Saturday, December 20, 2008

Hey Nerds

I've had like eleventeen vodka & cranberries (with lime, thanks Bogart) and I'm feeling a bit saucy. Also the baby is asleep and Mrs. W is at some stupid party I didn't get to go to because we didn't have a baby sitter, so instead I've been getting ripped and watching sports. That's not too bad I guess.

- Watching the Ravens beat the Cowboys in a very big win for them. I think. I saw some standings earlier that implied this was a big game for both teams. I'm not going to look it up because I don't feel like it, but I'm pretty sure this is a big win. I'm also pretty sure T.O. is a closet homosexual. Come on, like you'd be surprised.

- Did you know The Todd was in Oakdale this afternoon, and I live across the street from Oakdale, and he didn't bother to call me to hang out? And he always says stuff like "we should hang out?" What a jerk-hole. No wonder he can't get with the ladies.

- So the Gophers, after that massively awesome win against L'Ville today, are one of only a few undefeated teams left in NCAA basketball, which is great. You know who else is undefeated? Pitt. Again. Like every god damned year. They do this crap every year, where they play nobody and get ranked highly by beating nobody. Oh goodie, you beat Texas Tech. So did freaking Lamar. Christ, they even have a recruiting questionnaire for prospective players like a community college. Most overrated program of all time. Have they even ever had a good pro other than Larry Fitzgerald? Even their "best" college players were overrated. Brandin Knight? Couldn't shoot. Made Jacque Vaughn look like Pete Maravich. Aaron Gray? Jeff Hagen with a good supporting cast. Charles Smith? Once missed three layups in a ten second span. Their only good player in history is Jerome Lane, who was apparently absolutely fantastic (2 time all-american first team, once second, once third team) but who I remember more for this:


- Jason Witten with a TD, which greatly helps my fantasy keeper team, in the championship and playing $nake who used to post his hockey thoughts here. I almost sent him a text with some kind of trash talkiness, but since I got knocked out of the playoffs with the world's greatest team by three-touchdown Monday night games by Joe Horn and Drew Bennett, and he has Greg Jennings, I think I'll just keep my mouth shut.

- So Dallas kicks it deep, down two with 1:36 remaining. I don't get it. Even with three time outs, it's so risky. One first down and the game is over. And instead LeRon McClain goes 82 yards for a TD, completely blowing my McClain under 68 yards bet which was actually looking ok up until this point. Gay.

- I just witnessed the Pac 10 all-time receptions record broken here at the Mienike Poulan Weedeater PapaJohns.com bowl by someone named Mike Thomas who I think played DT for the Vikings in the 90s. Be still my heart.

- You know what was a good movie? Boyz n the Hood. That was a pretty good movie.

- I love how Brett Favre is a pro-bowler by the way. Did you know he leads the league in interceptions? It's so predictable it almost seems unbelievable, doesn't it? So let's get this shit straight, Philly Rivers leads the AFC in QB Rating, TD passes, and yards per attempt, and is third in yards, but he's not on the pro-bowl roster? Good to know that the pro bowl is as retarded as the baseball all-star game.

- I'm now watching Who wants to be a Millionaire, and some lady needed help on identifying, "In the Pythagorean Theorem, A squared plus B squared equals what?" I think that's my cue to stop typing.