Saturday, April 3, 2010

National SemiFinal #2

I'm still basking in the glow of the world's greatest fantasy baseball draft, but I'm also basking in sitting in my bed with a Michelob Golden Draft Light 12 oz. can and watching the basketball game on a 19 inch television and since I'm here I see no reason why I should hide my most intimate thoughts with you, dear friend.  Keep in mind that I have made my biggest bet ever on this game, a 15-unit wager on WVU +2, so I care more than I probably should.  I also know that Snacks is "All in" on West Virginia.  I don't know how much money that actually encompasses after the Michigan State loss left him a broken man who stopped watching at the ten minute mark, but at least he's on my side.  I also know that Bogart has 5 units on WVU scoring first.  Let's get to it.

20:00 - Oh, I also have 5-to-win-15 that the first basket of the game is a 3-pointer.  Had the same bet in the first game and it hit, so if it hit here it would just be gravy.

20:00 - I hate Duke so much.  Other than this chick, I mean;
20:00 - Stay with me now, perv.  Eyes up top.

20:00 - You realize the Gophers beat Butler, right?

20:00 - I just read something where the guy was saying that Butler winning is terrible for CBS.  What?  That's the best thing that could have happened.  The only people who care about Michigan State are their own fans, die-hard college hoop junkies who were going to watch anyway, and gamblers.  Causal fans are going to be interested in the Butler story.  Hell, I told Mrs. W about Butler and even she's interested.  And I can tell you this month, like every March, she is so sick of college basketball right now she's probably strongly considered taking a croquet mallet to my cubes.  And yet, she perked up a bit when I told her about Butler and all the blah blah crap.  So, in conclusion, that guy who wrote that thing is an idiot.

20:00 - I hate it when they don't tell you the major of the players when they do the intros.  I bet at least 4 out of 5 WVU starters are majoring in African American Studies and the other guy is in Communication.  And what do the Dukies major in?  Like, is Singler majoring in Bio-Chem and Nolan Smith in Genetic Engineering?  Or are they in Communication too?  I seriously want to know this.  Someone go look it up.

20:00 - AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGgghhhhhhhhhh!  Sorry, I thought there was a gigantic female chicken running lose.  It was just Singler.  My bad.

19:49 - 5 second call on Mazzulla to open the game.  They already miss Bryant.

19:12 - WVU with a blocked shot on Singler and a offensive rebound already in the first minute.  They're going to athletic Duke to death. 

18:54 - And Mazzulla throws his layup attempt over the backboard.  It might be time to sit him down for a few minutes, ask him why exactly he's attempting to take over the game when he averages like 6 points per game.

18:10 - Easy lay-up for Wellington Smith to tie the game at 2.  If Huggins doesn't melt down WVU could end up running away with this, they look far better than Duke.  And there's a third blocked shot by the Mountaineers.  This is like that scene in Rushmore where Bill Murray rejects that dumb kids shot.

16:39 - Well somehow Duke is up 7-4 after a Scheyer three.  And since I know you're wondering, no, Scheyer didn't close his mouth at any point, and he's seriously threatening Tyler Hansbrough's NCAA record streaking of never ever closing his mouth. 

15:12 - Between this Robin Hood movie and Clash of the Titans I am as amped for movies as I have ever been.  I think the only times I've been more exited were when Lord of the Rings were coming out (happy about the result), the Star Wars prequels (so-so), and Jurassic Park 3 (kill me in the neck).

14:41 - Shot clock violation on Duke for being gay.  Time for WVU to get after it.  And there you go, they go inside and get a foul.  Kevin Jones misses both, of course, but at least they got the ball inside.

13:57 - Jesus Duke is just shredding the WVU defense at this point.  They can't stop penetration (like your mom) and can't seem to figure out a high pick-and-roll.  This does not bode well.

13:26 - At least Singler is still shooting like that guy at the Y who sucks but thinks he's good so he always shoots no matter what even though he hasn't hit a shot in a month.  And as I say that WVU throws up an airball from 15.  You can tell they're feeling a lot more pressure than the Dukies right now, even though the pressure should be the other way around.  Because all of the media really want to give the Duke players handies if they win, and the Duke players really want handies, so that's why.  Feel free to re-arrange that sentence into something more coherent.

12:30 - That perimeter handoff is not supposed to result in any easy layup for Duke.  Everybody runs that play, and unless you are the Gophers and you're playing Wisconsin it doesn't ever work.  Until tonight.  It's only 13-9 Duke but I think this one is over, and I'm going to have to root for freaking Butler.

11:05 - And the big giant chicken hits a three.  18-11 Duke.  The Blue Devils are hitting everything, and it's not luck, it's just piss poor defense.  Huggy Bear needs to do something here (he called timeout), but I think we're in trouble folks.  Huggins isn't exactly what I consider a great good mediocre adequate fair in-game coach.  God I hate Duke.  More like Puke, am i right?

10:55 - You know one thing I hate about summer?  Those people who are a little too into grilling, you know what I mean?

7:50 - A second three of the game for WVU's Flowers and it's 23-21 Duke.  Flower si s aguy who was something like 6-20 from three on the season, but that makes both Duke and Kentucky who basically played defense on him by backing off in the lane and daring him to shoot, and he hit a huge one against Kentucky and like I said that's now two tonight.  I don't get it.  He's 6-20, not 0-0.  It's obviously not a huge weapon of his, but he's not worthless out there as if he was Al Nolen or something either.

6:16 - This is the worst game I've seen WVU play all year.  Poor defense, tentative offense, just sick.  Duke now up 31-21, and Huggins is barking at his players which means this one is done.  Almost not even worth watching.  I'm going to try to hedge my bet a bit with a live bet on Duke.

5:47 - God Mazzulla is basically Al Nolen without the defense.  He can drive, but he just jump stops and picks up his dribble with no idea what he's doing.  And then Duke misses, offensive rebounds, and hits a three.  Ugh.  Can't this at least be entertaining?  37-24 Duke. 

3:44 - Alright let's move on to 2011.  I'm predicting Michigan State to win it all.  And speaking of winning it all, have you heard about me and Snake's fantasy baseball team?  Wow, just crazy good.  Want to hear our starting pitching staff?  Greinke, Hamels, Billingsley, Tommy Hanson, and Matt Garza.  Wow.  And waiting in the wings we have have Strasburg, Homer Bailey, and Madison Bumgarner.  Yeah, we're loaded.

3:40 - 5 seconds on Duke trying to inbound.  This is the break we need.  LET'S GO MOUNTAINEERS.

3:22 - Ebanks with a nice move for two, 37-28 Duke.  I feel a run coming except then instead Nolan Smith found a wide open layup.  I can't get over this suddenly shitty WVU defense.  It's just awful.  Duke currently shooting 59%.  Ridiculous. 

2:54 - Ebanks with another nice move and a three-point play.  He's single-handedly keeping this from being a blowout.  Where the hell is Butler?  1-4 for two points.  Nice job assface.  You're telling me he can't score on Lance freaking Thomas?  Disgusting.

0:47 - Christ, Zoubek must have 10 rebounds already.  I have no idea what is going on.  This West Virginia team is not the same team I saw all year and bet on.  Huggins you killed yet another talented team somehow.  This guy is a bigger choker than Darius Washington.

0:00 - 39-31 Duke at half.  I'm no so much worried about the score, but the defense of WVU is just crap right now.  CRAP I SAY!!!

20:00 - Ok I'm back.  Took a short break there to watch an episode of the Office ("Frame Toby", hysterical) and grab a couple of Stroh's Lights out of the fridge.  Yep, Stroh's Lights.  WVU doesn't deserve better right now.

19:49 - Da'Sean Butler and Nolan Smith are basically complete opposites of each other right now. 

19"17 - Mazzulla hits from 17.  I guess he's not like Nolen after all.

18:59 - Wide open jumper for Singler.  And I mean WIDE open.  This is baffling.

17:27 - I can't quite give up on WVU as Wellington hits a three to make it 36-43, but they need to get their defensive scheme figured out in a hurry because Duke is one short run away from blowing them out.

16:04 - Duke just not missing.  This is like the opposite of watching Trajan Langdon in a Final Four.  WVU hanging in, but right now if feels like when the Gophers played Xavier and you knew they were basically just holding on for dear life and any moment they were going to be out of it.  WVU just hanging on by a thread.

15:21 - Another open Sheyer three wins me my OVER 14 threes for the game bet, but that is pretty meaningless considering I have 15 units on WVU.  This sucks.

13:43 - Another Duke layup and it's 51-42.  This is like watching the Gophers play defense.  I probably won't post anything else.  Game over.  I suck.

12:41 - Huggins completely melting down and just started screaming at Flowers.  If it wasn't over already (it was) it's over now.  Guy is really not a very good coach.  I have no idea why I was backing him so hard.  Pretty sure it was nothing but anti-Duke bias coming through. 

11:44 - Looks like Nolan Smith took a nice shot to the nads.  Of course it would happen to the only duke dick that I don't hate.  I would pay good money for somebody to take a shot at Singler's giblets.

11:44 - Technical on Duke for hanging on the rim after dunking back a miss.  Butler shoots the free-throws and makes both, which is one more field goal than he has on the night.  That should tell you what kind of night it is.

10:35 - I just took the Yankees to win tomorrow night for a unit, just to make me feel better. 

10:02 - I'm sad.

8:59 - I'm almost positive Huggins is trying to make out with Da'Sean Butler who is down after some kind of knee injury.  This probably actually a good coach/player moment but it looks really creepy on TV.  Also Duke is up 63-48 and I'm guessing with Butler now out and being carried off that takes whatever energy/motivation WVU might have had left and kills it.  Duke's going to win by 25.

6:37 - It upsets me greatly that Duke is going to win the National Championship.

0:00 - Well that ended up being pretty boring.  At least they hit the over.  I can't believe I'm going to be rooting for Butler.

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