Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Gophers vs. Virginia

Ok, so I am back from a good dinner at BW3's (spicy garlic) and a few beers, and I have a bunch of beer in my full size refrigerator since my room is basically like a palace and I'm ready to watch the Gophers. Especially after picking all three games in the Big Ten/ACC Challenge correctly - I told you about Miami PJS, I told you. Speaking of them, they probably have a nice live chat setup and I'm guessing From the Barn does too, so you should probably just head over there if you're looking for interaction.

- This game is huge. Not for the Big Ten/ACC thing, because let's be honest, that's kind of stupid, although it probably wouldn't kill the Big Ten to win this thing once, but for the Gophers. They are favored by 8, and if they can manage to win this game it kind of will make me believe in them. A loss here cripples my hopes and dreams and will probably make me cry. Not Ralph Sampson though. If the Gophers lose, he'd just shrug.

- 20 seconds in and we have our first Ralph Sampson's dad reference. I'm going to go ahead and guess it's not the last.

- Just a minute later and there's number 2.

- Damian Johnson with a brick and an airball from three in the first 2.5 minutes. I still don't know who had the bright idea to give him the green light to chuck threes. Get your ass in the paint.

- Westbrook clearly feeling it tonight, hitting an 18 footer off a forty foot passed that bounced with no hesitation. Colton looking very good and very aggressive. Right now I'm feeling a big time Gopher win tonight, and I'm never optimistic. I feel like a pretty little girl sashaying around the park in my pretty little dress.

- And that's three mentions of Sampson and son. Ugh. But Ralph the senior is in the building tonight. He looks like he has cancer and aids. and a heroin addiction.

- This little white dude is pretty good. Reminds me a lot of Andy Rautins from the Cuse.

- Busch = one catch, one shot

- Shamala has a three blocked which leads to a dunk on the other end for the Cavs. I'm not so sure he has a place on this team against athletic teams like Virginia. He definitely has a place, I'm just not sure where in this kind of game. Except maybe the bench. That might work.

- Did I just hear Virginia has a dude named Farrakhan? That's awesome.

- HOff three, great move by the Black Panther for Virginia, and another three for the Hoff. The Barn is going crazy and this sucks that I'm in lame ass Orlando. You know who is in my seat tonight? Effing The Todd. You know what he knows about basketball? That he looks like Spencer Tollackson and Rick Rickert smells nice, that's it. Meanwhile, I'm in the capital of horrible drivers, with nothing but chain restaurants and dog crap restaurants all around me, and by day I have to spend my day from 8-6 in a stupid seminar that is going over things I already know. At least I get Marriott points.

- Iverson dominating. Team doing a great job on defense and in transition. This one is just waiting for the Gophers to run away with it. And Damian Johnson is amazing at everything except shooting threes.

- Busch = 2 catches, 2 shots (ok, that one was a layup and he was open, but still, keep watching, he won't pass)

- Yet another Ralph Sampson reference, that would make #4. He looks evil in some way.

- I missed it but Busch is on the line so I'm going to assume that's three catches, three shots.

- Ok, seriously, is Bostick nothing more than a less accurate Voshon Lenard? Is this what we have? Why was I not informed? He does nothing more than shoot threes. Does anybody have his game logs at his JuCo? What's happening?

- Nevermind, alley-layup. God dammit.

- Halftime, Gophers lead 32-29. They seem to be the better team, but can't seem to pull away. They should put this away in the second half. Needs more Sampson. The good, emotionless one, not the one who resembles Satan on crack.

- Turning over Virginia left and right to start the half, and are getting to the rim. There's no way they shouldn't end up winning this one by 10.

- Busch lets a pass go right through his hands to Virginia, who now cuts the lead to 4 with 10 minutes left. Did I mention that Busch isn't very good? And right now he and Shamala are in at the same time. Are you aware of how athletic Virginia is? How many guys are we trying to hide on defense right now? Why don't they just go ahead and put Hoffarber in too, just to see how poorly this team can actually play defense?

- Wow can they score quick this year, as the lead is quickly back up to 9 thanks to a couple quick Cav turnovers once Nolen came back in. He is so important to this team. I will also go ahead and admit that Hoffarber is much better than I thought he was going to be. Just an outstanding shooter. Really hard to believe those were both Monson recruits. And another Nolen steal for the dunk. Jesus put them away already.

- Gophers starting to get very sloppy with five minutes to go, and Virginia is back within six. Also just learned Farrakhan is indeed related the THE Farrakhan. And my boy Devoe just took it to the rack with an excellent move for a big bucket.

- Gophers finish up with a 10 point victory, good enough to cover the spread thanks to a Landesberg missed three at the end. Good win. And I'd just like to say that Colton Iverson looks really, really, really, really, really, really good. And I was worried about him before the season started. And one final mention of Ralph's dad, just to end the night on a predictable note.


the todd said...

Once again, I disappoint. I had to bail for confidential reasons. Mainly because I'm lame.

For the record, one time back in the late 90's, I was shooting free throws with Optimator's in his driveway and demanded we not stop until I hit 10 in a row. 2 hours later, it happened. You can confirm with Optimator.

On top of that, I do have a 14 inch vertical and have been described as fearless in the paint.

Lastly, what are your thoughts on me gaining another 70-90 pounds and getting on The Biggest Loser? I'd win by a landslide. The only downside is that I'd need to have about 4 different wardrobes, up from my 2, to accomodate my various obesity body types.

Good night.

WWWWWW said...

lamest lamer ever.

And please don't tell me you're watching the biggest loser instead of the gophers.

Momma W said...

Don't lie, you know you love Biggest Loser!

WWWWWW said...

Do not, you just make me watch it every week.

Too much crying.

Anonymous said...


its Mustapha


Don't get your shot blocked.

Dawg said...

They said on the broadcast last night that Farrakhan was Louis's grandkid.

WWWW + Whorelando + Fridge full of beer = Good Material.

I think you should just move in to that hotel Howard Hughes style. Your family may suffer but your blog would take off.

snacks said...

Unfortunately, your seat went empty last night. Optimator came to the game, but apparently The Todd spent his entire bank account on black friday and couldn't afford to go to the game, despite the fact that the ticket was free. I know, I don't get it either.

Also, the chick at halftime who rode around on a really tall unicycle flipping bowls on her head with her feet was sweet.

And I agree with Dawg. (I've been saying that way too much recently)

Snake said...

Unicycle Lady is the greatest halftime show ever. WWWWWW, save us all. Your little gym rats from Alexandria suck compared to the unicycle/plate lady. Her music selection makes the performance!

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