Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Random Thoughts on a Tuesday Night

It's some random thoughts on a Tuesday night, much like the title told you.  What the title didn't tell you, however, and what you know that people who just read the title and clicked close don't, is that I'm sucking back some sweet, sweet alcohol while I type this, in the form of vodka & iced tea.  Is that weird?  I feel like that might be weird, but it's good.  So suck it.

- I read something today where a writer asked if Dayton was the next Butler, college hoopswise. I wish I could find the damn article, but nevertheless it sent me into a rage, as you'd guess, because I hate Dayton worse than I hate you. If you recall, or if you're new, you might remember that the Bar I frequent when I go to Chicago for the NCAA Tournament with Snacks, Snake, and Dawger when we visit Bogart and his giant TV is also a Dayton bar, and one year we were there Dayton was actually playing and their fans were some of the biggest idiot poser fancy boys I had ever seen.

So, last year when I was previewing the Atlantic 10 I referred to Dayton fans as hipster doofuses and predicted they'd miss the NCAA Tournament. Dayton fans found the blog and did not much appreciate my comments. Several emails of an unsavory nature were exchanged, there was mention of my living in a trailer (note: not true), and let's just say it wasn't pretty. Also, I fucking hate Dayton. Thus, said article which I can not find pretty much prompted this entire post.

And it deserves to be written about, because Dayton is about as far from Butler as Nick Blackburn is from a competent pitcher. First, Dayton's conference is light years beyond Butler's. The Horizon is a perennial one-bid conference, whereas the A-10 almost always sends between two and four teams; might as well ask if Xavier is the next North Carolina. Secondly, what exactly are we basing this dynastic prediction on, four straight years of underachievement topped off by an NIT Championship?  One NCAA berth in the last six years?  Really, an NIT Championship doesn't mean anything - really, despite what they want you to think nobody uses it as a springboard to success, ever - and even if it did, Dayton is losing seven players and 3 starters so who cares?  This whole dynasty is based around an overrated PF (Chris Wright) who can't ever stay healthy, and now they need a freshman and a transfer from fucking Drake to be their ballhandlers.

Dayton is a dynasty the same way Two and a Half Men is a good show - it's not true and you'd have to be a god damned moron to think so.  The Flyers and their fans can all bite me.

-  Jennifer Love Hewitt is going to be guesting on Law & Order:  SVU?  Man, how far has she fallen?  If you have a chance and haven't, go rent Heartbreakers and prepare for boner city.  No kidding, probably the hottest chick in a movie ever not counting Mila Kunis in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Audrina in Sorority Row, and Tiffani Thiessen in anything ever.  You forget, but Jennifer Love Hewitt used to be at the absolute top of the hot chick pyramid.  Now she's doing Lifetime movies and guest spots.  She's now the Dayton of hot chicks.  Sad.

-  I'm all for relaxing, but anybody else think the Twins might want to continue playing this season instead of just packing it in until the playoffs start?  I'm not entirely sure of the rules here, but I think if they don't start winning games Bud Selig might step in and renounce them from the playoffs.  And who the hell is going to be the fourth starter now?  Slowey threw batting practice yesterday, and tonight Blackburn is getting lit up by Mike Aviles and Kila Ka'aihue for christ's sake.  Everything is set up for Baker, and he's probably the best choice anyway because he's the least likely to give up 6 runs in 3 innings.  Not that he's necessarily not likely, just slightly less likely than the velocity haters he's in competition with.

Seriously, close your eyes.  Now take off your pants.  Now imagine it's game four of the ALDS, we're at Yankee stadium, and the Twins are down 2 games to 1, but all games have been closely played.  They need someone to shut down the Yankees on the road.  Who is the last pitcher you'd want out there?  Correct, it's Nick Blackburn.  I would have also accepted Kevin Slowey, Anthony Swarzak, or Jeff Manship.  Scott Baker ranks slightly ahead of them because he's more likely to be absolutely lights out, no matter who he's facing.  Of course, we could also see the longest home run in the history of Yankee baseball (and Mantle allegedly hit a 600 footer).  Yes, longer than Mantles.  Imagine a 3-0 count on A-Rod.  Now take off your pants again.  Now imagine the bases are loaded and the winning run is on third, so Baker has to throw a strike.  How far could A-Rod hit that ball?  700 ft?  800?

- Anybody else watching The Event? I don't think it's terrible just yet, but I do think it's trying awfully hard to be both Lost and 24, even though I never ever watched 24 because it takes more than gun fights and explosions to entertain me. Anyway, it seems ok and any time D.B. Sweeney is involved you know I'm a fan, but this show could take a wrong turn in an awful hurry. I mean, this "plot" is like tightrope thin. Kind of like how the Dark Tower series by Stephen King could be brilliant on TV in the right hands, but would be a laughable train wreck if handled incorrectly. Or like the Game of Thrones series coming up on HBO. Real delicate stuff here. Actually, I'm not really sure why I made that comparison, except that those are two of my favorite book series and one is coming to TV and the other might be soon. Really, so far The Event is weird and doesn't make much sense and I only watched about half of episode two, but it's got this chick in a bikini so I'll keep watching:

-  Speaking of Episode 2, Mrs. W bought WonderbabyTM a Star Wars coloring book today, which she loved, and she likes to watch me play Lego Star Wars, so we watched a half hour of Episode I today (went with that one because it's most kid friendly) and she thought it rocked and didn't want to turn it off.  I'm looking to have her fully nerdifyed by age 4.

-  So who's excited for the Ryder Cup?  I am.  I think the Euro team is far better than the Americans, but we have a few units down on the USA just because, like Billy Mitchell, I'm proud to represent my country, even when I'm not really representing anything and really am more just betting on people who are representing my country.  Like Lex Luger.  Anyway, Sergio sucking too bad all year to not make the team is a huge break for the Americanos, because that dude is a machine at this stuff (career 14-3-3 record).  Nobody on the American team is a good Ryder Cup player, and Mickelson and Furyk are two of the worst, and unfortunately Jeff Overton made the team and then Rickie Fowler got picked for some reason, so really there is no reason to be on the USA except blind faith in good ole apple pie and blue jeans.  And a good underdog payout. 

-  The Rockies are losing again tonight, and most people don't really care, but we have the Rockies at OVER 85.5 wins for the year, and currently they are at 83-73 which means they need to go 3-3 to win the bet, which is starting to look less and less likely due to this incredible un-Rocky-like skid they are in which, if they lose again tonight, will have them at 1-8 in their last 9 games.  Which means that nine games ago they were 82-65 and needed to go just 4-11 to win it for us.  Thanks assholes.  I blame Helton. 

-  Also the Mets just need to lose two more games.  Pray for us.

-  I'm sure there's more, but the baby is waking up and by the time I get done feeding and taking care of him, whatever mojo is driving this post will be long gone.  So I'll just leave you with this:  Dez Bryant is going to destroy the NFL, Randy Moss style.  If not this year, then next. 

Make your time.

16 comments:

rghrbek said...

Www...
Great post. Dayton blows. Blackburn is simply bad. I don't care that he gets hot for a few games, his ERA is still over 5.5 and his ob% against is over .300. If that is not Carlos Silva, then I am not sure what is....

My opinion is Pavano s/b game 1 starter, cause Tardy will never let Frankie pitch on 3 days rest. That way you have Frankie for game 4, on 4 days rest.

Funny you mentioned 2 of my all time favorite series in the Dark Tower, and Game of Thrones series. I agree that these could be great on TV, but also could be terrible. Keep them on pay cable, cause that way if they are bad we could see more tit.

Then after all that you mention episode 1 in the same breath. Brutal.

Go Lynx.

SUPER knocked up Sioux fan said...

You are drinking Jeremiah Weed Sweet Tea Vodka? FAG!!!! I have to drink like the whole bottle of that to even get drunk.

WWWWWW said...

No idiot. Nice job reading. I was drinking vodka mixed with Iced Tea. Very different.

Also, since I know you're nine months pregnant right now, when was the last time you were drunk?

Be honest.

Anonymous said...

That is an alcoholic concoction. In 2 years from now you will be telling us how good Vodka and Mouth wash go together!

Ready to pop Sioux Fan said...

I am not sure if drinking Karkoff vodka and nestea is anything to be bragging about.

It takes me AND Sam a whole bottle to get drunk. My drinking has really gone up since I am drinking for two now. Geez...
What do you think I want this kid to come out some kind of pussy or something. Any future Sioux hockey player can't have too many functioning brain cells.
God, what is wrong with you people?

Ready to pop Sioux Fan said...

I am not sure if drinking Karkoff vodka and nestea is anything to be bragging about.

It takes me AND Sam a whole bottle to get drunk. My drinking has really gone up since I am drinking for two now. Geez...
What do you think I want this kid to come out some kind of pussy or something. Any future Sioux hockey player can't have too many functioning brain cells.
God, what is wrong with you people?

Just saying.. Sioux fan said...

also......

There are worse things than vodka and mouthwash....

Loretta8 said...

put me down as excited for the ryder cup. i would definitely read a ryder cup preview if you posted it.

what's up with Rory McIlroy saying he wants a piece of Tiger? seems idiotic to motivate Tiger for an event he often doesn't put 100% into

Roland said...

That chick looks like lovely Susan in the window!

Kate J said...

This is gonna sound like a great 1st days take on the 2nd day....but, for real, Kila is a monster. And feel free to rip the absolute crap out of me for saying this, but mark my words, IF the Royals don't completely empty their minor league system trading for guys like Jason Kendall (WHAT!?!?!), they will be a contending team in the next 2-3 years. Mike Moustakas, Eric Hosmer, and Michael Montgomery are legitimate prospects. Derrick Robinson has the chance to be an elite top of the order hitter / CF and Aaron Crow will turn out to be a better than average pitcher.

They are getting younger and have the chance at a crazy good starting rotation of Greinke, Hochevar, Bannister, Crow and Montgomery. Not too shabby if you ask me!

So get your Royals bashing in now. Spread it thick and filled with derogatory language and inappropriate sexual euphemisms. Get it all out of your system I say!

I guess what I am saying is, your tweet about Kila being a future all star might not actually be too far off.

God it took a long time for me to get to the point, didn't it?

Sheesh.

WWWWWW said...

Completely agree. They've filled their minor league system with some legit prospects, only based on the free agent signings they made this last offseason it looks like they're front office is less competent than the t-wolves.

WWWWWW said...

Oh, and I'm not going to have time to do a Ryder Cup preview, but with the first set of matchups announced you can expect Europe to be up 3-1 with only the Woods/Stricker team winning for the Americans.

Bobby said...

My boss just walked in and wanted to know why I was standing in my office with my pants down.

Simon said...

Bobby, your pants are down because internet ass is the only type of ass you ever get. ARe you sure your name is Bobby and not the todd?

Rockies wet the bed, again. said...

Best news of it all, Helton tells the Denver Post that he is coming back next year. Sweet christ just quit and be mediocre at something else. At least he is only on the hook for 9.9 mil the next 2 years.

SSF said...

You guys are all giant nerds.