WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Troy Tulowitzki. I think we need a new word for this guy, because hot doesn't begin to do him justice. Remember the other day when I mentioned how he had hit 11 home runs in his last 13 games? And described that as jesus? Well, since then he hit a home run on Friday and followed it up with 2 more on Saturday. You know there's regular (and sugar free) Red Bull, but then they also have the little Red Bull shots that are more concentrated and give you a shorter, stronger burst of probably super healthy energy? I feel like Tulowitzki must be on that version of HGH - not a whole season worth or anything, just enough to hit a ridiculous amount of home runs in a small period of time.* Seriously dude, I am all-in for Rocktoberfest. Assuming the make the playoffs, of course. If not I never liked them anyway.
2. Felix Hernandez. King Felix added a little more fuel to the Cy Young fire, nearly pitching a no-hitter against Texas Friday before allowing a home run to Nelson Cruz in the 8th, ending up with just 8 strong innings and a rare win. Rare enough that a bit of a nerd fight has broken out amongst the stat nerds and the old school traditionalists over who deserves to win the Cy Young award this year. Here are the top 3 candidates:
- C.C. Sabathia: 20-6, 3.05 ERA, 1.18 WHIP, 183 Ks, 224 IPs
- David Price: 17-6, 2.79 ERA, 1.19 WHIP, 172 Ks, 194 IPs
- Felix: 12-11, 2.35 ERA, 1.07 WHIP, 222 Ks, 234 IPs
3. Ryan Mallet. I really like this kid. Of course, that could be because I've only seen two of his game, one from last year when he won me two bets, the over on his completions and his yards, that I placed on a tip from a friend and then this week's game where he threw for 380 yards and 3 TDs, including the game winner (and Arkansas +3 bet winner) with fifteen seconds to go. Plus, he just looks like a big-time QB back there. A pure thrower with a good pocket presence and good fundamentals. And he should, he's got the pedigree: #2 QB and #4 overall player in his high school class by Rivals and Gatorade High School Player of the Year in Texas his senior year. Texas! You've seen Varsity Blues, you know what it's like down there. He's like Lance Harbor, but without the knee injury. He was smart to leave Michigan after Rodriguez signed on since he's no Major Harris, but he does remind me quite a little bit of Peyton Manning now that he's at Arkansas. High praise? Yes. Kind of stupid to say since I've only seen two of his games? Absolutely. Is that going to stop me? Hell no.
4. Jahvid Best. The Lions still suck, but at least they have another exciting young player to add to Calvin Johnson in Best. After a huge day that saw him gain over 230 total yards and score 3 times he now has five TDs through two games to lead the NFL. One of his TDs yesterday was a 75 yard screen pass, a play where he showecased the speed and vision that will make him a top back in the future, and also scored on a 2-yd run showing he has some power to his game as well. The Lions now have the skill positions set, if they can just fix a terrible, terrible defense and shore up an awful, awful offensive line, and then find a second and third receiver, they'll be all set.
5. Matt Schaub. Remember how, not all that long ago, the Atlanta Falcons had this awesome back-up who everybody wanted because everyone knew he was going to be a very good QB, but the Falcons couldn't keep him because the Michael Vick and were all set to go with him for the future and so they traded Schaub to the Texans? Oops. Schaub threw for 497 yards and 3 TDs yesterday, continuing his streak of always throwing for a ridiculous amount of yards in every game ever. Oh, and in case you're curious, which I was, Schaub was traded for two second-round picks and a swap of firsts. The Falcons acquired DE Jamaal Anderson and OG Justin Blaylock, then traded the other second rounder to Washington for something I'm too lazy to look up. Since I've never heard of either of those people, I'm going to say it was a bad trade.
1. Brett Favre. Sorry folks, but it looks to me like the magical ride is over. There's no fairy dust left in that arm. Not only has his lost his biggest strength - his arm - but he looks like the one trait he had that seemed to make him bulletproof, unstable, and impervious to age is gone as well; that stupid cliched love of the game thing. It was annoying to hear about every five minutes, but it kept him going. Now that he looks more like the Brett Favre in his last days as a Packer than the Brett Favre from last year, aging should commence rapidly. Expect him to be out with an injury by week 9, and likely fold up shop for good around week 12 or 13. I'm fully expecting a mid-season retirement, but in any case there's no doubt this isn't a playoff team. Even as good as the defense and AP are, I think even 8 wins would be a miracle. Sorry folks. Time to turn your hopes and dreams to the Gopher basketball team. And, I guess, hockey if you like that kind of garbage. Sicko.
2. Chicago White Sox. Talk about rolling over. I know they needed to sweep the Twins with a small chance at hope if they won at least 2 of three, and I know since they got swept the season is 99% over, but talk about going out with a whimper. First the sweep by the Twins, in which they barely had to break a sweat, and then went ahead and got swept by the Tigers, losing the lead in all three games thanks to that crappy bullpen, including the game last night where they scored 4 in the ninth to send it to extra innings, only to watch Sergio Santos give up the game in the 11th, just one night after he blew the game in the 8th. So to recap, in the biggest spot of the season and needing to make a big run the Sox got swept in back-to-back series at home against their two biggest division rivals. Talk about gutless. Sounds more like a Vikings thing.
3. Jake Locker. Funny story about Locker. I heard something on the radio about him being the likely #1 pick in next year's NFL draft earlier this week, and how he was facing a pretty tough task in Nebraska's defense this weekend and it would be interesting to see how he did. Well, the answer is: shitty. Locker went 4-20 passing on the day, for a grand total of 71 yards as Washington got rolled by the Huskers 56-21. I'm sure he's a good QB and all, but let's just say I'm not super impressed. More like the opposite of that.
4. Joe Flacco. Man this is a QB heavy suck list, but how can I leave off Flacco and his career worst four interceptions? There is no way the Ravens are going to do much with him at QB. He's like a bad version of Trent Dilfer, and he couldn't do a thing against Cincinnati on Sunday - thus the four interceptions. And they were just awful picks, too. If he had been intentionally throwing to the Bengal d-backs he couldn't have made it easier for them. So am I saying Joe Flacco threw the game? Yes.
5. Jason Kubel. Players get hurt, I know, and with the notable exception of Justin Morneau they return and all is fine. Except with Jason Kubel, this week was the semifinals in our fantasy baseball league, and Snake and I had advanced that far and needed to make a decision about our third outfield spot: Jason Kubel or Delmon Young. We went Kubel, in part because he was hotter than Delmon, in part because he was more consistent than Delmon, and in part because the guy we were playing had dropped Kubel earlier so we figured the revenge factor would be strong. Unfortunately, we didn't get to find out about the revenge factor, because the "I'm a little girl and my wrist hurts" factor won out. So yes, both of Delmon's homers this week and his 3-hit game tore my soul open a little bit. The worst part? Delmon outscored Kubel by 19, and we ended up losing by 49. So, um, I guess if we had played Delmon the loss would have been a little bit less embarrassing, and since that's the new standard for success around here, Kubel owes me big-time.
* = since that one insignificant blogger got the shit ripped out of him last year for a throwaway comment about how people should ask about Raul Ibanez being on Roids after his hot start last year, I feel the need to point out that I'm fucking kidding. And if you can't figure that out, you're a jackass. And also you should die.