Thursday Thoughts

-  Can anyone explain this Derrick Rose thing?  So with the Bulls up 3-2 they have a chance to close out New Jersey in Chicago, knowing a loss sends this back to a game 7 in Jersey so this is basically a do or die game.  Both Kirk Hinrich, who started at PG in place of Rose all year, and Luol Deng, probably the team's best perimeter defender, are out and in case you forget New Jersey has Derrick Williams.  In Game 5 in a similar situation (no Hinrich) Williams abused Nate Robinson for 23 and 10 assists, and as I write this mid-way through the second quarter he already has seven assists.  All this could potentially be handled by Rose, you know the former MVP and all, coming back and playing which, by the way, his doctor's have cleared him to do.  It's just weird. 

- I'm all over Revolutionary for the Derby on Saturday (10/1 right now I believe).  He's got good results, he's ridden by Calvin Borel (the pimp daddy of all jockeys) and he drew a position near the rail but not on it (#3) which is where Borel loves to be.  There's also a good possibility of rain and Revolutionary rates as the 2nd best wet track horse in the field (behind Oxbow) and Borel likes sloppy tracks as well.  Everything sets up well for Revolutionary, which actually kind of scares me a bit, but I put a good amount on him to win and boxed him up with Normandy Invasion and Orb in a trifecta.  I also let the wife pick a horse (Goldensoul because she's a hippy at heart) and let the daughter pick one as well (Charming Kitten because she's five) while throwing a bit on Will Take Charge as my longshot and still hold a WIN ticket on itsmyluckyday that I put down on a couple of months ago.  I hit the winner 3 years ago (Super Saver) and wife hit it last year (I'll Have Another) so I think we're due for another win.

-  I made the decision not to get HBO this year in order to save money and I knew Game of Thrones was going to be the biggest test.  They tried to suck me in with the free preview that let me watch episode 1 but I held strong.  Then I spent the night at Snacks' place and he's got HBO and has all the episodes and we watched two over there and I thought I was screwed, but luckily I remember that all HBO subscribers get access to HBOGO so I can used Snacks' ID and stuff and watched the last couple to get all caught up and my god this show is just so amazingly good.

I am a huge fan of the books and I never, ever imagined they could have done it this well.  All the cool shit from the books was done right and all the stuff they changed, added, or eliminated has been done exceptionally well to the point where I honestly don't have any complaints.  There's tons of hot chicks and boobs and butts and stuff which is of course welcome, but honestly the story and the drama completely sucks me in even though I know what's going to happen already.  Daenarys with the unsullied, Jamie's hand, the fight at Craster's, even something with no action like Sansa discussing Joffrey with Margaery (hot as fire) and Lady Tyrell are all good enough to be the biggest moment of the season in pretty much any other show, and we ain't seen nothing yet.  If I had to pick the best 3 non-comedic tv shows in history I'd go with Lost (the first 3 seasons or so), Walking Dead, and Game of Thrones, and GoT is so far beyond those other two it'd be like if Jim Thome raced a horse.  A good horse.  Also no, I have never seen The Wire or Breaking Bad (although I plan to eventually) so shut it.

- So Kahn out, Flip in, eh?  Tough to fault it, and I'm sure Glen Taylor pours himself a drink every time he watches Steph Curry score 16 points in a quarter and then thinks about Jonny Flynn is probably on the And 1 Tour at this point.  Really, outside of Darko over Melo and Wade and Oden over Durant that might end up the worst draft pick of this generation.  Unfortunately, because otherwise Dawger will rake me over the coals in the comments, I have to admit that I thought Steph Curry was on the fast train to bustville.  I was convinced his big numbers at Davidson were because he played sub-par competition and his team was so dependent on him that he was going to score big no matter what, but I though his absolute upside was a spot up shooter like Steve Novak or Craig Hodges.  My oh my was I ever wrong.  The guy is a completely dynamic scorer and one of the best shooters I've ever seen.  If he ever figures out how to drive to the rim he's going to be unstoppable, and he kind of is already.  It takes a strong man with a great character to admit when he's wrong, and that man is me.

-  So Byron Buxton hit another home run tonight.  That's his fifth for Cedar Rapids and coming into the night he was hitting .383/.510/.667 with 5 doubles, 3 triples, 4 HRs, and 10 steals in 14 attempts.  Simply put - he's killing low A ball in just his second year and he's just 19 years old.  I know you don't want to rush a teenager, but it's just silly.  He's walking more than he's striking out, hitting for a huge average and showing massive power while stealing bases like crazy.  He leads the Midwest league in slugging, OPS, runs, and walks, is #2 in average and OBP, and is top 5 in homers, total bases, steals, RBI, and triples. Between him and Miguel Sano (.368/.435/.747 with 9 homers) the Twins might end up with two top 10 prospects when the mid-year Baseball America prospect ratings come out.  Pretty cool shit.

- I still can't believe Joe Johnson was ever a max deal player.

Six Very Important Things this Morning 7.28.10

1.  The Twins blitzed the Royals again.  Once again your beloved hometown 9 started the game strong, scoring two in the first (which could have been more but Denard Span has a serious aversion to staying on base), then coasted there way to an 11-2 win behind another offensive explosion from Danny Valencia.  Another four hit game for the not-a-slap-hitter gives him back-to-back four hit outings and makes four straight games with at least 3 hits.  Mauer, Hardy, Young, Cuddy, Span, and Butera each had at least two hits as well.  This team is absolutely rocking the ball.  Butera is nearly hitting .200 for christ's sake, what the hell is going on?  Maybe most impressively, Pavano was clearly not on last night the way he has been lately, but he was able to pitch around trouble for his five innnings, allowing only one run, and the bullpen took it from there.  They're really clicking right now, and if the non Pavariano starters can keep it together they could end up taking this thing.   hahahahahahahahahahahamakeatrade.

2.  Sticking with the Twins, apprently they're exploring Matt Capps.  According to Tim K. at ESPN they aren't happy with Rauch and have looked into acquiring Capps, and learned that the Nats would want Wilson Ramos back.  This is lunacy on so many levels.  Capps is nearly identical to Rauch.  Although he might be slighly better he's in no way Wilson Ramos better.  Maybe a Matt Tolbert better.  If this happens I quit being a fan.  Let's hope the Twins leave the exploring of Matt Capps to either Mrs. Capps or various ladies of ill repute, ok?  Speaking of which, ask me about Brendan Donnelly some time.

3.  Just when you thought the Wolves offseason couldn't get any more bizarre.  Newest news is that Jonny Flynn will be out 3-4 months due to hip surgery, which means the Wolves have now gone from three viable point guards to 1 + Bassy Telfair.  If you're scoring at home, Kahn has now essentially cleared house, getting rid of nearly everybody from the previous regime and now getting started on moving out his own guys, as Sessions and Hollins were both Kahn signings last offseason.  It's a bold move, and is it just me or does Kahn have a little Steinbrenner in him?  Who else would sign someone to a four year, $16 million dollar contract just to trade him the next year for a player who was immediately cut?  He basically kicked him out of bed in the middle of the night and didn't even supply cab money.  Ain't right.

4.  The baseball world holds its collective breath.   Super phenom (and fantasy team savior) Stephen Strasburg was scratched from his start against the Braves last night after he was "unable to get loose" in the bullpen.  That was the official explanation.  They said there was no pain or anything, he was just unable to get loose.  I usually find a couple of kamikazes does the trick.  Seriously though, this could potentially kill baseball. 

5.  NFL Writers in Cincinnati are going to be busy.  The Bengals, in keeping with their tradition of being a complete mess, have signed Terrell Owens.  If you were in the same room as me right now you would see me showing how much I care about this by making fart noises with my mouth.

6.  Best Second-Baseman Ever?  Rickie Weeks went deep again last night, which makes three consecutive nights and gives him six home runs in his last ten games.  For the year he's now up to 22 home runs, and is basically having the same season as Joe Mauer - if Mauer had 22 home runs, 7 steals, and played a god awful second-base.  But who cares about fielding when you're destroying the ball?  He might not have the average you'd always want and he strikes out quite a bit, but he also can take a walk and when he makes contact he hits the ball a ton.  So exactly like the exact opposite of every Twins' middle infielder ever, and Gardy's worst nightmare.


I'm hoping tomorrow's post is going to be a gopher hoops recruiting rundown, something I've been really neglecting since I am spending basically all my energy on the Twins for some reason.  Well, that and preparing the house for the new kid, who is really just going to be a time sink and money drain.  Joy!

Week In Review - 11/2/09

Thank the lord basketball is back, am I right fellas?  Honestly, I was getting a little tired of writing about football all the time, with all it's cover 2s and zone blitzes and drop kicks and statues of liberties.  I don't even know what most of that means, but all I know is I'm damn glad to be watching a little roundball again.

And speaking of Roundball, it sounds a lot like we may be getting some bad news from the U and Joel Maturi about Trevor Mbakwe today.  I don't want to get too much into it until the details all come out, but if what I think is about to happen does happen, this is just a horrible, horrible decision at best, and irresponsible and ruins someone's future at worst.  I am sure I'll get more into that later today when the everything is official. [NOTE:  It's official.  Post coming shortly]


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Adam Weber.  It's hard to evaluate the team's overall performance, since there are plenty of awesome things you can point to, but just as many sucky ones, but there's no doubt Weber impressed in Saturday night's big 42-34 win over the Spartans.  In his first full game without the next Wes Welker, Weber went 19-31 for a career high 416 yards and five scores, including two sixty-ish yarders to Duane Bennett, one of which was of the "immaculate reception" variety.  Weber seemed to choose Tow-Arnett as his new favorite receiver, and he caught 8 of the 19 completions the Gophers recorded for the game, but overall the ball was spread out, with six different Gophers making a catch.  I don't know if this is a step back in the right direction, or a good game against a forgiving defense, but for one week at least, Weber was certainly awesome.


2.  Carmelo Anthony.  Tearing.  It.  Up.  Like Zack Morris at a high school prom.  He's completely out of control.  In the Nuggets' three games this year (all wins) he's put down 30, 41, and 42 points.  As impressive as that is, he has shot 50, 53, and 58% in those three games from the floor, with overall shooting percentages of 54% from the floor, 43% from three, and 88% from the free throw line.  Oh, and he's also averaging 7.0 rebounds, 4.3 assists, and 1.3 steals, all of which would be career highs other than the rebounds (would be second best).  Want more?  He's also turning it over just two times per game, which, yes, would be a career best.  His 2003 draftmates Lebron and Wade may have had more success, and Lebron has an MVP while Wade has a championship, but Anthony looks like a whole different player.  I'm declaring this the Year of the Melo.

3.  Boston Celtics.  It seems the reports that the Celtics were too old or fading weren't exactly true.  Ok, so those might have been just eminating from my head and not the national media, but the point is that the C's went 4-0 here on opening week, and in impressive fashion at that.  The four wins were over title contender Cleveland, playoff teams Chicago and New Orleans, and a complete ass-stomping of doormat Charlotte.  As per usual, they did it with good defense (opponents FG% ranged from 31 to 42%) and a balanced scoring attack, with three different leading scorers and eight different players hitting double-digits in the four games.  KG looks like maybe he did hit a wall, and is maybe not quite the same player, but he's smart enough and still good enough (and tall enough) to play a good complimentary role.  If nothing else, that win over Cleveland let's all y'all know - the Celtics are a title contender.

4.  Jonny Flynn.  Looking very, very promising so far, leading the Wolves in scoring in their first two games with 17 and 18, including a big run in the fourth quarter of their first game (and only win) against New Jersey.  Now, he's not exactly the best distributor yet, with just three assists per game (which sadly leads the team), and turns it over a bit too much, which is typical for a rookie, but his overall play has been a delight.  He leads the team in scoring (15.3), as well as free throws both made and attempted (14-16).  He's proving difficult to guard, gets to the paint, and draws a lot of fouls.  Once his shot further develops and he becomes a better passer, he's going to be a star.  Sorry Rubio, point guard spots taken.  

5.  Percy Harvin.  Did you know that Brad Childress regularly ends special teams practice by having Percy return kicks with no blockers against the regular kickoff team - and he scores nearly 80% of the time?  Did you know Percy once raced Secretariat, and won by five and a half lengths?  Did you know Percy can catch a bullet fired out of a .357 Magnum between his fingers - from three feet?  Did you know Percy can get to a Donkey Kong kill screen every time?  Did you know Percy once knocked up your girlfriend just by winking at her?



WHO SUCKED

1.  Charlotte Bobcats.  While reading up for the coming NBA season, I saw more than one preview that mentioned the Bobcats would be much improved this year.  Then the season started, and they lost by thirty to the Celtics.  Then they only beat the craptastic Knicks by two and needed two overtimes to do it - at home, so I decided to actually look at their team and figure out if they were good or bad, and trust me - they're bad.  Not only did they shoot under 38% in both games, including a 31% failure against Boston, but there is nobody on this roster.  Ray Felton is solid, but behind him the only intriguing prospect is D.J. Augustin, and he plays the same position.  They are starting Gerald Wallace and Stephen Graham, and Vladimir Radmanovic is their seventh man.  This isn't an improving young team, this is a crappy team who can't even say it has a bright future, whoever is in charge has destroyed this team. 

2.  Michigan.  You probably pay more attention than I do, so you probably know that Michigan sucks in the conference season, but I didn't, so it's news to me.  I remember them coming out in the non-conference season and going 3-0 with a nice win over Notre Dame, and then nothing, but according to the standings they have gone just 2-4 since then, including what could only be called an embarrassing loss to Illinois on Saturday by the count of 38-13 - ouch.  Basically, other than Notre Dame their wins this year are over Indiana, Delaware State, Western Michigan, and Eastern Michigan.  It seems the reports that Wolverine football is back might have been a bit premature - just like you last night, from what I hear.

3.  Brad Lidge.  Christ, I don't even know where to start with this fucking guy.  First of all, if it's your job to cover third, cover third.  Secondly, don't hit a guy who has like, one hit in the entire world series.  Thirdly, don't get hit around by the next couple of guys as if you were Phil Humber when you're supposed to be an elite closer, to the point where the only reason you even got out of the inning is because Posada got tossed trying to go to second.  Look, you were known as "shaky" this year already, but this is unforgiveable.  I thought the whole Blanton starting thing was a huge mistake by Manuel, and they really needed to copy New York and go to a three man rotation, but they got a good effort out of Blanton and were right in the game at 4-4.  Enter Lidge, who is a walking implosion.  You just can't do that.  We can go ahead and give the rings to the stupid Yankees now if you want.  I give up.
 Screw you Philllies.

4.  Corey Maggette.  Started the season with a 3-14 shooting performance, and then followed it up going 2-7, all of which adds up to a 5-21 start and a 24% shooting percentage - worst in the NBA amongst qualified players.  And, just so you're aware, he also has twice as many turnovers as assists thus far.  Way to go Corey!  I always thought Magette would be better than he ended up being.  But I'm kind of an idiot, so no big shocker. 

5.  NCAA Fascists.  FREE DEZ BRYANT!  FREE DEZ BRYANT!  FREE DEZ BRYANT!  Who's with me?  FREE DEZ BRYANT!  FREE DEZ BRYANT!!  FREE.....



Now who is ready for some NCAA Basketball (even if it's just exhibition games)?  I can't wait.

DWG's NBA Preview (ok not really, just some stuff)

I was going to write an NBA preview, but I got bored after one division and plus I think this blog has been a bit "preview-y" lately.  Instead I'll just say that the Wolves suck but Jonny Flynn wins the Rookie-of-the-Year, Lebron just misses averaging a triple-double (something like 30-9-9) but the Cavs don't make the finals, and the remaining Nets fans (assuming there are some) revolt after they don't get Lebron despite having completely gutted their team to make a run at him.  Oh, and Magic over Spurs in the finals.

-  Since I just got back from a nice dinner with the in-laws at the 5-8 Club (Garlic cheeseburger, jojo potatoes, cole slaw, + a couple Mich Golden Draft Lights), and I have a few Miller High Lifes in the fridge, I think I will continue typing things for a little while.

-  It's finally happened.  The usually positive and upbeat Daily Gopher has cracked, with JG writing this 1,000 word rant going after Tim Brewster.  Needless to say, it's my favorite post ever.  How he was able to write that many words on Brewster and not use the word "suck" even once is a mystery to me.  If I wrote that long a piece about him, I'm pretty sure it would just be "Tim Brewster really sucks" except instead of one really there would be 997 of them.

-  Since I'm linking things, go ahead and try to read this Rick Reilly article without chocking on it's combination of sickly sweet cheesiness and irrational shitheadness.  I've written in here before, but Reilly has morphed from a pretty good, funny, and entertaininig journalist to some kind of unholy chimera-like combination of Sid Hartman, Patrick Reusse, a broken robot that only speaks in metaphor, and your upbeat super-religious aunt who has to spin everything in a positive light.  This one here might be the worst (it's the entry from 10/23, in case it's been pushed down), where he gives a whole ton of credit for the Yankees' great season to Nick Swisher - not for his play, but for his clubhouse fun demeanor, his hair styles, and his handshakes.  He actually states that the Yankees wouldn't go this far in the playoffs without Swisher.  Actually, I would have said Derek Jeter's resurgence, A-Rod not slumping in the playoffs, Jorge Posada's succesful return from injury, the best bullpen in the majors, and the additions of Mark Texeira, C.C. Sabathia, and A.J. Burnett have a lot more to do with it, especially considering his stats are nearly identical to what Bobby Abreau put up last year in the same position.

Look, I like Swisher, really I do, and he's a good player and by all accounts is a swell guy, but this is just another example of a journalists going out of their way to write a "human interest" piece where one doesn't belong, simply because the unwashed and uninformed masses eat this garbage up because it's too hard to understand statistics.  This kind of crap actually makes me angry, second only to when sharks roar in movies.  Of course, when the article started out comparing Nick Swisher being on the Yankees to Wanda Sykes being elected to the supreme court, I should have known this wasn't going to be an enjoyable (or in any way informative) read.  And what's with the shot at Kate Hudson?  Totally worthless.

-  I made a couple of NBA bets tonight, seeing as how I'm totally into THE LEAGUE right now:  Rockets +8.5, Mavericks -8.5, Cavs -5, Cavs/Celtics OVER 183, Nowitski OVER 33.5 pts + rebs, and Clippers +12.  Right now the Cavs are up 28-21 at the end of the first quarter - sounds good so far.

-  Speaking of the Clips, that really sucks that Blake Grifin broke his kneecap or whatever.  I was looking forward to seeing what he could do - I really think he can be an all-star from day one.  And on that note, don't you find it interesting that Bill Simmons constantly writes about the Clippers Curse, but also ripped any journalist who talked about the Red Sox Curse?  Interesting.  I'm still planning on getting his NBA book.

-  Shawn Marion is on the Mavericks?  I had no idea.  That guy has been passed around like Lindsay Lohan since he inexplicably forced his way off a contending team with the perfect system for him and a point guard who loved nothing more than sharing the ball.  Seriously, Marion was in a perfect situation in Phoenix.  He had a steady diet of Prime Rib, and switched it for Dinty Moore.  Hi was vacationing in Vegas and swapped it for Detroit.  He had a PS3 and turned it in for a Turbo Graphix.  He was humping Audrina and downgraded to Spencer's sister.  And keep in mind this was all voluntary.  Basically Audrina was laying on the bed in lingerie and waiting and he jumped in the car and drove across town for Spencer's ugly sister in her sweatpants eating ice cream out of the bucket and her four cats. 

Good call Shawn.

-  We're heading to the fourth, the Celtics leading the Cavs 72-65.  Want to be Lebron goes crazy in this quarter and the Cavs end up covering the five?  I would be willing to wager that Lebron (right now with 23 points, 1 rebound, and 7 assists) ends up scoring 20 this quarter.

-  No comments about Sano and the Twins?  Really?  And speaking of no comments, where the hell has the Sidler been.  I'm a bit concerned at this point.

-  If any of you go see this Robin Williams/John Travolta horrible thing of a movie that I just saw a trailer for, we can no longer be friends.  Not even a little bit.  They should just take every theater that is showing that, and after the coming attractions, burn the place down.  It's for the best.

-  Right now we are watching the Scream Awards, which are basically the Oscars for Sci Fi and Horror films.  The best actress in a Sci Fi award was just given to Megan Fox.  Come on.  Yes, she's hot.  I have no argument with that, but this is supposed to be taken seriously, right?  Then this should be for acting ability, not just hotness.  I don't think Megan Fox would be a standout actress at a high school production of Fiddler, but now that you mention it this picture:

  I'm pretty sure just having this picture on here is going to triple the traffic I get from google image searches.

-  Well, Lebron did manage to score 15 in the fourth, but he (and the rest of the Cavs) decided not to guard Paul Pierce and the Celtics ended up winning 95-89 (which covered the over, but not the spread). It seems I may have underrated the Celtics, since they beat the Cavs with a uninspiring performance from KG, in a game that may have highlighted how bad his knees are right now (he missed a big time hammer dunk).  Obviously Boston was just fine, thanks to a big time performance off the bench by Rasheed.  I'm telling you man, that Rasheed signing might have been the most important move anybody made this offesason.  Those two can tandem at the PF so well, Boston might not have much of a fall-off, even if KG's legs are all broken and such.

-  I was going to stay up and watch the whole second game (Lakers/Clippers), but it's now 20 minutes past the starting tip time and they still haven't gotten going.  I'm a very busy man, and can't just be held up by this, so I'm gonna sign off.

Who are these guys?

If you're like me, you don't much care about the NBA until the playoffs even though you love the game of basketball.  You also find yourself irrationally getting a little excited before the start of every NBA season, only to have that excitement and "caring" wear off as soon as you watch your first game.  Since I haven't watched a preseason game or anything, I still have that tiny bit of excitement on me, much like the blood and mucus all over a new born baby, but I have one question, "Who the hell is on the Wolves?"

Seriously, with David "the" Kahn taking over and making trade after trade after signing, and with Ricky Rubio chilling over in Spain for a few more years, I really don't know who ended up on the team.  So let's see.

POINT GUARDS

-  Jonny Flynn.  You probably know who this is.  The rookie from Syracuse who has scared Rubio so much that he won't even cross the Atlantic, and will likely start from Day 1, I think.  He's had a huge preseason, leading the team in assists and coming up second in scoring at 13.8 points per game.  Since I assume NBA Preseason success correlates perfectly with NBA Regular Season success, much like MLB or the NFL, I'm going to call him as rookie of the year, and probably a first ballot hall-of-famer.

-  Ramon Sessions.  I remember watching him at Nevada, and then I remember being surprised he was in the NBA, and then I remember being really surprised that the Wolves signed him for $4 million a year for four years, and then I remember being shockingly stunningly surprised by this article and the following comments that the $16 million contract was a steal for the Wolves.  Looking up the stats on my internet device, it appears he averaged 12 points and 6 assists per game last year, which sounds pretty good to me.  So, I guess like, good job Kahny?

-  Antonio Daniels.  Huh.  My brain tells me that this guy was a pretty decent player for the Spurs a few years back, and it seems odd that they would bring him in given the two point guards I already wrote about.  Let me confirm, hold on.  Yep, turns out he was a pretty decent player for ten years on a couple of pretty good teams - too bad he's coming into year 13 right now.  He put up career worst stats last season, but with two young and promising point guards on the team, a veteran who has been on more than a couple of playoffs team is probably a good idea for a mentor.  I approve of this.

-  Jason Hart.  This guy is still kicking around?  I remember him as somewhat of a disappointment coming out of Syracuse, but he's carved out a nice nichey career for himself as a third point guard on bad teams.  Now that I write it down, it feels like a match made in heaven.

-  Mustafa Shakur.  I'm laughing right now, I'm seriously laughing.  There's not a chance in hell this guy makes the team, but god bless you for trying.  He wasn't even that good at Arizona, and he spent the last few years playing in a Polish league with guys like the pride of UW-Green Bay Jeff Nordgaard and MSU benchwarmer Drew Naymick.  I wish I had known he was on the team, I totally would have gone to a preseason game.

SHOOTING GUARDS

- Sasha Pavlovic.  Clearly this is a pretty big weakness for the team, given that I'm listing this grease ball as the starter.  Actually guess what?  I have no idea who this is.  I thought it was the guy from the Lakers, but it turns out this guy has played for the Cavaliers for the last five years.  Seriously, I have no idea who this is, but he has a career scoring average of less than six per game.  Awesome.

-  Wayne Ellington.  He hasn't been great in the preseason, but he has shot 46% from three, which is awesome and exactly what they drafted him to do - hit the three pointer.  Of course, it's hard to fathom how a team would use a three point bomber when they're terrible, but with Al Jefferson requiring a double-team and a good drive-and-kick style guard like Flynn, Ellington will have opportunities to fill it up.  I anticipate some big games out of Ellington, surrounded by a lot of nothing games, but that's fine, as long as somebody can shoot the ball.

-  Damien Wilkins.  Meh.  I mean, he's totally meh.  He's not awful, but he's not going to make your pants tight or anything.

-  Devin Green.  I have no idea who this is.  Instead, you should know that Rusty Gatenby is a really funny name. 

SMALL FORWARDS

-  Corey Brewer.  Coming off a major injury, it's pretty much go time for the guy I said would be "The best player in this draft not named Durant."  So yeah, let's do it Corey.  He filled it up in the preseaons, leading the Wolves with 14.3 points per game, although he's shot just 37%, which is completely terrifying.  Hopefully he can still play defense, or he's gunning for some kind of Least Valuable Player award.  Also, he's almost certainly going to be starting at shooting guard, thanks to shitbox collection of shooting guards on this team and because they're far more talented at SF.

-  Ryan Gomes.  The likely starter, this guy has turned into a pretty good player since coming out of Providence and being drafted late in the second round.  Gomes has developed a really good mid-range jumper, and if he wasn't just a little bit too slow to be a true 3 and a little bit undersized to be a true 4, he might be an all-star.  I'm totally serious, and perhaps slightly delusional.

POWER FORWARDS 

-  Kevin Love.  He has been screwed, as in he now has several screws in his left hand and is going to miss six-to-eight weeks of action, which sucks.  Love won't ever be like, a perennial all-star type, but he's a damn fine player and had a very good rookie season in which he almost averaged a double-double.  He was getting better and better too, and in the last 8 games of last season he recorded six double-doubles.  I really like this kid, and this injury sucks.

-  Oleksiy Pecherov.  I don't really know who this is, but I know two things:  1)  he's seven feet tall, but just 234 lbs., is listed as a PF instead of a center, and is a commie Euro so he is clearly softer than The Todd's belly after a visit to Pancheros, and 2)  Pecker off. ahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah.

-  Brian Cardinal.  God it makes me very upset that this guy is on a Minnesota team, but not as upset as realizing he's made several tens of millions of dollars in his career by having zero talent but being slightly tall and possessing an embarrassing willingness to fall on the ground.  Seriously, you remember this doofus nerd from Purdue, right?  Did you know he won Purdue's "Mr Hustle" and "Courage" award all four years he was there?  Barf.

CENTERS

-  Al Jefferson.  Definitely the star of the team, definitely more a PF than a center but forced to play center, and definitely is dealing with both the flu and an achilles tendon problem, which always sounds like the most painful thing in the world to me.  You know, if you slice someones achilles and they try to golf, when his weight displacement goes back he won't be able to come through because his weight will all be on his right foot and he'll push everything to the right.  Probably end up quitting the game. 

-  Ryan Hollins.  UCLA guy, typical college center type, good scorer around the basket and automatically a good rebounder by virtue of being seven feet tall, but really nothing special.  Sadly, he's the best of a mishmash of crappy back up centers.

-  Mark Blount.  This guy was on the team before, and he sucked and was overpaid then.  Now he's older and is making $8 million dollars a year to score four points a game.  The only way having him on the team even makes a lick of sense at this point is if they got him as part of a trade and he's coming off the books after this year so they can make a run at LeBron.  *giggle*

-  Jared Reiner.  The internet tells me that this goofball played for Iowa, and I know it wouldn't lie to me, but I sure as hell don't remember him.  That could be because Iowa has consistantly had a string of high energy, no talent, tall, skinny, worthless centers who all somehow manage to grab a cup of coffee in the NBA.  Remember Brad Lohaus?  Don't tell me cloning a human isn't possible, because Iowa has been doing it since he graduated.


So that's the roster as it stands right now.  I know there were a lot of moves and some guys who were here are gone, but I have no idea where.  I know they had Quentin Richardson (pure shooter), Etan Thomas (defensive force at the Cuse), and the communist from Wake Forest all at some point, but it seems they're gone now.  Looking like a long year folks, but, with a little luck and a few more injuries, that #1 pick will be in reach.

First Annual (but not really) NBA Draft Diary

Draft time. I usually just comment on the picks that night or the next day, but this should be fun right here. A lot of picks, and already a lot of trades in the NBA (not just the Wolves). The Shaq trade is interesting. I won't pretend to know enough to really break it down, but I know Shaq is still good enough to average 18 and 8 and the Cavs got him for essentially zero. And his contract expires after next season, so they really aren't giving up that flexibility. Basically I have no idea what the Suns are freaking doing. And I just learned that Vince Carter is headed to the Magic for Skip 2 My Lou and change. I haven't really looked at it yet, but my knowledge tells me anybody getting Vince Carter is on the wrong end of the deal.

Anyway, it should be cool, and I'll be here to document all the mistakes, like whoever drafts Stephen Curry, Brandon Jennings, or Roy Hibbert II (Thabeet), as well as whoever grabs the bargains, like Ty Lawson, Austin Daye, Earl Clark, or Sam Young. So here we go.

- Clippers take Blake Griffin, no surprise. You know, people who believe in curses, as just profiled on ESPN and in Billy Simmons article on ESPN, are idiots, but man have the Clips have a shit-ton of bad luck. Danny Manning and Shaun Livingston's injuries are two of the worst derailers I can remember, not counting Len Bias. Griffin and Eric Gordon are a nice young inside/outside punch. Maybe they finally turn it around?

And speaking of idiots, can Dazzle and Gordy please please please stop talking about the Sports Illustrated curse? Please. I'm begging. I'm seriously on my knees right now, begging. Please? That's the kind of stupid thing that only dudes like Dawger believe in, but he also believes in things like tarot cards, alien abductions, leprechauns, and the holocaust, so what does that tell you? {NOTE: El Chupacabras and vampires are real.)

- Fun Fact - Blake Griffin wants to host Saturday Night Live, and Tivo's it every week. My money is on his favorite sketch being "The Target Lady."

- The Memphis nightmares take Thabeet, and thank god for that. Look, he might end up being a Dikembe Mutombo, but I don't think he'll even end up that good. His offensive game is barely functional right now, and he is awfully soft for a 7-2 shot blocker. He makes me very, very nervous, but everything I read said he's a good fit for the Grizzlies, so good for them. Fun Fact - Thabeet's MUST IMPROVE: Offensive game. Well no shit.

- And Kevin Durant gets play with James Harden, in what I consider a surprise. I didn't expect harden and is Urkel-suit to go quite this early, I figured the Wolves could grab him at 5 or 6. The real good news here is that the Wolves are going to get either Evans or Rubio. Of course, they are now set up pretty well to take your boyfriend Stephen Curry, too.

- The Kings steal Tyreke at #4. I love this pick. I think, other than Griffin, Evans has the biggest chance to be a star out of this class. He's also kind of an idiot, but he's young and his ability to get to the rim, play defense, and overall out-athletic everybody makes him an almost automatic success. Crap. At least we'll get Rubio.

- BAM! Ricky Rubio on his way to the Wolfies. Obviously, I wish I had seen this kid play so I could evaluate him, but everything I've heard I like. Young kid, held his own on the international stage, has been a pro in Europe since age 14, is just supposed to be an overall stud. As a bonus, he speaks broken Engrish so he's going to a quote laugh machine. The downside is that he's only 18 and the groupies are going to eat him alive, and he looks like a Jonas brother. Jay Bilas just said, "Rubio has a Gretzky-like feel for the court." What?

- I don't even want this pick right now. I hate Hill and Curry, and there's no way they'll take Flynn here. Either figure out a way to trade it, or just take Terrence Williams. Crap, they're going to take Curry, aren't they? They are, right? Just tell me, I can take it.

- Oh thank god. Flynn is the pick, and I'm not sure but I think might have just gotten a little bit of a boner. Two PGs is a bit of a question mark, but Rubio is going to take some time (like a season or two) to be ready, so you put the ball in Flynn's hands now and then see how the two of them develop together. Flynn is supposedly a good leader, although all I saw is him leading Donte Greene to shoot nothing but threes and Eric Devendorf to hit some bitch, but I don't give two craps about that. He can ball, and he can get to the rim. Loving this pick. LOVING.

- I'm pumped.

- Atlanta just traded for Jamal Crawford, giving up Acie Law and Speedy Claxton. I'm bored by this. Twenty bucks says the Warriors take Hill here.

- Nope, they go with Curry. Wow. And, unfortunately for me, this is probably the one place Curry can thrive (or the Knicks, actually, whose fans are booing like crazy right now). A team without much of a half-court game that relies on the run and gun and doesn't play much defense is actually a good recipe for success for Curry. They'll be in their best shape if they have a good PG (I seriously have no idea. Tim Hardaway?) so he can just find his spots on breaks. Crap. He's going to have a good year but he still straight up sucks.

- Knicks take Jordan Hill. That guys a nightmare. Not for opponents, for the team that picked him. Mark it down.

Speaking of marking things down, I heard a discussion between Danny Gladden and Gordon today on the radio about who the Twins best pitcher had been this year. Gladden said, "Well, Blackburn has the innings and the ERA, but Slowey has the wins so I'll go with him." I shit you not.

- Derozan goes 9th to Toronto. The only thing I know about the Raptors is that they have Chris Bosh. The only thing I know about Derozan is that he is the reason Lil Romeo ended up with a scholly to USC. (FYI Lil Romeo - 2 minutes per game, 0.5 points - career high = 2 vs. UT-Martin).

- Milwaukee takes noted gigantic crybaby whiner idiot failure Brandon Jennings. HAHAHAHAHA. Way to go Wisconsin. You guys always suck at everything that isn't college football or basketball, up to and including just being a human being. And now this isn't going to help. Although Jennings will fit in well with all the other failures of humanity in that god-forsaken state. Other than Mike Redd, have the Bucks every had a a good pick? Don't forget, they traded Dirk Nowitzki for Tractor Traylor. I love Wisconsin.

- Just saw more details in the Vince/Skip 2 My Lou trade. Orlando also gave up Courtney Lee (bummer) and Tony Battie (more irrelevant than Dawger's opinion), but New Jersey also gave up Ryan Anderson, formerly of Cal. That is going to be the sneaky difference here. Anderson was an offensive stud in college, but was (and still is) weak on defense, but he will continue to develop. He put up 7 and 5 in twenty minutes per game this year. Looks like a throw-in, but makes this trade a very shrewd one by Orlando.

- Crap, NJ takes Terrence Williams who I was still hoping against hope would keep sliding. Hopefully Earl Clark will be there instead. There are a lot of uninspiring big men/wing men that the Wolves could end up with, but Clark would be a steal. Fun fact: Williams carried his books in a barbie backpack in high school to be "different." Suddenly, and politically correctly, I'm very happy he didn't end up a Wolf. We don't need no queers in the locker room, I'm pretty sure most of that team is a couple of glasses of wine and a back massage away from some "experimentation."

- Bobcats (that still cracks me up) take Gerald Henderson in a pretty uninspiring pick. Isn't that team made up of nothing but Tar Heels at this point? Isn't this like introducing a stupid dog into a house of awesome cats? Seems like team chemistry would be destroyed here. Ron Gardenhire isn't going to be happy about this.

- Pacers go for Hansbrough at 13. It's kind of a shame, he would have been absolutely perfect for Salt Lake City, but the second best fit is Indiana. Don't they just seem like they always have a bunch of white guys flitting about, going back to Smits and Schrempf? Also I love the NY crowd, firing up an overrated chant. Sweet. Amount of seconds his mouth was closed during his interview = 0.

- Fun fact: Hansbrough helped a man having a seizure on a plane on the way back from the Maui invitational. See haters, hustle and gamey-ness always come in handy. I bet Nick Punto would have found a way to rebuild that guy as the next 6-million dollar man.

- Phoenix, seemingly in give up mode after throwing Shaq to Cleveland for basically nothing, crush my hopes and dreams by taking Earl Clark. Damn you Dan Majerle. Damn you to hell.

- DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now they're going to take someone stupid like BJ Mullens. Ugh. Don't ruin it now, you're doing so well! Please, please, please take Austin Daye instead. Please.

- Jennings being interviewed about skipping college to play in Europe, "It's a great experience, I think more kids will do it and more kids should, it was great." Really? What happened to this? You're a god damned liar, Jennings.

- Ugh, kill me in the face. Daye gets taken by Detroit at 15. Yes, he's a little soft and a little weak right now, but his all around game is absolutely off the charts. This sucks. I love this guy. BJ Mullens here we come.

- Dickie V loves the Hansbrough and the Curry picks. I'm shocked. Claims Hansbrough should have been a lottery pick and Curry will be rookie of the year. Isn't it about time to "retire" him. Like, the way they "retire" snitches in the mob?

- The Bulls take James Johnson from Wake, which surprises me since they are probably losing Ben Gordon. Johnson never impressed me either. I'm calling this the fourth worst pick behind Curry, Thabeet, and Hill.

- You know who would be great at 18 now? DeJuan Blair. He's like Craig Smith, but with skill, drive, hustle, and talent. This would be excellent.

- 76ers take Jrue Holiday. I watched a couple UCLA games last year, and he really never stood out to me - at all. I haven't seen nearly enough of him to really bash this pick or anything, but I know he's no Cameron Dollar.

- Wolves up. With #18 they go with Ty Lawson. I love this pick, but they already took two point guards. Best player available strategy? I am a little confused, but I don't really love anybody else here, and I think Lawson is absolutely the best pick in this spot, if you aren't paying attention to positions of need. Trade in the works? I don't know, I'm too drunk to really evaluate this pick right now.

- UPDATE: Lawson is heading to Denver for a future first round pick that is originally coming from Charlotte. Since Charlotte is so shitty, I definitely approve of this. You realize this could end up being Ralph "Black Jesus" Sampson III next year.

- I had some Chuckles this weekend. You know, Chuckles.

Black and Orange are the best, Green is the worst. I didn't even know they made them anymore, but sure enough, if you go to the gas station with the White Castle in it in Hinckley, you can get not only Chuckles, but also Bottle Caps, Necco Wafers, and Charleston Chews. It's like a time machine created by a joint venture between Jesus and Willy Wonka, only with stench of White Castle Ass wafting in from the background.

- Jeff Teague from Wake at #19 to the Hawks. I could pretend I know anything about Atlanta here, but I'd be lying. When I saw they made the playoffs this past season I assumed I had wandered into a time machine - one perhaps created by Jesus and Willy Wonka.

- Jazz take Eric Maynor. Very good player, excellent pick, but Utah is a horrible fit. The Jazz have the point locked up for the next ten years in Deron Williams. They just grabbed a guaranteed back up point guard in the first round. Although Snacks has been texting me bitching about the Rubio/Flynn combo and how they drafted a backup point at either 5 or 6, despite the fact that there was nobody there to pick at 6 other than a point guard and I assume they couldn't trade it. Nobody ever said Snacks was a good basketball mind.

- Charlotte New Orleans Hornets go with Darren Collison, continuing the run on back up point guards since they already have the supremely overrated Chris Paul. I don't like Collison much. He's very much like a Jacque Vaughn. I mean, I guess if you're looking for a fluffer you're good here.

- Portland apparently moved up from 24 to 22 for some reason when I wasn't paying attention, or so Stew Scott tells me. And they take some Spanish retard. The Blazers have a ton of young guys under contract for a few years, so a Euro makes sense, but I really don't get moving up to get him. There's a lot of weird shit going on these days. I'm cautiously optimistic about the new Wolves' guy so far. Two PGs at 5 and 6 is a bit off, but they were the two best players available and nobody else really stood out at those spots. The trade of the 18th pick didn't cost you anybody overly exciting after Clark and Daye were scooped up, and has a good chance of being a lottery pick next year, since it comes from Charlotte, not Denver. Like I said, cautiously optimistic.

- I'm starting to think they need to sell Vodka by the keg. That would probably be a negative on my draft resume.

- Speaking of Vodka, Sacramento takes some Russian. Actually, they're trying to tell me he's from Israel, but he doesn't look Jewish so I stick by my Russian call. The part of the draft when everybody takes the commies is super boring. Let's get into the drafting of college guys who I have heard of but have no shot at being good in the NBA.

- They just interviewed Shaq about the trade. I fast forwarded through the whole thing. Eff that guy.

- Dallas takes BJ Mullens. Isn't this the same franchise that took Shawn Bradley? And some other guy whose name began with an A who I don't remember? I actually think Mullens has a shot to be decent, even though I bashed him earlier. He showed some seriously nice moves at times last season, and has more polish than a lot of seven footers who hit the NBA. I'm thinking he will either end up being a very, very good player or completely disappear. Not a lot of in between here.

- I just made a reference to Goofus and Gallant from Highlights magazine to Mrs. W, who proceeded to ask me just what exactly was wrong with me. Somebody else has to remember them, right?

- Somebody who is picking take another foreign bastard. What is going on here? Do I need to shut this down? How are DeJuan Blair and Sam Young still on the board?

- The Bulls take Taj Gibson, one of the most overrated players in the history of history. And he's not that much different than Ty Thomas, so I'm not sure what the point of this pick is.

- Finally a good pick, seems like it's been forever. Memphis takes Demare Carroll from Missouri. Although, again, they already have Hakim Warrick, so not sure what the exact point is. Is this what the draft has been reduced to - picking backups? I don't really know, I haven't paid this much attention to the draft in years, but I remember the entire first round seeming very impactful. Maybe it was my own naivety.

- Interesting pick here by the Wolves at #28 in UNC's Wayne Ellington. Nobody would ever think he'll be a star, but he could be a good fit with the Wolves. With Miller and Foye shipped out, there really isn't a shooter left on this team. With Rubio and Flynn, there are going to be some drive and kick opportunities. Similar to Curry, Ellington might have just found himself in a situation where he can thrive and produce well above his actual abilities. I don't love this pick, but it could work - work to help them win 21 instead of 19 games the next couple of seasons, but still.

- Ok, screw that. I can't believe they didn't take Blair or Young here. Either of them would have been a good pick at #18, and they are both still there. Ellington is only a good pick here if you are on the cusp of contending and need a shooter to put you over the top. He has no room to improve, and is a good bit role player, but with an upside of Mike Miller. Blair and Young offered you more. Dropped the ball here, big time.

- Lakers take Toney Douglas from FSU and Cleveland grabs some dude from the Congo (genetically altered Ape programmed to kill? That would be a good pick) to close out round 1. I'm tired and drunk and tired and am a little burned out. I'll take a look at round 2 tomorrow.