I'm not really in a huge mood to post anything, mainly because I'm a bit wiped out from a long week culminating in a presentation to our Executive Vice President of Global Sales (which I nailed), partially because I am sleepy from a great meal (Calamari, Caesar Salad, peppercorn encrusted swordfish with fennel and some sort of really good bean mash but I unfortunately don't remember the kind of bean), and partially because I hate all of you, but there are a couple of minor things that need to be mentioned here. Not the Adrian Peterson speeding thing or the Tiger Woods thing, because who really gives a crap, seriously?
- Please note: Despite being a Gopher Basketball blog there will be no gopher basketball talk in this post. Mainly because there seems to be some sort of bizarre lustful longing for Travis Busch infecting this fan base and I don't trust myself to write about this rationally after three Ketel One & Tonics and now another vodka & diet coke (with lime). I just can't do it. People pining for him like Screech for Lisa really hurts my soul. How dare you people let me down like that. And after all I do for you. This is just like the Fashion Show episode.
- First off, a bit of Twins hot-stove talk, or more accurately, other teams crushing my dreams. If you remember, I was very high on the Twins grabbing Placido Polanco to play second base next year but was a bit bummed when he was designated a Type-A free agent, figuring the Twins would never sign him because they would never give up a draft pick. Then the Tigers declined to offer him arbitration, thus removing that draft pick consideration and making him more attractive to the Twins and making me excited. But then I was once again rendered flaccid when I read earlier today that Polanco was stolen away by the hated Phillies. They picked him up for 3-years, $18 million, which is pretty close to what I was hoping the Twins would get him for (I was hoping for 2 years, $10 million but I would have been fine with this). Talk about playing with my emotions. Consider me fully bummed. First Iwamura, now Polanco - it's time to turn my affections to Adrian Beltre I guess, but it sounds more and more like he mind end up back with the M's.
- In other Twins news the team did a bit of roster reshuffling regarding the upcoming rule-5 draft. That is an event where any player not on a team's 40-man roster and meeting certain eligibility requirements that I have neither the time, inclination, or understanding to get into can be plucked off that team's roster as long as the picking team keeps him on the major league roster for the entire next season (this is how the Twins got Johan - sorry Marlins). There were a few moves, all of which are detailed over at Aarongleeman.com, but the one that stands out to me is that Brian Buscher is not on the 40-man roster. And he's eligible to be picked. Do you understand? Any team can grab Buscher right off the Twins roster for basically free. I don't think I have to tell you how awesome that would be.
- In case you're wondering if there's anybody interesting that other teams have made available, I don't really know. There are some interesting cases, such as White Sox 2006 first round pick Kyle McCulloch or the Astros' Koby Clemens (yes, Roger's kid) who led the minor leagues in RBI last season. I don't much feel like digging up minor league stats right now, but feel free to do your own research on who might be available and why they are interesting and then email me. I probably won't credit you or anything, but I'll post it and deep down inside you'll know you did the research - and isn't that the best feeling of all?
- Hey, there's a Donkey Kong Kill Screen coming up here, if you're interested.
Showing posts with label Placido Polanco. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Placido Polanco. Show all posts
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Twins Talk
Since we unfortunately have a night off from college buckets, and at least one reader is clamoring for Twins roster speculation as seen by the bordering on obsessive comment left earlier today, I'll go ahead and take a look at what some of the rumors out there surrounding the Twins this offseason.
In no particular order, other than the order their names jumped into my head.
- Akinori Iwamura, written about here previously, is no longer an option, seeing as he was traded to Pittsburgh. It's a bit perplexing, because the Pirates aren't going anywhere any time soon, and they had to trade a young semi-promising middle relief prospect in order to pay him $4 million for one year. It's also disappointing because that's cheap as hell for his production and I'd be willing to bet the Twins could have gotten him for like, Armando Gabino (who was plucked away by the Orioles off waivers, by the way). Anyway, it's not happening, so it's time to move on.
- Lovely reader Kate, who was the first one to turn me on to Iwamura, has indeed moved on, and is "literally drooling" over the thought of Adrian Beltre on the Twins (her words, not mine), and we've made no secret of our Beltre love here at DWG before. There is a lot that points to this being a possibility, including this article where mlbtraderumors.com predicts Beltre will end up a Twin, and the fact that he is a Type B free agent means the Twins won't have to give up a draft pick to sign him. The sort of large negative here is that Beltre actually had the Twins on his "no trade clause" list. Beltre had his worst hitting season as a pro and nearly lost a gonad (that's not a joke), but he's still intriguing and would look awfully nice on the hot corner if he is affordable. I'd love to see a 2 year/$5 million per, but I have no idea what the market will be.
- Speaking of the market for 3b, you can go ahead and forget about Chone Figgins, he's going to be the hottest property out there, and there's no chance you're going to see the Twins in a bidding war for him.
- Hell, as long as we're listing people for you to forget about, let's add John Lackey to the list as well. Not only is he a type A - meaning if the Twins were to sign him they would have to give up their first round pick next year, something they would never do, but because he's the top pitcher on the market. That means teams like the Yankees and Red Sox will be after him, and that means that contract will end up being more than the Twins' payroll. So, sorry PA who continually talks up Lackey to the Twins, get your head out of the clouds (and your ass) - it ain't happening. No way, no how.
- One free agent pitcher who does have a shot at winding up here is Rich Harden, an immensely talent yet injury prone pitcher who has only pitched more than 25 games in a season twice in his six years, although one of those was last year. There's no doubt he would be a huge risk, but there's also no doubt he has the talent to be a front of the rotation starter if he stays healthy. I wouldn't invest a lot of money or a lot of years, but if they can get him to sign an incentive-laden deal he could end up being a huge steal.
- As far as other middle infielders go, two names I had heard as possibilities, Marco Scutaro and Placido Polanco, both suddenly got a lot less likely with the announcement that they are both type-A guys. I'm actually glad that's how it shook out for Scutaro, because although I like his multi-positionalness and knowledge of the strike zone, I can't shake the feeling that he's a utility guy who had a career year. I am bummed, however, about Polanco, who I was really hoping the Twins would end up signing to a two or three year deal. This really reduces the odds he ends up here, since I can't see the Twins getting rid of a first round pick to sign a 34-year old for two years. The rule is meant to help smaller market teams, and it works in a lot of cases, but this time the team getting screwed is the small market.
- One guy who was helped by the classification was Mark DeRosa, who, it was thought, would be a type A but ended up a type B, greatley expanding the pool of teams who will be looking at him. The Twins showed some interest in him last season, and I would guess they take another look at him this winter. His numbers absolutely plummeted last year after his trade to the National League, and he's 34 years old with just two seasons better than league average in his career, so I'm inclined to pass.
- Common commenter and former contributor Dawger mentioned that the Twins should look into signing Miguel Tejada. If you ever wonder why we question his baseball (and all sports, really) acumen, this should be all you need to know. Actually, that's a bit harsh. If he can play second base (I don't know the answer to this) and they can get him for a similar deal to the one Crede signed, I guess that would be ok.
- Turning our attention to pitching, the one interesting thing I read is that the Texas Rangers feel they have a surplus of pitching (seriously, the Rangers) and could be looking to move Brandon McCarthy - yes, the same McCarthy who was a failed prospect with the White Sox, but is now starting to look pretty good for Texas. I have no idea what the price would be, and I actually need to do a lot more research on this before I decide if I'm excited or not. For now, color me intrigued with a chance of arousal - just like your mom last time I was at your house.
- As far as free agent pitchers go, outside of Harden the only name I've heard connected to the Twins at all is Jarrod Washburn (and Lackey, if you count jackasses who work for KFAN and are less well informed than my dad when it comes to his computer), and the only other name that has perked my interest a tad was J.J. Putz. Washburn feels like the town strumpet at this point, and has either been with every team or been rumored to be with every team at this point. I'm having a lot of trouble getting even remotely excited about him (unlike Dawger at wrestling practice) and would need to hear a solid argument from someone else. Putz, on the other hand, was bought out by the Mets and so would have no compensation issues, and is just two years removed from being a lights-out closer (and was a good set up guy last year). Again, the market will dictate whether or not the Twins should go after him, but he's worth a look. I like to compare the Twins' bullpen to God - I have no faith.
- Lastly, tell me freaking Melvin Mora doesn't feel like exactly like the kind of guy the Twins would sign to play third. Yuck.
- That's really all I have for free agents, but if you want to take a look at the guys the Twins have exclusive rights to - Pavano, Cabrera, Redmond, Crede, and Mahay - and really the only interesting guy here is Pavano. I'd right stuff, but instead just go here to Nick's Twins blog where he writes a whole lot more than I care or have the abililty to about this Pavano dealie. Under no circumstances should Redmond be resigned, and Mahay is meh. Cabrera has no place here, yet the papers continue to say he could be signed if he would play second solely because he had a nice 15-game stretch and people desperately want to believe in "clutch" - he's as good as gone. Crede is the only other possibility I'd entertain resigning. After yet another year torpedoed by injuries, the market for him is likely to be even lower than last season. Would he sign here for one year, $1 million? $2 million? Seriously, if he would sign for that kind of money he's a no-brainer. Hell, even 2 years at $2 million per year is probably worth it.
- The last thing is trades, and if you are seriously contemplating trading Nathan, Morneau, or Mauer (I'm talking to you anonymous poster) you are dumber than Audrina (although not nearly as hot). None of them should be traded (and I assume the Mauer part is shtick) unless somebody comes up to Billy Smith and seriously blows his skirt up with an offer. Although imagine the offer they could get for Mauer. What if the Rangers offered Neftali Feliz, Justin Smoak, Elvis Andrus, Taylor Teagarden, and Brandon McCarthy? Seriously. You would have to take that. But that's the kind of thing I'm talking about. Other than that, you shouldn't trade any of those three, unless you can somehow get Joakim Soria in some way.
- The very last thing I'll say, is that the Brewers tried to get either Adam Lind or Travis Snider from the Blue Jays or Clay Buchholz from the Red Sox for J.J. Hardy before settling for Carlos Gomez. Wow. That is like trying to get with Lindsay Lohan circa 2004 and ending with this recent trainwrecky and not in a good way version. Also, as I close this post, that reminds me that I mentioned Audrina somewhere up above and as such, this must now happen:
That was her when we left the bar the other night. You all have a nice day.
In no particular order, other than the order their names jumped into my head.
- Akinori Iwamura, written about here previously, is no longer an option, seeing as he was traded to Pittsburgh. It's a bit perplexing, because the Pirates aren't going anywhere any time soon, and they had to trade a young semi-promising middle relief prospect in order to pay him $4 million for one year. It's also disappointing because that's cheap as hell for his production and I'd be willing to bet the Twins could have gotten him for like, Armando Gabino (who was plucked away by the Orioles off waivers, by the way). Anyway, it's not happening, so it's time to move on.
- Lovely reader Kate, who was the first one to turn me on to Iwamura, has indeed moved on, and is "literally drooling" over the thought of Adrian Beltre on the Twins (her words, not mine), and we've made no secret of our Beltre love here at DWG before. There is a lot that points to this being a possibility, including this article where mlbtraderumors.com predicts Beltre will end up a Twin, and the fact that he is a Type B free agent means the Twins won't have to give up a draft pick to sign him. The sort of large negative here is that Beltre actually had the Twins on his "no trade clause" list. Beltre had his worst hitting season as a pro and nearly lost a gonad (that's not a joke), but he's still intriguing and would look awfully nice on the hot corner if he is affordable. I'd love to see a 2 year/$5 million per, but I have no idea what the market will be.
- Speaking of the market for 3b, you can go ahead and forget about Chone Figgins, he's going to be the hottest property out there, and there's no chance you're going to see the Twins in a bidding war for him.
- Hell, as long as we're listing people for you to forget about, let's add John Lackey to the list as well. Not only is he a type A - meaning if the Twins were to sign him they would have to give up their first round pick next year, something they would never do, but because he's the top pitcher on the market. That means teams like the Yankees and Red Sox will be after him, and that means that contract will end up being more than the Twins' payroll. So, sorry PA who continually talks up Lackey to the Twins, get your head out of the clouds (and your ass) - it ain't happening. No way, no how.
- One free agent pitcher who does have a shot at winding up here is Rich Harden, an immensely talent yet injury prone pitcher who has only pitched more than 25 games in a season twice in his six years, although one of those was last year. There's no doubt he would be a huge risk, but there's also no doubt he has the talent to be a front of the rotation starter if he stays healthy. I wouldn't invest a lot of money or a lot of years, but if they can get him to sign an incentive-laden deal he could end up being a huge steal.
- As far as other middle infielders go, two names I had heard as possibilities, Marco Scutaro and Placido Polanco, both suddenly got a lot less likely with the announcement that they are both type-A guys. I'm actually glad that's how it shook out for Scutaro, because although I like his multi-positionalness and knowledge of the strike zone, I can't shake the feeling that he's a utility guy who had a career year. I am bummed, however, about Polanco, who I was really hoping the Twins would end up signing to a two or three year deal. This really reduces the odds he ends up here, since I can't see the Twins getting rid of a first round pick to sign a 34-year old for two years. The rule is meant to help smaller market teams, and it works in a lot of cases, but this time the team getting screwed is the small market.
- One guy who was helped by the classification was Mark DeRosa, who, it was thought, would be a type A but ended up a type B, greatley expanding the pool of teams who will be looking at him. The Twins showed some interest in him last season, and I would guess they take another look at him this winter. His numbers absolutely plummeted last year after his trade to the National League, and he's 34 years old with just two seasons better than league average in his career, so I'm inclined to pass.
- Common commenter and former contributor Dawger mentioned that the Twins should look into signing Miguel Tejada. If you ever wonder why we question his baseball (and all sports, really) acumen, this should be all you need to know. Actually, that's a bit harsh. If he can play second base (I don't know the answer to this) and they can get him for a similar deal to the one Crede signed, I guess that would be ok.
- Turning our attention to pitching, the one interesting thing I read is that the Texas Rangers feel they have a surplus of pitching (seriously, the Rangers) and could be looking to move Brandon McCarthy - yes, the same McCarthy who was a failed prospect with the White Sox, but is now starting to look pretty good for Texas. I have no idea what the price would be, and I actually need to do a lot more research on this before I decide if I'm excited or not. For now, color me intrigued with a chance of arousal - just like your mom last time I was at your house.
- As far as free agent pitchers go, outside of Harden the only name I've heard connected to the Twins at all is Jarrod Washburn (and Lackey, if you count jackasses who work for KFAN and are less well informed than my dad when it comes to his computer), and the only other name that has perked my interest a tad was J.J. Putz. Washburn feels like the town strumpet at this point, and has either been with every team or been rumored to be with every team at this point. I'm having a lot of trouble getting even remotely excited about him (unlike Dawger at wrestling practice) and would need to hear a solid argument from someone else. Putz, on the other hand, was bought out by the Mets and so would have no compensation issues, and is just two years removed from being a lights-out closer (and was a good set up guy last year). Again, the market will dictate whether or not the Twins should go after him, but he's worth a look. I like to compare the Twins' bullpen to God - I have no faith.
- Lastly, tell me freaking Melvin Mora doesn't feel like exactly like the kind of guy the Twins would sign to play third. Yuck.
- That's really all I have for free agents, but if you want to take a look at the guys the Twins have exclusive rights to - Pavano, Cabrera, Redmond, Crede, and Mahay - and really the only interesting guy here is Pavano. I'd right stuff, but instead just go here to Nick's Twins blog where he writes a whole lot more than I care or have the abililty to about this Pavano dealie. Under no circumstances should Redmond be resigned, and Mahay is meh. Cabrera has no place here, yet the papers continue to say he could be signed if he would play second solely because he had a nice 15-game stretch and people desperately want to believe in "clutch" - he's as good as gone. Crede is the only other possibility I'd entertain resigning. After yet another year torpedoed by injuries, the market for him is likely to be even lower than last season. Would he sign here for one year, $1 million? $2 million? Seriously, if he would sign for that kind of money he's a no-brainer. Hell, even 2 years at $2 million per year is probably worth it.
- The last thing is trades, and if you are seriously contemplating trading Nathan, Morneau, or Mauer (I'm talking to you anonymous poster) you are dumber than Audrina (although not nearly as hot). None of them should be traded (and I assume the Mauer part is shtick) unless somebody comes up to Billy Smith and seriously blows his skirt up with an offer. Although imagine the offer they could get for Mauer. What if the Rangers offered Neftali Feliz, Justin Smoak, Elvis Andrus, Taylor Teagarden, and Brandon McCarthy? Seriously. You would have to take that. But that's the kind of thing I'm talking about. Other than that, you shouldn't trade any of those three, unless you can somehow get Joakim Soria in some way.
- The very last thing I'll say, is that the Brewers tried to get either Adam Lind or Travis Snider from the Blue Jays or Clay Buchholz from the Red Sox for J.J. Hardy before settling for Carlos Gomez. Wow. That is like trying to get with Lindsay Lohan circa 2004 and ending with this recent trainwrecky and not in a good way version. Also, as I close this post, that reminds me that I mentioned Audrina somewhere up above and as such, this must now happen:
That was her when we left the bar the other night. You all have a nice day.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Twins v. Gay Sox
Hey folks, with the Twins making a run at the stupid little Tigers, I figured I might as well tackle doing a blog of tonight's tilt against the hated White Sox. Of course, it's a little difficult because Mrs. W is actually in control of the remote on Tuesday nights on account of The Biggest Loser about fat people crying a lot, I think. So what am I to do? I'm streaming the game using Stream Torrent. What's Stream Torrent? I have no idea, but it means I can watch the game. I might be downloading several different viruses which are stealing my identity as we speak, but dammit I can watch the game.
- Span out tonight with a mild concussion, which sucks but is probably a best case scenario after getting hit by a projectile moving 90 mph in the melon. Gomez in and, is Gardy's style, plugged right into the spot of the guy he's replacing. He hasn't been playing much lately, but the improvement he's shown this year gives me hope.
- And right off the bat he shows why I'm starting to have faith in him, drawing a walk. I'd be willing to bet Gardy goes with a bunt here with Cabrera.
- Nevermind, Cabrera unloads on one for a 2-run home run in what must be just his second or so homer since joining the Twins. That moron PA spent an entire segment this morning discussing if the Twins should re-sign Cabrera after this season. No, of course they shouldn't. He'll be 35 next season, and will probably get at least $3 million a year to give you the exact same skills you are already getting from Brendan Harris, only more ethnic. And you could resign Harris for half or a third what you'd need to get Cabrera. You'd probably like that, racist.
- Yet another Kubel double (that guy is better than Jesus at hitting, FYI), a Cuddy single, and a sac fly by Delmon and it's 3-0 Twins already. I just checked and the Tigers are winning 1-0 in the fourth. Come on Cleveland.
- A lead off walk to Podsednik, one of the worst hitters in baseball history and a notorious hacker who never walks. This is a less than inspiring start for Mr. Manship. Although I was expecting the Twins to need about six runs tonight anyway, so my world hasn't been exactly rocked.
- Sure enough, pillow-biter Pods steals second, moves up to third on a grounder and scores on a grounder. I wish I had sound right now, because I'd be willing to bet that the Hawk is extolling the virtues of small ball right now and holding up the Twins as the ideal of that philosophy, despite the fact that they rank 13th in the majors in homers, 19th in steals, and 20th in sac bunts. Note: that's not small ball. Note2: small ball is for girls and queers.
- Just having Matt Tolbert in the lineup makes me physically ill. It must be terrifying for Danks to get to the end of the lineup and have to face that Harris/Tolbert/Punto bottom of the lineup (Harris is DHing for some reaosn that I can't come up with). It's like the old Yankee teams, who were forced to trot out Tony Lazzeri, Joe Sewell, and Bill Dickey at the end of their order.
- A nice 1-2-3 second inning for Manship with no balls particularly hit hard. I literally can't remember if I've been impressed by Manship or not. Like, seriously, somehow I can't remember watching him pitch, even though I know I've seen him multiple times. Odd.
- I just found out Placido Polanco (Det still up 1-0, now in the seventh) is a free agent after this year and the Tigers might not sign him. How good would he look in a Twins uniform? Based on his last contract (4 years, $4.6 million per year), his age (34), his production (declining), and the economy (toilet), I'd be they could get him for 2 years, $8 million. Think about it.
- Alex Rios just parked one about 10,000 feet to make it a 3-2 game. There is no way 3 runs are going to hold up with Manship pitching. And now Scottie Podsednik just got on base - again. I'd be willing to bet he hasn't been on base twice in the same game more than three times this year.
- Two run home run for David Beckham. 4-3 White Sox. Is Manship really all we have as an option here for a pennant drive? I'd rather toss Liriano out there. Incidentally, just how far has Liriano fallen that I have to explain I'm not kidding that I'd rather have him than Man "look at how far that ball goes the other way" ship.
- Two more singles, and I get my wish, here comes Liriano. Actually, my wish was that somebody could pitch decently tonight. That's also a lie, my real wish is that Sarah Michelle Gellar would show up on my doorstep in a babydoll nightie with a bottle ofchampagne vodka, feathered handcuffs, some sort of edible body lotion, and a bucket of chicken wings.
- While I was typing that Liriano got out of the inning. Now Cuddyer, the next Morneau, leads off the inning with a double. They need to get him home to tie it up. Delmoney, Harris, and Tolbert don't fill me with confidence.
- Delmoney with an infield hit on a Baltimore chop-style hit, which reminds me in a lot of ways getting rid of the metrodome is going to suck. Not just because the Twins are more comfortable there than any other team, what with the roof and the baggie and all the other intricacies, but because of the mental advantage they have over the Sox and the Tigers. Players don't say much, but Ozzie Guillen, the Sox announcers, and the fans on both sides are all convinced they can't win in the dome, and the records bear that out. Make no mistake, the Twins will be giving up a significant home field advantage next season and beyond. They should be able to make up that difference, however, by spending more on free agents. Ha ha. I'm kididng of course. Their won't be any additional monies spent to bring in talent.
- Harris gets the run home by grounding into a double play. So it's tied at 4-4, but that wasn't exactly awe-inspiring. Also, Jason Bartlett probably goes yard there. Just saying.
- Mrs. W made Caramel-Apple Banana Bread tonight, and it's becoming increasingly clear to me that she's not all that bright (hi honey) because she is complaining that all she can taste is the banana. There are clearly strong apple and caramel flavors, and the banana taste is actually quite minor. I guess not everyone can be the kind of banana bread connoisseur I am. I could be a banana bread sommelier, no joke. Oh, you're having the filet mignon au poivre tonight? Let me recommend the banana bread with either walnuts or macadamia nuts. Grilled Salmon with Asparagus? You'd probably have a good time with the cream cheese banana bread. Although everyone knows banana bread with chocolate chips is the best, right?
- In case you're wondering, suddenly my internet feed isn't working. According to the always exciting yahoo gametracker, the Twins managed to take the lead after a Cabrera walk and a Mauer double. By the way, it seems the national media is ALL on board with Mauer definitely being the MVP. We'll see. I trust the national media less than I trust The Todd around a burrito.
- Also I want to mention here that it appears Dawger and Super Sioux Fan (and baby Dawger) will be coming over to the W casa on Sunday for a little Vikings/Twins/food day. And also probably my murder. If SSF does kill me, somebody throw out the shoe box under my side of the bed. Don't open it. Just throw it out.
- Liriano walks Beckham with one out (internet feed is back). This guy is still so afraid to throw a strike. It sucks, and this is the exact same thing that happened to my dad in the early 70s. Hot shot prospect gets hurt, career never the same - or in his case, over. If the pattern repeats itself Liriano will one day be a math teacher with one child who is a lawyer and another who is a drunken blogger. Geez, dad. Sorry.
- I think I see why he hates throwing strikes, because he just threw one and Konerko Konorked it about 400 feet. Luckily the wall is at 401 so it's just a double, but it's still 5-5 and both Liriano and my self-esteem are in the toilet.
- The TV claims Liriano just hit 95 on the radar gun. I call so much bullshit, like Zack Morris talking to Belding levels here.
- Jessie Crain on his way to the mound. That's always the answer.
- Ok, he got the last out. Also that necklace is fabulous.
- Cuddyer with ANOTHER home run. Talk about rising to the occasion. This is incredible. Looking at home runs only. Which as we all know are the most impressive thing about baseball.
- I think my internet feed is messed up. It looks like Matt Tolbert just went yard. That can't be, can it? Weird how this feed is still running fine, but made somebody else look like a weiner with giant nostrils. Never really seen that before.
- Cabrera just made a play going to his right and doing that gay Jeter jump throw. That better be on sportscenter as a great play, and then replayed for years. We also should start calling Cabrera "the Captain" and a "True Twin", as well as maybe consider giving him an MVP as like a lifetime achievement award.
- 1-2-3 inning for Crain as we roll to the 7th. Think about that. What are the odds?
- Tiggers won. Can't afford to give this one away.
- Mijares out to throw the seventh. I assume this means we'll see either Rauch or Guerrier in the 8th. I also want to use this space to admit that Matt Guerrier has had an awesome year and I didn't realize it. WHIP of 0.91, ERA 2.18, and 70 innings in the books? That's Paul Quantrill like, man. I mean that is straight up awesome. And I wrote this right before he is probably going to pitch an important 8th. Good on me.
- Shocker! Fatties are crying on The Biggest Loser. Fatties. Are. Crying.
- KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!
- We're going with Guerrier here. Hopefully the DWG jinx is no longer in affect.
- First batter is Konerko. He konorks one over the fence. DWG jinx looking strong. Still 8-6 Twins.
- Mrs. W just told me Sarah Michelle Gellar had a baby today. Freddie Prinze's baby. For both of these reasons, let's substittue Christina Aguilera in my dream scenario above.
- No runs in the 9th for the Twins. Nathan in. 61 innings this year, 81 strikeouts, 39 hits. Holy god.
- That was deceptively easy. Twins win again. With the Tigers win, they remain 2.5 back. The one big thing on the Twins side? The Tigers are on the cover of SI. I don't believe in curses (other than the Curse of King Tut, the Curse of the Billy Goat, and throwing salt over your shoulder if you spill it), but I think it's pretty obvious the Tigers are screwed. Just keep winning twinkies, just keep winning.
- Span out tonight with a mild concussion, which sucks but is probably a best case scenario after getting hit by a projectile moving 90 mph in the melon. Gomez in and, is Gardy's style, plugged right into the spot of the guy he's replacing. He hasn't been playing much lately, but the improvement he's shown this year gives me hope.
- And right off the bat he shows why I'm starting to have faith in him, drawing a walk. I'd be willing to bet Gardy goes with a bunt here with Cabrera.
- Nevermind, Cabrera unloads on one for a 2-run home run in what must be just his second or so homer since joining the Twins. That moron PA spent an entire segment this morning discussing if the Twins should re-sign Cabrera after this season. No, of course they shouldn't. He'll be 35 next season, and will probably get at least $3 million a year to give you the exact same skills you are already getting from Brendan Harris, only more ethnic. And you could resign Harris for half or a third what you'd need to get Cabrera. You'd probably like that, racist.
- Yet another Kubel double (that guy is better than Jesus at hitting, FYI), a Cuddy single, and a sac fly by Delmon and it's 3-0 Twins already. I just checked and the Tigers are winning 1-0 in the fourth. Come on Cleveland.
- A lead off walk to Podsednik, one of the worst hitters in baseball history and a notorious hacker who never walks. This is a less than inspiring start for Mr. Manship. Although I was expecting the Twins to need about six runs tonight anyway, so my world hasn't been exactly rocked.
- Sure enough, pillow-biter Pods steals second, moves up to third on a grounder and scores on a grounder. I wish I had sound right now, because I'd be willing to bet that the Hawk is extolling the virtues of small ball right now and holding up the Twins as the ideal of that philosophy, despite the fact that they rank 13th in the majors in homers, 19th in steals, and 20th in sac bunts. Note: that's not small ball. Note2: small ball is for girls and queers.
- Just having Matt Tolbert in the lineup makes me physically ill. It must be terrifying for Danks to get to the end of the lineup and have to face that Harris/Tolbert/Punto bottom of the lineup (Harris is DHing for some reaosn that I can't come up with). It's like the old Yankee teams, who were forced to trot out Tony Lazzeri, Joe Sewell, and Bill Dickey at the end of their order.
- A nice 1-2-3 second inning for Manship with no balls particularly hit hard. I literally can't remember if I've been impressed by Manship or not. Like, seriously, somehow I can't remember watching him pitch, even though I know I've seen him multiple times. Odd.
- I just found out Placido Polanco (Det still up 1-0, now in the seventh) is a free agent after this year and the Tigers might not sign him. How good would he look in a Twins uniform? Based on his last contract (4 years, $4.6 million per year), his age (34), his production (declining), and the economy (toilet), I'd be they could get him for 2 years, $8 million. Think about it.
- Alex Rios just parked one about 10,000 feet to make it a 3-2 game. There is no way 3 runs are going to hold up with Manship pitching. And now Scottie Podsednik just got on base - again. I'd be willing to bet he hasn't been on base twice in the same game more than three times this year.
- Two run home run for David Beckham. 4-3 White Sox. Is Manship really all we have as an option here for a pennant drive? I'd rather toss Liriano out there. Incidentally, just how far has Liriano fallen that I have to explain I'm not kidding that I'd rather have him than Man "look at how far that ball goes the other way" ship.
- Two more singles, and I get my wish, here comes Liriano. Actually, my wish was that somebody could pitch decently tonight. That's also a lie, my real wish is that Sarah Michelle Gellar would show up on my doorstep in a babydoll nightie with a bottle of
- While I was typing that Liriano got out of the inning. Now Cuddyer, the next Morneau, leads off the inning with a double. They need to get him home to tie it up. Delmoney, Harris, and Tolbert don't fill me with confidence.
- Delmoney with an infield hit on a Baltimore chop-style hit, which reminds me in a lot of ways getting rid of the metrodome is going to suck. Not just because the Twins are more comfortable there than any other team, what with the roof and the baggie and all the other intricacies, but because of the mental advantage they have over the Sox and the Tigers. Players don't say much, but Ozzie Guillen, the Sox announcers, and the fans on both sides are all convinced they can't win in the dome, and the records bear that out. Make no mistake, the Twins will be giving up a significant home field advantage next season and beyond. They should be able to make up that difference, however, by spending more on free agents. Ha ha. I'm kididng of course. Their won't be any additional monies spent to bring in talent.
- Harris gets the run home by grounding into a double play. So it's tied at 4-4, but that wasn't exactly awe-inspiring. Also, Jason Bartlett probably goes yard there. Just saying.
- Mrs. W made Caramel-Apple Banana Bread tonight, and it's becoming increasingly clear to me that she's not all that bright (hi honey) because she is complaining that all she can taste is the banana. There are clearly strong apple and caramel flavors, and the banana taste is actually quite minor. I guess not everyone can be the kind of banana bread connoisseur I am. I could be a banana bread sommelier, no joke. Oh, you're having the filet mignon au poivre tonight? Let me recommend the banana bread with either walnuts or macadamia nuts. Grilled Salmon with Asparagus? You'd probably have a good time with the cream cheese banana bread. Although everyone knows banana bread with chocolate chips is the best, right?
- In case you're wondering, suddenly my internet feed isn't working. According to the always exciting yahoo gametracker, the Twins managed to take the lead after a Cabrera walk and a Mauer double. By the way, it seems the national media is ALL on board with Mauer definitely being the MVP. We'll see. I trust the national media less than I trust The Todd around a burrito.
- Also I want to mention here that it appears Dawger and Super Sioux Fan (and baby Dawger) will be coming over to the W casa on Sunday for a little Vikings/Twins/food day. And also probably my murder. If SSF does kill me, somebody throw out the shoe box under my side of the bed. Don't open it. Just throw it out.
- Liriano walks Beckham with one out (internet feed is back). This guy is still so afraid to throw a strike. It sucks, and this is the exact same thing that happened to my dad in the early 70s. Hot shot prospect gets hurt, career never the same - or in his case, over. If the pattern repeats itself Liriano will one day be a math teacher with one child who is a lawyer and another who is a drunken blogger. Geez, dad. Sorry.
- I think I see why he hates throwing strikes, because he just threw one and Konerko Konorked it about 400 feet. Luckily the wall is at 401 so it's just a double, but it's still 5-5 and both Liriano and my self-esteem are in the toilet.
- The TV claims Liriano just hit 95 on the radar gun. I call so much bullshit, like Zack Morris talking to Belding levels here.
- Jessie Crain on his way to the mound. That's always the answer.
- Ok, he got the last out. Also that necklace is fabulous.
- Cuddyer with ANOTHER home run. Talk about rising to the occasion. This is incredible. Looking at home runs only. Which as we all know are the most impressive thing about baseball.
- I think my internet feed is messed up. It looks like Matt Tolbert just went yard. That can't be, can it? Weird how this feed is still running fine, but made somebody else look like a weiner with giant nostrils. Never really seen that before.
- Cabrera just made a play going to his right and doing that gay Jeter jump throw. That better be on sportscenter as a great play, and then replayed for years. We also should start calling Cabrera "the Captain" and a "True Twin", as well as maybe consider giving him an MVP as like a lifetime achievement award.
- 1-2-3 inning for Crain as we roll to the 7th. Think about that. What are the odds?
- Tiggers won. Can't afford to give this one away.
- Mijares out to throw the seventh. I assume this means we'll see either Rauch or Guerrier in the 8th. I also want to use this space to admit that Matt Guerrier has had an awesome year and I didn't realize it. WHIP of 0.91, ERA 2.18, and 70 innings in the books? That's Paul Quantrill like, man. I mean that is straight up awesome. And I wrote this right before he is probably going to pitch an important 8th. Good on me.
- Shocker! Fatties are crying on The Biggest Loser. Fatties. Are. Crying.
- KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!
- We're going with Guerrier here. Hopefully the DWG jinx is no longer in affect.
- First batter is Konerko. He konorks one over the fence. DWG jinx looking strong. Still 8-6 Twins.
- Mrs. W just told me Sarah Michelle Gellar had a baby today. Freddie Prinze's baby. For both of these reasons, let's substittue Christina Aguilera in my dream scenario above.
- Guerrier gets it done. Either get a couple more or let's just hope the suddenly mortal Nathan doesn't F this up.
- No runs in the 9th for the Twins. Nathan in. 61 innings this year, 81 strikeouts, 39 hits. Holy god.
- That was deceptively easy. Twins win again. With the Tigers win, they remain 2.5 back. The one big thing on the Twins side? The Tigers are on the cover of SI. I don't believe in curses (other than the Curse of King Tut, the Curse of the Billy Goat, and throwing salt over your shoulder if you spill it), but I think it's pretty obvious the Tigers are screwed. Just keep winning twinkies, just keep winning.
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