Hi folks. I just finished up an absolutely terrific meal I prepared myself (Grilled Marlin Steaks in a garlic lemon butter sauce) and as such I'm feeling pretty good so it's time to roll out an idea I've been kicking around for a while: Daily morning posts.
Usually during the week when something interesting happens but I don't feel it warrants an entire post, I just file it away to use for the Week in Review post on Monday, but that's irritating at times and a lot slips through the cracks, so from now if I'm not writing something about something more important like Twins' talk, Gopher hoops, or crappy SyFy movies, I'll try to put together a linksy/newsy like a respectable blogger for posting in the morning so you'll have something to do while you try to wake up at work.
Now, they will be shorter than the Week in Review posts (thank god is what you're saying), and I'm not guaranteeing this every morning, but I'm going to try to keep this going until I get bored. Also keep in mind that I go to bed around 11, so it's not going to be often that any West Coast games are going to be highlighted here.
Let's see how this goes. Without further ado, your first ever "Six Things":
1. Danny Valencia is sick of my calling him a nancy-boy slap hitter. Well, he didn't actually say that, but he said it with his bat, going 4-4 with his first career home run. He wasn't the only star for the Twins, with Delmon also chipping in with yet another 4-hit game and Joe Mauer going 5-5 with a home run and 7 RBI, all on their way to 19 runs on 20 hits, giving them 29 runs and 39 hits over he last two games. Lost in all this is the fact that Liriano tossed an easy breezy seven innings of 3 hit, no run ball for the win, and would have had a shot at a shut out (just 83 pitches) if the game wasn't such a massacre. The Twinkies have an easy schedule the rest of the way, and Detroit is falling apart at the seems, so this thing is right there for them if they want it. And then we can once again enjoy the yearly ritual known as "getting swept out of the playoffs." It's a magical time.
2. Al Jefferson hates Toyotas, T-Wolves. Ok, he had some nice things to say about Minnesota, but it's pretty clear he's not sad to be gone. I'm curious how he's going to fit in since Deron Williams is a pick-and-roll PG and he's not a pick-and-roll PF, but whatever. And Actually calling the T-Wolves a Toyota might be a compliment. I'd have been more specific, like calling them a '84 Toyota Tercel that for some reason has three semi-expensive steering wheels.
3. Matt Garza is feeling the heat from Delmon Young. Just when it was seeming like the balance of the Delmon/Garza trade might be swinging in the Twins favor, Matt Garza goes out and tosses a no-hitter, and damn near a perfect game with just a single blemish in the form of a walk to Brennan Boesch. Nice little outing. He's still no Delmon, but I'd say he's significantly better than Jason Pridie.
4. Matt Wieters is back. This week Snake and I were forced to bring Matt Wieters back aboard our fantasy team due to Miguel Olivo suddenly finding himself in a platoon with the hottest prospect of 2005, Chris Iannetta. We figured we'd give him one more week before cutting him for good, but that's probably not going to happen after he went deep twice last night against Toronto, increasing his season HR total by a whopping 33%. Bad news: They still lost because they're Baltimore. Good news: My autographed Matt Wieters ball just increased in value by 18%.
5. The Wolves continue to get weirder. This time the Kahner traded one of his three steering wheels (Ramon Sessions), last year's occasionally starting center (Ryan Hollins) and a second round pick for noted Lebron-mom banger Delonte West and second-time's the charm Sebastien Telfair, whose NBA career is clearly working out exactly according to plan. Except of course that neither of these guys will play a game, because West can be waived before August 5th, which would cost just $500k (compared to his $4.6 million salary) and Telfair will be re-traded or bought out as well. Let me tell you, there's nothing more satisfying for a fan than a trade which saves the team money but brings in no talent. This must mean cheaper beer next season, right?
6. Dez Bryant is probably going to steal Halle Berry too. The big news out of Cowboy Camp is that Dez Bryant refused to carry Roy Williams' pads after practice, as is customary at Dallas Training Camp, and everybody is all in a huff. I get that, there is something to be said for tradition, even if it's stupid and retarded, but this just smacks a little too much of a Darnell Jefferson/Ray Griffen situation if you ask me. The brash young rookie (Jefferson/Bryant) comes to the team (Dallas/ESU) with designs on stealing the underperforming incumbent starter's (Williams/Griffen) job. I think we know how this ends: Williams throws a crushing block to spring Dez for a key touchdown, helping a fresh-from-rehab led Tony Romo and the Cowboys to a Super Bowl victory while Demarcus Ware listens from a hospital room, tears running down his cheeks because he knows his career is over.
So there we are. The first ever 6 things. Hopefully it won't be the last, but I make no promises. I can be legendarily lazy, and get bored and distracted quic