Monday Mumblings

Of course the big news today is Joe Mauer winning the MVP, and it nearly being unanimous.  I'm just curious about the guy who voted for Miguel Cabrera instead.  It seemed the consensus #2 candidate was Mark Texeira, not Miguel Cabrera.  But let's look:

Cabrera:  .324/.396/.547, 34 HRs, 104 RBI
Texeira:  ..292/.383/.565, 39 HRs, 122 RBI

Pretty close, right?  But by voting for Cabrera, this dude is saying he values things like average and on-base percentage over home runs and rbis, which is actually pretty refreshing.  But at the same time it's completely bizarre, because Mauer beat everybody in those stats.

If some ass clown had voted for Tex based on home runs and RBI, it wouldn't have surprised me one bit, as wrong as it would have been.  I was actually expecting Jeter to end up with a 1st place vote as well, since people are morons who want to make out with him all the time, but Cabrera?  You can't even use the "playoffs" argument since the Twins did that miracle comeback thing to steal the playoff spot.  I can't come up with any conceivable argument, and I've looked at this in every stupid way possible, to vote for Cabrera.  Boggled.

Lastly on MVP, I haven't been able to find the the actual full breakdown of the votes/points, but according to ESPN's "Others receiving votes" section, both Mike Cuddyer and Jason Kubel received votes.  There's not way that a hot 1-month stretch out of Cuddy would vault him ahead of the season-long excellence Kubel showed, right?  RIGHT?  Someone tell me when you find the voting breakdown.

-  Sticking with the Twins for a minute, Shooter had this little ditty in his "column" today:

It wouldn't be surprising if the Twins tried to make a deal with the San Diego Padres for third baseman Kevin Kouzmanoff, 28, who in 141 games last season batted .255 but hit 18 homers with 88 runs batted in. Starter Glen Perkins would seem to be the bait.

 Now, it's Charley Walters here, so I'm guessing this is more him taking a name that was bandied about last year and tossing a rumor at it, but it's worth a short look at because Kouzmanoff's name seems to keep coming up.

Walters, of course, hits on average, home runs, and rbi, the relevant stats if this was 1988, but since we are no longer in the dark ages, let's look further. 

The Kouz hit .255/.302/.420 this year, and was about an average fielder range wise, although is .990 fielding percentage was obviously outstanding, and a major league record.  Those aren't great numbers, but I don't much care for Glen Perkins anymore, so I'd be willing to do that deal depending on Kouzmanoff's contract.

Which brings me to the real problem - I can't for the life of me find any details of his contract, and one site actually says he's a free agent.  Now, would it shock me if he was actually a free agent and Walters had no idea?  No, it would surprise me one bit. But I won't assume that, as much as I want to, and for now I will just say that pending his contract, I would be interested in a Perkins for Kouz swap.  If he's going to cost $5 million or less, I want him.  And if he's on the open market, and I don't think the Pads would resign him since they have prospect Chase Headley coming up to play 3b, I be willing to pay more like $6-$7, as long as it's just for two years or so - enough time for Valencia to properly marinate.

Thanks to intrepid reader Kate J. for the tip.

-  Hey, you guys remember how I told you Cincinnati would be all awesome this year, and how you should have watched them today in the Maui Classic?  Well, they rolled a pretty good Vandy team (ranked #24 with a win already over St. Mary's) 67-58, and believe me the game wasn't nearly that close.  I really hope you got in on the Bearcats when they were 200-1 to win the National Title, because that number is going to go way, way, way down.  Might as well jump on it now before it gets to like, 10-1 before the tournament starts.

-  Since we're talking about things I watched tonight, I also want to mention that although I hate Pitt, and I loathe them, and specifically Pitt point guards - from Brandin Knight to Carl Krauser to LeVance Fields, hate them all - but I think I might really like this kid Travon Woodall, and I'm kind of wishing I had picked him in my fantasy league (last four picks:  Ralph Sampson, Courtney Fortson, Mikhail Torrance, Jon Leuer - I feel dirty).  He's a sophomore, and although he wasn't a highly ranked recruit when he came out, and didn't make much of an impact last year, he's killing it this year.  Coming into tonight, he was averaging just 7.7 points per game, but added in 7.7 assists and 3.7 rebounds, and then tonight against Wichita put up 19 points, 6 boards, 5 assists, and 4 steals and just seems to be moving at a whole different speed than everybody else out there - almost Rico Tucker like.  Well, I like him.  And I'm actually giving him his own tag.  Yeah, that's right.  With luck I can grab him next round (only 3 left!)

-  This Lewis Jackson injury is going to be a big deal, mark my words.  It makes me a bit nervous that Boiled Sports seems to disagree with me, since they cover Purdue hoops and my opinions are basically of the "JaJuan gives me a boner" type, but they seem to be pretty split on this one over there.  Of course, as seen by the post above and my continued Rico Tucker love, I seem to have a real affinity towards lightning quick, slightly out-of-control point guards.  I know I'll miss him at least.

-  The television program "The Big Bang Theory" is simultaneously the most underrated and overrated show on TV. 


-  Finally, since I'm keeping this short tonight, I'll close with an email from studly reader Stan N.:

Minnesota Golden Gophers--what a ridiculous mascot. Maybe Minnesota Golden Mosquitos would be more appropriate. There's plenty of them in Minnesota too, and a mosquito is more intimidating than a gopher--at least they get more attention. When you're facing Wolverines, Badgers, Wildcats, Hawk(eye)s, etc. what can a Gopher do? I guess their record speaks for itself. Although I'm a Minnesota alumni and support its sports teams, I can't support Goldy the Gopher. I wish we could impeach Goldy and substitute a Timberwolf(I guess that's already taken), a Lumberjack or anything else that would command respect.

I'm not entirely certain about a Lumberjack, since that seems pretty gay, but I'm pretty on board with this.  Any chance we can get rid of Goldy altogether?  Snacks and Bogart, you are both lawyers, can we file a class-action or something?

World Series Game 2 Live Blog

Picking this one up in the bottom of the second with the Phils leading 1-0 and Pedro looking very, very good - four batters, four outs, three by strikeout, and if the Phillies can manage to steal this one, I'd be the happiest little girl in Switzerland, with my pretty hair all in braids while I drink my hot chocolate and pet a Saint Bernard. 

-  Ibanez with a nice diving catch that maybe saved a run, or at least a hit.  What's he doing out in left field?  He should be DHing.  Unless they put my boy Matty Stairs at DH?  Please let this be true.

-  And now we get Jerry Hairston, Jr. instead of Nick Swisher.  Hmmm, le'ts see.  Swisher OPS = .869, Jerry Hairston, Jr. = .710.  For you uniformed cretins out there, that's the difference between Jason Kubel and Orlando Cabrera.  I'm not sure I make that switch, assuming similar defense, under any circumstances.  Of course, Hairston is a light-hitting player who can play multiple positions well.  Gardy would start him at bat him second.

-  Burnett with a lot of movement on his ball tonight, so much so that Jimmy Rollins just missed a breaking ball by about a foot - and I'm not exaggerating.  Must be because he has his fancy personal catcher, a catcher by the way who OPSed  .560 this year, which is somewhere between Mike Redmond and Alexi Casilla, and even worse than Nick Punto.  He's been benched for  Jorge Posada, who OPSed .885, which is slightly better than Justin Morneau.  So the Yankees have torpedoed their offensive two ways, one because of a completely overreatction and one because of a big crybaby of a pitcher.  Nice job.  By the way, Posada and Molina both threw out 28% of attempted base stealers.  Nice job A.J.

-  Wow.  Walking Utley to face Howard?  Wow.

-  Well, he whiffed him.  Point Girardi.  Still think the Molina and Hairston moves are balls stupid.

-  Pedro walks Molina.  Nice job you jackass dominican or puerto rican or cuban or whatever.  This sets it up for Jeter to be "a yankee legend."  Or strikeout like the probably gay douchebag he is, hahahahahahahahahaha.  Suck it, jeter.

-  I want you people to stop for a minute and realize just how good Pedro Martinez was in his prime.  Because I'm trying to watch the game online I don't really have time to do a ton of digging, so we're just going to use ERA to analyze him.  More specifically, ERA+ which basically compares your ERA with the league average ERA in that season and gives you a numerical number, with 100 = league average.  Well Pedro has the #1 ERA+ of all-time (since 1900) in 2000 when his ERA was 1.74 (league average was4.92).  He is also #8 on that list.  And #16.  And #25.  And #31.  You know how good Zack Greinke was compared to the rest of the league this year?  He was #30.  Nobody else has three top 16 seasons.  Only Walter Johnson also has four top-25 seasons, and nobody else has five top 31 seasons.  Needless to say, he is the all-time career leader in that stat amongst starting pitchers (Mariano is the all-time leader).  Make no mistake, this guy was absolutely, unfathomably, incredibly, untouchably awesome. 

-  And while I was typing that Texeira homered to tie the game.  That only cost the Yankees $500,000 ($20,000,000 / 40 homers).  Good lord.

-  Oh, I forgot to mention, I looked it up and indeed Matt Stairs is the Phillies' DH.  Not only that, but he has the Phils' one RBI tonight.  That guy is so freaking awesome.  I love that big crazy goofball.

-  Do you watch The Office.  Man, that was the best show for every year up until this year.  Suddenly it seems they have no idea what they are doing with the characters or where they are going with any of the storylines.  It still has it's moments, and it still has some really, really good episdoes (the wedding episode was awesome), but I'm just not sure what's going on here.  Actually, The Office is really similar to Tubby's 2010 recruiting class so far.  Kind of unimpressive, a let down from previous years, but still time to turn it around/show how I'm wrong and I completely trust the people in charge.  Holy crap that's brilliant.  I feel like Samuel Taylor Coleridge over here.

-  We're watching Vampire Diaries right now.  Well, the wife is.  I'm watching the Phillies continue to look like fools against Burnett.  Anyway, it's pretty much just like Dawson's Creek with Vampires and is nowhere near as good as True Blood, but it has the third hottest black chick I've ever seen, a grown-up and hot Maureen from Freaks and Geeks, and this hot chick named Nina Dobrev who was also in the criminally underrated movie "Never Cry Werewolf" starring Hercules.  That was a lot of words so just shush and look at her:

-  Well, Matsui just hit a weak pop fly to right field, but because this new Yankee Stadium is an absolute joke (think Sandlot in Dusty Diamond All-Star Softball), it somehow managed to clear the fence.  Seriously, Pedro pitches a hell of a game, but now he's trailing because of that garbage?  Shouldn't there be some kind of rules in place to prevent people from building these monuments to subpar power hitters?  G.  A.  Y.

-  Ibanez has almost an identical stance to Jim Eisenrich.  And just got called out on a pitch that was both low and outside.  I was waiting for the pro-Yankee umpiring to show up.  Freakin' conspiracy man.  Like the moon landing.

-  Jesus this guy just called Stairs out on the same pitch.  That pitch is nowhere near a strike.  Might as well turn this game off right now, it's clear that MLB doesn't want the Yanks down 2-0.

-  So I stumbled across a reference to a movie called "Tyrannosaurus Rex" coming out in 2013.  Immediately you could have called me Hugh G. Rection.  I was very excited, is what I'm trying to say, aroused even, if you will.  Then I read the synopsis.  It's about a boxer who gets caught up in an underground fighting ring.  Shouldn't people be arrested for that shit?  And not only for misleading me so horribly, but you know this movie is going to star Cam Gigandet.

-  Back to back Yankee singles (including one by Hairston, dammit).  That will do it for Pedro.  Hell of a game.  And they are going to Chan Ho Park.  I'm going to assume they're writing this one off and are happy to go back to Philly with a split.

-  Park had a 4.43 ERA and a 1.40 WHIP.  There have to be better options.  Also, who knew that asians could grow full beards?  Other than Genghis Khan and that cult leader from Japan guy who tried to use Sarin Gas in the subway.  Wait.  So Park is a supervillian?  Makes sense, since he just gave up a hit and another run.  Totally worth it since "Mr Intangibles and Mr. Yankee and total clutch performer who can do anything" just failed to get down a sac bunt and struck out.  Suck it, Jeter.

-  Double play after Howard catches the ball in the air or doesn't or something.  Honestly I couldn't even tell on several replays if he caught that or not.  Then again, I'm a little drunk. 

-  I know I'm talking about TV alot today, but shut up it's my blog.  Get your own if you don't like.  Anyway my point here is that I stopped watching Heroes.  The first season is still one of the best seasons of all-time of any show, for serious, but it has totally lost it's way.  Not only has the writing petered off and become it's own little SyFy original movie script, but they can't kill anybody off.  They have killed like, ten people on that show, only to have each and every one of them (somtimes multiple times each) come back to life, not really be dead, or basically find some back way to get them back on the show.  That's all fine and dandy for a kids show, where you can't expect children to deal with death and all that jazz, but this is ridiculous for an adult show, and specifically a science fiction show.  Even Vampire Diaries just killed off a major character with a stake through her hot boob. I just can't do it.  I'm out.

-  Phils down two and will now have to face Chamberlain and Rivera.  Not lookin' good here.

-  Whoops, nevermind, we're going with Mariano for two here.  I don't know if I agree or disagree in this situaton, but mostly because the Twins have never had a manager who can think outside of the "closer for the ninth" box, despite the fact that Captian Dumbshit

-  A huge walk to Rollins in an 11-pitch at bat and a single by Victorino passed "gold-glover" Texeira and we're in business.

-  Shit.  Utley grounds into a double play, mostly the umpire called anything within a foot of the plate a strike so he had to hack around.  Seriously, this is some of the worst balls and strikin' I've seen in a while.  Also, thanks for cutting to a replay of Jeter pumping his fist as you go to commercial, Fox.  Lord knows we don't see/hear/read enough about him already.

-  Mrs. W just asked me who was winning the game and when I said the Yankees she made a very nice noise of disgust.  So at least I got that going for me.

-  Ibanez doubles in the bottom of the ninth with two outs.  It's now up to Matty Stairs.  I think I'm in heaven.

-  Nevermind, he strikes out.  That wasn't very exciting.  Oh well, a split is what you had to hope for.  The Phillies are in pretty good shape, and Yankee fans are all douchebags, and don't let Ashley Tisdale tell you differently.