Anyway, I'm also watching the World Series on an internet feed, as I usually do, and the Gophers are being monitored thanks to the game tracker via ESPN.com. Currently the Gophers are recovering from an almost blown awesome start, but lead 21-10 with 2 minutes left in the first half, the Yanks and Phillies are tied 0-0 in the bottom of the first, and this chick in the movie should not have turned that old lady down for a loan, because I'm pretty sure she's fucked at this point. Any way, let's roll.
- Andy Pettitte is the all-time leader in postseason wins? W.T.F??!?! This would be like finding out Derek Jeter is third all-time in postseason home runs........WHAT!!??!
- Just got back from tending to my pumpkin seeds (slow roasted at 300 degrees for an hour, butter spray, seasoned salt, garlic powder) and the Phillies managed to get nothing out of Jimmy Rollins's leadoff single and steal of second. Can't waste opportunities, boys, you know the Yanks won't. Or maybe they will. I don't know.
- I guess we'll find out as my sort-of boyfriend Cole Hamels plunks a-rod with the first pitch of the second inning. Cole and I were going really good most of last year, it was pretty serious, I think he might have picked out a ring, but I kind of had to slow things down most of this year. Now he's been slowly winning me back over, and this is a pretty good chance for him to get back into my good graces.
- Pedro Feliz, who Tim McCarver keeps insisting is one of the best 3bmen in baseball, bobbles and easy double play ball and they only get A-rod at second. What do you want to bet that costs them?
- Nevermind, my boyfriend pitched out of it with no further issues. I guess that was a bad bet, like most of them that Snacks lays down these days.
- Wow, this chick in this movie is having a couple of really horrible days. Nice rack though.
- Home run Jayson Werth to lead off the second. He really had to go down and get it, too. A lot like Matsui's in Game 2, but insead of hitting a pop up that somehow managed to get over the fence by some weird miracle, he laced that sumbitch into like the 15th row in left field. A right-handed, National League Jason Kubel with speed and fielding. So really he has nothing in common with Kubel at all, except they are both underrated and I love them both (NOTE: I love Kubel more).
- With one out, Feliz doinks one off the wall for a double, and then walks Carlos freaking Ruiz. Falling apart, Pettitte? Need a little GHB or your precious "God?" Well you're on your own, chief.
- The Spartans took the opening kick of the second half back for a TD? Good lord.
- Uh, oh, bunt hit for Hamels because Pettitte can't field. I'm feeling blow out here folks, this might be a a very short live blog - no point continuing when the Phillies are up 15-0.
- Pettitte walks in a run, walking Rollins on five pitches. He looks awful, just awful. Which, of course, is good for me, and for America.
- The Phils pick up one more, and it's a 3-0 now going to the third. This game is huge for Philadelphia, because next up is Sabathia vs. Blanton, in a game the Yankees should win 20-1.
- Gophers answer, and it's 28-17. Honestly, you can't lose that game after the way it started for them, or you might as well quit football and move on to field hockey. In case you missed it, the Gophers scored on the first play from scrimmage on a long TD pass to Duane Bennett, then MSU fumbled the kickoff and Minnesota recovered, and converted that into another TD with a pass to future stud Brandon Green. In other words, a near perfect start.
- so I have no sound with this internet feed (well, I do but instead we are watching some crazy goat-sacrificing seance), but Predro Feliz just fielded a grounder and threw a guy out, and they've now shown the replay four times, paying most attention to how he used two hands to field it. Twenty bucks says McCarver is having a jizz party over this righ tnow, and that's why we are watching a routine play over and over and over.
- I'm having trouble getting the ESPN tracker to work, but it appears Sparty just returned a kickoff for a touchdown for the second time this game, and it's now 28-24 Gophers. I would wager my kickass Protege (with Spoiler) that the Spartans win this game.
- Oh, nevermind it was only an 84-yard touchdown run, not a kickoff return. No need to panic, pretty routine.
- A-Rod dingers after Texeira walks. It's the Yankees first hit, the first higt A-Rod has ever gotten against Hamels, and it makes the score 3-2. On a related note, or not, somehow Michigan State now leads the Gophers 31-28. You pretty much have to get rid of Brewster, right? Maybe they bring in a new coach and keep Brewster on as tight ends' coach.or something.
- What the hell? Wanda Sykes is getting her own talk show?
- Error or Rodriguez to lead off the fourth. I guess we should call him E-Rod. Can a get a rimshot here?
- We finished Drag me to Hell. I'm going to lightly recommend it. Up next is Orphan, which I'm assuming involves some creepy kid. I have a feeling I'm going to be very wary of WonderbabyTM tomorrow.
- And now the Gophers are up again, thanks mostly to a fifty-three yard completion from Weber to someone named Da'Jon McKnight, who I have definitely never head of. What a crazy game. It's almost enough to make me wish I was watching.
- Uh, this Orphan movie is pretty effed up right here. Pretty sure that opening scene is going to give me nightmares for years. NICE MOVIE PICK MRS. W!
- Yankees tie it up on a Nick Swisher double and a Pettitte single. Yes, a Pettitte single. Call me crazy here, but maybe you don't throw your lollipop curveball to a career .134 hitter. I'm thinking it makes more sense to save that pitch for guys who can actually hit so you can disrupt their timing. Not a guy who you could throw nothing but fastballs too and he'd make contact 10% of the time. You are on thin ice, Hamels.
- And it's now 5-3 thanks to a Jeter bloop and a Damon double. And now he walks Texeira to bring A-Rod back up. and he's being yanked for Happ. We are so broken up. And not like a Lindsay Lohan/Samantha Ronson break-up, I mean real one.
- Sparty field goal, 35-34 Gophers. Wow.
- Just got a text from snacks, who is at the Gopher game, which is now 42-34 and clearly the craziest game ever. He told me to turn the game on, which I did, so I could see the weird Tow-Arnett deflection to Bennett thing, which might be the most unreal play I've seen in a long time. I kind of wish I was watching that game.
- This kid in this movie is creepy as all shit.
- Home run Swisher, 6-3 Gay-nkees. Interest level: waning.
- The NL version of Jason Kubel homers to lead off the sixth, and it's now 6-4. I am also now watching the last two minutes of the Gopher game, and I was all excited to watch Sparty march down in the last two minutes to end up tying it up, but instead some dumb bastard runs into the punter to give the Gophers a first down, and that should just about do it. Totally earned that victory, way to go, Brewster.
- So far the kid is just creepy, and hasn't killed anybody or poisoned anybody or lit anyone on fire yet or anything. She should probably get on that here pretty quickly, especially since her parents are horny pervs who get it on at the drop of a hat no matter who or what is around. Seriously, bending the wife over the kitchen table and going to town is good stuff, but when you have three kids and it's like 8pm, I'd probably advise against it. Pervs.
- J.D. Durbin. The Real Deal. And he still sucks. Couple hits, couple walks, and a run, and he was bailed out by what could only be described as the worst call in history - Posada was rung up on pitch that was well below the knees and about a foot outside. Almost wonder if the umps are supposed to make sure this thing gets back to New York. After those excerpts from the Donaghy book, who the hell knows what's going on in pro sports.
- Wait. This one is Chad Durbin, who has made a decent career out of being a middle reliever. The Real Deal hasn't pitched in the bigs since 2007, totaled just 72 innings pitched in his career, and is currently floundering about in the Dodgers' system. But perhaps most damning of all? Baseball Reference has a section for each player where it lists their nicknames. There is no mention of "The Real Deal" on his page. None whatsoever.
- She now pushed some mean girl down a slide and she hurt her ankle. This chick's evil level is closer to Nelson Muntz than Damien.
- Black taco.
- Well, now she killed some black nun lady by hitting her in the head wiht a hammer like, fifty times. That was pretty evil. But in her defense, she's Russian.
- Matsui takes Brett Myers yard to make it 8-4. Amazing somebody can hit the ball that far without opening their eyes. Also, Brett Myers? Seriously? God the Phillies' bullpen sucks. And now they're screwed. You can't go with Blanton tomorrow now, can you? Let's be honest, that guy is terrible, and if they go with Blanton it's going to be 3-1 Yankees. You need to go with pimp daddy Cliffy, it's the only way.
- Phillies' are down 8-4 in the 8th, and Marte is pitching. What they need to do is make the game close enough so Rivera has to come in. Obviously, ideally they would win, but barring that they need to at least make Mariano pitch.
- Good job Phillies. He strikes out two and gets Ibanez to line out. Worthless.
- I'd love to keep blogging this crap, but we're going to play strip Trivial Pursuit. I'm sure you understand. For now, Happy Halloween readers, from the W family:
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2 comments:
She could do way better.
Why didn't you dress up with the wofe and baby?
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