Gophers, Twins, Golf, all kinds of crap. Joe U says, "If Joe Posnanski wasn't blogging, you'd be the most entertaining person I read" and Patrick S. says
"Your blog is just about my favorite thing ever"
- How the holy hell did the Twins win today? Naturally the game wasn't on television, because there's far too much fishing, racing, and poker to be shown on Fox Sports during the day, so I couldn't watch it in our conference room, but I had the gamecast from MLB.com up on my computer at my desk in my big office on the 30th floor with the big window. Justin Verlander was mowin' down fools, like I warned he would, with twelve strikeouts of idiotic Twins' hackers and no runs allowed through six. Scott Baker the home run maker had matched him through five, also giving up no runs (which I assume meant the Tigers were hitting a lot of line drives right at defenders), but then came the inevitable implosion in the top of the sixth. The Tigers lit him up for five runs in the inning, which included a hit by Adam Everett (ADAM. FREAKING. EVERETT.)
At this point I mercifully had a meeting which I would love to tell you all about but I wasn't paying attention because it was boring and I was busy thinking about my girl Bianca Kajlich:
So when I get back to my desk, the Twins have somehow won 6-5. I have no idea how. It appears Verlander's arm was pretty much about to fall off when they brought him out in seventh (ended up with 122 pitches) and he promptly (after striking out Crede of course) gave up a rare hit to Buscher and a walk to Punto and was yanked for Bobby Seay - who I have decided to call the Matt Guerrier of Detroit. Seay got just one out and gave up three hits and a walk to lose the game. Actually, Crede got the game-winning hit off Zach Miner, but Seay definitely Jesse Crained this one.
And of course, Gardy got thrown out for being an idiot. I love when he throws his gay little temper tantrums. It really makes me proud to have him as a manager. Well, that and his gameday genius. Like batting Matt Tolbert second. Second. Right after first. Between the next Ricky Henderson and the Baby Jesus. Essentially guaranteeing the Twins could never get three hits in a row to start a game. Because Tolbert sucks, you see.
He is, of course, hitting just .200 now after a stellar 0-4 today, in which he decided to not even come close to making good contact. Sure, 30 at bats so far this year is a pretty small sample size, but I feel pretty comfortable saying that his ceiling is Denny Hocking.
Let's go ahead and ignore the hitting second thing, and instead point out that Brendan Harris should probably be the everyday second basemen, especially over Tolbert who has now started in EVERY SINGLE GAME SINCE HE WAS CALLED UP. All 8. Go ahead and count it. I'll wait.
It's just so frustrating to have a jackass like this as manager. It's like that manager in little league who plays his kid over players who are better, except he's running a multi-million dollar business.
Back to Brendan Harris. He's hitting .309/.360/.441 so far this season. Those numbers put him 10th, 12th, and 12th amongst second basemen in the majors. Better average than Chase Utley. Better OBP than Dan Uggla. Better slugging pct. than Dustin Pedroia. Plus he can play three positions. Yet he's behind Tolbert, Punto, and even Buscher. Makes zero sense, except, like I Hate Cuddyer Guy said, "It's just because Gardy is a fucking dipshit who plays favorites right?"
Plus, check out this story from The Todd. Originally relayed here in the comments, but it deserves to be promoted to main post status:
[I was fortunate enough to attend the Twins game this afternoon, compliments of work.
And as luck would have it, a coworker of mine seems to know EVERYone. He played college ball at St. Thomas so that has to say something right?
Anyway, he informed me during the game that Brenden Harris has been bangin some UofM chick for a while now and when he does, insists that the doors be open so all the girls in her house can hear it (classy if you ask me).
Moving on, he's wanted and has been pressuring her like hell to have a three some with some other chick in the house. Well apparently this all came to a head last weekebd (or two), said chick broke down whilst wasted calling the cops etc etc. Harris now has a restraining order against that entire house. Or so he says.
God I love baseball!
I need another drink.]
How do you NOT start that guy?
- Speaking of the Twins, do you remember the god awful pitching rotation the Tigers of 2003 trotted out? You remember, the team was terrible and everyone knew they were going to be terrible and overall the ended up losing 119 games? It was supposed to be a group of young bucks who would eventually develop into something special but out of Mike Maroth, Jeremy Bonderman, Nate Cornejo, Adam Bernero, and Gary Knotts not one of them has pitched an inning in 2009 and only Bonderman has a shot at being anything at all.
Well, those guys, who combined to go 25-77, had a combined ERA that year of 5.50. The Twins five "young guns" this year have a combined ERA of 5.17.
It's been brought to my attention that I haven't posted since Friday, and apparently people are upset about this for some reason. So here's some things that caught my fancy:
- I want to start with something that world's worst announcer and former world's worst GM Steve Phillips said during the Mets/Braves game last night which makes me even sadder than usual that Fire Joe Morgan closed their doors. In the game the Braves beat Johan Santana and the Mets 8-3, with the NY Mets (my favorite squadron) scoring just one run while Johan was in the game. Cribbed from here for accuracy, this is what Phillips said,
[“You know, we're talking about the run support for a pitcher, and I believe that pitchers often earn their run support, and here is why. I was in the front office for 13 years, at every home game, for many of the road games up in the box, and you start to feel the pattern of the game for each of the starting pitchers.
"Over the course of time it seemed to me there the same guys started to get runs, there was a pattern and rhythm to their game and the same guys didn't get runs because of the pattern and rhythm to their game.”
Orel Hershiser then asked if Santana had a bad pattern or rhythm for an offense, and Phillips responded with this:
“I think it is the feel of his game. Whether it’s his teammates...I don't think it’s a conscious thing. Players always go, 'nah, there is no way, there is no way' but I see it, I feel it every time you watch games. They don't hit for Santana.
"I think part of it is because he is the ace on the mound. They think it’s a low-scoring game, he is not going to give up runs. It’s just this rhythm of the game that he has. Steve Traschel, used to pitch for the Mets, the slowest worker ever. He never got run support. and I think he earned it.”]
What. The. Hell. It boggles the mind that someone who is not only an announcer, but also once held a position of making the most important decisions for his team, could actually believe this. It's the kind of thing that I expect Dawger to try to sell.
Perhaps, just perhaps, Santana's Mets teammates have run up against some very good pitchers so far this year in Johan's starts. In his seven starts - and in case you aren't paying attention he's 4-2 with a 0.78 ERA in those seven starts - the Mets have scored 3, 1, 3, 4, 1, 1, and 2 runs; not very much. Santana's opponents have been Aaron Harang (season ERA: 2.93), Josh Johnson twice (2.34), Yovani Gallardo (3.09), Scott Olsen (7.00), Chan Ho Park (6.67), and Derek Lowe (3.80). Five of his seven opponents are better than league average, with four of those starts coming from guys who are in the top 13 in the NL in ERA.
In conclusion, Steve Phillips, yes the same guy who traded prospect Melvin Mora (1,121 hits since and counting) for a washed-up Mike Bordick (50 hits for the half-year, then resigned with Baltimore in the offseason) is a complete idiot and should probably die.
- High school hoops was in town this past weekend with the Sabes Invitational in Minneapolis. I didn't attend, of course, because I'm not a weirdo, but luckily the internet does a good job of summarizing these bits.
There were a lot of players of major interest in town for this thing, including Harrison Barnes and Chad Calcaterra - Gopher targets I've written about before - as well as Rickey Kreklow, Jacob Thomas, Ricky Kreklow, and Alex Kirk, all of whom are also on the radar.
Barnes is the jewel of the group, ranked #4 on Rivals150, and still has the Gophers' in the mix as he cut down to his top 12. Obviously he's not that good, since his team lost it's first two games, but I suppose I'd still take him on the Gophers. I read somewhere that since he had extra time after being bounced he made it up to campus to check out the U. I'm hoping he got the Jesus Shuttlesworth treatment.
The other guy I've written about before is Chad Calcaterra, who I think I said I was worried could be another Kevin Loge or Kyle Sanden, mainly based on the other schools chasing him. The reviews from the weekend sound pretty good, however. They praise Calcaterra's defensive effort, saying he totally dominated in the paint, and also talked up his ability to get out and run on the break as well as scoring both inside and out. I'm sold. Another reason to trust Tubby.
Speaking of trusting Tubby, that's a big reason I'm not sold on Columbia Heights guard Jacob Thomas. He's known as one of the best shooters in the entrie Midwest for the class of 2010, but he's still waiting on his first offer - from anybody. He's also made it clear that his dream is to play for the Gophers, but even so, Tubby is like "meh." I don't know. The reviews from the weekend are very positive and say he looks like he can score (and he dueled Bradley Beal, a class of 2011 guard with offers from Florida and Kansas already, to a standstill) but then where is Tubby on this? Like I said, I trust Tubby.
The guy I hadn't heard of who I am very intrigued by now is SG Ricky Kreklow, a 6-5 wing from Missouri. He has offers from Missouri and a handful of Missouri Valley teams, but Tubby is showing some interest and had Kreklow up to campus for an official visit this weekend, and has since said if Tubby extends an offer the Gophers would instantly be in his top two or three choices (with Missouri and Creighton). Kreklow is an awesome shooter, which always makes my pants tight, and was also called the best passer at the event. He sounds like the kind of kid who might be lightly recruited because of physical attributes (size/strength + he's white), but just gets it done with a great feel for the game. With my Eric Bledsoe crush no longer in play, I think Kreklow might be my new wishlist guy.
Lastly is Alex Kirk, a 6-10 center from New Mexico. Kirk hasn't received an offer from Minnesota, but he's on their radar. Right now his best offers are from the Pac 10 (Cal, Wash, USC), with a handful of lesser teams trying to grab him as well. I'm not overly impressed with what I've read, and it sounds like Kirk had only one good game out of three this weekend, spending large chunks of the other two on the bench against more athletic teams. Plus, he's a ginger, so we don't want him.
- Doug Gottlieb is usually a moron, but he finally gets something right with this Stephen Curry article about how his skills might not transfer to the NBA. Well no shit. I just can't figure out why the national media as a whole doesn't see it, and instead keeps trying to linguistically hump him. Doesn't blow by defenders off the dribble. Isn't big enough to shoot over NBA defenders. Can't play defense against quick guards. Doesn't fit into a clearly defined role at the next level. Too small for a 2, yet doesn't have PG skills. Jesus christ the more I type about this guy the more and more I get convinced he's going to be a Timberwolf in the future. He and Corey Brewer can sit on the bench together and talk about how awesome they were in college and how they just can't fit in and keep up at the NBA level.
- Patrick Patterson has withdrawn his name from the NBA draft, and holy god is Kentucky going to be absolutely loaded next year, and with a much better game coach in John Calipari as well. Patterson was the fourth leading scorer and third leading rebounder in the SEC last year, and he will be joined by a recruiting class that is ranked as the #1 class in the country, and contains Rivals #2, #22, #23, and #40 along with a big-time JuCo recruit, and they are spread all over the floor, from the paint to the wing to the point. Even scarier? They might be getting even more. #1 recruit in the country John Wall is still unsigned and has Kentucky as one of his finalists, and Jodie Meeks - last season's top scorer in the conference - may still pull his name out of the NBA draft. Make no mistake, Kentucky is back in a big, big way.
- If you're into this kind of thing, here's a stupid little puff piece on the Twins from ESPN's Tim Kurkijan - normally a writer I like. If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know I think chemistry in baseball and "good clubhouse guys" is the biggest crock of crap since the moon landing (obviously faked). Seriously, the article is so sugary sweet I got a stomach ache. Plus, Cuddybear is the central figure in most of it, so that ought to make a bunch of people around here pretty happy.
- Lastly, I think Chris Hoiles is the leader for the guy I'm going to sponsor when my Scott Stahoviak sponsorship runs out. You probably had to be a fan of Tony LaRussa baseball II in order to truly get it. That was the game when we (me, Snacks, and Bear) had some truly epic seasons when we were growing up, and Hoiles was a central figure. He was a good catcher, but the best was every player had a picture, and it was clear that the day they took those pictures Hoiles showed up either massively hungover or still drunk. He had bloodshot, glassy eyes, was completely unshaven, and his hat was cocked sideways and barely on his head. Truly a trainwreck.
But even better, and nobody really knows this, but Hoiles had an epically great season in 1993. Yes, G-R-E-A-T.
He hit .310/.416/.585 with 29 home runs in 503 plate appearances.
That .310 was 11th in the league, and 15th best by any catcher from 1980-2000.
His .416 OBP was 5th in the league, and 25th best by a catcher ever (like in all-time).
The slugging pct. of .585 he put up was also 5th in the league, and is the TENTH BEST IN THE HISTORY OF CATCHERS HITTING THE BALL. I'm not making this up.
Put together that OBP and SLG for the OPS, and he was fourth in the league that year and SEVENTH all-time by a catcher, behind seasons by all-time greats Mike Piazza (three of the six better), Bill Dickey, Gabby Hartnett, and Roy Campanella. It boggles the mind.
His 29 home runs in 419 at bats works out to one homer every 14.4 at bats, a rate that ranked him fourth that season, and is 18th best in the history of catching.
Oh, and he also threw out 46 of 113 attempted base stealers that year, or 41% (lg avg = 36%), while allowing just two passed balls all year.
Seriously, we are talking a truly awesome, awesome season. He was really hurt by only knocking in 82 runs that year, since the media and other slack-jawed cretins are wowed by a stat that relies more on opportunity than ability, but still finished 16th in the MVP voting. Looking at pure batting stats, he should have been fourth behind John Olerud, Frank Thomas, and Ken Griffey. And somehow, nobody knows this because it's Chris Hoiles.
Sadly, I can't locate that actual picture from Tony 2, but he looks pretty drunk in this one too. Just imagine him 58% more intoxicated, and not exactly sure where he is or what's going on.
Over at www.baseball-reference.com, perhaps the worlds greatest website, we have been sponsoring Scott Stahoviak, he of the unrealized 30+ home run potential. This sponsorship runs out at the end of the month.
I'm ready to move on. I want to sponsor someone, but I'm open to who, as long as it's a 10 buck guy.
Like Rich Becker. Or Les Straker (whose first and middle name is Les Paul and whose nickname was apparently Bolnalda). Or Dan Schatzeder. Or Pedro Munoz. Or Keith Atherton. Or Tom Nieto. Or Junior Ortiz.
Doesn't have to be a Twin. How about Razor Shines? Eric Fox (who is somehow only $5)? Al Pedrique? Tom Lawless? Tim Raines, Jr? Danny Heep? Garth Iorg?
Seriously, anybody who:
1. I've heard of 2. Makes me laugh 3. Is available 4. And is only $10 for the year
And I'm in. Current leader is Ron Hassey. Nearly 1,000 career hits! A career OPS+ of exactly 100. An OBP of over .400 in 1986. Career postseason average of .323. The only player in history to catch TWO perfect games. Plus, look at this sexy son of a bitch. He looks like if Seth Rogen and Andy Samberg had a kid. Definitely the leader in the clubhouse.
This ended up being more depressing than I expected...
Here are some stats for one current and five former Twins--the stats are only for the time they spent with Minnesota. Guess the correct player for each stat line:
The players: Delmon Young, Luis Rivas, Doug Mientkiewicz, Cristian Guzman, Jason Tyner, and Jacque Jones.
Yes, I'm biased against Delmon, he's one of my least favorite players on the team...and I get that he's still young and has time to develop. But damn, this isn't exactly an awesome list of players and his numbers are mediocre compared to this mediocre-or-worse group.
I'm sure everyone is just dying to find out if Delmon's isolated power is actually worse than Guzie or Rivas, so the answers will be in the comments Friday afternoon.
I'm as sick of the circus every offseason as you are, and it looks like it's happening again this time with Favre planning to meet at a top-secret undisclosed location with Vikings' "Head Coach" Brad Childress to discuss the possibility of him coming to play for the Vikings next season. The Jets straight up released the world's biggest drama hog after drafting pretty boy something I don't remember (Mark?) Sanchez to play QB, which eliminates the clause which essentially barred Captain Percoset from playing for the Vikes last year. My reaction: What the hell, go for it.
Sage and T-Jax aren't exactly super bowl caliber QBs. They are more of prayers at this point, hoping to god one of them doesn't make too many mistakes to screw up a good team. That's pretty much Favre's downside here, as much as I hate him, his upside is far greater than either of those two clowns.
I see this going down one of two ways, and both involve him being all fired up to be in the NFC North and wanted to prove himself to everyone, and especially Green Bay.
One way is he hits all the mini-camps. All the optional training camps. Works out like a young person to get back in young person shape. Gets the gold medal in his training drill and jacks up his ratings by seven points. He comes out like the Favre before he became this Favre, lights the world on fire, and leads the Vikings to a Super Bowl. I can get on board with that, even with the world's richest redneck leading the charge.
The other way is he really wants to prove himself to Green Bay, but insists, as he has for the last several years, that he knows best how to do it. He doesn't need to work out with the team or hit the mini-camps or do anything other than show up, play a little grab-ass, halfway study a playbook, and hit the field. In this instance he throws a ton of picks (wow imagine that), can't lead the team to the victories they need because he keeps forcing the ball where he can't get it anymore, gets ripped to shreds, and eventually loses his job to either Sage or T-Jax, completely sullying his legacy to the point where he becomes a running joke. Honestly, I might even prefer this version.
Either way, the circus is clearly in town, and the man who gave his wife cancer is on the high wire without a net. And I'll watch in rapt attention for the same reason I listen to my trainwreck of a co-worker describe her love lift every week - it is a trainwreck from which I cannot avert my gaze. Sit back, relax, and love every minute of it. The only way we lose here is if he never signs at all.
[EDIT: I mentioned to Mrs. W that I was blogging about Favre and how it looks like he's probably coming here. She replied, "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. He's all old and injured and super annoying." So there you go.]
- As long as I'm here, I might as well keep on going, and next up is a very brief look at the Players Championship. Held every year at the TPC Sawgrass, home of the most famous island green in the world, this is the tournament where my homey Sergio Garcia finally breaks out this year. The Spanish Catapult hasn't been great this year (13th at the Honda is his best finish), but also hasn't been terrible and has made every cut this year with, of course, the exception of last week at Quail Hollow.
Normally all this would tell me to stay away, but the guy is one of a handful of guys who you could consider a top-five golfer and you know he isn't going this whole season without contending. Even better, dude loves Sawgrass, winning here last year after finishing as runner-up in 2007. I don't know if he'll win, but I'm seeing a top five for sure.
If you want more of a sleeper, look to the Swede Henrik Stenson. He's only played in three tournaments this year, but has a third place finish at Houston. He is like Garcia and loves this course, who has finished tenth, 23rd, and third here the last three years.
- Gopher hoops is pretty set for 2009, especially with those two boners leaving the team, but how about 2010? According to Rivals, these are the uncomitted players the Gophers have offers out to:
PG Cory Joseph. #110 on Rivals150, 24th best PG in the class. Also has offers from Georgetown, Virginia, Virginia Tech, Louisville, Marquette, Texas A&M, and UNLV. He's also visited Cal and is quickly moving up prospect lists with a very good year and his ability to play both guard spots and might soon jump from a 3-star prospect to a five-star. Given the questions the Gophers have at point with a rapidly approaching Terrance Simmons-level Al Nolen and the mystery that is Justin Cobbs, Joseph is probably the Gophers' most important recruit. It's a matter of if he wants to play with his bro Devoe or not. Let's hope so.
SG Aaron Cosby. 3-stars, not ranked in Rivals rankings, he also has offers from Oklahoma State, Indiana, Butler, Dayton, and Western Kentucky. Cosby might be the least impressive of the recruits in terms of his numbers on Rivals, but Tubby has been after him for a while, and I trust Tubby. According to his scouting report he can already score and has the ability to be a big-time on-ball defender with some effort. Those both sound good, but it still makes me nervous that he seems to be more of a target of the mid-majors.
SG Tim Hardaway, Jr. 3-stars, not ranked in Rivals rankings, he also has offers from Michigan with Kansas State involved. Not really highly sought after yet, it's probably only a matter of time for the first of the next generation of Run-TMC. He's already thought of as an elite shooter, but can do even more as shown by his averages of 23 points, 11 rebounds, and 6 assists last season. Michigan is and has been after him hard, and his three-point ability would fit well in Beilein's offense, but the Gophers are also in the picture. A big time elite shooter always gives me a little boner, so I'd be very much in favor of him showing up in Minneapolis.
SF Harrison Barnes. #4 on Rivals150, #1 small forward. Also has offers from Duke, North Carolina, Kentucky, Iowa State, Kansas, UCLA, and pretty much everybody. I mentioned that I thought Joseph was the Gophers' most important recruit, but Barnes is by far the best, and to the team's credit he is at least showing a modicum of interest. The real issue is that this kid can pick where he goes from essentially anybody (he's known as Kansas's #1 target, for example). The Gophers best bet is to hope he wants to stay close to home, but the issue there is that he's actually right from Ames so if he wants to stay close to home he's got Iowa State. Of course, if he wants to stay close to home and play for a great coach, that's where the Gophers have the advantage since Lickliter and whoever the hell is coaching the Cyclones right now suck. Don't expect to get this kid, but if it happens it's bigger than Royce and Rodney combined.
SF Casey Prather. #30 on Rivals150, #7 Small Forward. Also has offers from Michigan, Alabama, Clemson, and pretty much every mid-tier SEC and ACC school. He sounds essentially like a Rod-Will clone, but there's really no point in focusing on Prather in any way because there's no chance he comes to Minnesota. In a recent interview he detailed his thoughts on his top five schools, and the Gophers weren't part of the discussion. He does mention the in his TOP 14, but come on, who are we kidding here?
PF Chad Calcaterra. 3-stars, not ranked on Rivals. Offers from Auburn, Colorado State, Northern Iowa, UW-GB, and NDSU. Look at those schools, and look at that rank. I have no idea why he's been extended an offer other than the fact that he's from Cloquet so everyone has a boner for him. I'm pretty sure he's another Kevin Loge. With the upside of a Kyle Sanden. Have fun at NIU.
Lastly on the Gopher front, my main main Eric Bledose still hasn't picked a school, but he's clearly not coming to Minnesota and that still hurts me. It looks like he's outgrown UAB - which had looked like a perfect fit, and has it narrowed to Kentucky and Memphis. Basically the news is that he's going to Kentucky, unless John Wall goes to Kentucky, in which case he's going to Memphis. I'd look up if John Wall committed yet since I don't know how old my info is, but I've had a couple of drinks and also I'm quite lazy, so I'm not going to.
- Finally, the Twins finally bit the bullet and sent Alexi Casilla down today, recalling Matt Tolbert to take his place. I'm not Matt Tolbert fan, but it was time for Casilla, and it may be time to ship him off while he still has some value. That may be jumping the gun considering he's not even 25, but his suddenly sloppy defense can't offset his terrible offense anymore. He was never a great hitter, hitting just .257 in parts of three seasons in triple A, and burst on the scene last year hitting over .300 through July before fading to hit just .281/.333/.374. More alarming, check this out:
May, 2008: .340/.417/.520 June, 2008: .304/.330/.412 July, 2008: .308/.333/.385 August, 2008: .234/.260/.362 September, 2008: .221/.321/.253 April, 2009: .174/.231/.202 May, 2009: .135/.233/.135
Yikes. His OPS has declined every single month since he was recalled last year.
That can't be good.
RIP Scrubs. I can't remember a show that I cared about this much ending. Seinfeld, sure, but that show never connected emotionally the way Scrubs could (insert gay joke here, but Dr. Acula knows what I'm talking about). Bye show. I love you.
I realize this is piling on at this point, but Alexi Casilla hitting second every night is driving me crazy. And frankly, something needs to distract me from a pathetic fantasy baseball team...it is never good to add Russell Branyan and David Aardsma in the same night, but at least I also added Span.
The problem is, this Casilla thing is all-too familiar.
Here are a some batting avg. / on-base % / SLG splits:
Those are Casilla's Aug 08, Sept 08, and Apr 09 stat lines.
Here's one more:
.210 / .291 / .271
That's Nick Punto's 2007 stat line; the one where Gardy drove Twins fans crazy by keeping Punto entrenched in the 2-spot for most of the season. Punto's April 07 was actually quite a bit better than the one Casilla just finished, sadly.
I get that Gardy wants to let him work through his slump--that strategy seems to be working out well with Cuddyer, who's suddenly hitting again--but let Casilla do it at the bottom of the lineup.
Sweet victory tonight for the Twins; Liriano was locked in, Span was awesome again, Cuddyer maintained his recent form, and the bullpen didn't pour a bunch of gas on the mound and start a fire. Almost everything was awesome except for Mauer, who sucked. I'm sure the Star Trib commenters are foaming at the mouth demanding he be moved to 3B or 2B so we can get Morales back.
Even Casilla got a hit and two RBI, but he also had the worst Twins play of the game when he didn't run out a bunt attempt, which led to a double play. That could be the play that lands him on the bench.
Sitting around on a Monday night and realizing I feel really weird that I didn't do the Monday morning weekend review (those will be back in the fall). Instead, here's some random stuff.
- Very cool list of the 25 best stories of "Rickey being Rickey" sent to me by Snacks today. God I love that guy. Guy invented "Manny being Manny", and rocked that shtick so much harder that it actively pisses me off when people even use the phrase "Manny being Manny." An MVP award and two other top three placements, career leader in runs scored and steals, second in walks (he walked more than Babe Ruth for christ's sake) and with a career on-base-percentage of .401, along with being a complete nutcase and yet also loving baseball enough to play his last two major league seasons for a combined total of just $650,000 and then continuing his career in the independent Atlantic League for peanuts, just to keep playing ball. How can't you love this dude? I guess if you're some kind of queer.
- I'm sure you're wondering how the Aitkin Meat Raffle went this weekend. I'll tell you. It sucked. We won a couple of steaks, a pound of shrimp, a whole chicken, and some ribs, but considering it was me, Snacks, Mrs. Snacks, Dr. Acula, Argyle Sweater, and D. Driver, it was a pretty sorry haul. The upside is that all of us (save D. Driver) got pretty drunk and I discovered the wonder that is Jeremiah Weed's Sweet Tea Vodka. I'm telling you, go pick up some of this right now - and then clear a whole day to recover, because it's just like scotch & splenda: get's you drunk like scotch but tastes like heaven. Highly recommended.
- My god is Zack Greinke ridiculous. Another quality outing, with quality being not nearly a strong enough term, going 9 innings for his second freaking shutout (would be three but for an unearned run), giving up 6 hits and striking out nine, all while managing to walk no one. Right now I'm enjoying every minute of it and loving the Royals being in first place (along with the Mariners, Marlins, and Blue Jays - WTF?), but it's already getting a bit out of hand with the "Greinke Overcomes Social Anxiety" stories - so much so that I'm considering hating him. Putting "Greinke Overcomes" into Google already returns 11,600 hits and it's only going to get worse. So Zack, I will love you for your unhittability, and for how wrong I was about you, and our affair will last until probably you start the all-star game. I figure that's about when the media coverage will make me hate you worse than I hate Maxwell Nerdstrom.
- FYI - It costs $50 to even apply for a job in minor-league baseball. G-ay.
- Nice Twins win tonight by the way, mainly because we finally got to see Liriano pitch the way we know he can (7.1 ip, 4 hits, 3 walks, 2 runs) and get his first win. Most importantly, he struck out nine while pitching into the 8th. When Liriano pitches well, he strikes people out. That was his thing back in the day before he had a tendon from his leg inserted into his arm, and it's something he's had some trouble recapturing. Tonight was either a great sign that he might be getting closer to all the way back, or a blip on the radar of teasingness, but it was enjoyable either way.
- Do you know what's embarrassing? Today is National Star Wars day. I'm not making it up. Because it's May 4th. As in, "May the Fourth be with you." Seriously. I'm as big a Star Wars fan as there is. I know the name of Darth Vader's Star Destroyer and the Admiral who commanded it. I can name the members of Jabba the Hutt's band. I know Chewbacca's home planet's name. I know the difference between Wedge and Biggs, and both of their last name's. I'll even defend the prequel trilogy (though not Jar Jar). So when I think something is embarrassing for Star Wars' fans, it's pretty damned embarrassing. And this certainly qualifies. A bad pun. It's almost like George Lucas wrote up this "holiday" himself.
- Ryan Reynolds and I were born just 18 days apart. Let's call that FYI number 2.
- As I feared, the Celtics came out with a less than inspired effort after expending a ridiculous amount of effort to beat the Bulls, losing 95-90 to the Magic while shooting a Stephen Curry-like 38.5% for the game, with my boyfriend Ray Allen going 2-12 and Rondo shooting the same. Pauly Pierce tried to bring them back in the second half, turning an 18 point deficit into as little as three, but it was not meant to be and the Magic have stolen home court advantage. There's really no way they can do it again. The Celts are too old, too thin, and have too little KG to battle back again like they did against Chicago. I don't want Cleveland to win the whole thing, and I really don't want the Lake Show to win, so I have no idea who to root for. I guess I'll go Cleveland. Yippee.
- I can't believe Rebecca Jordan is a lesbian. (Wow. Be very careful googling that. And it's not even the right name. I'll just give you a picture and tell you I'm talking about a character on the kickass show Greek, named Rebecca Logan, played by the weirdly and foreignly named Dilshad Vadsaria. - I strongly dislike Kobe Bryant. To Emmitt Smith levels. Did I ever tell you about how me, Snacks, and Bear burned a bunch of Emmitt smith cards in an Emmitt Smith cup from McDonalds? That was awesome.
- Finally, I'd just like to rank the Presidents of the United States, in order of how dirty their names sound: 1. Johnson 2. Bush 3. Harding 4. Polk 5. Filmore 6. Pierce 7. LBJ 8. Hoover 9. Bush 10. Clinton
- Just in case he hadn't thrown a big enough dagger in your heart last year by winning the ALCS MVP, Matt Garza did it again last night. This time he took a perfect game into the seventh against the Red Sox only to have it broken up by a faggy infield squibber by faggy Jacoby Ellsbury. It would be the only hit Garza gave up, leaving after 7 and 2/3rds after striking out 10. Garza's WHIP now stands at just 1.06, with an ERA of 3.82. Meanwhile Delmon Young is hitting .241, is on-pace for 15 extra base hits this year, and remains one of the worst in the league at swinging at pitches outside the strike zone.
Oh, and Jason Bartlett is hitting .358, tenth in the AL. Eff my life.
- In the "About Freaking Time" Category, former West Virginia QB Major Harris was finally elected to the College Football Hall of Fame. Harris is the first guy I remember really capturing my imagination as a kid, and he was the first run/pass dual threat QB I had seen (I was too young to really watch Rickey Foggie). He was just sick, like QB Eagles but in real life. In his three years he finished fifth and third in the Heisman voting, and took WVU to the national championship game in 1988 and may have won it if he hadn't had his shoulder separated on the third play of the game.
Of course, Harris made one of the worst decisions ever in going pro, foregoing his senior season to enter the NFL draft, only to be picked in the 12th round and never even making the team - or any NFL team. He played one season in the CFL and three in the Arena League before calling it quits and is now a High School Assistant Receiver's Coach. But none of that changes the greatness that was Major Harris. Congrats, Major. I salute you.
- I wrote about the Bulls vs. Celtics playoff series before, but this is getting ridiculous. Last night the Bulls beat the Celtics in double-OT to knot the series at 3-3, and every game has been a classic: Game 1 - Derrick Rose sets a new record for scoring by a rookie in his playoff debut with 36, with the Bulls winning in OT in Boston. Game 2 - The game I wrote about above, Rajon Rondo goes for a triple-double but is actually overshadowed by the duel between former UCONNers Ben Gordon and Ray Allen, who go for 42 and 30 with Allen hitting the game-winner. Game 3 - The only non-competitive game is still entertaining because Boston had lost home court advantage, and took it back by beating the Bulls by 20 and reminding them who the defending champion was. Game 4 - Chicago evens the series with a double OT win thanks to a huge three by Ben Gordon to tie it up in single OT and push it to double, and Rondo puts up his second triple-double of the series in a losing effort. Game 5 - Boston takes a 3-2 series lead by winning in overtime thanks to Paul Pierce hitting a jumper at the buzzer to tie it up and then taking over in OT. Game 6 - Chicago evens the series in TRIPLE overtime, despite 51 points from Ray Allen and 19 assists from Rondo, thanks to 35 points from John Salmons and another huge performance from the suddenly emerging Joakim Noah (and check out this play).
Game seven is going to be this Saturday at 7pm. I'm going to be drunk at a cabin, but I suggest you check it out if you can. Look for the Bulls to pull the upset.
- I'm pretty sure Adam Scott is broken. At the Quail Hollow Championship this week, with a world championship type field all in attendance, Scott shot 77-75 to finish at +8 and missed the cut by eight strokes. That makes four straight tournaments where he's failed to make the weekend. He won the Byron Nelson early last season, so he doesn't have to worry about losing his tour card (and has a 2nd place finish at the Sony Open this year anyway, which on it's own has him at 51st on the money list), but he better get things turned around or the sexiest golfer on tour might suddenly go the way of David Duval.
- One dude who I realized I completely forgot in my video mock draft is CB Dave Waymer of the 49ers on Tecmo Super Bowl. No matter what happened, if he was controlled by a human or by the computer, Waymer would end up leading the league in picks - every. single. season. Waymer did have seven picks, third in the league, in 1990 - the season Tecmo Super was based on, but still. Gill Byrd and Martin Mayhew each had seven that season, and I don't remember seeing them always at the top of the leaderboard. Freaking west coast bias.
- And in case you forgot, PANDEMIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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