Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Weekend Review - 10/19/2009

I kind of sort of wanted to write about how gopher football sucked this weekend, and a 20-0 whopping by Penn State in which they gained all of 138 yards certainly seems like it might warrant it.  I'm not, though, because I didn't watch the game and although I usually shoot my mouth off without having all the facts, since this is ostensibly a gopher blog, even though it's basketball focused, I'll hold off.  I was going to watch the game, but when I got home from the softball state tournament on Saturday it wasn't on because the Oklahoma/Texas game ran late.  Then when it finally switched over I was busy with WonderbabyTM and then it was halftime and then I fell asleep. Go gophers.


1.  Rodney Williams and Blake Hoffarber.  In case you're completely unaware, the Gophers season officially kicked-off Friday night with Midnight Madness, which in this case is called Tubby's Tip-Off and took place at 7:30.  These two get the nod for their big wins in the dunk and 3-point shootout - go ahead and guess who won which contest.  Perhaps more impressive than the Hoff's win was who the runner-up was - Justin Cobbs.  As good a defender as Al Nolen is, it's no secret to anybody with two eyes that his offense was lacking in a big, big way last season.  If it turns out Cobbs can score, even if he can just knock down an open three, that adds another dimension to the offense.  As for Rodney in the dunk contest, do yourself a favor and watch this:

[Video removed because it kept freaking out my browser. You can find it at From the Barn or Gophersports.com or pretty much anywhere. Just make an effort, fatty.]

Turns out those reports that he was an incredible athlete:  ACCURATE.  Additionally, I've read some reports from people who were there (over at the Gopher Hole) and it sounds like Ralph Sampson has bulked up quite a bit this year.  Combine that with the fact that Ralph can run a mile in under six minutes, which I learned straight from Tubby's mouth on the radio, and I don't really see any way he doesn't run away with Big Ten Player of the Year.

If you want some really detailed info on 3-point totals by round, and a thorough report on the scrimmage,  click your mouse device on this hyperlink.

2.  Hakeem Nicks.  He just keeps being awesome, so I just have to keep highlighting him.  In a suddenly crowded group of NY Giant receivers, Nicks keeps putting up good numbers and might have the highest upside of all of them - and that's no slight on the good Steve Smith.  On Sunday he lit up the Saints for 114 and a touch, making this the third straight week he's found the endzone, and, since Eli had a horrid game in the loss, he accounted for 64% of the team's receiving yards.  Smith and Mario Manningham both have more yards receiving this year than Nicks, partially due to Hakeem missing two and a half weeks due to injury, but it's becoming more and more obvious just how talented this kid is.  Steve Smith might end up with better numbers this year, but Manningham is currently being pushed aside, and neither will end up any near as good as Nicks when all their careers are wrapped up.

3.  Sidney Rice.  This guy is an asshole.  I'm sorry, and normally I don't like to use such coarse language in front of a lady (note:  that's you, nancy-boy), but I am required to hate this guy for screwing two of my fantasy teams (yes, I have more than one, kill me). I drafted him in two leagues, and in one of them when I picked him some jackass piped up with "potential will kill you."  Then after two weeks of nothing and looking like less than an afterthought, I had to drop him to make room for other players who were actually playing well.  Well, since then he's been picked up by other retards in my leagues and scored two TDs in the last four weeks, never dipped below 56 yards receiving, and blew up this weekend with a 6 catch, 176 yard game in the Vikes win.  Yeah, well he's too slow to outrun DBs and got caught from behind on what would have been a 70-yard touchdown, so eat it, guys who picked him up.

4.  LaDainian Tomlinson.  Numbers-wise, at first glance LT's performance last night doesn't look that impressive - 19 carries for 70 yards and 3 catches for 30, but two things are worth noting.  First, Denver's defense has been very, very good this year, particularly against the run.  Tomlinson's 70 rushing yards and the second most a back has managed to put up against the Broncos, just barely behind the 76 yards they allowed to Cedric Benson in week one.  Second, and more importantly, this is more about watching the game than the numbers.  Most of last year and this year, Tomlinson has looked slow, tentative, and was unable to either make people miss or break tackles - very similar to Shaun Alexander down towards the end there, and there was quite a bit of talk about how LT might be done.  Watching last night, it appears he might be heading back - not to the lofty heights he had reached previously, but I think he's far from done.  He was quicker than I had seen him in the last couple of years, making several defenders miss, and was making cuts quickly and decisively, much closer to the good LT than the recent LT.  He's not going to be MVP any time soon, but last night was very encouraging.

5.  The Beer Stars.  That's out softball team, and we are awesome.  Took part in the State Tournament this weekend, and ended up walking out with a nice plaque for finishing in fourth place (out of 63 teams).  Keep in mind, this isn't some kind of pansy-ass single elimination garbage like those sissies in the NCAA Tournament, this is double.  That means in order to finish in fourth, we had to win seven games, finishing up with an impressive 7-2 record that included a win over the (now former) #1 team in the state.  Once we got to the final four, I think we were in a different stratosphere.  The team that bounced us walked up and were drinking nothing but water and gatorade, and had warm-up donuts for their bats as well as those heavy warm up bats for the on-deck circle.  Not quite the same attitude we have, as demonstrated by the name "Beer Stars."  It was an excellent two days.  I think Snacks is the only other Beer Star who reads this blog, but if any of the others are out there - congrats fellas.  We kicked some serious ass.


1.  Sam Bradford.  Let me give you people a bit of advice:  If you ever win a Heisman Trophy and are a guaranteed lock for a 1st round pick in the NFL Draft, just go.  Don't be noble.  Don't be loyal.  Don't be idealistic.  Just go.  I'm guessing Bradford's wishing he had done that after getting hurt for the second time this season on Saturday, and this one looks like there's a pretty good chance we're talking season's over here.  After getting his shoulder ripped in half against BYU in the season opener, he made his big triumphant return on Saturday against Texas in the big ole Red River Rivalry game, managed to sling six passes (completing just two) and then had his shoulder ripped off again.  What will this mean for his career?  I don't know.  It's probably not a career ender or anything, but will a team draft a guy who hurt the same shoulder twice in a season with a first round pick?  Seems doubtful.  We're talking a loss of multiple millions here.  All so he could get up and go to class.  Sucker.   

2.  Terrelle Pryor.  Enough with this guy already.  He's a good runner.  That's it.  He's not Michael Vick.  He's not Pat White.  He's not Vince Young (in college).  He's not even Beau Morgan.  He's more like Reggie Bush than anything else - elusive, fast runner who can help his team with his legs, but he is not a quality QB and he showed it again this weekend against Purdue.  Ohio State went in to West Lafayette and got rolled, 26-18 by a Boiler team that had only one other win on the season (against Toledo).  Pryor managed an incredible four turnovers all on his own, not to mention taking a sack on a third-and-five in Purdue territory late in the game with the Buckeyes down eight, and also managed to rush for just 34 yards on 21 attempts.  He's awful.  But you know what's funny?  I just checked, and he actually has a better QB rating than Adam Weber.  Good work Adam.  You're worse than the college equivalent of Tavaris Jackson.     

3.  Tennessee Titans.  Am I completely crazy, or weren't the Titans supposed to be a Super Bowl type contender this year.  Let me check something.  Yep, that's what I thought - they won their division last year.  Seeing as how they have pretty much the same team as last year, I'm guessing that their current 0-6 record is probably a bit of a shock to pretty much everybody.  Not a shock to me though, since I picked them tho finish third in their division.  What is a shock to me is the stats the Titans put up in Sunday's devastatingly embarrassing 59-0 loss to the Patriots.  It's hard to say what was worse, the offense or the defense.  The offense was so bad, that Vince Young was the leading passer for the Titans with a day of 0-2 for 0 yards.  That's because Kerry Collins somehow managed to 2-12 for -7, I have no idea how, which nets out to a QB rating of 4.9, which I assume is some kind of record and they exact opposite of the day the Titans' D let Tom Brady have:  29-34 for 380 yards and 6 TDs, which is a QB rating of 152.8.  He should probalby be in the Awesome portion of this post, but 1) I hate him, and 2) they pulled him for someone named Brian Hoyer who then went 9-11 for 52 yards in his pro debut.  In conclusion, Tennessee sucks worse than this TV movie with Tori Spelling Mrs. W is currently watching.

4.  Hideki Kuroda.  On Sunday for game 3 of the NLCS, Dodgers' manager Joe Torre had a choice:  go with Kuroda or Chad Billingsley.  They had pretty similar numbers on the season (Kuroda 3.76 ERA, 1.14 WHIP, Billingsley 4.03 and 1.32), and I'm sure there are a bunch of other factors that I don't feel like spending the time to research, but it seems he chose incorrectly and Kuroda got shelled, giving up six runs without bothering to get out of the second inning.  Of course, Billingsley didn't do much better in relief and the offense only managed three hits against Cliff Lee, so none of this really mattered, but there's still a valuable lesson here:  you can't trust commies.  Luckily, thanks to the second amendment, every man has the right to bear arms to protect himself from these commies, and the right to Liberty.  Liberty, if you've forgotten, is the soul's right to breath, and without liberty, man is a syncope.     

5.  John David Booty.  Sad news folks.  It's over.  John David Booty was released from the practice squad by the Vikings on Thursday in order to make room for some irrelevant o-lineman.  Seems a little unfair to get rid of a guy who has never thrown a regular season pass, but nobody said Chilly always makes the right decision.  So you people are going to have to give up on your dreams of having discovered a fifth round gem, and I'm going to have to give up on my dreams of using this picture for anything worthwhile:

So it goes.


klinger said...

Ibid, your honor.

The Todd said...

Um, I realize you have to be in somewhat decent shape to play basketball but how in the hell does running a sub 6:00 minute mile correlate to being POY? If that's the case, Klinger could contend.

snacks said...

Yes, but Klinger has the coordination of a six year old girl. You've seen him play softball.

rghrbek said...

R. Samson III, player of the year? That is laughable. Bulked up or not, he is a finesse player, who can be moved around and beat on a bit.

Fall ball is cool and all, but make it to state (and succeed) in the regular season, then you can really talk smack. My team won state in the Masters division this year (35 and older), then took 2nd in state in the regular division (all ages), and qualified for nationals in rochester, where we got destroyed.
We would destroy you and your poofta team.

rghrbek said...

One more thing. Read your blog on Friday. Like I said after your preview on the WCHA. Where is the scoring going to come from? I stand by that. Offensively they are really challenged.
Schroeder will get so much attention this year, that you should expect his numbers to be way down.

Defensively the gophers, like last year, are turnover machines.

It's early, but I think the gophers do not make the NCAA again this year. Would love to hear your thoughts on Saturday night's performance.

WWWWWW said...

One of you hockey guys want to answer this? Optimator? Snake? Todd?

The Todd said...

I was face deep in poon at the Double Deuce on Saturday night along with Optimator. Completely missed it.

WWWWWW said...


Snake? It was your preview, defend yourself.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure that you don't have to qualify for fall state. You just sign up and play which diminishes their accomplishment even more. It would be like braggging that you just won a family picnic kickball game. Pathetic.

WWWWWW said...

Don't hate, congratulate.

rghrbek said...

Hey, finishing 4th out of 63 teams is good.

I'm not saying that. I am saying I am better though.

I love me!!!!

WWWWWW said...

hrbek, you're gonna fit right in.

klinger said...

I was an integral part of the team (along with Optimator, The Todd, and Snacks) that won the Blaine under-24 Sunday night softball league. Sure we were all 26, and we needed to bring in our ringer 2P to do it, but we won damn it.

darty said...

WWWWW, save your obvious attempt to prop up LT. No one in your league will trade for him. You've already ran him into the ground just like you did with Shaun Alexander.

And seriously, are there really people out there disputing how and when you can talk "smack" about your softball team? The answer is never you losers.

Black Snake said...

Hrbek- They played two games. You will fit right in here because your an idiot who jumps to conclusions after seeing a small sample of games.

Saturdays game? They played good enough to tie. Neither team played well but the gophers at least showed some heart. Once again it was the 2nd game of the year and I am not to worried about things.

W, Booty was resigned on Monday. You are dumberer than Hrbek.

WWWWWW said...

He was?

That's ok, I've been saving that picture for too long anyway.

Anonymous said...

I find it funny that the state can embrace mediocrity from its pro baseball/hockey teams but when it comes to its most successful college hockey program in the state people are up in arms calling for the head of a coach who in 10 seasons has a .652 winning %, 2 nat'l titles, 5 WCHA titles (tournement and reg season). WWWWW would you take those stats for Tubby or Brewster? Would you take the equivalent for Rambis, Richardson or Gardy. My god they would have statues erected in their honor. People need to calm down. The offense will come Hrbie, Schroeder may get more attention but Hoeffel and Barribal will need to step in, guys need to work hard and finish. I think the potential of the offense is limitless. The defense has players added this year that should match the skill they had (ness, fairchild) with the physicality they needed (Helgeson, a tougher Lofquist). Throw in Leddy, Budish and the return of Matson and things really look optimistic. God and what could happen if White and Flynn actually start finding the net and realizing just a little potential. Lets see where they are at come Jan.

just a silly optimist.

Anonymous said...

Richards not Richardson. sorry

WWWWWW said...

That's ok, because I have no idea who you're talking about anyway.

Anonymous said...

don't forget Nico Sacchetti, snakes favorite. Watching him is like watching adults play softball all weekend and then argue about it on a blog, unnecessary and painful.

rghrbek said...


I am an idiot, no argument there. Only two games into the season, yes you are also right.

I watched the Saturday game as well. Better play, but still have the same concerns about where the scoring will come from.

Based on last years performance, and the first two games, I still don't think the gophers are making the NCAA. Nothing is for sure and they have to play the games. Strength of conference will also determine this. That being said, the 4 freshmen are going to have to help in a big way this year.

Snake, I apologize you were offended by my comments and hope you get that dirt out of your vagina soon and feel better.

On a side note, it would be nice to see Marquis Grey (Marquis Grisolm as I like to call him) get a few more snaps. Weber stinks.

WWWWWW said...

According to KFAN, Booty has been cut again.

This is just mean.

JDB said...

Looks like inspiring this site will be Booty's biggest football accomplishment:


WWWWWW said...