Thursday, October 1, 2009

Regression to the Mean is a Cruel Mistress

-  Well, stick a fork in 'em.  You couldn't expect a thoroughly mediocre pitcher like Pavano to shut down the Tigers all season long, so this comes as no huge surprise.  To be fair, and I hate to be fair, they made a hell of a run to even make it a race.

I really thought the biggest mistake tonight was Gardy having Tolbert steal in the second.  The Twins had pounded Bonine in the first inning, and only managed to score two runs due to a nice play at second by Polanco and Santiago and the fact that Morales runs like he has a freight train attached to his ass.  It was to the point where Leyland even had the bullpen up and warming in the first.  His confidence had to be shot.  And then Tolbert leads off the second with a bunt hit.  I can only imagine Bonine was looking over his shoulder, paranoid he was about to be pulled.  Then Gardy sends slow ass Tolbert who gets tossed, clearing the bases and giving Bonine a chance to take a deep breath and feel like he's starting over - and it showed as he retired the next 8 (at least) Twins in order.  Now, it probably didn't matter since Pavano got pounded, but at the time I said it was a huge mistake and it looks like I was right.

In any case, it was a good year.  Kubel finally showed what he's capable of, Cuddy had a nice bounceback year, Mauer showed he is the best hitter in baseball, Morneau was on his way to another awesome season before he got hurt, and Span turned into the prototypical leadoff hitter.  If the pitching comes around, they are set up to be a pretty good team for a while.  We'll see.

-  Oh yeah, Comerica is a very nice park.  Nothing overly special, particularly on the inside, but the outside is very cool with a lot of cool Tiger sculptures and they have nice bronze statues of Kaline, Cobb, Greenberg, and other Tiger greats.  Good place, and our seats in the first row of left field were awesome.  Mid-way through the first, the guys sitting next to us show up and they are without question the drunkest dudes I've ever seen at any sporting event, and that includes me and Snacks.  At one point Kubel was up and the guy next to me says, "Man this team has a lot of lefties" in super slurred language, and then two pitches later Kubel is still up and he says, "ANOTHER lefty, is that all they have."  It was great.  And then in about the third I'm heading to the bathroom and the dude is in front of me and suddenly he turns and pukes all over the wall just outside the bathroom.  Somehow they don't get kicked out then, but in about the 6th, after constant yelling and beer spilling, they end up getting escorted out by security with their hands secured behind their backs.  It was pretty sweet.

I do have to give the guys credit though, at one point they were discussing Inge, and the one guy said, "He's a really good fielder at least, even though he can't hit" and the other guys says, "You know what Inge brings to the team?  Team Spirit." in the proper sarcastic tones for such a statement.  So I salute you super drunk Tiger fans, you may have been annoying idiots, but you definitely had one good line tonight.

-  Spent some time in the great state of Canada today for the trip, which was less thrilling than it sounds.  Turns out Canada is pretty similar to the US, just with more strip clubs, dumber, and dirtier.  Although it was pretty nice to have some guy flip me off not more than five minutes after we crossed the border.  My co-worker was driving and these three dirty canucks were about to cross the street so she slowed down, then they didn't move so she started to drive and then they started to cross so she drove slowly around them.  When we passed, one of the guys started yelling at the car and gesturing, pointing to his head as if to say, "Use your head, woman."  So I gave him a thumbs up when we passed.  When I looked in the rear view mirror, sure enough, he was giving me the ole salute.  Nice country.

As far as the border crossing goes, to get into Canada they look at your passports and let you in.  To get into the U.S., they ask about fifty questions, seach your car, trunk, and bags, and practically give you a full on interrogation.  They asked what we were doing, we said shopping, she said, "You've been shopping for three hours and you didn't buy anything" and then we said, "We work for a company in the U.S. and wanted to check out some of the Canadian stores to see what was different", and she's like, "Oh, do you do that often" and back and forth for like ten minutes.  It was nerve-wracking, and we didn't do anything wrong.  Man, I'd be a total mess if I was ever interrogated for anything for real. I was ready to confess to anything this lady wanted me to. Andy Dufresne I am not.

- If you go to a diner to get breakfast in Canada, if you order bacon what do you get? Do you get what we call Canadian Bacon and have to ask for American bacon to get the good kind of bacon? Seriously, I want to know.

- Speaking of strip clubs, we spent a lot more time in Detroit today as well, and let me tell you there are only three kinds of buildings in that city: out-of-business and condemned, restaurants advertising Coney Islands, and strip clubs. That's it. I don't know what the obsession is with Coney Islands, but it's insane. I don't think they even have a normal restaurant. The strip clubs were pervasive as well. My two favorite signs were "Free Chicken Dinner Thursdays" and "Thursday - Lesbian Night." I'm totally not making these up.

-  With the Twins eliminated from the tournament of baseball, I've decided to swing my allegiances over to the Rockies, mainly because of our very own Helton guy.  Here's what I know:
  • Helton has had a good career and a good year, but has essentially been stealing money from the team for years.
  • Marquis is the ace, but he's not really all that good
  • Tulowitzski is the next Cal Ripken
  • Iannetta and Stewart are both hot shot prospects who are basically poor man's Adam Dunns right now
  • Barmes is Adam Dunn without the walks
  • Garret Atkins sucks and it's a damn good thing the Twins didn't trade for him
  • Carlos Gonzalez is everything we want Carlos Gomez to be.
  • Ubaldo Jimenez, who I thought was not going to end up being very good after watching him in the Series, has turned out to be pretty good
  • Huston Street can still close ball games
  • Joe Biemel is a lefty Rod Beck, and Matt Daly is Pat Neshek
  • Contreras is 100 years old, but is getting it done
  • Hammel has maybe salvaged his career after sucking in the AL
  • Aaron Cook is still the same Aaron Cook
Please let me know what else I need to know and what I may have been wrong on.  Let's keep trucking to Rocktober baby.  Rocktober.

-  Tonights post is brought to you by that girl from the awesome kick ass movie Saved!  No, I'm not talking about the super hot Jena Malone or the hot Mandy Moore.  Nope, I'm talking about Susan Sarandon's daughter Eva Amurri, who played Cassandra and was sort of terrifying and unattractive, so you probably think I'm a weirdo.  Well she's all grown up now, and I would love to supply a picture but for some reason the computer isn't letting me.  Well just google her.  Trust me.

-  So I cant' upload that picture, but I can upload others.  So go ahead and gaze at this picture of Audrina as a consolation prize, but it's really the winner.  God I love her.

-  Lastly, and most importantly, guess who's back.


SSF said...

You have to ask for "back bacon" honest to God. Canada can suck it. They are ALL aholes.

Dharma Bum said...

Were those Thursday specials at the same place? Free chicken and lesbians are my two favorite things. Also, was this the picture you were trying to upload?

WWWWWW said...

No and no.

Dawg said...

Lets go Peavy, Lets go! If Peavy can mow the Tigers down again tonight and we tear the Royals apart we are looking at down 1 with 2 to go. Optimism is currently medium. As long as WWW the jynx doesn't show up to any of the last 3 remaining games I feel that the Twins have a shot.

WWWWWW said...

I have a ticket to Sunday's game.

SSF said...

Take me

Dawg said...

If the Twins are 1 game back or tied by Sunday, please give that ticket to somebody else.

When you went to the Twins/Tigers game did you show up in the 2nd inning? Just wondering because that is when the wheels started coming off.

Helton said...

Phenomenal break down of the Rocks. Word on the street is that Marquis and his gayness are going to be relegated to the pen for the playoffs meaning we will see Ubaldo, DeLarosa, and Cook. Also Ianetta has been relegated to starting only day games/pinch hitting and Yorvit T has been hitting like Mauer, accept much less power, lower avg and a terrible arm, other than that though it is like a Venzuelan Joey M. Not bad for a guy who had his son kidnapped earlier in the year.

Now a little sweep of LA means I go to two games next week, but alas Marquis is pitching Sunday so certain failure is imminent.

SSF said...

Someone got their feelings hurt and blew up over the blog again.
PS. I think WWWW should ban Dawg from DWG for being such a sensi bitch. Thoughts?

Anonymous said...

SSF, I'm surprised you let Dawg tell you what to do considering you are like a foot taller than he is and could probably kick his ass.

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