Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Yawn along with Me

Game thoughts from the about to be thrilling-no-doubt Gopher/Northern Illinois game.  It will be a miracle if I get to half time.

20:00 - This Silas guy they are getting back from injury is the guy I mentioned in my preview who had 18 in their opener.  Could be the difference here. 

19:59 - I'm kidding of course.

19:32 - Turnover Westbrook, who From the Barn pointed out today is the worst player ever, leading to a layup by Silas.  Maybe he really is the difference.

18:52 - Damian rebound.  That's a fantasy point.

18:01 - Excellent defense by the Gophers leads to a shot clock violation.  This is more like it.  Except for how they are still losing 2-0. 

17:40 - Ralphie knocks down the 18-footer.  God it just kills me that I dropped him in fantasy.  I'm souless., I really am.  Like Derek Jeter but with even fewer human emotions.

16:14 - Hoff with the board, then coast-to-coast for a pull up three-pointer when the Huskies inexplicably don't pick him up in transition.  Then he gives it back on the other end by being unable to guard anybody.  I really am not sure what to make of him this year.  He can clearly shoot the lights out and dominate piss-poor teams, including dominating the boards, but he's not a good defender by any stretch and I'm just not sure what his role will be once conference play starts.  He's not nearly the liability Shamala was, and his basketball IQ is extremely high, but it will be interesting to see what happens.

15:30 - Hoff from about 28.  That one was deep. 

14:52 - Hoff from about 26.  Jesus this is like watching Jake Sullivan at the Hilton.

14:14 - Hoff from 24.  You want me to say it?  Fine, I'll say it.  This is like watching Larry Bird.  Apparently his role in the Big Ten games will be "white jesus."

14:12 - No Ill timeout down 16-8.  Tubby goes an all new five coming out of the timeout (the first of the game).  Makes sense since eveyone is probably a bit tuckered, but I hate taking the Hoff out right here.  He hasn't even gotten to take his heat check, and you're already cooling him down.  Freakin' Tubby.  He's like the Cooler in that movie "The Cooler."

13:40 - Nice job by Bostick getting a dunk (which he kind of Randy Cartered).  After he missed a three the Gophers got the offensive rebound, and instead of standing around Bostick got himself open right under the hoop for a wide-open super polite "dunk."  He's still got good offensive instincts, and I'd almost bet he ends up with a 20-point game at some point this season, but there are a lot of reasons to only give him a few minutes here and there.  He should have gone to a smaller school in like the MVC or OVC or even the Mountain West.  I bet he'd be averaging 15 a game at a smaller school.

11:40 - Gophers go to some full court pressure and immediately get the steal.  This game feels like the Gophers are up more than 18-10.  They certainly should be up more than 8.  The pace of this game is brutal.  It's like watching pre-shot clock ball.  I keep waiting for them to get the ladder out to get the ball out of the peach basket.

10:30 - By the way, I'm going to go ahead and strongly recommend the Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons.  Yes, it's kind of homerific and yes, it's arrogant in a lot of places and yes, it is peppered with constant pop culture references, but it's also very entertaining and far more informative than I expected.  You can really tell he did his homework and I learned a lot in an entertaining way.  Highly recommend.

9:45 - Hoff for 3.  That's 5-6 by my count.  I am really, really wanting to see either a pull-up three on a breakaway with no defender in front of him or a 40-footer.  Come on Hoff, do it for the fans.  Let's see a little Kingsbury here.

8:43 - Great touch pass by Westbrook to find Sampson for a dunk.  Nice press Northern Illinois.  You guys are worthless.  If it wasn't for Michael Turner they might as well just shut the whole place down.

7:35 - Right now with 1 rebound and 1 turnover Damian Johnson is sitting at a total of -1 fantasy point.  Oy.  I feel like I started T-Jax.

7:20 - A three for that Silas guy who is actually decent.  Westbrook answers.  30-17 gophers.

6:13 - A steal and an assist by DJ, which is a quick five points. 

6:10 - Text from Snacks "Mbakwe not on the bench tonight."  I actually don't have a clue if he usually is, so I don't know if this is interesting information or not.

6:07 - Text from Dawger "How big does the Hoff's crank look tonight."  Kids got issues, man.  But I'd say large.  Think Dirk Diggler. 

4:48 - I'm getting HDTV on Friday.  I'm giddy.

2:45 - Devoe for three.  Gophers now up 19.  Only real drama here is a 26 point spread.  I think Brown would beat this guys by double-digits.

1:56 - New Twins guy to hope they sign:  Kelly Johnson, 2b, formerly of the Braves.  Atlanta didn't offer him a contract for whatever reason, so he's out there for the signing.  Although he struggled last year, hitting .224/.303/.389 with just 8 homers, the previous two seasons were excellent with OPS+ numbers of 116 and 109, or the equivalent of last year's Denard Span, and that's from the second base position.  IF his poor numbers were just due to his injury (only played in 106 games due to an injured wrist) and IF he is affordable he is very high on my wishlist for the Twins for next season.  

0:00 - Half ends with the Gophers leading 44-23.  I might be done here.

18:54 - Hoff hurt his ankle!  He's limping, shit.  This is just like when Larry Bird racked his face on the floor and ruined the Celtics seasons.  Oh the humanity!

18:27 - Nolen with a beautiful dish for a Sampson dunk.  He (Nolen) is such an enigma.  He basically can't be guarded, and when he can get to the lane and find open players he is so so so good.  Then he has games where he is completely lost out there and can nearly single-handedly lose a game for the team. 

17:08 - And then he does things like get a steal which leads to an alley-oop from Devoe to DJ.  Every time I think I'm out, he pulls me back in.  Damn you Nolen.  He's the Sam to my Diane.

16:40 - Text from Snake "Is Rodney in jail?"  That's a good question.  Haven't seen him tonight.

15:01 - 52-32 Gophers.  I'm pretty bored, and Mrs. W is even worse.  I think we are going to watch last night's Big Bang Theory.  I might be back later. 

11:00 - ESPN.com tells me the Gophers are up 65-34 and that Hoffarber is back in and made another three.  Good.

10:31 - Just flipped the game back on in time to see Blakey's seventh three pointer.  I so want to see a heat check.

8:18 - Hoffarber is out and so am I with the Gophers up 32.  Let's get on to the conference games already. 


snacks said...

From what I've read about Kelly Johnson, he is apparently brutal in the field. Knowing the Twins they probably won't even give him a look if there scouts tell them the same thing.

And Rodney was in uniform on the bench last night. No idea why he didn't get in. The loonies on the gopherhole probably have a dozen theories by now if you want to check them out.

Tubtastic said...

Showed up for the second half after 3-8 drinks at the Big Ten. Got there in time to see the Hoff set the school record with 8 three pointers. Tubby was classy enough to put him back in the game in the final minutes just to nail his 8th three pointer (which he did on his first attempt). Congrats "White Jesus."

Bobby Jackson said...

Rodney had a sprained ankle or hurt foot but an MRI was negative.


Good luck on finals Rodney, stay away from any desperate, old, crazy white women that says she will just do your school work for you. Trust me, it's too good to be true.

Dharma Bum said...

I'm almost done with the book of basketball and I second that recommendation.