Monday, November 21, 2011


The Gophers crushed the Mount Saint Mary's Gaels tonight in a game that could only be described as "ridiculous."  As miraculous as it was without Ralph, the Gophers dominated this game the entire first half and ended up with a 51-18 lead at the half.  I would love to tell you about the second half but I can't because it was stupid and we left at halftime.  Which is interesting, because in a twist M. Night couldn't have come up with we made it for the tip-off.  So we actually made it to the game on time, but it was the very same game we left at half.  Duh Duh DUH!

Seriously thought that was stupid and I'm bored.  Even though it was a monster blowout and you really can't learn much no matter what the Gopher Hole tells you, there are still a few things worth noting.  Three, to be precise.

1.  The Gophers destroyed a team they were supposed to destroy.  I don't have your fancy internet so I can't go back and look it up but when was the last time the Gophers won by 30?  I swear in the last few years every time they've played an opponent of this caliber they struggle to some degree, and even if they end up winning by 20+ there are still moments where they struggle.  Ok fine I looked it up and their biggest win last year was only by 23 over Eastern Kentucky, but they did open two seasons ago with three straight wins of 25+ including two over 30.  But whatever.  I'm not interested in facts, I'm not some fancy scientist.  This win felt more significant. 

2.  It should have become abundantly clear what Rodney Williams is, and for lack of a better term/analogy he's a bully.  When he's far and away the most athletic player on the court and is going against a bunch of little dorks he can just jump over and/or around he dominates like he did tonight.  The minute he has to face anybody who can compete with him jumpingness-wise or opponents who he can't just put his head down and charge to rim against he goes into his little passive shell like Preston from Can't Hardly Wait.  You can be better, Rodney, I know it.  You don't have to be the same one dimensional player you were in high school.  It's time to break free.  Give Amanda the letter, Rodney.  Give her the letter.

This could be you Rodney.  Look how happy he is.  Also I really hope somebody gets this joke.

3.  Mt. St. Mary's point guard is my new favorite player.  Josh Castellanos is like if you took Jordan Hulls but took away his ability and jump shot and everything good about him and traded it for some Alando Tucker glasses.  I've never enjoyed watching someone be terrible so much.  He combines an inability to shoot with an unwillingness to like I've never seen, but then throws the cherry on top by being completely terrified of defensive pressure.  I love him. I couldn't find a picture of him in those sweet rims, but this is about what it looked like:
I'm scared, please don't make me dribble.
It was awesome.  And yes, before some smart ass posts it, I wore Rec Specs to play hoops in 6th grade.  Sorry not all families are rich enough to afford contacts, your highness.


endo said...

Pres-stone..kinda tall, brown hair, wears t-shirts....sometimes

The Todd said...

I am a sex ma-chine.

WWWWWW said...

Great movie.