Wednesday, July 22, 2009


Looks like that Johan deal keeps getting worse and worse for the Twins and moving-up-the-worst-GMs-list-with-a-bullet Bill Smith after Kevin Mulvey got rocked by the retarded at hitting A's in his first real outing (a one-batter one-out appearance on Monday doesn't count, mostly because I didn't see it.)

Yep, this afternoon against a team that ranks third from the bottom of the AL in runs and last in batting average, slugging percentage, and OPS raked Mulvey in his only inning of work for six hits and four runs before being promptly sent back to AAA in an exchange for The Necklace. To be fair, the A's have a pretty intimidating lineup. I mean, with names like Scott Hairston, Landon Powell, and Rajai Davis, giving up six hits should probably be considered a success.

This makes the second of the three pitchers acquired in the Santana deal to hit the bigs and flame out. Philly Humber was up to start the season, but after putting up a 12.46 ERA in four unimpressive games, he was placed on waivers. Luckily for the Twins, he was so crappy that nobody wanted him, so back to AAA it was.

At least Mulvey still has a shot to develop into a serviceable major leaguer, with an ERA under four in seventeen triple A starts this season and a respectable 2-1 K/BB ratio. Humber, on the other hand, may be a lost cause, as his unclaimed waiver trip suggests. An ERA over six in sixteen starts with a WHIP over 1.6 suggests his new upside might be a middle reliever.

The third pitcher, Deolis Guerra, continues to get less and less impressive despite a recent promotion to double A. After a promising 2006 in A ball, where he put up an ERA of 2.20 and a 1.17 WHIP, he's failed to put up anything resembling a comparable season, with an ERA of almost five in about three seasons at high-A, and is up over five in his three appearances at AA.

Of course, Guerra is just 20 years old, very young for double A, and has still been very impressive at times, but the reviews sound less and less awesome as times goes on.

Gomez at least seems to be improving, albeit quite slowly, but when all is said and done he might end up being the only major league player in the deal. Hopefully I'm wrong, and hopefully this is the second coming of the haul the Indians got when they traded Bartolo Colon to the Expos (Cliff Lee, Grady Sizemore, Brandon Phillips, and Lee Stevens), but don't count on it.

At least Halladay is on the market. Maybe we can get him for Mulvey, Humber, Guerra, and Gomez.

- I'll also mention here because when the hell else am I going to bother with it that Ricky Rubio has decided he is leaving his current team whether he can reach an agreement with the Wolves or not. I'm not exactly sure what this all means, but I almost made it through that entire article and I think it means if the Wolves can't work something out with him he could jump to another team and creating a whole new headache world of problems. I'm starting to think this Rubio kid is Samantha Ronson, and the Wolves are Lindsay Lohan, chasing and chasing and chasing and ending up getting locked out of the house without a bra.

- Speaking of bras, we are watching some show now that has Susan Ward in it and she looks like a mom now. I prefer to think of her like this:
Good god. Actually, just go ahead and google image her. There's not a single picture on that first page that isn't a 10.

- FYI, Dusty Rychart is officially a facebook friend of DWG. Rickert has yet to respond.

- Just in case you weren't ready to kill yourself yet over the Twins, Jason Bartlett is hitting .346/.394/.526 with 18 doubles, 8 homers, and 20 steals.

For perspective, that's a better average than Albert Pujols, a better OBP than your boyfriend Derek Jeter, a better slugging pct. than Jason Bay, more doubles than Carl Crawford, more homers than Magglio Ordonez, and more steals than Willy Taveras. Kill me.

[EDIT: I'm going to add the video of Lebron getting dunked on here, just because I don't want to start another post for something that is so stupid. This is the dumbest thing ever. If he/Nike/Zeus/Jesus/Buddha whoever never grabs the tape in the first place, this is a non-story. Hell, this is still a non-story. It's like that time I told everyone I know that I humped Estella Warren, but I really just got some elbow-boob. [EDIT within an EDIT: I can't figure out how to embed this. Just click this link, jackass]]


snacks said...

bartlett is a fluke this year. i'm not worried about it.

Rockies Guy said...

I know you have been dying for an update on the Rockies so here you go. Yesterday I cheered for Todd Helton I don't know what happended, one minute I was sitting, the next I was standing and cheering, after he hit his go ahead homer, I have decided I would rather cheer for cancer than cheer for that tit again. There is a good chance I was the only one sitting during the 500th double celebration. Good for you Todd, since you stopped doing steroids you only have enough power to hit the ball 300 feet, 50 other people have done that, even the homo Robbie(he has to use and ie, cause he's gay) Alomar is on that list.

Clint Hurdle is a distant memory, thank god, not saying Jim Tracy is the next Tom Kelly, but still a huge upgrade. However this team is doomed to die a slow painful death with their middle relief. Juan Rincon, sounds like a disease, Joel Peralta is a disease and talk about people being broke, Manny Corpas has apparently mailed in his career after half of 2007. I have seen more movement on pitches in softball games, not the lesbian softball either, the drunk mexican kind of softball that is prevalant out here in CO.

And snacks, how is Bartlett a fluke this year? The Twins being above .500 with 3 starting pitchers whose era's are over 5, that is a fluke.

WWWWWW said...

They didn't really have a 500th double celebration, right?

Rockies Guy said...

So sad it was. The ball boy chases down the ump to get the ball, then one of the grounds crew guy comes out, replaces second base and gives Helton a weird "we're homeboys right?" hand shake and then they play music for about 3-4 minutes while all the puppets stand and clap for this guy. Even Helton was embarrassed by it as he should be. I mean what are you going to do with a 2nd base? You are only about 250 away from tying the record, but as Billy Madison would say "Here is a nice piece of shit."

snacks said...

I've watched Bartlett play many games and have countless at bats and I just don't believe he's that good of a hitter. He's definitely not a .346 hitter, and I don't think he's even a .300 hitter over the long haul. (Meaning, say, over the next five seasons).

Charles said...

Well WWWW at least now you have "Rockies guy" here to keep your blog going. (mmph...haha)

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