Where the Hell are all you People?

Seriously, I didn't grant writing privileges to four other people as well as giving Super Sioux Fan free reign to email me her random thoughts at any time for nobody to write anything when I'm busy for a stupid crazy month. I've made it abundantly clear that this month I won't really be able to keep up with the blog regularly, and yet we got one SSF post and nothing from anybody else. You people suck. Now I have to spend time writing about things I don't care that much about, just to make sure all the slack-jawed cretins out there keep coming back. Thanks assfaces.

- Well, first things first, Brettly Favre-i-licious will not be a Viking this year (allegedly). Which is really just confusing. What was all this for then, exactly? I mean, he even had the arm surgery. What was the point of that? This was just one big tease. This was pretty much the football equivalent of a strip club - all that anticipation and excitement with no payoff.

Of course, Brett being Brett, would it surprise anybody if he changes his mind again in a week? Hell, even tomorrow. If I woke up tomorrow and heard on the radio that he had changed his mind again and was going to be a Viking, I would be the least bit shocked. It makes me think of the part of a horror movie where you think the killer is dead, only to have him rise and kill again two minutes later. And you know damn well that even if he doesn't still end up coming back this year his name is going to be out there again next offseason - and don't count on him to put any speculation to rest either. Good riddance. I hope to god he at least stays out of the headlines until after the next Super Bowl.

My new favorite guys are the people who special ordered their Vikings #4 Favre jerseys. Nice job, morons.

- Sticking with morons, I've already heard from one guy on the radio and read from one guy on the internet that "Michael Vick would be a great fit for the Vikings." STOP. Lunacy. That's the kind of thing I'd expect Bogart to say because he's had his head up Vick's ass for years. And no, I don't really care about the dog fighting thing, he's just a god awful QB. The only thing he'd be good for is to come in and run the wildman or the wildcat or the catman or whatever it is, the one where the QB runs the ball half the time. An option with Vick and AP might work a handful of times a game, but anybody thinking this poor man's Vince Young can be a full-time QB is more deluded than Dawger and his Cal Ripken = Mike Cuddyer take.

- This batting stance guy shtick is just god awful. Where did they find him, youtube? I'd rather have the bat trick flipper guy. But I suppose they had to do things the Twins' way, and find the cheapest way possible to bring non-entertainment to the fans. I'm guessing the guy agreed to do it for like, $10 per segment filmed. Seriously, this is less entertaining than watching Delmon Young take batting practice.

- Pawing through the latest updates in Gopher hoop recruiting, I'm hearing a lot about this Kevin Noreen kid, a 6-5 wing from Minneapolis. He's not ranked in any meaningful way (class of 2011), and doesn't appear to be on the Gophers' radar, but Iowa and Wisconsin are starting to sniff around (his only offer so far is from Liberty), but it wouldn't shock me if he moves up lists the next couple of years. It sounds like with his long reach he's already an excellent, pesky perimeter defender, and he can hit the outside shot and led his team in scoring at the Best Buy Summer Classic. He's also got a nice pedigree, with a relative (too lazy to look up if it's his brother or cousin or what) in the class of 2010 committed to Boston College.

Remember the name.

- I kind of think this whole "All Metrodome team" is kind of stupid. It hasn't been around long enough for any meaningful debate. Who is going to be the second basemen if not Knoblauch, Lombo? I don't think so. Or catcher, Mauer vs. Laudner vs. Harper (not to mention J. Ortiz and Tom Neito). With only basically three sets of players, you aren't going to have many debates. Except of course at first base (Morneau vs. Hrbek) where they magically decided to award both guys spots on the team. Totally frickin' pointless. Just an excuse for everybody to pat everybody else on the ass and tell them the Metrodome doesn't suck. Oh, and Snacks actually likes watching baseball at the Dome, if that tells you anything about how stupid he is.

Even better is I heard Gladden and Gordo debating the All-Metrodome team of opponents, and they came up with obvious guys like Thome, but then they get to relief pitcher and Gladden comes up with Jeff Reardon, "because when he was with Boston he always shut us down."

Well Dazzle, I hate to bring facts to an idiot fight, but you're wrong. As a visiting pitcher at the Metrodome, Reardon pitched five innings, ringing up an ERA of 5.06 and a WHIP of 1.69. Sure, he had three saves, which I'm assuming is pretty much as far as Gladden's brain goes anyway. Bravo.

- The Gophers lost out on class of 2010 forward Zach McCabe, who recently comitted to Iowa. Tubby had extended an offer to him, but he verballed to the Hawkeyes a couple of weeks ago, and was starting to see interest from teams like Kansas and Notre Dame. I don't really know much about him, but based on the teams who were sniffing around and his junior season stats (16pts, 9 rebs, 6 assists with 43% three point shooting tells me Lickliter managed to actually get a good one - perhaps his first.

- Oh, and Cory Joseph is really god damn good.