I recently made a trip into Wisconsin for some gambling at St. Croix Casino in Turtle Lake, Wisconsin. I have a pai gow addiction and can sit there and drink and play cards for hours on end. I recently discovered the waitress will bring you two drinks at once, which is incredible.
On my way there I stopped at a gas station for a little pick me up. Maybe a nice energy beverage and some preserved meat to get me through the drive. When I get to the cooler I see a series of REALTREE energy drinks, complete with camoflage exteriors. I figure this is too amazing/hilarious not to get so I pick up the LOW CARB one because I'm watching my figure.
First, upon cracking it open I get a whiff of ozone and something that stings the nostrils. There is also a strong effervescence like I've just dropped two tabs of alka-seltzer. After tasting I realize it's not as bad as the smell, it's much, much worse. It's like a mix of doe estrus, battery acid and sadness. Truly awful tasting stuff. I thought I was going to go blind or have a seizure or something. I don't though; and in the hopes that it would give me max energy (what else could be it's purpose besides torture?) I downed most of it. All it gave me was gut rot. I didn't "wake the buck up"!
According to their website, the full line of RealTree flavors are:
Blaze Outdoor Energy Drink
Max-1 Low Carb Energy Drink
AP Outdoor Energy Drink
AP Snow Outdoor Energy Drink
AP Pink Outdoor Energy Drink
I haven't tried any of the others, but I wouldn't recommend it. Maybe I didn't like it because I'm a "city boy"?
Further research shows that RealTree energy drinks have a facebook page! Here's what people are saying:
Nice use of the question mark there, Noah.
Jimmie, you poor SOB, you must have had your entire mouth and sinuses burned out in some kind of explosion to think this shit tastes good.
Here's my review in numbers:
Look/Feel: 10/10 - It's camo and that's just hilarious.
Taste: 0/10 - Oof.
Effect: 2/10 - Maybe nothing happened because I was concentrating so hard on something maybe happening death- related or otherwise.