It's true. I just got home for the bar - one of the first times I've been able to go out since WonderbabyTM arrived. Holla. - and I walk into a completely weird situation with Ozzie Guillen pulling his team off the field because he's deathly afraid of hats. It's like that one dude in the Bond movies - Oddjob - who could throw his hat and kill dudes. I think Ozzie thought he was in the stands. I don't know who is more embarrassing, Gardy for getting run (again) and kicking his hat like a child, Ozzie for getting into an argument with drunk bald guy sitting behind the dugout, or the Minnesota fans HOLY CRAP JASON KUBEL IS SO AWESOME SUCK IT MORONS!!!
- Anyway, that whole thing was embarrassing, especially for Octavio Dotel. Remember when he was good? Seriously, you don't remember but in 2002 he pitched 97 innings with a 0.87 WHIP and in 2003 87 innings at 0.97 for Houston. Then he started sucking.
- What do you think Gardy's emotional age is? 8? 12? I'm open to whatever.
- Is there a worse eighth inning guy in baseball than Matt Guerrier? God this dude pisses me off so much. And why couldn't the Twins have picked up a reliever? Or a second basemen? Or anything. Ever. When was the last deadline deal where they actually picked somebody up? John Smiley? Seriously. Was that even a deadline deal? I don't remember. All I know is they should have picked up somebody for something. Also, FYI, I wrote that Guerrier thing before the inning even started, and now he's given up two runs after two batters. I think Nathan needs to be more Rollie Fingersie, and work two inning saves all the time. Also I'm drunk. Go me.
- Want a fearless football prediction? Andre Johnson is going to GO OFF. Like I mean actually stay healthy. Number 1 receiver in fantasy football. Write it down.
- That was pretty much the worst call ever on the Span not hit by pitch.
- For the love of god, stop bunting. Just stop. I almost hate this team.
- Geez, it's like Torii Hunter is out there. Get it, cuz the guy dove and missed the ball. Like that one time in the playoffs when Torii did that? Remember?
- I'm drunk and tired. If the Twins don't win, it's your fault.