Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Gophers win and stuff

Gophers won tonight - and covered the spread - and that's really all that matters.  They completely outclassed Morgan State, I was way wrong and glad Snacks made us bet on the Gophers, but there are still some minor alarm bells.  Ok, really just one minor alarm bell and that was Kevin Thompson, aka John Thomas Jr., of Morgan State who was able to bull his way inside and register 17 pts and 19 rebounds (9 offensive) before fouling out on a technical that I heard about when I was in the car on the way home.

Thompson is a big, big boy (there's a reason everyone who is me calls him John Thomas Jr.) and he's been a rebounding machine this year and the Gophers are hardly the first team to get shredded by Vin Diesel, but I don't think it's going to get easier in the Big Ten.  JaJuan is a better rebounder than Thompson.  Morgan, Green, and Roe are better.  Leuer is better.  Hell, Manny Harris and Evan Turner (sans injury) are probably better.  If it was just Thompson having a big board game that might be one thing, but the Gophers are showing a disturbing tendency to get killed on the boards by the other big men.  Colt and Ralphie have taken some strides in their offensive games this year, but getting beat to rebounds is going to be a major, major issue if something doesn't change (of course, this is mostly Colt's fault because Sampson is nearly perfect).

But they did win by 30 (and covered the spread) so there's no need to dwell on the negative even though it's probably what will totally derail the season, so instead let me concentrate on two awesome things that happened tonight:

1)  I shook hands with Quincy Lewis for the second time in two years, the previous time being approximately 11 years ago.  Last time I was some dumb kid hanging out after the game waiting for the players to come out of the locker room so they could sign the back of my "3" sign (and Sammy J and John Thomas tried to escape by using an alternate elevator, but some sweet ass security dude tipped us off - FYI J.T. had an absolutely crushing handshake).  This time I was just some dumb ass who saw him walk in and sit by himself (although he was constantly texting - I assume lining up some hoes) who decided to say "Hi Quincy, you rock."  It was epic.

After texting some "friends" about this I first received an extremely offensive text back which I won't repeat here, and then a text about how Quincy will now "suck at basketball" and "probably hit his girlfriend with a phonebook" from Bogart.  You see, Bogart still blames me for the Courtney James fiasco, because not long before the whole deal broke he and I had the opportunity to shake hands with Mr. James after a game - which we did.  Following that exchange, Bogart claimed James was destined for All-American status based on some story about how he heckled a piss-poor Travis Fryman and then shook his hand and the next season he was an All-Star or something I can't completely remember.  Bogart talks a god damn lot and I am not really good at paying attention but it was something like that.  When the "all-american" thing didn't happen and the "domestic violence" thing did instead, it immediately became my fault.  So keep your eyes open for Quincy Lewis related news in the future.

2)  I have a new favorite player.  But not an a "favorite" for real favorite, but a favorite like "holy crap how is that guy for real" favorite.  Reggie Holmes of Morgan State is the most ridiculous player I've seen live since Chris Kingsbury, but with half the talent.  The guy is the chucker to end all chuckers.  He puts Tajuan Porter, Lester Hudson, Benny Valentine, Scottie Reynolds, Allen Iverson, O.J. Mayo, Jermaine Taylor, Stephen Curry, Josh Akognon, Robert Vaden, and Kris Humphries to shame.  He ended up with 26 points tonight, which will raise his season average and I'm sure that's all he cares about, but he took 28 shots (making just 9) to get there, all while turning it over 3 times and notching just one assist (tying his season high).

Seriously, this guy is crazy.  His season assist totals by game are 1-0-0-1-0-0-1-0-1 (and yes, he's a guard).  His career assist totals (average per game) are 0.3, 0.6, 0.5, and 0.4, and he's never bested a 1-to-2 assist to turnover ratio.  Not 2-to-1, 1-to-2.

It gets better.  He's averaging 18 shot attempts per game, but hasn't shot better than 50% in any of them.  He registered three assists in his second ever college game, and hasn't matched that mark again in his entire four-year career.  He once shot 0-6 in just an 8 minute appearance.  He once put together a 12-47 shooting streak in a four game span.  He's never registered better than a 38% field goal percentage or 37% three-point percentage in a season.  And, saving the best for last, in 104 career games, Holmes has had more assists than turnovers exactly 14 times, which is 13.5% of his games with a +/- of I'm drunk.

I love this guy.  We are going to be following him very closely the rest of the season and deep into his NBA career.  And this will be his official photo:

Seems appropriate.


snacks said...

I don't know any actual stats or anything but I'd be shocked to find out that Leuer is actually a good rebounder. He seems like just another big soft white boy who likes to hang on the perimeter and would fit in nicely at Duke.

WWWWWW said...

He averages just five rebounds per game? What a pansy. Please insert Robbie Hummel and/or Mike Davis in there instead.

rghrbek said...

Staggeringly funny stats about the chucker.

Humpries is smiling somewhere (from Houston?) although a little disturbed at this kids high assist ratio compared to his w/ the gophs.

Good stuff.

Anonymous said...

Dawger- Another great call on Morgan St. You hit it on the head, they are a solid team.

W, Why was Morgan st's coach suspended from the NCAA for 8 years?

Dawg said...

Morgan St. was a step up in competition from Brown and that's all I really said.

You should be telling WWW nice call on Arkansas (who lost to Morgan St.) as he predicted them to finish 5th in the SEC and likely make the NCAA tourney.

WWWWWW said...

Hey genius, half of Arkansas's team is suspended right now.

Dawg said...

By half, do you actually mean 2 players?

WWWWWW said...

There best player has yet to step on the court, and two other starters and their top backup just got back like four games ago.

Dawg said...

So when you said right now, you meant 4 games ago?

WWWWWW said...