Dan Haren we used to know by throwing a complete game shutout against Seattle with 14 whiffs (yes Seattle but still), Albert Pujols is hitting the ball again like a man, and Kendrys Morales is hot.  If they could figure out how to get Morales, Pujols, and Trumbo in the lineup at the same time or just trade one of them they'd be in better shape, but after a pretty lackluster start to the year they've won six straight, and even if it's against crappy teams like Oakland and Seattle it still counts and those teams are in their division too so it counts double.  Plus these guys used to lose to the Twins, so you know.

5.  Kevin Garnett.  I know he's probably always been an ass and he's definitely become an ass since he won that title with the Celtics, but for some stupid reason I find myself rooting for him, again, and he was probably the biggest reason Boston made the finals, because outside of game 4, KG was a monster in the entire series against the 76ers.  He outscored his season average in six of the seven games (averaged 19.7 vs. 15.8 reg season) and grabbed more boards in six as well (11.0 vs. 8.2) and shot 50% from the floor.  Basically he completely raised his game in a big spot, which is something I'm not sure he's ever done - or at least not very often.  I have a feeling KG, Jesus Shuttlesworth, and Pierce know this is probably their last shot since they all have been worn down like a porn star when she hits age 30.  Time for one last shot at glory, no reason to hold back now.  I also predict if they get bounced at some point KG loses his mind a decks somebody - probably Rondo.



WHO SUCKED

1.  Jason Marquis.  We all saw this coming, right?  I know it only cost $3 million or whatever, but what exactly was the point?  What was his upside?  He hasn't hit 150 innings since 2009, hasn't finished a year with an ERA under four since 2004, and gives up almost as many base runners as Nick Blackburn over the course of their careers.   Then he missed spring training, as understandable as that was, and jesus what a disaster.  An ERA of 8.47 and WHIP of 1.94 in his seven Twins' starts, which really shouldn't have been a surprise considering his performance in three starts after being traded to Arizona late last year, where he actually put up worse numbers than he did for the Twins (ERA 9.53, WHIP 2.29).  I know the Twins have a tendency to try to grab guys who are looked at as old and mediocre and sign them on the cheap and hope they get solid production, but lately it always seems to be a Marquis or a Tony Bautista or a Nishioka, and I can't remember the last time they hit on somebody but I'm gonna say Chili Davis.  That was 100 years ago.  That was the same year Dahmer was arrested and the Super Nintendo was released.  That's how long it's been since the Twins made a really good free agent signing (although Willingham seems promising at this point).  Chicks who were born that year can now go out and get drunk legally.  Kinda hot, now that you mention it.

2.  Hakeem Nicks.  Hakeem Nicks is one of my favorite receivers.  In our keeper league I took him with the 3rd overall pick his rookie year and everyone was like dude what?  and I was like, this guy is going to be a rock star.  And mostly I was right.  He's easily one of the most talented receivers in the entire NFL, and has put up over 1,000 yards each of the last two years.  But there's a minor problem - he's always hurt.  He has yet to play a full season (14, 13, and 15 games in his three years) and although he hasn't ever come up with a major injury that's kept him out an extended period of time he's always freaking dinged up to the point where you never know if you can put him in your lineup until like, right up until the game when they announce he's going to play and if he plays Monday night you end up starting somebody else like Mike Sims-Walker instead you sucks and then Nicks does well and you lose.  Sucks.  And now he's got a broken foot (suffered at an offseason workout for god's sake) and could be out up to 12 weeks which I'm not really sure when that is but it seems like it won't affect the season but whatever.  He's pissing me off.  I'm gonna trade him now.  If you're in my league and read this blog please ignore this entry and pretend I wrote something about Jamey Carroll instead.

3.  Chicago Cubs.  I heard something on the radio about how the Cubs won today and it was like their first win in the last 10 games.  Then I just looked it up and they did win today, but this was actually their first win in 13 games so it was even worse, which is kind of funny but makes sense because the Cubs suck and are still paying Alfonso Soriano ten trillion dollars and I can't guarantee it but I bet they're still on the hook for Zambrano as well.  So yeah, they're really bad.  Until today they hadn't scored more than four runs in nine straight games, which included four games with 1 or 0 runs.  Earlier this week the Cubs had 10 hits in a game against Pittsburgh but managed to not have an extra base hit and got shutout.  They also lost a game on a hit-by-pitch in the bottom of the ninth.  Things aren't going well.  But this will happen when you're counting on Brian LaHair as your clean-up hitter and Paul Maholm features prominently in your rotation.  Oh who am I kidding, I'd kill for Maholm on the Twins right now.  He'd be the freaking ace.

4.  Joe Blanton.  I've always disliked Joe Blanton and routinely bet against him.  He looks like a fat baby, he has one of those goatee things that's all shaggy but doesn't have the mustache part, and he's a right-handed junkballer with shitty stuff who can't break 90 but won a lot of games when the A's were good despite terrible stats and everybody thought he was good because most people are morons and now he's making $8 million per year.  And then it almost kind of looked like he had maybe figured it out this year with an ERA under 3 and at least 6 innings pitched in six of seven starts this year.  Then this week happened.  In games against St. Louis and Boston he never made it out of the fifth with a combined statline of 8.2 ips, 19 hits, 13 earned runs, and 6 homers to balloon his ERA to a much more Blanton-like 4.55.  It's kind of creepy how much better I feel now.

5.  Oakland A's.   I'm a Billy Beane fan and I mostly think the "moneyball" related criticisms of him are pretty ridiculous, but I just have no idea what that team is doing, and now they've lost six straight (including one to the Twins lolololol) and have gone 4-10 to suddenly drop off the map.  Mostly I'm just confused with how they're handling pitching.  Why trade Trevor Cahill when he's only 24 and looking like a future 2/3 type?  Why trade Gio Gonzalez at age 26?  Why trade Josh Outman (age 27) and Guillermo Moscoso (age 27) for Seth Smith who completely sucks?  Cahill and Gonzalez, especially, and they had just hit arbitration so they weren't looking at the big-time expensive franchise killing contracts yet (Mauer -> hi).  Beane used to make turning vets into prospects into an art form, but the A's won because Giambi, Tejada, Chavez, Hudson, Zito, Mulder, etc. were able to mature into great players before they were shipped out.  Seems now like those same types of guys are getting moved before they even have a chance to develop.  Can't win that way.  Moneyball?  More like Stupidball, amiright?

Weekend Review - 10/19/2009

I kind of sort of wanted to write about how gopher football sucked this weekend, and a 20-0 whopping by Penn State in which they gained all of 138 yards certainly seems like it might warrant it.  I'm not, though, because I didn't watch the game and although I usually shoot my mouth off without having all the facts, since this is ostensibly a gopher blog, even though it's basketball focused, I'll hold off.  I was going to watch the game, but when I got home from the softball state tournament on Saturday it wasn't on because the Oklahoma/Texas game ran late.  Then when it finally switched over I was busy with Wonderbaby^TM and then it was halftime and then I fell asleep. Go gophers.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Rodney Williams and Blake Hoffarber.  In case you're completely unaware, the Gophers season officially kicked-off Friday night with Midnight Madness, which in this case is called Tubby's Tip-Off and took place at 7:30.  These two get the nod for their big wins in the dunk and 3-point shootout - go ahead and guess who won which contest.  Perhaps more impressive than the Hoff's win was who the runner-up was - Justin Cobbs.  As good a defender as Al Nolen is, it's no secret to anybody with two eyes that his offense was lacking in a big, big way last season.  If it turns out Cobbs can score, even if he can just knock down an open three, that adds another dimension to the offense.  As for Rodney in the dunk contest, do yourself a favor and watch this:

[Video removed because it kept freaking out my browser. You can find it at From the Barn or Gophersports.com or pretty much anywhere. Just make an effort, fatty.]

Turns out those reports that he was an incredible athlete:  ACCURATE.  Additionally, I've read some reports from people who were there (over at the Gopher Hole) and it sounds like Ralph Sampson has bulked up quite a bit this year.  Combine that with the fact that Ralph can run a mile in under six minutes, which I learned straight from Tubby's mouth on the radio, and I don't really see any way he doesn't run away with Big Ten Player of the Year.

If you want some really detailed info on 3-point totals by round, and a thorough report on the scrimmage,  click your mouse device on this hyperlink.

2.  Hakeem Nicks.  He just keeps being awesome, so I just have to keep highlighting him.  In a suddenly crowded group of NY Giant receivers, Nicks keeps putting up good numbers and might have the highest upside of all of them - and that's no slight on the good Steve Smith.  On Sunday he lit up the Saints for 114 and a touch, making this the third straight week he's found the endzone, and, since Eli had a horrid game in the loss, he accounted for 64% of the team's receiving yards.  Smith and Mario Manningham both have more yards receiving this year than Nicks, partially due to Hakeem missing two and a half weeks due to injury, but it's becoming more and more obvious just how talented this kid is.  Steve Smith might end up with better numbers this year, but Manningham is currently being pushed aside, and neither will end up any near as good as Nicks when all their careers are wrapped up.

3.  Sidney Rice.  This guy is an asshole.  I'm sorry, and normally I don't like to use such coarse language in front of a lady (note:  that's you, nancy-boy), but I am required to hate this guy for screwing two of my fantasy teams (yes, I have more than one, kill me). I drafted him in two leagues, and in one of them when I picked him some jackass piped up with "potential will kill you."  Then after two weeks of nothing and looking like less than an afterthought, I had to drop him to make room for other players who were actually playing well.  Well, since then he's been picked up by other retards in my leagues and scored two TDs in the last four weeks, never dipped below 56 yards receiving, and blew up this weekend with a 6 catch, 176 yard game in the Vikes win.  Yeah, well he's too slow to outrun DBs and got caught from behind on what would have been a 70-yard touchdown, so eat it, guys who picked him up.

4.  LaDainian Tomlinson.  Numbers-wise, at first glance LT's performance last night doesn't look that impressive - 19 carries for 70 yards and 3 catches for 30, but two things are worth noting.  First, Denver's defense has been very, very good this year, particularly against the run.  Tomlinson's 70 rushing yards and the second most a back has managed to put up against the Broncos, just barely behind the 76 yards they allowed to Cedric Benson in week one.  Second, and more importantly, this is more about watching the game than the numbers.  Most of last year and this year, Tomlinson has looked slow, tentative, and was unable to either make people miss or break tackles - very similar to Shaun Alexander down towards the end there, and there was quite a bit of talk about how LT might be done.  Watching last night, it appears he might be heading back - not to the lofty heights he had reached previously, but I think he's far from done.  He was quicker than I had seen him in the last couple of years, making several defenders miss, and was making cuts quickly and decisively, much closer to the good LT than the recent LT.  He's not going to be MVP any time soon, but last night was very encouraging.

5.  The Beer Stars.  That's out softball team, and we are awesome.  Took part in the State Tournament this weekend, and ended up walking out with a nice plaque for finishing in fourth place (out of 63 teams).  Keep in mind, this isn't some kind of pansy-ass single elimination garbage like those sissies in the NCAA Tournament, this is double.  That means in order to finish in fourth, we had to win seven games, finishing up with an impressive 7-2 record that included a win over the (now former) #1 team in the state.  Once we got to the final four, I think we were in a different stratosphere.  The team that bounced us walked up and were drinking nothing but water and gatorade, and had warm-up donuts for their bats as well as those heavy warm up bats for the on-deck circle.  Not quite the same attitude we have, as demonstrated by the name "Beer Stars."  It was an excellent two days.  I think Snacks is the only other Beer Star who reads this blog, but if any of the others are out there - congrats fellas.  We kicked some serious ass.



WHO SUCKED

1.  Sam Bradford.  Let me give you people a bit of advice:  If you ever win a Heisman Trophy and are a guaranteed lock for a 1st round pick in the NFL Draft, just go.  Don't be noble.  Don't be loyal.  Don't be idealistic.  Just go.  I'm guessing Bradford's wishing he had done that after getting hurt for the second time this season on Saturday, and this one looks like there's a pretty good chance we're talking season's over here.  After getting his shoulder ripped in half against BYU in the season opener, he made his big triumphant return on Saturday against Texas in the big ole Red River Rivalry game, managed to sling six passes (completing just two) and then had his shoulder ripped off again.  What will this mean for his career?  I don't know.  It's probably not a career ender or anything, but will a team draft a guy who hurt the same shoulder twice in a season with a first round pick?  Seems doubtful.  We're talking a loss of multiple millions here.  All so he could get up and go to class.  Sucker.   

2.  Terrelle Pryor.  Enough with this guy already.  He's a good runner.  That's it.  He's not Michael Vick.  He's not Pat White.  He's not Vince Young (in college).  He's not even Beau Morgan.  He's more like Reggie Bush than anything else - elusive, fast runner who can help his team with his legs, but he is not a quality QB and he showed it again this weekend against Purdue.  Ohio State went in to West Lafayette and got rolled, 26-18 by a Boiler team that had only one other win on the season (against Toledo).  Pryor managed an incredible four turnovers all on his own, not to mention taking a sack on a third-and-five in Purdue territory late in the game with the Buckeyes down eight, and also managed to rush for just 34 yards on 21 attempts.  He's awful.  But you know what's funny?  I just checked, and he actually has a better QB rating than Adam Weber.  Good work Adam.  You're worse than the college equivalent of Tavaris Jackson.     

3.  Tennessee Titans.  Am I completely crazy, or weren't the Titans supposed to be a Super Bowl type contender this year.  Let me check something.  Yep, that's what I thought - they won their division last year.  Seeing as how they have pretty much the same team as last year, I'm guessing that their current 0-6 record is probably a bit of a shock to pretty much everybody.  Not a shock to me though, since I picked them tho finish third in their division.  What is a shock to me is the stats the Titans put up in Sunday's devastatingly embarrassing 59-0 loss to the Patriots.  It's hard to say what was worse, the offense or the defense.  The offense was so bad, that Vince Young was the leading passer for the Titans with a day of 0-2 for 0 yards.  That's because Kerry Collins somehow managed to 2-12 for -7, I have no idea how, which nets out to a QB rating of 4.9, which I assume is some kind of record and they exact opposite of the day the Titans' D let Tom Brady have:  29-34 for 380 yards and 6 TDs, which is a QB rating of 152.8.  He should probalby be in the Awesome portion of this post, but 1) I hate him, and 2) they pulled him for someone named Brian Hoyer who then went 9-11 for 52 yards in his pro debut.  In conclusion, Tennessee sucks worse than this TV movie with Tori Spelling Mrs. W is currently watching.

4.  Hideki Kuroda.  On Sunday for game 3 of the NLCS, Dodgers' manager Joe Torre had a choice:  go with Kuroda or Chad Billingsley.  They had pretty similar numbers on the season (Kuroda 3.76 ERA, 1.14 WHIP, Billingsley 4.03 and 1.32), and I'm sure there are a bunch of other factors that I don't feel like spending the time to research, but it seems he chose incorrectly and Kuroda got shelled, giving up six runs without bothering to get out of the second inning.  Of course, Billingsley didn't do much better in relief and the offense only managed three hits against Cliff Lee, so none of this really mattered, but there's still a valuable lesson here:  you can't trust commies.  Luckily, thanks to the second amendment, every man has the right to bear arms to protect himself from these commies, and the right to Liberty.  Liberty, if you've forgotten, is the soul's right to breath, and without liberty, man is a syncope.     

5.  John David Booty.  Sad news folks.  It's over.  John David Booty was released from the practice squad by the Vikings on Thursday in order to make room for some irrelevant o-lineman.  Seems a little unfair to get rid of a guy who has never thrown a regular season pass, but nobody said Chilly always makes the right decision.  So you people are going to have to give up on your dreams of having discovered a fifth round gem, and I'm going to have to give up on my dreams of using this picture for anything worthwhile:

So it goes.

Weekend Review - 10/5/2009

Wow, who would have thought we'd be sitting here still stressing about the Twins even  four days ago?  Quite the run to tie it (I think they are on a 16-4 run right now) and a little help from the Tigers and we are back to last year all over again.  That was a fun game to watch yesterday, and the cheers from the crowd when the White Sox scored and the chants of "Let's Go White Sox" were great moments.  Glad I had the chance to go.  No, I won't be in attendance on Tuesday, but I will most definitely be watching.  Let's hope we get the good Baker, not the gopher ball one.



WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Delmon Freaking Young.  What.  The.  Hell?  I have no idea what got into him, unless it was that little bean ball/I hate Mijares incident, but whatever it is keep it going.  Delmoney absolutely destroyed Kansas City in this three game set, going 6-13 with three home runs and 10 rbi and coming up with the biggest hit of the game in both games 1 (the grand slam) and game 2 (bases clearing double off Grienke) and then knocking out two homers yesterday.  To put his production this weekend in perspective, these three games representent about 3% of the games he's played in all year and he put up 25% of his season home run total and 17% of his RBI total this weekend.  Is he finally turning it around and showing the player everyone thought he would be coming into the league, or is this nothing more than a small sample size flash?  I don't care, just do it for one more game.


2.  Jason Kubel.  If Delmoney hadn't had such a monster series, we'd be talking about Kubel who is almost as hot right now.  In the three games against KC, he went 6-13 with 3 homers and 8 rbi - the big difference is we expect this from Kubel.  His three-run bomb in the first yesterday set the tone and took a whole ton of pressure off the rest of the team, and continued a season of utter dominance as he's now up over 100 rbi and a .300 batting average.  Seriously, this batting line:  .300/.369/.535 with 27 dingers, 35 doubles, and 102 ribi is just sick.  He has a better slugging percentage than Alex Rodriguez, a better on base percentage than Johnny Damon, a better average than Mark Texeira, more homers than Evan Longoria, Justin Morneau, and Derek Jeter.  Seriously, at this point anybody bashing Kubel is either completely retarded or just running a bit, because he really and truly has had an elite hitting season this year.

3.  Jacob Edward Peavy.  This is a repeat from last week, but how can I not include him again?  A week after completely shutting down the Tigers, he did it again, going eight innings this time, and giving up just 2 hits and 2 walks while striking out five and giving up no runs.  You can read my post last week and pretty much apply the whole thing this week.  Two interesting additional thoughts about Peavy, both supplied by Snacks this week.  First, how impressed should we really be by him shutting down the Tigers twice?  As snacky-boy said, Carl Pavano did it four freaking times.  Pavano is the definition of mediocre, so perhaps it isn't time to make sweet love to Peavy just yet - although I lean towards the fact that this guy is pretty good.  Second, Peavy doesn't miss a whole lot of bats, and that isn't a desirable trait in the AL.  He only threw four pitches that batters swung and missed at tonight.  For comparison sake, Manship had nine and even Jesse Crain had two.  That's not a good thing.  If the Sidler still read this blog and wrote for it, he could probably do this better than I.


4.  B.J. Upton.  Bossman Junior has driven me crazy this year, first being my preseason pick for MVP and then proceeding to alternate between being hurt and sucking all season long, but he finally played the way I expected him to all year this weekend.  He started off by hitting for the cycle and driving in six on friday, scored two runs without getting a hit on saturday, and .  The thing that drives me and probably actual Rays' fans crazy is that he has all the tools to be an MVP candidate, but his numbers have taken an inexplicable dip this year.  Batting average from .273 to .243, OBP from .383 to .312, SLG from .401 to .376.  It's even more dramatic looking at deeper metrics, his walk rate went from 15.4% to 8.9%, his line drive % went from 19% to 15.5%, and his fly balls up are 31% to 40% and he's suddenly swing at 20% of the balls he sees outside the strike zone, where he was at just 15% last year.  Perhaps most damning is that that last year his BABIP was a ridiculous .350, and now that he's at a more normal .315 his numbers are awful.  Is the Bossman just an average player?  My eyes say no, but my brain is starting to say a solid maybe.

5.  Hakeem Nicks.  It's unfortunate that he got hurt and had to miss three games, because it's allowed Eli to get cozy and snuggly with guys like Manningham and Steve Smith which might slightly slow down his quick ascent to the #1 WR on the Giants, but it's clear he's going to be a star.  They managed to get him in the game a bit this week and he responded with a 54-yard TD catch.  Is it safe to say he's the next Randy Moss?  Yes, I think it probably is.  


WHO SUCKED

1.  Miguel Cabrera.  Obviously losing two of three to Chicago and coughing up a 2 game lead with three to play means a whole lot went wrong for the Tigers, such as scoring one total run in the first two games, but supposed MVP candidate Cabrera really forgot to show up, going 0-11 for the series.  And it's not even so much 0-11, but how many opportunities he squandered.  Game 1, first inning two runners on and 1 out - Whiff.  Fourth inning, runner on nobody out - popup.  Ninth inning, runner on nobody out - popout.  Game 2, first inning, runner on two out - popup.  Third inning, runners on 2nd & 3rd, two outs - ground out.  Sixth inning, runner on one out - strikeout.  Eighth inning, two on, 1 out - double play.  Even in game 3 he came up twice with a runner on base and failed to get a hit.  Sure, game 1 was a blowout so it didn't matter and they won game 3 anyway, but he had every opportunity to win or at least change that second game and failed to come through time and time again.  Of course, this probably just means he's due and he'll do a Jason Kubel impression to Baker on Tuesday.


2.  Clemson.  They weren't exactly a national title contender or anything, but with a kick-ass RB like C.J.  Spiller and a ranking just outside the top 25 in the preseason in like every poll it looked like they were poised for a good year.  Oops.  The losses keep piling up, and at this point the Tigers are 2-3 and suddenly look like instead of fighting for a top tier bowl they'd be lucky to make the Poulan Weedeater Bowl.  Losses to TCU, Georgia Tech, and this weekend to Maryland aren't horrible by themselves, but add them up and they haven't won a meaningful game this year.  It's always a struggle with a freshman QB, and Kyle Parker hasn't thrown a TD since September 10th, but they just keep finding ways to lose, and this week it was missed field goals - they missed two in the fourth quarter, either of which would have tied the game.  They weren't exactly chipshots at 47 and 48 yards, but kicker Rich Jackson hit a 51 yarder earlier, so you know he had the leg.  Sorry Clemson, not your year.   


3.  Dallas Cowboy Playcalling.  If you had the misfortunate of watching this crapfest I feel for you, though I had to watch it to.  At the end of the game, the Broncos had managed to suck slightly less than the Cowboys and had a 17-10 lead, but Dallas had the ball, 3rd and goal, with nine seconds left - two chances to tie the game.  So they go to Sam Hurd.  Huh?  I guess he'd be after Witten, Williams, Crayton, and Austin, but ok, maybe he had a good matchup.  Nope, he was going against Champ Bailey.  Now, Bailey may have been passed by guys like Revis and Asomugha, but he's still top shelf.  So of course, he knocked the pass away.  Then they ran THE EXACT SAME PLAY, which he again knocked away - Game Over, Broncos win.  And this wasn't Romo checking down, Hurd was the #1 option and Romo was Weber-locked on him.  The announcer also commented that Romo threw at Bailey 16 times in his 42 attempts, which, clearly, didn't work (Bailey had four pass deflections and an INT, and I'd love to see the overall results of those attempts).  Just an absolutely bizarre strategy.  

4.  Oakland Raiders Rushing.  So much for the three-headed monster (McFadden, Bush, Fargas).  Well, it could be a three-headed monster if the monster was a pile of crap with pipe cleaners sticking out and cotton balls and googly eyes for the three heads, but it certainly ain't some kind of real monster after Sunday's output.  Fargas was the star, gaining a whole 24 yards and 10 carries, while Michael Bush got 10 and McFadden carried six times for -3 yards.  Darrius Heyward-Bay was the team's second leading rusher thanks to a 20 yard reverse.  The Raiders gained 45 total yards on the ground agains the Texans, who ranked as the NFL's worst defense and were allowing 205 rushing yards per game to their opponents before Sunday.  Of course, this could be more of a Jamarcus Russell thing than a RB thing, since the Texans stacked the line and dared Russell to beat them - which he didn't, completing just 12 of 33 attempts for 128 yards.  Holy god is that guy terrible.

5.  Gopher football.  I didn't watch the game because I was busy doing I'm not really sure what, but seeing as how they lost at home to Wisconsin in a game in which they were favored, I'm going to assume they sucked.  No doubt either the Daily Gopher or the Gopher Football Blog has slightly more detailed information if that's your sort of thing.

NFL Predictions, 2009

You asked, and thus you shall recieve.  NFL predictions, team-by-team.  As always, you can expect this to be incredibly accurate.

AFC EAST

1.  Patriots.  Brady's back, and I'm pretty sure he's all the way back, which means big seasons for him, Moss, and Welker.  The defense might be an issue this season, and the RB situation is confusing (way to go Maroney) but will probably end up with three or four guys splitting the yards and TDs, but they're certainly good enough to win the division and maybe the whole thing.

2.  Dolphins.  The preeminant Wildcat running team adds Pat White, perhaps the best dual threat QB in college football since Major Harris or Rickey Foggie?  This is going to be spectacular, whether for good or ill.  I'm betting good, and wouldn't be shocked to see the Dolphins make the playoffs and White become responsible for getting Teebo drafted in round 1 rather than round 3.

3.  Jets.  Mark Sanchez will be a good QB.  Mark Sanchez will not be a good QB this year.  Thomas Jones is 100 years old.

4.  Bills.  See, the thing is, you need a quarterback to win.  Trent Edwards is not a real quarterback.  Even worse is that the trade of Jason Peter means the Bills will have five brand new starters on the O-Line this year, and they didn't exactly sign a gang of Steve Hutchinsons.  How long do you think T.O. is going to stay well-behaved in this situation?  Honestly, this might be the most likely team to go 0-16 out of the whole bunch.

AFC NORTH

1.  Steelers.  They make almost no changes, and why should they?  The only position I see them falling off in is at RB, where Willie Parker is about to fall off a cliff into Shaun Alexander-land, they have a high quality replacement waiting in the wings in Rashard Mendenhall. 

2.  Bengals.   This is the team that I think will surprise.  Carson is back, and coming with him will be Ochocinco who is "revitalized" which really just means he's a bitchy little whiner who wouldn't try last year because they sucked and now everyone thinks they will be good again so he will be good again - and I agree.  Plus the defense isn't half bad, actually, at least not as bad as you think.  Playoffs, baby.  Believe.

3.  Ravens.  Mark Clayton still hasn't developed and Derrick Mason is hanging around, but Ray Rice should develop into a star this year.  What happened to McGahee anyway?

4.  Browns.  Ok, maybe this is the team with the best chance to go 0-16, unless Brady Quinn has a magic arm.  My sources say no.  Expect James Davis to take Jamal's job by week 8.

AFC SOUTH

1.  Colts.  Dropping Marvin Harrison is actually going to help the team, trying to shoehorn an old, broken down murderer into game plans hurt both Reggie Wayne and Anthony Gonzalez.  Need proof?  In the game Marvin missed last season, Peyton Manning threw for 364 yards and 3 TDs, completing 29 of 34 pass attempts.  After 2004 it's hard to predict Peyton to "have his best year" ever again, but this could be the season.

2.  Texans.  Is this finally the year?  It will be as long as Schaub stays healthy.  These guys are pretty much solid all around, with the best receiver in football in Andre Johnson and a good offense and defense all the way around.  If Matty can play all 16, they'll make the playoffs for the first time.

3.  Titans.  Once again, I refuse to believe in Tennessee.  Collins isn't very good and has nobody to throw to, and when he gets hurt and/or falls off the wagon Vince Young is worse than T-Jax.  LenDale White lost weight which means he's now slow and has no power instead of being slow with power, and Chris Johnson might be the most overrated running back in the league.  The defense is good though.

4.  Jags.  Tough to put them fourth, but this is a very good division this year.  MJD was going to be a star this year, but now he's banged up and will probably suck.  Way to pick him in the top 3, everybody in America.

AFC WEST

1.  Chargers.  The demise of Ladainian Tomlinson has been greatly exaggerated.  He was hampered big time by injuries last season, and still managed to put up decent numbers.  This year Sproles should cut into his touches a bit, but assuming he's healthy he should return to an elite level in a big way.  Plus, this division is absolute garbage after San Diego and they should win it without any problem.

2.  Chiefs.  Second place my default, there isn't a single other decent team in this division.  The Chiefs get the nod because they have a decent QB with a good target to throw to in Bowe, but really anybody could get second here - and likely with a losing record.

3.  Raiders.  I flip flopped the Raiders and the Broncos in this spot a bunch of times, but in the end I'm giving the Raiders the edge. Both teams have god awful defenses, ok O-Lines and questions at QB, but while Tom Cable seemingly has the Raiders showing a new dedication and a positive attitude, the Broncos seem like a complete mess right now (of course, one Raider coach punching out another has them not too far behind).  Either McFadden or Michael Bush will blow up this year, I'm just not sure which one.

4.  Broncos.  See above.  Outside of Champ Bailey and Eddie Royal, everybody on this team sucks.

NFC EAST

1.  Giants.  An already good team with an excellent running game and defense took steps to shore up it's receiving core by taking Hakeem Nicks and Ramses Barden in the draft.  Nicks has all the tools, and once he's up to speed on the mental game he should take over the #1 reciever role and remind people of Anquan Boldin. 

2.  Eagles. A very good defense needs help from the offense, and it looks like they will get it.  Pick ups of Jeremy Maclin (the second best rookie WR after Nicks) and LaSean McCoy will pay off, with McCoy able to fill in and maybe even outplay Brian Westbrook, who will inevitably get hurt at some point.

3.  Cowboys.  Who exactly is Tony Homo going to throw the ball too outside of Jason Witten?  The Cowboy receiving corps is terrible.  Patrick Crayton?  Miles Austin?  These guys are garbage, and their "#1 reciever" Roy Williams is nothing more than a highly touted mediocre player mascarading as the go-to-guy (much like Nick Blackburn).  Expect to see Felix Jones cut deeply in Marion Barber's carries, if not outright take the job away.  Then Barber and Maroney can call each other to cry.

4.  Redskins.  Another awesome defense (holy crap this division is loaded on D) gets better with Albert Haynesworth and Brian Orakpo joining the d-line - this might seriously be the best defense in the league, but it doesn't matter.  For the 10th year in a row the passing game is in the hands of Jason Campbell, Santana Moss, and Antwaan Randle-El.  That hasn't work before, and it's not going to magically click now.

NFC NORTH

1.  Vikings.  Fine, I'm in.  You got me.  I believe.  The defense is the best in history, Favre has another magic year in his arm, AP could run for 2,000+, and Percy Harvin will make everybody forget how good Randy Moss was as a rookie.  I've been sucked in.  And I hate myself for it.

2.  Packers. Aaron Rodgers looks like the real deal and Charles Woodson is apparently ageless.  However Ryan Grant sucks and the Packers switching from a 4-3 to a 3-4 defense without bothering to change any of there personnel.  Sounds like a rebuilding year.

3.  Bears.  There's a lot of chatter about the Bears being good, but just as their offense is improving, their defense is declining (16th in points allowed last year) and aren't getting any younger.  Cutler might have a good year, but with no actual receivers on the team the offensive improvement won't offset the now craptastic defense.

4.  Lions.  Rookie coach, rookie QB, and almost a completely new defensive squad doesn't add up to a very good year.  The good news is, the Lions will be improved.  The bad news is, it would be impossible not to be.  Stafford to Megatron could end up a pretty solid connection (where else is he going to throw it?)

NFC SOUTH

1.  Falcons.  Everybody is in love with Atlanta this year, and you can count me in.  Matt Ryan, Mike Turner, and Roddy White are the next Manning, Edge, and Harrison, and adding in Tony Gonzalez is going to make this one of the best offenses in the league.  If the defense is any good they could be super bowl contenders.

2.  Saints.  Break out season for Robert Meachem.  You heard it here first.

3.  Panthers.  These guys were 12-4 last season?  Must have been a huge fluke, because other than Julius Peppers, Steve Smith and DeAngelo there's nobody good here.  The defense is terrible and not improving, and Delhomme has been pretending to be an actual QB for years.  This is a crash and burn season.

4.  Bucs.  Byron Leftwich at QB?  Derrick Ward/Cadillac Williams/Earnest Graham as your RBs?  A terrible O-Line?  I have no idea what's going on here.  It's like they're tanking to get a better draft pick.  Dawger, your thoughts?

NFC WEST

1.  49ers.  Tough call in this division, but a commitment to running the ball down everybody's throat with Frank Gore sounds pretty good to me - guy is a stud. The defense is pretty decent too.  I see Shaun Hill having a caretaker Trent Dilfer-like season, which should be good enough to get San Fran into the playoffs.

2.  Seahawks.  I've written about Hasselbeck here before, no need to do it again.  I also expect Edge to give Seattle a running threat they haven't had since Shaun Alexander turned 80 - no, not to that level or even a high level, but more like a respectful level.

3.  Cardinals.  Warner gets hurt by week six and Leinart sucks - and so does their defense.

4.  Rams.  Yet another team who could threaten the 0-16 season.  It's entirely possible Steve Jackson could account for 90% of the yards gained by the Rams this year.  Don't buy into the Donnie Avery hype.


Wild Card:  Steelers over Texans, Colts over Bengals, Falcons over Eagles, Saints over 49ers.

Divisional:  Colts over Chargers, Patriots over Steelers, Vikings over Falcons,  Giants over Saints.

Championship Round:  Colts over Pats, Vikings over Giants

Super Bowl:  Colts over Vikings.

I would also just like to add here that I burned my hand two days ago with boiling water making Cup O' Noodles for lunch, so keep that in mind when reviewing these predictions.

Weekend Review - 8/31/2009

Keeping it short this week, since I have to head to the airport soon.  Yes, I'm heading out to New Jersey again.  There may be some drunk blogging, but I have to take it kind of easy since I have to be all involved in the meetings and can't just spend the whole time hungover.  Or at least that's the theory.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Brian Duensing.  I'm assuming you probably saw Duensing's start on Friday, but if you didn't, you missed a thing of beauty.  Perhaps in was magnified by the type of starting pitching I'm used so seeing out of the Twins' rotation, but I am now really impressed with Duensing, and am starting to think he's got a good future; not an ace, but a middle rotation kind of guy - so the Twins' ace, basically.  Against a quality offensive team in the Rangers, he went seven innings and gave up just three hits and walk, while allowing no runs and striking out a career-high eight.  He's definitely starting to come around, and he doesn't walk anybody, has a decent strikeout rate, and gets a lot of ground balls.  My new favorite Twins' pitcher?  Yes.  Yes, indeed.   

2.  Hakeem Nicks.  I have been dying to write this guy up, but since we didn't do our Keeper League draft yet, I didn't want to tip my hand.  Now that it's complete (yes I got Nicks) I can tell you:  this guy is the real deal, and showed it with 6 catches for 144 and 2 tds in the Giants' loss to the Jets Saturday.  He has good size and strength, making him an excellent red zone target, has the best hands of any receiver in the draft, and runs excellent routes.  The only knock on him at all is his speed, but he was able to get behind the defense and out-run everybody for 71 yards for one of those TDs saturday and had a 55 yarder in the Giants previous game.  Oh, and you know who else was thought to be slow coming out of college?  Jerry Rice, Cris Carter, and Terrell Owens.  And Nicks is from North Carolina, which gives me an excuse to re-post this:

  

3.  Ernie Els.  I suppose if I wanted to pick somebody from The Barclays this weekend, it would make more sense to pick little known and little ranked Heath Slocumb (no relation to the fat, crappy relief pitcher of the same name from the 90s) who drained a 20 footer for par on 18 to win - a putt that if missed would have put him into a playoff against Tiger, Paddy Harrington, Els, and Steve Stricker, but I'm going with Els instead.  Ernie had seemingly dropped out of the ranks of the elite level golfers, having one just once since 2004, but has really come back on of late.  He's been on quite a run, culminating in his runner-up finish this weekend in New Jersey.  Prior to that he finished sixth at the PGA, and has picked up a top 8 finish in four of his last six tournaments.  Big Easy might be back. 

4.  Zack Greinke.  What more can even be said about Greinke at this point?  Ho-hum, he pitched a complete game shutout, 1 hitter against the Mariners yesterday.  Greinke is now first in the league in ERA by almost a half run (2.32 vs. Felix at 2.77), first in WHIP, first in OPS against, second in batting average against, third in K/9, second in K/BB, first in complete games, first in shut outs, second in strikeouts, and third in quality start percentage.  And yet, because he's "only" 13-8 and plays for the crappy Royals, he won't win the Cy Young Award, in what will be a true travesty.  It'll go to Beckett or Sabathia or Verlander, Texeira will win MVP, and anybody with any rational thinking skills who hasn't realized it yet will realize the MLB awards are often a joke.

5.  Matt Leinart.  Leinart has spent more time in hot tubs since entering the NFL than studying his playbook, and it's showed.  Last season the job of QBing the Cardinals was his to take, but he lost out to 50 year old Kurt Warner, and this season a report came out that Leinart was in competition for even the back up job.  Well, this weekend he took a nice step towards solidfying that back up role, throwing for 360 yards and 3 TDs against the Packers.  Yes, it was the second half and thus the second team defense, but anything is a positive for Leinart now.  Although there's pretty much no way he was going to lose the backup job to Brian St. Freaking Pierre - although if that motivated him, bravo Cardinals coach.  Bravo.



WHO SUCKED


1.  Steve Marino & Paul Goydos.  Nobody trusts lower tier golfer types when they have the fifty-four hole lead, and this weekend was a perfect illustration of why.  Marino and Goydos were tied at nine under par going into Sunday's final round - 2 shots clear of the rest of the field, when it was all settled, Goydos dropped to ninth, Marino fifteenth.  At least Goydos had the decency to take all the suspense out of it right way, double bogeying the third on his way to a four over par 75.  Marino actually was part of the crowded group at the top of the leader board but completely melted down with a triple bogey at 15, and then closed out with bogeys on 17 and 18 to finish with a 77 - the worst round of the day.    


2.  Chicago White Sox.  The always suck, but they sucked even worse this weekend, getting swept by the Yankees and getting one-hit by Sergio freaking Mitre.  Just how bad are the White Sox these days?  They are 1.5 games back of the Twins.

3.  Toronto Blue Jays.  Didn't they start the year well and look like they might be a factor in the East?  Not so much anymore.  After getting swept by the Red Sox, they are now 58-70, 23 games out of first.  Guess you probably should have traded Halladay, huh Ricciardi?  This trade deadline, when you had all the leverage.  You think you're getting more for him next year?  No.  Whiffed on your best chance to rebuild around Travis Snider and the guys you could have gotten from Philly.  Have fun in the basement for the next decade, even the Orioles look like they're figured out how to build a team.

4.  Trent Edwards.  Perhaps you recall once reading on this very blog how J.P. Losman was poised for a good year.  Well, I was wrong.  That doesn't mean the Bills have got it figured out yet though, as their starter for this year, Trent Edwards, is looking like all kinds of crap.  Against the Steelers this weekend, Edwards completed just 6 of 13 pass attempts for just 31 yards and tossed a pick that was returned for a Steeler touchdown.  Now, Edwards also had a game this preseason when he was a perfect 10-10, which reminds us that the preseason is generally not overly useful when it comes to evaluating players, but I still feel pretty comfortable saying Trent Edwards sucks.

5.  Michael Cuddyer.  I know you're thinking Cuddy had a hit in all three games this weekend, how could he have sucked?  Well, I'll tell you.  Saturday night, sixth inning, Twins down 2-0.  Runners on 1st and 3rd.  Cuddyer strikes out on a slider outside and in the dirt.  Same game, Twins down to their last out - Cuddy strikes out.  Sunday, Twins down 3-2 in the 8th, two runners on, Cuddyer strikes out on a slider outside and in the dirt.  It's maddening.  Look, I have no major issue with strikeouts.  A lot of very good hitters strike out a lot.  But the way Cuddy does it, he's not even getting beat by the pitcher, he's beating himself because he's either too stupid or too stubborn.  I'm starting to think I could strike him out if I had a 1-2 count on him.  It's enfuriating.