These MLB Playoffs are Pretty Neat, Guys (+ new Gopher BBall Commit)

Taking a break from the NCAA Hoops Previews to weight on on the baseball playoffs, an awesome collection of series so far.  I'm enjoying the hell out of this, and it helps that I have a ton of money down on futures (Tigers to win AL, Cards to win both NL and World Series not to mention loads of props on every game).  Seriously, it would be great if there was some kind of player rewards card for people who make way too many bets.

Speaking of, check out this information for more on players reward card.  Before I talk hardball, however, I would be remiss if I didn't at least mention that the Gopher hoops team picked up another recruit for 2013 in power forward Alex Foster, joining Alvin Ellis as a future Gopher.  Foster is a 6-8 skinny kid from Chicago who was thought of as one of the best players in Chicago way back when he was in 8th grade, but who has since tailed off a bit and is ranked by ESPN as a middle-of-the-road 3-star recruit (his other offers were from Tennessee and Nebraska, again according to ESPN).  The good news here is that he is super athletic, and with that pedigree (yes back to 8th grade but still) offers considerable upside.  Like Ellis he has been a target of the Gophers for quite some time, which means that even if Tubby isn't signing the greatest players he is at least able to get the guys he really wants to sign here.  Good, not great, signing, but at least things are moving in the right direction again, not to mention setting up a regular pipeline to Chicago (Ellis is also a Chicago kid) can only be a positive.

Also, quick, the reports on my new favorite Gopher Charles Buggs are in from the "Midnight" Madness scrimmage last Friday and by all accounts HE.  IS.  AWESOME.  Led all scorers with 10 pts on 4-4 shooting including 2-2 from 3 and grabbed 2 rebounds, plus was apparently one of the more impressive dunkers in the dunk contest?  Are you kidding me?  He's everything I always knew I always wanted.  I seriously can't wait.  We goin' Sizzla.  

Ok, now on to baseball and I'll start with the Wild Card.  From day one I was in favor of the change to two wild card teams per league with a 1-game playoff and I'm pretty sure I'm right.  I understand the criticisms many people had such as complaining that they were just trying to manufacture drama, that anything random can happen in a 1-game series so it was meaningless, and so on.  But the fact is, winning the Wild Card the last few years was basically the same as winning your division.  Other than not having home field advantage (and one division winner wouldn't have it anyway) and playing the best team (if that team happened to not be from your division) what was the difference?  Basically nil.  Now?  Winning the Wild Card puts you at a drastic disadvantage compared to a division winner because if you get hit with a bad call (Atlanta) or run into a hot pitcher (Texas) you're done.  I think it's awesome and if you don't I hope you get a stomach parasite.

The sucky thing about the Division Series is we lost all the interesting teams.  Only Oakland, Baltimore, Cincy, and Washington haven't been regular playoff fixtures in recent times, and all four lost.  I was glad, actually, to see Washington get bounced just because their decision to shut down Strasburg irked me so irksomely, but I would have loved to see Baltimore, Cincinnati, and/or Oakland advance just because it's more interesting than watching New York and Detroit again.  That being said, how great was it that every single series went the full five games?  And it wasn't just that they went down to sudden death, but how it all happened.  If even one of these scenarios happened this would have been an awesome round of the playoffs:

• St. Louis falls behind 6-0 in the third inning of Game 5 and are down to their final strike twice before rallying for four in the ninth to win their sixth straight elimination game.
• The underdog Orioles refuse to die and push the hated Yankees to the final game with two games going extra innings (back-to-back 12 and 13 inning affairs) and three total one-run games.
• Oakland scares the crap out of Detroit by winning games 3 & 4 after having been down 2-0, leading to Justin Verlander throwing one of the best games in playoff history (in Oakland no less) to advance the Tigers.
• The Giants lose the first two games at home, then win the next three in Cincinnati to knock out the Reds.

So yeah, it sucks that none of interesting teams are still left, but there's still plenty of interesting things going on here in the LCS's, including the incredibly enjoyable collapse of the Yankees.   Granderson and A-Rod are striking out at a World Record pace, but even they aren't hurting the team as much as Robinson Cano (who not only hasn't hit but also made a game killing error (I know it wasn't technically an error because you can't assume a double play but that was an error)) and Nick Swisher (who has been so awful both at the plate and in the field that he's definitely played his way out of New York and may have cut his contract in half both in terms of money and duration).  This has been great in so many ways, and I'm so glad the Yankees hit like crap in the Orioles series as well as this one, because otherwise this would be so set-up to add to the legend of Jeter.  This would all be blamed on them not having "The Captain" and everyone would be in boner mode.

Now I can see this series going one of two ways.  The best way would be that Justin Verlander completely shuts them in game 3 in near no-hitter fashion, they continue to desperately scramble at the plate and resort to crazy tactics (such as hit-and-running with Raul Ibanez and his Matthew LeCroy like speed) to try to score any runs at all and they end up getting swept while the world rejoices.  Or, because the Yankees are some evil demon and everyone knows that demons are notoriously hard to kill, they will somehow manage to destroy Verlander and end up winning this series in 7 games.  I know that would suck, but in another way it would be good to get to root against the Yankees for another series.  I'm still rooting for them to get swept here though, because they are dicks.

As for the NL, how freaking sweet must it be to be a Cards fan?  All they ever do is win.  In 2006 they won just 83 games but played in a crappy division so they won a playoff berth where they managed to beat two superior teams, setting up a World Series against the massively favored Detroit Tigers.  Naturally the Cards won by somehow getting the Tigers to make 8 errors in 5 games and holding them to a .199 batting average despite pitching dudes like Anthony Reyes, making them the worst team (record-wise) to ever win a World Series.  In 2011 they again made the series against the Rangers after qualifying for the Wild Card on the final day of the regular season and fell behind 3-2 and were twice down to their final strike before rallying to win and then won game 7 to take another World Series.  Now they were basically about to be eliminated by the Nationals but somehow turned it around to win that one as well.

I mean, enough is enough, right?  Stop rubbing it in, guys.  They're like the anti-Twins with their postseason play, not to mention that they lost the best hitter of the last 10 years to free agency, lost their starting first baseman (Lance Berkman) and starting shortstop (Rafael Furcal) to injury, and got just 20 starts from Jaime Garcia and 3 from Chris Carpenter, yet here they are.  I like the Giants and all, even without the usual Lincecum, but how can anybody fight that Redbird mojo?  It's a true law of nature like water or dinosaurs.  Sorry Giants, but you can't fight against dinosaurs.

MLB 2011 Mid-Year Check-In, Part 2

Part 1 was yesterday (scroll down, genius) where I talked about the good things so far this year in MLB.  Now here are the bad:



1.  Joe Mauer.  I just recently let lose with a little Mauer diatribe, so instead of simply rehashing what I already said you can read it by clicking here.  Of note:  since I wrote that he's gone 6-17 and raised his average 20 points and, if you can believe this, even hit a double.  That's two bases with one swing.  I couldn't believe it either.

2.  Derek Jeter.  Apparently being "too tired" to play when you're "star" is getting to be an epidemic because Derek Jeter, arguably the biggest "star" in baseball depending on how you want to define that, begged out of tonight's all-star game due to "exhaustion."  I personally don't really care who plays and who doesn't because the whole thing is really kind of stupid, but the most idiotic thing I've heard in a long time came from a caller on the radio today who tried to explain, "You people did nothing but complain that he didn't deserve to be voted into the game, and now, because he's such a class act, he decides not to play so Asdrubel Cabrera can start, and you rip him for that." 

Seriously, dumbass?  I'm sorry and I know you love him, but captain intangiibles isn't a shining greek god of virtue and I don't care how many barbecues he invites his teammates too or how often he has Robinson Cano sleep over at his house and they tag-team Minka Kelly.  Look, I get it - he's a decent looking, non-threatening dude who plays the game well, isn't overly cocky, doesn't show up opponents, and bangs lots of chicks.  But there's a guy like him on every team except the fucking evil White Sox, and nobody knows what he (they) are like off the field.  Jeter could very well be a serial killer rapist arsonist litterbug for all we know, but because that shit I wrote earlier plus he plays in the biggest market for the most famous team and people can't stop making love to excuses for anything he does.

It's like that dude who caught Jeter's 3,000th hit and gave it away for some autographed shit and box seats.  Noble?  Moral?  How the hell is that noble or moral when the guy has over $100k in debt?  You owe it to yourself to get your life in order (and yes I know it's student loans not credit card bills, which kind of makes this more depressing) with your once in a lifetime lottery winning baseball and you toss it away to make an empty gesture to a guy who will make more this year than you'll make in ten lifetimes, will bring in nearly $300 million total by the time his career his over in just salary (not counting endorsements) and likely wouldn't cross the street to piss on your face if it was about to be run over by a car?  Guess what?  He's already forgotten about you.  And that $100k you owe?  That's what he makes in a day.

You know how they say that the lottery is really just a tax on stupidity?  Well, it's now being reported that this guy might have to pay something like $14k in taxes on the "gifts" he got from the Yankees.  Now that's really a tax on stupidity. 

3.  Florida Marlins.  The Marlins were looking like they were going to be a very nice story this year.  Smallest payroll on the team at $35 million, a team that had to trade Dan freaking Uggla because he was too expensive, and suddenly they ripped out of the box with a 30-20 start, and behind Josh Johnson were looking like a nice NL East sleeper team.  Then Johnson got hurt, they couldn't sustain their early momentum, they lost 19 out of 20, Hanley Ramirez proved he's more lazy than leader, they fired their manager, and are now 43-48 and 14 games out of first (and it's only that good thanks to a 5-game winning streak going into the break).  Now all they're good for is laughing at any highlights of their home games because there are about 16 people there.

4.  The entire Twins' bullpen.  Honest to god, is it really that hard to have one guy who you can trust to get three outs?  Perkins is the only full-time reliever with an ERA under 4.40 and if you trust him you're dumber that got into my van the other night.  Cappsie's WHIP looks respectable, but unfortunately it's accompanied by one of the worst HR allowed rates on the team and he seems to be on a rapidly accelerating slide from mediocre to pathetic.  Nathan can be excused, at least mostly, but there's no real reason for Jose Mijares to be putting up career worst numbers (he has more walks than strikeouts for christ's sake) and Phil Dumatrait and Alex Burnett may as well just put the ball on a tee.  And if anybody does pitch well (Chuck James and Anthony Slama have thrown 7 combined innings of 1-hit ball) they're immediately shipped out.  I mean is it time to make Anthony Swarzak your #1 set-up guy now?  Has it really come to this? 

5.  Adam Dunn.  Another guy I've talked about here before, but it's impossible to ignore how bad he's been.  Dunn has always done three things:  strike out like crazy, walk constantly, and hit a ton of home runs.  Well this year he's striking out at an all-time high rate, walking far less than normal (second lowest of his career), and is well on pace to hit the fewest homers he's ever had in a season.  Even the hits he always got accidentally aren't falling this year, and he's also hitting nearly 100 points below his career mark at just .160.  He's on pace for just 15 homers with 204 strikeouts, which would be the fewest home runs (by 9) by a batter with 180 or more Ks.  His .160 would be the worst batting average by a player with over 180 Ks by 38 points, and his (on pace for) 59 RBI would be the lowest ever by 11.  We are talking a truly, epically, pathetically putrid season, and the Sox just signed him for four years and $56 million.  Awesome.  

6.  Royals starting pitching.  Kansas City seems to be going the right way on the offensive side of the ball - Hosmer looks good, Butler is solid, Gordon seems to be figuring it out, and they got all those other prospects on the way.  On the hill, however, they have some of the worst arms in history, and that's why they couldn't sustain their semi-hot start.  Three of the five worst WHIPs among starting pitchers with at least 50 innings belong to Royals:  Kyle Davies (1.92), Sean O'Sullivan (1.78), and Danny Duffy (1.64).  Duffy, at least, is clearly part of their future (assuming he develops) but if that's the strategy then retreads who suck like Jeff Francis and Bruce Chen don't make much sense either.   

7.  Twins' injuries.  You guys ever wonder what's going on with the Twins and how many games they miss due to injury?  Doesn't it seem pretty ridiculous, like something must be wrong?  Morneau missed the entire second half of last year with a concussion and Denard Span is chasing his games missed record.  Meanwhile 1-2 weeks seems pretty standard.  Mauer has missed 2-months this year with some bizarre, mysterious injuries and it's not the first time he's done that.  Then you have Kubel, who has now missed a month and a half with an injured foot, and is expected to miss another 1-2 weeks post all-streak, and I'm pretty sure Delmon Young has missed a couple weeks on two separate occasions this year - once due to being cold and once due to being tired.  I just don't get it, man.  Either this team has the worst trainers in the world or is the biggest collection of babies outside of a lactation convention.

8.  Ubaldo Jimenez.  It's always kind of tough to trust one-year wonders, especially starting pitchers, and Ubaldo is showing you why.  After maybe one of the most impressive first halves of a season in recent baseball history he started to fade late last year and has continued that slide right into a mediocre, irrelevant, mid-rotation pitcher.  His numbers this year (4.14 ERA/1.30 WHIP) are nearly identical to Carl Pavano's (albeit with far more Ks and BBs).  This from the same dude who finished 3rd last year NL Cy Young voting, so consider if Johan Santana was here in his prime and suddenly turned into Carl Pavano.  You know, like Scott Erickson.

9.  Jim Riggleman.  I dig this because it's one of the most awesome examples of someone not nearly understanding how much value and leverage (or lack thereof) they actually have.  He's always been a terrible manager (career:  662-824) with just two winning seasons and one playoff appearance out of 10 tries.  He was signed as the Nationals manager, and appropriate match of awful to awful, and in this, the third year of his contract, he managed to get them to win 11 of 12 games and was pushing for management to sign off on his extension for next year (despite their overall record of 27-36 before that streak).  Management, wisely, chose not to do so at that point and so Riggleman resigned.  Full on jackassery, all the way around. 

10.  Clay Buchholz.  If you're sitting there still waiting for Buchholz to put it all together and become the stud he's seemed destined to become, get in line.  I swear I've drafted this hippie every year in fantasy baseball, and every year he turns out to be as brittle as Ralph Sampson's confidence.  Last year he looked like he might finally have done it, making 28 starts and registering a 2.33 ERA (2nd in the league), but after a rough start this year where he was allowing homers at a Matt Cappsian rate he's once again out with a back injury.  He's supposed to be ready soon after the break, but for those of us who have followed his career way too closely we know that's a dirty lie.


Finally, this is where I'd tell you to expect Grandslam to come in with his British Open preview at some point this week but I just asked him if he was going to do one and he said, "No, the Open is stupid played on stupid courses and you can't predict anything."

Nice expert.  As such, I'll at least try to get up some thoughts on this Wednesday night, but I have a pretty big work function that's expected to go from 6-10pm (at the earliest) so the odds aren't great.  I promise I'll try.  Unlike most of the Twins.

Monday's Musings

I promise that I plan to get back to doing the week in review type posts every Monday, but Easter weekend was hectic as all hell and by the time I finally got to sit down on a stupid computer it was late Sunday and I just didn't have the energy or care enough to slap together something.  Plus, that wouldn't live up to the fine tradition I've started here of high quality postings every single time.  I couldn't possibly betray you that way, gentle reader, so I just didn't type up anything.  Instead I'll just put together my thoughts into this evening's post.  Just like this:

-  Tip o' the ole cap to our buddy Grandslam for bringing this to my attention, but guess how much money Kyle Lohse is going to make this year.  Go ahead, guess.  You're way low.  It's $12 million.  Nope, not in his career, but this year alone Lohse will make $12 mother-effing million dollars.  And in 2009 and 2010 combined he made about $16 million to deliver right around a combined 200 below-average innings to the Cardinals.  This, my friends, would be why you don't suddenly throw a 4-year, $41 million extension at a pitcher with a history of mediocrity simply because he has one slighly above average season, especially when advanced metrics can tell you, if you take the time to put down the binoculars and game worn miniature scorebook pencil, that he was a little bit lucky and you can fully expect him to regress back to the same mediocre pitcher.

Now Lohse is off to a 3-1 start and coming off a gem of a 2-hit shutout against Washington (WASHINGTON!!), and has a low ERA and WHIP, but honestly you don't need advanced metrics to tell you he's not that good (note:  he's been very, very lucky so far).  He's an average pitcher at best who has just enough of a live arm that he's going to jump up and give you a good start or two here or there - he did it for the Twins, he did it for the Phillies, and he's done it before for these very same Cardinals.  But guess what?  There's not a chance in hell he's worth $12 million.


Want to know the best part?  When they extended him they also gave him a full no-trade clause.  L-O-freaking-L.  Who's running this team, McHale?  I'm expecting another extension any day.

-  And since we are on the subject of former Twins' pitcher who define mediocrity (or worse) guess who currently has a no-hitter through five innings against the Yankees?  Phil freaking Humber.  I know there's no way this can last more than another batter or two, but could there possibly be a bigger kick in the nuts?  Player acquired for former superstar who the team couldn't afford to keep who washes out pitches a no-hitter for a hated division rival against the old team's arch nemisis that's bounced them from the playoffs the last three times they've been there?  Honestly, the only way you could possibly make this worse is to have it be a playoff game.  But yeah, this will do.  Ouch.

- Greivis Vasquez plays a meaningful role for the Grizzlies?  I had no idea (but I guess why would I when it pertains to the Memphis NBA team).  I've been watching this game for about four game minutes and he's hit two buckets as well as a three-pointer.  I think he might be MVP.

-   Humber now through six.  Still hitless.  If he can get through the seventh (Granderson, Texeira, A-Rod) he'll have a chance.  Of course, that still lives Cano.  Wait.  I got it.  He's going get all the way to the last out, which will be Jeter.  Jeter will break it up. All announcers/journalists everywhere will collectively mess their shorts to race to their typewriters to write up an article about how tough he is and his intangibles.  One journalist will out-crazy them all by writing about how he believes "some part of Jeter really didn't want to break that up, because he knew what a great story it was, but he's such a competitor that the though of lying down never crossed his mind."  Book it.

-  I just realized A.J. Burnett is on the other side of this, and he's only allowed 2 hits and one run.  This is like bizarro-world.  There must be a five-hundred mile per hour wind blowing in, the infield grass must be three times longer than normal, and whoever is umping home plate obviously is calling everything a strike tonight.  That has to be it, no?

-  Moment of silence of Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes, who died nine years ago today.  You may remember her as the crazy as shit broad from TLC who burned down Andre Rison's house, but what you might not remember is that Andre Rison died exactly four years ago today.  Creepy, right?  But I should mention that I actually have no idea if Andre Rison is dead or alive, and if he is dead he probably didn't die on this date.  But he could have, and that's creepy.

-  I just read that a judge or something lifted the NFL lockout.  I'm not going to lie to you.  I have no idea what this means.  All I know is I want scab players in at least one NFL game.  Come on.  Tell me you don't want to see Adam Weber throw a TD pass to some 33-year old slob who was selling cars or schlepping concrete last year.  How much fun would it be to go through the rosters and see guys you remember as the third WR on Michigan in 2002 and be all like, "Ronald Bellamy!  I remember that guy!  He's a fag!"  Seriously, it would be like Christmas.

-  A-Rod breaks up the no-hitter with one down in the 7th.  I feel both relieved and saddened at the same time.

-  That Joe Mauer/Troy Polamolu commercial creeps me out.

-  I know what you're wondering.  You're wondering what's going on with the NBDL right now.  Well I'll tell you.  They've reached the finals (which is a best of three affair) and the Iowa Energy are up on the Rio Grande Valley Vipers after taking game one by a score of 123-109.  Iowa was led by Curtis "The Curt Man" Stinson who notched a triple-double (29-10-10).  Also apparently Stinson was MVP of the D-League.  How proud of that would you be?  I'd say it's kind of like getting into Harvard and getting a communications degree.  I mean, it's better than slinging crack or living off welfare, but even so you gotta feel like you didn't quite get everything out of life that you maybe should have.

-  I don't know how anybody could root for the San Antonio Spurs.  You have the world's most boring superstar surrounded by a bunch of commies and some ooh la la frenchman who probably smells like Drakkar.  Gross.

-  Speaking of Drakkar, Memphis is about to be up 3-1 on the Spurs tonight and I can't help but a feel a bit of a pang of jealousy.  I know this would be their first playoff series win ever, and they picked up their first playoff win ever earlier, and I also know the Wolves did have that nice run the conference finals, but Memphis being successful when the Wolves are in the pooper makes me, and baby jesus, cry.  How can Zach Randolph become a leader?  How can a backcourt of O.J. Mayo, Mike Conley, and Tony Allen do, well, anything?  And the Wolves are not just worse, but significantly worse.  That feels like a place to end.  Plus I have to go stab myself in the temple with a crossbow quarrel, but before I go I want to leave with this piece of wisdom...."The eyes are the groin of the head."

-  Wait, I just realized I didn't even put a picture in here. So here's a pic of Alison Brie. Top 10, easy.  Should also drive some traffic because cash money ya'll.

Win Twins: American League Division Series Preview

Even though we all know the New York Yankees are going to sweep since they completely own the Minnesota Twins in every way, Kubel homer off Rivera aside, I feel like I should toss up some kind of preview of some kind since I like to pretend I'm a Twins writer. So how about we take a look, position by position, so we can truly get a read on how badly teh Yanks are going to own this sucker.

CATCHER: Joe Mauer (.327/.402/.469 - 9 HRs) vs. Jorge Posada (.248/.357/.454).  Mauer is going to win this battle against any playoff catcher this year, although there's somebody in San Fran who might make a pretty good argument, but his hitting - even with his power disappearing - combined with his defense make him easily the winner in this argument.  Posada is still an ageless wonder but his skills are starting to diminish, even though - and you're going to hear this a lot with NYY - he's still patient and draws a lot of walks and can still hit for power.  His arm is basically shot (he only threw out 16% of base-stealers this year) but that won't really matter since the Twins can't/don't really run.  ADVANTAGE:  Twins

FIRST BASE:  Michael Cuddyer (.271/.336/.417 - 14 HRs) vs. Mark Texeira (.256/.365/.481 - 33 HRs).  This year was an off year for Tex (worst avg, obp, and slugging since he was a rook), but he still blows what the Twins have to offer completely out of the water.  The bad Cuddy showed up this year, which is unfortunate because this is when they could use him most, what with their best player on the shelf the second half of the year.  Hopefully he can recapture some of that 2006/2009 magic, because the Twins are going to need all the big bats they can get.  Plus, Texeira is a 3-time gold glover, and although it's commendable that Cuddy is willing to play wherever they need him he's a god awful 1B-man.  ADVANTAGE:  Yankees 

SECOND BASE:  Orlando Hudson (.268/.338/.372 - 10 SBs) vs. Robinson Cano (.319/.381/.534 - 29 HRs).  Look at those numbers.  Cano is just ridiculous.  Do you realize that slugging percentage of Cano's is the second-highest of any player in this series, behind on Jim Thome?  And we know what Thome has done, but Cano isn't that far behind.  And he plays frickin' second base!  I don't mind Hudson, despite the fact that he's hit .171 since September 8th, but he's far, far, far outclassed here.  Cano is basically Joe Mauer with power, while O-Hud is, well, Alexi Casilla with a a better reputation.  ADVANTAGE:  Yankees

THIRD BASE:  Danny Valencia (.311/.351/.448 - 7 HRs) vs. Alex Rodriguez (.270/.341/.506 - 30 HRs).  Similar to Texeira, A-Rod had one of the worst years of his entire career but still blows the Twins' offering away.  Not as badly as Tex, thanks to Valencia's high average, good defense, and the fact that he seems to be getting better, but Rodiguez is still so far beyond Dannyboy that, much like Dr. Dre said to his rival rappers, "You couldn't see me with binoculars."  Oh, and if you want to make the argument right now that A-Rod chokes in the playoffs do me a favor:  shut down the internet window you are viewing this blog on and never, ever, ever come back here again because you are a retard.  Also, and this has nothing to do with anything right now except that I'm watching Zombieland, I really dig Emma Stone.  ADVANTAGE:  Yankees

SHORTSTOP:  J.J. Hardy (.268/.320/.394 - 6 HRs) vs. Derek Jeter (.270/.340/.370 - 18 SBs).  In what is quickly becoming a common theme, Jeter is having the worst year of his career, but this one is at least close.  In actually, Hardy out OPSes Jeter, even though it's like comparing Alexi Casilla to Matt Tolbert, thanks to his higher slugging, and according to every defensive metric I looked it, which is everything fangraphs has, Hardy is a better fielder.  So we're going to have to give this one to Minnesota.  Which doesn't feel right.  And not because it's Captain Intensity and Sportsmanship, because he's been overrated for years, but because it's Hardy and he kind of sucks.  Sorry ladies.  ADVANTAGE:  Twins

LEFT FIELD:  Delmon Young (.298/.333/.493 - 21 HRs) vs. Brett Gardner (.277/.383/.379 - 47 SBs).  Tough call, because these guys couldn't be more different.  Young is the lumbering stick-man, finally coming into his own and showing some of his promise while at every pitch within a 4-mile radius of home plate.  Gardner is the fleet of foot slap-hitter who is probably the best left-fielder in baseball and is very selective at the plate.  It is close, but Young's extra power can't make up for Gardner's non-hitting skills.  And I don't mean like, his ability to cook a nice steak on the grill (top notch from what I hear.  He uses a little bit of garlic butter is the rumor), I mean the speed and fielding thing.   ADVANTAGE:  Yankees

CENTER FIELD:   Denard Span (.264/.331/.348 - 26 SBs, 10 3Bs) vs. Curtis Granderson (.247/.324/.468 - 24 HRs).  Sigh.  Remember when Span looked like he was going to become your prototypical leadoff hitter?  Like a poor man's Tim Raines with less steals?  Well now he's more like a poor man's Vince Coleman with way, way less steals (NOTE:  Coleman was actually a terrible hitter, which you probably don't remember because you were blinded by his blindingly blinding speed.  Blind.)  Granderson has been just barely good this year, but he destroys the new, slower Vince Coleman.  Quick, guess how many walks Spoleman has had since August 24th:  It's 12.  Jason Repko has nine in that same time frame, and he plays like every 8th day.  In short, Denard Span is a huge disappointment and I hope he gets the mumps.  ADVANTAGE:  Yankees

RIGHT FIELD:  Jason Kubel (.249/.323/.427 - 21 HRs) vs. Nick Swisher (.288/.359/.511 - 29 HRs).  Both of these guys would be better off playing softball so don't expect any great fielding antics (unless you count diving and catching a ball a normal fielder would get to standing up as a great fielding play), but Swisher is merely bad while my boy Kubes is basically a butcher of historic proportions.  And as far as hitting goes, Kubel is Kubel this year, while Swisher is what Kubel was last year.  No contest.  ADVANTAGE:  Yankees

DESIGNATED HITTER:  Jim Thome (.283/.412/.627 - 25 HRs) vs. Lance Berkman (.248/.368/.413).  Thank god Thome is involved here, because he'd win a comparison against anyone.  Berkman?  Please.  A-Rod?  Not this year.  Babe Ruth?  Sorry fatty.  Zeus?  No mythical beings allowed.  Jesus?  I said no mythical beings allowed.  So Berkman and his big giant chin have no chance.  ADVANTAGE:  Twins

STARTER #1/#5:   Francisco Liriano (14-10, 3.62 ERA, 1.26 WHIP) vs. CC Sabathia (21-7, 3.18 ERA, 1.19 WHIP).  This is an incredibly even matchup, especially because when you start looking at the nerd stats Liriano actually comes out pretty far ahead thanks to his great HR/9 mark and because his walk and strikeout numbers are way better than Sabathia's.  Just looking at the "mainstream" stats you'd pick Sabathia, but go a bit deeper and it's pretty obvious Liriano has actually been the better pitcher this year, and it's actually not all that close.  ADVANTAGE:  Twins

STARTER #2:  Carl Pavano (17-11, 3.75 ERA, 1.19 WHIP) vs. Andy Pettitte (11-3, 3.28 ERA, 1.27 WHIP).  This is a pretty even matchup, if you ignore the fact that the Twins seemingly couldn't hit Pettitte if he tossed the ball underhand.  A little wrinkle here is that Pettite is just getting back from injury, having pitched just three times since mid-July, and topped out at just 88 pitches in those three starts since returning.  Pavano has been very good this year, even though he's tapered off a bit since that streak of 18 consecutive complete games or whatever it was, and with his propensity to throw strikes the patient approach of the Yankees shouldn't bother him, and may even play in his favor.  ADVANTAGE:  Twins

STARTER #3:  Brian Duensing (10-3, 2.62 ERA, 1.20 WHIP) vs. Phil Hughes (18-8, 4.19 ERA, 1.25 WHIP).  One thing I really love about this matchup is that since the all-star break Hughes has been absolutely awful, with an ERA near 5 despite a fluky low BABIP of .262 and less than a 2-1 KK/BB ratio.  That means he's been simply dreadful.  And we know, outside of his last few starts, that Duensing has been brilliant this year, so all signs point to a Twinkie advantage.  Except of course, that the last time he pitched at Yankee Stadium in the playoffs he got shelled.  Still.....ADVANTAGE:  Twins

STARTER #4:  Nick Blackburn (10-12, 5.42 ERA, 1.45 WHIP) vs. A.J. Burnett (10-15, 5.26 ERA, 1.51 WHIP).  I know Blackburn has been pitching must better since his trip to AAA, and I know Burnett is mostly a mess, but I can't possibly give the advantage to the Twins here.  Blackburn doesn't have great stuff so he must rely on location so much that his margin for error is razor-thin, and when he's even slightly off he's gotten roasted by the likes of Baltimore, Oakland, and Kansas City - can you imagine what the Yankees will do to him if he's not 100% locked in?  It's not like Burnett has been great lately, since June 4th his ERA is 6.46, and I know Blackburn has come up in the clutch in the past, but I just can't do it.  Plus Sabathia is almost certainly going to be the one pitching this game.  ADVANTAGE:  Yankees

[NOTE:  New York hasn't announced their pitching lineup, so this is all just conjecture.  Good chance Sabathia comes back to pitch game #4 (where he'd obviously have a huge advantage over Blackburn), leaving Pettitte vs. Liriano for game 5 if it gets that far.]

CLOSER:  Matt Capps (42/48 saves, 2.47 ERA, 1.26 WHIP) vs. Mariano Rivera (33/38 saves, 1.80 ERA, 0.83 WHIP).  Father fucking time aka the Sandman just keeps rolling along, and you can throw out that blown save to the Twins earlier because those 2 ERs he allowed accounted for 33% of the ERs he allowed through August.  Of course, he's been super-mortal here in September, with an ERA of 7.38 and 3 blown saves in the month, but I'm not exactly ready to call him done just yet.  Plus, the best team Capps has ever played on before this year was a 68-win Pirate team, so not only has he never pitched in the playoffs, but he's really never pitched in a meaningful game.  Seriously, how do you feel when you think about Capps coming in to Yankee Stadium in the bottom of the ninth with the Twins up 3-2? Nauseous, at best.  ADVANTAGE:  Yankees

BULLPEN:   Crain/Fuentes/Guerrier/Mijaries/Rauch vs. Wood/Chamberlain/Robertson/Gaudin/Logan.  I haven't seen the Yankees postseason roster, so I'm not sure if all those guys will be on there, but the main three - Wood, Chamberlain, and Robertson - certainly will be.  Wood has basically been unhittable since he came over from Cleveland, but Chamberlain hasn't been great this year (although he still strikes out a ton of guys and can be untouchable when he's on) and Robertson is definitely hittable.  One thing that should help the Twins out is that the only lefty in the pen is Boone Logan, and although he's been good this year and particularly tough on lefties, he's been awful in his career overall and hasn't ever pitched in the postseason - could be where the Twins can take advantage.  Overall, despite the struggles in the last couple of weeks, I like the Twins' group better.  Although every single one of them scares me to death.  ADVANTAGE:  Twins 

Total it all up and the Twins look good on the mound, with the Yankees holding an advantage at the plate and win the overall breakdown by the slimmest of  margins at 8-7.  Of course, games aren't played with words on crappy, third-rate blogs, they're played between the lines where anything can happen.  Because this is your state, this is your team, and this is Twins Territory!

Yanks in 4.

But not if Wonderbaby^TM has anything to say about it.






If you're looking for another take, here's Reusse's breakdown using a similar method, but the results are very, very different and a lot more stupider.

World Series Game 5 Live Blog

It could be the last game of the baseball season, so I might as well Live Blog this crap, right?  Plus we'll see if my man-crush on Cliff Lee grows, or just disappears like a john, with nothing more than a crisp new fifty on the night stand and a slight burning sensation during urination.  We're picking this game up in the top of the second after finally getting Wonderbaby^TM ready for bed.  She's a bit wound up after her first day of pre-pre-school today, and I'm a bit concerned because the majority of her classmates look like Sloth from the Goonies.  On to the show.....

-  It's 3-1 Phillies thanks to Chase Utley continuing to be a P.I.M.P.  And I turned it on just in time to hear McCarver say, "American League batters are used to Mariano Rivera breaking bats, but not many of them know about Cliff Lee........even though he was with the Indianas............Lee's a different pitcher with Philadelphia."  Dude.  Just stop.  It makes me glad I've been watching most of this with no sound - which I'll be doing again shortly once Mrs. W gets back from putting the baby down.

-  Speaking of Lee and pitching game five, I think he should have been moved up and pitched last night, but this yahoo article is quite harsh and mostly retarded (like Dawger).  I hardly think that decision "blew the world series" or that Charlie Manuel is like Forrest Gump and "stupid is as stupid does."  He also calls Cliff Lee "not an ace" because he didn't demand the ball for game 4.  I'm seriously stumped.  I didn't like it at the time, but I'm thinking that it was actually a good decision by Manuel.  Think about it - Blanton pitched well enough for the Phillies to win, Lidge blew the game.  If they can steal a win with Blanton going against Sabathia, suddenly the Phillies are in the driver's seat, and they damn near did it, again, if it wasn't for Lidge - not Blanton and not Manuel.  I'm willing to bet Passan had this article typed up before even the first pitch of Sunday night's game, and when the Phils lost he just hit send on his little mac-book.  It's not even surprising, that seems to be the standard for journalism these days.  Except me.  I'm really good.

-   Boy has Texeira been brutal.  Another weak grounder with a runner on base, and he's now at .062 for the series.  And yet since the Yankees will win, nobody will say a word.  This is so unfair to A-Rod. 

-  There is way too much being made of Damon stealing third after stealing second on the same play.  Yes, it was totally heads up and a great, smart, alert play - no doubt.  But also let's try to remember that A-Rod doubled two batters later - Damon is scoring from any base.  I'm just thankful Jeter isn't the one who made that play, can you imagine?  It would make the Madden/Favre love fest look like Twilight.  Because it's a chastity parable.  Shut up.  No, you're gay.

-  Utley walks and steals second - any chance we can get a losing player winning the World Series MVP?  I don't think it's ever happened, right?  I know some defensive guy from the Cowboys won the Super Bowl MVP even though the Cowboys lost back in the 70s, but I don't think it's happened in baseball.  Of course, seeing as how Jeter is on the Yankees and everyone loves him more than life itself, he'll get it for hitting .360 with no runs batted in and just two extra-base hits.  What a joke.  God I hate you Derek Jeter.  You know that scene is Se7en, where Kevin Spacey ties that guy to the bed and like cuts his hand off and somehow tortures him but keeps him alive for like a year?  What?  I'm just asking if you remember that scene, I ain't sayin' nothin'.

-  The NL's Jason Kubel knocks in Utley.  Burnett getting rocked.  And trust me, A.J. Burnett doens't have the mental capacity to recover when he's getting smoked.  Might as well pack up and head to New York, folks, this one's over.

-  Ibanez knocks in another one, and that'll do it for fragile little A.J.  We're going to David Robertson here folks, although if I'm Girardi I call this one over and go to Mitre or Gaudin.

-  Wow, base hit for Cliff Lee.  We're at 6-1 here, and Rollins can break this baby wide open.  Well, wide opener.

-  Strikes out like a jerk.

-  Link to Blue Ribbon's preview of Gopher basketball.  It points out something I had either forgotten or never knew:  The Gophers had more turnovers than assists last year.  Ouch.  Damian Johnson, Al Nolen, and Kevin Payton were the only ones with more assists than TOs, and Westbrook (1/1.5), Iverson (1/2.2), and Busch (1/2.l) were absolute killers.  Let's go ahead and put that as priority #1 for next season, shall we?  Also note that with rounding, future Big Ten P.O.Y. Ralph Sampson was one of only four players with a 1-to-1 ratio or better (and, of course, the preview doesn't fail to compare him to his "Heroin Satan" father - god that must get old).

-  FYI, Colbie Smulders recently had a baby, and she has lost the baby weight, but she hasn't lost it from everywhere, if you know what I'm saying.  (NOTE:  I'm talking about her boobs.)  This is her, if you are unaware:

Now imagine that with some C+ cups.

-  Derek Jeter got a hit.  MVP!  MVP!  MVP!  MVP!

-  Don't worry, nothing came of it.  And a great catch in left-center by Brett Gardner.  He's 10 times the fielder Melky is, too bad he can't hit for shit.  Sounds an awful lot like Carlos Gomez, no?

-  Iowa is ranked #4 in the latest BCS.  Serious question, how many other top 10 teams do you think Iowa would beat more often than not?  Florida?  Texas?  Alabama?  Boise?  Georgia Tech?  Cincy?  TCU?  I'm not sure there's a single team here they are bettre than..

-  Ok, actually they got a run somewhere back there, and it's now 6-2.  I would have known that, but I have become a bit distracted by facebook, and everybody trying to sound cool and ignore the fact that I was part of a group interview of Magic Johnson and Larry Bird today.  You are all jerks.

-  Oh, yeah.  So I was part of a conference call of a bunch of writers who got to do a group interview of Magic and Larry today.  Of course, it was only an hour and there were people from like, ESPN and The Sporting News and USA Today, etc., so I didn't get a chance to actually ask a question since I'm pretty sure I'd be the Pittsburgh Pirates of the invitees, but it was still cool.

- Cliffy keeps rolling along, now through seven with just the two runs allowed.  It certainly wouldn't hurt for the Phillies to pick up a couple of more runs here. 

-  This probably deserves it's own post, but here is a report on Corey Joseph's reaction to his official visit on Saturday.  Sounds good, folks, sounds really good.  In particular pay attention to the first two comments below the article - very insightful.

-  Utley just destroys a pitch down the line, but foul.  Dude, that guy is so dialed in right now it's ridiculous.

-  And the very next pitch he goes yard.  Again.  This guy is a second basemen, it just isn't right.  That's five in this series, which I think is some kind of record.  And we could have two more games.  I'm actually kind of starting to believe the Phillies can come back and win this - delirious, I know.

-  Ibanez goes yard.  This Phil Coke guy sucks.  Let me remind you all that Pedro's career postseason WHIP = 1.07.  Bring it Yanks, because I feel a career defining Pedro performance on Wednesday.  Yes, another one.

-  Cliffy gives up three straight hits, including a double that probably should have been caught but Ibanez is 100 years old to A-Rod and it's 8-4, and we get Chan Ho Park for like the 10th time this series.  Confidence = ug.

-  Park gets three straight guys out, but another run comes in when Ben Francisco - in at CF for the Flyin' Hawaiian who may or may not have injured his hand after taking a Burnett fastball off it - totally lolligags the throw to home and A-Rod tags up from third.  Really a very good, smart play.  He did the bluff-type thing, saw Francisco kind of wasn't really trying, and then just kept going and beat the throw.  Good play.  8-5 Phils, but the Yanks will get one more crack at it.

-  T-Wolves down 25-23 in the first.  I benched Kaman on my fantasy basketball team tonight and put in Ryan Anderson because I need more three-pointers.  Kaman has 8 points and 6 boards already.  Why the hell would I bench a center against the Wolves?  Dumb.  And speaking of fantasy, I now have the details on my fantasy college basketball league.  I'll be posting those sometime this week. 

-  Oh yeah, my fantasy basketball (NBA) team includes LeBron, Dwight Howard, Andrew Bynum, Joe Johnson, and Derrick Rose.  Yeah, I'm dominant.  Also when I just looked up my roster right there I realized that Kaman is still starting until tomorrow, so disregard all that "I'm dumb" talk.  Plus, you should have tried to make me feel better and you didn't.  Why are your feelings the only ones that matter?

-  8-5 still, but Madson gives up a lead-off double to Posada.  Seeing as how you not only can't trust Lidge, but he's probably not available anyway, I'd assume this is Madson's show.  If he sucks and they end up bringing in Brett Myers at any point, we might as well just engrave the trophy for the Yanks right then and there.

-  I just saw Danielle Harris's boobs.  God bless you free Showtime preview.

-  Base hit for Matsui.  If I used swear words on this blog, this would be the part where I would type fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

-  Jeter grounds into a double play.  Ha ha, way to be a True Yankee, Jeter.  Awesome.

-  Damon base hit.  A Tex home run here ties the game.  Awesome.  Nice bullpen Philadelphia.

-  Nevermind, he strikes him out proving that there is at least one person on this planet with the last name Madson who you can trust, and we're going back to New York where the Yankees will almost certainly win it.  But I really hope not.

World Series Game 2 Live Blog

Picking this one up in the bottom of the second with the Phils leading 1-0 and Pedro looking very, very good - four batters, four outs, three by strikeout, and if the Phillies can manage to steal this one, I'd be the happiest little girl in Switzerland, with my pretty hair all in braids while I drink my hot chocolate and pet a Saint Bernard. 

-  Ibanez with a nice diving catch that maybe saved a run, or at least a hit.  What's he doing out in left field?  He should be DHing.  Unless they put my boy Matty Stairs at DH?  Please let this be true.

-  And now we get Jerry Hairston, Jr. instead of Nick Swisher.  Hmmm, le'ts see.  Swisher OPS = .869, Jerry Hairston, Jr. = .710.  For you uniformed cretins out there, that's the difference between Jason Kubel and Orlando Cabrera.  I'm not sure I make that switch, assuming similar defense, under any circumstances.  Of course, Hairston is a light-hitting player who can play multiple positions well.  Gardy would start him at bat him second.

-  Burnett with a lot of movement on his ball tonight, so much so that Jimmy Rollins just missed a breaking ball by about a foot - and I'm not exaggerating.  Must be because he has his fancy personal catcher, a catcher by the way who OPSed  .560 this year, which is somewhere between Mike Redmond and Alexi Casilla, and even worse than Nick Punto.  He's been benched for  Jorge Posada, who OPSed .885, which is slightly better than Justin Morneau.  So the Yankees have torpedoed their offensive two ways, one because of a completely overreatction and one because of a big crybaby of a pitcher.  Nice job.  By the way, Posada and Molina both threw out 28% of attempted base stealers.  Nice job A.J.

-  Wow.  Walking Utley to face Howard?  Wow.

-  Well, he whiffed him.  Point Girardi.  Still think the Molina and Hairston moves are balls stupid.

-  Pedro walks Molina.  Nice job you jackass dominican or puerto rican or cuban or whatever.  This sets it up for Jeter to be "a yankee legend."  Or strikeout like the probably gay douchebag he is, hahahahahahahahahaha.  Suck it, jeter.

-  I want you people to stop for a minute and realize just how good Pedro Martinez was in his prime.  Because I'm trying to watch the game online I don't really have time to do a ton of digging, so we're just going to use ERA to analyze him.  More specifically, ERA+ which basically compares your ERA with the league average ERA in that season and gives you a numerical number, with 100 = league average.  Well Pedro has the #1 ERA+ of all-time (since 1900) in 2000 when his ERA was 1.74 (league average was4.92).  He is also #8 on that list.  And #16.  And #25.  And #31.  You know how good Zack Greinke was compared to the rest of the league this year?  He was #30.  Nobody else has three top 16 seasons.  Only Walter Johnson also has four top-25 seasons, and nobody else has five top 31 seasons.  Needless to say, he is the all-time career leader in that stat amongst starting pitchers (Mariano is the all-time leader).  Make no mistake, this guy was absolutely, unfathomably, incredibly, untouchably awesome. 

-  And while I was typing that Texeira homered to tie the game.  That only cost the Yankees $500,000 ($20,000,000 / 40 homers).  Good lord.

-  Oh, I forgot to mention, I looked it up and indeed Matt Stairs is the Phillies' DH.  Not only that, but he has the Phils' one RBI tonight.  That guy is so freaking awesome.  I love that big crazy goofball.

-  Do you watch The Office.  Man, that was the best show for every year up until this year.  Suddenly it seems they have no idea what they are doing with the characters or where they are going with any of the storylines.  It still has it's moments, and it still has some really, really good episdoes (the wedding episode was awesome), but I'm just not sure what's going on here.  Actually, The Office is really similar to Tubby's 2010 recruiting class so far.  Kind of unimpressive, a let down from previous years, but still time to turn it around/show how I'm wrong and I completely trust the people in charge.  Holy crap that's brilliant.  I feel like Samuel Taylor Coleridge over here.

-  We're watching Vampire Diaries right now.  Well, the wife is.  I'm watching the Phillies continue to look like fools against Burnett.  Anyway, it's pretty much just like Dawson's Creek with Vampires and is nowhere near as good as True Blood, but it has the third hottest black chick I've ever seen, a grown-up and hot Maureen from Freaks and Geeks, and this hot chick named Nina Dobrev who was also in the criminally underrated movie "Never Cry Werewolf" starring Hercules.  That was a lot of words so just shush and look at her:

-  Well, Matsui just hit a weak pop fly to right field, but because this new Yankee Stadium is an absolute joke (think Sandlot in Dusty Diamond All-Star Softball), it somehow managed to clear the fence.  Seriously, Pedro pitches a hell of a game, but now he's trailing because of that garbage?  Shouldn't there be some kind of rules in place to prevent people from building these monuments to subpar power hitters?  G.  A.  Y.

-  Ibanez has almost an identical stance to Jim Eisenrich.  And just got called out on a pitch that was both low and outside.  I was waiting for the pro-Yankee umpiring to show up.  Freakin' conspiracy man.  Like the moon landing.

-  Jesus this guy just called Stairs out on the same pitch.  That pitch is nowhere near a strike.  Might as well turn this game off right now, it's clear that MLB doesn't want the Yanks down 2-0.

-  So I stumbled across a reference to a movie called "Tyrannosaurus Rex" coming out in 2013.  Immediately you could have called me Hugh G. Rection.  I was very excited, is what I'm trying to say, aroused even, if you will.  Then I read the synopsis.  It's about a boxer who gets caught up in an underground fighting ring.  Shouldn't people be arrested for that shit?  And not only for misleading me so horribly, but you know this movie is going to star Cam Gigandet.

-  Back to back Yankee singles (including one by Hairston, dammit).  That will do it for Pedro.  Hell of a game.  And they are going to Chan Ho Park.  I'm going to assume they're writing this one off and are happy to go back to Philly with a split.

-  Park had a 4.43 ERA and a 1.40 WHIP.  There have to be better options.  Also, who knew that asians could grow full beards?  Other than Genghis Khan and that cult leader from Japan guy who tried to use Sarin Gas in the subway.  Wait.  So Park is a supervillian?  Makes sense, since he just gave up a hit and another run.  Totally worth it since "Mr Intangibles and Mr. Yankee and total clutch performer who can do anything" just failed to get down a sac bunt and struck out.  Suck it, Jeter.

-  Double play after Howard catches the ball in the air or doesn't or something.  Honestly I couldn't even tell on several replays if he caught that or not.  Then again, I'm a little drunk. 

-  I know I'm talking about TV alot today, but shut up it's my blog.  Get your own if you don't like.  Anyway my point here is that I stopped watching Heroes.  The first season is still one of the best seasons of all-time of any show, for serious, but it has totally lost it's way.  Not only has the writing petered off and become it's own little SyFy original movie script, but they can't kill anybody off.  They have killed like, ten people on that show, only to have each and every one of them (somtimes multiple times each) come back to life, not really be dead, or basically find some back way to get them back on the show.  That's all fine and dandy for a kids show, where you can't expect children to deal with death and all that jazz, but this is ridiculous for an adult show, and specifically a science fiction show.  Even Vampire Diaries just killed off a major character with a stake through her hot boob. I just can't do it.  I'm out.

-  Phils down two and will now have to face Chamberlain and Rivera.  Not lookin' good here.

-  Whoops, nevermind, we're going with Mariano for two here.  I don't know if I agree or disagree in this situaton, but mostly because the Twins have never had a manager who can think outside of the "closer for the ninth" box, despite the fact that Captian Dumbshit

-  A huge walk to Rollins in an 11-pitch at bat and a single by Victorino passed "gold-glover" Texeira and we're in business.

-  Shit.  Utley grounds into a double play, mostly the umpire called anything within a foot of the plate a strike so he had to hack around.  Seriously, this is some of the worst balls and strikin' I've seen in a while.  Also, thanks for cutting to a replay of Jeter pumping his fist as you go to commercial, Fox.  Lord knows we don't see/hear/read enough about him already.

-  Mrs. W just asked me who was winning the game and when I said the Yankees she made a very nice noise of disgust.  So at least I got that going for me.

-  Ibanez doubles in the bottom of the ninth with two outs.  It's now up to Matty Stairs.  I think I'm in heaven.

-  Nevermind, he strikes out.  That wasn't very exciting.  Oh well, a split is what you had to hope for.  The Phillies are in pretty good shape, and Yankee fans are all douchebags, and don't let Ashley Tisdale tell you differently.

And I'm Off

Heading out to the great state of Utah tomorrow with the wife and baby and won't be back until late next week. Whilst I'm gone, feel free to ponder on the following:

- How and why does Brian Bass lead the American League in relief innings pitched? The guy is brutal. I'm also not kidding, he seriously leads the AL in relief innings. He couldn't even crack the Royals big league lineup and now he's the rock in the Twins' pen? There's something very wrong going on here.

- I recently read some research that said there is a rough correlation between line drive % and batting average. So if you take the percentage of time a batter hits a line drive and add .120 to it, you would end up with an expected batting average of .320. Kind of a good way to see who is getting lucky/unlucky and who straight sucks. On the Twins:

Mauer - expected .339, actual .326
Morneau - expected .309, actual .310
Buscher - expected .459, actual .339
Kubel - expected .279, actual .263
Cuddyer - expected .323, actual .252
Casilla - expected .272, actual .325
Harris - expected .280, actual .245
Lamb - expected .289, actual .223
Young - expected .309, actual .284
Gomez - expected .294, actual .274

So in general it looks like the Twins are hitting the ball even better than the stats show, particularly Cuddyer, Lamb, and Harris. Casilla is getting pretty lucky thus far (no surprise there), and as good as Buscher has been, he's actually hitting the ball even better than his numbers (big surprise).

- Interesting how awesome Jaws I and II were compared to how god awful III and IV were.

- How come nobody bothers to mention that Derek Jeter sucks this year? He's never been a good fielder, and now he can't hit either. He's putting up .279/.342/.384 for an OPS+ of 96. That really isn't all that terrible for a normal shortstop, but considering how the media wants to wank him off all the time, somebody needs to point out that he sucks this year. I'm glad I could be the one. Tell your friends.

- On the flip, Mariano Rivera is not too old, that's for certain. 0.62 WHIP with an ERA under 1, giving up just four runs in 37 innings this season. Too bad the Yankees overall suck, just like I said they would. Holla.

- Carlos Gomez leads the majors with twenty bunt hits this season, and is 8th with 12 infield hits. That is 32 base hits that never got to the outfield out of his 93 total hits, over a third. Only Wily Tavares has even close that amount, with 26. Those 20 bunt hits so far are already more than last season's leader, Juan Pierre, had all year, and he has a shocking success rate of 50% - seriously - I couldn't believe it either. What that means is that Gomez is hitting .500 on bunt attempts in 40 at bats, meaning in his other 300 at bats he has 73 hits, for a .243 average. I guess he should be bunting pretty much every time up, contrary to my prior opinion.

- Anybody know how much baby's sell for on the black market? Seriously, if you know anybody who is looking to purchase one, shoot me an email. Not for me, for uh, a friend.

- Fireworks are gay.