North Correia: A Free Agency Story

The MLB Winter Meetings have ended.  There were a lot of moves made and our Twins were in thick of it by making trades and offers to free agent pitchers for them to turn down.  Then, the totally thinkable happened: an average to below average starting pitcher that literally never misses bats (well, 5.7% of the time he does) signed a two year deal.  Welcome to the North, Correia!

DWG already covered Corriea briefly in his live blog of last night's Gophers/Bison tilt, but it probably should be mentioned again that this wasn't what we were looking for as a first splash in free agency.  Jon Marthaler of Twinkietown is apoplectic about the signing and rightfully so.  The worst part about this is that it's $5MM per year that can't be given to someone else.  As the Twins repeat their mantra of being small budget and having limited money to spend over and over, you'd think they'd be a little more wise and a lot more patient with it.  If someone scoops you at this point in the off-season on Correia, you wish the poor bastards luck and trot out Sammy Deduno instead.  Another thing about Correia is he's not exactly some big-time workhorse.  He's never logged 200 innings, coming closest in 2009 at 198.  He's averaged 157 innings pitched over the past 3 seasons.  Correia throws a 4-seamer 25% of the time at 90 mph, a 2 seamer 21% at 90.6 mph, a slider 24% at 87 mph, a curve 12% at 77 mph and a change 13% at 86mph. You can see that his mix doesn't vary speeds much, so he has to rely on location and movement to be effective.  According to Fangraphs.com his only pitch that was plus from an average runs allowed perspective was the changeup.

Pass the tobacky.

The best part about watching the winter meetings is watching the interviews.  Seeing Charlie Manuel in a suit trying to act like a regular human that doesn't wear leggings and a windbreaker to work was great.  The interview I saw was a day or two before the Revere trade and you could tell he knew it was happening.  They asked him about their hole in center field and he said they were focusing on getting a defensive presence out there.  Manuel was curmudgeonly and loveable.  You know he threw some Red Man in after the interview to take the edge off.

The Terry Ryan interview on MLB network that occurred just after the two trades was also great.  Terry Ryan looks like a turtle.  An angry, angry turtle.  I should have recorded it because I can't find it online.  Essentially, he said what we've all been thinking and saying for the last year or two.  The Twins have some depth in the outfield and are sorely in need of pitching.  He went on to mention that they've had a number of offers out to pitchers but they couldn't give away the money. Sadly, now we know he did give some cash away to Correia.  After seeing this interview it makes me lean even more towards thinking this was a panic move.

Also of note was that he listed Hicks, Benson and Mastroianni in that order when asked how they'll fill centerfield.  Spring training will be interesting from this standpoint as a stand out performance could land any of the three the job.  I suspect we'll see Mastroianni there to start and as DWG pointed out, he was at least somewhat useful in under 200 ABs last season.  Hicks, 23, had a lot of success last season in AA.  He's a good defender in centerfield with a big arm.  He has power and speed on the basepaths.  His strikeouts are a tad high, but he also walks at a good rate, so he projects to a top of the order type.  Benson was injured much of last year with the dreaded hamate bone injury (that's the tiny bone at the base of the ring finger in the palm of your hand where hitters often hold the knob of the bat).  He also had a knee cleanup in August.  He hit like crap, but I'm willing to give him a pass due to injury issues.  He's 25 in March, so it's possible he makes the team as a reserve outfielder with Mastroianni starting and Hicks in AAA at the beginning at least.  Then when they suck and Hicks is tearing up AAA, they can make a move.

Hamate

 
Ryan also indicated that they are probably done subtracting for the time being and would prefer to add via free agency rather than trade.  He indicated that he thought the team could compete as-is and when asked about starting pitching he mentioned Worley, Diamond and Liam Hendriks.  He also said they have guys like Nick Blackburn and Brian Duensing as depth.  At which point I yelled "Oh, come on!" at the tv. This was of course before we got the Correian Barbeque.  Your Twins rotation right now looks something like this:

THE PAIN

#4a Scott Diamond
#4b Vance Worley
#5a Liam Hendriks
#5b Kevin Correia
And then the clusterflap for the last spot: Kyle Gibson, Cole DeVries, Nick freaking Blackburn and Sammy Deduno.

If Gibson starts in AAA there's a legit chance that with Gibson, Meyer and May the Rochester Redwings will have a better staff than the Twins.  The hope is of course that there's one more signing coming in for the Twins.  They still have some money under their self-imposed cap, so they just need to get some sucker to agree to sign on the dotted line.

Starters that are still out there:

Shaun Marcum is still kicking around.  He doesn't throw hard and is kind of old (31 in two days), so maybe the Twins have interest.  He's a better pitcher than Correia, but that likely means he'd cost more too.  He's the chick at the bar that used to be pretty hot, and is probably still worth a roll.

Ryan Dempster is also out there and rumors indicate the Twins made an offer.  He's already declined a two year/$25 million offer from the Red Sox because his old ass wants a three year deal.  He's 36 in March and definitely on the decline, so if he's asking that much it's a definite no-go.  Similar to Marcum, he's an older chick at the dive bar that really isn't all that hot but has big boobs at least.

Edwin Jackson is still out there!  He still wants a multi-year deal and I'd still give it to him.  (just like last year)  He had probably his best year yet last season for the Nats when they gave him a one year, $12MM deal.  He is reported to want a 4 or 5 year deal, probably in the 50-60MM range.  Big bucks and we hate that.  The dream scenario here is that Edwin hangs around until the zero hour and is forced to make bad decisions like he's at the bar until close and all of the cool franchises have already left with their pitchers and the Twins have been bellied up to the bar all night making kissy faces at him and he just goes for it. 

Jair Jurrjens is available and has a fun name.  The Twins reportedly are after him as well.  He's just 26, but is coming off a brutal, Blackburnesque season.  He is a former all-star though and could be a cheap, short term signing.  He's the newly single chick at the bar that kind of let herself go because she was depressed and stuff, but now she's got a gym member ship and stuff and who knows what could happen?

Brett Myers is crazy and seems to just be drawing interest from the Orioles and Twins for the most part.  He's the crazy chick that bites and scratches but mostly in a fun way.

Joe Saunders...made an offer already, meh.  Lefty and still better than Corriea.  He's the chick with the lazy eye.

Frankie Liriano also already offered.  WTF?  I think any other team in the league would be a better fit.  I mean, how many chances does he need to prove he can't turn it aroun in Minnesota?  He's the on again, off again girlfriend that cheats on you all of the time.

LOL Brett Myers

Week in Review 04.11.2011

Do you want to know what's really, really awesome?  The burgers at The Blue Door Pub.  There's only seating for about 25 people in the entire place so even at 6pm on a Friday night when most of the going out public is in Minneapolis following the Twins' home opener the wait was still an hour to get a table for four, but it was totally worth it. 

We tried a variety of their burgers, from The Frenchy (stuffed with caramelized onions and swiss cheese and served with au jus) to the Cajun (stuffed with pepper jack and diced jalapenos) to the Luau (stuffed with mozzarella and Canadian Bacon and topped with grilled pineapple and a sweet chili lime sauce) and they were all awesome, as were the fish tacos, tator tots, and deep fried pickles.  Add in an awesome selection of beer on tap and it might be my favorite restaurant ever.  Of course, seeing as how long it takes to get seated I don't know if I'll be going very often but I really can't recommend it highly enough.  Go there.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  The Masters.  Now that, my friends, was a freaking awesome golf tournament.  Really it had everything you could want:  Tiger making a Sunday charge, the best of the young guns (McIlroy) and the most underrated (Day), vets who had won majors before (Ogilvy, Cabrera) and who were still looking for their first (Choi), two guys trying to drop out of contention for the best player never to win a major (Donald, Scott), and and the next in the line of South African studs (Schwartzel).  Most importantly, outside of McIlroy's implosion, which happened early enough to not affect the enjoyment of the back 9, and fades from Bo Van Pelt and Choi on the back, everybody brought their A-game down the stretch.  Donald's chip, Day's putts at 17 and 18, Scott's tee shot at 16, or any of Schwartzel's birdies from 15-18 could have been a signature moment, but this year's year's tournament was just stuffed with 'em, and was so competitive 8 different players had at least a share of the lead on the back nine on Sunday.  Just insane.  Such an awesome tournament, I can only hope the other three majors come close.

2.  Edwin Jackson.  Well shit.  When the Sox were trying to maneuver to acquire Adam Dunn last year, the thought was they got Jackson from Arizona simply because they knew the Nationals were sweet on him and they would use him to try to facilitate a trade for Dunn.  When the trade never materialized, it was awesome because it looked like they screwed themselves.  Unfortunately for all those who hate the White Sox (which is everyone in the world outside Chicago and prisons) it looks like Jackson may be a keeper all by himself.  His 8 inning, 4 hit, 1 walk, 13 strikeout performance against Tampa puts him at 2-0 for the year with a 1.93 ERA, 1.00 WHIP, and 20-5 Ks to BBs.  He looks like he might actually be good and that's unfortunate because the team of evil deserves to have nothing good happen to them, ever.

3.  Alex Gordon.  It's taken forever, a bunch of false starts, a few really poor seasons, and a position change, but maybe, just maybe, Alex Gordon - former #2 overall pick in 2005 - has arrived.  He's been in the majors since 2007 (with a few trips to AAA sprinkled in) and managed just a .244/.328/.405 over that time with about 1 HR ever 40 at-bats and twice as many strikeouts as walks, and he threw in shitty defense to round it out.  Basically the kid was looking like a monster bust.  This year, however, things may be looking up.  He's currently hitting at a .357/.400/.548 while leading the league in hit and playing a passable left field.  He's also showing some power, at least compared to his previous years, and has cut down a bit on the strikeouts.  I'm not saying he's arrived, but he's finally looking like a competent player.  Which brings the Royals total to 3.

4.  Ty Lawson.  It's not often I write about the NBA in the regular season.  I pay attention in the playoffs, of course, because playoff NBA basketball is one of the most entertaining and skillful displays in any sport at any time, but the regular season is nearly as boring as the WNBA or your average Gopher men's home game.  That being said, occasionally something happens that is so inexplicable and/or bizarre that I need to mention it, and that's why this part here with Ty Lawson is here.  Lawson is a great penetrator and distributor and is fast as hell but going back to his days at North Carolina it's always been known as a terrible shooter.  But naturally everything changes and gets flipped on its head when the Wolves are involved, and Lawson hit 10 of 11 three-pointers.  That's 10 of 11 threes, including his first 10 (an NBA record) on his way to 37 points (a career high).  Lawson's previous career high for three pointers hit in a game was three.  THREE!  God the basketball in this town sucks. 

5.  Trevor Plouffe.  I don't know if he's the middle infield answer (more on Casilla later), but he's certainly showing he might be ready by destroying AAA pitching thus far this season.  Rochester kicked off their year on Thursday and Plouffe started slowly going 0-4, but he's followed that up by going 3-5 with a double and a homer, 3-5 with a walk, a double and two homers, and 2-4 with a walk, bringing his early season line to .444/.500/1.056.  Simply put, so far he's been completely on fire.  Some may say it's early still and the Twins should wait and not bring him up yet, but those people are the same idiots who stare at a fire in the corner and wait until the entire house is ablaze before reacting.  Come on Bill Smith, don't let the house burn down.  We need some Plouffe.


WHO SUCKED


1.  Alexi Casilla.  I'm sorry, but this guy is not a shortstop and not a starting caliber bat at any position, possibly including National League pitcher.  I'm not even sure he can throw the ball from the hole all the way to first, and just how many times this year are we going to see him dive to stop a ball, get up, and not get the guy or not even bother throwing the ball?  Just don't even bother stopping the ball if you can't throw anybody out.  And don't even get me started with the bat - he's just terrible.  The worst part is that he's actually the best option right now, because the only other player who can play short on the major league roster is Matt Tolbert and we all know what a giant piece of crap he is.  Honest to god, can we get Plouffe up here please?  Maybe he's the answer and maybe he isn't, but at least he's got potential and brings hope to the position.  Every time they read off the Twins lineup and say Casilla's or Tolbert's name a little piece of me dies inside.

2.  Matt Thornton.  I don't know why you'd bother giving the closer to anyone else when you have the nastiness that is Chris Sale - who might have the best stuff of any pitcher in the league - but for some reason the White Sox decided to roll with Thornton.  He repaid that trust by going 0-2 in save opportunities this week, blowing the first against Kansas City (after they scored 3 runs on Joakim Soria to almost steal the game) and then followed that up by getting absolutely bombed for four hits and five runs against Tampa.  The good news for the Sox, and bad news for all White Sox haters which I assume is everyone, is that they look like they may have moved the closer duties over to the unhittable Chris Sale, who picked up the save on Saturday (although he did give up a run).  Hopefully, for the children and America, they stick with Thornton.

3.  Tampa Rays.  I know Evan Longoria is important - not just to the Rays but to all of Major League Baseball, the world, the safety of our nation, and the love in my heart - but it's pretty sad how Tampa has basically just given up after his injury.  A pathetic 1-8 start to the year, and it's been even uglier than that.  They currently rank dead last in the majors in runs scored, batting average, on-base percentage, and slugging percentage and in the bottom six in ERA, quality starts, and batting average against.  Only B.J. Upton is hitting the ball remotely well and he leads the team in basically every batting stat, while the starting pitching has been atrocious and is backed up by a pretty poorly performing bullpen.  This is really, really ugly.  Who knew Longoria had this kind of effect on the entire team?  Pretty clear he's the AL MVP at this point.  

4.  Austin Jackson.  I like Austin Jackson.  He's fast, a good fielder, and he can hit the ball with power and average - at least in theory - but he's been brutal this year.  He's hitting just .184 this year (with an OBP of .244 and SLG of .289), but that's not even the most troubling part.  That would be his impressive 14 strikeouts in just 38 at-bats, a pace that would leave him at 228 Ks for the year if he reaches the 618 at-bats he had last year - a new single-season record.  Although I feel pretty safe saying that if he doesn't start getting some hits he'll be logging some of those ABs down on the farm.  He's a free swinger and is always going to strike out a lot (and never really bothers to walk), but he needs to produce when he does put the ball in play, as he did last year.  The weird thing is that his contact rate isn't even that bad at 76.5% (Carlos Pena is at 58.5% - worst in the majors) and you can have plenty of success even if you swing and miss frequently (Nelson Cruz is at 64.2%), but when he does hit the ball he's making terrible contact (4.3% line drives vs. 52.2% fly balls).  Things are not lining up well for Mr. Jackson to turn it around.  And yes, he's on our fantasy team.  Joy.  

5.  UND Fighting Sue.  I don't know anything about hockey and to be honest don't even completely understand most of their crazy rules, but I know gambling and I know the Sue were a huge favorite at -220 (meaning you'd have to bet $220 to win $100 - that's a huge favorite) so I know that them losing to Michigan was a pretty epic chocke job.  I'll let Snake elaborate further:

"I would like to take this first sentence to thank the Michigan Wolverines for doing gods work and beating the prairie scrubs from the University of North Dakota.    

Certain things can be expected every spring in the midwest.  Robins return, the snow melts, flowers bloom and coach Hakstol and the University of North Dakota lose in fantastic fashion in the NCAA tournament.  Of course nothing changed this year.  Coach Hak brought the best team in the country into a frozen four field filled with mediocre teams.  Instead of walking through the field they got shutout 2-0 by a Michigan team who played a walk-on goalie and lost to the gophers 3-1 this year.  This was a choke job of epic proportions.  Vegas had the Sioux at -250 to win it all while Michigan was +175, UMD was +450 (which bogart cashed) and Notre Dame was +500.  

So basically UND losing on Thursday was a bigger upset than Russia losing to the USA in 1980 olympics.  Only this was better because the majority of TRUE americans hate North Dakota more than those Red bastards from the USSR.  As usual, UND fans took the loss with class and dignity!"

Six Very Important Things this Morning 8.5.2010

1.  An ugly win is still a win.  And any win over a team like the Rays is a good thing, but man did they do everything they could to lose this one.  They wasted a monster outing from Scott Baker, the kind that reminds us that when he is on he is nearly unhittable.  They missed countless opportunities to get more runs across, and ended up heading into the ninth with just a 1-0 lead that was promptly squandered by new closer Matt Capps, with a healthy assist to the piss-poor outfield that seemed to make mistakes all game long, only to have Baker pitch around them - something Capps couldn't do. 

But despite their stunning ability to strike out on pitches out of the zone last night, they managed to squeak out a win over the Rays thanks to Delmon Young's big single in the 13th.  Of course, that hit came with runners on the corners and nobody out, so you would have thought a big inning was coming, but this was the Twins, and much like the rest of this series they were unable to get anything resembling a timely hit after Young, ending up on the right side of the 2-1 victory thanks to Matt Guerrier's six straight outs.

I do realize I've been a bit hard on this team in this series, and if they can win tomorrow they end up with a split, and you can't really expect anything better on the road against a team like Tampa, but they have just been so close in every game.  When two good teams matchup it's often the little things that make the difference, and do you really feel good with Gardy out there being the difference between a win and a loss (hello Guerrier vs. Upton two nights ago).  He clearly does some things right, enough to make the playoffs more often than not, but he is not a good game manager.  Sometimes that makes the difference.  I'm not calling for his head or anything, but sometimes he can really piss me right the hell off.  Seriously, go ahead and start keeping track of all the really good game decisions he makes.  I'll wait.



2.  Is it weird that nobody cares about this?  A-Rod finally hit his 600th career home run yesterday afternoon, just a mere 12 games and 46 at-bats since he hit #599.  I know everybody hates A-Rod, and for some reason the fans boo whenever he comes to bat, but I've never quite understood that.  Because he makes a ton of money?  They all make a ton of money.  Because he used steroids?  They all used steroids.  I mean, 600 HR, even in this day and age, is still a pretty special thing.  Only six other people have done it, with A-Rod being the youngest to reach that mark, and before you go spouting off about cheaters know that two other members, Bonds and Sosa, are cheaters too.  And doesn't A-Rod's cheating seem slightly less grievous somehow than Bonds or Sosa.  Bonds went from a great hitter to probably the second best of all-time, while Sosa went from a AAAA player to a home run hitting machine who still sucked.  A-Rod, to me, just doesn't seem anywhere near that level.  I actually kind of like the guy.  I'm not saying I want to go pick out curtains or anything, but if he threw some money at me and there was a little wine and maybe a back rub involved, who knows?  

3.  There is no way Bud Selig will be able to handle this.  You have probably heard the Texas Rangers are having all kinds of financial troubles, which is really too bad since they could make a run at the World Series this year.  What you may not have heard is that they are currently up for auction and it's basically Nolan Ryan vs. Mark Cuban.  So it's stoic, professional, respects the game ex-stud pitcher and maybe the most famous baseball name in history Nolan Ryan versus trashy, spazzy, do it his own way, insult every in power and get fined every five minutes Mark Cuban.  Now I think Cuban would be good for baseball - he would treat his players great, spend on a Yankee-level for payroll, and give MLB its best villain since John Rocker - but I'm guessing Bud Selig disagrees.  Of course, this is the same guy who thinks the All-Star game should mean something and almost wrecked the game twice (strike, steroids), so I like my chances.

4.  This is what Carlos Gomez should have been.  Sigh.  Back in 2007, Carlos Gomez was one of the Mets top prospects while Carlos Gonzalez was one of the top prospects in the Arizona system.  Both were centerfielders.  Both were fast as all hell.  Both were toolsy.  Both were plus defenders.  And neither understood the strike zone.  Both have been traded since then (Gonzalez twice), but while we've seen Gomez struggle to become more than a fast, inconsistent player, Gonzalez has become one of the best in the game.  After hitting two home runs today he now has a line of .319/.349/.559 with 23 home runs, 72 RBI, and 15 steals, numbers that rank him as #2 in the NL in batting average, #4 in slugging, #6 in RBI, #7 in homers, and #6 in OPS.  Take heart though, Carlos Gomez fans (all one of you), most defensive metrics have Go-Go as a much better defender than Gonzalez.  Take that!  Although Gonzalez did have one unfair advantage - he go to learn from the great Todd Helton.

5.  Edwin Jackson made me look like an idiot.  Remember how I was all like, "Jackson will suck in the AL he's not even good in the NL" and "Chicago is so stupid they totally got stuck with Jackson" and "I'm smart"?  Well I'm still an idiot.  Jackson led the White Sox to yet another stupid win, which makes them something like 50-1 in the last two months, pitching seven very good innings, allowing just one run on nine hits and a walk while striking out six.  Not a masterful shutdown performance, but pretty solid, even if it was against the suddenly punchless Tigers.  Seriously, what is going on with the Sox pitching?  It doesn't even matter who they throw out there, they are all Cy Young candidates.  I don't know what kind of magic elixir they have in Chicago, but I suspect it has something to do with Dayton wings.

6.  Brett Favre is a creepy perv?  Favre retirement talk, with him finally coming out and saying it's all about the health of his ankle and that he hasn't made a decision yet, but that's not important.  More interesting is that Jenn Sterger (pictured below), famous for having a large rack and being a Florida State fan in a cowboy hat, has told Deadspin that Favre used to send her pictures of his ding-dong when they were both employed by the Jets.  Now, I'm all in favor of people sending each other pictures of themselves in various stages of undress, but generally only when it is something both parties are interested in (or the sender is a woman).  When it's a dude sending pictures of his crank (or of him holding his crank while wearing crocs) to a chick who isn't interested, not to mention to a not interested chick who is 20 years younger than him, I get a little skeeved out.  Like, Pete Rose in his underwear skeeved out.  But doesn't this also seem like something Rose would do?  Looks like my Favre = Rose comparison just continues to get more and more accurate.

Week in Review - 6/28/2010

You know what's awesome?  Scottie Reynolds. Undrafted.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sweet.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  The World Cup.  I'm not a soccer fan, not really at all, but I really, truly dig the World Cup.  All these countries, battling to be the king of the most popular sport in the world, and the more I watch, the more I understand.  I now know the difference between a good, legal tackle and a foul.  I now know a lot of the strategies involved, including the cross and various versions of the give and go, and I knew enough to know that once Ghana scored it would be very difficult for the U.S. to tie it up, so when they did on Landon Donovan's penalty kick I knew enough to know it was pretty incredible (and on a related note, I also now know why a commenter on this blog who posted a lot about soccer used the handle "L. Cakes.")

Will I continue to be interested in soccer after the World Cup is over?  Almost certainly not.  Will I keep watching even though the U.S. has been eliminated?  You bet.  I'm even at the point where I understand all that passing around the mid-field area.  Seriously, if you can't enjoy the World Cup, you might want to re-evaluate yourself as a sports fan.  And probably as a person, too.

2.  Carl Pavano.  At the time when the rest of the Twins' starters are pitching as if they've gone retarded, creepy mustachioed man Carl Pavano is coming to the rescue, much as Super Mario comes to the rescue of the Princess whether she has been kidnapped by a giant, barrel throwing, mechanically inclined monkey or a giant, fire-breathing, axe-wielding turtle dragon.  A nice little complete game shut-out on Saturday to stop the season death-spiral of doom was just what Dr. Mario ordered, and is the second complete game he's spun in a row.  Pavano actually has shockingly good numbers this year.  His ERA of 3.33 is 16th in the AL, and his WHIP of 1.03 is second behind just future Twin Cliff Lee.  I'll do a more thorough breakdown of why Pavano is so frickin' good and if I think it will continue or is just fluky in a future post, but for now I suspect he either ate a mushroom or some kind of fireball flower.

3.  Edwin Jackson.  It doesn't really matter that he walked 8 guys, and it doesn't matter that it took 149 pitches, a no-hitter is a no-hitter.  And a no-hitter against the Rays is an awfully nice feather to place in one's cap, if one was so inclined.  I've featured Jackson on here before for being awesome, and he's just been out of this world lately.  After running up a record of 3-6 with a 6.03 ERA during the first two months of the season and causing people such as myself to wonder if he was a lost cause.  Well, now in June he's , all topped off by this no-hitter.

Of course, 149 pitches is ridiculous, and now he'll probably get lit up like a Blackburn the next couple of times out.  Then he'll be put on the 15-day DL with "arm soreness" or "dead arm."  He'll come back and get lit up again, and then will be shut down for the year.  Then it will come out that he needs offseason surgery on his arm and he'll miss a full year.  Then when he comes back his fastball will have lost about 5 mph and he won't be an effective starter.  He'll reinvent himself as a mediocre middle reliever and hang on for a couple years before ending up in the Northern League for a couple years.  But hey, at least got the no-hitter.  Sweet.


4.  R.A. Dickey.  What the hell?  I mean seriously, what is going on?  Dickey, after tossing eight shut-out innings on Wednesday against the Tigers, is now 6-0 with an ERA of 2.33 and a WHIP of 1.29 since joining the Mets rotation in mid-May.  Carlos Silva is 8-0 for the Cubs with an ERA of 3.01 and a WHIP of 1.05.  Livan Hernandez is 6-4 with an ERA of 3.10 and a WHIP of 1.28.  What do these three have in common, other than their ex-Twinness?  Well, for one, they are all three putting up better numbers that Matt Garza so far (8-5, 4.10, 1.31), the only ex-Twin starter I thought I would miss.  For two, they'd make a better 3-4-5 than Baker, Slowey, and Blackburn right now, and it's not even close.  I still believe these guys are going to regress, and regress hard, but I've been believing that for two months.  For now, I'll just say this is a bunch of crap, but it doesn't change the fact that Baker/Slowey/Blackburn suck.  We need some kind of nickname for these dickfors.  Like, the Sucktastic Three or something.   


5.  White Sox.  I know I mentioned them in this space last week, but the run continues and they are suddenly just X.X games out of first place.  Last week you could chalk up to a scheduling fluke since they swept the Pirates and Nationals, but this week included a sweep over the Braves, and that's no joke.  A joke would be "A woman goes to check out at the Super Market, and puts a carton of eggs, a package of bacon, a gallon of milk, and some butter on the conveyor.  The checkout guy looks at her groceries, looks at her, and says with conviction, 'You're definitely single.'  She looks at the guy and says, 'Wow, you could tell that just from four items I bought at the grocery store?'  He replies, "No, it's because you're f*cking ugly."

Anyway the Sox pitching is suddenly really awesome (particularly Peavy) and they're probably going to win the division after they end up trading for Prince Fielder.


WHO SUCKED

1.  Twins.  Really no other way to say it, these guys sucked balls this week.  A 1-5 road trip against a couple of middling National League teams?  Ugh.  And with the Tigers still playing well and the Sox nearly as hot as Alice Eve, we've got yet another three team barn burner in the central.  I really wish you could point to just one issue, but suddenly it's everything.  The pitching is completely mediocre, but giving up an average of 5.5 runs per game should lead to more than one win if you have a good offense - but suddenly they don't, scoring an average of just 2.5 runs per game themselves.

Getting shutdown by Yovani Gallardo is one thing - it sucks, but it's acceptable - and I guess Pelphrey has somehow become decent, but Manny Parra?  Jon frickin' Niese?  Special shout-out to Cuddy Bear for hitting .167 this week with no power and 3x as many strikeouts as hits.  Although to be fair, that might not be Cuddy's fault, since there was apparently a mandate that came down from high against hitting with any kind of power, since nobody bothered to this week unless they were going against Johan.  Apparently unless Carl Pavano comes to the rescue (see above comparison), this team is screwed.  Might as well not even bother trading for Lee.  Just becoming sellers and pick up some prospects.    

2. Timberwolves. Seriously, what the hell? The more I think about this draft the more upset I get. Wes Johnson is fine and was the obvious and necessary pick at #4, but after that they end up with another wing who has been in the league for five years and proved himself to be pretty mediocre, an undersized power forward, and two Euros? Euros never work out, everybody knows this. The success rate is like 4%. How would this have sounded instead: Johnson, James Anderson, Jordan Crawford, Soloman Alabi, and Derrick Caracter? Or Johnson, Anderson, Hassan Whiteside, Terrico White, and Gani Lawal? Either of those scenarios could have happened last night, with the trade of pick #23 or not. Instead they got the ball rolling with the insane trade of Luke Babbitt and Ryan Gomes for Martell Webster, and just kept doing baffling things all night. Gomes' contract is a valuable asset because it isn't guaranteed, why thrown him in on a deal that's probably already slanted against you? Why I expected anything more, I have no idea.

3.  Tommy Hanson.  There are bad games, and then there are epic bad games (hi Nick Blackburn).  Hanson's outing on Tuesday was essentially the quintessential definition of "getting the shit ripped out of him."  Three and two-thirds innings pitched, 13 hits allowed, 9 runs allowed.  13 hits.  An average of more than three per inning.  Nick Blackburn's worst outing was nowhere near this bad.  "But wait!", you say, "Blackburn had back-to-back crappy outings, surely he is worse than Hanson."  Not so fast my uninformed friends.  Hanson pitched again on Sunday, and again lasted just three and two-thirds innings, this time surrendering six runs on eight hits.  An improvement.  At this rate he might last past the fifth inning by sometime in August.  It's a deadheat betwixt him and Blackburn for the Livan Hernandez award for worst starter who keeps getting the ball (a fluky Livan year does not change the name of the award.)   

4.  Italy (and France).  Defending champions?  Ousted.  Dirty frenchies?  Heading home in complete disarray.  No, I'm not an expert or even a novice when it comes to soccer analysis so I can't and won't really try to break down any of this, but these teams were both expected to, at the very least, advance to the knockout stage.  But they didn't, with France losing to both South Africa and Mexico and Italy losing to Slovakia and tying Paraguay (ok) and New Zealand (mind-boggling) to finish last in their group.  Seeing how soccer is the #1 sport over there, and the World Cup is the by far biggest event, I'm guessing there are a lot of wine drinkers not very happy right now.  Seriously, in Italy they have taps for wine right next to the beer taps.  Crazy.

[UPDATE:  I'm going to go ahead and throw England in here too, since I'm watching them get destroyed by Germany in the first knockout round.  Good god, they play defense like the Golden State Warriors.]

5.  A.J. Burnett.  At this point we almost have to assume he's actively trying to sabotage the Yankees, right?  In his two starts this week, Burnett lasted just seven combined innings, giving up 15 hits and 13 earned runs with an 8-to-9 walk-to-strikeout ratio.  And he certainly didn't waste any time setting the tone for the week, giving up three home runs in the first inning of his first start (against Arizona).  He's striking out about a third less batters this year than in previous years, giving up about 25% more home runs, and allowing batters to hit about .030 higher.  Oh, and he's lost a full mile per hour off his fastball, and it's by far his worst pitch, but since he's lost confidence in his curve for some reason he's throwing it far more often.  Which would explain why he continues to get hammered.  That's four out of five starts where he's given up at least six runs, three straight where he's pitched four innings or less, and a season ERA of 5.25, which ranks 51st out of 56 pitchers in the A.L. who qualify (Nick Blackburn is last), and a WHIP of 1.54, which is 49th.  Oh, and he's still owed $66 million over the next four seasons.  And THAT my friends, is really a joke.   


Lastly, I need to make a very, very strong movie review and I'm telling you to go rent She's Out of My League.  Funny throughout with several laugh out loud moments ("I'm sorry, are you a plane doctor?") and really hilarious scenes (bowling), to go along with a super hot chick.  Very strongly recommended.  The anti-Scottie Reynolds of movies, if you will.

Plus, this:

Week in Review - 5/24/2010

 How weird is it that in my very last post, the one about Justin Cobbs, I referenced 'Lil Romeo and his career at USC, and now news is breaking all over the place that Romeo is leaving the program.  Some people just report the news.  I create it.  With great power, comes great responsibility.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Kobe Bryant.  I'm pretty sure anybody arguing that Kobe isn't the best player in the NBA at this point is either retarded or a moron, and it absolutely kills me to compliment him.  It's impossible not to after the games he's put together against the Suns this week.  Game 1:  40 points on 13-23 shooting, 5 assists, 5 boards.  Game 2:  21 points on 8-18 shooting, 13 assists, 5 rebounds.  And he was masterful.  Took over scoring in Game 1 when the Suns single-covered him, and then became facilitator when they doubled him in Game 2.  If he played like this all the time, he'd be the clear-cut best player in the NBA (he also had 36-11-9 in Game 3 but I didn't watch it because I was watching Lost so I can't comment).  Plus, he made an appearance on the awesome awesome Modern Family for their season finale, and actually seemed somewhat likable.  Or at least he didn't rape anybody.  That I know of.

2.  Dice-K.   Matsuzaka almost pitched a no-hitter on Saturday night, going 7 and 2/3 before giving up a soft single to Juan Castro (yes, THE Juan Castro) to break it up.  And why wouldn't he?  I mean he came into that game with an ERA of 5.97 and WHIP of 1.3, and had only made it 7 innings in one of his four starts since returning from injury, so it was obvious a game like this was coming.  Seriously, what is the deal with Boston and pitchers?  It's like anybody who goes there suddenly has these random unhittable nights.  Lester and Buchholz have no-hitters in the last couple of years, and now Dice-K with this masterful performance out of nowhere.  I'd be fascinated by this and look up who the pitching coach there is, but I hate the Red Sox with all my heart so I'm not going to waste any more time here.

3.  Bryce Harper.  I suppose it's gotten to the point where I can't really ignore Harper anymore, especially since he's going to be the number 1 pick for the Nationals in the upcoming amateur draft, and helped propel his JC team to the JuCo World Series.  How did he lead them to the NJCAA Western Division Championship?  Simply by hitting for the cycle on Friday and then following that up with a 6-6 game with four home runs and ten RBIs, going 12 for 13 in the last two games.  They hype on this kid has been ridiculous, but it's looking like he might actually be able to live up to it.  More background here if you're interested, but in case you aren't familiar with him a quick summary is that he's a 17-year old catcher who dropped out of high school to attend the College of Southern Nevada after his sophomore year, taking the GED in order to get eligible to play and will now be eligible for the draft despite not being able to vote yet.  Basically his whole life has been geared around being a professional baseball player.  When this burn out comes, it's going to be spectacular.  You know those repressed kids who get to college and just go insane with freedom?  Like that x100.

4.   Edwin Jackson.  You remember this guy.  Big-time prospect for the Rays, who was then a big-time prospect for the Tigers, who was then shipped to the D-backs for Max Scherzer.  So far this season, it had looked like there was a reason he'd been on three teams in three years, racking up a 7.43 ERA in 8 starts, allowing 60 hits in 46 innings, and walking 18 with just 32 strikeouts.  Suddenly this week, however, things look like they might be turning around.  On Monday he went 8 innings, allowing 4 hits and no runs while striking out 12 and walking just two.  Then on Saturday, he followed it up with a 7 and 2/3 inning performance, allowing six hits and five runs.  That Saturday outing may not sound that great, but he struck out 9 and walked none, and had allowed just one run through seven innings before giving up a couple of homers in the 8th.  He may very well go back to sucking, but that 21-2 K/BB ratio in his last two starts says he may have turned a corner.

5.  Justin Morneau.  Good god.  Completely ridiculous.  You know how a lot of people say Ted Williams was the best hitter ever?  And others go with Ruth, or Bonds, or maybe Ty Cobb?  Clearly all those people are idiots, because it's obvious Morneau is the best hitter ever.  I haven't looked this up, but I'm pretty sure his line drive % this year is 100%.  Or maybe like 75%, with 24% being home runs and 1% being ground balls that are hit so hard infielders are jumping out of the way.  Seriously, remember how amazing Joe Mauer's season was last year?  And yeah, it was pretty incredible, but this year Morneau is better than him in every single statistic.  18 points higher in batting average, 53 points higher in OBP, and 114 points better in slugging, and he's on pace to hit 15 or so more homers and walk about 60 more times.  Just crazy numbers.  Let's put it this way.  Morneau is about 30% better this year compared to Mauer last year if we use OPS+ as our guide.  To put that in perspective, last year Mauer was about 30% better than Michael Cuddyer last year.  That's how good Morneau has been.


WHO SUCKED

1.  Orlando Magic.  There is just so much to choose from here.  What's your favorite part?  Vince Carter's Dajuan Wagner impression at the end of game 2?  Getting smoked in an absolute must-win game by 23 in a game that wasn't nearly that close?  Letting Rasheed become a major factor?  Letting Big Baby become a major factor?  Dwight Howard being dominated in two of the three games by a combination of Kendrick Perkins and Rasheed?  Rashard Lewis taking three games to finally surpass his season per game average in scoring, and only surpassing it by a single point thanks to his 6-24 shooting?  Or maybe watching as KG and Ray Allen, who had looked pretty broken down at times this season, suddenly dominating like it was 2002.  Just a whole lot to love here.  I suppose I could give credit to the Celtics, but that's not nearly as fun, and it's really been pretty pathetic.  Orlando Tragic, indeed.

2.  Tommy Hanson.   There's nothing quite as exquisite as watching someone I've pimped on the record completely flame out.  Except instead of exquisite I mean whatever is the exact opposite of that.  Hanson is having an excellent year thus far, and will likely continue to have an excellent year, and will probably have a very good career, but for one afternoon he was doing a hell of a Jesse Crain impression if Crain was a starter.  On Thursday against the Reds, Hanson couldn't even get out of the second inning.  He faced a total of 16 batters, and got less than a third of them out, giving up 8 hits, 2 walks, and 8 earned runs in just 1 and 2/3 innings.  Ouch, Tommy.  Ouch.  I feel betrayed.  Like Caesar.  Or the Cherokee.

3.  Rickie Weeks.   Once a top prospect, Weeks struggled for his first four seasons a bit, being about a league average hitter and below average fielder.  Then last season, he seemed to be putting it together, adding some power to his already always impressive on-base percentage, hitting 9 home runs in his first 37 games, and looked like he might fault towards the top of the second-basemen rankings if such a thing existed.  Unfortunately, an injury derailed the rest of the season and he missed the rest of the year.  He started off this season again like gangbusters and was kicking some ass, but the last couple of weeks he's fallen off the face of the planet.  He went 3-18 this week.  When added to his 3-24 week the week prior, you can see why his average has dropped from the .330s where it was earlier this season all the way down to the .230s.  His power is also gone (slugging .382, lowest of his career), and he's already made five errors - which I think is more than the entire Twins team.  I think his window has pretty much closed, and he's never going to end up living up to his potential.  It's probably the dreadlocks.

4.  Kerry Wood.  Remember when I mentioned that Wood would probably be a pretty sought after closer around the trade deadline this year assuming he got healthy?  Well, he got healthy.  Too bad he sucks.  On Friday he pitched an inning against the Reds, giving up a home run, and actually lowered his ERA by more than two runs.  That's because on Wednesday he pitched against the Royals, and only managed to get one out.  While trying to get that one out, he walked two batters and gave up four hits, allowing five runs to score.  He did pitch a scoreless inning Sunday which lowered his ERA to 13.50 and WHIP to 2.63, and might end up being good again, but he certainly didn't get himself off to a good start.

5.  Channing Frye.  As far as NBA players go, Frye is not a particularly good one, although he's not terrible either.  He does have one particularly valuable skill however, and that is being 6-11 and being able to make three-pointers.  In fact, he made them at a 44% clip, good enough for 6th in the league, was in the All-Star 3-point contest, and takes more than half his attempts from behind the arc.  He's basically a more accurate Rick Rickert, except in the NBA it's a valuable skill and doesn't necessarily mean you're a big baby who is afraid to play inside.   Anyway, when a guy with one skill can't pull off that skill in the Western Conference Finals, it ain't pretty.  Through three games he's 1-14 from three, and 1-20 overall from the floor.  Somehow, the Suns are only down 2-1 despite this.  Just a brutal choke job.  Also, can somebody please tell Jared Dudley to stop cheering for himself so hard every time he makes a shot?  It's really irritating.  Like watching some chowder at open gym who finally hits a shot after clanging ten in a row off the side of the backboard.


Special mention for suckitude to Todd Coffey.  What a spaz.  I'm surprised they don't make him wear a helmet out there.