Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Playoffs...Round 2.

The first round of the Playoffs is in the books and much to the chagrin of WWWWW Sergio found another way to finish 2nd. This time he was bested by dare I say the hot putter of Vijay Singh? Veej, who ranks 116th in putting this season on tour, finished the week in the top 35 for putts per round and putts per green in regulation; combine that with a top 15 in driving distance and top 10 (6th) in greens in regulation for the week and there you have the winning combination. Garcia did not disappoint nor did he choke anything away he just got beat. Kim (T12) and Casey (T7) did their best to help my picks have some validity but fell just shy.

Well that takes us into the second round, The Deutsche Bank Championship, played in Boston at the TPC of Boston. Boston like it or not is a great sports town as of late and having the playoffs there is awesome, especially when the tour has it end on Labor Day Monday. It is sure to attract a bunch of drunken chowds fresh off the water getting wicked drunk and yelling “you-r-ah da man” or “get-r-ah in da hole-r”. Sidenote: Why the fuck do these homos that live in the New England area pronounce vowels at the end of words that don’t have them and Rs at the end of words that do end in vowels. I mean seriously is it idea or ide-r, water or wata…Tards. Anywho, only 120 players survive into the second round and although that’s probably too many, 15 players this year compared to only 2 from last year transitioned from the top 144 at the start of the week to the top 120. Like I said last week everyone has a shot in the playoffs but the bottom 40 players or so will need to have a good finish this week to continue on, they do have 10 million reasons to care however so I hope we are treated to some major excitement in Bean Town. Sidenote #2: Stat boy Ryan Palmer will need a finish no higher than solo 10th to advance, he has the stats but he may as well book a ticket home and pack light for this trip, I smell a trunk slamming missed cut.

This is the portion of the post where I give you the picks, shitty as they may be, so here we go. It’s odd to think we are a year removed from Phil vs. Tiger in last years Deutsche Bank, Phil was able to fend off Tiger and win then said he was taking the week off and Tiger ending up winning the Cup. That was a real fag move, and there is talk that he may do it again. Well this time I don’t think he will have a win in the playoffs to cushion his position, Phil’s out. Tiger, nope still not playing. Hard to look past a hard charging Euro like Casey or Poulter, who switched his schedule to play back in the states this week to not only try to get in the hunt for the Ryder Cup but to also play in the minimum 15 events required to keep your tour card. That’s right no matter how much cash you win, if you don’t play in enough events (minimum of 15) or win on the PGA Tour you will not be fully exempt. Funny thing is there are a ton of events to play after the Tour Championship where he could fulfill this requirement, they are not by any means the marquee events but odds are that he already knows he is going to be chosen for the Ryder Cup team and Faldo wants him hear early to get acclimated and rested. Could all be hearsay but if its not you heard it here first. Back to the picks, hard to go against Veej or Sergio after last week so I won’t, this time Sergio takes home the trophy, maybe even in a playoff. Rounding out the top five; Veej, Stricker, Kim and Casey.

Ryder Cup Scuttlebutt
Insiders say that either Bubba Watson or JB Holmes is a lock for one of the Captain’s Picks. I think earlier in the year Azinger was shading towards Watson but Holmes is from Kentucky and that backwoods, sister screwing, chaw spittin redneck would like nothing more than to showcase his game, for his country, in his home state. Nod goes to Holmes.

Also rumored on the American side is that Verplank or Stricker may also be a lock, they are basically the same player, typically boring consistent golf and good putting. Nod goes to Stricker, but don’t be surprised if they both make it.

Americans who need a good week: Mahan, Snedeker, Zach Johnson, Sean O’Hair and Trahan.

Euros who need a good week: Casey, Poulter, Pettersson, Chopra, Montgomery and Clarke (both playing in Europe).

Early predictions:
US Picks-Stricker, Holmes, Rocco and Mahan

Euro Picks-This is a little harder as they calculate the 10 players that get in off of their play by using two different ranking lists and since my brain hurts now after trying to figure out who is on the cut line all I know is that Faldo hopes Casey and Poulter play their way in so he can pick Monty and Darren Clarke. If not one or two of those four will be on the outside looking in.

News and Notes
I had to mention this; the LPGA tour passed a rule that all their players must be able to speak conversational English. What this means is that they are tired of having these players (this is directed mostly at the Korean players that have dominated the Tour as of late) use interpreters during Pro-Am events and when they are addressing the media after winning/playing a tournament. I think this is awesome that a tour geared to what some may call a minority (dykes not women) is basically telling their players to speak fucking English or go back to Korea, China, France or wherever people think they don’t have to speak the language of the country that is currently giving them the opportunity to make more money than their third world ancestors could have possibly imagined. Why stop at the LPGA, why not institute this nation wide for everyone who works and lives here. If you can’t pass a conversational English test you get to live in Guam. I don’t give a fuck if you are 7 feet tall and quite possibly the best center in the NBA or some geek off the street, you can’t pass it well then you get to go to Guam and there are no second chances. Well I guess for now all we have is some dykes that will no longer be able to play golf on the LPGA until they can speak it (they are truly threatening suspensions of players), they get two years to conform that is if this doesn’t go to some type of court for a ruling or the ACLU puts on the pressure. This really couldn’t get any better, well Michelle Wie could all of a sudden forget how to speak English and be banished to Guam, but that’s the only way it gets better.

Whoa, lots of good stuff here and you thought Golf was boring, shame on you.