Six Very Important Things this Morning 8.17.2010

1.  In Gopher Football talk, this sucks.  According to whoever runs the Pioneer Press's Gopher twitter, MarQueis Gray spent the day playing WR for the Gophers, which I would assume means he won't be playing QB and we're stuck with Adam Weber again, but this time sans security blanket.  That leads to an upside of a mid-tier bowl, with a downside of zero bowl.  I've talked here about how I love what Fred Hoiberg is doing to try to turn Iowa State around by taking big risks, and I think that's where the Gophers need to go if they want a shot at relevance.  The best way to go about that is to scrap whatever kind of boring typical offense they're running and go with something more interesting.

The spread would have been an option (which Brewster has already killed), as would the wishbone (no chance), but my favorite option is to take the ball and give it to an incredible athlete with some QB experience in his background and turn him loose.  If only they could find somebody like that somewhere.  And if he was ranked as the 3rd best dual threat QB in his high school class, that would be even better.  But how could the Gophers ever land somebody like that?  I guess it's a pipe dream.


2.  No, not that kind of punchout.  In news that sucks for Mets' fans and Francisco Rodriguez fantasy owners, K-Rod is going to miss the rest of the season after injuring his thumb punching out either his father-in-law, girlfriend's father, or baby mama's father depending on which article you read.  Of course, that's not really the important part, the important part is that an ace reliever is going to miss the rest of the season after punching an old man who ended up in the hospital with (a lump on his head and scratches on his face.)  Is it just me here, or does it kind of sound like K-Rod fights like how I imagine Nick Punto probably fights.

3.  Since we're talking domestic violence, how about "Born Ready?"  I feel sad, because Lance "Born Ready" Stephenson was one of my favorite players last year.  Not because of his play, which kind of alternated between disinterested, ballhog, and unstoppable star, but because of his potential.  If he could harness himself a little better, focus more, and stay in control he could have been an absolute beast for Cincy.  Instead he turned pro, got drafted by the Pacers in the mid-first round, had an excellent summer league, and then threw his girlfriend down the stairs and slammed her head into said stairs after she was done rolling.  That's not domestic violence, that's like, a whole new level.  I think I saw Steven Seagal pull that move on Gary Busey in Under Siege.  Awesome then, just like that entire movie.  Not so awesome here.

4.  I wonder how this will turn out.  As of this writing (it's 10:30pm) #1 overall pick Bryce Harper had exactly a half hour to sign with the Nationals.  If he doesn't the Nats lose his rights and he would go back into the draft next year following another year of college ball.  There is, of course, no way that this will happen, because this is the guy who dropped out of high school after his sophomore year so he could get his GED, get started in JuCo ball and get drafted as soon as possible.  Everything this kid has done has been geared towards getting him into the Major Leagues, there is no way he's going to set the clock back an entire year over what is basically peanuts compared to his potential earnings.  Then again, douchebags who wear war paint eye black and get habitually tossed from games for arguing with umpires aren't exactly known for making sound decisions. 

[UPDATE:  He signed.  SHOCKER.]

5.  Shawn Marcum almost pitched a no-hitter against Oakland.  But that's no the exciting part since we are learning that the A's can't hit even a little bit.  The exciting news was that I saw, with m own two eyes, Boof Bonser on the hill for Oakland.  He looked awfully familiar, still featuring a low-nineties fastball, a lollipop slow curve, and an incredibly hittable slider, all to go along with a general lack of ability to hit his spots.  He threw two decent innings, allowing no runs on 3 hits and striking out one and lowering his season ERA to 7.20 and his WHIP to a terrifying 2.40. 

He's only pitched on four occasions this year:  June 9th with the Red Sox when he got destroyed and didn't get an out, June 11th with the Sox when he got knocked around the yard, then August 6th with Oakland when he pitched a good inning, and finally last night.  He's actually put up pretty awful numbers in the minors this year as well so I'm not really sure what Oakland is doing exactly, but I'm rooting for him for what it's worth.     

6.  This would be so awesome.  I've talked about a similar idea here before, but four top Indiana hoops programs are getting together to create the Crossroads Classic, where Indiana, Notre Dame, Purdue, and Butler will combined to play a doubleheader in both 2011 and 2012 at Conseco Fieldhouse.  Very cool.  My idea is some sort of Mid-West Classic tournament, say the Gophers, Iowa State, a Missouri Valley team, and either a MAC, OVC, or Horizon League team and just play a four-team tournament, alternating hosts each year between the Gophers and Cyclones.  Some years you could invite really good teams (Northern Iowa, Butler, etc.) and other years you could go further down the list.  I think this would rock.  But of course, since it's fun and awesome it will never happen since athletic directors and presidents hate fun.


As far as some site/personal news goes, Wonderbaby 2.0 will be arriving today at approximately 11:30am.  As such, posting may (or may not) be far more sporadic for a while.  I'll do my best to post as often as time and energy permits, but just know that you might not get a post every day for a while.  No, stop crying.  Come on.  You're embarrassing yourself.  Your co-workers are looking at you.  You're so ugly when you cry.