NCAA Hoops Preview: Teams 68-60

As the college basketball season approaches, you're no doubt wondering to yourself, "Hey, when is DWG going to start in with those needlessly long college basketball conference previews that nobody really reads anyway but come with hot pictures?"  Well, I have news for you:  I'm just too busy these days to write that much about the bottom teams of Conference USA, sorry.  I can't, however, go into a college basketball season without at least writing something, so instead I will write short previews of the top 68 teams this year by my estimation, in reverse order.  Why 68, you ask?  Because when I first wrote down all the interesting teams I had 73, and 68 seems like a nice number for college basketball so I chopped off four (sorry Wichita, North Texas, Central Florida, and South Florida).  I will be posting these in chunks of however many I feel like at a time.  So here we go with #s 68 through whatever I get to.

This is an average Utah State girl.

68.  UTAH STATE AGGIES.  I understand nobody really cares about Utah State, but other than Williams Arena it's the place I've seen the most college basketball games, that arena is awesome, and the chicks there are as hot as I've seen anywhere outside of Target HQ, so USU will always get a bump from me.  Plus assuming they can find a way to replace point guard and horrible first name guy Brockeith Pane at the point they should walk to the WAC title (again).  Preston Medlin will be in the running for WAC player of the year and fellow wing Kyisean Reed might be the most athletic player in the conference since Magnum Rolle or at least from what I've seen which admittedly is not all that much because the WAC is never on TV.  In any case it should be a bounce back year for the Aggies, which will make it much more enjoyable if I'm out there for a game this year.  Well, that and the chicks, man.

67.  IOWA HAWKEYES.  It's looking like Iowa might be back, and by back I mean back to the mediocrity we've become accustomed to rather than this laughing stock status I've thoroughly enjoyed the last few seasons.  McCaffery snagged one of the better recruiting classes in the conference this year, and Roy Marble and Aaron White look like they're going to be major factors even if Aaron White doesn't look like he should be any kind of factor at all.  If Melsahn Basabe can bounce back from a sub-par sophomore year the Hawkeyes could be better than this, but I wouldn't count on it because Iowa sucks and everybody knows it. 

66.  USC TROJANS.  Good news for the Gophers, this is the only non-Battle 4 Atlantis non-conference opponent who appears on this list.  Bad news is that they might not even belong this high but I mean come on, we have to at least have the chance to believe there's a decent opponent on the slate, right?  Actually the Trojans would have probably belonged right about here, but leading scorer Maurice Jones transferred after being declared academically ineligible, and that's a bit of a ding right there.  Still, there are a couple decent returning guys and if guard Jio Fontan is fully recovered from last season's ACL injury he's really, really good.  There are also a bunch of transfers from places like Wake and Tennessee and UC-Irvine so who knows, the Trojans could be good enough to surprise.  And by surprise of course I mean surprisingly make the NIT, not the NCAA Tournament.  Make no mistake, a loss by the Gophers to these guys is a disaster. 

65.  NEVADA WOLFPACK.  The move to the Mountain West will hurt Nevada a bit short term since that conference is pretty good whereas the WAC would have been Utah State, Nevada, and that's it, but I'm sure long term it'll be good or something.  Still, Nevada has some serious fire power and should score an upset or two.  The Deonte Burton and Malik Story back court combo is the type that can win a game on it's own if they're both hot, or could completely shoot them out of a game if not.  One thing is for certain with that kind of guard tandem - I won't touch a single game bet of theirs the whole season.  Unless it's the late game.  On TV.  Ok fine, even if it's not on TV, but it WILL have to be a late game.  Probably.

 64.  MANHATTAN JASPERS.  The Jaspers haven't been relevant since the glory days of Luis Flores, but now they're back and Bogart can break out his Manhattan Jaspers t-shirt again.   They return last season's leading conference scorer and last year's Conference Defensive Player of the Year along with a few other starters and should be good enough to tangle with Loyola in the MAAC.  I'd write more but really that's all I know but I really wanted to rank Manhattan in here because god it was so much fun wagering on Manhattan on Friday nights when Flores was there.  I think they covered ever single night.

I agree with these girls.

63.  IOWA STATE CYCLONES.  Another team I may be ranking too highly but I like them and it's my blog and my rankings so screw you fascist.  Anyway, the losses will be tough to deal with especially since Royce White led the team in basically every category including assists (and Chris Allen and Scott Christopherson were scorers #2 and #3), but I have a feeling Hoiberg's transfer system is going to work out well (coming in this year:  Korie Lucious from Michigan State and Will Clyburn from Utah) in the short term, and the team's success is already paying dividends in recruiting with one ESPN Top100 recruit coming in this season and two more on-board already for 2013, which if you're scoring at home is only one fewer than Tubby's signed in his entire time with the Gophers.  That's it, I'm moving to Ames.  Plus they have a really kick-ass sandwich shop there (West End Deli, maybe?) and a "strip club" where the girls strip down to bikinis which is weird but whatever.  All that plus actual D-I level basketball.  Sounds like nirvana.

62.  UMASS MINUTEMEN.  Can UMass finally get to their first NCAA Tournament since 1998?  No, probably not since the only time that school was good was when cheater Calipari was there, but at least they should be in the mix.  They have a good start with apparent 1980's movie bully Chaz Williams back, who led the A-10 in assists last season, and if you start with a great distributor you never know how things are going to fall.  They also have basically the same entire squad back from last year's NIT Final Four team, which is both a positive and a negative, and it's a very experienced team.  Sort of the opposite of Nevada, UMass is a solid, experienced, and quality team who should be able to hang with pretty much anybody without getting blown out.  They don't play anyone particularly good this year, so I can see taking them in any game where they are +5 or worse.  Also I didn't intend for these previews to be gambling related in any way, but it turns out I have one hell of a gambling problem.

61.  MIDDLE TENNESSEE BLUE RAIDERS.  Remember last year when these guys blew through the Sun Belt like they owned the joint and were even a possible at-large team depending on how the conference tournament went?  And then they lost in their first conference tournament game to a shitty team and got bounced to the NIT where they won two games before the Gophers stomped on their heads?  Well this is basically the same team with more experience.  They do lose their leading scorer who also happened to be the conference player of the year, but should still be the best team in the conference.  The only team who should be able to challenge them is North Texas, so there's no reason Middle Tennessee shouldn't be making a trip to the NCAA Tournament this year.  You know, just like last season.

60.  ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE.  It's going to be tough to replace JaMychal Green and Tony Mitchell, although less so Mitchell because he missed the team's last eleven games after being suspended.  The biggest key to the season may be freshman Devonta Pollard, a small forward who is an absolute elite player from Day 1 (#28 overall on ESPN, #22 on Rivals).  If Pollard (who is 6'8) can play in the paint Alabama's two billion good guards could surround him and make this a very good team.  If he can't, they basically have nobody else and they will suck like that 2 Broke Girls show.  There is no in between.  I refuse to allow it.

Week in Review - 11/7/2011

Missouri to the SEC?  West Virginia to the Big 12?  I think I'm officially old or maybe just completely sick of all the moving because what was once kind of exciting and neato is now annoying and I just want it to go away, not unlike my kids.  Whatever.  I am just confused as to why the hell the SEC would want Missouri.  Makes little sense to me.  I get the WVU and Big 12 merger - the B12 needs to grab whoever they can (academics be damned, apparently) and WVU is a good program stuck in a suddenly dying conference after the Cuse and Pitt defections and needs to find more stable ground.  Makes sense for everyone.  But Missouri to the SEC?  I'm not even sure I get it for Missouri.  You're going to sell midwest kids by telling them they their parents can come see them play if they fly all the way to the SE USA?  I don't know.  But I know I don't know and I'm dumb about this stuff so whatever let's move on.  


WHO WAS AWESOME:

1.  MarQueis Gray.  By some kind of weird accident I ended up watching most of the Gopher football game, and I have to say Gray impressed the crap out of me and looked like a whole new player (NOTE:  we're throwing out the 4th quarter which was mostly just bad decisions and passes that made it 85% of the way to their target all wrapped up with a final pass that was 25 yards from any Gopher).  I saw him look to a second read instead of just tucking and running, and I even saw him go to a third read at one point.  And some of those throws my god who was that?  His third TD to McKnight (the one in the 3rd quarter) was an absolutely beautiful throw, and he had one on the final drive where the threaded the needle quite nicely as well.  I don't know, I've been convinced Gray had no real future as a QB, but suddenly I'm not so sure.  Of course I don't mean a real QB here, obviously, I mean a college QB.  Also I think you're racist.

2.  Michigan Wolverines.  Not the football team (although we'll get there), but the basketball team, specifically recruiting-wise, because they just secured a commitment from 2012 power forward Mitch McGary, who is basically worshiped by anybody and everybody who follows high school hoops (side bar:  can you believe worshiped only has one 'p'?  Weird.).  McGary is listed as either a power forward or a center depending on who you ask, but, since John Beilein was after him you know damn well he has perimeter skills, but unlike a guy like Pittsnoggle or those white nerds on Michigan right now, McGary has the inside game to go with it.  Really, I mean the guy is #2 overall in the class according to both ESPN and Scout and is #3 according to Rivals - this is a really really huge deal for the Wolverines and actually the Big 10 overall.  I mean, Michigan's top competition for McGary was Duke, and the other competition was Kentucky, Florida, and North Carolina.  Just a ridiculous get.  Take notes, Tubby.  Beilein has Michigan on their way (also has commits from the #34 and #79 recruits in that same class) and they're positioned to be a national contender soon.  Started in the same year as Tubby.  Just sayin'


3.  Trent Richardson.  Ok so this one might seem kind of weird because his stat line isn't all that good and he pretty much did nothing in the second half vs. LSU, but I thought this guy was kind of slow and probably going to be a flop in the NFL.  After watching the game saturday night I am fully revising that prediction to future stud.  Yeah, he's big and strong, which probably meant he'd be at least a decent NFL rusher, but he caught a couple of passes in the flat against LSU where he made a whole mess of people miss him with a little juke here and a little juke there - and LSU is an excellent defensive team.  It wasn't pretty or shifty like Barry Sanders or LeSean McCoy, but it was certainly quick enough to be effective.  Combine that with his power and he's going to be a major contributor at some point for some NFL team.  I don't know, maybe like a faster Brandon Jacobs who can catch.  Something like that but better.

4.  DeMarco Murray.  I like that Murray comes right after Richardson because I can never remember who played/plays for Alabama and who played/plays for Oklahoma.  But anyway I think it's pretty clear at this point that Murray is the goods.  After his debut as a starter, where he ran for 253 yards, you could probably talk yourself into thinking that was some kind of fluke.  Then last week he rushed for 74 yards, but did it on only 8 carries because of how the game was going.  This week he once again impressed, going for 139 rushing and another 47 receiving and just generally looking like a stud.  He's fast (enough), strong (enough), and very shifty, not to mention being a great receiver - at least according to his scouting report coming out of college.  I haven't been this impressed with a young back since LeSean McCoy.  Of course, I now have McCoy, Murray, and Ray Rice on my keeper team and we only start two RBs, so I should probably figure out something to do with all that.

5.  Green Bay Packers.  God damn it.  These fuckers are going to go undefeated, aren't they?  And I'm going to have to sit here and choke on it.  After beating San Diego, which should have been a completely losable game, they are now 8-0.  Looking at the schedule there are three games they can't possibly lose (vs. Oakland, vs. Minnesota, vs. Chicago) and another one that is essentially unlosable but because it's on the road I can't quite call it that (@ Kansas City).  So that's a guaranteed 12 wins.  Two of the other four games they'll be a pretty good sized favorite, maybe around a TD or so (vs. Detroit, vs. Tampa), and one other (@ New York Giants) they'll be probably around a 3 point favorite.  The only game where they might be an underdog is @ Detroit on Thanksgiving, and god help us all if Stafford can't pull that one out because I'm pretty sure I can't survive in a world where the Packers go undefeated and win another Super Bowl.  Seriously my hatred for Green Bay makes my hatred for the Badgers look like my hatred for chicken wings which is weird because I don't care about the NFL all that much.  I think if the Packers were a college I'd probably go all Charles Whitman on it. 


WHO SUCKED

1.  Alabama Kickers.  What the mother hell was that?  Four missed field goals in the biggest game of the year and probably your career?  Just brutal.  Although I guess asking college kickers to make field goals of 40-50 yards is pretty ridiculous, so it's not like the Tide was exactly putting their dudes in positions to succeed.  I don't know, the whole thing was just ugly and ridiculous and kind of funny.  I was actually looking forward to them trotting out the kicker each time they went for a field goal.  And seriously, bringing that dude out for a 52 yarder in OT when he'd already missed two on the night?  Nobody, and I mean nobody, thought that one was going to go through.  Kickers, lol.  Probably should just amend the rule book to get rid of field goals in college, Chip Lohmiller be damned.

2.  Denard Robinson.  And this is why, no matter how successful your run first QB is in college (and Robinson has already been benched this year so there's that) you can never feel comfortable with a dude who can't really throw.  Michigan, down by 8, ball on the 3, first down, 30 seconds or something left.  First play - some kind of mini-up-and-out on the outside - receiver marginally open - Robinson throws it completely out of bounds.  Second down - floater in the middle of nowhere, throw without really even looking at the defense - still almost caught but receiver was out-of-bounds.  Much like the pizza at Donatelli's.  Third down - little scramble play - throw comes up short - actually probably should have been caught.  But I've typed too much to turn back.  Fourth Down - hike and throw timing play with no options which is actually really stupid because if you have a dude like Denard you want there to be a lot of options and this play has zero.  This should probably be ripping on whoever the Michigan coach is.  But 1.  I don't know who that is and 2. I'm drunk on Saturday night whilst typing this and I don't feel like doing whatever. 

3.  Philip Rivers.  He always puts up monster numbers, like his 385 yards and 4 TDs against Green Bay on Sunday, but he's just a train wreck of inconsistency, as his 3 picks with two brought back for Packer touchdowns attests too.  He's not like Romo, who will always choke in a big game, but he's just all over the place and will always make just as many terrible throws/decisions as he does good ones. Seriously, he throws interceptions in the playoffs/big games like that's his actual job, he just masks it by also throwing for a couple TDs and 350+ yards so nobody really notices.  Seriously, if you had to pick a "good" QB to start a game that he had to win or you would die Rivers would be the second worst guy you could pick, behind Romo of course.  Because he's a big time choker.  Like that dude from Kung Fu or Albert DeSalvo (supposedly). 

I have nothing to add.  I just like this picture.

4.  West Virginia.  The Mountaineers lost their exhibition game versus d-2 Northern Kentucky on Saturday, which doesn't necessarily mean disaster for the season but it's kind of hard to think of this as a good sign.  No, they weren't the only team to lose to a D-2 team this week - Butler lost to Northern State and Arizona lost to Seattle Pacific - but everyone else had mitigating circumstances that could at least explain it.  Butler lost their top 2 players from last year and have to deal with that while Arizona is trying to break in a freshman point guard and lost their do everything player, but WVU shouldn't have those issues.  I mean yeah, they lost last year's leading scorer in Casey Mitchell, but with do everything Kevin Jones and point guard Truck Bryant back there's no reason for them to lose this game.  Most troubling is they allowed Northern Kentucky to shoot 52% from the floor for the game.  I don't know if this is a fluke or a terrible sign and harbinger of doom, but it ain't good.

5.  Jim Thome.  Tell me this isn't completely bizarre.  I mean the contract makes total sense - 1 year for $1.25 million with AB incentives that can push it to $1.5.  Perfect for everybdoy.  And I even get how Thome likes Philly from when he played there before and Philly likes Thome because if you don't like Thome you're probably evil in your black heart.  Again, makes sense.  But let's think about this, and realize that Philadelphia is in the national league and unless something changed they don't have a designated hitter in that league.  Thome proved with the Twins that he can't field - at all- which is why Mike Cuddyer, Luke Hughes, Trevor Plouffe, Joe Mauer, Matt Tolbert, Brendan Harris, and Jose Morales have all played 1st in the last two years.  So he's signing on to the Phils to get a max of 162 plate appearances next year.  I mean sure, he'll probably get all 162 since it's the NL, but I can't see any way he gets more than that unless there's a rule change allowing double pinch-hits.   I mean maybe that's what Thome is looking for now, it's a pretty sweet life making seven figures to eat some seeds or chew some Redman before taking a couple hacks late in the game, but I always got the impression he wanted to start once in a while.  Also this probably doesn't belong in the "who sucks" thing but I didn't really want to make another post about it so fuck it. 



Three Final Things:

1 .  The greatest sport in the world starts tonight with college hoops kicking off with the Coaches vs. Cancer Classic.  Three games tonight (Valpo @ Arizona, William & Mary @ St. Johns, and Eastern Kentucky @ Mississippi State) and then three more Wednesday (Duquesne @ Arizona, Liberty @ Texas A&M, and Lehigh @ St. John's) get us all kicked off leading to the big day on Friday when there are 126 games.  I'm stoked, and if you're looking for a wager tonight the only game I have a feel for is Miss State -17 vs. EKU, so just do it.  Also, here is my fantasy college basketball roster:

G - Dee Bost, Miss State
G - Allen Crabbe, Cal
G - Abdul Gaddy, Washington
G - Andre Young, Clemson
G - Glen Rice, Georgia Tech
G - Faisal Aden, Wash State
G - Lorenzo Brown, NC State
G - BJ Young, Arkansas
G - Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, Georgia
G/F - Drew Crawford, Northwestern
F - Trevor Mbakwe, Minnesota
F - Drew Gordon, New Mexico
F - Chris Johnson, Dayton
F - Brandon Davies, BYU
F - Malik Cooke, South Carolina
F - Dwight Powell, Stanford
C - Josh Smith, UCLA
C - Andrew Smith, Butler
C - Meyers Leonard, Illinois
C - Krys Faber, DePaul

I smell championship.

2.  Since I'm feeling generous here is a kick-ass soup recipe, which you can make as either beef or chicken:

1 lb. chicken breast or stew meat cut into cubes (depending on if you want chicken or beef soup, obvs)
2 potatoes, cubed
2 small carrots, diced
1/2 c. chopped onion
1/2 c. chopped celery
1 1/2 c. frozen corn kernels
2 T horseradish mustard (dijon works too)
1/4 t. black pepper
1/4 t. cayenne pepper
1/2 t. garlic powder
1/2 t. salt
2 1/2 c. vegetable juice like v-8
1 1/2 c. chicken broth (or beef if making beef soup)

Combine and cook in a crockpot for 7-9 hours.  Hell yes.

3.  I got distracted and I can't remember what #3 was now.  Ok then bye.

NCAA Basketball Preview - SEC

While the Pac-10 has been down and gotten most of the press/talk about being the worst major conference in college ball lately, the SEC hasn't been far behind.  It's less notable because of Kentucky and Florida's success, but some of the traditional power teams have been way down, specifically LSU and Arkansas.


Things seem to be looking up however, with Vanderbilt looking very strong (they'd probably be ranked first in any other conference outside this and the ACC), Alabama looking strong, and LSU looking to be improved this year.  Also I'm really just writing this to push the pictures down so they aren't "above the fold" because somebody once requested I do that because otherwise they pull up my blog at work and BAM hot chick right in front.  So that's why I'm still typing. 

1.  KENTUCKY WILDCATS.  If you're sick of John Calipari and Kentucky, this isn't the year for you because this might be slimey Cal's best team ever.  He got a break with Terrence Jones and Doron Lamb opting to stay in school and brings in the #1 recruiting class in the country and maybe the best of his career with PF Anthony Davis (#2), SF Mike Gilchrist (#3), PG Marquis Teague (#5), and PF Kyle Wiltjer (#22).  Just those six together with filler would be a top 10 team, but Kentucky still has .  Is this the year Calipari finally puts it all together and walks away with the National Title?  Good god, I hope not.  That slime ball and Kentucky hoops in general can go to hell.

2.  VANDERBILT COMMODORES.  Vandy has a big chance to be really, really good this year.  Unfortunately they were really, really good last year too and still got bounced by Richmond in the first round - not unlike the previous year when they got bounced in the first by Murray State.  If they're going to make a run anytime soon this is the year to do it - they've got all five starters back and nine of their top ten scorers.  John Jenkins might be the best shooter in the league and has surpassed Jeffrey Taylor as the best player on this team - and Taylor still has a shot to be All-SEC First Team.  Their point guard led the SEC in assists, which makes sense giving those two guys he's dishing to, and they have a couple very solid post men including the sweet named Festus Ezeli.  They also bring in a good class highlighted by Dai-Jon Parker, one of the best recruits in Vandy history.  Seriously, they're loaded.  If they can't make a run with this group they might as well disband the hoops program and become the full-time nerd school they're destined to become.

3.  FLORIDA GATORS.  The good news is that the Gators are absolutely loaded at guard, and you need guards to win.  They return Erving Walker and Kenny Boynton, who were their top 2 scorers last year and add Rutgers transfer Mike Rosario, who led his team in scoring 2 years ago and was a big time recruit as a freshman, and freshman Bradley Beal, the #4 recruit in the nation.  So yeah, they're set in the back court.  The front court, however, is a big question mark because all three starters are gone.  Patric Young is still here, and he was a highly regarded center a year ago and played well as a back-up last season.  If they can figure out what to do with their big men or make a 3/4 guard offense work they are going to be a very, very dangerous team in March.

4.  ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE.  Essentially the inverse of Florida, the Tide are loaded in the paint but
 have serious question marks on the perimeter.  JaMychal Green might be the best interior player in the conference, and he returns as the #2 returning scorer among perimeter players and the #2 returning rebounder in the conference (both behind UK's Terrence Jones), and the man who'll be starting right next to him, Tony Mitchell, is #3 and #4.  On the perimeter there's talent, if not experience.  Travis Releford, the team's third leading scorer last year, is back and a couple of newcomers are top 30 recruits in Trevor Lacey and Levi Randolph.  Actually, now that I'm writing this I want to swap Bama and Florida here, but then my first sentence doesn't make any sense and I'd have to redo the whole thing.   

5.  MISSISSIPPI STATE BULLDOGS.  The Bulldogs will go as far as Renardo Sidney and Dee Bost's heads will take them.  Neither was the team's leading scorer last year (that was Ravern Johnson who is gone) but it's hard to argue they aren't the two most talented players.  Of course, Sidney is overweight, disappears and floats through games at times, and got in a well-publicized fight with a teammate last season, not to mention the mess of trouble he went through with the NCAA.  Bost missed the first 14 games last year after not withdrawing from the NBA draft in time and not keeping his academics in order.  All the NCAA trouble should be behind them, but Sidney is the type of guy who could score 30 and grab 15 boards in a game or just as easily score in single-figures and grab just a couple boards.  Not to mention that he gives the impression he's a bit of a ticking time bomb who could do something that would get him suspended again.  Awfully fun to watch though.

6.  LSU TIGERS.  It hasn't really felt right the last two season's with LSU at the bottom of the SEC, but things should be looking up this year.  Their top four scorers are back and they add in their first McDonald's All-American since 2005 in Johnny O'Bryant, a center who Rivals ranks as the 4th best at his position amongst all freshmen (#46 overall).  And what a nice coincidence, center is exactly what LSU needed most.  The perimeter is manned by sophomores Andre Stringer and Ralston Turner who were both top 150 recruits last year and both had successful first seasons, with Storm Warren (team's best rebounder) and Iowa State transfer Justin Hamilton joining O'Bryant on the inside (I didn't know players actually transferred OUT of Ames).  LSU won't be a great team and likely won't challenge for an NCAA Tournament bid, but they'll at least get themselves out of the cellar and moving in the right direction.

7.  ARKANSAS RAZORBACKS.  Despite bringing in what Rivals ranks as the #11 class in the country, John Pelphrey was fired after another subpar season by Arkansas.  Luckily new coach Mike Anderson was able to hold on to the class, and that's doubly good because leading scorer, noted sharpshooter, and horribly named Rotnei Clarke (who is white, fyi) transferred after the switch and third-leading scorer and leading rebounder Delvon Johnson has graduated.  It's basically going to be Marshawn Powell with a whole bunch of unproven guys, both older and the newcomers.  The two new guards (B.J. Young and Ky Madden) can both play either guard spot and were both top 30 type recruits, so they should thrive under Anderson.  Should be fun to watch, either way.

8.  TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERS.  I don't really like living in a world where Tennessee isn't a top tier SEC basketball team, but after Bruce Pearl tried to single-handedly destroy the program that looks like where we sit with five of the team's top six scorers from last year gone and one of their top recruits opted out and signed on with Louisville instead.  The lone big-time returner is guard Cameron Tatum who has been a bit of a disappointment thus far in his career, averaging around 7.5 points per game.  He's always been a 3rd or 4th option, but will have a chance to be the man this year.  There's plenty of other talent (why wouldn't there be since Pearl was a cheater) if not experience, with freshmen PG Chris Jones and SG Josh Richardson, sophomore SGs Jordan McRae and Trae Golden, junior center Kenny Hall and SF Jeronne Maymon, and senior PF Renaldo Woolridge all former top 100 recruits.  So really, these guys could finish anywhere from 4th to 12th and it wouldn't be a surprise.  With a good new coach in Cuonzo Martin I'm guessing they'll be ok.

 9.  OLE MISS REBELS.  The last four years had to be a bit disappointing for the Rebels (assuming anybody there cares about something besides football) because they had Chris Warren (not the RB) one of the best players in Ole Miss history and all they could muster was a couple of NIT Final Fours without a single NCAA berth.  Now Warren is gone along with his back court mate Zach Graham and they're combined 34 points, 7 rebounds, and 6 assists per game with them.  As you can imagine, this leaves a fairly gaping hole.  The good news is that Jelan Kendrick, formerly of the Memphis Tigers and was ranked the #15 best recruit in the country in 2010, is on board and becomes eligible after the first semester - he will immediately become Ole Miss's best player.  Assuming he manages to stay on the team (read this for a quick synopsis of this dude's mental issues) he and fellow NBA prospect Terrance Henry should at least keep Ole Miss competitive.

10.  AUBURN TIGERS.  Auburn was completely awful last season with losses to teams like Presbyterian, Asheville, Samford, Jacksonville, and Campbell and their leading scorer and rebounder from last season transferred to Missouri, but there isn't a complete lack of hope for the Tigers.  Kenny Gabriel is a double-figure scorer who is back, point guard Frankie Sullivan is returning from a season ending knee injury last year, while a couple of transfers (Varez Ward from Texas and Noel Johnson from Clemson) will likely immediately jump into the starting lineup.  They also add 6-10 center Willy Kouassi, the #66 freshman in the country and SG Cedrick McAfee (#145), so although they won't be in contention for an NCAA bid any time soon, at least there's a little bit of reason for hope.

11.  GEORGIA BULLDOGS.  No team was hit harder by early NBA entries than Georgia with Trey Thompkins and Travis Leslie taking off.  All those two were responsible for last season was 45% of the team's points, 44% of their rebounds, 30% of their assists, 38% of their steals, and 46% of their blocks, and took 42% of the team's shots.  So yes, there are some big shoes to fill here.  They do have 3rd leading scorer and starting PG Gerald Robinson back, so that will help, and stud recruit Kentavious Caldwell-Pope (#12 overall) will probably immediately start next to him, but besides Thompkins in the paint they also have to try to replace their top 2 other post men, and there's just nobody here to do it.

12.  SOUTH CAROLINA GAME COCKS.  So this team won 5 SEC games last year.  Their best player, Bruce Ellington, decided to play football and, although he is supposed to rejoin the team it won't happen until after football season and South Carolina is probably heading to a bowl.  Their second best player graduated, and their third best player decided to transfer to LaSalle who is terrible.  I'd say things are not looking super great.  You know how it seems like the Cocks either beat or put a scare into somebody good at home every year?  Yeah, don't expect that this year.  As the Gin Blossoms once said, "Don't expect too much from me and you might not be let down."


Other previews:
Big 12
ACC
Atlantic 10
Pac 12

Week in Review - 01.24.2011

 Well, it's now obvious how to fix the Vikings.  Simply trade your second round pick over to Chicago for Caleb Hanie, give him the rock, and sit back and watch him destroy the league.  The guy's like the second coming of Jonathan Moxon!  Of course, if Chicago is smart they're going to demand your first round pick.  Is Hanie worth #12 overall?  I think it's pretty clear that he is.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Gopher basketball.  Ok, awesome might be a bit strong here, but considering that at no point did I expect them to end up winning that game in Ann Arbor and they pulled it out semi-convincingly I can give credit where credit is due - particularly since Al Nolen was out for the entire second half.  I'm not even sure which part was most impressive for the Gophers:  Blake filling in at point guard and doing a great job (6 assists to 0 turnovers) including a couple of big baskets down the stretch, the absolute pounding they put on the boards (out-reobunded Michigan 37-11), or the quality shots they were getting that led to 63% shooting.  Just an all around excellent game.  Now let's hope Nolen isn't hurt for an significant period of time.

At this point the Gophers have to be considered a near lock to make the NCAA Tournament.  An RPI of 24 with a Strength of Schedule of 41, 3 wins over RPI top 25 teams, and just one bad loss (Virginia, RPI 121).  Absolute worst case scenario, will be an 7-11 Big 10 record, and that's if there only wins the rest of the year are home games against Northwestern, Michigan, and Penn State.  Obviously in that case they wouldn't get in, but 9-9 should do it so all they need to do is win 2 games out of @ Purdue, @ Indiana, vs. Ohio State, vs. Illinois, @ Iowa, @ Penn State, vs. Michigan State, and @ Northwestern.  That shouldn't be an issue, with or without Nolen.  I can see an 11 or 12 win season as a definite possibility, in which case the Gophers are set up for a 5 or so seed.  Perfectly placed for a first round loss to Old Dominion. 

2.  Texas Longhorns.  Quite the nice little run by the Longhorns, starting the week off with a ho-hum 21-point win over #10 ranked and previously 1-loss Texas A&M, and then followed that up by going into Allen Fieldhouse and beating undefeated and 2nd ranked Kansas by 11, ending the Jayhawks 69-game home winning streak.  I don't even think it's possible for a team to have a better week, and if you weren't totally sold on the Longhorns, and I wasn't, I don't think you can deny them any longer.  Jordan Hamilton has decided to become a stud, Tristan Thompson is a force, Gary Johnson plays a quality role, and Corey Joseph seems to be figuring it out.  They've got an outstanding inside/outside balance and could make a hell of a run in March.  Of course, Rick Barnes is still involved, so it wouldn't be shocking in the least to see them lose 10 straight and miss the tournament.  We'll see.

3.  Alabama Crimson Tide.  If you're going to make a run an your first NCAA tournament bid since 2006 you need to win some big games.  Which is exactly what Alabama did with their 2-point victory over #12 Kentucky, giving them a much needed resume boost.  They are just 11-7 overall, their losses to St. Peter's and Iowa are a bit tough to explain, and they have a pretty crappy strength of schedule so they still have a ton of work to do.  That was the last game on their schedule against a currently ranked team and they play in the crappy SEC West so a big run isn't out of the question.  They're 3-1 in conference now, so something like 12-4 isn't out of the question.  That would be enough to get them in, no doubt.  It would actually be pretty sweet to have them matched up against the Gophers, because I'd love to see a Mbakwe/JaMychal Green match-up.

4. Memphis Tigers.  There was a lot of preseason talk about whether this was the year Memphis finally lost it's stranglehold on Conference USA (at least on the rare occasions when anybody talked about C-USA) after winning it each year since 2006.  There was a lot of talk about Larry Eustacy's Southern Miss taking the crown, or maybe UTEP or UAB would finally take that next step up or perhaps Central Florida and their hot start signaled the changing times.  Well you can shut your whore mouth about all that, because Memphis beat both UAB and Southern Miss this week, both on the road, and are now tied with UTEP at the top of the standings.  Now, this Memphis team isn't anywhere near the class of Calipari's old teams, but for one week at least they made sure everybody knew they weren't done just yet.  That sentence was stupid and something a hack writer for SI.com would write.  My apologies.  Smelly pirate hooker.

5.  Jimmer Fredette.  I've avoided talking about him so far this year, mainly because everybody else is and whenever people like something I automatically hate it (see:  Brett Favre, Nickelback, or Olive Garden) but I can't ignore the elephant in the room any longer - he's really good and really mormon.  He scored 42 points on Saturday on the road at a pesky Colorado State team, giving him two 40+ games in his last three times out and is currently leading the country in scoring at 26.7 points per game.  He's also efficient, and his 48% shooting, including 41% from three, along with his 90% accuracy from the free throw stripe is a good reason why BYU is the 6th best team in the nation by offensive efficiency.  Are they an actually good team?  I'd say yes, probably, but let's wait to see what happens Wednesday against San Diego State.  I know the Jimmer is bad ass though.  Seriously, just watch this: 






WHO SUCKED

1.  Colorado Buffaloes.  Waah wah!  The DWG curse strikes again, and all the momentum and positivity and sleeper talk Colorado built up with their 3-0 start in Big 12 play has now come to a screeching halt after an epic crash and burn this week, losing both to Oklahoma and Nebraska, two of the worst teams in the Big 12 and both losses are resume killers.  The conference is strong enough where they'll have plenty of opportunities to get marquee wins and build their profile back up, but this is a pretty massive setback.  It would be like the Gophers losing to Michigan and Indiana, only if they didn't have those good wins from Puerto Rico.  My bad Colorado fans, you can blame this one on me.

2.  Gonzaga Bulldogs.  Another team who absolutely god awful week and made huge strides in tanking their at-large chances.  Gonzaga, whose overall record is now just 13-7, lost twice this week, to San Francisco and Santa Clara, both contenders in the West Coast Conference, but not the same kind of contender St. Mary's has been the last few years.  In short, the kind of teams that the Gonzagas of the past would just roll right over, but clearly this year's Zags aren't quite the same type of team.  Which is weird, because a nucleus of Steven Gray, Robert Sacre, and Elias Harris should be enough to carry them to a WCC title.  Clearly, all those other dorks I've never heard of must really, really suck.  Now, their strength of schedule was ridiculous and do have wins over Baylor, Oklahoma State, and Xavier so they'll still almost certainly get a bid, but this isn't he same kind of dangerous Gonzaga team, more like out in round 1.

3.  Kenny Boynton.  It didn't take long for me to find my most-hated player after Scottie Reynolds' graduation, so congratulations Kenny Boynton, a chucker of such epic proportions that he makes Chris Kingsbury cringe at his shot selection, Reynolds' himself chuckle at the volume of shots he puts up, and Al Nolen chuckle at his accuracy.  Boynton has shot the rock 121 times this year from beyond the arc, and has hit a whopping 30.6% (and that's after going 4-7 on Saturday), after shooting 29% last year.  This year is 81st in three-point attempts in the country, and out of those 81 players, only four have a worst shooting percentage than Boynton.  Not dissimilar to last year, when he was 28th in the country in 3-point attempts, and had the worst shooting percentage out of the top 100 attempters.  Seriously, you should watch this guy.  He's completely insane.

4. Northwestern Wildcats.  Did you freaking see that score yesterday?  I guess we can cross off "Can Northwestern make it's first NCAA Tournament" from the list of storylines for 2011.  You just can't lose at home by 32, especially to a good but not great Wisconsin team.  As it stands Northwestern's record is now 13-6, and although none of those losses classify as "bad" (margin of loss not a factor), their RPI is a dismal 69, their strength of schedule is horrendous at #122, and their best win right now is over Michigan - their only win over a top 100 RPI team.  It's just ugly, and it's exactly what they deserve for scheduling such a terrible non-conference slate in a year where they knew they were trying to make a run for an NCAA bid.  Terrible.  Just terrible.

5.  Central Florida Knights.  Hey, remember when UCF started out all hot and were 14-0 and beat Florida and Miami and everyone was "OMG Michael Jordan's kid is single-handedly making UCF into an awesome team" and nobody would ever shut up about it and it was just like John Madden/Brett Favre love-fest and everybody was giving out handjobs?  Remember that?  Well suck it, liberal media, because UCF sucks and Jordan's kid sucks, and you suck.  They're now 1-4 in C-USA after losing to East Carolina and Rice, two of the absolute worst teams in the conference, this week and your boyfriend Marcus Jordan was a combined 3-14 shooting in the two games and probably got his ass beat by his dad because of his losing.  So maybe we shouldn't all be so desperate to turn something into a cute little story when nothing has even happened yet.  And speaking of cute, there are lots of good pictures of UCF fans out there:

 

SEC College Basketball 2010 Preview

There are good looking women in the SEC.

SEC EAST

1.  Florida Gators.  I'm not a huge fan of their guards, because I think both Erving Walker and Kenny Boynton can get a little too out of control and both have a tendency to shoot shots that they shan't be shooting, but there is not denying their talent and the Gators have a stellar front court.  Chandler Parsons is a Mike Miller clone sans the bad hair and with a slightly worse jump shot (and he single-handedly won me my fantasy college hoops league last year) and Alex Tyus and Vernon Macklin are very good as long as you don't count free throws.  In a down year for the SEC, the Gators are clearly the class of either division.

2.  Kentucky Wildcats.  In what I'm going to assume is about to become a tradition until Calipari is arrested for money laundering, Kentucky lost an assload of good players to the NBA but is reloading with an assload of talent.  It's almost a perfect job of recruiting, actually, because these guys are not only talented but cover all five positions:  You have PG Brandon Knight (Rivals #6 overall), SG Doron Lamb (#21), SF Stacey Poole (#33), PF Terrence Jones (#13), and C Enes Kanter (#3 overall).  Of course, the biggest question is if Kanter will end up eligible, because they aren't particularly strong on the interior without him, but this year will be plenty athletic and is near-perfectly built for the dribble-drive offense Calipari loves.  I'd consider this #2 prediction their downside.  Well, the actual downside was it turns out Cal has been cheating (NO WAY) and they kick everybody off the team or something.  That would probably be worse.

3.  Georgia Bulldogs.  Georgia may very well be on their way back to relevance, believe it or not.  Travis Leslie is an absolute stud, and what Rodney Williams should aspire to become, and they have the league's leading returning scorer and rebounder in power forward Trey Thompkins.  These guys should be two of the best players in the conference, but what makes this team really interesting are a couple of newcomers:  freshman forward Marcus Thornton and point guard transfer from Tennessee State Gerald Robinson.  Thornton could be a great one, with both size and athleticism, and Robinson is the kind of scoring point guard (averaged 15 and 18 points per game in his two years at TSU) who can end up making or breaking a team.  I consider these guys a solid sleeper this year.

4.  Tennessee Volunteers.  I don't exactly know how Bruce Pearl being a huge cheater is going to affect this team, but they're a bit of an enigma already so this doesn't help with the rubix cube here.  I've seen them ranked anywhere from 2nd to 4th in various previews, and with three major contributors and starters gone (four if you want to count Tyler Smith) the second place predictions seems awfully optimistic to me.  I guess it really depends on how good you think freshman point guard Tobias Harris can be (Rivals #7), and how much of an improvement Cameron Tatum and/or Scottie Hopson can make.  I think those three will be pretty studly, but they're all perimeter guys and the Vols are going to be weak on the interior.  Plus I wouldn't surprised if Pearl is dismissed/suspended/whatever and this whole thing collapses.

5.  Vanderbilt Commodores.  If Northwestern is the nerds of midwest, and Stanford is the nerds of the west coast, then Vanderbilt is the nerds of the southeast.  And for nerds, they've had a pretty good run of success lately, making the NCAA Tournament three of the last four years with a sweet16 appearance thrown in.  This looking like it's going to be a down year, however, with two double-digit scorers (center A.J. Ogilvy and point guard Jermaine Beal) lost to graduation, but they've built the kind of program at this point where they'll be back soon enough.  Sophomore Jeffery Taylor is one of the most athletically gifted players in the conference and should blossom with an increased role on offense, and classmate John Jenkins is a three-point marksman who hit nearly 50% of his threes last year on his way to averaging double-digit points per game.  And they're probably all really smart, too.  NERDS!!!

6.  South Carolina Gamecocks.  Remember Devan Downey? He and his 22 points per game have graduated.  Along with Dominique Archie (who only played five games last year due to injury) and his 14.4 ppg, Mike Holmes (who only played in seven before being kicked off the team) and his 9.4, and Brandin Raley-Ross and his 10.6.  So yes, they're losing a lot.  They still have a decent enough inside/outside combo in Ramon Galloway and Sam Muldrow, but let's just say if they were an NBA Jam combo they'd never get picked outside of South Carolina.  Coach Darrin Horn loves to play an uptempo style, but with just Galloway and Lakeem Jackson back with significant back court experience, he'll be relying on newcomers and although it's a good class, that's not generally a sign of success.  This isn't Kentucky.


SEC WEST

1.  Mississippi State Bulldogs.  It sucks that Jarvis Varnado graduated, because that guy was as fun to watch as anybody so pardon me if I'm weeping like a fat girl at a prom with no cake while I type this, but the Bulldogs have enough coming back to win their division and make the tournament, mostly because the defied the odds and went 2-0 against the NCAA fascists this offseason.  Dee Bost, last year's #3 scorer at 13.2 ppg, declared for the NBA draft, then pulled his name out after the deadline, and instead of following it's own rules they are letting him back to play another year after sitting out the first handful of games.  He'll be joined on the suspended bench to start the year by PF Renardo Sidney, last year's #16 ranked freshman by Rivals who sat out of all of last season during an NCAA investigation into something or other, but he'll be playing after a nine game timeout.  Add these two to Ravern Johnson, their leading returning scorer, and Miss State should be dancing this year.  With a big thanks to the NCAA for actually being reasonable, not exactly their strong suit.  It's probably in recognition of how much it sucks to lose Varnado.

2.  Mississippi Rebels.  Chris Warren is back, again (he's apparently under the Jess Settles plan), but he loses his two back court buddies (Eniel Polynice and Terrico White) who combined to give the Rebels one of the best three-man back courts in the country amongst teams who didn't make the NCAA tournament last year.  He won't be alone back there, however, because Ole Miss will welcome one of the best names in the country to the program in point guard Dundrecous Nelson (#89 Rivals), as well as Nick Williams, a transfer from Indiana who averaged nearly double-digit points in his year with the Hoosiers.  If the Rebs can get some help in the front court they could finally bust through the bubble and make their first NCAA Tournament since 2002.  Gotta be sick of being predicted to be a tournament team only to end up in the NIT, no?

3.  Arkansas Razorbacks.  Mike Pelphrey continues to grab good recruiting classes, but at the same time there seems to be sort of an undercurrent that things might not be all rosy, or maybe that's just the Courtney  Fortson affect.  And speaking of Fortson, I think I'm pretty glad he never ended up a Gopher, because it seems he may have been just as good at killing his team as he was at helping it.  In any case, Pelphrey has this program humming like a good ole fashioned jug band drinkin' moonshine while prepping for a coon hunt.  And if that sounded racist against southerners, it probably was.  I've been to Arkansas.

4.  Alabama Crimson Tide.  Mikhail Torrance was an absolute stud for the Tide last year.  Unfortunately, he's gone.  Fortunately, however, they still JaMychal Green, who is a beast on the block, and swingman Tony Mitchell, who had a very good freshman year and should only get better.  They also have a hell of a freshman point guard coming in with Trevor Releford, who may be the most important cog.  According to something I read, Tide coach Anthony Grant wants to run an uptempo offense, but didn't have the point guard to do it and went slow down instead (their tempo ranked #247 last year), and the hope is that Releford is the guy who can be turned loose.  It might work, and there's talent here, I just don't think it's enough, even in the SEC West.

5.  LSU Tigers.  Every year I keep waiting for LSU to get back to relevance, but every year it seems they're still stuck down at the bottom of the division - and this year won't change that.  Storm Warren is a solid guard, but the other stand-out returner, forward Bo Spencer, peaced out from the program after being declared academically ineligible (at LSU?  LOL).  With that they are very young and I'm not even sure they know what all they have since Warren is the only returning player who averaged more than 4.6 points per game last year.  There is some talent, with SG Aaron Dotson a Rivals top 150 player last year and a good class this year with three more Rivals top 150 types, so they might be on their way back to relevance, just not yet.

6.  Auburn Tigers.  Things were already going to be tough with four starters graduating (including your top three scorers), but the news got worse when Frankie Sullivan, the lone returning starter, ended up needed ACL surgery that will likely keep him out all year and the Tigers' two top recruits, Luke Cothron (Rivals #45) and Shawn Kemp, Jr. (#105) were both ruled academically eligible for the year (Cothron has since fled to UMass).  This leaves Auburn with Earnest Ross as their top returnee, a sophomore guard who averaged 2.8 points and 3 rebounds in 13 minutes per game last year.  In other words it's going to be a long year.  At least it will be warm.

Week in Review - 12/7/2009

Well, that was an unimpressive Vikings performance.  Favre sucked, there was no running game, they refused to get any pressure on Kurt Warner, and as a result he carved them up like Portland against the Gophers.  I'm not inclined to make too big a deal out of it though.  They were pretty much due for a stinker, and it may even be a bit of a help in the "kick-in-the-ass" kind of way.  So it's alright.

The Gophers were good this weekend as well, but it was much like the exhibition games against UMD and Mankato or whoever else it was - the opponent was just too terrible to make any kind of real judgement.  Tuesday is Morgan State, which will likely be more of the same based on name alone (I will do a little research and maybe a preview if you are lucky), but Saturday will at least be a ok opponent in St. Joe's.  Not a good opponent, but ok.  The Gophers can't afford any stumbles, and will still have their work cut out for them in the conference season, but I am still cautiously optimistic. 

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Wisconsin.  It was tempting to put the whole Big Ten here for finally shedding the embarrassment of never winning the Big 10/ACC challenge, but then I remembered that Michigan and Minnesota both sucked and couldn't bring myself to do it.  Instead I have to praise the red menace, the most hated of hateds, the Roy to my Jim, the Mondego to my Dantes, the Crimson King to my Roland (actually that's a great description with the whole Crimson in the title) - the dirty Badgers.  And what ever happened to Jim Caviezel anyway?  I thought he was a great Dantes in the movie (which I saw in Ames, by the way - and it was better than the book, yeah, I said it) and he was also excellent in a little time-travel movie called Frequency (and had a nice supporting part in that army court movie with a still hot as hell Ashley Judd).  Then he was in a movie with J-Lo and played Jesus.  Those are both career killers, and he did both in a 3-year span and killed his career (to the best of my knowledge).  Whoops.  Oh, and anyway I guess Wisconsin had a good week and Trevon Hughes looks like Al Nolen with a jump shot, a three-point shot, and an ability to finish in the lane.  Whatever.  Redneck queers.

2.  Texas Tech.  First of, let me just say that I don't believe that Texas Tech is a good team this year.  Second of all, I don't think it much matters what I think, because they just keep winning.  They rolled through their super easy schedule to start the season, and were then matched up against Washington this week in the Pac 10/Big 12 Hardwood Challenge, in a game I expected Washington to win by 20.  Not so much.  Tech ended up beating the Huskies by seven in overtime after scoring a ridiculous 19 in the five minute extra period to run their record to 8-0.  Mike Singletary (not that one) and John Roberson are very good all-around players and give them a nice back court.  It seems this team is worth keeping an eye on.

3.  Alabama.  For the football, obviously, genius.  That was an absolutely brilliant game they put together against Florida, and although Teblow did choke a bit - particularly on that INT in the endzone - but make no mistake, the Tide played brilliantly.  I was most impressed by Greg McElroy, the Tide's quarterback, who may not be the most talented player out there but was definitely the most valuable on Saturday.  His stats are nice (12-18, 239yds, 1 TD, 10 rushing yards) but not eye-popping, but he made the throws when he needed too and, more importantly, the runs.  McElroy had two huge runs, one for a first down while the Tide were driving that saw him hopping down the sideline to pick up a big first down by mere inches, and the second was a nice run down to the 2-yard line on the game sealing drive - a run that had the announcers embarrassingly calling it "Tebow-esque."  And that's the best part of Alabama winning - no more Tebow.  Actually it's not so much him that bothers me - he is a very good college QB - it's the constant Teblowing of him by the media and his image and his holiness and his goodness and all that crap that bothers me.  I like my football players to be semi-literate thugs, thank you very much.

4.  Charlotte.  I don't believe the 49ers were really considered as an NCAA team this year, maybe on the fringe, but after a complete dismantling of Louisville - at Louisville - it's time to take a deeper look.  Charlotte beat the Cardinals 87-65 by holding them to 36% shooting, destroying them on the boards 46-35, and forcing someone named Mike Marra to take the most shots of any Cardinal player.  This win runs the 49ers record to 6-1, with only a loss to Duke in the negative column.  Outside of Louisville there isn't really a good win in those six (Hofstra would be the closest), but this team could be sneaky.  The have a nice inside/outside balance (of the top five scorers, 55% of the points come from the backcourt, 45% from the front court), take care of the basketball (35th in turnover percentage), and might have a legitimate star in Shamari Spears (19.7ppg, 5.8 rpg).  In a two week span at the end of the month/beginning of January, they play Old Dominion, Georgia Tech, and Tennessee, so pay attention to see if this team is a contender, or just a lucky team that caught Louisville on a bad day (*cough* last year's gophers *cough).    

4.  Jersey Shore.  This is the new show on MTV and I'm telling you, find it, record it, watch it, live it, love it.  Simply the greatest show I've ever seen.  It's basically the Real World, with eight strangers thrown together in a house they couldn't afford if they pooled their future lifetime earnings, but there's a delicious twist this season:  every one is a Guido or Guidette, and they are put right in Guido Heaven - the Jersey Shore.  The comedy is simply off the charts.  If you aren't sure what a Guido is, look at this:

And every single guy on the show is just like this guy (and the girls are basically female versions who, for reasons that are impossible to fathom, are attracted to guys like this).  What's even better, is these kind of people don't even realize the rest of the world is laughing at them, and all worship the exact same traits that 99.9% of the population can't stop pointing and laughing at.  If you've ever seen the True Life: I have a Summer Share episode, it's like that, but even better.

The breakout star is without a doubt Mike, who calls himself "The situation" and constantly refers to himself in the third person.  Such as, "Yo baby, you know you want to get with the situation."  Yes, it really is that awesome.  He's like Rickey Henderson crossed with the Gotti kids.  I love it.  This show gets my highest recommendation since "The King of Kong."  You know MTV is rerunning it constantly, so find it and watch it.  You'll be pleased.     


WHO SUCKED

1.  Ryan Fitzpatrick.  Good god, is there a curse of Jim Kelly now?  Or is it a curse of QB Bills?  That second one there makes more sense, so let's go with it.  The curse of QB Bills is out of control, and the latest poor victim who would otherwise have great skills is Fitzpatrick, who was 9-23 for a whopping 98 yards (and one INT) on Thursday (including just 31 yards to T.O., who I took a chance on starting in a must-win fantasy game).  Thanks, dick.  But it's not really his fault, it appears nobody can play QB in Buffalo anymore.  Here are the main QB rating scores since Kelly retired in 1996 (wow I am way old):  69.5, 87.4, 75.1, 82.2, 76.4, 86.0, 73.0, 76.6, 85.6, 84.9, 70.4, 85.4, and 74.1.  How bad is that?  I have no god damn clue.  Who the hell can make heads or tails out of that formula?  What I do know, is that T-Jax's career mark is 77.8, which means Buffalo's QB has only been better than T-Jax level six out of thirteen years.  The best a Buffalo QB has done since QB Bills retired was Flutie's 87.4 in 1998.  That's basically what Kyle Orton has done this year.  So the best Buffalo QB in the last 13 years was Kyle Orton.  Yoinks.

2.  Evan Turner.  Not so much for sucking, since he put up yet another ridiculous line earlier this week against Florida State (25-13-6), but for getting hurt and making a really fun team to watch a lot less fun.  In case you missed Turner went up for a dunk against Eastern Michigan on Saturday, got fouled, could quite catch his balance on the rim and fell, breaking his back.  No, seriously he broke his back.  Luckily it's not the paralyzed kind, but he is expected to be out for the next two months at a minimum.  What this really means is that William Buford and David Lighty are going to have to become stars instead of complimentary players, and if they pull it off and Turner comes back at full strength the Buckeyes are going to be awfully tough.  Of course, it's just as likely that the team collapses in on itself without it's do-everything guy.  I'm rooting for that second option right there. 

3.  The Pac 10.  I know this is at least the second and maybe the third time I've singled this conference out, but sheesh they are just awful.  Nobody in the conference can beat any decent competition.  This week Washington State lost to Gonzaga, Arizona lost to UNLV at home and got killed by a bad Oklahoma team, Cal lost to New Mexico, Washington lost to Texas Tech, UCLA didn't bother to put up a fight against Kansas at Pauley, Arizona State lost to Baylor at home, Oregon got crushed by Missouri, USC lost by 26 against Georgia Tech, Washington State got blown out by Kansas State.  The conference's record this week was 5-11, which included wins over CS-Bakersfield, CS-Northridge, and Arkansas-Pine Bluff, and this is a supposed top-six conference?  The best win any Pac-10 team has managed so far this season is either Arizona State's win over LSU or Cal's win over Iowa State - both about the equivalent of beating Penn State.  Wow.  Just ugly.  This might be the worst major conference in history.  They might end up being lucky to get two teams in the NCAA Tournament.

4.  Portland.  So much for them being at-large bid kind of team.  The Pilots got crushed by Idaho of all teams, and looked awful doing it.  The Vandals beat them 68-48, and held Portland to just 32% shooting.  Remember that damn midget T.J. Campbell who destroyed your beloved Gophers?  He shot 1-11 for the game and turned the ball over four times.  Remember Mr. Do-Everything Nik Raivio?  He shot 3-13.  How about Robin Smeulders, who you may remember destroying Iverson and Sampson?  He shot 1-6 and turned it over three times.  Seeing as how this team has already lost to CS-Northridge and Texas Southern, I'm going to go ahead and say this damn near kills Portland's shot at an at-large bid, barring a nearly undefeated run through the WCC, and certainly doesn't make the Gophers' loss look any better.  Thanks Pilots.  You couldn't have at least ended being a really good small conference team, could you?  And I just know noticed that they lost earlier in the week to Portland State as well.  So much for not having to worry about the Portland loss going down as a "bad loss."   

5.  NCAA Fascists.  You dicks.  You total dicks.  I get that you can't put someone like TCU or Boise State in the championship, not when you have an undefeated Alabama and an undefeated Texas.  Ok, fine.  I think TCU could hang with and possibly beat either team, but I get it.  What really sucks is that you are sending TCU to the Fiesta Bowl to play........BOISE STATE!  Come on, man!  We want to see these schools play some of the big boys and find out if it's true that non-BCS teams can't hang with the big boys, or if the Horned Frogs and Broncos are really every bit as good as the big time teams.  How can we find that out if you make them play each other, fascists?  But I'm guessing you know that, don't you?  You know that's what everybody want to find out, but if TCU beats Florida and/or Boise beats Georgia Tech, suddenly it's time to take the non-BCS teams seriously.  Apparently Utah beating Alabama last year wasn't quite enough, so you manage to completely sabatoge everything so the "BCS" conferences get to keep their stranglehold on the National Title.  Real god damn fair.

NCAA Basketball Preview: The SEC

I have no idea what happened to the SEC.  This used to be a really, really good conference, but seems to have slipped since the Florida back-to-back championship teams and is now pretty much the worst of the major conferences.  Things are looking to turn, however, as there are a couple of big-time contenders here now and the conference as a whole looks like it is getting a whole lot better.  I also hate that they split out their conference into East and West divisions.  Unnecessary and annoying.  In protest, I will be listing them as a whole, not breaking it down by division.  Take that Robert E. Lee!

1.  Kentucky.  Well I for one can't wait to see this John Wall character.  You can't read anything about Kentucky or even the NCAA basketball season as a whole without him being mentioned.  The comparison I see a lot is "a better Derrick Rose" which like, whoa.  He's on everybody's award winner predictions lists, anywhere from the SEC Player of the Year all the way up to National Player of the Year, and he hasn't played a minute yet.  There's plenty of talent around him, that's for sure.  Patrick Patterson is insanely good, and for some strange reason is still in college rather than the NBA, and that recruiting class Calipari paid to come to Lexington is out of this world.  Other than Wall, who is #1 on the Rivals 150, they also got PF DeMarcus Cousins (#2), C Daniel Orton (#22), PG Eric Bledsoe (#23) who I desperately wanted to become a Gopher, and G Jon Hood (#55).  Holy god.  The talent is there, anything less than a final four appearance is going to be a disappointment (this assumes the eligibility issues with Wall are resolved and he ends up playing.) 


2.  Mississippi State.  I love Jarvis Varnado.  Love him.  I had a chance to watch him in a game a couple of years ago as a sophomore, and fell in love with his defense - he averaged 4.7 blocks per game last year to lead the nation and, barring injury, will almost certainly become the all-time leader in blocked shots in NCAA history.  But it gets better.  After being a defensive force his first two seasons, before last year he worked on his offensive game, developed some low-post moves, and increased his scoring from 8ppg as a sophomore to 13 per game last year.  Even more, I read this offseason he's worked tirelessly on adding a mid-range jumper.  Based on his ability to improve year over year, I can't wait to see his new offensive game, and he could be gunning for All-American status.  All this from a guy who already has a triple-double in his career and several other near misses.  The Bulldogs are hurt a bit by recruit Renardo Sidney (Rivals #16) being ruled ineligible, but there is a lot here surrounding Varnado.  The Final Four might be aiming a bit too high, but you can expect MSU to be a major contender. 

3.  Tennessee.  Despite losing a bunch of players last year, the Vols were a bit of a disappointment last year, finishing up an uneven season with five losses by 3 points or less, including their loss to Oklahoma State in the NCAA Tournament.  The good news is that everybody is back, and they add two key pieces in PF Kenny Hall (Rivals #74) who will help shore up the inside game, and juco PG Melvin Goins (#62 Juco), who can help at point guard - a weakness last year, especially in SEC play.  Another issue that needs to be fixed is the three-point shot, once a huge weapon for Tennessee it proved to be an achilles' heel last year - the Vols shot just 31.5% behind the line, worst in the SEC and 286th in the country.  The hope is that sophomores Cameron Tatum and Scotty Hopson, now with a year of college hoops under their belts, can improve, and that might end up being the difference between an average team and a great team.


4.  Vanderbilt.  I've managed to pretty much completely avoid Vanderbilt for years, except for when Derrick Byars was there, that guy was a freakin' stud. I wonder what he's up to, hold on.  Let's see, bounced around a few different NBA teams without ever sticking, and ended up playing the last couple of seasons in Germany and France before hooking on with the Bakersfield Jam in the D-League last year.  He averaged 18 points per game for them and made the all-star team, was invited to Bulls training camp this year, made the team and is on the opening night roster.  Sweet.  Oh, and all the magazines and previews and everything say Vandy is going to be really good this year.  I do know they have a beast down low whose name I can't remember.

5.  Arkansas.  I've been following Courtney Fortson closely since the Gophers were after him, and I still can't decide if I wish he was here or not - even with the current PG situation.  On the one hand, his stats are amazing - 14.5 points/5.9 assists/5.5 rebounds - incredible for a 5-11 freshman, and he notched a triple-double in just his seventh ever game, and nearly had two more against Oklahoma and LSU, not exactly horrible teams.  On the other hand, his turnovers are wildly high (4.4 per game) including a game where he turned the ball over 10 times in 29 minutes, he's not a very good shooter (31% from three, 60% from the line), and he once went 7-27 from the floor in a game.  All in all, the dude is wildly talented, and assuming he reigns in his game and continues to improve with age, he's going to be a star - so yes, I do wish he was a Gopher.  There is plenty of other talent back, including three other double digit scorers, and a very good recruiting class, so the Razorbacks should be in the NCAA hunt.  Of course, after their huge nonconference wins over top ten teams Oklahoma and Texas last year we thought that too, before they inexplicably went 2-14 in the SEC.  Well, not that inexplicable.  They had more turnovers than assists last year.  That's not good, FYI.


6.  Ole Miss.  This team is loaded on the perimeter.  If you haven't had a chance to watch Chris Warren play, I highly recommend you look for them on tv.  Warren is a driving force and is nearly unstoppable with the ball, but he got hurt last year and only played in 11 games, dooming the Rebels to a season that ended after the SEC tournament.  That shouldn't happen this year, assuming nobody gets hurt.  With all the injuries last year, Terrico White was thurst into a starring role and he thrived, winning SEC Freshman of the Year honors.  Assuming they get decent play from the front court, these guys are going to put a ton of points on the board.  It's if they can stop anybody that's in question - they were the worst defensive team in the SEC last season.

7.  South Carolina.  It turns out this conference is even deeper than I thought, because the Gamecocks feel like a team that should be much higher than 7th in their conference.  Two of their three big guns are back, and guard Devan Downey has the look of a player who will contend for the SEC Player of the Year.  He can score (37 against Baylor last year), but also turns the ball over way too much (8 TOs to 0 assists in that same game and just a 1.3 Ast/TO ratio).  If he can control the ball it will go a long way towards getting South Carolina back in the NCAA tournament.  Also I can never, ever, like this team since they stole Georgia Tech's "Lethal Weapon 3" nickname, when it was obvious to anyone that they were just a bunch of gunners and a total mirage - a belief completely vindicated when they went down as a #2 seed.  Karma, baby.  Karma.


8.  Florida.  I suppose losing your whole team after back-to-back national championships usually entails a rebuilding process, but it seems that it's not going all that well for the Gators.  Not that it's Billy Donovan's fault, since he's been hit by players leaving the program early the past couple seasons (Speights, Calathes, Lucas).  Even so, it doesn't feel quite right having Florida this low, and it wouldn't surprise me at all to see them in the NCAA tournament, especially if Kenny Boynton (Rivals #12) is as good as advertised.  He will pretty much have to be, because although Florida has some nice talent in their frontcourt - including transfer Vernon Macklin from Georgetown - the backcourt really needs some help.  Outside of Boynton, point man Erving Walker, who had a pretty good freshman year last season, is about all they have.

9.  Alabama.  I'm sort of thinking I have Alabama too low here, they could easily finish as high as fifth, but since I've already typed this out and the control key on my keyboard doesn't work, I don't feel like cutting and pasting.  Although he's not the team's leading returning scorer, sophomore JaMychal Green might be the key for the Tide this season.  He was a stud recruit last season (Rivals #21), and had a very good freshman campaign (10pts, 8 rebs, 2 blks per game), which included six double-doubles.  If he continues to improve and can become the offensive focal point it will go a long way towards a good season for the Tide.  Among a big and talented group of newcomers is Shawn Kemp, one of I assume several sons of THAT Shawn Kemp, one of my favorite NBA players of all-time.  (NOTE:  I am finding conflicting information, some sources say he is signed with Alabama, others say he has reopened his recruitment which seems weird since the season starts in like two weeks so I don't know what is going on except that there has been a hole in my soul since Kemp retired and it would be nice to have another Shawn Kemp to take his place). 

10.  LSU.  The Tigers had an excellent season last year, making it to the second round of the NCAA tournament, but the team has been gutted by graduation, and now they will return just two guys who averaged more than 2 points or 8 minutes per game last year.  Those two are pretty good - Bo Spencer is an excellent shooter and Tasmin Mitchell is absolutely one of the best inside/outside players in the country and will be in the NBA next season - but there isn't much else here.  A small recruiting class leaves the Tigers thin and inexperienced, and although Mitchell will be fun to watch, I don't see a whole lot else fun happening in the bayou this season.  They'll be back at the top soon enough - next year's recruiting class is a top 20 type of class already - but not this year.


11.  Auburn.  Remember last year, how Auburn won 10 conference games but still couldn't get an NCAA tournament bid because they went 10-4 through a non-conference schedule that would make Glen Mason blush?  Yeah, most of the good players from that team are gone.  Their leading scorer and assist man is back in DeWayne Reed, and he'll have a couple of guys to dish to on the wing who love to bomb the long ball in Tay Waller and Frankie Sullivan, but looking down low is going to be an issue.  Coach Jeff Lebo brings in a gaggle of 3-star players, three of them with good size, and will need one of them to play well or have one of the nondescript veterans step up.  They are still set up as a team that could get hot on the right night and knock off a much better team thanks to their shooters, but they aren't getting anywhere near the NCAA tournament.

12.  Georgia.  How bad is it for the Bulldogs right now?  CollegeHoops.Net does a preview of their top 144 teams every year, and this year Georgia failed to make the list [Gophers = #18].  Teams on the list include Texas A&M-Corpus Christi, Jackson State, South Carolina State, and Iowa.  They're worse than Iowa - ouch.  Two minor reasons for optimism - new coach Mark Fox, who had a lot of success at Nevada, and sophomore forward Trey Thompkins, a top 30 recurit last year who had an excellent first year for the Dawgs.  My new favorite player though might be their center Albert Jackson, who played more than 19 minutes per game last year despite his incredible 1-to-5.2 assist to turnover ratio, thanks to his season total of eleven.  The next Yinka Dare, perhaps?



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