Friday, September 2, 2011

Day 1 Boston Recap

And Day 2 dawns at 10am.  Not bad, considering we were up at 4am and hit 8 bars throughout the day (Bell in Hand, Cheers, The Reef, Hub Pub, Green Dragon Tavern, Boston Sports Grille, Beer Works, and The Beantown Pub). 

Perhaps the best thing about this trip so far has been how my dad is acting like a little kid.  He had to sit by the window on the plane, and as we were coming in to land he asked "where is the ocean?"  He's also been bouncing around like a little kid.  It's actually quite endearing.

And what have we done?  Well, we checked into our hotel (not before being accosted by a probably homeless and definitely crazy man who kept claiming to be Britney Spears - I'm not making this up) which is kind of like The Overlook crossed with the Mirage.  It's got like, and old but classy vibe, much like Suzanne Sommers . But with way worse boobs.

First order of business was to get some lunch, and I couldn't have been looking more forward to it.  The Bell in Hand is the oldest continually running bar in the United States and also has the world's best fish and chips.  I had it about 4-5 years ago when I came here with the missus, and couldn't wait to try it again.  Did not disappoint.  Absolutely fantastic.

We then had to check out the replica Cheers since my dad is such a huge fan of the show and holy god did that ever suck.  That isn't a replica of anything.  The bar, the literal bar, is a dead ringer for the one on the show and I think the chandeliers were similar, but that's it.  I mean I guess it's pretty hard to recreate a TV set in downtown Boston, but it just felt like false advertising.  It also didn't help that it took over 10 minutes to get a beer, and that the little dive bar just a couple hundred feet away that Mrs. W and I went to and loved had been turned into an ice cream shop.

This is where things could have turned ugly and I considered just breaking shit, but then we took a little walk down on the pier and let's be honest if walking by the ocean doesn't calm you down you're probably a communist.  We had a quick drink at an open-air bar on the peer, and usually I hate sitting outside but because it was by the ocean and also because technically there was no inside I enjoyed myself.  Also probably didn't hurt that I had an awesome blue drink that was garnished with a gummy shark that was technically a gummy fish. 

And then blah blah blah.  What is this a travel guide?  We did some cool shit and drank a bunch of beer and still got to bed at midnight which was awesome because we were up at 4.  And technically only Snacks and I were up until midnight because we had to drop the old man back off at the hotel around 10.  Then we went to the last bar right by our hotel and met the angriest woman ever.  She came in and sat down by us and proceeded to berate us for 5 minutes for being men.  I thought she would be pretty funny and entertaining but it turned out she was just mean and stupid.

Also mean and stupid is the help in this town.  Good lord, if you hate waiting on people get another job.  At dinner (Union Oyster House - I had the Swordfish with Asparagus and baby reds, Snacks went with the Lobster, while Old Man W had the shrimp and scallops with rice) we had some old lady who probably used to babysit Tim Wakefield's dad and I think she took questions about the menu as a personal affront.  Keep in mind these weren't complicated questions, just basics like "What's the catch of the day" and "What is the market price on Lobster."  You know, things she should have told us up front.

Then later at one of the bars Snacksy asked a question about one of the local brews and the guy's answer was "I don't know, I don't drink it."  Really?  You have no idea?  Nothing.  I guess that would have been ok if he wasn't so god damned irritated.  More interesting was when we were down in that area there is a huge run of bars and they were all either crowded or at least semi-crowded except one where there was absolutely nobody in there but the bartender.  So weird.  Literally the only person in this huge place was the bartender.  I suppose once people start seeing there's nobody in there they aren't going to go in alone, but it was just bizarre and looked like a party at Super Sioux Fan's house once she announces they aren't serving meat.  You don't win friends with salad.

Anyway today is Harvard and Fenway with a possible Sam Adams beer tour mixed in.  

 Here's some pictures:

Our hotel.  Can't you just imagine this lobby filling with blood as someone chases you with an axe?

This is the best fish and chips ever from the Bell in Hand (the oldest continually operated bar in the U.S.).  This is worth more to me than your life.

This is the best shirt I've ever seen.  Unfortunately they only had smalls.

This is a statue of that guy from the Beastie Boys song "Paul Revere."  I had no idea the band and the song were this popular here.

This is some stupid boat.

Then we got too drunk and stopped taking pictures. The end.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Was that joyless woman named SSF?

Also, lets be clear here. SSF's party would be empty with or without meat. She just sucks (and not the good kind of suck).