Twins/Sox - Catch the Rainness

I'm going to attempt to live blog the Twins/Sox game this afternoon here, but I am unsure of how this is going to work out. The baby is sitting happily in her bouncy chair (thank you Uncle & Aunt Bogart) but could snap at any moment so we'll see. Also I'm cooking bacon.

1:03 - Naturally, the game is in a rain delay. Glorious. Instead we are being treated to an episode of Coach. That show sucked.

1:10 - I burned my hand on the bacon

1:29 - When there's a rain delay, don't they usually keep it with the broadcast team and talk about, you know, sports? How am I supposed to comment on how Hayden Fox's mentor betrayed him at the Pineapple Bowl? (He's way too sensitive, by the way). The Bacon's good at least.

1:30 - Bert breaks in to tell us they think the rain will pass in an hour. I'll be back.

2:33 - Looks like we are going to get started, and the Twins send Slowey out there. $20 says he gives up a three run home run within the first two innings.

2:35 - Carlos Gomez never steals anymore. I got to say though, the kid has impressed me. A much better hitter than I thought originally.

2:47 - Holy crap, Delmon hit a homerun last night? No way! And then they show the replay, and it didn't even get to the first row of the stands, just cleared the fence by a matter of millimeters. That guy has less power than your average women's softball player. Word.

3:03 - And there it is, Nick Swisher, three run home run. Totally called it. You owe me $20.

3:13 - Bert let's us know that the Twins are not a homerun hitting club. That is the kind of hard-hitting insight he's famous for. I'd put him in the hall of fame as an announcer before a pitcher - sorry Dawger.

3:14 - Carlos Quentin throws like a girl. And if he ends up leading the AL in homeruns at the end of the season, I'll quite watching baseball 4 eva.

3:23 - Jesus christ, Kevin Slowey is a god awful pitcher. He basically throws BP. I think I could get a hit off of him. In fact, I know it.

3:30 - The Twins' starting pitching difficulties are now Joe Mauer's fault for not calling enough inside pitches, according to Bert. I'm just happy to see somebody actually criticize the baby Jesus.

3:31 - Nick Swisher looks like a pedophile. I find it fascinating that Ozzie Guillen led him off for a good part of the year. Ozzie has been outspoken about "that moneyball shit", yet Swisher is a perfect leadoff hitter using a statistical approach to lineup creation, and horrible in traditional terms. Thus, Ozzie is a hyprocrital ass. Whereas Kevin Slowey is just a gigantic piece of crap.

3:37 - They've now batted around here in the third, but Slowey is still out there tossing up his BP. He's like Jamie Moyer without the ball movement. Gardy is clearly trying to teach him a lesson.

3:46 - Yeah, I'm not doing this anymore. This team is garbage.