Sunday, December 14, 2008

Shark Attack 3: Megla-awesome

I'm supposed to be getting ready to head to the airport so Bogart can interrupt his Viking game viewing to pick us up, but the first twenty minutes of Shark Attack 3: Megalodon on Sci Fi has really sucked me in. In the bad way, and not just because of some of the worst acting in the history of acting, but because of the complete disregard for any semblance of realism.

In the first 20 minutes:

1. Dude finds a shark tooth that is going to end up being a Megalodon tooth. However, it's the size of a medium-sized Great White tooth. Megalodon tooth should be at least 3x bigger.

2. He can't identify it, even though he's a marine biologist and a Megalodon tooth is identical to a Great White's, the most famously recognizable tooth, except bigger. And then he looks it up in the "Shark Tooth Database" and couldn't find an entry. For a Great White shark tooth. In the Shark Tooth Database.

3. We then get some action of a shark in the water, but the footage they used was shark footage pirated from some poor documentary, and they didn't bother to make sure all the footage was of the same species. That's right, the supposed shark seems to alternate between being a Great White and a Bull Shark. The it dies, and we don't have any idea why, and the marine biologist guy identifies it as a "Sand Tiger" so everybody loses.

4. Finally, Megalodon makes an appearance and eats a punk rocker couple who go swimming at night, but guess what it does right before it attacks? That's right, it roars. Like a lion. Because I guess that's what movie sharks do. At least this time it wasn't for revenge. I don't think.

Since I have to get going, I'll make a promise to you that I will certainly almost maybe rent this and live blog the rest of it. It's too awesome not to.

And yes, I realize I'm a giant dork.


Dharma Bum said...

Yeah, well you're a moron biologist!

Megladon Part 3 said...

This is seriously one of the best posts in a LONG time......basically since the last shark post. I like it.

WWWWWW said...

Good news for you then. There was some movie on Sci Fi a few days ago called "Sharks in Venice" about Sharks in Venice, and it stars one of the Baldwin Brothers. And I Tivo'd it. Expect a live blog when I eventually watch it - hopefully drunk.

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