Wednesday, April 29, 2009

PANDEMIC!!!

This was supposed to be the night that I got super drunk and blogged funny things, but instead I get hit with the flu which has sapped my will to live. I still have a couple of things to say, and may add to it during the breaks between naps and crying. Also, please pray for Mrs. W, who has the same thing and is stuck at home with a one-year old and nobody to help her out. Oof. God bless that woman.

- Being linked by the best and funniest sports blog out there, WithLeather, is not only an ego boost, but also a traffic boost, as when they linked our Video Game Mock Draft our daily hits were 7.5x higher than a usual day. Thanks again, WithLeather.

- Last night for dinner our group went to a U of Princeton Bar & Grill. There were not equations on the wall and shit.

- At one point in the car I was trying to find a local sports radio station as I usually do, and came across a religious preacherman instead. He said, "I advise teenagers and young people not to date at all. When you are ready for someone, god will give them to you. Spending time in a relationship not given by god is just wasting your time." I love these people.

- Have you ever seen that movie Enough? Me neither, but from what I figured it's about J-Lo who is mad that her husband is beating her up and fights back and probably kills him. That's how I feel about my boyfriend Cole Hamels right now. I gave him everything, forsaking all others, and now how has repaid me? With outright suckitude. He sucked hard in his first two starts, compiling an ERA of 11.17, and although he's been better since, he's also left both of his last two starts early with injuries, first after a line drive hit him in the back and then after rolling his ankle fielding a bunt. This is definitely the part of the movie where I am developing my master plan to kill him to set me free. He can still win me back, but he better be damn charming.

- Now watching the Heat/Hawks game in the hotel bar (while drinking Ginger Ale, pretty much the most depressing thing ever) and I'm seeing Mario Chalmers. Who should have been a Wolf. What a horrible trade. Chalmers averaged 32 minutes, 10 points, and five assists per game and although there's no way he will be rookie of the year since Derrick Rose has that on lock, you could make the argument he's more valuable to the Heat than fellow rookie Michael Beasley (25 minutes, 14 points, 5 boards). Looking at NBADraft.net's latest mock, with the second rounder from Miami (#48, Chalmers was 34) they have the Wolves taking Roderick Flemings from Hawaii (who is my boy but still) with Luke Harangody, JP Prince, and Raymar Morgan as other possibilities. What are the odds those guys come in on Chalmer's level? No way. Just another horrible trade in a long, long list of awful moves.

- Also I should note that it appears the Heat are coached by a hispanic child. Must be some kind of promotion, although I would probably use those in the regular season. Weird time to do it in the playoffs.

- Last thing before I pass out in a swine flu haze: I keep forgetting to post this, but Dawger and I did a little draft of all-time Gopher teams on our road trip to Madison. Which team wins and why? (mid-80s and newer only) -



33 comments:

Snake said...

Team #1 has the better starting backcourt (by a slight margin) but then gets completely blown out of the water in the front court. #2 blows the doors off Team #1's bench. I am guessing team #1 is Dawger since it is loaded with talent like Courtney James, Dusty Rychart and T. Simmons. Dawger are you f'ing kidding me with Al FUCKING (wanted to fit in with the new trend on the blog) Nolen. Tell me you picked your team after some Marine had been feeding you shots of gasoline all night. Al Nolen...really???? Fuck! W's team wins 95-74. W, way to sandbag Ralph III for Tucker. Don't bother getting back on the III's bandwagon next year sellout!

Dawg said...

The draft was done on the road trip to Madison when Nolen was still considered a premier ball distributor and defender.

WWW's bench is way better???? He drafted frickin' Mike Bauer and Rico Tucker. We had a stipulation that the player drafted had to be at their current level (if on the current gophers squad) or of the talent level of their last year with the team. With that said Mike Bauer was the 4th guy off the bench his senior season.

My team has it all. Lock down defenders (Johnson and Bobby), slashers (Grier, Bobby, Terrance), Rebounders (Humphries, Courtney, JT and Dusty), Sharp Shooters (Bobby, Voshon, Bond - Walter Bond, Gitchi (ha) and Simmons). My team wins in a frickin' land slide. WWWW's only player over 6'5" is Pryzzy who would have 4 fouls in the first 15 minutes then he would have to rely on the 48 year old para-trooper to handle all his rebounding.

Joe said...

Derrick Rose has the ROY locked up? Nice call W, he already won it like a week ago. Let me guess, Dwight Howard has Defensive Player of the Year locked up too.

snacks said...

If you think Chalmers would have somehow made a difference in the Wolves season then you are dumb. The guy is destined to be a career backup PG, that's just all the Heat have. You should have one of your fancy nerd stats to tell you that. And it will be a moot point anyway when the Wolves luck out and get the #2 pick and nab up the spanish sensation Ricky Rubio!

snacks said...

Look at it this way, on either bench:

Best scorer - Quincy Lewis
Best PG - McDonald
Best rebounder - Coffey
Best defender - Damian/Travarus (tie)
Best shooters - Lynch and Bauer

I'd say team #1 still has a chance with that stellar backcourt, but they won't get enough looks with Kris the blackhole Humphries eating up all the shots.

Dawg said...

I also drafted Tubby as my coach. Humphries won't get away with shooting 25 times a game like he did with that spineless twit Monson calling the plays.

Bauer is a better shooter then Bond???? Maybe freshemn Bauer but not 9th man on the team senior season Bauer. Bond was the man and was actually drafted in the NBA.

Rockies said...

The combo of Humphries, Rickert and Thomas may be a little to much for Pryzbilla to deal with, and as pointed out, he would have 22 fouls in the first 15 minutes dealing with Bobby, Grier and Phone Book James.

And WWWWW, who was your first pick? I am going with Sammy J, I still remember the crushes the whole W family had on that guy back in the day. Cute.

Ying and Yang said...

Brian Grant also got drafted in the NBA, who gives a shit. How did the NBA work out for Bond? Tubby will reel in Humphries??? Just like he reeled in Westbrook from jacking up silly shots. Only a true fool would draft Tubby over Criminal Clem.

Your opinion of J Thomas might be a bit of a stretch. He was an unathletic tub of goo who had a lot of room to work his sr. year because of the rest of the skill players on the court. The big fella did his job well but he was no charles Barkley. You must be kidding saying Pryzy would have trouble with Rickert. his 150 pound ass would be guarded by one of the guards as he floated around the 3 pt line. God knows he wouldn't crash the glass for a rebound. Pryzy would snap that little tit in half.

i hate cuddyer guy said...

I don't know who writes this blog i'm about to link to but he might be my favorite person of all time.

http://tenthinningstretch.blogspot.com/2009/04/is-michael-cuddyer-done.html

I didn't read the whole thing because it is full of nerd stats I don't understand, but the gist of it is that the stats prove that Cuddyer is a washed up piece of shit and that the Twins should be giving his ab's to Young and Gomez to help them develop. Amen.

Rockies guy - you should ask him to do an analysis on Helton

Tubtastic said...

What no Chad Colelander? No Townsend Orr? Nate Tubbs? or Mario Green? What about the David "the Grim Reaper" Grim?

They suck - I know. But are > Rico/Nolen. Suck it!

WWWWWW said...

Why are people worried about Rickert getting Pryz in foul trouble when he just floats out at the three point line? Even a guy like Bauer could guard him.

Harris, Newbern, and Pryzbilla are three of the best defenders in Gopher history, and this team can bring in Bennett and Coffey to become an absolutely shut down team. If Jacobson and Burton aren't enough offense for you, Bauer and Lewis were both called instant offense off the bench at points of their careers, and McDonald might still be the best penetrating PG in Gopher history.

The perfect team. Even Rico in the 12th man off the bench guy who the crowd loves and hopes will score at the end of blowouts fits his role perfectly.

WWWWWW said...

By the way Dawger, Bauer was ten times the shooter Bond ever was. That statement of yours alone tells me as much about your basketball knowledge as your Ripken = Cuddyer statement told me about your baseball knowledge.

I'm just waiting for your movie quote that brings it all crashing down, and you have nothing left.

Dawg said...

WWWWWWWW are you f-ing high off NJ pollution today or what? What does the movie quote part even mean?

Mike Bauer in his senior season made 89 field goals in 236 attempts for a .377 percentage. He made 41 3's in 143 attempts. For those without a calculator handy, he was hitting 3's at a .287 clip. He barely hit 3's at a higher clip then Stan "The Martian" Gaines that year (.269).

This just further proves the statement that "WWWW is a racist" when he thinks that whiteboy Bauer and his .287 3 pt shooting percentage was 10 times the shooter that Walter Bond was. You are the biggest racist moron of all time.

WWWWWW said...

42% in 2000-2001. 35% in 2001-2002. 37% in 2002-2003. I can't find stats for Bond, but he wasn't even a shooter so your argument is stupid. Do you want to know what your precious little Voshon Lenard's 3 point shooting percentage was in his college career? 36.6%. Bauer's was 35.7%.

I'll wait while you try to make an argument that Bauer was a terrible shooter but Lenard was awesome.

Dawg said...

We drafted based on their last year of college performance you fucking thick headed dipshit. You determined the ground rules, remember???? WHAT DID BAUER SHOOT HIS LAST YEAR OF COLLEGE?????????????? That is the season applicable to this argument. You can give me his midget basketball stats but they aren't pertinetnt to the conversation.

joe said...

dawg you seem to have some anger issues. settle down you fucking retard.

Anonymous said...

Bond was never drafted in the NBA either, signed as a free agent Dawger.

Dawg said...

Joe Freud - What gave you that impression you fucking mongoloid?

Dawg said...

Edit - "Bond was the man and was actually played in the NBA."

Anonymous - Thank you for you wonderful attention to detail. Very delightful tidbit. Keep up the good work Champ!

"Champ" said...

Just checked out this blog from another and tried to add something to the blog and after reading Dawgs response to me pointing out he wasn't drafted, I agree with Joe, anger and a fucking retard.

joe said...

its like I said, dawg is the biggest hypocrite i've ever seen. he will pick apart little things on other people's posts, but he acts like a complete prick if you do the same to him.

Bored of Joe said...

Joe- You are by far the most unoriginal douche to ever participate on this blog and that is saying a lot. I chuckled the first time Dawger accused you of having a gay crush on him but I am starting to think he was on to something. Your either a closet pillow biter or the guy who pulls nerds pants down and sticks coat hangers up their piss hole while calling them a fag. Either way if I was dawger I would check my backseat before getting in the car. Now fuck off so this blog can get back to its boring self and take your "anon" lover with you.

"Thanks for getting me back on the rock!"

Bored of bored of Joe said...

He's right you know.

WWWWWW said...

Good call on really stressing that "last year with the team" rule. It weakens my eighth man, and pretty much destroys your second best player. You know have a shooter who can't shoot as your 2 guard.

My team wins by thirty. Easy.

Dawg said...

Is there some website that you could enter everybody's statistics from their last year and simulate a game between the two teams?

Sidler get the nerds at the EA think tank to come up with a way to make this happen.

I would rather let a nerdy computer solve this then read anymore of WWW's attempt at flinging crud against a cyber wall to see if it will stick.

joe said...

hey I just call out idiots when I see them. if anyone else were as idiotic as dawg on this blog, I would call them out too.

WWWWWW said...

Can you call out Snacks?

joe said...

next time I see him say something idiotic I will. in fact, him saying the wolves didn't miss much by trading Chalmers away was a pretty dumb statement. Chalmers is way better than Telfair and probably would overtake Foye in the rotation too.

Dawg said...

Idiot Police - Your devotion to my written word is very scary. Like going to prison scary or waking up and seeing your girlfriend hovering over you crying with a butcher knife in her hand (not that I would know what that is like).

You can give your F5 key a break for the day because there will be no need to refresh as I am done commenting for the day (or am I?).

Victorious once again over WWW in a DWG debate. I feel bad because its kind of like bragging after beating Corky Thatcher in a spelling bee, but I will take victories wherever I can get them.

WWWWWW said...

Truly your delusion knows no bounds.

Anonymous said...

Dawg > WWWWW

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