DWG College Hoops Preview: Teams #33-26

Pablo Sandoval hits three home runs.  Barry Zito not only is unhittable, but also knocks in a run against probably the best pitcher of this generation.  Angel Pagan gets a double by hitting a routine bouncer that hits the third base bag.  Tim Lincecum strikes everyone out in a season where he's basically been a pitching machine.  Gregor Blanco can suddenly get to everything.  Call me crazy, but are you getting a vibe that the Giants stole that Cardinal October magic?  Good thing I got in on the Giants to win at +160 already.  I know I said I was going to be rooting for the Tigers and thought they were the better team, but so much money poured in on Detroit that the +160 for the Giants was too juicy to pass up.  Obviously.  Any way, I wrote some more previews while watching the game. 

33. Kansas State Wildcats.  You know, K-State has a pretty good thing going lately and have morphed into one of the most consistently athletic teams in the country year-after-year, and that's not going to change this season.  The Wildcats have most of last year's team back, including eight of their top nine scorers from last season, which means they'll most likely still be a god awful jump-shooting team (unless someone or someones went Eric Harris on it this offseason) but that's ok because they should make up for it, again, by being phenomenal at attacking the basket and grabbing a high percentage of all those bricks they throw up there.   Of course, they just hired Bruce Weber and since we all know a coaching match-up between Weber and paper bag would be a toss-up we can probably expect this nice little run by K-State to fall by the wayside as they descend into mediocrity once again and Weber moves on to destroy yet another program.

32.  St. Mary's Gaels.  I know what you're worrying about, and yes don't worry floppy haired uber Beiber dork Matthew Dellavedova is back for one more year.  And someone tell me if I'm totally crazy, but I'm getting a distinct Steve Nash vibe from this kid.  Think about it.  Floppy hair.  From a foreign country that speaks a weird brand of English.  Under the radar recruit who lands at a WCC school.  Immediate impact as a freshman, then end up getting progressively better, developing into one of the best PGs in the land, and single-handedly leading their team to upsets against bigger (and better) teams.  I really think we're in for a monster year from both Dellavedova and St. Mary's, if only to validate my Nash theory.  But if St. Mary's ends up making the Sweet 16 this year I'd start finding ways to bet YES on things like "Someday Matthew Dellavedova will win two NBA MVP awards."

31.  St. Louis Billikens.  St. Louis has been on a slow build since they hired Rick Majerus, so it'll be interesting to see if is absence (taking a year off for some kind of medical leave) hurts them, because this team has a chance to be very good this year.  It's actually kind of a an interesting case because they only lose one dude from last year's team, but it's the dude that was kind of their leader who did everything (1st in points, 2nd in rebs, 5th in assists, 4th in steals, 1st in FG%, 1st in FT%).  Talent-wise they're pretty loaded, but losing the head coach, the team leader, and now their best returning player, Kwamain Mitchell, is out for six weeks with a broken foot.  I don't know, that seems like a lot to deal with for a team who is supposed to be in good shape for this season.  Kind of makes me think of the Cincinnati Bengals for some reason.

30.  BYU Cougars.  It's always interesting how the Mormon faith impacts college hoops.  There's the scheduling, because BYU can't/won't play on Sundays which impacts the NCAA Tournament.  Brandon Davies got suspended for the season two years ago because he had sex and then admitted it to his coach.  And there's always the random Mormon mission that takes a player off the team mid-way through his career.  This time, however, BYU is actually getting a big boost, because Tyler Haws back.  Two seasons ago Haws averaged 11 points and 4 rebounds per game as a freshman and still has a 48-straight made free throw streak.  Getting a guy back who has already proven he can play is golden, and add Haws to a mix that includes the 6-11 Davies (15 & 8 last year) and point guard Matt Carlino (12 & 5) and BYU won't even miss the loss of a couple of seniors and should have no problem grabbing an NCAA bid.  Assuming everybody keeps their pants on, or at least has the common sense to not go running to their bishop about it.

29.  Drexel Dragons.  You know what's a really sweet team name?  Dragons.  Awesome.  Anyway, the Dragons, who are routinely one of the best defensive squads in the country, are set up for success this year.  The only lose one major contributor off last season's team that set a school record for victories, and with VCU now in the A-10 and Old Dominion ineligible for the conference title since they're bolting to C-USA after this season it's wide open for Drexel to take the league crown.  As I mentioned Drexel is always nails defensively, but last year's edition could actually score some points as well and a Dragon team that can score is pretty scary for somebody in round 1 of the tournament.  Like, scary like that Tiamat five-headed dragon from the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon.  Yes I watched it as a kid and it was awesome.  I also own a DVD with 10 episodes on it, what of it?  No you're the nerd.

28.  Wisconsin Badgers.  Ok, I've learned my lesson.  I don't know if it's my hatred of the Badgers because they're evil (I mean they even wear red, pay attention) or just because they're so boring, but every year I think the Badgers will be horrible and every year I'm wrong.  Look at this season - Jordan Taylor is gone and there isn't a player on the roster who looks like they can replace his production, even by committee.  Jared Berggren and Ryan Evans are the two best players coming back, and Evans should be a six man and Berggren is terrible.  Their top guards are going to be Ben Brust and Josh Gasser and neither of them scares anybody.  But of course, none of that matters.  They're going to play so slow it puts everyone to sleep, bore everyone to death, never turn the ball over, grab all the available rebounds, and win way more games than I'd ever expect.  Just like every year.  It's like an evil version of college basketball Groundhog Day.

27.  Marquette Golden Eagles.  At first when I was ranking teams off the top of my head I think I had Marquette in the 40s or 50s simply because losing both Jae Crowder and Darius Johnson-Odom to the NBA is a crusher, but when I did more reading I realized there is plenty still here to work with (plus counting out Buzz Williams is like counting on Bruce Weber).  Their back court is loaded with Junior Cadougan and Vander Blue, who is one of my favorite players because he has a sweet name, a sweet game, and he pissed on Wisconsin, and their returning leading scorer is a big man so they'll have a nice balance.  The back court should be their strength, but that doesn't mean their shooting - the three returning guards shot combined 48-162 from 3 last year and that will probably hold them back from being a truly dangerous team.  Still better than Wisconsin though.

26.  Ohio Bobcats.  You only need to know one thing - yes, D.J. Cooper is back.  You remember Cooper, right?  He's the guy who pretty much beat Georgetown two years ago and Michigan last year in the NCAA Tournament.  And he was pretty good against South Florida too, helping Ohio to the Sweet 16.  Yes, he's back and now a senior.  As is last year's second leading scorer Walter Offutt.  And #3 Reggie Keely.  #4 Nick Kellog is back too, but he's only a junior.  #5 Ivo Baltic is a senior though.  You see where I'm going with this?  The Bobcats have their top nine players back and all but one is a senior or junior.  The have top end talent in Cooper and Offutt.  And they must have a pretty good chemistry together because even though their coach left to take the Illinois job nobody transferred out.  This could be a very special year, which feels weird to say about a MAC team. Plus DJ Cooper makes me think of D.B. Cooper and that's awesome.   Of course since they are a MAC team, it's pretty likely if they don't win their conference tournament they don't go dancing at all.  Which would suck like Nick Blackburn.  Or Justin Verlander, I suppose.


Previous:
Teams #68-60
Teams #59-53
Teams #52-47 
Teams #46-39 
Teams #38-34

DWG NCAA Basketball Preview: Teams #38-34

Way to go, Kyle Lohse.  You might as well just come to my house and steal my money.  And it's not just Lohse, it's everybody - not only the Cardinals but the entire National League.  The Giants suck.  I'm sorry, it's just a fact, but everyone seems to just lay down and die.  The Cards, a normally excellent fielding team, have given more free runs away this series than they've scored and suddenly the Cards can't hit Barry Zito?  I can't believe I'm going to have to be a Tiger fan for the Series.  Gross.  But I sure as shit can't root for the Giants.  I feel sick.  Whatever.  Let's look at some chicks and talk some roundball.

38.  Texas Longhorns.  Similar to last year's team, this Texas squad will be deep and talented in the back court with major question marks in the front court.  Dissimilar to last year's team, they won't have last year's leading scorer in the Big 12 (at 20.1ppg) J'Covan Brown, who left the team to enter the NBA draft and then didn't get drafted like a genius.  Stupid name guy Myck Kabongo will be the key as the team's point guard and best player, but his status is currently in limbo due to some agent related nonsense.  Although the agent is the same guy who represents Tristan Thompson and Cory Joseph and Kabongo is also part of that bizarre Canada/Texas pipeline, so I'm pretty sure he's definitely guilty of whatever.  I believe suspension is the only answer.  

37.  Miami Hurricanes.  It's very possible I'm overrating the Canes since my ranking for them (particularly ahead of FSU) doesn't seem to jibe with most others I've seen, but I like a lot about this team.  Reggie Johnson and Kenny Kadji are both double-double threats at all times and averaged 22 points and 13 rebounds per game between them.  Johnson is 6-10, 292 lbs.  Kadji is 6-11, 242 lbs.  They're both seniors so they aren't about to fuck around this season.  They do lose two of last year's three starting guards, but they get by far the best one back in Durand Scott, and Shane Larkin (yes, Barry's kid) is going to be in his second year and can give the Canes a real live point guard for the first time in a while.  He was one of the best point guard prospects a year ago and had a decent freshman year, but it's time for him to step up to the plate and go yard from the duguot with a rosin bag before the Hurricanes boot one and strike out in the bottom of the ninth with the bases loaded.

36.  Valparaiso Crusaders.  Valpo won the Horizon regular season title last year before getting crushed by Detroit in the Horizon Tournament Final, but with their top two players and lots of seniors back they are the favorite to take the conference again, and hopefully (for them) not flame out again.  And if they make the tournament you'll hear way too much about them because, admittedly, they're kind of an interesting team.  The coach is Bryce Drew who hit the second greatest shot in NCAA Tournament history (behind that dude from Northwestern State who hit the shot to knock out Iowa because fuck Iowa).  Their best player (and last season's conference player of the year) was a finalist to make the Australian Olympic team.  Their second best player has played internationally for both the Canary Islands and the Netherlands.   They have a dude from Jamaica.  They have guys who transferred from Virginia Tech, Ole Miss, Indiana, Hawaii, Cal, South Florida, and Rice.  Seriously it's ridiculous.  I haven't seen this many transfers since Tark's days at Fresno.  Plus they have a guy with the last name Buggs, and since we all know Charles Buggs is going to be a superstar I can only assume the same for a guy who I assume is related.

35.  Oklahoma State Cowboys. The Cowboys season will basically come down to what kind of changes LeBryan Nash made this offseason.  Nash was the team's best player last season, should be again this year, and is probably the best player to suit up for OSU since JamesOn Curry.  The bad news, however, is that he shot an appalling 39% including just 24% from three despite jacking up the second most shots on the squad (behind the departed bomber Keiton Page).  He balanced out his poor shooting and shot selection by averaging just 1.5 assists per game and getting almost no steals.  He's insanely talented and if he can play smarter and maybe hit a jumper here and there these guys should be in line for an NCAA bid.  And hey, if everything works out he can become the next JamesOn Curry and enter the NBA draft after his junior year and then fail to get drafted in the first round.  It's good to have dreams.

 34.  Stanford Cardinal.  Yes, the dreaded Cardinal.  Enders of the Gophers season and world champions of the NIT.  And, as we all know, winning the NIT is a strong predictor of future success the following season.  I'm just kidding of course, it means exactly jack shit.  More than anything it's just says you were a crappy team that couldn't be bothered to get into the NCAA Tournament, and barring a stellar recruiting class coming in you're probably still terrible.  And they are.  They have a good back court in Chasson Randle and Aaron Bright and some decently experienced guys, but nothing really special.  Which is why they're ranked 34th and are incredibly boring.  Or maybe they're ranked 34th because they're boring?  I don't know.  I'm tired and hate Kyle Lohse.

Now that I think about it, Detroit gets to set their rotation with Verlander first and I assume Scherzer second and will have the option to go with JV three times.  The Giants will have to go with Lincecum and Zito to start it off and will only get to throw Cain once.  I'm thinking we make some money on the Tigers.  We goin' Sizzla.


Previous:
Teams #68-60
Teams #59-53
Teams #52-47 
Teams #46-39

DWG College Basketball Preview: Teams #46-39

Man weather is such a dick.  The Cards/Giants are still sitting there, like 3 hours after their delay started, waiting to resume play in the 8th and the Yanks/Tigers has been postponed now until tomorrow.  Sucks.  So here's something else that's a thing you could do:

46.  Detroit Titans.  Ray McCallum is still there.  Three years ago two big-time recruits signed with smaller schools to play for their dads.  One (Trey Ziegler at CMU) saw his father fired after two dismal seasons and bolted to Pitt, the other is McCallum and after advancing to the NCAA Tournament by winning the Horizon tournament last year the Titans are looking to do even more.  There are some notable losses, particularly size-wise in Eli Holman, but there are a couple of senior forwards capable of putting up good numbers who should help balance things with McCallum.  Plus they got Juwon Howard, Jr. this year.  Juwon Howard Junior!  Hell yeah!

45.  Tennessee Volunteers.  Bruce Pearl left Tennessee looking like a mess, but behind some solid leadership from Cuonzo Martin (CUONZO!) they actually had a pretty solid year last season (NIT berth) and now return almost the entire team for another go at it.  And guys, their PF Jeronne Maymon is just a monster, and out of nowhere, too.  He was nothing, and then he just exploded into a guy who had double figure points or rebounds (or both) in the Vols last 15 games last year and put up double doubles against three of the teams toughest opponents last season (Kentucky, Memphis, and Duke) including a 32 point, 20 rebound performance against Memphis.  He's very Mbakwellian on the glass, just attacking every rebound as if his very life, nay, the fate of the planet, rested on him getting that ball.  Tennessee was always able to recruit under Pearl but he was such as shitty coach they were chronically underachieved.  Martin is a far better coach, and if he continues to get the same caliber of players to come to Tennessee this team is going to be a major player going forward. 

44.  UCONN Huskies.  UCONN can't play in the postseason this year because of I don't know grades or some dumb arbitrary NCAA rule that punishes players who had nothing to do with the infraction, and as a result of that had to watch Alex Oriakhi and Roscoe Smith bolt to Missouri and UNLV respectively (along with Andre Drummond and Jeremy Lamb to the NBA) and will be going with a new coach in Kevin Ollie, but there's still plenty of talent here to screw over at least a Big East team or two's at-large hopes with some big wins.  That is, of course, if DeAndre Daniels can become what he was supposed to become.  Daniels was a top-10 recruit last season who chose UCONN over Kentucky, Florida, Duke, and Kansas but ended up buried on the bench much of last season.  If he can blossom with a bigger role and mesh with outstanding guard tandem Ryan Boatright and Shabazz Napier the Huskies could be awfully good.  Of course without cheater Calhoun who knows how this all shakes out.  They could win four games and I wouldn't be surprised.

43.  Davidson Wildcats.  Davidson is a little bit annoying to me in their consistency, but here they are, back again, heavy favorites to win the SoCon and just good enough to scare or beat a team or two once they inevitably get to the NCAA Tournament as an 11 seed.  Pretty much the entire team returns from last season when they put a scare in Louisville in the first round of the NCAA Tournament, but what's interesting about this iteration of the Wildcats is rather than being overly dependent on guards and 3-pointers, their two best players are a pair of forwards (including the SoCon Player of the Year and the other guy might actually be better) who can hit it, but don't need to.  They leave that to the 200 guards Davidson has running around.  Again.

42.  Harvard Crimson.  Well Tommy Amaker's got a nice little thing going here.  In 2010 they made the CIT.  In 2011, the NIT after tying for the Ivy League crown and losing in a one game playoff.  Then last year they won the Ivy to make the NCAA Tournament, losing to fifth-seeded Vanderbilt by nine (yes, I picked Harvard).  They do lose last year's Ivy League Player of the Year, but have everybody else back and Nevermind somehow I missed that Harvard has a bunch of guys embroiled in an academic scandal including their best player and both co-captains who are no longer on the team so drop these guys off the list, bump everyone up one, and throw Northwestern at the end or something.  Gotta have some nerds, somehow.

41.  Florida State Seminoles.  Maybe I'm way off on FSU because they are 24th in the first Coaches' Poll that just came out, but I'm not seeing it.  Losing four starters including your entire inside presence in Bernard James and Xavier Gibson is, like sticking a paperclip into a power outlet, no picnic.  Yeah, they still have Michael Snaer and you know they'll be tenacious on defense and won't back down, but you know who else is tenacious and never backs down?  My two-year old, and by the end of most days he's either run into a wall face first or fallen off some random piece of furniture and landed on his head.  Every once in a while, however, he'll get a big win by throwing a matchbox car and hitting Mrs. W right in the face. 

40.  Murray State Racers.  Things could be a bit tougher for the Racers this year, what with losing three starters and having to deal with Belmont's move to the OVC, but Murray State has developed a "Gonzaga-lite" reputation for a reason.  They have a whole bunch of experienced seniors and generally play a deep bench so even if these guys don't have impressive stats you can bet they can play, and Murray State keeps bringing in solid recruiting classes to keep that pipeline going as well.  Not to mention they still have Isaiah Canaan who led them to the tournament last year, winning the OVC Player of the Year Award, and then promptly sucked (8-30 in two NCAA Tourney games).  Now a senior, Canaan should be able to do more assuming they get to that point again, because everyone knows that noted chokers always get better over time, right A-Rod?

39.  St. Joe's Hawks.  I actually feel like I might be underrating these guys a bit, because this team kind of has that feeling of building something that might be cresting this season.  Last season the Hawks won 20 games (9 in A-10 play) and snagged an NIT berth, not bad considering the two previous years they won 22 games combined.  Carl Jones, C.J. Aiken, and Langston Galloway (who you remember from such games as against the Gophers two straight years) are now in their third year playing together with Aiken growing into a force in the paint, Galloway developing into a dead-eye shooter from the wing, and Jones, well, he's pretty much the same chucker he's always been since he arrived in Philly and maybe these guys will be even better when he's gone next season (the other two are juniors) but whatever.  St. Joe's' has been crappy since Jameer Nelson and Delonte West left and now they have hope.  Can't you just let them have hope with their cheesesteaks?


Previous:
Teams #68-60
Teams #59-53
Teams #52-47

DWG's NCAA Basketball Preview: Teams #52-47

I know plenty of people are busy tonight with the debate and the Tigers/Yankees game, but I can only watch the debates 30 seconds at a time without falling asleep or dying of self-inflicted gangrene and it seems silly to write about the Tigers/Yankees game because I don't really feel like writing "Verlander gets another stupid Yankee out easily" twenty-seven times.  Thus insteadly here are some NCAA Basketball previews.  I hope you enjoy them.

I'm just kidding.  I really don't give a crap.  I know you're reading this at work and have nothing better to do with your time anyway.

52.  Illinois State Redbirds.  Creighton, Wichita State, and Northern Iowa seem to get most of the Missouri Valley headlines and hype, but this could end up being Illinois State's big year.  Last year's team took Creighton down to the wire in the MVC Championship before losing in overtime, then beat Ole Miss in the NIT before falling to eventual champ Stanford (also in OT).  That same team returns pretty much intact (including stud Jackie Carmichael who, according to anything you read on ISU on the internet "wowed" people at the LeBron Skills Academy).  They do lose their starting point guard from last season who transferred to SMU to tag along with the Redbirds' coach last year, and nobody's sure if they have a player who can fill that role capably, but who cares?  Their nickname is the Redbirds for christ's sake, and if the baseball playoffs have taught us anything (other than the Yankees suck) it's that Redbirds never die.

51.  Marshall Thundering Herd.  Marshall hasn't been to the NCAA Tournament since 1987 and has never won a game, but they've been awfully close lately which seems interesting or something I guess.  Last year they were in the hunt until a killer loss to a terrible ECU team knocked them out of the at-large running and then they were crushed in the C-USA Tournament Championship game by Memphis.  Two years prior they came out of the blocks at 15-2 before sucking the rest of the year.  Will this be the year they finally break through?  No.

50.  Belmont Bruins.  Belmont takes a big step up in the world this year, shifting from the Atlantic Sun to the Ohio Valley which means capturing an at-large bid goes from impossible to simply unlikely.  And once again, this will be the same kind of hyper-efficient team that takes care of the basketball and shoots well, but likely lacks the athleticism to truly compete with the big-time programs and really good teams.  And once again they'll probably end up in the NCAA Tournament matched up against somebody better, and everyone (myself included) will talk themselves into how Belmont could be a sweet 16 sleeper and end up picking them to beat a #4 seed in round one only to watch in horror as they get blown out by 20 and a have to put a big red X on my bracket before the first games of day 1 are out.  Looking forward to it already.

49.  Arkansas Razorbacks.  What's the best way to rebound from John Pelphrey trying to run the program straight into the ground?  Hire the sweet Mike Anderson, Nolan Richardson's protege, and let the Hogs run wild.  It didn't quite kick in for year 1, but based on his track record at UAB and Missouri I'd imagine we'll see Arkansas back in the tournament in a year or two.  Guard play is the key to running Anderson's system and Arkansas is plenty loaded here.  B.J. Young, who flirted a bit with the Gophers (while, they more threw themselves at him and he didn't say no right away - like your sister at a kegger) had a monster freshman year and probably could have gone pro but stayed on for another year, and he's got plenty of other perimeter help.  You know fun Missouri was to watch the last several years?  Yeah, that's coming to Fayetteville.  I wish I could bet on things like, Arkansas will be ranked in the top 10 at some point in the next 3 years.  I'd totally win a bunch of money.  Just like how Snacks will owe me fifty bucks when the Royals win the AL Central sometime by 2014 (a bet we made 2 years ago).  Yeah.  It's coming.  I've already spent that money investing in pumpkins.  They've been going up the month of October.  I figure if I hold those babies until January and then cash out.  BAM!  BOATLOADS!

48.  Colorado State Rams.  I don't think anyone would dispute that losing Tim Miles (to Nebraska) is a blow considering how he builds programs, but if you're going to lose a guy like that (and it was inevitable) you could do a whole lot worse than hiring Larry Eustachy.  I know it's easy to think about the scandal where he was busted partying with young college chicks but let's be honest who wouldn't want to do that, but don't forget the guy is a damn good coach.  This is the same guy who just took a garbage program in Southern Miss to the NCAA Tournament last year and had lots of success at Iowa State, and he's also the guy who started Utah State's run of brilliance back in 1998 (hadn't been to the tournament in 10 years).  And now he inherits a team that made the tournament last season and he gets most of the team back, plus Colton Iverson.  Eustachy and Iverson!  Count me in.  That's like a modern day Balki and Cousin Larry.

47.  Cal Bears.  These guys could end up with one of the best backcourts in the Pac-12 and, sad and horrifying as it is, part of the reason is Justin Cobbs.  Freed from the restraints of Tubby's molasses style offense Cobbs ended up averaging 12.6 points (16th in the conference) and 5.0 assists (2nd) per game last season, and he's probably not even the teams best guard - that would be Allen Crabbe.  They have to figure out how to replace two big losses including their lead point guard and their best post player, but having two good guards and playing in the shitbox Pac-12 pretty much assures Cal will at least be in the running for an NCAA bid.  Mother-effing Cobbs.


Previous:
Teams #68-60
Teams #59-53

These MLB Playoffs are Pretty Neat, Guys (+ new Gopher BBall Commit)

Taking a break from the NCAA Hoops Previews to weight on on the baseball playoffs, an awesome collection of series so far.  I'm enjoying the hell out of this, and it helps that I have a ton of money down on futures (Tigers to win AL, Cards to win both NL and World Series not to mention loads of props on every game).  Seriously, it would be great if there was some kind of player rewards card for people who make way too many bets.

Speaking of, check out this information for more on players reward card.  Before I talk hardball, however, I would be remiss if I didn't at least mention that the Gopher hoops team picked up another recruit for 2013 in power forward Alex Foster, joining Alvin Ellis as a future Gopher.  Foster is a 6-8 skinny kid from Chicago who was thought of as one of the best players in Chicago way back when he was in 8th grade, but who has since tailed off a bit and is ranked by ESPN as a middle-of-the-road 3-star recruit (his other offers were from Tennessee and Nebraska, again according to ESPN).  The good news here is that he is super athletic, and with that pedigree (yes back to 8th grade but still) offers considerable upside.  Like Ellis he has been a target of the Gophers for quite some time, which means that even if Tubby isn't signing the greatest players he is at least able to get the guys he really wants to sign here.  Good, not great, signing, but at least things are moving in the right direction again, not to mention setting up a regular pipeline to Chicago (Ellis is also a Chicago kid) can only be a positive.

Also, quick, the reports on my new favorite Gopher Charles Buggs are in from the "Midnight" Madness scrimmage last Friday and by all accounts HE.  IS.  AWESOME.  Led all scorers with 10 pts on 4-4 shooting including 2-2 from 3 and grabbed 2 rebounds, plus was apparently one of the more impressive dunkers in the dunk contest?  Are you kidding me?  He's everything I always knew I always wanted.  I seriously can't wait.  We goin' Sizzla.  

Ok, now on to baseball and I'll start with the Wild Card.  From day one I was in favor of the change to two wild card teams per league with a 1-game playoff and I'm pretty sure I'm right.  I understand the criticisms many people had such as complaining that they were just trying to manufacture drama, that anything random can happen in a 1-game series so it was meaningless, and so on.  But the fact is, winning the Wild Card the last few years was basically the same as winning your division.  Other than not having home field advantage (and one division winner wouldn't have it anyway) and playing the best team (if that team happened to not be from your division) what was the difference?  Basically nil.  Now?  Winning the Wild Card puts you at a drastic disadvantage compared to a division winner because if you get hit with a bad call (Atlanta) or run into a hot pitcher (Texas) you're done.  I think it's awesome and if you don't I hope you get a stomach parasite.

The sucky thing about the Division Series is we lost all the interesting teams.  Only Oakland, Baltimore, Cincy, and Washington haven't been regular playoff fixtures in recent times, and all four lost.  I was glad, actually, to see Washington get bounced just because their decision to shut down Strasburg irked me so irksomely, but I would have loved to see Baltimore, Cincinnati, and/or Oakland advance just because it's more interesting than watching New York and Detroit again.  That being said, how great was it that every single series went the full five games?  And it wasn't just that they went down to sudden death, but how it all happened.  If even one of these scenarios happened this would have been an awesome round of the playoffs:

• St. Louis falls behind 6-0 in the third inning of Game 5 and are down to their final strike twice before rallying for four in the ninth to win their sixth straight elimination game.
• The underdog Orioles refuse to die and push the hated Yankees to the final game with two games going extra innings (back-to-back 12 and 13 inning affairs) and three total one-run games.
• Oakland scares the crap out of Detroit by winning games 3 & 4 after having been down 2-0, leading to Justin Verlander throwing one of the best games in playoff history (in Oakland no less) to advance the Tigers.
• The Giants lose the first two games at home, then win the next three in Cincinnati to knock out the Reds.

So yeah, it sucks that none of interesting teams are still left, but there's still plenty of interesting things going on here in the LCS's, including the incredibly enjoyable collapse of the Yankees.   Granderson and A-Rod are striking out at a World Record pace, but even they aren't hurting the team as much as Robinson Cano (who not only hasn't hit but also made a game killing error (I know it wasn't technically an error because you can't assume a double play but that was an error)) and Nick Swisher (who has been so awful both at the plate and in the field that he's definitely played his way out of New York and may have cut his contract in half both in terms of money and duration).  This has been great in so many ways, and I'm so glad the Yankees hit like crap in the Orioles series as well as this one, because otherwise this would be so set-up to add to the legend of Jeter.  This would all be blamed on them not having "The Captain" and everyone would be in boner mode.

Now I can see this series going one of two ways.  The best way would be that Justin Verlander completely shuts them in game 3 in near no-hitter fashion, they continue to desperately scramble at the plate and resort to crazy tactics (such as hit-and-running with Raul Ibanez and his Matthew LeCroy like speed) to try to score any runs at all and they end up getting swept while the world rejoices.  Or, because the Yankees are some evil demon and everyone knows that demons are notoriously hard to kill, they will somehow manage to destroy Verlander and end up winning this series in 7 games.  I know that would suck, but in another way it would be good to get to root against the Yankees for another series.  I'm still rooting for them to get swept here though, because they are dicks.

As for the NL, how freaking sweet must it be to be a Cards fan?  All they ever do is win.  In 2006 they won just 83 games but played in a crappy division so they won a playoff berth where they managed to beat two superior teams, setting up a World Series against the massively favored Detroit Tigers.  Naturally the Cards won by somehow getting the Tigers to make 8 errors in 5 games and holding them to a .199 batting average despite pitching dudes like Anthony Reyes, making them the worst team (record-wise) to ever win a World Series.  In 2011 they again made the series against the Rangers after qualifying for the Wild Card on the final day of the regular season and fell behind 3-2 and were twice down to their final strike before rallying to win and then won game 7 to take another World Series.  Now they were basically about to be eliminated by the Nationals but somehow turned it around to win that one as well.

I mean, enough is enough, right?  Stop rubbing it in, guys.  They're like the anti-Twins with their postseason play, not to mention that they lost the best hitter of the last 10 years to free agency, lost their starting first baseman (Lance Berkman) and starting shortstop (Rafael Furcal) to injury, and got just 20 starts from Jaime Garcia and 3 from Chris Carpenter, yet here they are.  I like the Giants and all, even without the usual Lincecum, but how can anybody fight that Redbird mojo?  It's a true law of nature like water or dinosaurs.  Sorry Giants, but you can't fight against dinosaurs.

Gophers vs. Northwestern Wildcats Preview

Season Record 4-1

How great are pull tabs?  Did you know the rest of the nation basically has no idea what they are?  The beauty of the pull tab is in the long run, like most gambling endeavors, you lose.  However, since you're likely getting pissed at the bar, you don't notice another $20 here or there.  But the wins...oh the sweet, sweet wins.  You remember the wins.  You take cell phone pics of the winning pull tabs (or at least I do). You send them to your friends exalting yourself as the greatest gambler the world has ever known.  You do shots in celebration and end up taking a cab home that probably costs more than your net winnings.  It's wonderful.

MarQueis Gray is not on the injury report!  Tommy Olson is not on the injury report!  In fact, the team pretty much took full advantage of the off week to get healthy.  Genius move, really, and boy do we need these guys all back because Iowa was a disaster.  I've blacked most of it out by now, but I have a fuzzy memory of a lot of giant Tecmo Bowl type scoring plays for the bad guys.  The defense especially needs to be on point for this one as they were exposed last week and NW can put up some points.

Hate you, nerds.

It's homecoming against the hated B1G geniuses, Northwestern.  Also, a battle of the only two one-loss teams in the Legends division.  The Wildcats have in a bunch of shootouts this year, dropping their first game of the year last week to Penn State.  This is a big test for the rush defense as NW is 16th in the nation at 231.8 yards per game.  They've gone to sophomore Trevor Siemian at QB and moved Kain Colter to WR, wildcat guy.  Between Junior Venric Mark and Colter they have over 1000 rushing yards and 13 TDs.  Woah. 

As far as I can tell, the only worthwhile products from Northwestern are Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, Charlton Heston and Stephen Colbert.  Everything else they do is terrible and diseased. Rod Blagojevich, Mike Greenberg and Warren Beatty lead the list of evil. 

NW Grad

Blog Mockery

It's possible that NW has football blogs out there for me to take silly comments and mock them, but I didn't bother to look.  Instead, I give you this:

How long did you make it?  If you lasted more than 2 minutes, go ahead and punch yourself in the face and never return here again.  We can't lose to these guys, can we? 

Prediction:

It's homecoming and the last home game featured an atmosphere that finally approached big-time-college-football-home-field-advantage-type-shit. So, I expect our students to be there and be loud once again.  The Gophers will need all the help they can get because Northwestern is the real deal.  Honestly, Northwestern probably wins this game.  However, just like the beloved pull tab, the Gophers can lose and I'll forget and look forward to the next big win.  On the other hand, this could be that win.  If they do win, I'll send you a picture of the scoreboard and I'll probably need a cab to take me home.  Northwestern 34, Gophers 24

Other Notes:

-The Tao of Shede for this week: "Spandex pants are not for everyone, thank you."

-Bonus Tao since we missed last week: "You wanna quit, that's fine. More food for me. Feast without you and then brag about my success."

-Favorite names on Northwestern's roster: Pierre Youngblood-Ary - WR, Chi Chi Ariguzo - LB (he's actually pretty good)

-Rapper Twista needs a ghost writer.  He puts out so much bad stuff, but he raps so fast!  I think I could do this.  Hit me up, Twista.

-Protect the dusky gopher frog: http://www.sacbee.com/2012/10/02/4873109/gopher-frog-habitat-designation.html

NCAA Hoops Preview: Teams 59-53

I could sit here and write up some thoughts on the baseball playoffs, but I'm going to save all that jazz for one big post maybe later this week.  Instead, here are some more NCAAB Previews, teams #59-#53.

 59.  NEW MEXICO LOBOS.  Losing double-double machine Drew Gordon is going to be tough to handle, but the Lobos get their entire back court back from last season's NCAA team and Alford has turned these guys into kind of a MWC dynasty - or at least in the mix at the top every year.  This season will depend largely on just how good Kendall Williams can be.  He's had two very good years so far in Albuquerque, and if he can take the next step and become one of the best players in the league they should be back in the running for a league title and/or an at-large bid.  Plus Williams is from Ranco Cucamonga and if you don't think that's a fun city name to say then you're probably already dead.

58.  GEORGETOWN HOYAS.  G-Town loses a ton of talent in three departing starters (their three top scorers last year), including Henry Sims who took over for Greg Monroe as the big man with guard skills.  Luckily they've got a heck of a player back in Otto Porter who had a stellar freshman year and now becomes the Hoyas alpha dog.  He doesn't have the ball-handling or outside touch that Sims and Monroe displayed, but he is already an excellent passer and smart player with the ball so he could easily develop into that same mold.  In the last two seasons the Hoyas have lost all of their big 3 guards and their two best post players so they're going to be looking for somebody to become a true playmaker.  If you play fantasy college basketball (TREVOR DON'T READ THIS) look at Markel Starks as a sleeper.  He's shown he can be an explosive scorer at times and this season he'll be their #1 perimeter option.

57.  LEHIGH MOUNTAIN HAWKS.  Naturally everyone loved Lehigh beating Duke because Duke is satan and hitler all in one, but Lehigh has the look of a team that isn't done quite yet.  They have four of their starters back from last year (their four top scorers) including last year's Patriot League player of the year and hero to all C.J. McCollum (30 pts vs. Duke) as well as Gabe Knutson (17 & 8 vs. Duke).  Can a team from the Patriot get an at-large bid?  It would be incredibly difficult and I don't think it's ever happened, but maybe this is the year.  Although the league RPI will be way down and thus drag Lehigh's down, they will have some chances to pick-up big wins they'll need to have a chance.  They open at Baylor, then if they can get past Robert Morris in the Preseason NIT (no sure thing) they would get Pitt and a win their would send them to Madison Square Garden for two more cracks at big-time schools (Michigan, Kansas State, Virginia).  They also play North Texas and Quinnipiac who could both end up as RPI Top 100 schools, as could conference foe Bucknell.  Win enough of those games and then lose only 1-2 in conference/conf. tournament play?  Probably better to win the conference tournament, but watch that Lehigh/Pitt game, could be huge for the little guys.

56.  PITT PANTHERS.  Hey, speaking of Pitt, here they are.  And if you're sick of the Gophers having a terrible non-conference schedule you should get a look at Pitt's.  If they don't get to Madison Square Garden that is absolutely brutally bad other than Detroit.  I suppose they'll play plenty of good teams in conference play, but man having Bethune-Cookman, Delaware State, and Kennesaw State all on the same schedule should be outlawed.  Also it seems Travon Woodall now goes by Tray, which is not as irritating as Terrell Holloway going by Tu, Michael Gilchrist or Maurice Drew adding an extra hyphenated last name, or especially Titus Young adding SR. to the back of his jersey after having a son named Titus, but it's still irritating and I hope Pitt loses every game.  I never liked them anyway.  Brandin Knight sucked and Carl Krauser was even worse.  [NOTE:  Somehow I completely missed that Trey Ziegler transferred here from CMU and is eligible this year, so bump them up a few spots.]

55.  MARYLAND TERRAPINS.  Maryland loses leading scorer Terrell Stoglin to, well, not the NBA since he didn't get drafted but to somewhere, but this might be one of those addition by subtraction kind of situations which yes is possible just look here smart guy:  (-2)-(-4) = 2 IN YOUR FACE.  But what that means for the Terps is that a bunch of guys who are used to standing around watching Stoglin jack shots (38% of shots taken by Maryland last year with him on the floor were his, 3rd highest in the NCAA) are suddenly going to have freedom to play ball and will be like a bunch of college freshman living away from their parents for the first time and will probably go a little nuts.  Of course, they're also pretty unproven due to never getting the ball, so Maryland should be a mixed bag this year.  Like your mom.

 54.  UTEP MINERS.  I know what you're thinking, and to be honest I'm not really sure why I have UTEP this high either, but I liked watching this team (the couple of times I found them on TV last year) and I think there may be something brewing here.  They're a really young team and John Bohannon may be the best center you've never heard of.  He made a huge leap from his freshman to sophomore year, and if he does something similar again this season he could be the best center in Conference USA that I can think of right now.  They also get their point guard back who was one of the top assisters in the conference and I don't know man.  They're young and fun like Kate Upton right now, and the way the team is constructed kind of reminds me of those awesome Memphis teams.  Or something.  I don't know, but now you're thinking about Kate Upton so it doesn't really matter what I say anymore.

 53.  TEMPLE OWLS.  The Owls lose two thirds of their back court to graduation, but should still contend at the top of the A-10 because returning guard Khalif Wyatt may be the best player in the conference.  I also like him because Temple is kind of a consistently successful but boring program, and Wyatt threw a little excitement out there this summer when he was arrested for soliciting a prostitute in Atlantic City.  He cooperated and only had to pay a fine and do some community service so he'll back and ready to play, but I can't wait to see some of the signs and hear some nice chants when Temple is on the road.  Should be fun. 

Ponder Apology and Other Stuff

Listen up, buddy

 Ponder Apology

I think it's time I issued Christian Ponder an apology.  I watched quite a bit of Ponder when he played at Florida State and I often felt that despite being surrounded by talent, Ponder failed to live up to expectations.  He threw for 49 TDs and 30 INTs and averaged about 2200 passing yards during his 3 years as a starter.  His arm wasn't much in doubt in college, but his decision making and accuracy were.

Fast forward to the Vikings taking him 12th and Ponder starting at QB for 11 games of the 2011 season.  Again I found Ponder largely unimpressive.  Occasionally he'd make some plays, but so did Trent Dilfer.  My opinion going into this season was that Ponder's upside is a middle of the road NFL quarterback.

Ponder, I'm sorry.  I had no idea that you'd come into 2012 looking like a right-handed Steve Young.  You're completion percentage this year is 15% higher than anything you did in college or last  year.  Incredible!  Ponder did throw his first two INTs of the year against the Titans, but I think he was just bored.  Some credit has to go to the offensive line and the play-calling.  The bottom line though is with time and opportunity, Ponder has taken advantage and made some great throws.  Keep up the good work, it's fun to watch.

Ced, no!

 Gophers Owe Me an Apology

Two Saturday's back the Gophers went into Iowa with a 4-0 record and got mutilated by the hated Hawkeyes.  They came in with a number of injuries;  Gray, O-line, the secondary...  This didn't help, but I also thought the play-calling was a little wonky.  It's ok to predictable when your line and quarterback can flat run the defense over, but this offense did not seem to cater too well to our personnel.  Again, maybe this was due to injury.  Shortell missed a number of throws that I'm sure he'd love to get back and our white speed receivers had some opportunities to bail him out and they couldn't come up with the big plays.  Even worse was the defense.  The Gophers D was putrid against the run and the pass.  Ced Thompson got absolutely murdered several times in the secondary.  What's even worse though is we didn't have injuries to our DEs and OLBs and they were getting killed against runs on the edge.  Much credit has to go to the Iowa offensive line, but you can guarantee the rest of the B1G took notice and we'll see a lot of runs attacking our ends and OLBs.  

All 6'7" of Ted "The Mad Stork" Hendricks

Mega Linebacker

Over the last 10-15 years we've seen a greater prevalence of the big, play-making tight end in the NFL.  There used to be the occasional Shannon Sharpe or Tony Gonzalez or Antonio Gates, but now the league is filled with these guys.  They're generally massive and athletic.  Most of the time, NFL defensive coordinators defend these guys by roughing them up with linebackers and keeping some safety coverage over the top.  This isn't working though, and I'd contend it's because most of the time the LBs and Safeties are not tall enough to compete with these passes.  Last year, 5 of the NFL's leaders in receptions were tight ends.

Why isn't there a position to cover these guys?  Many times, a big, athletic wide receiver will convert to cornerback or safety because he's not cut out to be a wide-out or he's just more suited for the defensive side of the ball.  This should also be happening with tight-ends.  There should be a mega linebacker position that is big and fast enough to hang with these tight ends.  Mega-LB, think about it... the time has come.

That's not how you hang yourself, Gardy.

Did the Twins Play a Season?

It seems like just yesterday I was mildly disinterested in whether our Twins could win 65 games or not.  Now it's all over.  You can always tell it's all over when you receive your annual Twins management apology email.  You know the one, where they promise to work hard all off-season and bring it all together next year.  Oh, and by the way, season tickets are available, you guys!

Sadly, the Twins are in danger of being this poopy for several years.  They have no pitching.  None.  Look at DWGs post about their pitching.  Brutal.  Their other big problem is that they have set their "budget" at a point that doesn't allow the opportunity to take any big chances in free agency.  Look, they might scrape by with the offense the way it is and there really isn't much in free agency there anyway unless they're signing Josh Hamilton (they're not).  They positively cannot scrape by with that pitching staff though.  And there are several middling, not too old, starting pitchers that will be free agents, but you're going to have to give them 3+ years and maybe $7-10MM per year.  The Twins should get at least 2, if not 3 of those guys.  Losing Pavano would free up a lot of that money.  Pavano now throws 84, he's done.  Here are a few starting pitching free agents I'd take a long look at if the purse strings were opened just a little bit:

Edwin Jackson (29) $11mm - Last off-season I was saying the Twins should give Edwin 4 years and $40MM and see what happens. He had a very nice year for the Nats despite ending up with a 10-11 record.  He lowered his walk rate significantly and ended up with a 1.22 WHIP, which rules.  Apparently last year Boras was looking for $12 a year for Edwin, again if I could do 4/40 I would.  His average season over the last 3 years has been: 207 IP, 3.94 ERA, 1.36 WHIP, but a lot of his numbers continue to trend in the right direction.

Brandon McCarthy (29) $4.275 - McCarthy had an unlucky 2012, first with shoulder trouble and then being hit in the head by an Erick Aybar liner.  There is supposedly a chance of Brandon returning for the A's in the playoffs, but they're likely out the door before that comes to fruition.  Unlike Blackburn, McCarthy is a sinkerballer that actually keeps the ball down and is effective.  Since coming to Oakland from Texas he's had an ERA in the low 3s and a miniscule WHIP.  He doesn't miss a lot of bats.  The head injury could possibly get you a discount on McCarthy. 

Shaun Marcum (31) $7.725 - Marcum is damn near a 31 year old Pavano clone.  Doesn't walk anyone, 1.22 career WHIP, no fastball at all, workhorsey.  He kind of broke down last year, but if healthy he's the type of dude the Twins love.  He has much success with a good change-up and a solid slider.  2-3 year deal in the $7-8MM range probably gets him.

Anibal Sanchez (29) $8MM - Sanchez put together two and a half solid seasons with Miami before being moved to Detroit. Sanchez has a very effective change-up as well, with a fastball in the low 90s.

Kevin Correia (32) $4MM in 2012 - Correia throws around 90mph, which the Twins would love.  He sports a career 1.37 WHIP and is coming off one of his best seasons where he only threw 171IP and had a 4.21 ERA.  He's on the cheap side of middle rotation filler guys.  Maybe 2-3 years at $4-5MM a season would do it.  He could also be a 1 year contract type depending on the market.

Jorge De La Rosa (32) $10.75MM - De La Rosa only had 3 (bad) starts this year as he was coming off of arm Tommy John in May 2011.  He has an $11MM option for 2013 that the Rockies are unlikely to take, imo.  Before arm surgery, the lefty was around 93mph and was sort of a late bloomer, winning 16 games in '09.  Despite doing next to nothing for the better part of two years, I suspect a 3yr/25MM deal would be the neighborhood you'd have to be in to get Jorge.


Other jerks that would probably be a top 3 starter for the Twins: Derek Lowe (40), Jonathan Sanchez (30), Scott Feldman (30), Erik Bedard (34), Hiroki Kuroda (38), Kyle Lohse (oh god, 34), Ryan Dempster (36), Carlos Villanueva (29)

Cold MN might make Amanda McCarthy sad. :(

NCAA Hoops Preview: Teams 68-60

As the college basketball season approaches, you're no doubt wondering to yourself, "Hey, when is DWG going to start in with those needlessly long college basketball conference previews that nobody really reads anyway but come with hot pictures?"  Well, I have news for you:  I'm just too busy these days to write that much about the bottom teams of Conference USA, sorry.  I can't, however, go into a college basketball season without at least writing something, so instead I will write short previews of the top 68 teams this year by my estimation, in reverse order.  Why 68, you ask?  Because when I first wrote down all the interesting teams I had 73, and 68 seems like a nice number for college basketball so I chopped off four (sorry Wichita, North Texas, Central Florida, and South Florida).  I will be posting these in chunks of however many I feel like at a time.  So here we go with #s 68 through whatever I get to.

This is an average Utah State girl.

68.  UTAH STATE AGGIES.  I understand nobody really cares about Utah State, but other than Williams Arena it's the place I've seen the most college basketball games, that arena is awesome, and the chicks there are as hot as I've seen anywhere outside of Target HQ, so USU will always get a bump from me.  Plus assuming they can find a way to replace point guard and horrible first name guy Brockeith Pane at the point they should walk to the WAC title (again).  Preston Medlin will be in the running for WAC player of the year and fellow wing Kyisean Reed might be the most athletic player in the conference since Magnum Rolle or at least from what I've seen which admittedly is not all that much because the WAC is never on TV.  In any case it should be a bounce back year for the Aggies, which will make it much more enjoyable if I'm out there for a game this year.  Well, that and the chicks, man.

67.  IOWA HAWKEYES.  It's looking like Iowa might be back, and by back I mean back to the mediocrity we've become accustomed to rather than this laughing stock status I've thoroughly enjoyed the last few seasons.  McCaffery snagged one of the better recruiting classes in the conference this year, and Roy Marble and Aaron White look like they're going to be major factors even if Aaron White doesn't look like he should be any kind of factor at all.  If Melsahn Basabe can bounce back from a sub-par sophomore year the Hawkeyes could be better than this, but I wouldn't count on it because Iowa sucks and everybody knows it. 

66.  USC TROJANS.  Good news for the Gophers, this is the only non-Battle 4 Atlantis non-conference opponent who appears on this list.  Bad news is that they might not even belong this high but I mean come on, we have to at least have the chance to believe there's a decent opponent on the slate, right?  Actually the Trojans would have probably belonged right about here, but leading scorer Maurice Jones transferred after being declared academically ineligible, and that's a bit of a ding right there.  Still, there are a couple decent returning guys and if guard Jio Fontan is fully recovered from last season's ACL injury he's really, really good.  There are also a bunch of transfers from places like Wake and Tennessee and UC-Irvine so who knows, the Trojans could be good enough to surprise.  And by surprise of course I mean surprisingly make the NIT, not the NCAA Tournament.  Make no mistake, a loss by the Gophers to these guys is a disaster. 

65.  NEVADA WOLFPACK.  The move to the Mountain West will hurt Nevada a bit short term since that conference is pretty good whereas the WAC would have been Utah State, Nevada, and that's it, but I'm sure long term it'll be good or something.  Still, Nevada has some serious fire power and should score an upset or two.  The Deonte Burton and Malik Story back court combo is the type that can win a game on it's own if they're both hot, or could completely shoot them out of a game if not.  One thing is for certain with that kind of guard tandem - I won't touch a single game bet of theirs the whole season.  Unless it's the late game.  On TV.  Ok fine, even if it's not on TV, but it WILL have to be a late game.  Probably.

 64.  MANHATTAN JASPERS.  The Jaspers haven't been relevant since the glory days of Luis Flores, but now they're back and Bogart can break out his Manhattan Jaspers t-shirt again.   They return last season's leading conference scorer and last year's Conference Defensive Player of the Year along with a few other starters and should be good enough to tangle with Loyola in the MAAC.  I'd write more but really that's all I know but I really wanted to rank Manhattan in here because god it was so much fun wagering on Manhattan on Friday nights when Flores was there.  I think they covered ever single night.

I agree with these girls.

63.  IOWA STATE CYCLONES.  Another team I may be ranking too highly but I like them and it's my blog and my rankings so screw you fascist.  Anyway, the losses will be tough to deal with especially since Royce White led the team in basically every category including assists (and Chris Allen and Scott Christopherson were scorers #2 and #3), but I have a feeling Hoiberg's transfer system is going to work out well (coming in this year:  Korie Lucious from Michigan State and Will Clyburn from Utah) in the short term, and the team's success is already paying dividends in recruiting with one ESPN Top100 recruit coming in this season and two more on-board already for 2013, which if you're scoring at home is only one fewer than Tubby's signed in his entire time with the Gophers.  That's it, I'm moving to Ames.  Plus they have a really kick-ass sandwich shop there (West End Deli, maybe?) and a "strip club" where the girls strip down to bikinis which is weird but whatever.  All that plus actual D-I level basketball.  Sounds like nirvana.

62.  UMASS MINUTEMEN.  Can UMass finally get to their first NCAA Tournament since 1998?  No, probably not since the only time that school was good was when cheater Calipari was there, but at least they should be in the mix.  They have a good start with apparent 1980's movie bully Chaz Williams back, who led the A-10 in assists last season, and if you start with a great distributor you never know how things are going to fall.  They also have basically the same entire squad back from last year's NIT Final Four team, which is both a positive and a negative, and it's a very experienced team.  Sort of the opposite of Nevada, UMass is a solid, experienced, and quality team who should be able to hang with pretty much anybody without getting blown out.  They don't play anyone particularly good this year, so I can see taking them in any game where they are +5 or worse.  Also I didn't intend for these previews to be gambling related in any way, but it turns out I have one hell of a gambling problem.

61.  MIDDLE TENNESSEE BLUE RAIDERS.  Remember last year when these guys blew through the Sun Belt like they owned the joint and were even a possible at-large team depending on how the conference tournament went?  And then they lost in their first conference tournament game to a shitty team and got bounced to the NIT where they won two games before the Gophers stomped on their heads?  Well this is basically the same team with more experience.  They do lose their leading scorer who also happened to be the conference player of the year, but should still be the best team in the conference.  The only team who should be able to challenge them is North Texas, so there's no reason Middle Tennessee shouldn't be making a trip to the NCAA Tournament this year.  You know, just like last season.

60.  ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE.  It's going to be tough to replace JaMychal Green and Tony Mitchell, although less so Mitchell because he missed the team's last eleven games after being suspended.  The biggest key to the season may be freshman Devonta Pollard, a small forward who is an absolute elite player from Day 1 (#28 overall on ESPN, #22 on Rivals).  If Pollard (who is 6'8) can play in the paint Alabama's two billion good guards could surround him and make this a very good team.  If he can't, they basically have nobody else and they will suck like that 2 Broke Girls show.  There is no in between.  I refuse to allow it.

Monday Musings

-  Do you realize that we've officially hit the month (October) which is the same month the NBA starts (October)?  I didn't either, but a co-worker mentioned to me the NBA actually starts at the end of this month (October) and sure enough, he's right.  Crazy.  I know I don't write a ton of NBA stuff because I only casually follow it during the season because college hoops is so much better, but every season I get excited for the start of the season before watching one game and remembering everything that bores me about it until the playoffs.  I actually started this post as an early NBA preview but then I got bored.  I'm sure TRE or I will have something up as we get closer to the season.  Two predictions:  T-Wolves make the playoffs as a 7 seed and the Sixers take the 2 seed in the East.  Also hopefully everyone on the Lakers dies.

-  Ok a little bit more on the Wolves, who I am optimistic about despite not knowing exactly when Rubio will be back.  Kevin Love is an absolute superstar, even if it's sometimes hard to think of him as such when you keep remembering the chubby unathletic kid from UCLA who you were convinced would be an NBA bust, but finishing 4th in the league in scoring and 2nd in rebounding while knocking down a ton of 3s (led the team and 21st in the league) is pretty clearly superstar type numbers (not to mention finishing 6th in MVP voting on a non-playoff team).  Not to mention how many amazing nights did he have when your jaw would just drop?  The double-double streak.  The 20-rebound games.  The 40 (and 50) point nights.  The four game stretch where he averaged 37 & 16.  The buzzer beater against LAC?  Obviously I love this guy, and having him guarantees the Wolves will at least be competitive for a spot in the playoffs this year.

And the complementary pieces just work.  Pekovic will be back and oh my he is just a beast and you know he's killed at least three people with his bare hands back in Mother Russia.  We might as well call him Zangeif.  He's the perfect guy to put down next to Love because if anybody starts shit with Love Zangeif will just rip their head off and make them eat it somehow.

In mother Russia, ball rebounds you!

Then Ridnour/Barea are just fine to fill in until Rubio comes back, and that's not even taking into account Alexey Shved who has a chance to be a little bit of a Rubio Lite.  Adding Andre Kirilenko gives you a defensive stopper (and a few too many commies, if you ask me) even if he's a bit long in the tooth.  The biggest weakness last year was on the wing, but with Roy (if his knees hold up), Derrick Williams (who apparently lost weight to play more on the wing), Chase Budinger, and Kirilenko two of them should work out well enough.  Back up big men are a little shaky with Lou Amundsen and Greg Stiemsma, but if everything goes according to plan you just need them to get in the way on defense and please god don't shoot on offense and shouldn't that be enough to get into the playoffs?  I say yes.  Plus, and I know everybody has made these jokes already a million times, but have you ever seen so many white guys on one team?  Crazy.  Not Camila and her sweet rack from Road Rules/Real World Challenge crazy, but crazy.

A little crazy can be a good thing.

Seriously I hate being so optimistic.  Between the Wolves and the Gophers my basketball boner for this season is off the charts.  If I had to rank my confidence that they'd each have a good season (playoffs for the Wolves, top-4 conference finish and NCAA win for the Gophers) on a scale of 1-10 I'd be at a combined 18, much higher than the old record of 6.

- I suppose I should say something about the Gopher footballers poor performance against Iowa on Saturday.  Unfortunately by the time I realized the game was on and turned it to ESPN2 it was already 17-0 and then Shortell kept throwing interceptions so eventually Wonderbaby and I played Super Mario Brothers on the Wii instead.  We won!

-  If Tony Romo doesn't start throwing the ball to Dez Bryant I swear to god I'm going to kill someone.  With a pitchfork or something else really stabby.  God Romo just sucks.

-  Pretty epic choke job at the Ryder Cup, which is much less sexy than it sounds.  Sadly I missed most of it watching football because like most of the free world I assumed there was no possible way the U.S. could lose and also because I was at my parents' house with Bear and they have Red Zone Channel and I was like whoa.  As such, I missed seeing Furyk and Mickelson pee down their legs, but thanks to a well-timed text from Snacks I was able to flip over in time to see Stricker wrap his putter around his neck.   I know people who don't watch golf don't quite get it (like Bear was talking about how the Ryder Cup is stupid on Sunday before I distracted him by talking about men in bike shorts), but this is devastating.  It seems hard to believe when you're talking about something that only happens every two years between groups of people who never play as a team, but if you watch it and watch it every two years you know what I'm talking about.  Europe has been destroying the U.S. almost every time out, and for the Americans to jump out to what would usually be an insurmountable lead, on their home soil, only to give it away by letting Europe win nearly every match when it came down to man vs. man?  Luckily everyone can go back to being an individual instead of a team for the next 2 years and try to forget (yeah I know they have the President's Cup or whatever but let's not pretend anybody gives a crap), and hopefully in two years everyone will be done thinking/talking/obsessing over this.  Ha ha just kidding.  In two years just wait to see how much this is talked about.  Prepare to throw up all over yourself like Stricker on 17. 

-  As for my thoughts on the upcoming presidential election, I'm just kidding.  God bless you whackos.

-  And I forgot to mention the Vikings.  They still suck, but now they're winning while they suck which is pretty much better than losing while sucking and actually worked for that Trent Dilfer team who sucked all year long until they won the Super Bowl.  So am I saying the Vikings are going to win the Super Bowl?  Yes, yes I am.

-  Seriously Tony Romo is absolutely fucking terrible.   You know how bad Fat Stafford looked this Sunday against the Vikings?  That's like Tony Romo 14 games a year.  Being a Dez fan is hard enough watching this, I can't believe there are Cowboy fans who haven't killed themselves yet.  God this must be brutal for 16 weeks a year.

-  Pretty fired up for the baseball playoffs.  Do you realize the Orioles are going to be in the playoffs despite not having won 70+ games since 2006, 80+ games since 1997, and their preseason OVER/UNDER on season wins was 69.5?  That shit is nuts.  And there's a good chance the A's are there as well, and they've won 80+ just once since 2007.  Not to mention that the probably best team (Nationals) shut down their best pitcher for the playoffs for some misguided, though well intentioned, reasons and the two best starting staffs amongst the contenders (Angels and Rays) likely won't make the playoffs.  Crazy.  I'm guessing TRE and I will have some sort of preview up, so until then........