Happy fourth of July everyone. And that will be the entirety of my introduction.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Mike Cuddyer. It pains me to praise Cuddy. There's so much to hate: inability to understand what a "strike zone" is, inability to realize that he's getting that down and away in the dirt slider every time he has 2 strikes, and constant media whoring to name a few, but sometimes you gotta give credit where it's due: Congrats on making your first all-star time, Cuddy Bear. There's something to be said for a guy who can and will play LF, RF, 2b, 3b, 1b, and SS, especially on a team with a bunch of prima donnas who "don't like to DH" or "refuse to play anywhere except catcher." More importantly though is he almost seems to have a knack for picking up his hitting when the team needs him most. First, back in 2009 when he basically carried the offense on his back after Morneau went down and then currently with all the injuries with him being on fire since May. He's not really an all-star, but they do have to pick one person from every team (Ron Coomer made it once for christ's sake) and I gotta say - guy deserves it. Mainly because Kubel got hurt, but it still counts. So congrats Cuddy. I hope they trade you.
2. Vance Worley. As you've probably heard, the Philadelphia Phillies have quite the pitching rotation - Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Cole Hamels, and Roy Oswalt each would be the ace of nearly every other team in the league. So the last thing they need (from an opponent point of view) is a good fifth starter, which means everyone should be looking around a little nervously after Worley's outing against the Red Sox on Wednesday. He threw 7 innings of 5 hit, 1 run ball against the red-hot Sox, which now brings his ERA down to 2.57 on the year. He's still more of a reliever being stretched into a starter, but with Oswalt on the shelf now they'll need him in the rotation full-time. I was going to write something else but honestly does anybody give a crap about this guy right now? Let's just wait for the playoffs and then we'll talk about him if we need to.
3. Nick Watney. He won the AT&T National by 2 shots after going bogey-free over the last 27 holes, shot a 62 on Friday to break the course record at Aronimink, and is on my fantasy team. The perfect trifecta that every golfer shoots for.
4. Aramis Ramirez. I don't know if any single hitter is hotter than Ramirez right now. He homered 4 times this week including a couple ninth-inning jobbers, one of which was off of Giants' closer Brian Wilson to tie the game - the first homer allowed by Wilson all year. He also pinch hit and knocked in the winning run in the bottom of the ninth in a different game against the Giants and has hit .400 with 7 homers in his last 11 games. To be completely honest there's little that bores me as much as the Cubs and the worldwide obsession with them, but sometimes someone just keeps hitting home runs and game winning hits off of people who don't generally give up those kinds of things and then sometimes I take notice. This is one of those times.
5. Bryce Harper. Yes, Brian Harper's kid is proving himself to be a bit of a douche by doing things like blowing kisses to opposing pitchers after he goes yard, but he is also hitting the ever-loving shit out of the ball. After demolishing the pitching in single-A this year to the tune of .318/.423/.554 with 14 homers, 17 doubles, and 15 steals, he just got promoted to double A ball. At the age of 18. He's killed the ball at every stop so far (Instructional League, Arizona Fall League, and now single-A) and there really isn't any reason why he shouldn't continue to do so. So basically a total asshat is going to fly through the minors without any issues and arrive in the big leagues with zero humbless and 100% asshattery. This is going to be spectacular.
WHO SUCKED
1. Matt Capps. I am so sick of Matt Capps and his stupid fat face and his stupid fake Jesse Crain necklace. It was a stupid trade when they made it, especially when you consider how the team's starting catcher is more brittle than the 6-month old skeleton of that dead hooker I have in my closet, and it's an even more stupid trade now that Cappsy completely refuses to get anybody out. Not that it should surprise anyone since the only really remarkable thing about his pitching is his consistent opportunities to get saves for shitty teams. His career ERA, career WHIP, and career mediocre stuff basically scream middle reliever/low-end setup guy, but in 2007 the Pirates didn't have anyone in the bullpen and, after trying Salomon Torres with little success, made Capps their closer and he saved 18 games in mediocre fashion and has been tabbed a closer ever since, which is how we ended up here, with no back-up catcher and a shitty bullpen. Huzzah!
2. Nick Blackburn. Speaking of mediocre as shit pitchers who get far too much credit, welcome back to reality Nick Blackburn. A soft-tossing nancy can actually have a long and lucrative career as long as he's left-handed, but seeing as Blackburn throws correctly he will instead continue to flounder about as a 5th starter, maybe 4th, and although he'll have very good stretches at times (like earlier this year) he'll also always fall back into line as a 4th or 5th starter, tops. Regression to the mean is a very real thing, and also a cruel mistress. And not the good kind. You know what I'm talking about.
3. Joe Mauer. I know what you're thinking - "Dude, the Twins aren't playing all that badly right now, why so many Twins call-outs?" And it's because these three guys have been just brutally bad. I won't get into Mauer's deal too much here because I plan on writing an entire post about it later this week, but let me give you a little spoiler: he sucks.
4. MLB All-Star choices. Way to go morons. And I'm not even talking about your average mouth-breather who shows up to games and votes for Derek Jeter and every other Yankee. I think we've washed our hands of them, yes? Then it's up to the managers to get everything else right. Well not really. Enter poor Andrew McCutchen. Maybe the best hitting/fielding combo outfielder in the NL, but doesn't make it. Why? Because they took Pirate "closer" Joel Hanrahan instead because he has a bunch of saves and is actually having a really good year now that I look it up and he's a totally worthy all-star so I'm kind of losing some wind here. But McCutchen is really awesome and deserves it. Actually the fact that he doesn't make it and Cuddy does should really be enough reason to overhaul the whole thing, but I just got my new KC Royals hat in the mail so what do I care?
5. Kenny Britt. This guy is taking the art of "talented headcase" to a whole new level. Whereas your classic headcases like Randy Moss and Terrell Owens generally don't harm anyone other than themselves (and possibly their teammates), Britt seems to be heading more down the Lawrence Phillips path. Britt surrendered himself to police this weekend because of two warrants for giving false information on a drivers license application, which sounds pretty lame but then you combine that with his three arrests for resisting arrest, including one that ended up in a police chase, and he's going to end up doing something really, really stupid one of these days soon. If you have him in a keeper league I'd unload immediately. Call me.
Lastly, I'm sure you all want to know what was on the menu for 4th of July dinner. Credit goes to Mrs. W on this one - she made a cucumber dill dip (awesome), blue cheese meatballs for the grill (super awesome), and corn on the cob. The first two were just tremendous, and then corn on the cob is always good but kind of boring. Anybody know a good way to fancy it up a bit?
Showing posts with label MLB All-Star Game. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MLB All-Star Game. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Tuesday Talkings - 4/28/2011
Do you guys have any idea how hard it is to come up with things to write for a Twins/Gopher basketball blog when there's nothing going on with Gopher basketball and the Twins suck worse than your life does? Seriously, before long most of the blog entries here are going to be like, "Hey, have I told you about my bunions? Oh, you're gonna love this story! So, I line up my cold cuts on the couch next to me, but as I'm stacking them up, they keep falling into my foot bath!"
You just watch, it's going to happen. Although, once again due to the Twins' ineptitude, I don't think anybody is reading anyway. Yes, it must be due to the Twins' ineptitude.
Anyway, I'm just going to sit here and type things as I think of them. You monkeys will read anything.
- Speaking of reading anything, have you been checking out Grantland.com, Bill Simmons new sports and pop culture site? I like it overall so far, mainly because it gives you 4-5 new articles every day to choose from. It's certainly been a mixed bag, with great stuff like Klosterman's great piece about a JuCo basketball game in North Dakota from 1988 (I know it sounds weird, just read it) mixed in with some complete garbage like this (hatchet job on stats using basketball as an example), this (brutally bad and rambling article that states it's point and then never comes close to touching on it again), and this (weird attack on Blake Lively that doesn't belong on this site - or anywhere, really) as well as some weird homer shit from Simmons about the Bruins. Overall though, there are 3 or so pretty entertaining pieces per day and more good than bad, so I'd recommend making it part of your daily internet routine. Or not, whatever. Like I care.
- Twins are winning 3-1 right now in the fourth. Kind of a weird feeling.
- Maybe we should talk some Big 10 hoops, eh? Since that's kind of the whole reason I started this blog - well, that and boredom....maybe a little egotism. Going to be kind of an odd year since there's so much talent leaving. Of the three all Big Ten teams only Jared Sullinger, Jordan Taylor, Trevor Mbakwe, William Buford, Draymond Green, and John Shurna are back. Only 3 of the 6 honorable mentions are back as well (wait, Lewis Jackson was honorable mention all Big Ten? How is this possible? Is there some sort of degree of difficulty modifier added due to being 5-foot-6?)
One of the players I'm most intrigued with this year is Illinois freshman point guard Tracy Abrams, who ranks as the #13 point guard and #58 overall recruit according to Rivals. As you probably are aware of, for some reason when Chester Frazier graduated Bruce Weber decided Demetri McNuggets was going to be there point guard and never bothered to get another one. This led to McCamey putting up good stats (although he couldn't put up a single rep on the bench press at the NBA Combine) and constantly unraveling at the end of games because, as anybody could tell, he wasn't a god damn point guard. Now, still thanks to Weber's complete inattentiveness to the position (Tubby -> Hi) they are giving the job to Abrams because he's the only PG on the roster. Illinois has plenty of talent back so basically their entire season hinges on if Abrams can handle the PG position. Always good to have your season's success hanging on whether an 18-year old kid can play the most important position on the court in his first year jumping from High School to major College ball.
The other player who I think will have the biggest impact on a team's success or failure this year is Brandon Wood of Michigan State. Wood was a lightly recruited combo guard out of high school who signed with Southern Illinois and then transferred to Valpo. He blossomed with the Crusaders, averaging 17 points, 4.5 rebs, and 3 assists in his last two years and lighting up North Carolina for 30, Michigan State for 24, and Purdue for over 20 twice in those two years. He's eligible immediately since he's already graduated, and with the Spartans losing Kalin Lucas (expected) and Korie Lucious (unexpected) they're thin in the back court (unlike Draymond Green). I fully expect Wood to end up being their primary ball-handler. If he's a disaster Michigan State's season will likely be as well, unless Green can run full-time point forward duties.
Finally, I am curious to see how Jordan Taylor does with nothing around him. He obviously had a monster season last year but he had Jon Leuer to help take a lot of the defensive attention off of him, and even Keaton Nankivil to help. Now they're both gone and I know Bo Ryan and the gay Badgers always find ways to win and somebody always steps up but I really don't see anyone on this roster capable of becoming a viable second scorer. It's all going to be up to Taylor, and he's either going to average 24 pts/8 rebs/7 assists per game or he's going to end up shooting in the low 30s percentage-wise. Maybe both.
- For the record I am VERY unhappy with Emma Stone's new blonde hair. Very unhappy. I'm super glad I broke up with her now. She's 10 times hotter with red hair, and that might be a low number.
- Russell freaking Martin leads the AL in voting at catcher? Jesus it's almost all Yankees. Something needs to be done about this process. Maybe it should be like having a baby should be and you have to pass some kind of competency exam first. First, Martin doesn't even have enough plate appearances to qualify for the batting title. Second, he's hitting just .230, 8th among AL catchers with at least 100 PAs. He ranks 6th in HRs and RBI amongst AL catchers and 5th in OPS. I'm guessing this is simply a case of being a Yankee and having a name people recognize as having been really really good in the NL a few years ago. Poor Alex Avila. He's having a monster season so far (note: I had no idea) and he'll have to catch a break to make the All-Star game. Derek Jeter (who is actually having a worse season at the plate than Alexi Casilla) garnering more votes than Asdrubel Cabrera is actually a bigger travesty, but writing about Jeter being overrated is like telling jokes about airplane food at this point.
- You can go ahead and put me squarely in the camp of "Josh Selby won't get it figured out." Guy's got AND 1 All-Star written all over him. Skip to My Lou 2 - The Reversoning.
- Cliff Lee shut out the Red Sox tonight and allowed just two hits, which wouldn't really be all that surprising since it is Cliff Lee after all, but I was doing some digging into this game for gambling purposes (I ended up not wagering on the game) and it's actually amazing considering how the current Sox have done in their careers against Lee. Marco Scutaro has hit .302 against him, Pedroia has hit .364, Darnell McDonald .400, and Adrian Gonzalez an incredible .700. Kevin Youkilis hasn't hit him that well, but he's drawn 4 walks to 2 strikeouts and has a .400 OBP against Lee. He's dominated Ellsbury and Varitek, but really based on history the Sox should have had some success against Lee. Which once again proves that nothing makes any sense ever.
- You know, Daenarys Targaryen is a dead-ringer for Claire from Lost. Check it:
I speak truth.
Like always.
You just watch, it's going to happen. Although, once again due to the Twins' ineptitude, I don't think anybody is reading anyway. Yes, it must be due to the Twins' ineptitude.
Anyway, I'm just going to sit here and type things as I think of them. You monkeys will read anything.
- Speaking of reading anything, have you been checking out Grantland.com, Bill Simmons new sports and pop culture site? I like it overall so far, mainly because it gives you 4-5 new articles every day to choose from. It's certainly been a mixed bag, with great stuff like Klosterman's great piece about a JuCo basketball game in North Dakota from 1988 (I know it sounds weird, just read it) mixed in with some complete garbage like this (hatchet job on stats using basketball as an example), this (brutally bad and rambling article that states it's point and then never comes close to touching on it again), and this (weird attack on Blake Lively that doesn't belong on this site - or anywhere, really) as well as some weird homer shit from Simmons about the Bruins. Overall though, there are 3 or so pretty entertaining pieces per day and more good than bad, so I'd recommend making it part of your daily internet routine. Or not, whatever. Like I care.
- Twins are winning 3-1 right now in the fourth. Kind of a weird feeling.
- Maybe we should talk some Big 10 hoops, eh? Since that's kind of the whole reason I started this blog - well, that and boredom....maybe a little egotism. Going to be kind of an odd year since there's so much talent leaving. Of the three all Big Ten teams only Jared Sullinger, Jordan Taylor, Trevor Mbakwe, William Buford, Draymond Green, and John Shurna are back. Only 3 of the 6 honorable mentions are back as well (wait, Lewis Jackson was honorable mention all Big Ten? How is this possible? Is there some sort of degree of difficulty modifier added due to being 5-foot-6?)
One of the players I'm most intrigued with this year is Illinois freshman point guard Tracy Abrams, who ranks as the #13 point guard and #58 overall recruit according to Rivals. As you probably are aware of, for some reason when Chester Frazier graduated Bruce Weber decided Demetri McNuggets was going to be there point guard and never bothered to get another one. This led to McCamey putting up good stats (although he couldn't put up a single rep on the bench press at the NBA Combine) and constantly unraveling at the end of games because, as anybody could tell, he wasn't a god damn point guard. Now, still thanks to Weber's complete inattentiveness to the position (Tubby -> Hi) they are giving the job to Abrams because he's the only PG on the roster. Illinois has plenty of talent back so basically their entire season hinges on if Abrams can handle the PG position. Always good to have your season's success hanging on whether an 18-year old kid can play the most important position on the court in his first year jumping from High School to major College ball.
The other player who I think will have the biggest impact on a team's success or failure this year is Brandon Wood of Michigan State. Wood was a lightly recruited combo guard out of high school who signed with Southern Illinois and then transferred to Valpo. He blossomed with the Crusaders, averaging 17 points, 4.5 rebs, and 3 assists in his last two years and lighting up North Carolina for 30, Michigan State for 24, and Purdue for over 20 twice in those two years. He's eligible immediately since he's already graduated, and with the Spartans losing Kalin Lucas (expected) and Korie Lucious (unexpected) they're thin in the back court (unlike Draymond Green). I fully expect Wood to end up being their primary ball-handler. If he's a disaster Michigan State's season will likely be as well, unless Green can run full-time point forward duties.
Finally, I am curious to see how Jordan Taylor does with nothing around him. He obviously had a monster season last year but he had Jon Leuer to help take a lot of the defensive attention off of him, and even Keaton Nankivil to help. Now they're both gone and I know Bo Ryan and the gay Badgers always find ways to win and somebody always steps up but I really don't see anyone on this roster capable of becoming a viable second scorer. It's all going to be up to Taylor, and he's either going to average 24 pts/8 rebs/7 assists per game or he's going to end up shooting in the low 30s percentage-wise. Maybe both.
- For the record I am VERY unhappy with Emma Stone's new blonde hair. Very unhappy. I'm super glad I broke up with her now. She's 10 times hotter with red hair, and that might be a low number.
- Russell freaking Martin leads the AL in voting at catcher? Jesus it's almost all Yankees. Something needs to be done about this process. Maybe it should be like having a baby should be and you have to pass some kind of competency exam first. First, Martin doesn't even have enough plate appearances to qualify for the batting title. Second, he's hitting just .230, 8th among AL catchers with at least 100 PAs. He ranks 6th in HRs and RBI amongst AL catchers and 5th in OPS. I'm guessing this is simply a case of being a Yankee and having a name people recognize as having been really really good in the NL a few years ago. Poor Alex Avila. He's having a monster season so far (note: I had no idea) and he'll have to catch a break to make the All-Star game. Derek Jeter (who is actually having a worse season at the plate than Alexi Casilla) garnering more votes than Asdrubel Cabrera is actually a bigger travesty, but writing about Jeter being overrated is like telling jokes about airplane food at this point.
- You can go ahead and put me squarely in the camp of "Josh Selby won't get it figured out." Guy's got AND 1 All-Star written all over him. Skip to My Lou 2 - The Reversoning.
- Cliff Lee shut out the Red Sox tonight and allowed just two hits, which wouldn't really be all that surprising since it is Cliff Lee after all, but I was doing some digging into this game for gambling purposes (I ended up not wagering on the game) and it's actually amazing considering how the current Sox have done in their careers against Lee. Marco Scutaro has hit .302 against him, Pedroia has hit .364, Darnell McDonald .400, and Adrian Gonzalez an incredible .700. Kevin Youkilis hasn't hit him that well, but he's drawn 4 walks to 2 strikeouts and has a .400 OBP against Lee. He's dominated Ellsbury and Varitek, but really based on history the Sox should have had some success against Lee. Which once again proves that nothing makes any sense ever.
- You know, Daenarys Targaryen is a dead-ringer for Claire from Lost. Check it:
I speak truth.
Like always.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
All-Star Game Jibber Jabber (aka I rock at cooking)
So here was my plan. I was going to blog about possible other options with Cliff Lee off the board for the Twins tonight and then give a little British Open preview tomorrow. However I've had a great day. At work I had the opportunity to meet Disturbed and listen to their new album (dropping 8/31) and it was awesome. Sounded great and the guys were cool as hell. Then I came home and my parents came over and I grilled them up the awesomest meal ever: Herb & Garlic grilled pork chops, grilled lemon pepper asparagus, and grilled seasoned american fries. It was out of this world good. And now I have a couple Negra Modelos in me, along with a couple of Brewfarm Selects, and their might have been a daquiri mixed in there, so I'm feeling good, and we're going to blog the All-Star game. Maybe you'll get some possible Twin targets, and maybe you'll get some British Open. I don't know. What am I, Nostradamus?
- Ok, so we might as well break down this Twins crap. They aren't going to go after Oswalt or Haren. Too much money remaining, plus Oswalt has basically ruled out the AL central teams and has a no trade clause, and the D-Backs owner has said he would need to be "blown away" to trade Haren. Not going to happen. The Cubs are clearly looking to trade either or both of Ted Lilly or Ryan Dempster, and I am interested in Lilly but Dempster is worthless. The real problem with Lilly is that he's now the hands down #1 arm on the market, and with just $6 mil this year (pro-rated) and nothing due to him after that, he's an attractive arm and everybody is going to be putting on their lowest cut top and body glitter to go after him. Pretty sure the Twins philosophy is more Kelly Kapowski than Valerie Malone, so they have no chance.
- Other options are Jake Westbrook, Kevin Millwood, and Ben Sheets, but do you really think they'd upgrade the Twins rotation? Oh, right. Blackburn. Good point. Still, I can't imagine anybody being dumb enough to give up anything of substance for any of those guys.
- Another name I heard on the radio today is Jarrod Washburn, who has been linked to the Twins more often than Audrina to Justin Bobby. He hasn't pitched all year but somehow a completely mediocre pitcher is going to command a big salary and come in and contribute in a pennant race? Please. In all seriousness, as bad as Blackburn and, frankly, the rest of the rotation have been I don't really see any way they can improve unless they can find a way to steal Lilly away. Of course, if David Kahn was in charge of the Twins he'd trade Orlando Hudson and Jason Kubel for Livan Hernandez and a $7 million trade exemption, so I guess we're lucky tight-ass Billy Smith is in charge.
- I watched an inning and a half of the all-star whilst typing that and I didn't notice a single thing that was memorable. Good show, MLB. The best part of this entire broadcast has been this sneak peek at Inception I'm seeing right now. Also, and this is really not cool to say, but there is a commercial with MLB players helping out special people, and they showed a guy and I thought, "oh, poor guy, looks like he's doing well for himself though", and it turned out to be Jake Peavy. I know, I feel bad. I'm just sayin' is all.
- So British Open, huh? My favorite of the majors. I love the weird times, and I love the weird, unpredictable golf. I'd love to give you a full breakdown, but I haven't done the necessary research. I will tell you that either Justin Rose or Ernie Els is going to win though. I have a couple of sleepers, too, but I'm not ready to release that information. Maybe for a small fee. Send me an email.
- 1-0 in the bottom of the sixth. That over 8.5 is looking AWESOME.
- You know, right after the first inning they were talking about the weird shadows and how it would be difficult to pick up the ball. With guys like Ubaldo, Josh Johnson, David Price, etc. pitching early there was no way anybody was going to score. How is that fair? How come they don't tell you that before you bet on the over 8.5? See, this is why all those dicks in Vegas are rich. Not because gambling is inherently stupid and a losing proposition, but because they are all cheaters. And dicks.
- Al Jefferson to the Jazz for a couple picks, which won't be lottery, and a big ole trade exemption. Well, if hey do something good with that exemption I'll be in favor, but if they eat it to sign guys like Luke Ridnour this is going to be an awful trade, and to be honest I'm not really feeling good. They are trying or have I'm not sure signed Ridnour to a 4 year/$16 million deal, one year after signing Ramon Sessions to the same deal, and are now trying to trade Sessions. Honestly, there's no doubt that Kahn is either a genius or is setting Minnesota basketball back ten years, and it's already six years behind everybody else.
- Capps is 2-2 to Ortiz, shakes off the catcher three times, and then gets Ortiz looking with a tailing heater. Nicely done.
- Wow. Scott Rolen. .290 with 17 dingers so far this year. This dude is an ageless wonder. He's got his 300 homers and will end up around 2,700 career hits. Not hall of fame numbers, but combined with his great fielding year after year and he's going to end up as one of those really good players who isn't a hall of famer but is still recognized as awfully good. I dunno, that's gotta count for something.
- By the way, my dad really, really hates Tim McCarver. I can't argue with him.
- You probably haven't noticed because you are probably not smart enough to notice these things, but Derrick Caracter is destroying Summer League. Steal of a pick for the Lakers. Remember that when you see him playing meaningful minutes in the playoffs.
- It' still 1-0 in the bottom of the seventh and I'm finding it awfully hard to pay attention. Probably has something to do with the wine cooler I'm currently drinking. Yep, wine cooler. Because that's all we have left. Come on, you've been there.
- This summer, grant us all the power, to drink on top of water towers.
- Brian McCann just cleared the bases with a bases-loaded double to put the NL up 3-1 and in position for their first win in like 20 years. Naturally, we took the AL. FML.
- Ok, I don't like to admit stuff like this, but who in the hell is Andrew Bailey? Apparently he is the closer for the A's, and has quite a few saves this year. I've never heard of him. Has he been around a long time? Wait, he was rookie of the year last year? Are we sure? Wasn't it Elvis Andrus? I know way too much about baseball, but I don't know who this guy is.
- He struck Brandon Phillips out. Like that's hard. God this game is taking forever. There have only been four runs scored and it's already 10:09.
- I maybe had a little bit of an idea who Andrew Bailey was, but I seriously have never heard of Koby Kalay.
- You know how if you ever read anything about a good curveball the guy they always point out amongst current players is Adam Wainwright? There's a reason.
- John Buck being an all-star makes me sad.
- And he promptly doubles, although it shouldn't probably count because Matt Holliday did a nice little Delmon Young/Mike Cuddyer impression and let himself get all mixed up and that one hit off his glove. Seriously, is there a worse defensive outfield than the Twins (outside Denard)? Let's say you played a game where a machine threw out random flyballs to all areas of the field, and there were two teams who each had to field 10 balls each. Team one was Delmon, Kubel, and Cuddyer. Team two is Carlos Gomez. Who wins? Seriously.
- Scene: 3-1 NL, bottom of the seventh, two out, Torii Hunter up in his home park. Any doubt, any doubt at all that he strikes out against a guy with a breaking ball like Wainwright?
- 1-1 pitch, Wainwright breaker down and away and nowhere near a strike. Wait, I mean it was strike 2 - swinging. LOL.
- 1-2 pitch. Wainwright breaker down and away and nowhere near a strike. Wait, I mean it was strike 3 - swinging. LOL. Seriously. If it wasn't so predictable it would just be sad.
- Did you guys know Rafael Soriano is is the first Rays reliever selected to the All-Star game since 2005? Did you also know that that's probably the stupidest thing I've read in my life?
- Jack Buck? That's not right. Jim? Jay? Tim? Mike? Whatever. The son of the good one wants us to know that "Brian Wilson showed up to media day with a mohawk" and his voice sounds as if he has a schoolgirl crush on Wilson because of that bit of teenage rebellion by a 30-year old. So a crappy retard mohawk is cool, but the fake mooning Randy Moss did is the most disgusting thing in sports history? This guy sucks. He almost makes Chris Berman listenable but not really because I'd rather stab my face off than listen to Berman for more than 6 seconds at a time.
- Valverde struck out the side in the top of the ninth, so to win both our bets we somehow need the AL to score five runs. Could easily happen, but would take some luck. I'm struggling to come up with any good closer in the NL who could shut this thing down, so I'm thinking it's a lock for the AL.
- Broxton? This is a gimme for the AL.
- Base hit Ortiz. Like Fergie said, let's get it started uh huh, let's get it started in here.......
- Beltre strikes out but that's not a surprise because that guy sucks. Not sure what Girardi is saving A-Rod for. Don't think Nick Punto is due up anytime soon. Also every single pitcher has hit 99 on the gun tonight. Going to go ahead and surmise that thing might be juiced up for TV. Also now John Buck is up, and we're still not getting A-Rod. I know there's something something about only having one catcher or some crap, but I'm not a big believer in planning ahead. That's why I'm about to have two kids.
- Ortiz gunned at second on what should have been a bloop single by Buck. Look, I get that you want to play everybody, but the All-Star game now counts for something, and something fairly substantial, so shouldn't you be prepared with your 33 man roster to deal with this situation? Just make Go-Go an all-star for his pinch running duties. And therein lies the problem with trying to make an exhibition into a meaningful game. I feel like an essay is due here but I'm tired and much like my scholastic life I'm going to go to bed instead of turning in my homework. NL won. They didn't score over 8.5 runs. Joy.
- Ok, so we might as well break down this Twins crap. They aren't going to go after Oswalt or Haren. Too much money remaining, plus Oswalt has basically ruled out the AL central teams and has a no trade clause, and the D-Backs owner has said he would need to be "blown away" to trade Haren. Not going to happen. The Cubs are clearly looking to trade either or both of Ted Lilly or Ryan Dempster, and I am interested in Lilly but Dempster is worthless. The real problem with Lilly is that he's now the hands down #1 arm on the market, and with just $6 mil this year (pro-rated) and nothing due to him after that, he's an attractive arm and everybody is going to be putting on their lowest cut top and body glitter to go after him. Pretty sure the Twins philosophy is more Kelly Kapowski than Valerie Malone, so they have no chance.
- Other options are Jake Westbrook, Kevin Millwood, and Ben Sheets, but do you really think they'd upgrade the Twins rotation? Oh, right. Blackburn. Good point. Still, I can't imagine anybody being dumb enough to give up anything of substance for any of those guys.
- Another name I heard on the radio today is Jarrod Washburn, who has been linked to the Twins more often than Audrina to Justin Bobby. He hasn't pitched all year but somehow a completely mediocre pitcher is going to command a big salary and come in and contribute in a pennant race? Please. In all seriousness, as bad as Blackburn and, frankly, the rest of the rotation have been I don't really see any way they can improve unless they can find a way to steal Lilly away. Of course, if David Kahn was in charge of the Twins he'd trade Orlando Hudson and Jason Kubel for Livan Hernandez and a $7 million trade exemption, so I guess we're lucky tight-ass Billy Smith is in charge.
- I watched an inning and a half of the all-star whilst typing that and I didn't notice a single thing that was memorable. Good show, MLB. The best part of this entire broadcast has been this sneak peek at Inception I'm seeing right now. Also, and this is really not cool to say, but there is a commercial with MLB players helping out special people, and they showed a guy and I thought, "oh, poor guy, looks like he's doing well for himself though", and it turned out to be Jake Peavy. I know, I feel bad. I'm just sayin' is all.
- So British Open, huh? My favorite of the majors. I love the weird times, and I love the weird, unpredictable golf. I'd love to give you a full breakdown, but I haven't done the necessary research. I will tell you that either Justin Rose or Ernie Els is going to win though. I have a couple of sleepers, too, but I'm not ready to release that information. Maybe for a small fee. Send me an email.
- 1-0 in the bottom of the sixth. That over 8.5 is looking AWESOME.
- You know, right after the first inning they were talking about the weird shadows and how it would be difficult to pick up the ball. With guys like Ubaldo, Josh Johnson, David Price, etc. pitching early there was no way anybody was going to score. How is that fair? How come they don't tell you that before you bet on the over 8.5? See, this is why all those dicks in Vegas are rich. Not because gambling is inherently stupid and a losing proposition, but because they are all cheaters. And dicks.
- Al Jefferson to the Jazz for a couple picks, which won't be lottery, and a big ole trade exemption. Well, if hey do something good with that exemption I'll be in favor, but if they eat it to sign guys like Luke Ridnour this is going to be an awful trade, and to be honest I'm not really feeling good. They are trying or have I'm not sure signed Ridnour to a 4 year/$16 million deal, one year after signing Ramon Sessions to the same deal, and are now trying to trade Sessions. Honestly, there's no doubt that Kahn is either a genius or is setting Minnesota basketball back ten years, and it's already six years behind everybody else.
- Capps is 2-2 to Ortiz, shakes off the catcher three times, and then gets Ortiz looking with a tailing heater. Nicely done.
- Wow. Scott Rolen. .290 with 17 dingers so far this year. This dude is an ageless wonder. He's got his 300 homers and will end up around 2,700 career hits. Not hall of fame numbers, but combined with his great fielding year after year and he's going to end up as one of those really good players who isn't a hall of famer but is still recognized as awfully good. I dunno, that's gotta count for something.
- By the way, my dad really, really hates Tim McCarver. I can't argue with him.
- You probably haven't noticed because you are probably not smart enough to notice these things, but Derrick Caracter is destroying Summer League. Steal of a pick for the Lakers. Remember that when you see him playing meaningful minutes in the playoffs.
- It' still 1-0 in the bottom of the seventh and I'm finding it awfully hard to pay attention. Probably has something to do with the wine cooler I'm currently drinking. Yep, wine cooler. Because that's all we have left. Come on, you've been there.
- This summer, grant us all the power, to drink on top of water towers.
- Brian McCann just cleared the bases with a bases-loaded double to put the NL up 3-1 and in position for their first win in like 20 years. Naturally, we took the AL. FML.
- Ok, I don't like to admit stuff like this, but who in the hell is Andrew Bailey? Apparently he is the closer for the A's, and has quite a few saves this year. I've never heard of him. Has he been around a long time? Wait, he was rookie of the year last year? Are we sure? Wasn't it Elvis Andrus? I know way too much about baseball, but I don't know who this guy is.
- He struck Brandon Phillips out. Like that's hard. God this game is taking forever. There have only been four runs scored and it's already 10:09.
- I maybe had a little bit of an idea who Andrew Bailey was, but I seriously have never heard of Koby Kalay.
- You know how if you ever read anything about a good curveball the guy they always point out amongst current players is Adam Wainwright? There's a reason.
- John Buck being an all-star makes me sad.
- And he promptly doubles, although it shouldn't probably count because Matt Holliday did a nice little Delmon Young/Mike Cuddyer impression and let himself get all mixed up and that one hit off his glove. Seriously, is there a worse defensive outfield than the Twins (outside Denard)? Let's say you played a game where a machine threw out random flyballs to all areas of the field, and there were two teams who each had to field 10 balls each. Team one was Delmon, Kubel, and Cuddyer. Team two is Carlos Gomez. Who wins? Seriously.
- Scene: 3-1 NL, bottom of the seventh, two out, Torii Hunter up in his home park. Any doubt, any doubt at all that he strikes out against a guy with a breaking ball like Wainwright?
- 1-1 pitch, Wainwright breaker down and away and nowhere near a strike. Wait, I mean it was strike 2 - swinging. LOL.
- 1-2 pitch. Wainwright breaker down and away and nowhere near a strike. Wait, I mean it was strike 3 - swinging. LOL. Seriously. If it wasn't so predictable it would just be sad.
- Did you guys know Rafael Soriano is is the first Rays reliever selected to the All-Star game since 2005? Did you also know that that's probably the stupidest thing I've read in my life?
- Jack Buck? That's not right. Jim? Jay? Tim? Mike? Whatever. The son of the good one wants us to know that "Brian Wilson showed up to media day with a mohawk" and his voice sounds as if he has a schoolgirl crush on Wilson because of that bit of teenage rebellion by a 30-year old. So a crappy retard mohawk is cool, but the fake mooning Randy Moss did is the most disgusting thing in sports history? This guy sucks. He almost makes Chris Berman listenable but not really because I'd rather stab my face off than listen to Berman for more than 6 seconds at a time.
- Valverde struck out the side in the top of the ninth, so to win both our bets we somehow need the AL to score five runs. Could easily happen, but would take some luck. I'm struggling to come up with any good closer in the NL who could shut this thing down, so I'm thinking it's a lock for the AL.
- Broxton? This is a gimme for the AL.
- Base hit Ortiz. Like Fergie said, let's get it started uh huh, let's get it started in here.......
- Beltre strikes out but that's not a surprise because that guy sucks. Not sure what Girardi is saving A-Rod for. Don't think Nick Punto is due up anytime soon. Also every single pitcher has hit 99 on the gun tonight. Going to go ahead and surmise that thing might be juiced up for TV. Also now John Buck is up, and we're still not getting A-Rod. I know there's something something about only having one catcher or some crap, but I'm not a big believer in planning ahead. That's why I'm about to have two kids.
- Ortiz gunned at second on what should have been a bloop single by Buck. Look, I get that you want to play everybody, but the All-Star game now counts for something, and something fairly substantial, so shouldn't you be prepared with your 33 man roster to deal with this situation? Just make Go-Go an all-star for his pinch running duties. And therein lies the problem with trying to make an exhibition into a meaningful game. I feel like an essay is due here but I'm tired and much like my scholastic life I'm going to go to bed instead of turning in my homework. NL won. They didn't score over 8.5 runs. Joy.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
All-Star Tuesday Talkings (British Open Preview)
Yep, it's all star Tuesday so I'm writing, but I don't plan to write a single thing about the All-Star game because it's just so stupid. Let me get this straight, this game counts for something pretty important now, but the starters are still voted in by idiotic fans? And they take rosters of 33 freaking players on each team, and managers are bound by some stupid unwritten rule to try to play everybody? And you can't let any pitcher go more than one or two innings because if Roy Halladay hurts his arm in his third inning of work somehow every one will be mad at you even though he routinely goes nine innings every fifth day? It's like the collective league is Regina George and the manager is Gretchen Weiners.
I just don't get how something so far removed from real baseball can give such an advantage to a team in the quest to win the World Series. Seriously, if this rule was in place in '87 and '91 and the NL won the all-star game, we'd be sitting wondering if the Twins will ever win a World Series. I mean, I'm not exactly a huge fan of the random element they used to have but it's better than this - and better than giving home field advantage to the league that has a better record in interleague play, which I've also heard bandied about. That's also idiotic.
It's really simple. Home field advantage goes to the team with the better regular season record. That's how all the other leagues do it. Why? Because it makes a lot more sense to reward a team for a great 162-game season than it does to reward a team whose league won a stupid exhibition. And if you insist on keeping that dumb rule, then Gretchen Weiners has to stick up to Regina like that time she wore sweat pants to the lunch table. Throw Halladay three innings. Then throw Greinke three. Then go through the closers and end with Rivera. Bam, game. But they won't. It'll be one inning, one inning, one inning, and eventually either Tim Wakefield or Andrew Bailey will be in and it'll be tee-off time for the NL. Stupid.
What makes it even worse is that I actually get a little bit pumped up when they do all the fanfare before the game. They always give it a nice historical perspective, whether it's tonight's little St. Louis baseball mini-history or like the year they brought out Ted Williams and Willie Mays, it's a very nice touch and I enjoy it. Then the game starts and it's a big joke. Let's just move on to something else.
- I'm mainly writing tonight to give my half-assed British Open preview, much like my half-assed Masters and US Open previews, which didn't quite get the winners right. All that really means is that I am due. In the same tradition, I will give you my top ten (after Tiger) picks to win.
1. Steve Stricker. It's weird to pick a noted non-closer to win an event like the British, but it all seems to be in place for Stricker. Two wins in his last four events, including a win last week, and recent success at the Open, finishing 8th and 7th the last two years. No reason he shouldn't be right there at the end.
2. Ian Poulter. It's almost a certainty that Ian Poulter will be winning a major at some point, probably while wearing pink pants, and it makes a lot of sense that it could be this one. Poulter is a very solid Open player, topping off with a second place finish last year at Royal Birkdale, has been very solid in the other majors (31st, 20th, and 18th) and is having a good year.
3. Lee Westwood. Westwood isn't super, duper great at the Open, but he does have two top tens in his career and has made the cut the last three years, so he's not horrible either. He's familiar with links style golf, being a communist and all, and is getting hot at the right time, with a tie for 8th last week in the Scottish Open coming on the heels of a runner-up finish in the French Open.
4. Hunter Mahan. This guy is quietly playing some of the best golf of anybody right now, but at the same time is a bit under the radar since he hasn't actually picked up a victory. He has top 10s in his last three starts, has made the cut in every event he has played this season, and has top tens in both of this year's majors. He did miss the cut last year at the Open, which gives me slight pause, but last year was a rough one for him, and not only has he found his game again but two years ago when he was playing well he pulled a sixth place finish at Carnoustie.
5. Sergio Garcia. Usually this sexy son of a bitch would be my #1 pick after Tiger, but a slow and disappointing year so far has really left me scratching my head. Still, the spaniard is a wizard when it comes to the British Open, with six top 10s in his last eight attempts and he does seem to be getting his game figured out, notching a tie for tenth at the US Open and has played better across the pond than here in the States.
6. Henrik Stenson. This guy is another one who it feels like is just waiting to win a major, and could be set up to do it this week. He already won this year at the "fifth major", the Players Championship at Sawgrass, and has been in contention at pretty much every major recently, with three top tens in the last four majors. He's a cool customer, since like most Swedes he has no soul, so if he's in contention coming down the stretch he isn't likely to Van de Velde it up.
7. Rory McIlroy. It's weird to pick a kid this young to be a top contender at the Open, but he's just tough. This year his four toughest events have resulted in a Quarterfinal finish at the Match Play, a 20th place finish at both the WGC-CA and the Masters, and a tie for tenth at the US Open - clearly he's not intimidated. Add in the fact that he is ripping it up on the European Tour (fifth in the Race to Dubai), and it wouldn't surprise me to see him right in the thick of it on Sunday.
8. Jim Furyk. Boring? Predictable? How about we go with steady instead. Top 11 in five of his last six tournaments, made the cut in fourteen of his last fifteen majors, and two top fives in his last three Opens, with a tie for twelfth in the third. He did miss five straight cuts at the British from 2001-2005, which shows me that this kind of golf can swallow him up at times and keeps me from putting him any higher on my list, but I expect him to hang around and at least make a little noise.
9. Paul Casey. I was looking back at my Masters and US Open previews, and I picked this clown first after Tiger and second after Tiger and Furyk, and he rewarded me with a T-20 and a missed cut, but I still can't drop him all the way, especially at the British where he finished seventh last year. He absolutely dominated the Euro Tour early, and still leads the Race to Dubai, but has faded in recent weeks. I expect being back in Europe will rejuvenate him.
10. Justin Leonard. This is a straight up hunch pick, which I can't really justify. He's had success at the British, but his win and his runner-up were both in the 1990s. Since then he's missed the cut as much as he's finished top twenty (three each) and he doesn't come in particularly hot, with two missed cuts in his last three tournaments. But I'm feelin' it!
And that's it. Some notable names are missing. Geoff Ogilvy, Zach Johnson, and Luke Donald are both garbage at the Open. Paddy is the two-time depending champion, but he's missed the cut in four of his last five events, and his game is just not in the right shape here again. I don't think Anthony Kim is ready just yet, and the wunderkind of the early season, Nick Watney, has fallen back to earth. Cink is still gay, and Els and Goosen are too far gone. One sleeper I've seen mentioned somewhere is Martin Kaymer, a commie who comes in hot, having won the last two Euro Tour events. Don't believe it. He doesn't have that kind of game.
- Finally, hold on to your butts people, the Sci Fi channel is having the marathon of all marathons on Saturday, July 25th, and I can't wait. Unfortunately, the Egyptian is getting married that day and I am an usher, so I can't exactly watch live, but the Tivo will be a crankin'. Check out the schedule:
8am - Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep
10am - Croc
Noon - Super Gator
2pm - Lake Placid 2
4pm - Spring Break Shark Attack (third best shark movie ever)
6pm - Deep Blue Sea
8pm - Malibu Shark Attack (World Premiere!)
10pm - Eye of the Beast (Dawson in a Squid movie)
I'm tivo'ing everything on that list except for Lake Placid 2 and Deep Blue Sea, which are super lame. Expect an influx of Live Movie Blogs in the coming weeks, as long as I can get Mrs. W to watch a few of these.
Also, Sci Fi renamed itself SyFy for some unfathomable reason. Can anyone explain this one? Cutesy for the sake of cutesy? I really hope somebody gets fired for this. This is even worse than the time Itchy ripped out Scratchy's spine and played it like a xylophone, but got two different notes from hitting the same rib.
That's it for now. I would expect to see a more indepth preview from Faldo tomorrow some time, and if we're really lucky maybe Super Sioux Fan will send in a new post.
I just don't get how something so far removed from real baseball can give such an advantage to a team in the quest to win the World Series. Seriously, if this rule was in place in '87 and '91 and the NL won the all-star game, we'd be sitting wondering if the Twins will ever win a World Series. I mean, I'm not exactly a huge fan of the random element they used to have but it's better than this - and better than giving home field advantage to the league that has a better record in interleague play, which I've also heard bandied about. That's also idiotic.
It's really simple. Home field advantage goes to the team with the better regular season record. That's how all the other leagues do it. Why? Because it makes a lot more sense to reward a team for a great 162-game season than it does to reward a team whose league won a stupid exhibition. And if you insist on keeping that dumb rule, then Gretchen Weiners has to stick up to Regina like that time she wore sweat pants to the lunch table. Throw Halladay three innings. Then throw Greinke three. Then go through the closers and end with Rivera. Bam, game. But they won't. It'll be one inning, one inning, one inning, and eventually either Tim Wakefield or Andrew Bailey will be in and it'll be tee-off time for the NL. Stupid.
What makes it even worse is that I actually get a little bit pumped up when they do all the fanfare before the game. They always give it a nice historical perspective, whether it's tonight's little St. Louis baseball mini-history or like the year they brought out Ted Williams and Willie Mays, it's a very nice touch and I enjoy it. Then the game starts and it's a big joke. Let's just move on to something else.
- I'm mainly writing tonight to give my half-assed British Open preview, much like my half-assed Masters and US Open previews, which didn't quite get the winners right. All that really means is that I am due. In the same tradition, I will give you my top ten (after Tiger) picks to win.
1. Steve Stricker. It's weird to pick a noted non-closer to win an event like the British, but it all seems to be in place for Stricker. Two wins in his last four events, including a win last week, and recent success at the Open, finishing 8th and 7th the last two years. No reason he shouldn't be right there at the end.
2. Ian Poulter. It's almost a certainty that Ian Poulter will be winning a major at some point, probably while wearing pink pants, and it makes a lot of sense that it could be this one. Poulter is a very solid Open player, topping off with a second place finish last year at Royal Birkdale, has been very solid in the other majors (31st, 20th, and 18th) and is having a good year.
3. Lee Westwood. Westwood isn't super, duper great at the Open, but he does have two top tens in his career and has made the cut the last three years, so he's not horrible either. He's familiar with links style golf, being a communist and all, and is getting hot at the right time, with a tie for 8th last week in the Scottish Open coming on the heels of a runner-up finish in the French Open.
4. Hunter Mahan. This guy is quietly playing some of the best golf of anybody right now, but at the same time is a bit under the radar since he hasn't actually picked up a victory. He has top 10s in his last three starts, has made the cut in every event he has played this season, and has top tens in both of this year's majors. He did miss the cut last year at the Open, which gives me slight pause, but last year was a rough one for him, and not only has he found his game again but two years ago when he was playing well he pulled a sixth place finish at Carnoustie.
5. Sergio Garcia. Usually this sexy son of a bitch would be my #1 pick after Tiger, but a slow and disappointing year so far has really left me scratching my head. Still, the spaniard is a wizard when it comes to the British Open, with six top 10s in his last eight attempts and he does seem to be getting his game figured out, notching a tie for tenth at the US Open and has played better across the pond than here in the States.
6. Henrik Stenson. This guy is another one who it feels like is just waiting to win a major, and could be set up to do it this week. He already won this year at the "fifth major", the Players Championship at Sawgrass, and has been in contention at pretty much every major recently, with three top tens in the last four majors. He's a cool customer, since like most Swedes he has no soul, so if he's in contention coming down the stretch he isn't likely to Van de Velde it up.
7. Rory McIlroy. It's weird to pick a kid this young to be a top contender at the Open, but he's just tough. This year his four toughest events have resulted in a Quarterfinal finish at the Match Play, a 20th place finish at both the WGC-CA and the Masters, and a tie for tenth at the US Open - clearly he's not intimidated. Add in the fact that he is ripping it up on the European Tour (fifth in the Race to Dubai), and it wouldn't surprise me to see him right in the thick of it on Sunday.
8. Jim Furyk. Boring? Predictable? How about we go with steady instead. Top 11 in five of his last six tournaments, made the cut in fourteen of his last fifteen majors, and two top fives in his last three Opens, with a tie for twelfth in the third. He did miss five straight cuts at the British from 2001-2005, which shows me that this kind of golf can swallow him up at times and keeps me from putting him any higher on my list, but I expect him to hang around and at least make a little noise.
9. Paul Casey. I was looking back at my Masters and US Open previews, and I picked this clown first after Tiger and second after Tiger and Furyk, and he rewarded me with a T-20 and a missed cut, but I still can't drop him all the way, especially at the British where he finished seventh last year. He absolutely dominated the Euro Tour early, and still leads the Race to Dubai, but has faded in recent weeks. I expect being back in Europe will rejuvenate him.
10. Justin Leonard. This is a straight up hunch pick, which I can't really justify. He's had success at the British, but his win and his runner-up were both in the 1990s. Since then he's missed the cut as much as he's finished top twenty (three each) and he doesn't come in particularly hot, with two missed cuts in his last three tournaments. But I'm feelin' it!
And that's it. Some notable names are missing. Geoff Ogilvy, Zach Johnson, and Luke Donald are both garbage at the Open. Paddy is the two-time depending champion, but he's missed the cut in four of his last five events, and his game is just not in the right shape here again. I don't think Anthony Kim is ready just yet, and the wunderkind of the early season, Nick Watney, has fallen back to earth. Cink is still gay, and Els and Goosen are too far gone. One sleeper I've seen mentioned somewhere is Martin Kaymer, a commie who comes in hot, having won the last two Euro Tour events. Don't believe it. He doesn't have that kind of game.
- Finally, hold on to your butts people, the Sci Fi channel is having the marathon of all marathons on Saturday, July 25th, and I can't wait. Unfortunately, the Egyptian is getting married that day and I am an usher, so I can't exactly watch live, but the Tivo will be a crankin'. Check out the schedule:
8am - Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep
10am - Croc
Noon - Super Gator
2pm - Lake Placid 2
4pm - Spring Break Shark Attack (third best shark movie ever)
6pm - Deep Blue Sea
8pm - Malibu Shark Attack (World Premiere!)
10pm - Eye of the Beast (Dawson in a Squid movie)
I'm tivo'ing everything on that list except for Lake Placid 2 and Deep Blue Sea, which are super lame. Expect an influx of Live Movie Blogs in the coming weeks, as long as I can get Mrs. W to watch a few of these.
Also, Sci Fi renamed itself SyFy for some unfathomable reason. Can anyone explain this one? Cutesy for the sake of cutesy? I really hope somebody gets fired for this. This is even worse than the time Itchy ripped out Scratchy's spine and played it like a xylophone, but got two different notes from hitting the same rib.
That's it for now. I would expect to see a more indepth preview from Faldo tomorrow some time, and if we're really lucky maybe Super Sioux Fan will send in a new post.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Thursday Things (McLouth, Ostertag, Babies, Elaine Benes, Kobe, Idiots)
Just finished up a nice meal on the grill (steaks, corn-on-the-cob, baked beans), WonderbabyTM is in bed, and I'm kicking back with a couple of Red Stripes, ready to watch the NBA Finals (for as long as Mrs. W will let me get away with it) and toss up a few observations and what not.
- My all-star ballot:
AMERICAN
C Joe Mauer
1b Justin Morneau
2b Ian Kinsler
3b Evan Longoria
ss Jason Bartlett (this one stings a bit)
of Adam Jones
of Nelson Cruz
of Carl Crawford
NATIONAL
c Brian McCann
1b Albert Pujols
2b Chase Utley
3b Ryan Zimmerman
ss Miguel Tejada
of Raul Ibanez
of Justin Upton
of Carlos Beltran
And I don't have a single one of these guys on either of my fantasy teams. Yippee. God I suck.
- Since we're talking about baseball here, let's talk about this Nate McLouth trade and how little of it I really understand. In case you missed it, the perpetually financially strapped and non-competitive Pittsburgh Pirates traded their best player, third-year outfielder Nate McLouth, to the Braves for three prospects. Normally you'd just say this is a case of the have-nots trading to the haves and trying to reload. But this is gets curiouser and curiouser the more you look at it.
First off, McLouth is not an old all-star on his last legs. He's just 27, and is in just his third season. Last year he hit .276/.356/.497 (an OPS+ of 126, equivalent to Kubel so far this year) with 26 homers, 23 steals, and a league leading 46 doubles. He's putting up very similar numbers again this year, so he doesn't look like a one-year wonder.
Even more, he's not that expensive. McLouth is on the hook for the next 3 years at just $13 million after signing an extension with the Pirates in February. Basically the Pirates agreed to pay him that money in February, and then after he played exactly as expected, they traded him away just 3.5 months later. And he's only scheduled to make $2 million this year (then $4.5 and $6.5) so it's not like there was a lot of urgency to get that money off the books. Why now? Why not wait until the trade deadline when team's are ready to pay higher premiums for players? Or next year? It makes zero sense.
Lastly, the package the Pirates got back was subpar, and described by the Pirates GM himself as "Three players who could become above average players someday." Not exactly glowing praise. They got back outfielder Gorkys Hernandez and pitchers Charlie Morton and Jeff Locke. Hernandez is the "jewel" here the same way Bernard Berrian is the "jewel" of the Vikings' wideouts - more "meh" than anything else. He's a no power, speedy, excellent defender with zero batting eye (sounds familiar) who was ranked the #8 prospect in the Braves system, with Locke coming in at #10 and Morton unranked in the top 40, and in his fifteen starts with the Braves last year he put up numbers nearly identical to Liriano so far this season, but without the strikeouts and might very well be a classic AAAA player.
Essentially, the Pirates traded a young, talented, cheap player for a handful of mediocre two years before he would be a financial issue. Seriously, it looks like the Pirates could have the budget of the Yankees and still suck. Not even Bill Smith is this shitty.
- You know who isn't shitty? My guys Denard Span and Jason Kubel combined for three home runs and seven rbi today to help kick the crap out of Cleveland 11-3. Seriously, those two are the best players on the team by far. Canucks and Roid-heads are ineligible.
- You know what I love about Mrs. W? Every time we watch basketball together when she sees a big dumb white guy she always asks, "Oh, is that their Ostertag?" She knows almost nothing about basketball, but always remembers that. I laugh every time. (This time it was Gasol. I don't think he qualifies. Dumb enough and ugly enough, but slightly too skilled).
- Ha Ha! Kobe missed. Jackass.
- Twice!
- Jameer Nelson is back. There's a guy I never thought would become much of an NBA player, but once again my eye for talent is surpassed only by Bogart, he of the Troy Williamson worship. Downside to Nelson back is we'll get less Skip 2 My Lou.
- Speaking of Bogart, I just poured myself a Cranberry & Vodka (with Lime) in honor of Wonderbaby's future husband's birth. That's right, little Baby Bogart arrived yesterday in Chicago, weighing in at 8 lbs. and 6 oz, ready to start his journey towards eventually becoming my (rich) son-in-law. Since Wonder Woman once had a little thing with Superman, I have decided that Baby Bogart will henceforth also be known as, SuperbabyTM.
- Uh oh, looks like Lamar Odom decided to actually try tonight. Magic in trouble (even though they're winning).
- Ok, so there's a trailer for a romantic comedy starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. Normally romantic comedies are the suck, and Sandra Bullock is really annoying, but Ryan Reynolds is the freakin' man and makes anything good - including that other romantic comedy he was in with that chick from Wedding Crashers. So do I let Mama W drag me to it or not? Decisions, decisions.
- FYI - last night at 2am my Tivo recorded a movie called "Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy." I don't know when I'll get to it, but I'll get to it.
- Tobey McGuire is there!! Sweet!!! And he's sitting with Kevin Connolly!!! The star power is amazing!!! (NOTE: I have no idea who Kevin Connolly is)
- Hedo Turkoglu was the 16th overall pick the year he came out? I guess that's about right. Actually, now that I look it up, he was a top 10 player from that draft, along with Kenyon Martin, Jamaal Magloire, Michael Redd, Jamal Crawford, Mike Miller, Quentin Richardson, Joel Pryzbilla, Eduardo Najera, and Eddie House. Top ten picks Stromile Swift, Marcus Fizer, Darius Miles, and DerMarr Johnson sure worked out well.
- Did you know Kobe Bryant likes to have buttsecks with Pau Gasol? I'm not kidding. I've seen it.
- I've been watching a lot of "The New Adventures of Old Christine" lately. I think I'm falling in love with Elaine Benes (no relation to Andy. or Alan) all over again.
- NOTE: Courtney Lee, as much as I liked him at Western Kentucky, cannot guard Kobe Bryant, aka The Rapisttm. By the way, I'd bet anything Bogart is a huge Kobe fan. Jesus, I really hope SuperBabyTM doesn't get Bogart's eye for talent. I don't think WonderBabyTM could handle that. I know I couldn't. If you take idiocy to a second generation, it's like idiocy2.
- 18 point Laker lead. This shit got lame faster than Jumper. Dwight Howard is the Al Nolen of centers, and they have no chance at stopping Kobe. This finals is going to suck, and my least favorite player ever is going to win another ring, except this one without Shaq which will cause morons like the Sports Guy to say things like, "Kobe is now the third best shooting guard in the history of the NBA." God that guy sucks now. Sports Guy, I mean, not Kobe. Kobe is like the third best guard in NBA history.
- Remember Matt Wieters? The next Joe Mauer, but with power (so like Mauer now that he is on roids)? He's really made a big splash since being called up on May 29th. A stellar 7-21 with five strikeouts and one walk. I know, small sample size and actually his overall stat profile is fine, but I like to make snap judgements. It's easier. That's probably why most people think I'm racist and sexist, but I just think it saves time. And I'm usually right. If not, oh well, I'm sure the jury will acquit.
- Randy Johnson got his 300th win today, which has set off an obnoxious spurt of morons with columns like, "Last 300-game winner ever" and "The End of the 300-win club?" Relax, idiots. There will always be 300 game winners. You realize there are only 24 people who have won 300 games? And four have them have done it in years that end begin with the number 2. That's one-sixth. That's a disproportionate amount based on how long baseball has existed. So settle down, idiots.
- My all-star ballot:
AMERICAN
C Joe Mauer
1b Justin Morneau
2b Ian Kinsler
3b Evan Longoria
ss Jason Bartlett (this one stings a bit)
of Adam Jones
of Nelson Cruz
of Carl Crawford
NATIONAL
c Brian McCann
1b Albert Pujols
2b Chase Utley
3b Ryan Zimmerman
ss Miguel Tejada
of Raul Ibanez
of Justin Upton
of Carlos Beltran
And I don't have a single one of these guys on either of my fantasy teams. Yippee. God I suck.
- Since we're talking about baseball here, let's talk about this Nate McLouth trade and how little of it I really understand. In case you missed it, the perpetually financially strapped and non-competitive Pittsburgh Pirates traded their best player, third-year outfielder Nate McLouth, to the Braves for three prospects. Normally you'd just say this is a case of the have-nots trading to the haves and trying to reload. But this is gets curiouser and curiouser the more you look at it.
First off, McLouth is not an old all-star on his last legs. He's just 27, and is in just his third season. Last year he hit .276/.356/.497 (an OPS+ of 126, equivalent to Kubel so far this year) with 26 homers, 23 steals, and a league leading 46 doubles. He's putting up very similar numbers again this year, so he doesn't look like a one-year wonder.
Even more, he's not that expensive. McLouth is on the hook for the next 3 years at just $13 million after signing an extension with the Pirates in February. Basically the Pirates agreed to pay him that money in February, and then after he played exactly as expected, they traded him away just 3.5 months later. And he's only scheduled to make $2 million this year (then $4.5 and $6.5) so it's not like there was a lot of urgency to get that money off the books. Why now? Why not wait until the trade deadline when team's are ready to pay higher premiums for players? Or next year? It makes zero sense.
Lastly, the package the Pirates got back was subpar, and described by the Pirates GM himself as "Three players who could become above average players someday." Not exactly glowing praise. They got back outfielder Gorkys Hernandez and pitchers Charlie Morton and Jeff Locke. Hernandez is the "jewel" here the same way Bernard Berrian is the "jewel" of the Vikings' wideouts - more "meh" than anything else. He's a no power, speedy, excellent defender with zero batting eye (sounds familiar) who was ranked the #8 prospect in the Braves system, with Locke coming in at #10 and Morton unranked in the top 40, and in his fifteen starts with the Braves last year he put up numbers nearly identical to Liriano so far this season, but without the strikeouts and might very well be a classic AAAA player.
Essentially, the Pirates traded a young, talented, cheap player for a handful of mediocre two years before he would be a financial issue. Seriously, it looks like the Pirates could have the budget of the Yankees and still suck. Not even Bill Smith is this shitty.
- You know who isn't shitty? My guys Denard Span and Jason Kubel combined for three home runs and seven rbi today to help kick the crap out of Cleveland 11-3. Seriously, those two are the best players on the team by far. Canucks and Roid-heads are ineligible.
- You know what I love about Mrs. W? Every time we watch basketball together when she sees a big dumb white guy she always asks, "Oh, is that their Ostertag?" She knows almost nothing about basketball, but always remembers that. I laugh every time. (This time it was Gasol. I don't think he qualifies. Dumb enough and ugly enough, but slightly too skilled).
- Ha Ha! Kobe missed. Jackass.
- Twice!
- Jameer Nelson is back. There's a guy I never thought would become much of an NBA player, but once again my eye for talent is surpassed only by Bogart, he of the Troy Williamson worship. Downside to Nelson back is we'll get less Skip 2 My Lou.
- Speaking of Bogart, I just poured myself a Cranberry & Vodka (with Lime) in honor of Wonderbaby's future husband's birth. That's right, little Baby Bogart arrived yesterday in Chicago, weighing in at 8 lbs. and 6 oz, ready to start his journey towards eventually becoming my (rich) son-in-law. Since Wonder Woman once had a little thing with Superman, I have decided that Baby Bogart will henceforth also be known as, SuperbabyTM.
- Uh oh, looks like Lamar Odom decided to actually try tonight. Magic in trouble (even though they're winning).
- Ok, so there's a trailer for a romantic comedy starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. Normally romantic comedies are the suck, and Sandra Bullock is really annoying, but Ryan Reynolds is the freakin' man and makes anything good - including that other romantic comedy he was in with that chick from Wedding Crashers. So do I let Mama W drag me to it or not? Decisions, decisions.
- FYI - last night at 2am my Tivo recorded a movie called "Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy." I don't know when I'll get to it, but I'll get to it.
- Tobey McGuire is there!! Sweet!!! And he's sitting with Kevin Connolly!!! The star power is amazing!!! (NOTE: I have no idea who Kevin Connolly is)
- Hedo Turkoglu was the 16th overall pick the year he came out? I guess that's about right. Actually, now that I look it up, he was a top 10 player from that draft, along with Kenyon Martin, Jamaal Magloire, Michael Redd, Jamal Crawford, Mike Miller, Quentin Richardson, Joel Pryzbilla, Eduardo Najera, and Eddie House. Top ten picks Stromile Swift, Marcus Fizer, Darius Miles, and DerMarr Johnson sure worked out well.
- Did you know Kobe Bryant likes to have buttsecks with Pau Gasol? I'm not kidding. I've seen it.
- I've been watching a lot of "The New Adventures of Old Christine" lately. I think I'm falling in love with Elaine Benes (no relation to Andy. or Alan) all over again.
- NOTE: Courtney Lee, as much as I liked him at Western Kentucky, cannot guard Kobe Bryant, aka The Rapisttm. By the way, I'd bet anything Bogart is a huge Kobe fan. Jesus, I really hope SuperBabyTM doesn't get Bogart's eye for talent. I don't think WonderBabyTM could handle that. I know I couldn't. If you take idiocy to a second generation, it's like idiocy2.
- 18 point Laker lead. This shit got lame faster than Jumper. Dwight Howard is the Al Nolen of centers, and they have no chance at stopping Kobe. This finals is going to suck, and my least favorite player ever is going to win another ring, except this one without Shaq which will cause morons like the Sports Guy to say things like, "Kobe is now the third best shooting guard in the history of the NBA." God that guy sucks now. Sports Guy, I mean, not Kobe. Kobe is like the third best guard in NBA history.
- Remember Matt Wieters? The next Joe Mauer, but with power (so like Mauer now that he is on roids)? He's really made a big splash since being called up on May 29th. A stellar 7-21 with five strikeouts and one walk. I know, small sample size and actually his overall stat profile is fine, but I like to make snap judgements. It's easier. That's probably why most people think I'm racist and sexist, but I just think it saves time. And I'm usually right. If not, oh well, I'm sure the jury will acquit.
- Randy Johnson got his 300th win today, which has set off an obnoxious spurt of morons with columns like, "Last 300-game winner ever" and "The End of the 300-win club?" Relax, idiots. There will always be 300 game winners. You realize there are only 24 people who have won 300 games? And four have them have done it in years that end begin with the number 2. That's one-sixth. That's a disproportionate amount based on how long baseball has existed. So settle down, idiots.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Hooray for All Stars
I'm holding a sleeping baby, so who knows how long this will last, but here goes:
- ok, the allstar game is mostly retarded, but the stuff with the legends is pretty cool. The ovation for Willie Mays gave me chills, and it was nice to see two of my favorites of all-time, Brooks Robinson and Rod Carew are still alive.
- One batter in and this thing is already an abortion of announcing. Soo far we've heard that Cliff Lee has meant more over his career to the Indians than Grady Sizemore and the fans definitely deserve to be allowed to vote in the All-Star starters because they managed to get Hanley Ramirez right. This should be fun.
- 1-2-3 with two Ks for Cliff Lee, probably because Mauer is catching. I don't get this whole Cliff Lee thing.
- Think when Hamilton gets up we'll get rehash #483 of "The Josh Hamilton Story?"
- Jeter with a squibby infield hit, which pretty much locks up MVP for him. And a stolen base, interrupting Buck in mid-Hamilton rehash. Get out the engraving gun or whatever the hell they use.
- I knew that was a fake clip, I knew it.
- Matt Holliday's up, and I heard today he's available for trade. Someone get Billy Smith on the horn, F Beltre,
- So I'm going to be in NJ next week for two nights, but in a different place than the usual and just 12 miles from Yankee Stadium. The Twins will be in town as well, so I went ahead and bought myself a ticket for next Tuesday evening. I just have to figure out how to get there. Do I drive myself and brave the traffic and parking, or do I take the subway, which would normally be my choice but it takes a really roundabout way where I'd be starting from and will take a minimum of an hour+ each way. Plus, my only two options to get back after 10pm are 10:30 and 12:53. Dumb. Although I have a feeling I'm going to have to watch Livan, which should make for an early exit.
- Given that Milton Bradley is a known hothead, does it make any sense that he's one of the most disciplined and patient hitters in the league? And also shocking, is that he's always been this way. He didn't settle down and then learn discipline, he's always has been. So weird.
- Snacks pointed out to me that the Twins have beaten both All-Star starters this season. Interesting fact. Wonder how often that's happened. Mauer walks. Boring.
- McCarver brings up how Mariano only throws one pitch, which simply isn't true. Sure, the last two seasons he's thrown 70-80% cutters, but in his career prior to that he was pretty much 50/50 between the cutter and regular fastball. I have no idea where this talk about one pitch came from, but it seems it has always been there. I'll go ahead and guess some idiotic journalist mentioned it, and all the other idiotic journalists went with it as gospel - and thus it became so.
- Hamilton up again and despite this opening, "Hamilton's story has been talked about a lot recently..." he goes ahead and reshashes the story for the 491st time.
- I have kind of a crush on Roy Halladay. Did you know his nickname is "Doc." Narf narf. Good movie though. And it appears my "Blue Jays will make the playoffs" call may have been incorrect. Lot of season left though.
- I am very excited for Pineapple Express
- Josh Hamilton moves from center to left. Left is closer to the bleachers. The bleachers contain New Yorkers. New York is a cesspool of crime. Doing drugs is a crime. Crack is a drug. Will our hero be able to resist the temptation? Will Jesus show up and pimp slap the crack pipe out of his mouth in time? Will Josh Hamilton be the next Len Bias (kind of)? Stay tuned.
- Holliday home run as his price goes up. Thanks for not snagging him already Smith. You fail. Again.
- If you're curious, I have no money on the game this year. Because I forgot. But I would have taken the NL at +130 (AL was -150).
- Mauer now 1-1 with a walk after an infield hit. MVP?
- Jeter gets a standing ovation before he even hits. Probably for being a queer. And with two on he taps back to the pitcher for the third out. You know who probably gets a hit there? Nick Punto. I'm just sayin'.
- Great, Lincecum brought to the hospital earlier today with flu-like symptoms. He's a big key to our fantasy team. We're now thisclose to picking up Scott Baker the Touchdown Maker.
- Justin Ducksharer just getting knocked around. That will teach guys I've barely heard of to play in all-star games. Also Jeter pulled in mid-inning so he can get a standing ovation. Jesus christ Francona, be a man. Don't pander to the idiotic Yankee fans. If anything, you should trot out to the field and drop a deuce on the NY logo, that's what a real man would do. Also, I think Jeter just asked Kevin Kennedy for some butt sex. And also I'm realizing I hate the Yankees more than the Red Sox again.
- If you wanted more Josh Hamilton talk, you're in luck. Jesus willed that he get a hit, so he did, and now there's more gushing. Not a dry seat in that announcing booth when he's on camera.
- Just interviewed Matt Holliday and he doesn't bend the brim of his hat. ABORT TRADE. REPEAT. ABORT TRADE.
- It still just stuns me that this game counts for anything other than pride.
- Nathan goes 1-2-3. It's amazing that he can shut down three all-stars without breaking a sweat, but struggles half the time he pitches to the Royals. Speaking of the Royals, who is their all-star? Soria? It has to be doesn't it? I always thought DeJesus would be better, being that he's "Of Jesus" and all.
- I've been thinking about it further, and I'm pretty sure Derek Jeters is one of them gays. Think about it: Single and can't settle down. Thin. Pretty boy. Afraid to get dirty. Can't hit. Has gay sex. Can't field. Overrated at baseball but super famous due to "charisma." Endorses Gay-tor-AID(s). It's obvious once you think about it.
- Ok seriously, who is Ryan Ludwick? Is this a joke?
- Base knock for Morneau - all Twins looking very good thus far.
- Two run shot for JD Drew, scoring Morneau and tying the game. Boston fans don't deserve Drew. And Edinson Volquez should put his hat on straight. And STAY OFF MY LAWN.
- It seems all-star catchers have NO shot at throwing out all-star players, ever. Not even sixty year old shortstops like Miguel Tejada who gets to third on Navarro's error, then scores on a sac fly because Carlos Quentin has a noodle-arm. Papelboner gives up the lead, which should make the NYC crowd very happy.
- Yep, I loves me some Evan Longoria. What I don't love is crappy exhibition games that last past 11pm. I'm old and I needs me sleep. Now that Morneau blows his chance to be a hero, I'm going to call this one a night.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
