Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Tejas


Well, I'm here in Dallas, stuck in a crappy hotel all by myself. You know what that means, drunk blogging. There's no better way to waste time. You know what they got in Texas? Steers and Queers. And I ain't seen no steers.

Since I'm by myself I figured I'd have a nice steak or prime rib dinner to charge the company, but this place is surrounded by nothing but chains. Not even an Outback. So instead of some crap like Chili's or Crapplebee's, I headed over to the local Buffalo Wild Wings because it's always good and they have trivia (which I dominated). Coming down here I almost wore my Baylor hat, which I picked up because they are the sleeper basketball team of 2008-2009 TM, but thought better of it because Texans are crazy. I didn't some good ole boy in a ten gallon hat that says Texas A&M on it gettin' all up in my business. Plus, if stereotypes have taught me anything it's that all Texans carry guns and aren't afraid to use them. And I don't carry my gun anymore to travel, not since that little incident, so it wouldn't have been a fair fight. That's just stress I don't need.

I did enjoy the two dudes right next to me who ordered a big ole basket of boneless wings to share - and then shared the sauce too. Hello queers. Again, I didn't even dare look sideways at them since they probably had guns, too. With pink and/or rainbow grips, but still, they kill equally well and I have no burning desire to die. But it was cute. Anyway, on to the whatever.

- I had so much trouble finding a place to by beer and fill the tub as seen in the picture above. I went to a couple of grocery/convenience stores and nothing, and my handy GPS said there wasn't any place with Liquor, Bottle, Spirits, or Wine all that close. I finally gave up and went to the nearest place with 'Liquor' in the title, and wouldn't you know it, I think I'm in a dry city/county. As soon as I passed signs that said "Welcome to Dallas" (technically I'm staying in Irving) there was a big ass liquor store on the left and a big ass liquor store on the right. Dry counties are the suck.

- Speaking of things, on my way to the airport today there was a truck that was transporting fireworks next to a big old gasoline truck. That could have been explosive. (get it)

- Anyway, on to sports related things, this Delmon Young thing really has me intrigued. I hate to give up on him, particularly because the throw-ins is a big win for Tampa. Harris/Bartlett is pretty much whatever, but the Pridie/Morlan thing is a killer. Pridie is essentially worthless, while Morlan is still a top prospect, and he's awesome in OOTP. I fully expect him to be closing for the Rays one day. With that said, trading Delmon is pretty much giving up and admitting it was a shitty trade. Although, Sidler''s guy JJ Hardy has me really intrigued. I don't want to spoil his upcoming post - allegedly - but I really like that idea.

- By the way, in case you're curious about former Twins in the playoffs:
C - AJ Pierzynski
1b - David Ortiz
SS - Jason Bartlett
3b - Mike Lamb
LF - Terry Tiffee
Cf - Torii Hunter
RF - Casey Blake

SP - Matt Garza
RP - JC Romero
RP - Grant Balfour

Almost a full team. Just need a second basemen. Give 'em Eckstein and this team's taken the title.

- Funny story. So the other day I came home from work, and from my next door neighbors house I heard people talking in Spanish. I was like, I didn't know they moved. Then, the next day, I heard it again. I looked over, and I noticed that they were having their roof redone. By Mexicans. My neighbors are having their roof redone by Mexicans. I felt guilty and I'm not really even sure why.

- It seems the WNBA gave out their awards today. I'll be sure to blog on that at a later date. Make sure to remind me if I forget.

- So here's what I think about this Justin Cobb signing. I'm sure he's an excellent player and I totally trust Tubby, but I'm still a bit nervous. The fancy pants Daily Gopher interviewed his high school coach, and this is what troubles me: He doesn't attack the basket as much as I would like. His coach said that. Now, that was sandwiched in between a whole bunch of complimentary quotes, but it's still there. I'm under the impression that coaches will pretty much do nothing but talk up there players. Like, if you asked Rick Rickert's high school coach about him, he would say, "Good judgement. Tough guy. Awesome tough inside defender. Definitely will never float around the perimeter and forget about the paint. Hates the NBA. Hates Australia." So I'm a little bit nervous about that quote. But mostly I just wanted to make that Rickert joke, so shut up.

- On another Tubby note, he paid a nice little in home visit recently to 6-8 New Hampshire Center Andrew Fitzgerald, a four star player and Scout's #14th ranked center, who also ranks #100 overall on the Rivals 150. Adding a player like that to the already loaded 2009 class takes the Gophers into top 10 territory. Now, before you get all erect, Fitzy has a lot of heat on him, and plans to take a visit to Louisville later this month, so the odds on Tubby landing him after jumping into the fray so late aren't super terrific (the opposite of the odds that my server at BW's wanted on me - I mean, she called me sweetheart for pete's sake), but if Tubby can get him it would be a major get. A little inside info: He attended Brewster Academy in New Hampshire. The Gopher football coach is Tim Brewster. It's pretty much a lock.

- You know who was a really underrated all-time video game superstar who never gets any play; Yves Racine. Go go Speed Racine.

- On TV at the place tonight, since there's no actual sports tonight, was a replay of the Vikings game (nice special teams, geniuses) and an NBA preseason game between the Celtics and someone. You know who is going to take the NBA by storm? Bill Walker. Just dominant. He ended up scoring almost a point per minute tonight, which, by my calculations, means if the Celtics play him an entire game he'll average nearly 48 points per game next season. Take that Wilt. All he has to do is beat out Darius Miles for the spot. And, as much as I love Darius and his award winning performance as "Basketball Player #2" in Van Wilder, I really think he can handle it. I just came up with an awesome nickname for him. Sky. Bill "Sky" Walker. God that's hot.

- So some weirdo wanted more pictures of Wonderbaby. Fine. Here you go:
Please don't be a perv, guy.

- So I checked out the Brewers prospects, and they do have a couple of SS's in the top ten. Nobody way awesome though, so it might be a little tougher to pry Hardy away than I thought. Again, I want him to blog on this more than I, so that's all I'll say. I would love to have JJ Hardy over here.

- As much as I hate to admit this, I watched the Sex in the City movie recently, and let me tell you it is even worse than you could have imagined. Imagine the most high maintenance girl you know. Now imagine her PMSing hard. Now imagine being locked in a car with her for two and a half hours when she's had a bad day at work and "just wants to vent." It's like that but worse. Way worse. The movie has everything that should never be in a movie. It's a sad movie about sad women being sad, and sad women love watching it because it makes them feel better about their own sad situations and has a happy ending so they think there's hope for their sad selves. I don't even want to get into the fact that Mrs. W loved it.

- And you know what else? That show was actually pretty good for the first few years. It was funny situations acted out by fairly decent characters and wasn't too bad and their were some boobs sometimes. Then, in the last few seasons, the characters mostly just became caricatures of themselves and they were forcing characters into situations rather than having funny situations to begin with. I had a lot more to say here but now I realize what exactly it is I'm writing about so I'm going to just stop.

- Also, I've seen every episode. Shut up.

- What's way better than that is a little movie called Saved. I can't recommend it highly enough. It pokes fun at religion in a very fun way that is not offensive for the weirdies out there. It stars an awesome Rockin' Talkin' Macauly Caulkin, along with Mandy Moore, the underrated Patrick Fugit and Heather Matarazzo (lesbian), and the super hot and underrated Jena Malone. I'm sure there are plenty of you who won't find Jena Malone attractive, but for those who are intelligent here you go:If you don't see it, I can't help you.

- I'm currently reading Case Closed by Gerald Posner, a big ole exposition about the JFK assassination. I can't recommend it enough. How much do I know about the JFK thing? That he was killed in Dallas by Lee Harvey Oswald, and there are questions about what exactly happened, right. I was there too, but this goes into so much more. It's really quite illuminating.

- Dodgers, Rays.

- I was watching some Cowboys/Bengals replay at the bar tonight, and I decided for the sake of the Cowboys (and my fantasy teams) that Tony Romo should just throw to TO and Witten every play.

- The 2008 NBDL draft will be on November 7th, and will be televised on NBA TV at 7pm EST. Sweet. I might need to watch this. Last year's draft featured first pick Eddie Gill, and have zero idea who that is. Other first round luminaries included Jelani McCoy and Darvin Ham, leading me to believe the NBDL is not working out as hoped, since these guys are like thirty. Other first rounders of note would be Kevin Kruger and Kevin Pittsnogle, which clearly means the NBDL draft is the biggest joke ever. Later round picks of note include nobody. I can't wait for this year's draft, when Lawrence McKenzie, Tom Coverdale, and Shawn Respert are picked.

- Seriously though, I would watch this. I'm actually kind of excited.

- I got nothing. Here's some pictures I saved and have no idea when I'd ever use so take a gander:

12 comments:

snacks said...

No liquor stores in Irving? I might actually be going there next week. Note to self, check out the duty free at the airport.

Where is the Okla-homa picture I sent you way back when? You still haven't used that and that is an awesome picture.

In case anyone is wondering the last picture is "The Todd." I know, probably exactly what you pictured him looking like.

the todd said...

Okay Creepy McCreeperson...where the hell did you find that picture of me?

Jena Malone is way hot, agreed.

So since I'm a janitor and not important at all, I never travel. Question: is it legal to carry a flask with you on a flight? If so, why not always have at least 4 incase you end up in a dry county? Scout's motto...always be prepared.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the great pic of Wonderbaby....dont worry I am not a creepy perv. I just like babies!

ps. So that is what the todd looks like....honestly I thought he would be fatter.....and uglier.

Anonymous said...

I am not anonymous...I am snacks wife fresh off a wine tasting! I can no longer read your bullshit anymore! You are a lunatic and I am afraid to be your sister-in-law!!! I'm telling a social worker about you!!!

WWWWWW said...

What?

Anonymous said...

That's funny! I'm Snacks' mistress.

Anonymous said...

Again Snacks wife!!! I know you are not his mistress...I spend way to much time with him!! Though I will pimp him out to you if you are interested!

Anonymous said...

WHAT-EVA. You ain't shit.

mama dawger said...

I thought I was the only girl allowed on the blog? Shit.

WWWWWW said...

Cat fight?

the todd said...

Oh trust me, I am fatter and uglier.

freefun0616 said...
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