The Best Rule 5 Picks of All Time

I've been pretty impressed with Ryan Pressly this year.  He has a sub 3.00 ERA in more than 40 innings pitched in middle relief this year.  As you may recall, he was a Rule 5 draft pick by the Twins last year and per league rules must be on the major league roster all year.  This rule was created as an opportunity for minor leaguers that are not on the 40 man roster and have been with the team for either 5 (18 year olds) or 4 (19 and up) years.  Basically this rule gives some players an opportunity to play when they might otherwise continue toiling away in the minors.  By the way, the Rule 4 draft is just the regular June amateur draft.  The most often discussed Rule 5 star that you may know is Johan Santana.  Unless you stumbled upon this blog searching for a Pirahnaconda review. However, there are many other notable Rule 5 selections.

Here's a countdown of my top 20 rule 5 picks of all time:

20.  Alexi Ogando, 8.3 WAR:  2011 All-Star has a 3.09 career ERA bouncing between starting and the bullpen for the Rangers.  The Rangers took him from the A's in the 2005 Rule 5 Draft. 

19. Scott Podsednik, 6.9 WAR:  Podsednik was a .281 career hitter and stolen base monster.  He stole 309 bases over his 11 year career, stealing more than 40 on four separate occasions and once stealing 70 for the Brewers.  He was an All-Star in 2005, his first season with the White Sox.  He was a Rule 5er only in name as he was signed and released a billion times in his career.  The dude still made almost $10MM and is (was?) married to Lisa Dergan, so don't feel bad.

18.  Everth Cabrera, 5.8 WAR:  Drafted in 2004 by the Rockies and then selected in 2008 by the Padres via Rule 5.  Everth is just 26 and is really coming into his own as the starting shortstop for the Padres.  He's an elite base stealer, with 75 steals over the last year and a half.  He was recently named to his first All-Star team in 2013 by hitting 291/371/397 with 31 steals in the first half.

"Ok Shane, give me sexy"

17.  Shane Mack, 21.6 WAR: The only player on this list that wasn't an all-star.  Mack was the 11th overall pick in 1984 and a member of that year's silver medal Olympic squad.  In 1990 he was selected by the Twins and went on to hit .326 over 125 games that year.  Mack was a career .299 hitter and great outfielder; his best years were his 5 with the Twins where he hit 309/375/479.  His best single season was 1992 where he hit 315/394/467 with 16 homers, 75 RBI, 101 runs and 26 steals.  He led the league in HBP (15) and was 4th in hits with 189.

16.  Joakim Soria, 12.7 WAR:  Soria only has 2 innings pitched so far this year after coming off of Tommy John surgery, but in his five prior years he amassed 160 saves for the Royals.  Like Mack, Soria was selected from the Padres' system in 2006.  The Mexicutioner has a career 2.38 ERA and 1.037 WHIP and is a two time All-Star. 

Who is the crappiest pitcher to win a game in 4 decades?

15.  Mike Morgan, 28.9 WAR:  Morgan played baseball from age 18 to age 42 starting in 1978.  He played for 12 different teams and while he was often effective; he never stayed with one team for more than four years in a row.  He was 141-186 over his career with a 4.23 ERA and a 1.40 WHIP.  Morgan was selected 4th overall in 1978 by the A's in the June draft and immediately made his first appearance on June 11th at age 18.  In 1980 he was traded to the Yankees and in 1982 he was traded to the Blue Jays along with Dave Collins and Fred McGriff for Tom Dodd and Dale Murray.  Oops, Yankees.  In December of 1984 he was removed from the 40 man roster and the Mariners selected him in the Rule 5 draft.  Morgan threw 200+ inning 6 different times and was an All-Star in 1991 when he went 14-10 with a 2.78 ERA for the Dodgers.  His best season may have been 1992 when he went 16-8 with a 2.55 ERA for the Cubs.

14.  Dave Hollins, 17.7 WAR:  Yet another player that was taken from the Padres via Rule 5, Hollins played his first 6 seasons in the majors with the Phillies.  Hollins was oft-injured and only played over 100 games 6 times in his career, which ended at age 36 due to SPIDER BITES!  Apparently the bites caused complications with his diabetes (die-a-BEE-tus).   The switch hitter was a part of the 1993 Phillies softball team that lost to the Blue Jays in the World Series.  Hollins was a career 260/358/420 hitter, but his best season was in 1992 when he hit 270/369/469 with 27 homers, 93 RBI and 104 runs.

13.  Kelly Gruber, 16.5 WAR: Drafted 10th overall in 1980 by the Indians and subsequently selected by the Blue Jays in 1983.  Gruber played in parts of 10 seasons; 9 of which with the Jays.  He was a two time All-Star and was considered a good defensive third baseman.  His best year as a pro was 1990 where he hit 274/330/512 with 31 homers and 118 RBI.  He was fourth in MVP voting that season and also won the Gold Glove and Silver Slugger awards.

Look at those pecs!

12.  Jody Davis, 15.8 WAR: Selected by the Cubs in the 1980 Rule 5 draft, Davis was the Cubbies' signal caller for parts of 9 straight seasons.  He was around during the WGN hey-day and was kind of a masher -- or was the wind blowing out?  Davis hit 17+ homers in 5 straight seasons, clearing 20 twice.  He was a two time All-Star and received one gold glove award.  He was in even in the MVP voting twice, including a 10th place finish in 1984 when the Cubs won the eastern division title.  1983 was probably his best year; he hit 271/315/480 with 24 homers and 84 RBI.  Although he did have a whopping 21 passed balls that year.  WTF, Jody?  He was 8th in extra base hits that year and caught 150 games; and probably a boatload of them were under the Chicago sun.

11.  R.A. Dickey, 14.4 WAR:  This was the hardest guy to place on the list as he's really only had 2 or 3 good seasons, but one of them was fantastic and he earned the Cy Young for it; becoming the first knuckleballer to win the award.  In 2012 he went 20-6 with a 2.73 ERA, 1.053 WHIP and 230 strikeouts.  After his fantastic 2012, he has since been traded to the Blue Jays where he's 8-9 with a 4.77 ERA.  Dickey flopped as a conventional pitcher over several season with the Rangers and was actually selected via Rule 5 by the Mariners after signing a minor league deal with the Twins in November.  Dickey is kind of an interesting character.  His at-bat walk-up music is the theme from the Game of Thrones.  In 2011 he climbed Mount Kilimanjaro and raised $100,000 to fight human trafficking in India.  He released an autobiography in 2012 and has a deal for more books on the horizon.

5'9", 6'2" with the tall hat.

10.  Bip Roberts, WAR 20.5:  Leon Joseph Roberts was a Pirates 1st round selection in 1982, but was later drafted in the 1985 Rule 5 draft by the Padres.  Finally, the Padres are on the other end of this thing!  Bip played for 12 seasons in the majors, hitting 294/358/380.  He hit over .300 (100 game min) 5 times.  His best season was 1992 when he hit 323/393/432 with 44 steals.  He was an All-Star that year and was also 8th in MVP voting.  Bip currently is the head coach of the Skyline High School baseball team and is a co-host on the Giants pre-game shows.


9.  Shane Victorino, 26.9 WAR:  The Flyin' Hawaiian was a long time Phillie and is now a member of the Red Sox.  Originally drafted by the Dodgers, he was actually selected two separate times in the Rule 5 draft.  He was taken in 2002 by the Padres, but was returned in May to the Dodgers, but then he was selected by the Phillies in 2004.  From 2006 to 2012 he was a part of the Phillies' outfield.  He is a career 276/340/428 hitter and has 210 career steals and 93 career homers.  He has three gold gloves, two All-Star appearances and has led the league in triples twice.   

Just incredible.

8.  Willie Hernandez 16.6 WAR: Three time All-Star and 1984 Cy Young award winner.  He was drafted in 1973 and taken by the Cubs in the 1976 Rule 5 Draft.  He played 13 years and had 744 appearances, compiling a 3.38 career ERA and 1.25 WHIP.  He had the fro, the stache, the glasses...awesome.

7.  Darrell Evans, 58.5 WAR:  This one feels kind of like cheating because it was the 1968 Rule 5 draft which I don't think is much like today's version, so I'll just have Darrell here at #7.  414 career homeruns, including eclipsing 40 twice.  He and Reggie Jackson are the only players with 100+ homers for 3 different teams.  At age 38 he was the oldest player ever to lead the league in homers with 40. 
 
6.  Dan Uggla, 20.5 WAR:  Last season was the first year that Uggla didn't hit 20 homers as a pro.  Sure, he's a stone hands at 2B and strikes out like he gets a dollar for each one, but he is one of the most prolific home run hitters among second baseman.  He's a three time All-Star, and he's led the league in errors at 2B three times.  He also lifts. 

Best. Contract. Ever.

5.  Bobby Bonilla, 30.1 WAR: Bobby-Bo was a 6 time All-Star and a part of the Pittsburgh Pirates teams with Barry Bonds that were so successful, but never won a title.  Although he did win a ring in 1997 with the Marlins.  Bonilla is still getting paid by the Mets in one of the weirdest contracts ever.  Bonilla was actually originally drafted by the Pirates, but then the White Sox took him in the 1985 Rule 5 Draft.  Pittsburgh ended up trading Jose DeLeon to the White Sox to get Bonilla back.  For four straight seasons Bonilla was in MVP voting, finishing second to Bonds in 1990 and third in 1991 (Pendleton, Bonds).  He hit 20+ homers 7 times, and was a career 279/358/472 hitter.  

4.  George Bell, 20.1 WAR:  Nabbed by the Jays from the Phillies in 1980.  Bell was a 3 time All-Star and won the 1987 MVP award by hitting 47 homers and driving in 134 runs..  He gets a massive WAR downgrade because of his defense (-9.8), which kind of sucks.  Bell was a career 278/316/469 hitter and walloped 265 home runs.  His career went in the toilet fast as he was out of the league at age 33 -- makes you wonder if the Dominican born Bell was really 21 when he got his start. 

3.  Jose Bautista  22 WAR:  Let's face it, nobody wanted Joey Bats early in his career.  He was drafted by the Pirates in 2000, then taken by the Orioles in the 2003 Rule 5 draft.  Then he was waived in 2004 by the O's and the Rays picked him up.  The Royals purchased him after that, then traded him to the Mets for something called Justin Huber.  Then in 2004 the Mets traded him and Ty Wigginton to the Pirates for Kris Benson and Jeff Keppinger.  In 2008 the Pirates traded him to the Blue Jays for a player to be named later.  That player, Robinzon Diaz is now a 29 year old minor leaguer for the Brewers.

Since joining the Blue Jays, Bautista has been an All-Star each of the past 4 seasons (including this year).  He led the league in homers in 2010 and 2011, hitting a combined 97 homers over that span.  After dealing with a wrist sheath injury in 2012, he's back for more in 2013 with 20 homers and counting nearing the All-Star break.

Who wants body shots?

2.  Josh Hamilton  24.8 WAR: The 1999 #1 overall pick of the Rays was destined for stardom until he fell in love with crack rocks.  In 2006, the Cubs took Hamilton for the Cincinnati Reds in exchange for cash (not crack).  In 2007 Hamilton was every bit the superstar that many expected, hitting 292/368/554 in half a season.  The Reds promptly flipped him to the Rangers for Edinson Volquez.  Volquez had a great first year for the Reds, but ended up winning just 30 games over parts of 4 years for them.

Hamilton really took off for the Rangers with All-Star appearance in all five of his years in Arlington.  He led them to the World Series in 2010 and 2011.  He also was MVP in 2010 with a 359/411/633 line and 32 homers and 100 RBI.  In 2012, his last year as a Ranger, he hit 285/354/477 with 43 homers and 128 RBI.

1.  Johan Santana, 50.7 WAR:  Johan tops the list...for now.  I think Bautista and maybe Hamilton could potentially get the top spot as their careers progress as it seems Johan has nothing left in the tank.  In 1999, the Marlins took Santana from the Astros in the Rule 5 draft and traded him for Jared Camp to the Twins.  Johan didn't do well in his first season with the Twins, posting a 1.82 WHIP and 6.49 ERA in 86 innings.  In fact, it wasn't until 2002 that he started coming into his own.  In '02 and '03 he split time between the bullpen and the rotation and had 306 Ks in 266 innings with good peripherals.  By the end of 2003 he was already on his way to being the best starter in baseball and was actually 7th in Cy Young voting for going 12-3 over 158 innings.  Over the next 4 years Santana collected two Cy Young Awards and went 70-32.  As a Twin, Johan was 93-44 with a 3.22 ERA and 1.04 WHIP.  He had one great year with the Mets and earned his 4th All-Star appearance.  Ever since then he's been like a '70 Gremlin.


There are other players from a prior versions of the Rule 5 or the first year player draft that occurred in the winter such as: Paul Blair, Rudy May and Reggie Smith that would make this list.  The rule seems to have evolved some though and players weren't nearly as well protected as they are in recent history.  Even Hall of Famer Roberto Clemente was selected in a version of this Winter draft in 1954.

Monday Musings

-  Biggest news of the day is the Big 10/ACC match-ups have been released, and your Gophers will be traveling to Tallahassee to play the Seminoles of FSU.  This should be one hell of a good test to see how good the Gophers are next season, because FSU loses only two of their top 6 players from last year's NCAA team, and they always play well at home (where they always seem to beat Duke or UNC every year).  Add in a very good recruiting class and their killer defense and this is one of the better teams the Gophers will face in non-conference play in the Tubby Smith-era.  If the Gophers can handle FSU's defense, they'll be able to handle any Big 10 team's defense.  I'm very much looking forward to this one.  With the Gophers in the Battle 4 Atlantis with team's like Duke, Missouri, Memphis, and Louisville they have all the potential in the world to build a really nice resume before we get to conference play.  Or crash and burn and make sure we all now we are once again in for another thrilling year of mediocrity.  I know which one I'm hoping for - although the mediocrity thing does have a comforting ring of familiarity to it.

The other matchups:

North Carolina @ Indiana - has the ring of a marquee matchup to it, but with Indiana installed as the favorite to win the National Championship by Vegas (it's true) and UNC basically gutted from last year this is going to be a 10+ point spread.

NC State @ Michigan - One of the three top matchups (along with Gophers/FSU and Duke/Ohio State), and a really good test for an NC State team that is suddenly finding itself the ACC favorite (even more so if Amile Jefferson picks them today/tomorrow).

Maryland @ Northwestern - The Terps lost most of their talent from an already poor team, while Northwestern's window has probably closed on that elusive first NCAA bid.  Even so, the Wildcats should walk here.

Iowa @ Virginia Tech - Va Tech is going to be super terrible this year, but this is actually a pretty perfect match-up for an Iowa team trying to reach up and grab mediocrity.  This game will go along way towards telling us if they're there yet or still a year away.

Nebraska @ Wake Forest - yeah nobody cares

Ohio State @ Duke - This will be billed as the top matchup and not without reason.  Having the game at Cameron evens the odds a bit, because OSU would roll if this was played in Columbus - and might anyway

Virginia @ Wisconsin - You ready to hear about what a great match-up this is and then be bored to sleep within the first five minutes?  This one might not break 70 total points.

Michigan State @ Miami - Really interesting match-up here.  The Spartans are probably better talent-wise but will still be working on playing without Draymond Green, while Miami has a nice core group of Durand Scott, Reggie Johnson, Kenny Kadji, and Shane Larkin back from last year's team that almost made the NCAA Tournament.  I think at home the Canes might sneak this one out.

Purdue @ Clemson - I have no idea what to make of Purdue this year since the whole team from two years ago is gone.  Clemson's losing it's entire starting back court who just happened to be their top two scorers.  Call this a toss up.

Georgia Tech @ Illinois - The Illini were horrid last year and now bring in a new coach.  Getting Georgia Tech at home is the kind of major opponent they need - shitty, but still a major conference team.

Boston College @ Penn State - oh my god, gross.

If I had to pick it right now, I'd go Florida State, Indiana, Michigan, Iowa, Wake, Ohio State, Wisconsin, Miami, Purdue, Illinois, and BC.  That's 7-4, Big 10.  

 -  One other college hooops note, I was going to do a little writing on Julius Mays, the guard who graduated from Wright State but still has a year of eligibility so was looking to do that thing where you pick a school you want to go to and then find a grad program they have that your current school doesn't offer so you can just transfer and play right away who was considering both Illinois and Purdue.  He would be a pretty important piece considering the lack of guards the Illini and Boilers are both currently sporting due to his 14 points per game and also because Julius Mays is a pretty sweet basketball name.  Kentucky, however, was also interested in Mr. Mays and because Kentucky is awesome and the Big 10 sucks, Mays will be a Wildcat next year so I guess there's not much more to say about that, is there?  These things will happen when you can't motivate yourself to post more than once a week because the Twins have punched you in the nuts.

-  Speaking of the Twins, yuck.  The worst part of this is that when your team totally sucks you should at least be able to look forward to watching the future start playing, but who on this team is even the future?  Scott Diamond, suddenly, and Brian Dozier?  Maybe?  There's suddenly no third basemen at all.  I mean there's nothing now that Valencia is apparently a total flop and Luke Hughes was traded or released or whatever.  We're looking at a solid 3 years or so of crappy old free agents before Miguel Sano is ready, assuming he sticks at third and doesn't get moved to the outfield.  Will it be Kevin Kouzmanoff next year?  Or Mark Teahen?  Maybe Ty Wigginton (that's who I'd put my money on)?  You can be sure that no matter what, he's going to be old and suck.  But at least Sano is keeping things interesting while we wait.  Big thanks for Snacks for emailing me this:

Sano stood in the batter’s box awhile to watch his homer against relief pitcher Carmine Giardiana. He trotted the bases, but virtually stopped a few feet before touching the plate, taking off his batting helmet as Kernels catcher Abel Baker barked at him.
Sano glared at the Kernels dugout after finally touching the plate, with Kernels players continuing to give him significant grief. He took a step toward Baker, and the dugouts began to empty, with umpires Fernando Rodriguez and Paul Clemons, as well as both teams’ coaching staffs, doing a good job of squelching what could have been an ugly scene.

Oh hell yes.  So anyway I don't really know what to make out of Scott Diamond or Brian Dozier, but at least so far they don't make me want to put myself into a coma until the end of baseball season so they got that going for them.  Considering Dozier is hitting just .250 and doesn't walk (with so-so pop) and Diamond has looked good in his two starts but is doing it with a ridiculously low BABIP I'm pretty much clearly grasping at straws, but I think straws is all we got.  Like a homeless clown at a chocolate milk collection.

-  I didn't really like Bryce Harper from day one since he sounded like kind of a douche, but I've done a 180 on him because apparently the mainstream media (more like Lame stream, amiright?) is way too all over hoping this kid fails and makes a fool of himself.  Over the weekend I saw a few different headlines and they were all like "Harper injures self in clubhouse tantrum" or "Harper may miss time after embarrassing spaz out" or something of that variety.  So I read them because, at that time, I wasn't a fan and was hoping it would be really bad (with apologies to Bryce's dad, who was maybe the second best Twins' catcher ever), but holy shit are people stupid.  After going 0-5 with 3 strikeouts he hit the wall with his bat, which ricocheted and hit him in the head.  First of all, who hasn't done something similar like hitting the wall with your bat?  Secondly, when do you think the last time this kid went 0-5 with 3 ks was?  I'm going to guess never, which will probably torque you off a bit, and hitting something with a bat has got to be nearly as common place as getting crabs from a "fan" when you're a major leaguer (or minors even, from what I hear Brendan Donnelly). 

Between this retarded witch hunt and Harper's attitude after getting intentionally beaned by Cole Hamels - all he did was trot to first with no looks, no attitude, no nothing - I'm starting to become a fan.  Then you add him to the best pitcher in world history in Stephen Strasburg, one of my personal faves in Gio Gonzalez, the underrated Jordan Zimmerman, a bunch of young players who some of at least have to workout, and yet another future star in minor leaguer Anthony Rendon and I'm suddenly a Nationals fan.  May even have to get a hat.  But they also have Jayson Werth, so I really can't be that much of a fan.  F that guy.

-  Apparently Josh Hamilton is over how he killed that guy because in case the Twins have made you turn off baseball for good this year he's destroying everything that gets thrown near him.  I find it semi-fascinating because I am fascinated easily but also because he's such a unique player.  Without getting bogged down in the nitty gritty stat world, he's aggressive as hell and swings at anything.  He swings at the highest percentage of pitches of anyone in the majors, and the rest of the guys on the list are either shitty hackers (Clint Barmes, Delmon Young), strikeout machines without the power (Alfonso Soriano, Chris Davis), or solid, but not power, hitters (Starlin Castro, Brandon Phillips).  Adrian Beltre and Miguel Cabrera are #11 and #14 on the list and are near his production levels, but they do it because they make contact a lot with all those swings (85% and 83%) while Hamilton is at just 67%.  In fact, that 67% is the fourth worst in the majors behind human fan machines Yeonis Cespedes, Adam Dunn, and Carlos Gonzalez.  So he swings at way too many pitches and misses way too many of them, yet he's leading the majors in basically everything.

So how is he doing this?  Obviously by crushing the ball when he does make contact, but it's not by hitting line drives where he's around league average, it's that when he gets the ball in the air it's flying over the fence.  Nearly half of the flyballs he's hit this year have been home runs, tops in the league (Matt Kemp is the only other player even close to Hamilton), more than double his usual percentage, and a number nobody has approached like, ever (or since 2002 when this data became available).  He's also hitting .407 on balls in play, but the numbers say that should be around .330 even on this hot streak.  So I got some news for ya - Hamilton is going to go down in a big way, whether it's simple regression, injury, gets a hankerin' to chase the dragon again, or finally gets charged for murdering that guy with a baseball.  If you have him in fantasy, trade him.  Or just watch him burn.

Weekend Review - 9/8/2009

If you're just here to read about the shitty Gopher football team, feel free to jump right on down to the "WHO SUCKED" section.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  BYU.   What an excellent win for the Cougars, upsetting the #3 team in the country Oklahoma Sooners 14-13 Saturday.  A lot of morons will point out that returning Heisman Trophy winner Sam "Sixkiller" Bradford was knocked out right before halftime with an injury, and will point to that as the reason why BYU was able to win this game.  Sure, that didn't hurt, but when Bradford went down the score was just 10-7 in favor of the Sooners.  Make no mistake, BYU is a very good team and this is a very impressive win.  The fighting Mormons will still take on Florida State in their non-conference and have Utah and TCU has conference foes, which gives them three more top 20 opponents this season.  If they can run the table after this win, things will be very interesting come year end.  And by interesting I mean they will get screwed out of the BCS championship and there will be a lot of bitching but in the end nothing will change because "money makes the world go round, and ain't nothin' free in the world in life, no matter who you are in life everybody got their price."

Also I just read that Bradford reads the David vs. Goliath story from the Bible before every game.  Dude.  You're favored every time.  That makes no damn sense.  Think on that whilst you peruse this:

2.  Oklahoma State football.  In what was a very good week for the Big 12 (10-2 overall), the Cowboys' week one victory over #13 Georgia is certainly the most impressive.  Dez Bryant (aka the next Michael Crabtree) caught 2 TD passes from gayly named QB Zac Robinson and OSU picked up a big win, 24-10.  You know how good Bryant will be?  I'm going to go ahead and tag this post with his name, just because I know I will be referencing him again in the future.  Yeah.  I did that.

3.   Ralph Bolden.  Yeah, I don't know who he is either, but when a Big Ten running back, in this case a Boiler, goes off for 234 rushing yards and two scores, I figure I should pay some attention.  Since I didn't watch the game, I went to check on what my boys over at Boiled Sports had to say, but I got distracted because Purdue has a fullback with the name "Jared Crank."  Is that the coolest thing you've ever heard or what?  I don't even remember what else I was going to say.  How fun would it be to introduce yourself to people if that was you name?  And you know he hits the emphasis on the Crank, just to make the old white establishment a little uncomfortable.

4.  Wade Davis.  Do the Rays just have an unending stream of completely ridiculous awesome prospects or what?  Davis was the team's #2 prospect going into the season (behind David Price) and made his first start yesterday.  How'd he do?  Seven innings, three hits, a walk, one run, and nine strikeouts.  Seriously, they just have an unending stream of top prospects who actually pan out, so much so that they can go ahead and trade someone like Scott Kazmir.  Meanwhile I'm stuck watching the Twins and the constant "upside = 4th starter" boners they trot out.  Anthony Swarzak in the Twins' system is like Davis for the Rays right now.  Remember when the Twins had a deep farm system?  How do you screw that all up without actually bringing in any kind of worthwhile veteran player?  I'm super crabby right now.

5.  Jared Crank.  Just so awesome.  And he's only a sophomore.  The next Mike Alstott?  Sure, why not.  Abso-freakin-lutely.  Career stat tracker:  1 catch, 4 yds.  0 rushing attempts.  Stay tuned for greatness.

WHO SUCKED

1.  Gopher football.  I know they won, and maybe sucked is a bit rough since they managed to come back and win in overtime, but this was an ugly, horrible, mistake-filled, boring, lame, crappy game - but yes they did win.  Weber was essentially worthless all game, up until the last drive, and our new "weapon" MarQueis Gray got what, two snaps?  Ugly game, luckily the 'Cuse was so awful (although I found myself impressed a bit by Paulus, I expected much worse) that it didn't matter in the end, when Weber finally got his shit together.  Expectations have been tempered, with the defense looking like the same porous unit we saw last year, but, if you want to be an optimist, a win is a win, and a win on the road against a BCS conference team is a good win.  I, on the other hand, prefer to look at this as a reminder that Gopher football sucks, and they'll be lucky to make a bowl game.

I also wanted to quickly say, and this is very difficult for me, that I was wrong about Eric Decker.  I've always thought he was more a product of Weber having radar lock on him, but it turns out he's actually a very, very good receiver.  I don't know what it was about this particular game that won me over (probably that catch in double coverage he had no business coming down with), but I have been won and now think he would be a good second round pick for somebody.

That hurt. 

2.  Big Ten football.  The whole, "The Big Ten Conference sucks" talk is going to start even earlier this season and likely get even more annoying than usual thanks to a lackluster first weekend amongst the teams.  Not only did the Gophers get taken to OT by the Orange, but Ohio State, Iowa, Indiana, Illinois, and Wisconsin were all disappointments as well.  Nobody moreso than the Illini, who welcomed their hated rival Missouri into Champaign and ended up getting their tails kicked, 37-9 as Juice Williams continues to do his best Vince Young impression (the pro version).  Iowa (a 30 point favorite) had to block two Northern Iowa field goals in the last few seconds thanks to a rule that I still don't understand to avoid losing to the I-AA school (or whatever it's called now).  Wisconsin (a 19 point favorite) only beat Northern Illinois by 8 and Indiana, a 30 point favorite over Eastern Kentucky, prevailed by just six after not scoring the entire second half.  Even Ohio State, the jewel of the conference and a 21 point favorite, needed an interception on a 2-pt conversion attempt to beat Navy.  If OSU gets their doors blown off this week by USC (and if Michigan loses to Notre Dame) expect the Big Ten bashing to reach epic proportions.

3.  The Minnesota Twins.  The stupid Twins lost 2 of 3 this weekend to the piece of crap Indians, while the Tigers swept the Rays to extend their lead in the central to an almost certainly insurmountable seven game lead.  The suddenly offensively challenged Twins scored all of seven runs in the three games, which is understandable considering they faced Cy Young contenders Jeremy Sowers, Justin Masterson, and David Huff.  Special shout out to Justin Morneau, who went 0-11 in the series, running his hitless streak to 19 straight at-bats.  Remember those MVP dreams?  Or worrying about Morneau stealing MVP votes from Mauer?  Yeah.  I think we're good.

4.  Josh Hamilton.  Remember last year how everybody was so madly in love with Hamilton because he had the talent to make millions playing a kids' game but pissed it away crack and then got clean because his grandma yelled at him and then made it back to the pros and hit 11 billion home runs in the home run derby but lost to Justin Morneau but nobody remembers that and then this year he has sucked and fell off the wagon that one time with the booze?  Remember all that?  Well Hamilton still stucks this year, but now he is battling a bad back and even had to get an epidural this weekend, as is looking at getting another shot tomorrow.  You know what they say; Epidurals are a gateway drug.  I fully expect a backslide, leading to some time in a Tijuana prison for drug trafficking.  I'm just stating the obvious.  Also I want to use this space to tell you that Ben Stiller is really not that funny.  Stop it.

5.  Pittsburgh Pirates.  Seventeen straight losing seasons.  Seventeen.  They actually held it off yesterday with a walk-off Garrett Jones hit (GARRETT JONES!!!) to beat the Cards, but they aren't going to run the table, and as such are going to hit the record for consecutive losing seasons by a major american sport team.  I do like what the Pirates are doing finally, blowing up the whole deal and essentially starting over.  They have shipped off almost any "veteran" with talent, and with the exception of the McLouth trade they all make a ton of sense, and they are stockpiling arms and prospects and have a little hope for the first time in a long time.  That, of course, doesn't change the fact that they haven't had a winning season since 1992.  Zane freaking Smith was on that team.  As were Gary Redus, Cecil Espy. Lloyd Mcclendon, Steve Buechele, Mike LaValliere, tom Prince, and Bob Walk.  If you're not getting how long ago that was just yet, how about these things which happened in 1992:

• The Redskins won the Super Bowl over the Bills at the Metrodome
• Mike Tyson was convicted of rape (yeah, right)
• The English FA Premier League was formed
• Jeff Dahmer was framed and sentenced to life in prison
• John Gotti was framed and sentenced to life in prison
• Microsoft releases Windows 3.1
• Johnny Carson retires from The Tonight Show
• Brett Favre made his first start for the Pack

Uh.  Yeah.


The last thing I want to mention is that if you aren't watching Greek on ABC Family, you need to start.  It's really an excellent show, and if you need more convincing here are four very good reasons:

This Must Stop

I'm sitting here watching the Red Sox/Rangers on ESPN because I refuse to watch Men's Synchronized Diving (not when the Chinese team dominates so handily, I mean really) and Josh Hamilton comes up and of course, the announcers launch in once again to the Legend of Josh Hamilton. Then the whole Home Run Derby thing comes up, and one of the guys says, "Do you think anybody will even remember that he didn't win five years from now?" And the other guy, who I wish I knew who he was says, "You know, I think by losing he really won."

STOP.

Also I just realized my zipper is down.

You know what sucks?

Here's what sucks, when you are watching the Twins game and you see that the starter for them is Livan Hernandez. That sucks.

- Already down 2-1 in the third. Josh Hamilton is up. I don't know if you know this, but he used to hooked on crack. Then his grandma grabbed a couple of knives and pistols and broke into the male whorehouse where he was working coked out of his gourd and whooped some ass Steven Seagal in Under Siege style, then carried him out slung over her shoulder. She then locked him in a freezer for two years, where he lived off of the rats and spiders he could catch, honing his body into a finely tuned hitting machine. Or something. They never cover it when he plays on national tv, so I'm not really sure what happened.

- If I'm ever in charge, my first act of business will be to make those damn blue shells in Mario Kart illegal.

- Went to the Science Museum today to check out the Star Wars exhibit, and it was awesome. If you're a fan, check it out for sure. Here's me with R2:


Of course, the best part was the nerds who dressed up as characters. My favorite was this guy (in the background). The droid in front was a science museum employee, but I'm pretty sure the guy in the X-Wing Pilot suit behind him was just a patron who decided to dress up.

He's a winner.

- Another bunt hit for Casilla. He's kind of like a slightly better version of Gomez right now. He doesn't walk, and his expected BA and BABIP suggest he's been getting pretty lucky thus far, but he's clearly a much better player than Gomez right now. And, like, the Brooks Robinson of second basemen.

- Craig "Marilyn" Monroe hits one off the wall and still manages to get tossed at second. The Twins' baserunning, year after year, is stunningly atrocious. But one of the reasons they win year after year is because they're so fundamentall sound, thus sayeth the newspapers. I'm so confused.

- Buscher sucks. Well, not sucks, but he's a backup. Rumors abound about a possible trade for one of Adrian Beltre, Hank Blalock, Casey Blake, or Garrett Atkins. I highly doubt they are actually going to make a move, but without looking at contract situations I'd be happy with any of them except Blake. I mean, any of them would be an upgrade over Buscher, but unless you can get Blake for pretty much nothing I wouldn't do it. The other three would be excellent gets.

- A little Gopher info, this is a scouting report on Johnnie Lacy from College Hoops Net, :

PG Johnnie Lacy (Milwaukee, WI; Wisconsin Playground Elite; Rivals # 99)

Lacy (5-10, 160) is an explosive lead guard who in some respects reminded me of Jonny Flynn this weekend. While he’s not as athletic as Flynn, Lacy has the speed to get up and down the floor in a hurry, but under control while doing so. On occasion, however, he can over-penetrate and end up having to force this issue and the outside shot is a definite work in progress at this point in time. Still uncommitted, it looks as if Marquette has the inside track on keeping Lacy home in Milwaukee.

From what I've read, that whole Marquette inside track thing is a bunch of crap now with them having signed on Junior Cadougan, a three star PG from Houston whose name sounds like something a vedeo game would come up with. Unfortunately, I've also read that he is another one with some academic concerns. We shall see, but it's no secret the Gophers could really use a PG in the 2009 class, and Lacy is the best candidate, especially with Udofia looking more like he's going to stay in the south. He also compares himself to Chris Paul, Tony Parker, and Rajon Rondo, so he certainly doesn't lack for confidence.

- Justin Morneau really impresses me. He's not just a power guy, he's a legitimate all-around excellent hitter. He just took a low and away pitch into the gap in left center and jesus decided he didn't want Josh Hamilton to get to it so it went to the wall to clear the loaded bases, very nice. Also watching Carlos Gomez play is like watching a little kid. You know he's not that good, but he's fun to watch and you can't help but root for him.

- We rented Drillbit Taylor to watch tonight after Baby W goes to sleep (she's sleeping through the night now, knock on wood). I'm pretty sure it's going to be terrible so I'm going to drink as much as possible while we watch the Twins game.

- Home run Delmon Young. I told you guys he was going to be good now. You should listen more often.

- I get to play in a golf tournament on Monday instead of having to work, and I suck at golf. Awesome. Speaking of golf, how about Greg Norman leading the Open through three rounds? Pretty amazing stuff. The sad thing is that when he loses, people are going to talk about it as another Norman choke job instead of three incredible days. It's really amazing for a 53 year old or whatever he is.

- As far as my picks for the British, Sergio (T-15th), Allenby (T-9th), Soren Hansen (T-27th), and Bart Bryant (T-35th) are doing well as I said, while I said Mickelson and Els would disappoint and though they made the cut they aren't really in contention. I also said Furyk and Scott would disappoint, but are doing pretty well, and Geoff Ogilvy and Rod Pampling missed the cut when I expected them to do well. I guess I'm not perfect. I konw, it surprised me too.

- Since the game is now a blowout, we've decided to watch the movie now - oh joy. Interestingly, one of the writes is named Edmond Dantes, which is kind of weird since that's the name of the main character in The Count of Monte Cristo.

- I have British Open bets on Sergio Garcia to beat Anthony Kim and Robert Allenby to beat Jim Furyk tomorrow.

- So far this is shaping up as a weird, failed attempt to emulate the kids relationships from Superbad. People shouldn't bother, that movie nailed it perfectly. This like a non-alcoholic Daquiri - what's the point. At least Jimmy James is in it.

- Yeah, I like Daquiris. So what. You're telling me you don't like a nice Daquiri on a hot summer day? Whatever. You're lying.

- As if taking a cab wasn't already a bad possibilty for the Yankee Stadium thing, I just found out going from New York to New Jersey (and back) carries a pretty big surcharge, even though it's only 12 miles. Great. I didn't want to go to Yankee Stadium anyway.

- HOLY SHIT! Maurice Hargrow got arrested for stealing a car! He should have been arrested for stealing my heart when he transferred and then back.

- I'm bored now.

Hooray for All Stars

I'm holding a sleeping baby, so who knows how long this will last, but here goes:

- ok, the allstar game is mostly retarded, but the stuff with the legends is pretty cool. The ovation for Willie Mays gave me chills, and it was nice to see two of my favorites of all-time, Brooks Robinson and Rod Carew are still alive.

- One batter in and this thing is already an abortion of announcing. Soo far we've heard that Cliff Lee has meant more over his career to the Indians than Grady Sizemore and the fans definitely deserve to be allowed to vote in the All-Star starters because they managed to get Hanley Ramirez right. This should be fun.

- 1-2-3 with two Ks for Cliff Lee, probably because Mauer is catching. I don't get this whole Cliff Lee thing.

- Think when Hamilton gets up we'll get rehash #483 of "The Josh Hamilton Story?"

- Jeter with a squibby infield hit, which pretty much locks up MVP for him. And a stolen base, interrupting Buck in mid-Hamilton rehash. Get out the engraving gun or whatever the hell they use.

- I knew that was a fake clip, I knew it.

- Matt Holliday's up, and I heard today he's available for trade. Someone get Billy Smith on the horn, F Beltre,

- So I'm going to be in NJ next week for two nights, but in a different place than the usual and just 12 miles from Yankee Stadium. The Twins will be in town as well, so I went ahead and bought myself a ticket for next Tuesday evening. I just have to figure out how to get there. Do I drive myself and brave the traffic and parking, or do I take the subway, which would normally be my choice but it takes a really roundabout way where I'd be starting from and will take a minimum of an hour+ each way. Plus, my only two options to get back after 10pm are 10:30 and 12:53. Dumb. Although I have a feeling I'm going to have to watch Livan, which should make for an early exit.

- Given that Milton Bradley is a known hothead, does it make any sense that he's one of the most disciplined and patient hitters in the league? And also shocking, is that he's always been this way. He didn't settle down and then learn discipline, he's always has been. So weird.

- Snacks pointed out to me that the Twins have beaten both All-Star starters this season. Interesting fact. Wonder how often that's happened. Mauer walks. Boring.

- McCarver brings up how Mariano only throws one pitch, which simply isn't true. Sure, the last two seasons he's thrown 70-80% cutters, but in his career prior to that he was pretty much 50/50 between the cutter and regular fastball. I have no idea where this talk about one pitch came from, but it seems it has always been there. I'll go ahead and guess some idiotic journalist mentioned it, and all the other idiotic journalists went with it as gospel - and thus it became so.

- Hamilton up again and despite this opening, "Hamilton's story has been talked about a lot recently..." he goes ahead and reshashes the story for the 491st time.

- I have kind of a crush on Roy Halladay. Did you know his nickname is "Doc." Narf narf. Good movie though. And it appears my "Blue Jays will make the playoffs" call may have been incorrect. Lot of season left though.

- I am very excited for Pineapple Express

- Josh Hamilton moves from center to left. Left is closer to the bleachers. The bleachers contain New Yorkers. New York is a cesspool of crime. Doing drugs is a crime. Crack is a drug. Will our hero be able to resist the temptation? Will Jesus show up and pimp slap the crack pipe out of his mouth in time? Will Josh Hamilton be the next Len Bias (kind of)? Stay tuned.

- Holliday home run as his price goes up. Thanks for not snagging him already Smith. You fail. Again.

- If you're curious, I have no money on the game this year. Because I forgot. But I would have taken the NL at +130 (AL was -150).

- Mauer now 1-1 with a walk after an infield hit. MVP?

- Jeter gets a standing ovation before he even hits. Probably for being a queer. And with two on he taps back to the pitcher for the third out. You know who probably gets a hit there? Nick Punto. I'm just sayin'.

- Great, Lincecum brought to the hospital earlier today with flu-like symptoms. He's a big key to our fantasy team. We're now thisclose to picking up Scott Baker the Touchdown Maker.

- Justin Ducksharer just getting knocked around. That will teach guys I've barely heard of to play in all-star games. Also Jeter pulled in mid-inning so he can get a standing ovation. Jesus christ Francona, be a man. Don't pander to the idiotic Yankee fans. If anything, you should trot out to the field and drop a deuce on the NY logo, that's what a real man would do. Also, I think Jeter just asked Kevin Kennedy for some butt sex. And also I'm realizing I hate the Yankees more than the Red Sox again.

- If you wanted more Josh Hamilton talk, you're in luck. Jesus willed that he get a hit, so he did, and now there's more gushing. Not a dry seat in that announcing booth when he's on camera.

- Just interviewed Matt Holliday and he doesn't bend the brim of his hat. ABORT TRADE. REPEAT. ABORT TRADE.

- It still just stuns me that this game counts for anything other than pride.

- Nathan goes 1-2-3. It's amazing that he can shut down three all-stars without breaking a sweat, but struggles half the time he pitches to the Royals. Speaking of the Royals, who is their all-star? Soria? It has to be doesn't it? I always thought DeJesus would be better, being that he's "Of Jesus" and all.

- I've been thinking about it further, and I'm pretty sure Derek Jeters is one of them gays. Think about it: Single and can't settle down. Thin. Pretty boy. Afraid to get dirty. Can't hit. Has gay sex. Can't field. Overrated at baseball but super famous due to "charisma." Endorses Gay-tor-AID(s). It's obvious once you think about it.

- Ok seriously, who is Ryan Ludwick? Is this a joke?

- Base knock for Morneau - all Twins looking very good thus far.

- Two run shot for JD Drew, scoring Morneau and tying the game. Boston fans don't deserve Drew. And Edinson Volquez should put his hat on straight. And STAY OFF MY LAWN.

- It seems all-star catchers have NO shot at throwing out all-star players, ever. Not even sixty year old shortstops like Miguel Tejada who gets to third on Navarro's error, then scores on a sac fly because Carlos Quentin has a noodle-arm. Papelboner gives up the lead, which should make the NYC crowd very happy.

- Yep, I loves me some Evan Longoria. What I don't love is crappy exhibition games that last past 11pm. I'm old and I needs me sleep. Now that Morneau blows his chance to be a hero, I'm going to call this one a night.

Mid Season Twins Talkie

Before I get into the Twins stuff, first let me congratulate Josh Hamilton on winning last night's homerun derby. What a tremendous....what? Oh, right, Justin Morneau won. You wouldn't have known it from the media coverage. Look, I get that Hamilton put on a show for the ages in round one, and it really was incredible. If that was the reason for the Favre-like gushing I would understand. But enough already about the "Josh Hamilton Story." We know it. We get it. We're getting sick of it. Just talk about what an amazing year he is having and drop the Movie of the Week stuff (note: there WILL be a movie at some point here.) I want to hear about his run for the AL triple crown, not about how "The demons he has faced make facing the ghosts of Yankee Stadium easy", a quote actually said last night. Let's move on.

A quick look at the Twins at the season's mid-point (ok, all-star break, close enough):

The M&M Boys: I really hate this moniker for Mauer and Morneau, but it seems to have stuck and I suppose it is fitting, seeing as their last names both start with M. The boys have obviously had a strong season, both making the all-star team, and I'm not sure how much more you could ask of either of them. They rank #2 and #3 in the AL in batting average with nearly identical .323 and .322. Expected of Mauer, a nice surprise from Morneau who is hitting a lot more line drives this season. Morneau's homeruns are down a bit, but his doubles and slugging percentage are up and his walks and OBP are way up, so I see no reason to complain. Now that I've made peace with Mauer's lack of power, I can really appreciate his game, although Charley Walters claims he could hit 30 a year with a minor swing adjustment, which seems totally realistic and not made up crap at all. High average and high OBP, he'd actually be an excellent lead-off or 2 hitter, but on this team has to hit third. In any case, he's having a tremendous season, as a 140 OPS+ from the catcher position is truly exceptional.

The Young Pitchers: This, without question, is my favorite part of this team. In contention with what I'm going to assume without looking anything up is the youngest group of four pitchers in the rotation, all doing well and looking like they have extremely bright futures. Perkins is the shakiest of the group, and he gets hit pretty hard at times, but his excellent control helps mitigate a lot of the damage. Slowey is the one who I was the least sold on going into the season, but he looks extremely strong lately and leads the team in WHIP despite having the highest ERA of the four. He's still prone to meltdowns, but as with most young pitchers you take the good with the bad. Baker and Blackburn are both looking really, really good. Not just the numbers, which are outstanding, but the way they handle themselves on the mound and seem in control at all times both make me believe they will have long, successful careers with other teams once their initial contracts are up. With Liriano starting to come around, the rotation could be one of the best in baseball next year from top-to-bottom. (Is that homerish? I'm a delusional? Tell me if I am.)

The Bullpen: Nathan has been awesome and practically unhittable, but the rest of the bullpen has been pretty blah since Neshek went down. Crain is back and trying to fill that role, but has been mediocre at best. The top bullpen arms this year have been Reyes, Breslow, and Korecky in their limited work. Reyes is a specialist, so I get that, but why not use Breslow and Korecky instead of trotting Guerrier and Bass out there every game? Bass is first in relief innings in the AL and Guerrier is seventh. Guerrier has been ok, but Bass is brutally bad. His ERA is bad. His WHIP is bad. His walk rate is bad. His homerun rate is bad. His strikeout rate is bad. But he leads the AL in relief innings, and not just mop up innings where he started, he's now being used in high impact situations. This does not bode well.

Free Agent Accusations: I don't even want to look here. Out of the three hitters they signed, Craig Monroe is the best pick up and he's hitting .203/.280/.419. At least he has a little pop. Lamb and Everett's sluggin percentages of .292 and .324 beat only Glen Perkins on the team - even all the other pitchers have managed to outslug those two children. OBP is only slighly better, as Everett is still at the bottom but Lamb manages to climb just above Kevin Slowey and someone named Howie Clark.

As far as Livan, well, they got him to be an innings eater and that's exactly what he is. That would actually be pretty useful if this team was as bad as expected, but they aren't, they're contending. He needs to go away someone or other. Nobody would trade for him and his $5 million, so he just needs to be released. I'm not sure what kind of financial impact that would have, but he's not doing the team any good, so as soon as they figure out a viable fifth starter he needs to gone. Here's a prediction for you, the Twins call up Liriano right at the trade deadline and there is at least one quote rationalizing their lack of making an actual trade that goes something like this, "We get Liriano back, which is as good as making a trade."

The Garza Trade: Garza continues to look like a top prospect for the Rays, and has started to make some major strides, while Bartlett has taken a step backwards offensively. For our beloved Twins, Brendan Harris has been less of an offensive threat than advertised taking a step back in average, OBP, and slugging, but has been a decent surprise in the field. He's still more of a 2b/3b type than an actual shortstop, but hasn't been terrible.

As far as Delmon Young goes, I'm backing off on my "he sucks" opinion slightly. I heard on the radio the other day someone talking about maybe trying to trade Young while he still has some value - let's not get crazy just yet. As others have told me, he's just 22. His power loss is still something of a mystery, but he seems to be getting smarter at the plate and showing more discipline (not much, but some) and will walk more this year than last (with 21 walks now compared to 26 all of last season). I still think he has potential and I still think he's a terrible fielder, but I'm no longer totally down on him. I don't think he's going to end up being particularly special, and right now I think the Twins got the bad end of the trade, but hopefully he can develop further. And in case you're wondering, Eduardo Morlan is having a bit of a down year in AA for the Rays, but is still a top young relief prospect. Jason Pridie will never be anything more than a fifth outfielder at best.

The Santana Trade: Johan continues to be strong over in the NL, fourth in ERA, seventh in strikeouts, and ninth in WHIP. If his second half surge continues again this year, he'll be in the Cy Young discussion once again.

Meanwhile, Carlos Gomez needs to be in triple A, Deolis Guerra is struggling in high A, while Mulvey and Humber are ho-hum in triple A (actually Humber pretty much sucks). All of these guys have the tools to still develop into quality players, but as of right now, it's pretty clear who won this trade. Gomez is reallly overmatched right now.

The Call-Ups: It's pretty clear that the biggest boost this team has gotten outside of the performance of the young staff is from the call-ups. Denard Span, Alexi Casilla, and Brian Buscher are all hitting over .300 and have an OPS over .747. Even Matt Tolbert and Matt Macri performed well before getting hurt. Span and Casilla both show signs that they've figured it out and could keep playing well the rest of the season (not at the rate they are now, but still good). A big, big key to how far the Twins can go the rest of the year.

The Returnees: Cuddyer has been hurt most of the year, and when he eventually comes back the Twins are going to have some tough decisions to make with the outfield/DH position. Look again for some quote about how getting Cuddyer back is as good as making a trade, even though he hasn't look very good when he has played. Jason Kubel has made some strides, and is giving a glimpse of what he can be - which is Matt Stairs. He clearly has a place, and it's not in the outfield, but he could be a quality full-time DH. He's not the hitter he once was before all his knees fell off, but still - Matt Stairs isn't too bad. We like to call him a "professional hitter."

Overall: The season has been a huge shocker to me. I figured this was a full on rebuilding year, and that's why I didn't understand why they bothered to sign Nathan instead of trading him at this year's deadline. Now it looks like the Twins should be buyers rather than sellers, and get Adrian Beltre and another arm so they can get rid of Livan. They are in it this year due to good pitching (which should continue) and amazingly timely hitting (which shouldn't). If they want to make a run, they need to make a move or two. It's been fun, but let's hope they go for more.