Monday, August 3, 2009

Well I'm Screwed

Look, I'm not an idiot here. I understand there are really only four things remotely interesting to readers of this blog:

1. Gopher news if From the Barn and the Daily Gopher are both on vacation (and the Gopher Hole is down for maintenance).
2. Live Movie Blogs
3. Drunken ramblings from various cities my job makes me go to
4. Super Sioux Fan posts.

Well, with my company tightening up business travel, I haven't gone anywhere in a while, so strike that. And now even worse news: Super Sioux Fan is on to bigger and better things.

No, she's not dead, although that seems pretty likely with her love of guns and fisticuffs and her whorish mouth and lack of respect for her betters. Nope, she is on to her very own blog, Diary of a Sioux Fan. I made her into what she is, and she runs off like the blog's bicycle she is with nary a word of warning, a heads up, or a good bye. So it's like that then? Now I know how Ben Affleck feels at the end of Good Will Hunting.

Well good luck, jerk ass. If you ever feel like sending us your random thoughts, you will still be published immediately. I hope your blog burns to the ground along with that garbage dump of a city you miss so fondly.

- As long as I'm here, I'll let you people know that I do have the opportunity to do a little business traveling at the end of September. I will be heading for Detroit and Ontario for two nights, and even better, the Twins will be playing the Tigers when I'm there. I realize the game won't matter at that point because the Twins will be mathematically eliminated, but it still gives me a good excuse to check out Comerica.

As a matter of fact, I ordered the tickets today. Thanks to the destroyed economy in Detroit, I was able to get two tickets (I'm traveling with a co-worker) in the front row for just $22 a piece. Seriously, thanks economy. They actually had tickets available for $4, which is just sad, especially since technically that game might end up being important (even though we know there's no chance). Thanks layoffs! Hopefully karma doesn't end up shanking me when I'm walking back to the hotel after the game.

I'm equally scared of Canada. Those people are wackos. Do they take American money? Or do I have to get twoonies and loonies? Terrifying.

- Ok fine, I wasn't going to post tonight but now I'm typing and typing is like a drug to me. So is alcohol. Which I'm currently drinking.

- This story makes me chuckle, particularly because I know one guy (Snake) who is all over this dude's nuts, but Matt Leinart is continuing his downward spiral. Last year he walked in camp as the favorite to win the QB job, but was outplayed by Jesus and lost out to Kurt Warner and his hot wife. This year he's back competing for a job, but according to this article he's now competing with Brian St. Pierre for the back up job. Just reading the words Pierre make me think of Dakota which makes me think of North Dakota which reminds me of the betrayal I just got hit with by Super Sioux Fan. I'm shaking my fist at her right now.

Anyway, this is funny because this guy freaking sucks. He's got the physical tools, but he's got the proverbial ten cent head. Always chasing the muff around. Although the more I look at this picture, the more I think maybe he's making the right decision.

Carry on, Matt, carry on.

- Mrs. W and I watched Spring Break Shark Attack this weekend, the first time I had seen it since it originally aired four years ago, and it is still the third best shark movie ever made. A mostly realistic plot that focuses on the shark as the antagonist (mostly), no terrorists, government agencies, or treasure, no footage of the wrong shark species, and no roaring or revenge involved. It's not like it's a great movie, but in the hierarchy of shark movies it's not that hard to get to the top. If you are looking for some shark stimulation, give this baby a rental.

- I've mentioned this before, but seriously I love what the Pirates are doing. They weren't going to win with the group they had, so instead they just shipped basically everybody away and reloaded with prospects. They traded away a heap of mediocrity (other than McLouth) and got some intriguing prospects back in return.

SP Tim Alderson was ranked the #26 prospect in all of baseball. OF Jose Tabata, who they picked up last year in the Nady/Marte trade, is ranked #32. OF Gorkys Hernandez and SP Jeff Locke, picked up for McLouth, are ranked 88th and 97th.

Add in home grown talent OF Andrew McCutcheon (#19 prospect in baseball) and 3B/1B Pedro Alvarez (#38) and, at the very least, and suddenly a team mired in nightmare mode has six prospects ranked in the top 100. And there are plenty of other guys they picked up who might be outside of the top 100, but lend some upside.

Lastings Milledge was the top prospect in the Mets' system a few short years back, but his attitude more than his aptitude has made the Pirates his third team in two years. The upside is still there. C/1B Jeff Clement, formerly of the Mariners, is in a similar mold. A top prospect a few short years ago, the shine is gone, but he still has potential. Pitchers Jose Ascanio and Kevin Hart, both picked up from the Cubs, have a good chance to be major league contributors. Overall the Pirates picked up ten pitching prospects in just the week before the deadline.

Will it work out? Who knows, but at least they are going for it. I'm officially calling the Pirates my second favorite team - with solid potential to become #1.

- If you're a Down with Goldy facebook friend, I just added a few WonderbabyTM pictures to my account. And if you aren't a friend of DWG, what are you waiting for?

- Ali Larter got married. I'm now dead inside. Seriously. Look at how she looks like a normal person just going to the grocery store.
Yamma-hamma.

- Since I feel I should close with sports, since this is ostensibly a sports blog, I will close with a preview of the three game series vs. the injuns:

Your precious Twinks should have the advantage. Game one is Scott Baker vs. Aubrey Huff, except it's not Aubrey but I don't want to look up the name of some dude who sucks. Game 2 is Liriano vs. Laffey, and it seriously hurts me inside knowing that Cleveland will be favored here. Game 3 is supposed ace BB Gun vs. Fausto Carmona, who has basically fallen off a cliff after that one good season he had that one time.

So they should be able to win 2 of 3 without much trouble. And yet, they won't. I fully expect Huff (who is a lefty) to shut them down in game one, and with Moon Shot Scott on the hill, the Tribe will be putting up at least six. Game 2 Liriano will continue his spiral into David West-ville. Expect a terrible Indians lineup to nevertheless manage to put up double-digits here, with Liriano failing to get through the fourth and a piss poor bullpen not stopping anything. Game 3 is where I see hope breaking through, with Blackie pitching a good game but, as tends to happen, fallen star Carmona finds his 2007 form, the game comes down to bullpens, and well, you know how this ends. Crain Wreck continues his journey to set the major league record for batters faced without recording an out, and the Twins leave Cleveland after getting swept, season over.

Season.

Over.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

"crain wreck", brilliant!

snacks said...

Wasn't spring break shark attack the one where they go like an hour plus with no mention or sighting of the shark? If its the one I'm thinking of, I believe the plot also involved roofies.

Also, I would prefer to refer to Liriano's downward spiral as going into Dontrelle Willis-ville.

WWWWWW said...

Dontrelle Willis is perfect, I couldn't think of anybody last night.

Yes, there is a stretch of time with little to no shark action, and there are roofies involved.

It's still the third best shark movie ever.

SSF said...

WWWW- I was gonna tell you buddy I promise.
Dawg is your idiot friend and I kinda stole his limelight on DWG. Dawg cant handle that kind of rejection.

But thanks for giving my blog a shout out!

WWWWWW said...

Because I don't really know where else to put this:

Right now Paul Allen is talking about the documentary he watched last night called "Air Jaws." He's been talking about it for like a half hour.

It's from 2001 and has been on the Discovery Channel about 700 times since then.

Once again, PA is an idiot.

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