Monday, November 7, 2011

Shane Schilling's brother is the biggest baby ever

Honest to god, I've never seen a player whine and cry to the refs as much as Cody Schilling with the possible exceptions of Tim Duncan, Kobe Bryant, and Bogart in intramurals (also "Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen).  I mean it was just sad.  Even on shots where he was clearly not touched he would toss his arms in the air like, "Dude wtf?"  I bet when he plays pick-up he's that guy who calls every ticky-tack foul and then gets jumped in the parking lot after the game because everybody is sick of him.  My favorite moment, however, was when the defense got all switched up and he ended up with Ralph Sampson guarding him and he waved everyone away like, "I got this" for an isolation play and then jacked up a three.  What a douche.

As I said after the last exhibition game I'm not going to pay too much attention to team stuff here because it's just impossible to get a read.  It was clear Tubby wanted to work on some things that didn't exactly help the team in the micro, game sense such as avoiding getting the ball to Mbakwe in the first half (it was clear they weren't making any effort to get him the ball, which I assume was coach dictated or at least I freaking hope so) and switching into a zone defense when it was clear that the only thing Augustana could do at all was shoot from the outside and they had no inside presence.  And, once again, the competition was just not there.  The only reason this wasn't a complete blowout was because Drae Murray put on an exhibition in red-hot shooting in the first half which was just fun as hell to watch.  But 5-6 point guards aren't built to score against Big 10 teams, and so that's what happened. 

Instead, once again, I'll just focus on a couple of thoughts on some of the players that I noticed (that is a terrible sentence) but I'm going to have to keep this short because it's late, I'm tired, and it's extra late because I got lost driving home tonight.  Less than 2 miles from my house.  Don't ask.

TREVOR MBAKWE:  As I mentioned they pretty much avoided him in the first half, but in the second half it became clear that he was basically unstoppable which makes since I'm pretty sure he could have bench pressed any one of their players a dozen times.  None of that really matters, obviously, but if you're looking for a positive look at his free throw shooting.  He said he'd improve it and he did, going 12-13 tonight and showing a really nice high arching shot with excellent touch.  He's going to get fouled a ton and if he can shoot 75% or so?  He's going to put up some monster numbers.

RALPH SAMPSON:  Ok so when the gameplan in the first half is clearly to pound the ball to Ralphy and then he sucks donkey balls that's not good.  It's double not good when he's taller, more athletic, and far blacker than anybody who is trying to guard him, but Ralph ended up with more turnovers (7) than points (4) and shot 1-5 against a bunch of nobodies.  One of the most pathetic things I've ever seen, and I'd be far more upset about it if I wasn't so accustomed to it.  Ralph is the keystone guy this year that will decide how good this team is.  I'm not liking their chances.

RODNEY WILLIAMS:  Ended up with 10 points but they all happened because he ended up just accidentally scoring because he was 300x more athletic than anybody Augustana had.  The were effortless baskets which makes sense since Rodney seems to be all like meh with regards to effort on the offensive end.  You're probably going to hear about what a great defensive job he did on Schilling too, who was 6-21 shooting (lol), but keep in mind he was guarding a slow white kid whose only d-1 offer coming out of high school was from Green Bay.  I do think Williams has the potential to be a defensive stopper, but I think we should maybe not crown him just yet.  Twice tonight had the baseline for a drive and didn't even make the effort.  Pretty sure I'm done here.

AUSTIN HOLLINS:  More likely to end up this team's defensive ace simply because he's already the team's best perimeter defender, Hollins also knocked down a couple of threes that really got the team going in the second half.  Then he missed one and got sad and embarrassed and didn't shoot again the rest of the game.

ANDRE HOLLINS:  A bit of a rough game for Lionel's kid, which is to be expected for a freshman point guard even against a team like Augustana.  There was, however, once possession where he took the ball into the lane and just took it right at three defenders, completely fearlessly.  I wouldn't recommend that approach on every possession, but it was a good look at the kind of player he is, and really reminded me quite a bit of Russell Westbrook which is definitely a good thing.  It did not remind me of Lawrence Westbrook, but that's because I like Andre a lot and now that I think about it that's exactly what L-Dub would do.  Moving along quickly.

JOE COLEMAN:  I didn't notice Coleman being a terrible off-the-ball defender tonight and that's a considerable improvement from the last game.  I didn't notice him much at all actually, but I have a renewed faith in him that he'll be good some day.  Well, goodish.

CHIP ARMELIN:  This is the Chip Armelin (new nickname:  Heat Check) I'm in love with.  Came in the game, put up 4 shots in about 3 minutes, made 3 of them, and gave the offense the boost it needed.  The last couple of shots were probably ill advised, but that's what makes Heat Check, Heat Check.  Of course Tubby seemingly was less charmed by this than I was because after his last shot (and his only miss) Heat Check sat out the rest of the first half and then played about 40 seconds in the second half.  I'm pretty sure Tubby hates fun.

JULIAN WELCH:  Slow slow slow slow.  Snacks had the point tonight that maybe he's the kind of guy who just looks slow but it's because he's always in control (like Evan Turner) but then I saw him get blown by twice by Augustana's guards.  I know expectations/hope runs high for him, but let's not forget he came from UC-Davis, and I don't think this is a case of all the big schools just missing on him.  Temper expectations.

MAVERICK AHANMISI:  For the second consecutive game I can't tell you one thing he did or didn't do, good or bad, tonight.  And for the second consecutive game I consider this a bad thing.

ANDRE INGRAM:  I don't know why but I like this guy.  Sure, he had a play tonight where he nearly broke the backboard on a missed lay-up, but I like to think he's just showing initiative.  Since Shaq/Jerome Lane made them re-engineer the backboards you can break them by dunking anymore (unless you're Tiny Gallon) and so he's just trying to see if he can break one by throwing the ball hard at it.  He's like a freaking scientist.  Recognize.

OTO OSENIEKS:  Hit a 3-pointer, and hit it like a mofo, but also passed up a couple of opportunities to shoot that he, and any true "shooter" should have taken.   Then again, I'm probably expecting too much of him because I'm used to Blake and I always fall for shooters.  On the other hand, that hair.

ELLIOTT ELIASON:  I just...I don't care.  Wake me up in 2 years when he might be more than 5 fouls and an accidental rebound or two.  I will say his entertainment factor is through the roof considering I heard him yelling "dead dead dead dead" as loud as he could in the first game after his man picked up his dribble.  Epic.


Done.  These first two games were like watching a puppy who just learned about fish.  Friday we find out if that dog can track sasquatch in the rain.  Bucknell is no joke.  I'm planning on writing a preview of the game so there's at least a 60% chance that actually happens.  You should keep checking all week.  How exciting.

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey douche bag, Shane Schilling doesn't have a brother named Cody.

WWWWWW said...

I saw him play that night, so I'd say you're wrong.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you did. But he's not Shane Schillings brother. Get your facts straight.

WWWWWW said...

Good one, nerd. Maybe you need to read up a little bit.

Anonymous said...

Really? I love how ignorant you are. Shane is in my family and Cody is not. Never heard of him. But yeah youre right. You can tell US who we're related to. That's fine. This is hilarious to us. The title of your so called article is grounds for a lawsuit. But since your "facts" are in order I guess you have nothing to worry about.

Loretta8 said...

Dear relative of Shane Schilling,

If you would like to sue W, I'm happy to represent you.

Yours,

Mark Loretta8, Esquire

WWWWWW said...

So you're trying to tell me that Cody wasn't there at your Easter celebration? Has he been excommunicated from the family now or what? If they didn't boot out Shane I can't imagine what Cody must have done.

Anonymous said...

You are a FUCKING idiot. CODY AND SHANE ARE NOT RELATED! Where in the fuck do you get your info? The same last name automatically means they're related? Just keep writing your bullshit blog that no one cares about. Obviously you're sticking to your story and publishing false information on the internet. Good luck to you. You'll need it. This wont play out in your favor douche bag. Done arguing with such an arrogant piece of shit. You were told the facts and you want to continue thinking you're right. Please do but let me ask you this, if Cody WAS in our family don't you think we'd have SOMETHING to say about the shit you said ABOUT HIM instead of just simply trying to tell you that he's not related to Shane and DEFINITELY isn't his brother? Keep talking shit. We'll be laughing all the way to the bank!

WWWWWW said...

I'm going to counter sue you for both libel and slander. The insults you are writing about me are both false and insulting, not to mention not very clever. Hope you enjoy paying for my dinner at Sizzler after my crack legal team is done with you.

R. Rosenbaum said...

Yeah, if you are going to post about Shane Schilling, you at least need to make it accurate. For example, if you said something like Shane Schilling is a convicted felon who has been known to use drugs, steal cars, threaten police and assault people, you would be saying something accurate about him that would not get you sued by his family

Anonymous said...

Ha! That's hilarious coming from someone who spends his free time bashing people! What's insulting is you. Like I said, Cody is in no way related to Shane. Think, say and write what you want. Just builds a stronger case for us.

friend of the family said...

Dear blogger,

I went to school with the Schilling's and I know for a fact that they do not have a brother named Cody.

You should get the facts before you post a blog.

Anonymous said...

Thank you! At least someone knows what they're talking about!

Frank Schilling said...

Of all the internet articles chronicling Shane's deviant behavior you decide to comment on the blog entry that states he has a brother named Cody? Get a life anonymous Schilling. If anybody has a law suit it would be Cody for being falsely related to a degenerate like Shane.

Clem said...

If Curt Schilling would have spent a little less time playing baseball and more time with his son Shane maybe Shane wouldn't have been out doing drugs and stealing cars. I blame all of this on Shane. I hope that world series was worth it!

WWWWWW said...

I don't know what your problem is dude, but just check Wikipedia if you want to get your facts straight regarding all thinks Shilling.

Bryce Harper said...

Anonymous Schilling, you are so stupid it hurts. I'm starting to believe that you're a fictitious character because nobody can be as thick as you appear to be. How would you or the family have a case against this blogger? Shane, maybe a .001 chance, but not you or any other member of your clearly stupid family.

I don't blame Cody for getting as far away from his family as he has!

P.S. Is there any way that you could post the Schilling coat of arms for us?

friend of the family said...

Dear blogger,

The moral of the story is simply that Cody Schilling and Shane Schilling are not brothers. Do you agree? If not, please state your evidence linking the two.

Thank you,
Friend of the family

Anonymous said...

It doesn't even matter what he thinks. He's a loser with no life and spends his life at a computer screen. Don't even respond to him or any of his fake aliases. He just sounds more and more ignorant.

Bryce Harper said...

Friend of the Family - Can you prove they're not related?

WWWWWW said...

If you put "Cody Schilling brother" into google you get over 4 million results back. I think that's proof enough.

friend of the family said...

I grew up with the Schilling family...I don't need to prove anything. I know the truth.

friend of the family said...

http://www.noblescountyreview.net/default.asp?storyid=56074&secid=101

Not brothers

WWWWWW said...

Can one of you dorks let me know what law firm is going to be suing me so I can get my guys prepped? They usually spend most of their time eating chicken wings, falling down stairs, and watching their kid push other poor defenseless kids down so I really need to know where we're at with this lawsuit so I know if I need to send them a fax or not.

R. Rosenbaum said...

You can't honestly believe that you could possible have a legal case over a blogger saying that Shane and Cody are brothers, can you? You can't be that dumb right? Wait, you're related to Shane? Never mind, it all makes sense now.

Loretta8 said...

W,

My proud law firm of Mirkovic, Rickert and Abu-Shamala is in the process of drafting a lawsuit. You will be served with papers shortly.

Sincerely,

Mark Loretta8, Esquire, PhD, DTF

Anonymous (but not the dumb one) said...

This is awesome. Fight the man W!

WWWWWW said...

I think I won!

InternetDetective said...

I'm not entirely sure, but after a quick bit of googling, I think the Schilling relative who's posting here might be Shane's half-brother Peter Schilling, the German synth-pop musician, most famous for the song "Major Tom (Coming Home)," performed on the show Breaking Bad. Either him, or Shane's step-son Frank Schilling, world-famous domain investor.

Anonymous said...

What a shitty story. Hopefully April 10, 2012 was the last time you typed anything on a blog. Your writing skills are on par with that of a chimp smashing a keyboard with its ass.

WWWWWW said...

I have way better spelling and grammar than that chimp.

Ex-Girlfriend of Shane Shilling said...

Shane and Cody most certainly are brothers. I am an old girlfriend of Shane's and his big baby of a brother Cody used to always try to get in my pants. They are most certainly brothers.


Sincerely,

Ex-girlfriend of Shane Shilling

Ex-Girlfriend of Shane Shilling said...

Shane and Cody are most certainly brothers. I am Shane's ex-girlfriend and his big baby of a brother Cody used to try and get in my pants all the time.

WWWW I would be happy to serve as a witness in said "lawsuit".

Just to ease any confusion Cody and Shane ARE brothers.

Sincerely,
Ex-girlfriend of Shane Shilling

Anonymous said...

Shane and Cody are most certainly brothers. I am Shane's ex-girlfriend and his big baby of a brother Cody used to try and get in my pants all the time.

WWWW I would be happy to serve as a witness in said "lawsuit".

Just to ease any confusion Cody and Shane ARE brothers.

Sincerely,
Ex-girlfriend of Shane Shilling

Shane's Ex-Girlfriend said...

Shane and Cody are most certainly brothers. I am Shane's ex-girlfriend and his big baby of a brother Cody used to try and get in my pants all the time.

WWWW I would be happy to serve as a witness in said "lawsuit".

Just to ease any confusion Cody and Shane ARE brothers.

Sincerely,
Ex-girlfriend of Shane Shilling

Anonymous said...

Shane and Cody are most certainly brothers. I am Shane's ex-girlfriend and his big baby of a brother Cody used to try and get in my pants all the time.

WWWW I would be happy to serve as a witness in said "lawsuit".

Just to ease any confusion Cody and Shane ARE brothers.

Sincerely,
Ex-girlfriend of Shane Shilling

Anonymous said...

Shane and Cody are most certainly brothers. I am Shane's ex-girlfriend and his big baby of a brother Cody used to try and get in my pants all the time.

WWWW I would be happy to serve as a witness in said "lawsuit".

Just to ease any confusion Cody and Shane ARE brothers.

Sincerely,
Ex-girlfriend of Shane Shilling

Ex-Girlfriend of Shane Shilling said...

Shane and Cody are most certainly brothers. I am Shane's ex-girlfriend and his big baby of a brother Cody used to try and get in my pants all the time.

WWWW I would be happy to serve as a witness in said "lawsuit".

Just to ease any confusion Cody and Shane ARE brothers.

Sincerely,
Ex-girlfriend of Shane Shilling

Ex-Girlfriend of Shane Shilling said...

Shane and Cody are most certainly brothers. I am Shane's ex-girlfriend and his big baby of a brother Cody used to try and get in my pants all the time.

WWWW I would be happy to serve as a witness in said "lawsuit".

Just to ease any confusion Cody and Shane ARE brothers.

Sincerely,
Ex-girlfriend of Shane Shilling

WWWWWW said...

So what are you trying to say?

#Gofuckyourselves said...

GODDAMMIT DAWGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!