Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Gophers vs. NDSU Live Blog

I couldn't make it to the game tonight, but will be watching live, so why not live blog for the first time this year?  I used to do this to some critical acclaim, so might as well fire it up.

20:00 - Announcer guys point out Tubby has 113 career wins with Minnesota.  Pretty sure nearly 4 of those are against good Big 10 teams.  Need to double that up this year.

20:00 - How bad is that Kevin Correia signing by the way?  And 2 years!??!??  He's a right-handed, National Leagued Nick Blackburn and they already tried that last year with Jason Marquis.  I guess somebody has to mop up the fifth spot, but why not let's the kids throw rather than burning it on a younger Marquis?  Or, they think he can be the #3 guy, which is the worst thing I've ever heard.

20:00 - ZOMBIE NATION!! Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

19:47 - Elliott Elliason draws a quick foul.  Unguardable.

19:43 - Rodney with a long 2.  Terrible shot, but it went down.  Gonna be an easy game if that's happening.

18:38 - NDSU plan seems to be get the ball to Bjorklund on the block against Elliason, and Gophers are content to not help, which is a good call since NDSU shoots the three so well.  They've gone to him on all three possessions so far and gotten a block shot by Elliason, a hoop, and a 3-second call.  And, not for nothing, but Elliason needs to be able to handle Summit League big men before he can get a lot of conference minutes.

17:21 - Joe Coleman gets lost on defense again (although to be fair he's been MUCH better this year) which leads to a wide open monster dunk by NDSU white guy, which is actually the kind of play you can't let the Bison get off because pretty soon they're going to "start to believe they can win" which is a total cliche but cliches are true for a reason and I really don't want these farmer dorks hanging around.

16:55 - Coleman gets burned by the guy with the ball after not switching quickly enough off a pick.  He is a truly horrendous defender.

16:04 - Both Hollins's have missed open threes.  Don't like how this game is going.  Not just the score (9-4 NDSU) but everything about it.  This game is french fried taters and I'm the opposite of the sling blade guy.

15:30 - Rodney dunk.  He has all six for the Gophers.  At least he looks good.

15:03 - Going to TV timeout at 9-6 NDSU with Dre going to the line.  Gophers really upped the intensity all of a sudden.   Hopefully that translates into you know, winning, and stuff.

15:03 - Weird D-Backs and Indians trade just went down.  Looks like a 6-player swap of prospects and middle relievers.  The bad news?  Trevor Bauer to the Indians.  Would really prefer to NOT have him in the AL Central.  Felt the same way about Chris Sale, and see?  I'm always right.

14:57 - Andre missed both.  Sweet heavens of jesus wept.

13:41 - All they do is run Felt (big-time 3-point guy) around screens the whole time he's in there.  Good test for Austin since you know he's going to be getting all the toughest defensive assignments.  Well him or Joe Coleman.

12:51 - Maverick throws the ball directly to a NDSU player.  He was trying to hit Oto on the wing though, so it's probably a wash.

12:25 - I'm going to pretend Welch tried to bank that one.

11:59 - Felt drives into the lane and manages to get called for a charge and airball a floater at the same time.  I'm guessing that's why they tell you to hang out on the perimeter, wiener.

11:34 - Has Oto gone retarded?

11:28 - I think there may have been more to that trade.  I'm only getting partial info from Twitter and it's too hard to search for it while trying to count how many passes Osenieks can drop on one possession.  Also, Mbakwe grabbing every board in sight right now.  13-12 Gophers.

10:48 - Ahanmisi hits the 3-ball off a Mbakwe kick out (3 fantasy points for me!).  I hate to say it - like really really hate it - but he's not been completely horrendous this year.

9:39 - Welch/Ahanmisi/Osenieks/Ingram/Mbakwe is not a good look.  There's nobody in that group who can create offense.  Mbakwe is the closest thing but I don't know if it's the knee or what but he doesn't seem to have much of a post game this year.

8:16 - This appears to be one of those games where Coleman plays with his head in his rectum.

7:58 - Did you ever stop and think that the classic Christmas song "Baby It's Cold Outside" is about date rape?  Think about it.

7:11 - I don't take back what I said about Coleman, but my goodness is he clever when he has the ball in the lane.  Probably from playing in the driveway with the taller Dan growing up.  Then again, he probably could just bump Dan once and he'd quit and go inside to play Bubble Bobble.

5:36 - Rodney Williams with a 360 that somehow managed to also be an absolute hammer dunk.  Got to be #1 on SportsCenter.  They like dunks and stuff.  Gophers 26, NDSU 20.

4:41 - I cannot decide if Mo Walker looks good or horrible.  It's the same every game.  He's a two-face.

4:14 - Wait, a two face either looks good or bad.  Mo is a decision I just can't make.  Rather than a two face he's more like Michelle Williams or Robin Tunney.

2:40 - Back to back 5 second calls.  You don't see that every day.  Or ever.

0:53 - Tip-jam for Mbakwe.  Does my heart good to see it.  Like a bunny holding a kitten.

0:00 - Hollins' three as the half ends and the Gophers close on an 8-0 to go into the half up 11.  They should (SHOULD) just need to just keep putting the hammer down to win this one easily.  We shall see.

0:00 - Rodney dunk already on youtube thanks to zipsofakron who writes either for the Gopher Hole, From the Barn, or both:

0:00 - So this has nothing to do with the Gophers, but I can't stop laughing at this Jay Cutler story since I read about it about a week ago.  I mean, it could be a completely random time of the day with nothing going on and I'll think about it and just laugh.
Friend is in a bar in Chicago during the off-season. He goes to the bathroom and sees Jay Cutler, hat on backwards, taking a piss at the urinal. So the guy starts going to the bathroom and says, “Hey, I’m a huge fan, also went to Vanderbilt… ”
Jay throws his head back, still pissing, eyes half-closed because he’s drunk, interrupts him with, “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
 Cannot stop giggling.  Like a little girl.

20:00 - Choo to Cincy is the main piece of the trade, with the Indians getting Bauer and Drew Stubbs.  I can't wait to watch Stubbs face Correia.  The stoppable force vs. the movable object when it comes to strikeouts.  Gonna be sweet.

17:23 - 37-29 Gophers.  I missed the start of the half because I was melting american cheese on saltines which is delicious and Mbakwe is already in.  Maybe he started the second half which maybe we are done with this nonsense.

16:44 - Mbakwe with 10 boards already.  Looking pretty good.  Twitter nerds attacking that dude who wrote how he "had no explosiveness" anymore.  Relax, nerds.  So Trevor dunked.  He didn't even do a 360 or anything.  I'm going to go make this same joke on twitter now, as I watch Mbakwe make another lay-up against some hapless fool.

15:43 - Dre Hollins takes it to the rack 1-on-4 in transition, has it knocked away out of bounds.  I don't care what fundamental dorks say, I like a little reckless in my PG.

15:26 - Gophers realizing NDSU can't deal with either Rodney Williams or Mbakwe down low and just feeding the post.  Nice to see them appear as if they are coached.  For the last several years, whether Tubby was coaching or not, it sure didn't look like it.

14:29 - Mbakwe air-balls a free throw.  That's his second one this year (at least).  Between that and Andre Hollins actually missing free throws something weird is going on.  Even more weird?  Coleman, Elliason, and Williams all hitting 70%.  It's kind of like when you're playing Contra and you lose all your lives but player 2 has some left so you just steal one.

 13:30 - 49-32 Gophers and looking like they've taken control.  Best news of this game is that Mbakwe is looking a lot like his old self tonight, absolutely crashing the boards with reckless abandon with 13 boards and 6 on the offensive end.  Remember last year when he'd all of a sudden just decide, "yeah, I'm going to get every missed shot now"?  It's like that.  In sad news, do you realize when Williams and Mbakwe graduate next year's big man duo will be Elliason and Walker.  Oof.

12:55 - Andre Ingram would be a very promising sophomore.

12:08 - Osenieks really shoots like a shooter.  He doesn't make them like a shooter, but he shoots like one.

9:45 - The way Walker has played tonight, and he just missed a lay-up, I'm starting to think he's not a two face he's just ugly.  I'll give him the benefit of the doubt since he's still dealing with coming back from an injury, but that feels like an excuse.  That's an excuse, isn't it?  It is.  I knew it.

7:28 - Gophers trying to let NDSU back in the game here up just 57-45 now.  Good thing NDSU is terrible.

6:43 - Wow.  Rodney Williams just blows right by his guy coming from the perimeter, then when dude overcommits to stop the drive he stops on a dime, pivots in the other direction, and hits the turnaround jumper.  NBA level move right there.

4:42 - Another rebound for Mbakwe.  That's like, 15 or something.  Austin hits a J on the break and Gophers up 66-50.  I'm getting tired.

3:37 - Wally Ellenson on the floor for the Gophers.  I guess we solved the question of the redshirt.  And he immediately turns it over.  Great.

2:55 - Ellenson nearly turns it over again but is bailed out with a foul call.  EVERYTHING IS GOING GREAT!

1:40 - Ellenson continues to play like a walk-on.  I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, obviously since it's his first game, but not exactly impressed.  Gophers up 70-57.  Line is 14.

0:00 - Gophers win 70-57.  Do not cover.

1 comment:

Tubtastic said...

In fairness to Dan, Bubble Bobble was a highly addictive and very underrated game.