Tuesday, August 19, 2008
The Daily Gopher has a possible Gopher schedule, which they got from Kentuckysports.com who heard from this guy who knows this kid who saw Ferris pass out at 31 flavors last night. But seriously, it hasn't been officially announced, so who knows how accurate this is, but it's pretty blah. Again.
Vs. Louisville (Neutral): This is good. This is the marquee game on the schedule, and it's not close. The Ville is going to be loaded - again - and replace their biggest loss of David Padgett with blue chip center Samardo Samuels. The Cards will be a favorite in the Big East, and the Gophers will be lucky to hang with them. This game will go a long way towards telling fans where the Gophers stand early.
vs. Virginia: ACC/Big Ten challenge game, which the Big Ten is poised to lose for the 25th year in a row. Virginia is not an inspiring opponent, and the Gophers have a lot more lose by losing than to gain by winning. They lost their only good player to graduation in Sean Singletary and their center was just kicked off the team. They have a little bit of a talent and some decent freshmen coming in, but if the Gophers want to be serious about being an improved team, they need to take the Cavs down at home.
vs. NDSU: Yes, it's cute that they almost beat the Gophers two years ago and won in football, but last year they got stomped and should again this year. Ben Woodside and his boyfriend Brett Winkelman are both back to annoy us for another year, but the talent levels are so disparate it shouldn't be close.
vs. Cornell: This should be a fun game. Cornell won the Ivy last season before running into the Sasquatch Twins and Stanford in the tournament. They return most of their firepower, including their top six scorers and the #2 and #3 returning scorers in the Ivy. Can Colt Iverson and Ralph Sampson Trey emulate the success of the Lopezes against Cornell? No.
@ Colorado State: They were decent a few years ago when they had like three white guys over 7-feet tall, but now they are just a crap factory. They were 0-16 in the MWC last season, and follow that up with one of the worst recruiting classes in the nation coming in. The good news is they have 17 ppg scoring guard Marcus Walker back. The bad news is he shot less than 30% from three and just 44% from the field. Hey, it's Lawrence McKenzie!
vs. South Dakota State: Joke. The new Bethune-Cookman.
vs. Southern Miss: Doesn't Larry Eustachy coach here? U of M students, hide your women! Actually, the Golden Eagles have their top seven scorers back this year, and could potentially be slightly better than crappy.
vs. High Point: Joke. Well, they were third in the Big South last year, but on the other hand, it's the Big South. They also lost their best player from last season.
Tournament (w/ Bowling Green, Georgia State, and TBD): Hey hey! A tournament the Gophers can win! That's fun! I'm guessing TBD turns into like, Radford or something. Go Team! Fight! Win!
If that's the official schedule, and let's say it is for fun, there's no reason they shouldn't come into the Big Ten Season with only 1 loss. Anything more than 2 would be a big ole signal that us fans are once again in for a frustrating season that leads to depressed binge drinking, beaten wives, and suicidal thoughts.