Week in Review - 1/21/2013

I really have no idea why I stopped doing these posts.  They're fairly easy, since I can write parts of them during the week, they cover all sports for an entire week period, and they give you, the idiot reader, something to depend on knowing this post will be here every Monday morning.  I'm going to do my best to get back on this and start having the Monday morning Week in Review's again.  Or your money back.  And I'm going to start with Lance Armstrong.

Ha ha just kidding.  I don't care. 

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Joe Flacco.  As much as I hate to give credit when it's due, I'm going to have to in Flacco's case because he had a great game getting the Ravens to the Super Bowl and outplayed Tom Brady to do it.  He seems to have developed a couple interesting skills to go with one of the strongest arms in the league - he can pick apart a defense underneath using his backs and TEs, and he has that over the shoulder throw to Boldin in the end zone down cold.  Both of his touchdown throws to Boldin were on that same play, and more than half his completions were to backs or tight ends, and then he can cut loose with that big arm to Torrey Smith when needed.  It will be kind of interesting to see how he adjusts in the red zone when the 49ers inevitably put a safety on top of Boldin when they get close.  I also just realized this is going to be a Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh Super Bowl and we're going to have to hear that over and over and over again.  Oh god, and also Ray Lewis.  And I have a feeling Colin Kaepernick is going to get way too much press, too.  God I am suddenly remembering how much I hate the 2 weeks leading up to the Super Bowl.  Don't they have some kind of 2-week coma drug?  I know the wife and kids probably wouldn't be down for me going in that direction, but I'm not sure I have a choice.  Not my fault.

2.  Washington Nationals.  In a baseball hot stove league that's been characterized by teams "going for it in their window" more than any other I can remember (Baltimore Orioles exempted, for some reason) the Nats just made another move that put them in the Dodgers/Blue Jays tier for "going for it" signing closer Rafael Soriano to a two year, $28 million deal with an option that automatically vests if he finishes 120 combined games in the two years.  That now gives the Nationals a bullpen of Tyler Clippard in the 7th, Drew Storen in the 8th, and Soriano in the 9th, and that's in front of a rotation of Stephen Strasburg/Gio Gonzalez/Jordan Zimmermann/Dan Haren/Ross Detwiler.  Their also loaded with a young and talented lineup with only one bad contract (Jayson Werth), Wilson Ramos will be back at catcher, they traded for Denard Span to fill their only real lineup leak, and resigned Adam LaRoche to a reasonable contract which gives them an excellent trade chip (Michael Morse, now a back-up who was just traded to Seattle in a three-way deal that brought them a couple decent prospects because lord knows they don't have enough) all at the same time.  Yes, paying $14 million to a reliever is too much especially when you have to give up a first round pick to do it, but I'm a big fan of this "going for it" thing and I'd say they're in pretty decent shape.  At least until they shutdown Strasburg after 190 innings this year because, you know, you can never be too careful.

3.  Butler Bulldogs.  I don't know if it's Brad Stevens or what (NOTE: it's probably Brad Stevens) but Butler just keeps on going.  When they made those back-to-back NCAA Championship games you kind of figured like, ok he found a few diamonds in the rough in Gordon Hayward, Shelvin Mack, and Matt Howard (really rough, in his case) and Stevens got them to perfectly come together for a magical run (or two) and then they'd go back to being Butler.  When they missed the NCAA Tournament (made the CBI) last season everything looked confirmed.  But now?  First Stevens gets Rotnei Clarke, and ultra-experienced deadeye shooter who fits Butler's system perfectly, to come to Indy, joining a couple of decent players, and you figure Butler would probably be decent.  Little did you know Clarke was going to play out of his mind and a couple promising youngsters would suddenly blossom into double-digit scorers.  Then Clarke gets hurt against Richmond and you'd think Butler would slide, but they had no issue finishing up Richmond, and then played a really, really good Gonzaga team and did this:

I hate teams that are always good because I'm so unfamiliar with it.  It's like an Amish who was dropped in Dubai.

4. Florida Gators.  For my money, there are six teams (seven if you count my super sleeper VCU) who could potentially win the NCAA Championship this year - Louisville, Syracuse, Michigan, Indiana, Duke, and the sixth is Florida.  For some reason they're only ranked 10th.  Why?  Because they have two losses, although those happen to be at Arizona (a one-loss team) in a game Florida controlled for 38 minutes before letting it slip away, and against a good Kansas State in Kansas City.  Look at their recent results.  After a week of dominating fools they've now won their four SEC games by 33 (vs. Georgia), 22 (@ LSU), 21 (@ Texas A&M), and 31 (vs. Missouri).  I know Mizzou is in kind of a tailspin right now with Bowers hurt and Dixon having been kicked off the team, but beating that team by 31 is still damn impressive.  Florida is one of the few teams in the country with a great offense and a great defense, with great players both on the perimeter and in the paint.  I feel pretty effing good having gotten down on them at 12-1 to win the whole thing.  Don't think, just do it.

5.  Syracuse Orangemen.  I've touted Louisville as my #1 team in the country so I need to give credit to the Orange for taking them down on the road, and actually this was the game that convinced me to put Cuse in that "could win the title" group because they played great in a tough environment.  I have no idea why Syracuse has kind of been under my radar, but I assume it's because I'm an idiot.  They're loaded at guard and play two point guards in Brandon Triche and Michael Carter-Williams, which they can get away with because they're 6-4 and 6-6, and an awesome front court that includes two great scorers (C.J. Fair and James Southerland) and a defensive superstar (Rakeem Christmas).  Their only loss was to Temple at MSG, and they now have probably the best win of anyone this season with that roadie vs. the #1 team to legitimize them.  They do have a big issue hanging over them with Southerland's indefinite suspension due to some kind of academic issue, but I would assume he'll be back soon enough given that Syracuse is a big time hoops school and so the administrators probably understand it's best to get him back on the court. 

Stupid Joel Maturi.

WHO SUCKED

1.   Gopher basketball.  I'm not giving up on the season, thinking they suck, or anything like that.  I mean they have three losses this season and they're all to teams that have been ranked in the top 3 this season, and only the Duke game was a double digit loss.  What sucks, and why I have to put the Gophers here, is that I'm having trouble imagining them as a Final Four team anymore, simply because there have been stretches in all three losses where they've been absolutely dominated, and the domination wasn't for a short period of time but a very long one.  Michigan outscored them 20-7 over a 7 minute period, Indiana had that entire first half, and Duke pretty much controlled the whole game.  For much of this year I had considered the Gophers to be a possible Final Four contending team and maybe the best Gopher team of my life.  That seems laughable now, as I'm fairly certain the '97 team would crush these guys.

That's not to say this can't be a very good year.  I'm picturing the team now as a top 5 finisher in the Big 10 with like a 5 seed and a decent shot to make the Sweet 16.  Wouldn't we all have taken that coming into the season?  Of course we would have.  By any measure (for the Gopher program) that's a successful season, it's just that it felt like the bar had been raised and that this might be a special team, rather than a very good one.  It's hard to feel that way anymore after watching Michigan completely outclass them on their own court.  Hopefully they can sweet these next four winnable games and I can feel a bit better, and even though I know this is a really good Gopher team it's hard not to feel a bit of a gut punch here.  It's not the losses, it's the way they lost.  Hopefully they learn and move on.  I'm also now extremely terrified of going to Northwestern. 

2. Los Angeles Lakers.  I know I'm not exactly breaking new ground here because I think everyone is aware of the Lakers' struggles, but holy crap you guys.  Anybody who ever watched sports new their might be an adjustment period bringing in Nash to play with a guy who dominates the ball like Kobe (similar to the LeBron/Wade pairing initially) but even if it took them a while to get it figured out with complimentary players like Dwight Howard and Pau Gasol you'd expect them, worst case, to end up being a very dangerous low seed in the playoffs as they finally figured it out.  One problem - they're not figuring it out, and at 17-23 are in severe danger of missing the playoffs after losing to Toronto on Sunday (TORONTO!!) thanks in part to Howard getting booted for picking up two technicals.  They've now lost eight of their last ten, and count losses to the Raptors, Cavs, Magic, and the Kings among their failures this year - those are some bad teams.  Normally I would be enjoying this immensely, but I just acquired Kobe for my Fantasy NBA team and so now I don't hate him as much.

3.  Jordan Hulls.  So let me get this straight, the Underpants Gnome plays out of his mind against the Gophers but then plays like a total asshole against Wisconsin?  And don't you dare credit Wisconsin for this either, because he was just total garbage who couldn't shoot, only bothered to take 1 three-pointer (seriously with that range he only attempted one?  First time all year), and turned the ball over like he was giving it away for Valentine's Day to some handsome man.  Plus he was outplayed by Ben Brust who sucks.  And what was with Indiana doubling down on Ryan freaking Evans on the block?  Just let him go to work, you'll be better off letting him shoot.  The only possible explanations for this game was that Indiana felt invincible after beating the Gophers and forgot to try or Jordan Hulls threw the game.  Also, why do I have so much trouble spelling invincible?  Everything about this has my brain scrambled like Kevin Burleson trying to break a press.

4.  Matt Ryan.  I thought Ryan was getting a little too much heat for never having won a playoff game (probably because the Matty Ice nickname is so annoying) but it's hard to find a way to not blame that game on Ryan (with a major assist to the defense).  I'll even forgive him the pick because Roddy White fell down, but there were plenty of unforgivable mistakes.  The fumbled shot gun snap that San Fran recovered which hit him perfectly in the hands and not picking up a single first down after recovering the Crabtree fumble (giving the Niners great field position after a shitty punt) were both pretty awful, but Ryan saved his worst for the biggest play of the game.  On that fourth down inside the 10 he forced the ball to a non-open White, never bothering to look at any other receive and thus missing an absolutely wide open Tony Gonzalez who had slipped behind the linebackers and there wasn't a safety over the top - easy TD.  I should feel good about this loss because the Falcons screwed over the Vikings in '98, but I hate Jim Harbaugh, Ray Lewis, and the Patriots so Atlanta was my only chance to enjoy the Super Bowl.  Hopefully they'll be good food.

5.  Seattle Mariners. If I'm going to praise the Nationals for making a good move, I gotta point out that the Mariners apparently are assembling a softball team or something.  After acquiring Michael Morse in the above mentioned trade, they now have all these guys: Morse, Raul Ibanez, Jason Bay, Kendrys Morales, Justin Smoak, and Jesus Montero.  Which means that even if they plan to give Montero another shot to be a catcher (LOL) they've still got five mostly immobile types to try to shoehorn into a lineup.  That means something like Montero at C, Ibanez in LF, Morse in RF, Morales at 1b, and either Smoak or Bay at DH with the other coming off the bench?  Ibanez and Morse as two of your 3 outfielders?  Franklin Gutierrez is very good, but he's not that good.  I guess the real point is why even trade for Morse?  Even if they've given up on Smoak (and if they have they should trade him to the Twins because I STILL BELIEVE DAMMIT) acquiring Morse brings nothing to you that you don't already have, and by trading John Jaso to do it you've severely downgraded your defense going to Montero, but they don't really have another choice because, again, they have way to many slow RF/DH/1b types to fit Montero's bat in any other way.  Seattle has the potential for a pretty kick-ass future (seriously their minor league pitchers are top shelf) but if they keep fucking up the present like this it's not going to matter.  Those Nintendo guys haven't done anything baseball-related right since Baseball Stars.  Remember Baseball Stars 2?  What were they thinking?


You'll notice I had the prudence to not write about this whole Manti Te'o thing because let's be honest, it's pretty played out at this point.  Was a pretty good day on twitter, though.  I also didn't write about hockey because it's a sport for cretins.  See you soon with a preview of the Northwestern game.  Or maybe just a link to the one I wrote like a week ago.  Jesus aren't they supposed to space these games out? 

Monday Musings

So dumb.  I actually had a Week in Review about 90% done and all typed up.  I saved it before bed last night with the intent of finishing it off this morning, except when I went there it was gone.  Completely gone.  So I'm just going to do this thing instead where I type stuff that you end up reading for some reason.

-  Good win for the Gophers Sunday winning in Penn State.  It's not so much a great win because Penn State is any good (spoiler:  they aren't), but more because losing at PSU right after rescuing their season would be exactly the kind of thing the Gophers would do.  Also I should say that when I say the Gophers "rescued" their season after beating Indiana all I mean by that is they shifted the season from a epic flameout to what will probably end up being a disappointing season, but they still have a chance to do something at least.  So yeah, I'm not exactly throwing a party just yet but at least they managed to beat Penn State.  God I was so convinced they were going to lose.  Thank god I'm stupid.

Now the Gophers are 2-4 in Big 10 play, and at an absolute minimum they're going to need to get to 9 wins to even get within sniffing distance of an NCAA bid, especially because Virginia Tech - their one hope for a quality out of conference win - keeps sucking.  With 12 games to go that means they need to win at least seven more.  Here are the easy wins left on the schedule:  Nebraska at home.  That's it.  Everything else is going to at least be a little tough; HOME: Northwestern, Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan State, Ohio State, Indiana, and Nebraska.  AWAY: Michigan State, Iowa, Nebraska, Northwestern, and Wisconsin.  Yikes.  They're gonna be favored in what, 3 games?  Maybe four?  It's long ass road to those 9 wins, and I'm not even sure 9 would get there.  Looking like another long year.  I need a vacation.

-  Elsewhere in a rare move the Twins made that I actually like they signed reliever Joel Zumaya to a one year deal for $800k (with incentives that can double that), but it's a non-guaranteed deal so if his elbow (which you may remember exploded in a game against the Twins) isn't all the way back they can just cut him easy peasy lemon squeezy.  Good deal.

He's been hurt a lot since bursting on the scene in his rookie year of 2006 - he hasn't thrown more than 39 innings in a season since then - but if he can somehow stay healthy he could end up being a real bargain.  Zumaya has always been a flamethrower (his average fastball for his career has been 98.5 mph, topping at an average of 99 his last two years and he's struck out a batter an inning for his career) and like many of that ilk he's struggled with his control.  2010, however, was different.  Although he was still throwing hard and still striking people out he also had gotten the wildness under control, slicing his walk rate basically in half and was developing into a dominant reliever pre-injury.  Big fan of the signing.

-  Sticking with baseball, why the hell would you trade a 23-year old pitcher who already has one of the best fastballs in the league and has already proven himself to be a #2 type pitcher and if he ever fully developed a second pitch he could end up a full on ace.  I know Jesus Montero is thought to be one of the best hitting prospects in baseball and he definitely hit well when he was up with the Yankees last season but it was just 69 plate appearances and how is that all the Mariners got for Michael Pineda?

If Seattle was dead set on trading Pineda and his 171 high quality innings Montero would have been a nice centerpiece to the deal, but there should have been at least a couple more prospects thrown in.  Now Seattle has a nice middle of the order future with Dustin Ackley, Montero, and Justin Smoak but they're pitching is suddenly pretty thin again behind Felix.  And the Yankee rotation just went from crazy shaky to Sabathia, Pineda, Hiroki Kuroda (who they signed like, 3 minutes after making this trade), Ivan Nova (who finished ahead of Pineda in the ROY voting last year), and their choice of Phil Hughes, Freddy Garcia, or A.J. Burnett.  You know the worst part?  And of those three pitchers the Yankees get to choose from as their #5 would be the Twins' ace.  I'm going to go lick a car battery now.

- No matter how disappointing the Gophers' hoops season might be to you at least it's not as bad as what's going on with Pitt.  The Panthers have been dominant in their own way over the last several seasons and were expecting more of the same this year, starting the year ranked #11, but things haven't exactly gone according to plan.  An 0-3 week with a 20 point home loss to Rutgers leaves Pitt in dead last in the Big East at 0-6 and currently riding a 7-game losing streak that started with a home loss to Wagner.  Wagner!  There's no doubt the Gophers' season has been a bit of a disappointment but it's nothing like what Pitt fans are going through.  This year Pitt is hands down the most disappointing team in the NCAA and it isn't remotely close.  They're just like The Phantom Menace.

- What's more sweeter than a Packer season ending early?  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Suck it, Packers. 

Weekend Review - 8/2/2010

Remember how these Weekend Reviews used to be just for the weekend stuff, and then they morphed into the full week in review?  Well, now that I'm doing daily postings, they're going back to weekend reviews only.  I think.  For now.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Kevin Slowey.  You know, if he had just pitched like this all year nobody would be worried.  When he's on he's just an excellent, efficient, strike-throwing, out-recorded machine.  Obviously we haven't seen enough of that version of Slowey this year, leading to all the Haren/Oswalt/Lilly talk, but with Pavano and Liriano essentially dominant at this point if Slowey (and Baker) can start pitching well the Twins could end up being a serious problem for somebody in the playoffs.  Or those two will continue to suck, leading to down-to-the-wire pennant race where the winner gets swept in the first round.

2.  Francisco Liriano.   Seven innings, 2 hits allowed, no runs, eleven strikeouts, and it's really just a ho-hum effort at this point.  He's now tossed 21 straight scoreless innings, and is looking very close to his 2006 form.  Honestly I'm almost getting sick of writing about him, even as he's getting more and more enjoyable to watch.  Seriously, is there anything better than watching him carve up a lineup, and do it in a completely different way than Pavano?  Man I really hope those other jackasses in the rotation get their shit together.   This next week and a half is going to tell us a lot, with the next 10 games on the road including matchups with Tampa and the White Sox.   

3.  Stuart Appleby.  Do you remember two years ago when Stewart Cink won the British Open and I had to say nice things about him because he won?  Well I hate Cink, so that really sucked.  This also sucks, because Stuart Appleby is basically nothing but a cotton-headed ninny-muggins, and he won the Greenbrier Classic this week because he shot a 59 on Sunday, and a 59 is a score that has only been reached like five times or something like that, so it's pretty impressive.  Less impressive was Jeff Overton missing a 3-foot birdie putt on 17 that would have tied Appleby and then blaming a ballmark for the miss.  Also, how is this thing called the Greenbrier "Classic" when it's in its first year of existence?  Seems like false advertising.  

4.  Gavin Floyd.  Why is he so good now?  He pitched six perfect innings on Sunday against the A's before it was broken up, but finished with yet another sparkling outing.  Since June 8th, here are his earned runs allowed by game:  1-1-1-0-2-1-1-1-0-0.  That's ridiculous.  And it feels like the entire team has started doing this crap.  The Twins are a far better team than Chicago, but if they keep getting pitching like this they're going to be awfully tough to beat.  Luckily the just acquire Edwin Jackson, so we're good.

5.  Texas Rangers.  Not because of their play this weekend, when they dropped two of three against the Angels, but because they have now positioned themselves as a darkhorse World Series candidate.  The rotation was already pretty good with the emergence of Tommy Hunter, Colby Lewis, and C.J. Wilson and they added Cliff Lee.  The bullpen is outstanding.  Parts of their lineup were already stacked (Josh Hamilton, Elvis Andrus, Nelson Cruz, and Michael Young) and where they had weaknesses they went out and acquired pieces to address it:  Cristian Guzman at 2B, Jorge Cantu at first, and Bengie Molina behind the plate.  None of those guys are awesome or anything, but they all shore up weak areas for Texas.  Look out for these guys, serious sleeper potential. 

.

WHO SUCKED

1.  Chicago White Sox.  So let me get this straight.  First of all, they weren't able to get the guy they really wanted, Adam Dunn, or either of there backup plans, Lance Berkman or Manny Ramirez, and they even had a deal in place for Berkman but he vetoed it.  Then they end up trading for Edwin Jackson, a pitcher who has been on three teams in three years, has a 5.16 ERA in the National League this year, has a career 4.74 ERA, leads the NL in earned runs allowed, and is going to make $8.35 million this year.  And they traded two of their top 10 prospects for him.  And the only reason they traded for him is because the Nats made them think that getting him was the key to getting Dunn.  Psych, I guess.  Well played Nats, well played.  White Sox?  More like White Sux, am I right?

2.  Seattle Mariners.  Wow, way to not put up any resistance at all, and following up a sweep by the White Sox as well leads me to the conclusion that the Mariners are the most worthless team in baseball.  Yes, the same Mariners that I said were a sleeper World Series candidate.  Let's all agree that I never said that, k?

3.  Bryce Harper.  I'm pretty sure Bryce Harper is a douche.  I mean, I already kind of did, considering he has been anointed a future star since he was like six and he wears war paint when he plays like some douche from Precision Tree, but check out his facebook profile (No, I didn't stalk him, this is from an article on yahoo)

I mean really.  Between the picture and using his status as a tool to try to get a better contract?  Ugh.  Count me out.  I hope Strasburg beans him in BP, assuming Bryce gets to the bigs someday.  Really, I'd think a former Twin would raise his kid better than this.

4.   Early season NFL injuries.  Are there always this many injuries before practices even start?  Dez Bryant.  Knowshon Moreno.  Percy Harvin.  DeSean Jackson.  Wes Welker.  I mean, how are people getting hurt?  Isn't this the part where they don't do anything but watch film and do non-contract drills?  Sounds like a bunch of sissies to me.  I  guess we already know Harvin is, thanks to his Justin Morneau-like response to headaches.  Just seems weird.  Or maybe I'm stretching for subjects to write about.

5.  Angelina.  Seriously, why is she even there?  None of the guys want her there.  None of the girls want her there.  She's only there because she's jealous of the fame these dorks have now achieved, however much they don't actually deserve it.  Perhaps the best part is that she thinks nobody likes her because she left early last season, but in reality nobody likes her because she's a terrible person who talked trash about all of them.  And why would anybody talk shit about JWoww.  That chick would straight up murder you in your sleep if she so much as thought you looked at her wrong.  Honestly as hot as she is if she wanted to sleep with me I'd turn her down because I'd be afraid that I wouldn't perform up to her standards and her response would be to break a bottle on the headboard and then stab me in the balls.


The End.  I would have written more but it's Shark Week.  Holla.

Beltre on Way?

Posted on Star Tribune today, it looks like Sidler might get his wish

Twins ask Seattle about Beltre
By LA VELLE E. NEAL III, Star Tribune

Last update: July 14, 2008 - 7:37 AM

DETROIT - The Twins recently contacted Seattle to inquire about third baseman Adrian Beltre as they look for ways to boost their offense against lefthanded pitching, a club source said.

It's unclear how deep the discussions got, but the Twins decided to act on the internal discussions they had about the Mariners slugger.

Beltre, 29, is batting .259 with 16 homers and 46 RBI. He is regarded as an excellent defensive player, having won the Gold Glove at third last year, and could be rejuvenated by being in a pennant chase. He is being paid $12 million this season and again in 2009.

The Twins are 13-14 against lefthanded starters, with a slugging percentage of .380 and on base-plus-slugging percentage (OPS) of .695. Their numbers against righthanded starters -- .422 slugging and .768 OPS -- are noticeably better.

I am very much in favor of this move. Brian Buscher has been good, but he doesn't give the Twins what they really need and that's power. Even in the minors in 2,000 career ABs he only it a total of 39 dongs. With Cuddyer on the shelf and Delmon Young religiously against hitting homeruns, right handed power has been non-existant. Beltre instantly gives them that, plus a high quality glove on the corner. He's been down a bit since finishing runner up as NL MVP in 2004 and signing his big contract with Seattle, but he would still be a massive upgrade for the Twins. Obviously giving up a top level prospect is a no-no, but the Twins have plenty of mid-level pitching prospects that Seattle might be willing to take. Just off the top of my head I would be ok with giving up a guy like Anthony Swarzak, Jeff Manship, or Tyler Robertson - or even one of those two d-bags that were thrown in the Santana trade. The Twins are chock full o' pitching prospects, so it wouldn't hurt to move one of them (note: I'd rather not move Swarzak or Robertson, but if needed, do it.)

Of course, Beltre is owed whatever is left of his $12 million this year and $12 million next year, so I would guess the Twins would never make this kind of move, despite being the kind of thing that could take them into the playoffs. He also has a partial no-trade clause where he can block 8 teams, but I have no clue who is on it and can't find it anywhere - hopefully not the Twins.

When you signed Joe Nathan you made a statement and a commitment that this wasn't a rebuilding year, so please, pretty please, make this trade. Maybe we can get them to take Boof, too.

Twins Fan for One More Night

Ok, I know I said I'd be a Mariners fan now, but look at this pitching matchup, then realize the Twins are actually an underdog here, and you'll see that there's no way I couldn't throw money down on the Twins tonight, even on the road.

So Go Twins. For one more night.

MIN: Matt Garza: 37ips, 1.19 WHIP, .239 OAV, 2.92 BB/9, 8.52 K/9, 0.24 HR/9

SEA: Horacio Ramirez: 67ips, 1.85 WHIP, .337 OAV, 3.89 BB/9, 3.89 K/9, 1.07 HR/9.

I mean, Garza has him in every category. And this Ramirez guy has a 1:1 K to BB ratio, that's freakin' terrible. For example, Sidney Ponson was 1.35 at least, with almost identical WHIP and OAV. He's better at home, but Safeco is a ridiculously friendly park to pitchers (.87 lifetime park factor), so if that helps out Ramirez, it should make Garza unhittable.

This Ramirez is so bad, he should cancel out the complete inability of the Twins to hit, and they should be able to manage to score enough runs to win. I'm betting on it.

EDIT:

10:00pm - It's working.

10:07pm - Dammit.

10:13pm - Ramirez somehow managed to shut down Redmond, Punto, and Casilla 1-2-3. Even for a crapass pitcher like him, that was easy.

10:18pm - Punto can't hit, but he sure can field. He's like Brooks Robinson without the hitting. And not as good a fielder.

10:20pm - Jason Bartlett hits home runs now?

10:25pm - We were just informed that Lew Ford has been tearing up Triple A. Sweetness.

10:28pm - Rondell White just got a 2-run single by barely hitting the ball and doinking it off the secondbaseman's outstreached glove. If that's gonna work, I'm calling this a win.

10:42pm - Vacancy is a pretty stupid movie

10:57pm - Double play ball. Garza continues to pitch like a front-line starter. So far 6 innings/5 hits/2 walks/2 K's/1 run.

11:05pm - Morneau drives in his first runs of the month. Finally.

9:15am - I WIN!

My Allegiance has Officially Switched

From this point forth (for this season only) I am now a Seattle Mariners fan. For a very simple reason, please don't judge me too harshly until you see why.

It's not because the Twins are throwing away this season by going 3-9 so far in August when they really need to make a push.

It's not because the Twins refused to trade any of their prospects for a bat before the deadline, even though sometimes it's good to trade when the value is at it's peak because pitching prospects don't always work out (see J.D. Durbin, Adam Johnson).

It's not because last night a string of the lineup was as follows: Rondell White, Tyner, Punto, Casilla, Bartlett - although that is laughable.

It's not because the Twins continue to pinch hit with guys like Lew Ford and Luis Rodriguez - I'm not sure what's worse, that those guys are the best bats off the bench, or that guys in the lineup are bad enough to be yanked for that quality of hitter.

It's simply for the reason that at the beginning of the year, the Seattle Mariners were 40-1 to win the AL pennant, and I thought those looked like pretty good odds.

Now, with the Twins running away from contention as fast as their little legs can carry them, and Seattle with a shot at making the playoffs - tied for the Wild Card with the dreaded Yankees - I must follow my greedy little heart and become a Mariners fan.

Although it will be difficult to root against Garza tonight.