Thursday, November 1, 2012

NBA Southeast Division Preview

Johnson was replaced
with Korver, Lou and Morrow
T.I. and Drake weep

Guest Haiku from @Frothygopher:
Oh boring Hawks team
Y U no more exciting?
I'll skip all your games

The Hawks off-season seems to me like they are treading water at best.  Joe Johnson, who was overpaid is out, but a glut of shooters come in to replace him.  Lou Williams is a quality player, especially as an igniter off the bench, but the team will lean really heavily on Josh Smith and Al Horford.  For me, Smith is the only reason to watch this team as he's one of the more exciting on both ends of the floor.

Starting Unit:
PG Jeff Teague/Devin Harris
SG Anthony Morrow/Lou Williams
SF Kyle Korver
PF Josh Smith
C  Al Horford

O/U is 43.5, I'll take the under.

One for that guys and the gals!

Lebron James gets ring
D-Howard is new league clown
Ray Allen's mom, hi!

From Frothygopher:
Erik Spoelstra
It does rhyme with olestra
Both make me poop grease

Starting Unit:
PG Mario Chalmers
SG Dwayne Wade
SF Shane Battier
PF Lebron James
C Chris Bosh

This is basically the same team that won it all plus Ray Allen.  I mean, wtf?  Chalmers and Norris Cole are a both going to be better this year.  Mike Miller, Rashard Lewis and James Jones are ready on the bench for 3 chucking duties.  Plus, they still have the best player in the game and another in the top 5.  What's underrated about the Heat is how well they play team defense.  They're not exactly loaded with bigs as Bosh is undersized at center as are Joel Anthony and Udonis Haslem, but the hustle of James and Wade and the rest of the wings help to cover this weakness.

The o/u is 60.5 and if I have to take something, it's the over.  This is a 60 win team easy unless major injuries strike.

Lady Cats!

Best way to get fans
for these poor, crappy Bobcats
is nude cheerleaders

22, 24, 19, 23, 20.  No, it's not the combination to my safe.  I'm broke, guys.  Rather, these are the ages of the starting lineup for your Charlotte Bobcats.  Kemba Walker was better than I expected in his rookie year and I think has a bit of room to grow in his effort to develop into a true PG.  Gerald Henderson is an ok scorer at SG, but to date has done much else.  On a good team he'd be a rotation guy off of the bench, but here he has opportunity to improve.  Michael Kidd-Gilchrist is the #2 overall pick.  He's extremely athletic and already a pretty good defender, his offensive game beyond dunking and slashing to the hoop could use some work, but he's 19.  Byron Mullens showed some signs of becoming a bit of a stretch 4 last season and even more so in the pre-season.  He'll chuck it a bunch if they let him.  Bismack Biyombo is the ultimate project at center.  He's constantly in foul trouble, but is powerful, physical and has a wingspan like a jumbo jet despite only being 6'9". Ben Gordon, Ramon Sessions and Brendan Haywood add some quality veteran depth. 

The Cats only won 7 measly games last season and their o/u is 18.5 for this year.  Betting on some growth for the young folk and an improved veteran presence I'll go over.

One of these things is not like the others.
I'm leaving, no wait
Staying; nope, time to move on
I'm back, no I'm gone

Orlando continued it's role as the minor league big man system for the Lakers this off-season by trading Dwight Howard to the Lake Show.  It's not their fault though as Howard held the team hostage for what feels like two years.  I'm too lazy to look it up.  Orlando got a crazy cluster of stuff in the deal, none of it great, but much of it useful.  Aaron Afflalo came from Denver and is a quality player on both ends of the floor.  Nikola Vucevic is a young center out of USC that came from Philly in the deal and will get a chance to start.  They received the #15 pick from this year's draft, Moe Harkless.  He's a young player that I like, but has a lot of growing to do before he can earn minutes.  They also received 5 future picks, a second in '13, a conditional first in '14, a first (conditional) and second in '15 and finally a conditional first in '17.  They also have a $17.8MM exception that they can use to take on contract in a trade if they can swing one.

Starting Unit:
PG Jameer Nelson
SG Aaron Afflalo
SF Hedo Turkeyglue
PF Glen Davis
C  Nikola Vucevic

O/U 23.5, I'm going for the tank under here.

S&M Wizards girls?
Wizards' name is suck
The team kind of blows as well
Wish you were Bullets

Remember when Jan Vesely was picked and then made out with his hot girlfriend and then never did a damn thing last year?  Hopefully, #3 pick Bradley Beal can do better than that this year as they need some help beyond John Wall.  Poor John is also dealing with an injury and could be out until late November, early December.  Beal is just 19, but has a pretty high upside at shooting guard.  The Wiz need him to be a star.  Okafor and Nene are two solid bigs that are overpaid, but useful.  They make $27MM this year between them. 

Starting Unit:
PG John Wall +
SG Jordan Crawford
SF Trevor Ariza
PF Trevor Booker
C  Emeka Okafor

The Wizards o/u is 27.5 wins.  I'll take the under and another roll of the dice in the lottery.

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