Way to go, Kyle Lohse. You might as well just come to my house and steal my money. And it's not just Lohse, it's everybody - not only the Cardinals but the entire National League. The Giants suck. I'm sorry, it's just a fact, but everyone seems to just lay down and die. The Cards, a normally excellent fielding team, have given more free runs away this series than they've scored and suddenly the Cards can't hit Barry Zito? I can't believe I'm going to have to be a Tiger fan for the Series. Gross. But I sure as shit can't root for the Giants. I feel sick. Whatever. Let's look at some chicks and talk some roundball.
38. Texas Longhorns. Similar to last year's team, this Texas squad will be deep and talented in the back court with major question marks in the front court. Dissimilar to last year's team, they won't have last year's leading scorer in the Big 12 (at 20.1ppg) J'Covan Brown, who left the team to enter the NBA draft and then didn't get drafted like a genius. Stupid name guy Myck Kabongo will be the key as the team's point guard and best player, but his status is currently in limbo due to some agent related nonsense. Although the agent is the same guy who represents Tristan Thompson and Cory Joseph and Kabongo is also part of that bizarre Canada/Texas pipeline, so I'm pretty sure he's definitely guilty of whatever. I believe suspension is the only answer.
37. Miami Hurricanes. It's very possible I'm overrating the Canes since my ranking for them (particularly ahead of FSU) doesn't seem to jibe with most others I've seen, but I like a lot about this team. Reggie Johnson and Kenny Kadji are both double-double threats at all times and averaged 22 points and 13 rebounds per game between them. Johnson is 6-10, 292 lbs. Kadji is 6-11, 242 lbs. They're both seniors so they aren't about to fuck around this season. They do lose two of last year's three starting guards, but they get by far the best one back in Durand Scott, and Shane Larkin (yes, Barry's kid) is going to be in his second year and can give the Canes a real live point guard for the first time in a while. He was one of the best point guard prospects a year ago and had a decent freshman year, but it's time for him to step up to the plate and go yard from the duguot with a rosin bag before the Hurricanes boot one and strike out in the bottom of the ninth with the bases loaded.
36. Valparaiso Crusaders. Valpo won the Horizon regular season title last year before getting crushed by Detroit in the Horizon Tournament Final, but with their top two players and lots of seniors back they are the favorite to take the conference again, and hopefully (for them) not flame out again. And if they make the tournament you'll hear way too much about them because, admittedly, they're kind of an interesting team. The coach is Bryce Drew who hit the second greatest shot in NCAA Tournament history (behind that dude from Northwestern State who hit the shot to knock out Iowa because fuck Iowa). Their best player (and last season's conference player of the year) was a finalist to make the Australian Olympic team. Their second best player has played internationally for both the Canary Islands and the Netherlands. They have a dude from Jamaica. They have guys who transferred from Virginia Tech, Ole Miss, Indiana, Hawaii, Cal, South Florida, and Rice. Seriously it's ridiculous. I haven't seen this many transfers since Tark's days at Fresno. Plus they have a guy with the last name Buggs, and since we all know Charles Buggs is going to be a superstar I can only assume the same for a guy who I assume is related.
35. Oklahoma State Cowboys. The Cowboys season will basically come down to what kind of changes LeBryan Nash made this offseason. Nash was the team's best player last season, should be again this year, and is probably the best player to suit up for OSU since JamesOn Curry. The bad news, however, is that he shot an appalling 39% including just 24% from three despite jacking up the second most shots on the squad (behind the departed bomber Keiton Page). He balanced out his poor shooting and shot selection by averaging just 1.5 assists per game and getting almost no steals. He's insanely talented and if he can play smarter and maybe hit a jumper here and there these guys should be in line for an NCAA bid. And hey, if everything works out he can become the next JamesOn Curry and enter the NBA draft after his junior year and then fail to get drafted in the first round. It's good to have dreams.
34. Stanford Cardinal. Yes, the dreaded Cardinal. Enders of the Gophers season and world champions of the NIT. And, as we all know, winning the NIT is a strong predictor of future success the following season. I'm just kidding of course, it means exactly jack shit. More than anything it's just says you were a crappy team that couldn't be bothered to get into the NCAA Tournament, and barring a stellar recruiting class coming in you're probably still terrible. And they are. They have a good back court in Chasson Randle and Aaron Bright and some decently experienced guys, but nothing really special. Which is why they're ranked 34th and are incredibly boring. Or maybe they're ranked 34th because they're boring? I don't know. I'm tired and hate Kyle Lohse.
Now that I think about it, Detroit gets to set their rotation with Verlander first and I assume Scherzer second and will have the option to go with JV three times. The Giants will have to go with Lincecum and Zito to start it off and will only get to throw Cain once. I'm thinking we make some money on the Tigers. We goin' Sizzla.
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Teams #68-60
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Showing posts with label Kyle Lohse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kyle Lohse. Show all posts
Monday, October 22, 2012
Monday, April 25, 2011
Monday's Musings
I promise that I plan to get back to doing the week in review type posts every Monday, but Easter weekend was hectic as all hell and by the time I finally got to sit down on a stupid computer it was late Sunday and I just didn't have the energy or care enough to slap together something. Plus, that wouldn't live up to the fine tradition I've started here of high quality postings every single time. I couldn't possibly betray you that way, gentle reader, so I just didn't type up anything. Instead I'll just put together my thoughts into this evening's post. Just like this:
- Tip o' the ole cap to our buddy Grandslam for bringing this to my attention, but guess how much money Kyle Lohse is going to make this year. Go ahead, guess. You're way low. It's $12 million. Nope, not in his career, but this year alone Lohse will make $12 mother-effing million dollars. And in 2009 and 2010 combined he made about $16 million to deliver right around a combined 200 below-average innings to the Cardinals. This, my friends, would be why you don't suddenly throw a 4-year, $41 million extension at a pitcher with a history of mediocrity simply because he has one slighly above average season, especially when advanced metrics can tell you, if you take the time to put down the binoculars and game worn miniature scorebook pencil, that he was a little bit lucky and you can fully expect him to regress back to the same mediocre pitcher.
Now Lohse is off to a 3-1 start and coming off a gem of a 2-hit shutout against Washington (WASHINGTON!!), and has a low ERA and WHIP, but honestly you don't need advanced metrics to tell you he's not that good (note: he's been very, very lucky so far). He's an average pitcher at best who has just enough of a live arm that he's going to jump up and give you a good start or two here or there - he did it for the Twins, he did it for the Phillies, and he's done it before for these very same Cardinals. But guess what? There's not a chance in hell he's worth $12 million.
Want to know the best part? When they extended him they also gave him a full no-trade clause. L-O-freaking-L. Who's running this team, McHale? I'm expecting another extension any day.
- And since we are on the subject of former Twins' pitcher who define mediocrity (or worse) guess who currently has a no-hitter through five innings against the Yankees? Phil freaking Humber. I know there's no way this can last more than another batter or two, but could there possibly be a bigger kick in the nuts? Player acquired for former superstar who the team couldn't afford to keep who washes out pitches a no-hitter for a hated division rival against the old team's arch nemisis that's bounced them from the playoffs the last three times they've been there? Honestly, the only way you could possibly make this worse is to have it be a playoff game. But yeah, this will do. Ouch.
- Greivis Vasquez plays a meaningful role for the Grizzlies? I had no idea (but I guess why would I when it pertains to the Memphis NBA team). I've been watching this game for about four game minutes and he's hit two buckets as well as a three-pointer. I think he might be MVP.
- Humber now through six. Still hitless. If he can get through the seventh (Granderson, Texeira, A-Rod) he'll have a chance. Of course, that still lives Cano. Wait. I got it. He's going get all the way to the last out, which will be Jeter. Jeter will break it up. All announcers/journalists everywhere will collectively mess their shorts to race to their typewriters to write up an article about how tough he is and his intangibles. One journalist will out-crazy them all by writing about how he believes "some part of Jeter really didn't want to break that up, because he knew what a great story it was, but he's such a competitor that the though of lying down never crossed his mind." Book it.
- I just realized A.J. Burnett is on the other side of this, and he's only allowed 2 hits and one run. This is like bizarro-world. There must be a five-hundred mile per hour wind blowing in, the infield grass must be three times longer than normal, and whoever is umping home plate obviously is calling everything a strike tonight. That has to be it, no?
- Moment of silence of Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes, who died nine years ago today. You may remember her as the crazy as shit broad from TLC who burned down Andre Rison's house, but what you might not remember is that Andre Rison died exactly four years ago today. Creepy, right? But I should mention that I actually have no idea if Andre Rison is dead or alive, and if he is dead he probably didn't die on this date. But he could have, and that's creepy.
- I just read that a judge or something lifted the NFL lockout. I'm not going to lie to you. I have no idea what this means. All I know is I want scab players in at least one NFL game. Come on. Tell me you don't want to see Adam Weber throw a TD pass to some 33-year old slob who was selling cars or schlepping concrete last year. How much fun would it be to go through the rosters and see guys you remember as the third WR on Michigan in 2002 and be all like, "Ronald Bellamy! I remember that guy! He's a fag!" Seriously, it would be like Christmas.
- A-Rod breaks up the no-hitter with one down in the 7th. I feel both relieved and saddened at the same time.
- That Joe Mauer/Troy Polamolu commercial creeps me out.
- I know what you're wondering. You're wondering what's going on with the NBDL right now. Well I'll tell you. They've reached the finals (which is a best of three affair) and the Iowa Energy are up on the Rio Grande Valley Vipers after taking game one by a score of 123-109. Iowa was led by Curtis "The Curt Man" Stinson who notched a triple-double (29-10-10). Also apparently Stinson was MVP of the D-League. How proud of that would you be? I'd say it's kind of like getting into Harvard and getting a communications degree. I mean, it's better than slinging crack or living off welfare, but even so you gotta feel like you didn't quite get everything out of life that you maybe should have.
- I don't know how anybody could root for the San Antonio Spurs. You have the world's most boring superstar surrounded by a bunch of commies and some ooh la la frenchman who probably smells like Drakkar. Gross.
- Speaking of Drakkar, Memphis is about to be up 3-1 on the Spurs tonight and I can't help but a feel a bit of a pang of jealousy. I know this would be their first playoff series win ever, and they picked up their first playoff win ever earlier, and I also know the Wolves did have that nice run the conference finals, but Memphis being successful when the Wolves are in the pooper makes me, and baby jesus, cry. How can Zach Randolph become a leader? How can a backcourt of O.J. Mayo, Mike Conley, and Tony Allen do, well, anything? And the Wolves are not just worse, but significantly worse. That feels like a place to end. Plus I have to go stab myself in the temple with a crossbow quarrel, but before I go I want to leave with this piece of wisdom...."The eyes are the groin of the head."
- Wait, I just realized I didn't even put a picture in here. So here's a pic of Alison Brie. Top 10, easy. Should also drive some traffic because cash money ya'll.
- Tip o' the ole cap to our buddy Grandslam for bringing this to my attention, but guess how much money Kyle Lohse is going to make this year. Go ahead, guess. You're way low. It's $12 million. Nope, not in his career, but this year alone Lohse will make $12 mother-effing million dollars. And in 2009 and 2010 combined he made about $16 million to deliver right around a combined 200 below-average innings to the Cardinals. This, my friends, would be why you don't suddenly throw a 4-year, $41 million extension at a pitcher with a history of mediocrity simply because he has one slighly above average season, especially when advanced metrics can tell you, if you take the time to put down the binoculars and game worn miniature scorebook pencil, that he was a little bit lucky and you can fully expect him to regress back to the same mediocre pitcher.
Now Lohse is off to a 3-1 start and coming off a gem of a 2-hit shutout against Washington (WASHINGTON!!), and has a low ERA and WHIP, but honestly you don't need advanced metrics to tell you he's not that good (note: he's been very, very lucky so far). He's an average pitcher at best who has just enough of a live arm that he's going to jump up and give you a good start or two here or there - he did it for the Twins, he did it for the Phillies, and he's done it before for these very same Cardinals. But guess what? There's not a chance in hell he's worth $12 million.
Want to know the best part? When they extended him they also gave him a full no-trade clause. L-O-freaking-L. Who's running this team, McHale? I'm expecting another extension any day.
- And since we are on the subject of former Twins' pitcher who define mediocrity (or worse) guess who currently has a no-hitter through five innings against the Yankees? Phil freaking Humber. I know there's no way this can last more than another batter or two, but could there possibly be a bigger kick in the nuts? Player acquired for former superstar who the team couldn't afford to keep who washes out pitches a no-hitter for a hated division rival against the old team's arch nemisis that's bounced them from the playoffs the last three times they've been there? Honestly, the only way you could possibly make this worse is to have it be a playoff game. But yeah, this will do. Ouch.
- Greivis Vasquez plays a meaningful role for the Grizzlies? I had no idea (but I guess why would I when it pertains to the Memphis NBA team). I've been watching this game for about four game minutes and he's hit two buckets as well as a three-pointer. I think he might be MVP.
- Humber now through six. Still hitless. If he can get through the seventh (Granderson, Texeira, A-Rod) he'll have a chance. Of course, that still lives Cano. Wait. I got it. He's going get all the way to the last out, which will be Jeter. Jeter will break it up. All announcers/journalists everywhere will collectively mess their shorts to race to their typewriters to write up an article about how tough he is and his intangibles. One journalist will out-crazy them all by writing about how he believes "some part of Jeter really didn't want to break that up, because he knew what a great story it was, but he's such a competitor that the though of lying down never crossed his mind." Book it.
- I just realized A.J. Burnett is on the other side of this, and he's only allowed 2 hits and one run. This is like bizarro-world. There must be a five-hundred mile per hour wind blowing in, the infield grass must be three times longer than normal, and whoever is umping home plate obviously is calling everything a strike tonight. That has to be it, no?
- Moment of silence of Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes, who died nine years ago today. You may remember her as the crazy as shit broad from TLC who burned down Andre Rison's house, but what you might not remember is that Andre Rison died exactly four years ago today. Creepy, right? But I should mention that I actually have no idea if Andre Rison is dead or alive, and if he is dead he probably didn't die on this date. But he could have, and that's creepy.
- I just read that a judge or something lifted the NFL lockout. I'm not going to lie to you. I have no idea what this means. All I know is I want scab players in at least one NFL game. Come on. Tell me you don't want to see Adam Weber throw a TD pass to some 33-year old slob who was selling cars or schlepping concrete last year. How much fun would it be to go through the rosters and see guys you remember as the third WR on Michigan in 2002 and be all like, "Ronald Bellamy! I remember that guy! He's a fag!" Seriously, it would be like Christmas.
- A-Rod breaks up the no-hitter with one down in the 7th. I feel both relieved and saddened at the same time.
- That Joe Mauer/Troy Polamolu commercial creeps me out.
- I know what you're wondering. You're wondering what's going on with the NBDL right now. Well I'll tell you. They've reached the finals (which is a best of three affair) and the Iowa Energy are up on the Rio Grande Valley Vipers after taking game one by a score of 123-109. Iowa was led by Curtis "The Curt Man" Stinson who notched a triple-double (29-10-10). Also apparently Stinson was MVP of the D-League. How proud of that would you be? I'd say it's kind of like getting into Harvard and getting a communications degree. I mean, it's better than slinging crack or living off welfare, but even so you gotta feel like you didn't quite get everything out of life that you maybe should have.
- I don't know how anybody could root for the San Antonio Spurs. You have the world's most boring superstar surrounded by a bunch of commies and some ooh la la frenchman who probably smells like Drakkar. Gross.
- Speaking of Drakkar, Memphis is about to be up 3-1 on the Spurs tonight and I can't help but a feel a bit of a pang of jealousy. I know this would be their first playoff series win ever, and they picked up their first playoff win ever earlier, and I also know the Wolves did have that nice run the conference finals, but Memphis being successful when the Wolves are in the pooper makes me, and baby jesus, cry. How can Zach Randolph become a leader? How can a backcourt of O.J. Mayo, Mike Conley, and Tony Allen do, well, anything? And the Wolves are not just worse, but significantly worse. That feels like a place to end. Plus I have to go stab myself in the temple with a crossbow quarrel, but before I go I want to leave with this piece of wisdom...."The eyes are the groin of the head."
- Wait, I just realized I didn't even put a picture in here. So here's a pic of Alison Brie. Top 10, easy. Should also drive some traffic because cash money ya'll.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Thursday Things
Random thoughts on a Thursday evening, as I sit here with a couple of Coors Light tallboys. No, I'm not abandoning your precious 6 things format, but I can't sit here just married to it, night after night. I'm sorry I'm not like you and can't just have the same thing over and over, night after night. Some of us need a little variety. A little newness. So settle down.
By the way, I have Friday off. Do you?
SUCKA MC!!
- I'm sitting here watching Alexi Casilla flail away haplessly at yet another pitch, it strikes me that this Casilla/Tolbert combo must be one of the absolute worst offensive double-play combos of all time. So let's play around with baseball-reference.
Casilla's career OPS+ is 68. Tolbert's is 72. According to BR, there have been 134 seasons where a player had an OPS+ of 72 or less while playing 2b 75% of the time and acquiring 500 plate appearances, and using those same parameters we come up with 238 shortstops. The question is, did any of those 2b's play with an of those SS's, or, if they hit at their career averages, do the Twins have the worst offensive double play combination in history?
I'll save you some suspense. I found 16 teams where the SS and 2B both had an OPS+ of 72 or worse, so the Casilla/Tolbert combination is only one of the 16 worst in history - not THE worst. BUT. 14 of those come from pre-1980 teams. Back when nobody even gave a crap if your middle infield could even hit the ball out of the infield as long as they could field their position well. Since 1980, only two teams (2003 Dodgers with Alex Cora (67) and Cesar Izturis (60) and the 2007 Giants with Ray Durham (64) and Omar Vizquel (60)) had a worse hitting middle infield than the Twins. So yes, in case anybody asks you can feel comfortable telling them this Twins combo is the third worst since 1980. Comforting.
- Speaking of shitty baseball players I'm really sick of Austin Jackson, who is on my fantasy team. The guy has zero plate discipline and apparently almost zero ability to actually make contact when he swings. Now I'm not against strikeouts per se, despite their being fascist, but when you have a player who strikes out a ton you expect to get a little bit of power along with it. Not so with Mr. Jackson, who struck out 170 times last year while countering with just four home runs (and this year he's at 24 to 1). Bizarre, right? Let's check Mr. Baseball-Reference again.
Prior to Jackson last year, the fewest home runs hit by a player with 170 strikeouts or more was 13 by Jose Hernandez in 2003. Next fewest was Mark Bellhorn with 17 in 2004, then Curtis Granderson's 19 in 2006. The fewest home runs by a player with 160 strikeouts was Mickey Tettleton with 15 in 1990. 150 strikeouts was Delino DeShields with 10 in 1991. In fact, the most strikeouts by a player with 4 or less home runs was Michael Bourn, who struck out 140 times with just 3 home runs in 2009. Simply put, Jackson is about to become the world's greatest strikeout artist with no power, because he's going to pretty much repeat last season's numbers. Only 8 players have ever hit five or less home runs while striking out at least 125 times, including that illustrious firecracker Vince Coleman, and only Gary Pettis has done it twice. Can Jackson match the feat of Gary George Pettis? It's exciting, isn't it?
- I'm pretty sure if there's a heaven, at least one of the main rivers is made up of Buffalo Wild Wing's Spicy Garlic sauce. Not their version of the Nile or the Amazon or the Mississippi, because those are probably reserved for booze, but maybe like the Congo or the Mekong.
- Former Twin Kyle Lohse pitched a hell of a game today, specifically a 2-hit shutout. I was going to write more about it but really who the hell cares? He's a completely average pitcher who occasionally has moments of brilliance, like today, just like he was 10 years ago or whatever on the Twins and just like ten million other pitchers in the major leagues. God he's so boring. He's like the pitcher version of a MASH episode.
- Jesus christ is Parks and Recreation funny. Community is awfully good too, but there's nothing better than Parks and Rec right now. It's knock it out of the park funny every time. I think the five funniest characters in tv history are Ron Swanson, April Ludgate, Tom Haverford, Rob Lowe's character, and Bill Haverchuck. Four of them are from Parks and Rec. And Andy Dwyer is a runner-up, and we haven't even gotten to comedic genius Amy Poehler yet. Really, if you're not watching this show you're a god damn idiot.
- How does Chris Bosh only get 6 rebounds in 41 minutes? Both Wade and LeBron grabbed more rebounds than him, when really his biggest role on that team should be "rebound getter guy." Ugh. He's so lame.
- ohmygodohmygodohmygod you guys I am so freaking excited right now. Mrs. W just showed me a video (settle down, pervs) of a movie coming out this summer from SyFy called Swamp Shark about, well, a shark in a swamp. It stars D.B. "shoeless joe" Sweeney and Kristy "hotter than fire or at least I used to be" Swanson (who was also in Red Water which I desperately want to blog but is apparently never ever ever replayed on tv even though it had Coolio as an evil mastermind in it) which is simply an awesome pairing of two awesome people. I don't know if I could come up with a better male and female lead for a crappy SyFy shark movie. I'm like Jessie Spano on caffeine pills right now. Here's the trailer but I want to warn you - you're going to end up with a boner.
Also I think we should all think of Kristy Swanson like this:
And pay no attention to any pictures of her from the last few years because hey, sometimes life gets in the way of being hot. I'm sure she'll bring her A game for Swamp Shark. I mean, she'd have to in order to beat out all the other actresses who were no doubt clamoring for that role.
- So I came up with this formula to calculate how likely a player is to get a hit in any given at-bat against a pitcher and using that info can calculate games where a player is particularly unlikely to get a hit and then wager on such, usually at a 2-to-1 payout or so if they don't. I have to tell you it's nerve-wracking, especially when some dickhole (F you Melky Cabrera and Dan Uggla) is hitless all game and then gets one in the ninth. Like right now I just watched a relatively meaningless Ryan Howard at-bat, but because I have him to get NO hit at +170 I was riveted, even though it's the 4th inning. It's good, and it's bad.
- Speaking of gambling, here are my season futures this year:
- Oh crap I guess I should mention something here about Colton Iverson transferring to Colorado State. So here, "Colton Iverson is transferring to Colorado State." I can't think of anything else to write. I'd rather have him here than there, but if you were to ask me if I care I'm not entirely sure I could even muster a "meh." Maybe just a "m".
- I know Christina Aguilera has put on some weight lately, but I have to be honest with you - all the reports of her becoming a total drunk mess have me bumping her up in my rankings, extra weight or not.
- You know what's a great snack mix? Corn nuts and soy nuts. Outstanding. Throw some sunflower seeds in there and you have a little bit of heaven.
- Finally, I started reading Sid Hartman's latest column on startribune.com, and I just can't resist. Let's break this down a little bit, Sid's writings in bold.
By the way, I have Friday off. Do you?
SUCKA MC!!
- I'm sitting here watching Alexi Casilla flail away haplessly at yet another pitch, it strikes me that this Casilla/Tolbert combo must be one of the absolute worst offensive double-play combos of all time. So let's play around with baseball-reference.
Casilla's career OPS+ is 68. Tolbert's is 72. According to BR, there have been 134 seasons where a player had an OPS+ of 72 or less while playing 2b 75% of the time and acquiring 500 plate appearances, and using those same parameters we come up with 238 shortstops. The question is, did any of those 2b's play with an of those SS's, or, if they hit at their career averages, do the Twins have the worst offensive double play combination in history?
I'll save you some suspense. I found 16 teams where the SS and 2B both had an OPS+ of 72 or worse, so the Casilla/Tolbert combination is only one of the 16 worst in history - not THE worst. BUT. 14 of those come from pre-1980 teams. Back when nobody even gave a crap if your middle infield could even hit the ball out of the infield as long as they could field their position well. Since 1980, only two teams (2003 Dodgers with Alex Cora (67) and Cesar Izturis (60) and the 2007 Giants with Ray Durham (64) and Omar Vizquel (60)) had a worse hitting middle infield than the Twins. So yes, in case anybody asks you can feel comfortable telling them this Twins combo is the third worst since 1980. Comforting.
- Speaking of shitty baseball players I'm really sick of Austin Jackson, who is on my fantasy team. The guy has zero plate discipline and apparently almost zero ability to actually make contact when he swings. Now I'm not against strikeouts per se, despite their being fascist, but when you have a player who strikes out a ton you expect to get a little bit of power along with it. Not so with Mr. Jackson, who struck out 170 times last year while countering with just four home runs (and this year he's at 24 to 1). Bizarre, right? Let's check Mr. Baseball-Reference again.
Prior to Jackson last year, the fewest home runs hit by a player with 170 strikeouts or more was 13 by Jose Hernandez in 2003. Next fewest was Mark Bellhorn with 17 in 2004, then Curtis Granderson's 19 in 2006. The fewest home runs by a player with 160 strikeouts was Mickey Tettleton with 15 in 1990. 150 strikeouts was Delino DeShields with 10 in 1991. In fact, the most strikeouts by a player with 4 or less home runs was Michael Bourn, who struck out 140 times with just 3 home runs in 2009. Simply put, Jackson is about to become the world's greatest strikeout artist with no power, because he's going to pretty much repeat last season's numbers. Only 8 players have ever hit five or less home runs while striking out at least 125 times, including that illustrious firecracker Vince Coleman, and only Gary Pettis has done it twice. Can Jackson match the feat of Gary George Pettis? It's exciting, isn't it?
- I'm pretty sure if there's a heaven, at least one of the main rivers is made up of Buffalo Wild Wing's Spicy Garlic sauce. Not their version of the Nile or the Amazon or the Mississippi, because those are probably reserved for booze, but maybe like the Congo or the Mekong.
- Former Twin Kyle Lohse pitched a hell of a game today, specifically a 2-hit shutout. I was going to write more about it but really who the hell cares? He's a completely average pitcher who occasionally has moments of brilliance, like today, just like he was 10 years ago or whatever on the Twins and just like ten million other pitchers in the major leagues. God he's so boring. He's like the pitcher version of a MASH episode.
- Jesus christ is Parks and Recreation funny. Community is awfully good too, but there's nothing better than Parks and Rec right now. It's knock it out of the park funny every time. I think the five funniest characters in tv history are Ron Swanson, April Ludgate, Tom Haverford, Rob Lowe's character, and Bill Haverchuck. Four of them are from Parks and Rec. And Andy Dwyer is a runner-up, and we haven't even gotten to comedic genius Amy Poehler yet. Really, if you're not watching this show you're a god damn idiot.
- How does Chris Bosh only get 6 rebounds in 41 minutes? Both Wade and LeBron grabbed more rebounds than him, when really his biggest role on that team should be "rebound getter guy." Ugh. He's so lame.
- ohmygodohmygodohmygod you guys I am so freaking excited right now. Mrs. W just showed me a video (settle down, pervs) of a movie coming out this summer from SyFy called Swamp Shark about, well, a shark in a swamp. It stars D.B. "shoeless joe" Sweeney and Kristy "hotter than fire or at least I used to be" Swanson (who was also in Red Water which I desperately want to blog but is apparently never ever ever replayed on tv even though it had Coolio as an evil mastermind in it) which is simply an awesome pairing of two awesome people. I don't know if I could come up with a better male and female lead for a crappy SyFy shark movie. I'm like Jessie Spano on caffeine pills right now. Here's the trailer but I want to warn you - you're going to end up with a boner.
Also I think we should all think of Kristy Swanson like this:
And pay no attention to any pictures of her from the last few years because hey, sometimes life gets in the way of being hot. I'm sure she'll bring her A game for Swamp Shark. I mean, she'd have to in order to beat out all the other actresses who were no doubt clamoring for that role.
- So I came up with this formula to calculate how likely a player is to get a hit in any given at-bat against a pitcher and using that info can calculate games where a player is particularly unlikely to get a hit and then wager on such, usually at a 2-to-1 payout or so if they don't. I have to tell you it's nerve-wracking, especially when some dickhole (F you Melky Cabrera and Dan Uggla) is hitless all game and then gets one in the ninth. Like right now I just watched a relatively meaningless Ryan Howard at-bat, but because I have him to get NO hit at +170 I was riveted, even though it's the 4th inning. It's good, and it's bad.
- Speaking of gambling, here are my season futures this year:
- Jayson Werth OVER 21.5 home runs
- Joakim Soria OVER 34.5 saves
- Mark Reynolds OVER 30.5 home runs
- Nelson Cruz OVER 27.5 home runs
- Jayson Heyward UNDER 23.5 home runs
- Adam Dunn OVER 35.5 home runs
- Ryan Zimmerman OVER 26.5 home runs
- Carlos Pena OVER 27.5 home runs
- Jose Bautista OVER 29.5 home runs
- Shin Soo Choo OVER 156.5 hits
- Justin Verlander OVER 15.5 wins
- Joe Mauer OVER 164.5 hits
- Ichiro OVER 197.5 hits
- Josh Johnson OVER 13.5 wins
- David Price OVER 15.5 wins
- Clayton Kershaw OVER 13.5 wins
- Clay Buchholz OVER 14.5 wins
- Troy Tulowitzki OVER 28.5 home runs
- Phillies UNDER 96.5 wins
- Marlins OVER 82.5 wins
- Red Sox UNDER 96.5 wins
- Cubs OVER 82.5 wins
- A's OVER 83.5 wins
- Orioles UNDER 77.5 wins
- Oh crap I guess I should mention something here about Colton Iverson transferring to Colorado State. So here, "Colton Iverson is transferring to Colorado State." I can't think of anything else to write. I'd rather have him here than there, but if you were to ask me if I care I'm not entirely sure I could even muster a "meh." Maybe just a "m".
- I know Christina Aguilera has put on some weight lately, but I have to be honest with you - all the reports of her becoming a total drunk mess have me bumping her up in my rankings, extra weight or not.
- You know what's a great snack mix? Corn nuts and soy nuts. Outstanding. Throw some sunflower seeds in there and you have a little bit of heaven.
- Finally, I started reading Sid Hartman's latest column on startribune.com, and I just can't resist. Let's break this down a little bit, Sid's writings in bold.
The Vikings seem to have a strong interest in securing a veteran quarterback once the NFL lockout ends.
I'm not entirely certain, but the fact that the QBs on the roster are Joe Webb, Patrick Ramsey, and Rhett Bomar make it seem like they may need somebody else
It also might be possible the Vikings and Redskins have had some conversations about a deal for 34-year-old quarterback Donovan McNabb, who definitely won't be a member of his current team once play resumes.
I'm definitely not saying anything with any certainty but possibly maybe it could be in the realm of existence that the Vikings have talked to the Redskins about Donovan McNabb. I think I read that somewhere.
Of course, no deals can be made while the lockout is in progress, but I don't know if there is any rule against the clubs talking about making a deal.
I don't know if there are any rules against it, and this paper for some reason has a strict policy against looking things up or even asking someone who might know the answer. Of course, to do either of those things I'd have to figure out this computating machine or the communication device on my desk.
One reason why McNabb might be the veteran quarterback the team will sign is because Vikings coach Leslie Frazier is personally familiar with McNabb. Frazier was a defensive assistant with the Eagles from 1999 to 2002, when McNabb was in his prime.
Way back in 2002, back when the Patriots were a Super Bowl underdog, the New Jersey Nets made the NBA Finals, the Indiana Hoosiers made the Final Four, and Mike Tyson still held a championship belt. But I'm assuming with Frazier being on board, McNabb should be about the same player he was back then.
Last season, Shanahan's first year as the Redskins coach, McNabb played in 13 games, completed 275 of 472 passes for 3,377 yards, a 58.3 completion percentage and an average of 7.2 yards per attempt. He threw for 14 touchdowns, 15 interceptions and a 77.1 passer rating.
AAAh numbers! What are you, some kind of nerd? Sports aren't played by computers or numbers or stats, they're played by people. And Donovan McNabb is a people.
The big problem might be McNabb's contract, which calls for the Redskins to pick up McNabb's $10 million option if he is on the Redskins' 53-man roster the day after the first regular-season game. McNabb's base salary for the 2011 season, if it is played, is reported to be $2.5 million, but jumps to $12.75 million in 2012.
My head hurts.
I'm sure the Vikings would not deal for McNabb unless they could redo his contract. They are not going to pay that kind of money to a 34-year-old quarterback who is at the tail end of his career.
Sounds like a dare.
ESPN correspondent Adam Schefter wrote on Twitter on Saturday that he "believes McNabb would like to play for the Vikings" next year.
What's twitter? Is that on the computationalator?
No doubt the plan is to sign a veteran quarterback, draft another and try to develop Joe Webb into the future starter.
What happened to all this "I'm not entirely certain" talk? Now we've moved to no doubt?
Jerry Kill continues to coach the Gophers football team without a contract. Apparently University of Minnesota lawyers and Kill's agent can't agree on some of the clauses in the contract.
And I absolutely refuse to expound on this further. I know stuff and you don't. Neener neener neener.
Basketball coach Tubby Smith's lawyers still are trying to reach an agreement on an extension. Baseball coach John Anderson, who won the Big Ten title a year ago and advanced to the NCAA tournament, is operating on his old contract without any new negotiations taking place.
This is the part where I don't know where I am and forgot what I'm supposed to be writing about. Since I just re-read the thing about the Gopher football coach, I'm just going to mention the only other two Gopher coaches whose names I remember.
Former Twins shortstop Orlando Cabrera is one of the big reasons for the Cleveland Indians' early success and first-place standing in the American League Central entering Wednesday's games. The 36-year-old is hitting .262, and his 11 RBI is second on the team. He's also hit two home runs this season after hitting five in all of 2009 for the Twins and four for Cincinnati last year.
He's hitting .257, has walked all of twice in 72 plate appearances, and outside of those two precious home runs has one extra base hit. His OPS+ of 86 actually says he's been a significantly below average hitter this year, equivalent to what Michael Cuddyer has done for the Twins so far this year (pre-tonight's home run). But keep clinging to those 11 RBI, which are more a product of hitting behind Travis Hafner, Carlos Santana, and Michael Brantley - all of whom can't stop getting on base. And how dare he hit more home runs for Cleveland than for the Twins. He'll never work in this town again.
... Jon Rauch, who the Twins declined to keep after the 2010 season and instead signed a $3.5 million deal with Toronto, is 1-1 with a 2.35 ERA and three saves for the Blue Jays.
He also has a 5/4 strikeout-to-walk ratio and an insanely lucky BABIP. He sucks. And is lucky.
Another pair of relievers the Twins let go last winter are doing well with their new teams. Jesse Crain has been fantastic for the Chicago White Sox, posting an 0-1 record and a 1.93 ERA in 9 1/3 innings pitched, with 11 strikeouts and only two walks.
And has been a huge part of two bullpen meltdowns that lead to Sox's losses.
Former Twins utility player Nick Punto appeared in his first game of the season for the St. Louis Cardinals on Wednesday, taking a walk as a pinch hitter in the sixth inning. Punto had been on the disabled list because of a sports hernia.
A real tough-guy, hard-nosed, gritty, hustley, gamer injury probably suffered by sliding into first base.
... J.J. Hardy, who was hurt a great deal in his one season with the Twins last year, has been placed on the 15-day disabled list by the Baltimore Orioles because of a muscle strain. Hardy was off to a somewhat slow start for the Orioles, hitting .200 (3-for-15) through six games, but all three hits were doubles.
Not a gamer. Pussy.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
News y Notes
Rodney Williams and Royce White: Yes, I'm lumping them together. It's their fault for being so similar and for playing on the same AAU team. Anyway, the Howard Pulley team travelled to Kansas this weekend for a tournament, and here's a couple of reviews from two different Scout writers on both of them from Friday night's game:
Damn, these two are sounding better and better. Hopefully Royce can use his influence to get Rodney to sign on with the U as well. Oh, wait. I forgot Rodney had some academic issues last year. We don't want kids like that at our school. Guess we should forget it. I hear there's some white kid with a 4.0 who averages 8 points per game available though. Hopefully we can beat out Northwestern for him.
Verdell Jones: More on the recruiting front, Verdell Jones cancelled a scheduled visit to the U of Arizona this weekend, despite receiving a scholarship offer from them following the departure of Jerryd Bayless. Standing in the way is incoming freshman Brandon Jennings, the number one PG recruit in the country, and if his play in the McDonald's game was any indication, a hell of a player. Jones is expected to announce his decision Monday, and according to Scout, Minnesota is "the prohibitive favorite." Sounds good. Bring him aboard.
Delmon Young: As if in response to my post yesterday about how much he sucks, Delmon went ahead and 2-5 to show me how good he is. Not so fast. His hits were a seeing eye groundball between third and short and another ground ball back up the middle that the Detroit pitcher couldn't handle. Yes, two more groundballs. His outs? Two more groundouts and a strikeout. Four balls put into play, four balls on the ground. Pay attention to this next time you watch a Twins game. It's crazy. Speaking of the Twins, we were linked by AaronGleeman.com, the best Twins blog on the interweb. If you haven't checked it out, do so now.
Francisco Liriano: Liriano made his first start down in Rochester on Wednesday, and it's not good. Not good at all. He only went 4 and 1/3, giving up four earned runs to go along with five hits and a red-light flashing five walks. According to the radio, he threw 94 total pitches, just 51 for strikes. He's basically lost not only a lot of his velocity and pitch movement, but now his command of the strike zone. I'm afraid his confidence is shot and at this point he's afraid to throw strikes, thanks in large part to him being rushed back to the majors way to early. In this article at mlb.com they have some quotes from Liriano which make it clear that he is happy to be back in AAA, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Even worse was this quote from Francisco, "I don't know what I'm doing." Yikes. I'm still holding out hope he can make it back to at least be a serviceable starter. To say I'm concerned right now would be putting it mildly.
Johan Santana: Wondering how Johan is faring over in the NL. I'll admit, I haven't been paying as much attention as I thought I would, even though he is on the Sidler and I's fantasy team. He's just 3-2, which, to the crowd that evaluates pitchers based on wins and losses isn't that great, but some of his other stats are looking very strong, including a 3.12 ERA and a 0.92 WHIP. He's still struggling with the long ball, sitting at 1.56 HR/9 this season, the worst of his career. He's been able to have such a low WHIP due to a really low BB/9 of 1.79 - which would be the second lowest of his career - and a low OAVG of .203. I'm guessing he'll fade a bit based on the lowest K-rate of his career (8.7 per 9) and an absurdly low .227 BABIP (batting average balls in play) which will likely go up. Although he's getting 47% of the balls hit against him on the ground, versus a career total of 38%, so maybe he's just turned over a new leaf. In any case, he's awesome and I miss him so much it hurts sometimes.
Kyle Lohse: Speaking of former Twins who are dominating the NL, how about this guy with the Cardinals? In six starts he's 3-0 with a 2.36 ERA and a 1.16 WHIP. Other than his low strikeout rate, everything else looks good. Can he keep it up? I doubt it, but just looking at the stats, it's scarily possible.
Dylan Hale: Lastly, I wanted to mention this guy. A commentor mentioned him in a couple of different posts, and I hadn't heard of him, so I figured I'd look him up. He plays for St Paul Central, and Rivals doesn't even have him in their database while Scout has him as a 1-star SG, with no other info. They don't even have his height and weight listed. Looking at Maxpreps, he is 6-2, and averged 17 points, 4.5 rebounds, 3 assists, and 2 steals per game last season as a junior, which included a 39 point outburst against Arlington, whatever that is. On the season he shot 60% from the floor, including 57% from three. Since he's not really on the recruiting radar right now, there isn't a whole lot of info on him, but what I can find makes it clear he's a big-time shooter with great range. I have no idea if he's D-I material or not, but I'll be watching for his name.
Rodney Williams, SG, Howard Pulley – Indiana Elite quickly found out what Williams does best -- dunk the ball. The 6-foot-4 wing attacked the basket and threw down dunk after dunk. To go with his incredible hops, Williams showed improvement on his jumper by knocking down a handful of three pointers. He went for 27 points in a close win over Indy Elite.
Rodney Williams - Those who have seen him play before have thrown out the theory that the springy 6-6 wing from the Minneapolis area is the top run and jump athlete in the class of 2009, those who saw him in action Friday night won’t disagree. After signing a few pre-game autographs, the slender wing came out and hit a deep three before beginning his assault on the rims. He dunked off the drive, he dunked in peoples faces and he dunked in transition. When he wasn’t dunking, he sported a much improved handle and more aggressive attitude which is a great sign.
Royce White, PF, Howard Pulley – His AAU coach said it wasn’t his best game, however we were still impressed with what White was able to get done against Indy Elite’s big men. The 6-foot-7 forward faced up defenders, knocked down threes and attacked the basket. He was aggressive the entire contest and put up 19 points.
Royce White - Fresh off of his commitment to Minnesota, White was scoring in bunches Friday night. Armed with a good jumper that he’s very capable of hitting off the bounce, he’s a 6-7 combo forward who frustrates bigger guys with his ability to score off the dribble while taking smaller guys inside to dunk on them. Brimming with confidence, he’s playing terrific ball right now and teamed with Rodney Williams to carry Howard Pulley past a tough Indiana Elite One squad.
Damn, these two are sounding better and better. Hopefully Royce can use his influence to get Rodney to sign on with the U as well. Oh, wait. I forgot Rodney had some academic issues last year. We don't want kids like that at our school. Guess we should forget it. I hear there's some white kid with a 4.0 who averages 8 points per game available though. Hopefully we can beat out Northwestern for him.
Verdell Jones: More on the recruiting front, Verdell Jones cancelled a scheduled visit to the U of Arizona this weekend, despite receiving a scholarship offer from them following the departure of Jerryd Bayless. Standing in the way is incoming freshman Brandon Jennings, the number one PG recruit in the country, and if his play in the McDonald's game was any indication, a hell of a player. Jones is expected to announce his decision Monday, and according to Scout, Minnesota is "the prohibitive favorite." Sounds good. Bring him aboard.
Delmon Young: As if in response to my post yesterday about how much he sucks, Delmon went ahead and 2-5 to show me how good he is. Not so fast. His hits were a seeing eye groundball between third and short and another ground ball back up the middle that the Detroit pitcher couldn't handle. Yes, two more groundballs. His outs? Two more groundouts and a strikeout. Four balls put into play, four balls on the ground. Pay attention to this next time you watch a Twins game. It's crazy. Speaking of the Twins, we were linked by AaronGleeman.com, the best Twins blog on the interweb. If you haven't checked it out, do so now.
Francisco Liriano: Liriano made his first start down in Rochester on Wednesday, and it's not good. Not good at all. He only went 4 and 1/3, giving up four earned runs to go along with five hits and a red-light flashing five walks. According to the radio, he threw 94 total pitches, just 51 for strikes. He's basically lost not only a lot of his velocity and pitch movement, but now his command of the strike zone. I'm afraid his confidence is shot and at this point he's afraid to throw strikes, thanks in large part to him being rushed back to the majors way to early. In this article at mlb.com they have some quotes from Liriano which make it clear that he is happy to be back in AAA, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Even worse was this quote from Francisco, "I don't know what I'm doing." Yikes. I'm still holding out hope he can make it back to at least be a serviceable starter. To say I'm concerned right now would be putting it mildly.
Johan Santana: Wondering how Johan is faring over in the NL. I'll admit, I haven't been paying as much attention as I thought I would, even though he is on the Sidler and I's fantasy team. He's just 3-2, which, to the crowd that evaluates pitchers based on wins and losses isn't that great, but some of his other stats are looking very strong, including a 3.12 ERA and a 0.92 WHIP. He's still struggling with the long ball, sitting at 1.56 HR/9 this season, the worst of his career. He's been able to have such a low WHIP due to a really low BB/9 of 1.79 - which would be the second lowest of his career - and a low OAVG of .203. I'm guessing he'll fade a bit based on the lowest K-rate of his career (8.7 per 9) and an absurdly low .227 BABIP (batting average balls in play) which will likely go up. Although he's getting 47% of the balls hit against him on the ground, versus a career total of 38%, so maybe he's just turned over a new leaf. In any case, he's awesome and I miss him so much it hurts sometimes.
Kyle Lohse: Speaking of former Twins who are dominating the NL, how about this guy with the Cardinals? In six starts he's 3-0 with a 2.36 ERA and a 1.16 WHIP. Other than his low strikeout rate, everything else looks good. Can he keep it up? I doubt it, but just looking at the stats, it's scarily possible.
Dylan Hale: Lastly, I wanted to mention this guy. A commentor mentioned him in a couple of different posts, and I hadn't heard of him, so I figured I'd look him up. He plays for St Paul Central, and Rivals doesn't even have him in their database while Scout has him as a 1-star SG, with no other info. They don't even have his height and weight listed. Looking at Maxpreps, he is 6-2, and averged 17 points, 4.5 rebounds, 3 assists, and 2 steals per game last season as a junior, which included a 39 point outburst against Arlington, whatever that is. On the season he shot 60% from the floor, including 57% from three. Since he's not really on the recruiting radar right now, there isn't a whole lot of info on him, but what I can find makes it clear he's a big-time shooter with great range. I have no idea if he's D-I material or not, but I'll be watching for his name.
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