Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Get Bent Detroit!

Well it’s Wednesday night and you know what that means, time for some golf. Oh you don’t care about golf, well start caring losers it’s the week of the final major and there is lots to talk about.

First off last week was great golf, if you didn’t watch any you missed out on a great field that didn’t disappoint at the WGC Bridgestone. Well actually it was just a star studded field, minus Tiger, going head to head with no one really taking full charge until Vijay finally wished in his last 4 footer for the win. My guy Perry played like a dog but I did tell you that Vijay could win if he made putts. As it turns out he could have routed the field if he would have made anything. The guy was missing short putts left and right but his extraordinarily good ball striking was good enough to make him the winner.

What is up with Phil? He managed to choke away another tournament with just a horrible putting performance on Sunday. Personally I believe he is just thinking too much. Ever since his last big choke job at the 2007 US Open he just doesn’t seem the same, he will tell you that it is not bothering him but he has sucked in big events ever since. He has a poor putter to blame for it; in 06’ he ended the year 5th on tour in putting, in 07’ he was 15th and this year he is 48th. For a guy known for his short game he has certainly become all too average. He is a great player don’t get me wrong and he has a great rack but his putting is what is keeping him from winning more. Tiger is gone and Phil should be taking the lead and instead he is playing like a gay. By the way if you didn’t know Vijay and Phil hate each other, maybe even more than Phil and Tiger hate each other, I just wish they would have just went toe to toe on Saturday it would have been epic

OK, so when you think of a great golf course, a course good enough to hold a major, you probably think it would be held in a great town well not this week. Detroit, the Motor City, formally Hockeytown USA and as I like to call it “Detoilet” is the city that will host not only the best touring pros in the world but the best PGA Professionals from around the country. God hates Detroit more than abortionists and queers, that town is the crappiest piece of garbage in the lower 48. They really have nothing going for them other than poverty, crime and pollution. But all things aside Oakland Hills CC, The Monster, is still a tremendous course that should create fits for the players over the course of four days. At 7400 yards and again playing to a par 70 this week the emphasis will again be on driving accuracy, greens in regulation and of course putting. The greens are very undulated (lots of slope) and I believe the key will be hitting approach shots to the right section of the green in order to have a putt that doesn’t break six different ways. You are going to see guys playing shots off the banks of the greens to try and get the ball close to the hole and putts breaking 30 feet. Not to overshadow the greens but this course also has some of the longest par 3’s, 9th is 257yrds 17th is 238yrds, which is just another reason the guy who wins will need to hit greens, in the right spots, and can manage his putter.

So as an homage to WWWWW let’s look at who the stats would say wins this week. The best player overall in driving accuracy + distance, greens in regulation and putting is Ryan Palmer. He ranks 18th in ball striking which ranks players by combining Total Driving (distance and accuracy) and Greens in Regulation (hit the green with a putt at birdie or better) couple that stat with being 56th in Putts per Round (3rd in Putts per Green in Reg) and there you have it your statistical pick to click. Now is he even in the field…ummmm…NO he is not…DAMN IT. This stat shit is hurting my brain; well let’s look at another stat. All Around, ranks the average of all stats kept by the PGA tour that should tell us the winner. Stew Cink is your all around best ranked player by the numbers, but as I have explained before Stew is a homo so he is out, not because of his sexuality but just because I don’t like him. Campbell, Scott, Kim and Mickelson round out the top 5. Well Phil might win but I think there is a greater chance that he looses it on the final day. Chad Campbell, get real. Adam Scott is a fun pick but Aussies don’t win Majors in America just ask Norman…too soon…Nah. So there he is again the young, brash, best American player under 30, Anthony Kim. He wants the win and he has the stats to back it up 35th in Total Driving, 48th in Greens in Reg, 42nd in Putting and more importantly 29th in Putting when hitting the green in regulation. So there it is your winner Anthony Kim, not just by the stats but I really think he will win and if he doesn’t…well…well…well I will be very disappointed.

Watch These Guys Too:
Lee Westwood
-He played too well last week not to consider him.
Vijay- Why not.
Hunter Mahan-This is his last shot to secure a spot on the Ryder Cup team.
Poulter/Garcia-Garcia played great here 4 years ago in the Ryder Cup, he hits his irons as well as anyone and if he gives himself good chances and makes some putts he will be there. Poulter is a wild card, he has the confidence but can he execute in America?

Sleeper of the Week:
Davis Love- In 96’ he three putted the 17th green and that cost him the title, look for him to be a surprise on the leader board

There it is my preview of the final major on the PGA Tour. Picks have been crappy but hopefully the content makes up for it and I have to get lucky here soon, but if not I will be back next week to tell you why Kim hosed me and breakdown how the winner got it done, until then enjoy the golf.


PS-Michelle Wie sucks and will always suck, she is the suckiest suck that ever sucked. I was never so happy than to see her grind out that 80 in the 2nd round last week and then explain that she played her best, new flash, if that's your best then stay home!


Faldo said...

Kenny Perry is really no where to be found on this preview due to the fact that while digging out a contact today during a practice round he scratched his cornea and is now probably blind forever. Doctors say he will be fine but I say blindness, thats what you get when you dont come through for Faldo you get blindness. Watch oUT!

WWWWWW said...

Sadly, I like most of your picks which means I'm pretty much sunk for fantasy golf this week. I expect one of Sergio, Westwood, Kim, or Poulter to win.

The guy you didn't mention who I think has a serious chance here is Robert Karlsson. He's been tearing up the European tour and has finished in the top 10 in the three previous majors. He pretty much only plays the WGC events and majors over here where he is overshadowed by the big names so he's not really well known, but he has the game to take this one.

And even if Kenny Perry wasn't blind he sucks now all of a sudden and still looks like Dan Akroyd.

Faldo said...

Karlsson eh? Too bad you had to check the leaderboard to know who he was. Fades on Friday, probably contracts blindness from Perry.

WWWWWW said...

False. I heart Karlsson, typed that up before he was even below par.

Faldo said...

keep hearting him, he will need it after today's round not even his dog will like him. loser

Anonymous said...

WWWWWWWW hearts cocks, Faldo Hearts Perry.