Thursday, June 10, 2010

It's that time again

Yes, folks, it's the beginning of summer.  The time when thoughts turn to baseball, women in short shorts, women in low-cut tops, and sponsorships at  That's right, our sponsorship is going to run out in 18 or so days, and so it is time that we discuss who we should throw our considerable financial and web-trafficky might behind. 

A brief history:

Way back in 2008, I realized there were a great many of older, shitty players who were not being sponsored at BR.  I also realized that you could sponsor them for anywhere from $5-$15 a year.  This happened after I realized they actually had sponsorships.  Obviously, I wasn't expecting an increase in visitors or anything, but the hilarity and shtick potential was off the charts.  So I jumped in. 

For a measly $10 a year, less than the cost of a case of Busch Light, I sponsored the great Scott Stahoviak.  I chose Stahoviak for a couple of reasons.  First, he was a crappy Twin and that always makes everybody laugh.  Second, a former frequent commenter and hopefully still frequent reader of this blog made the comment in Stahoves rookie or second year that "he would hit 30 homers someday."  I meant in a season, but even if he was talking career he still would have been wrong, as he finished his career with just 27.

After the year was up, I chose not to renew, because really, what's the fun of just keeping the same sponsorship when there are shitty players all over the place who can be exploited for hilarity's sake?  I will note here that nobody has taken up the sponsorship mantle on Stahoviak since we declined renewal, leaving him sad, alone, and unloved in the great big cyber-world.  All this despite his price being lowered to $5 a year.  Sad.

Moment of silence, please. 

Last year, the player we chose was a mere $5 a year, perhaps because he only played three seasons and totaled just 82 innings pitched in his career.  But he wasn't picked because of his real-life stats, nor because he had a stint as a Twin.  No, Mo Sanford was chosen because he was an absolute, shut-down, unhittable middle reliever on Tony LaRussa Baseball II on the PC.  So much so, that he acquired the nickname "Big Train" ripping it right out of Walter Johnson's stubby little fingers.  Between him and "Quality" Paul Quantrill, I'm pretty certain that game had no idea how to evaluate and rate relievers. 

In any case, it was a fun ride of one year, the same length of time he wore a Twins uniform, and I know I got at least one internet visitor coming here because of the link on Big Train's page, but it's time to move on.

So please, if you read this blog you must have at least a passing interest in baseball.  As such, you have no doubt noticed or seen at least one player whose name still makes you giggle like a school boy watching Basic Instinct for the first time.  Whoever popped into your head reading this, and you know somebody did, go ahead and suggest them in the comments section. 

It doesn't need to be a former Twin at all - I almost went with Chris Hoiles last year - but they do need to cost $15 or less to sponsor.  And also they need to make me laugh.  Here are a couple of posts about this from last year (you have to scroll down a ways to get to the pertinent info on this one). 

Come on people.  Let's make this year's sponsorship drive the best ever!


WWWWWW said...

By the way, I just read through the post I linked that talks about Hoiles, and within it is a really nice rant I wrote about how Stephen Curry would end up a terrible pro.

I am so awesome at talent evaluation.

Bear said...

The Todd was a Stahoviak fan too!

Some fag with a blog named Snake Jazz owns Danny Tartabull's page.

Good Idea Guy said...

Brian Harper, father of Bryce Harper.

Tubtastic said...

Butch Husky

snacks said...

Matthew Lecroy
Rusty Kuntz

WWWWWW said...

I like the Brian Harper idea, just so I can mention that he's Bryce's father in the little sponsorship banner. Husky isn't bad either. Never was someone so aptly named.

snacks said...

He is not actually Bryce's father, that guy is just making it up. Figured I would have heard that so I googled it. His dad's name is Ron. He does have a brother named Bryan. Could be fun to pretend though, unless you already were.

Elk said...

Scotty Leius - not only was the guy a member of the '91 championship team, he was a key contributer during the Twins' LEAN years. The guy screams "utility", poor man's Nicky Punto. He's a true Twin slapster, with a career .244 avg and a total of 27 bombs, most of which were crushed...I'm sure of it. Lastly, he's a bargain at only $5.

P.S. I was leaning Brian Harper, for no other reason than the solid moustache.

WWWWWW said...

Leius is an excellent suggestion. I actually laughed.

And yes, I know Brian isn't Bryce's father. That's why it's funny.

Joe said...

I'm throwing Bernardo Brito into the ring, not only did he have the nickname "El Pupo", whatever that means, he also had a stint with the Nippon Ham Fighters after having a terrific minor league career (and 40 game major league career).